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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Time Traveling Toaster, Road to Riches, Donut Day 2017 and 4th of July 2017 content update/Time Traveling Toaster and Donut Day 2017/Premium Gameplay

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Museum of Unnatural History[edit]

After building Museum of Unnatural History:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png With the awesome power of time travel at our disposal, all the secrets of history will be revealed!
Tapped Out Hollis Hurlbut Icon.png Good Lord! I'm just about to publish: "Dishonest Abe: Lincoln's Hidden Past as America's Most Notorious Card Cheat".
Tapped Out Hollis Hurlbut Icon.png I'm not sure I WANT that one being investigated.
Tapped Out Hollis Hurlbut Icon.png Of course, if I traveled back in time first, and CONVINCED the sixteenth president to take up poker cheating...
Task: Make Hollis Hurlbut Alter the Facts (4h, Homer's Workbench or Springfield Historical Society)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Simpson Genome Project[edit]

The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Hollis Hurlbut's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Hollis Hurlbut Icon.png DNA analysis has opened the floodgates of historical inquiry.
Tapped Out Hollis Hurlbut Icon.png Anyone interested in a free DNA swab? Learn your family's genetic roots?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Of course! I'd LOVE to know what great peoples of the past I'm related to.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Lisa, I'm not sure the genetic soup that made me and Bart is a tasty one...
Task: Make Lisa Get a Genetic Test (4h, Springfield Historical Society)
Task: Make Hollis Hurlbut Send Tests Away for Study (4h, Springfield Historical Society)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Hollis Hurlbut's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Hollis Hurlbut Icon.png The results are in! The Simpson gene is overwhelmingly Neanderthal!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Well, I did hear every person of Eurasian descent has a TINY amount of Neanderthal in them...
Tapped Out Hollis Hurlbut Icon.png It would be more precise to say the Simpsons have a tiny amount of human in them.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I don't suppose you'd be willing to change that result? For my peace of mind?
Tapped Out Hollis Hurlbut Icon.png Lisa, I'm a historian. Twisting the evidence in whatever way is most convenient is what I do. Consider it done!
Task: Make Hollis Hurlbut Alter the Facts (4h, Homer's Workbench or Springfield Historical Society)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Hollis Hurlbut's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Hollis Hurlbut Icon.png It's amazing that primitive cavemen could survive into modern times. You should be so proud, Cave Lisa.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I'm a straight-A student! I'm not a caveman!
Tapped Out Hollis Hurlbut Icon.png Well, I'll run a few more tests. But Neanderthals DID have larger craniums. It all fits, you see.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png NOTHING FITS! RUN MORE TESTS!
Task: Make Lisa Get Further Testing (4h, Springfield Historical Society)
Task: Make Homer Go in for Testing (4h, Springfield Historical Society)
Tapped Out Hollis Hurlbut Icon.png Homer, Lisa, you both have the largest heads I've ever recorded.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png That's why I'm so smart. Smart as an ape, they all say!
Tapped Out Hollis Hurlbut Icon.png Such fascinating primate behavior. What a discovery!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I'M NOT A DISCOVERY AND NEITHER IS MY DAD!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Hollis Hurlbut's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Hollis Hurlbut Icon.png Lisa, as a peace offering, I brought you a present.
Tapped Out Hollis Hurlbut Icon.png Here. A shank of wild boar. I know how your people love big meat shanks.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Save it. If I'm a Neanderthal, then I am going to celebrate my history.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Besides, do you have any idea how interesting this will look on a college application? Yale, here I come!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png And I get to go on disability!
Task: Make Lisa Study Neanderthal History (4h, Simpson House)
Task: Make Homer Skip Work (4h, Moe's Tavern)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Diets Are for Boobs[edit]

Diets Are for Boobs Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Booberella's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Cavegirl Booberella Icon.png Ever wonder how I got my booooob-iful physique?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Prehistoric plastic surgery? Some sort of stone-based implants, most likely?
Tapped Out Cavegirl Booberella Icon.png Actually, it's the revolutionary Neo-Paleo Diet!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Well, it SOUNDS safe and effective. My only concern is: is it trendy?
Tapped Out Cavegirl Booberella Icon.png Oh yes. It consists of the three foods our ancestor's bodies EVOLVED to eat: grubs, dirt, and starvation!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Yum! I'm convinced!
Task: Make Homer Research Neo-Paleo Diet (4h, Simpson House)
Task: Make Cavegirl Booberella Sell Her Book (4h, Curvaceous Cave)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Diets Are for Boobs Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Booberella's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Cavegirl Booberella Icon.png The Neo-Paleo Diet is so simple and easy. All you need is to buy my 450-page book!
Tapped Out Cavegirl Booberella Icon.png It explains the pseudoscience behind the diet, based on the latest hunches of top psychic nutritionists.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Slow down there, Professor! I'm sold!
Task: Make Cavegirl Booberella Market Her Diet (4h, Curvaceous Cave)
Task: Make Springfielders Begin Dieting [x5] (4h, Curvaceous Cave)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Diets Are for Boobs Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Booberella's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I've already lost two pounds on the Neo-Paleo Diet! And I've never felt hungrier!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Krusty Burger sales are down fifty percent! Where are all my customers?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png We're living the natural, healthy lifestyle of our cavemen ancestors.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I'm gonna live 'til I'm thirty and die of a broken leg that gets infected!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Time to talk to this cavegirl huckster. Our two kinds of bullcrap could make beautiful music together...
Task: Make Homer Forage (4h, Trees)
Task: Make Krusty Research Diet Gimmicks (4h, Krusty Burger)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Diets Are for Boobs Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Booberella's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Cavegirl Booberella Icon.png Neo-Paleo Industries is proud to announce our new partnership!
Tapped Out Cavegirl Booberella Icon.png We are teaming with America's leader in fast, healthy food -- Krustyburger!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Try the New Neo-burger! It's loaded with all the good things cavemen crave -- grubs, grubs, and more grubs!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Which was always the main ingredient in my "burgers." But now, it's a selling point!
Task: Make Springfielders Eat at Krusty Burger [x5] (30m, Krusty Burger)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

The Power of Pharaohmones[edit]

The Power of Pharaohmones Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Skinner's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Today, children, is our field trip to the museum, where we will study the relics of ancient Egypt.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png More importantly, we will execute the intricate, beautiful dance that is the buddy system.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png And if we could get through lunch without a food fight, that would be a first in school hist--
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png FOOD FIGHT!
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Simpson! We're not even on the bus yet!
Task: Make Skinner Lead a Field Trip (4h, Springsonian Museum, Springfield Museum of Natural History or Springfield Library)
Task: Make Kids Go on a Field Trip [x3] (4h, Springsonian Museum, Springfield Museum of Natural History or Springfield Library)
Characters: Bart, Lisa, Milhouse, Nelson, Ralph, Database, Dolph, Janey, Greta Wolfcastle
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png The Pharaohs were ruthless dictators. All feared them, none dared disobey.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png In many ways, they were the elementary school principals of their day.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png What was that?
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Nothing, nothing.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Power of Pharaohmones Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Skinner's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Look! I think Skinner's flipped his lid!
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png You will address me as Pharaoh! I think I've earned it, by switching clothes.
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png Effective immediately, English will be replaced by Hieroglyphics, Gym by Manual Labor, and Math by Worship of Pharaoh.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I'm not worshipping you. It'll destroy my brand!
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png You will obey the Living God or face the ultimate penalty! The ultimate penalty, FYI, remains detention.
Task: Make Pharaoh Skinner Teach Hieroglyphics (4h, Tuts 'n' Tots Elementary or Springfield Elementary)
Task: Make Kids Learn Hieroglyphics [x3] (4h, Tuts 'n' Tots Elementary or Springfield Elementary
Characters: Bart, Lisa, Milhouse, Nelson, Ralph, Database, Dolph, Janey, Greta Wolfcastle
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png No, no, no. It's eye before tree, except after sea.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Power of Pharaohmones Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Skinner's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png Silence!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png No one said anything.
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png Still, it's a fun thing to yell. Let's knock off class early and you guys build an enormous stone me.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Hey, Lis. Let's secretly make the body of the statue a jackass. That'll show him!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Great prank. You do realize, either way it'll take centuries to build this thing.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I don't hear you coming up with ideas!
Task: Make Pharaoh Skinner Rule With an Iron Ankh (12h, Pharaoh Throne)
Task: Make Kids Build an Edifice of Skinner [x3] (4h, Tuts 'n' Tots Elementary or Springfield Elementary
Characters: Bart, Lisa, Milhouse, Nelson, Ralph, Database, Dolph, Janey, Greta Wolfcastle
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png Look upon my works ye faculty and despair!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Power of Pharaohmones Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Skinner's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Miss Hoover Icon.png Seymour, none of my students showed up for class today. Not that I'm complaining.
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png They toil for the glory of their Living God. That's me. I got a promotion.
Tapped Out Miss Hoover Icon.png Great. I'll be in the faculty smoking lounge.
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png Wait! How would you like to rule by my side? All that you see can be yours, from the baseball diamond to the P.E. storage shed!
Tapped Out Miss Hoover Icon.png I think I'd better call Superintendent Chalmers.
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png I begin the mating dance!
Task: Make Pharaoh Skinner Do a Mating Dance (4h)
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png Look upon my moves, ye groovy, and dig it!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Power of Pharaohmones Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Skinner's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Chalmers Icon.png SKIN-NER! What's this I hear about you establishing a dynasty on school property?
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png Silence, GARY! Do not presume to meet my holy gaze.
Tapped Out Chalmers Icon.png Skinner, grown a backbone? What's next: swarms of locusts and people praying to the sun?
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png That's the plan!
Task: Make Pharaoh Skinner Pray to Ra (4h, Tuts 'n' Tots Elementary or Springfield Elementary
Tapped Out Agnes Icon.png Seymour! Put down that scepter! You'll strain your back!
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png Mother! I've become all-powerful, so will you please just let me have this!
Tapped Out Agnes Icon.png Oh, poo! Take off that dress and come home. My varicose veins aren't going to massage themselves.
Tapped Out Pharaoh Skinner Icon.png Yes, Mother...
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Gil Intro[edit]

After tapping on Gil's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Do you hear that?
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Hear what?
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Music! And everyone's number one favorite KIND of music -- classical!
Tapped Out Mozart Icon.png What up, jerks?! It's me, the Liam Gallagher of the 1700s! Wolfgang Amadeus Thrash H-Bomb Mozart!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Hey, Mozart! Get your own look! I call likeness infringement!
Mozart Gil Offer.png
On offer accepted:
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Finally! A sale! I'm taking my best girl out for dinner or a movie! Whichever is cheaper!
On offer declined:
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png No Mozart? Hey, I got a Beethoven in decent condition, if you're interested? No? Gently used Brahms? No?

Requiem in D-Ception[edit]

Requiem in D-Ception Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Mozart's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Mozart Icon.png Hello, Springfield! Are you ready to get classical?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Cute costume, Bart. You don't even TALK like you're from the eighteenth century.
Tapped Out Mozart Icon.png Mozart's stage banter was always ahead of its time, little girl. Now who is this "Bart" you speak of?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Have it your way. I'll get a piano, and we'll SEE who's the musical genius in this family.
Task: Make Lisa Get a Piano (4h, Concert Hall)
Task: Make Mozart Write Music by Foot (1h)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Requiem in D-Ception Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Mozart's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png All right, "Wolfgang". If you're such a musical prodigy, prove it.
Tapped Out Mozart Icon.png I have just written an entire opera in my head. I call it, "The Magic Loser". Guess who it's about?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You're no musician. You couldn't play "Hot Cross Buns" on a PLAYER piano.
Tapped Out Mozart Icon.png I know that song. Here, allow me to improvise fifty variations, playing the keyboard with only my naked butt.
Task: Make Mozart Play a Masterpiece (4h)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Requiem in D-Ception Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Mozart's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Mozart Icon.png Impressed? I thought the farts-only version was quite melodious, myself.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I don't know how you managed that trick, Bart.
Tapped Out Mozart Icon.png We have an expression in the 1700s. It goes "nanny-nanny-boo-boo, chump"!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I'll show you TWO can play at this game.
Task: Make Lisa Dress as Classical Musician Salieri (4h, Concert Hall)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Requiem in D-Ception Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Mozart's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Salieri Lisa Icon.png I challenge you to a musical duel, Mozart! Winner gets to headline the Concert Hall opening!
Tapped Out Mozart Icon.png And the loser... will be you.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Do it Lisa! I have faith in you.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I don't! But good luck, anyway, sis!
Tapped Out Salieri Lisa Icon.png Thanks Bart.
Tapped Out Salieri Lisa Icon.png Wait, you're YOU? So that's really... MOZART? *gulp* I need some water...
Task: Make Mozart Play (8h)
Task: Make Lisa Drink From the Wrong Glass (4h)
Tapped Out Mozart Icon.png Hey, you stole my wine!
Tapped Out Salieri Lisa Icon.png What kind of a kid drinks port at noon?
Tapped Out Mozart Icon.png Duh. The eighteenth century kind.
Tapped Out Salieri Lisa Icon.png My head hurts...
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Requiem in D-Ception Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Mozart's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Mozart Icon.png What was that unusual music you were playing, Lisa?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Oh, that's right. You're never heard jazz before, have you? What did you think?
Tapped Out Mozart Icon.png Seemed like a lot of pretentious, self-involved noodling with no melody.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Does ANYBODY like jazz?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Ah well, at least I got my family to listen to me play for ten minutes straight. That's a new record!
Task: Make the Simpson Family Celebrate Together [x3] (4h, Concert Hall)
Task: Make Mozart Celebrate With Everyone Else (4h, Concert Hall)
Task: Make Everyone Else Celebrate [x5] (4h, Concert Hall)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

No Leg to Stand On[edit]

No Leg to Stand On Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Blackbeard's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png ARRRR! I be Blackbeard, scourge of the Seven Seas! Gaze upon me and tremble, ye landlubbers!
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Cool! A fun pirate!
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png Fun?! Yer not scared of the vile murderer Edward Teach?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Not at all! Pirates are awesome, even if some people say they're for babies.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png It's not like you're the GHOST of Blackbeard or anything. Wait, are you?
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png Uh... sure thing. If that's what scares ye, that's what I be. Boo!
Task: Make Blackbeard Seek His Treasure (4h, Ghost Pirate Airship)
Task: Make Milhouse Run in Fear (4h, Van Houten House)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

No Leg to Stand On Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Blackbeard's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png Me treasure is dug up! How was I to know that Miami Beach would prove a less-than-ideal hiding spot?
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png I'm penniless, ship-less, no one's afraid of me, and I don't even have a crew.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Maybe I can join his vile pirate crew! Can I, Ma? Can I?
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png That sounds so cute! Let me get a picture of you with the funny "pirate".
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png Look, lady. I murder people. All the time. Over a few gold pieces. I'm not proud of it, but there you go.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Ooh! Him a SCARY pirate, isn't him?
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png ...
Task: Make Bart Apply to Be a Pirate (4h, Ghost Pirate Airship)
Task: Make Blackbeard Accept Applications (4h, Ghost Pirate Airship)
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png If all the lads here are like this "Bart" fellow, it's going to be one pathetic crew.
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png He made me promise him chocolate milk at every meal and one hour a day of something called "screen time".
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

No Leg to Stand On Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Blackbeard's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png Without me terrifying reputation, I'm nothing! But how can I make people fear me without a ship or crew?
Tapped Out Herman Icon.png The right firearm might bring your swagger back, my friend.
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png Arr! You be missing a limb! I like that. Three really is the ideal number of appendages for a fellow.
Tapped Out Herman Icon.png Step into my store...
Task: Make Blackbeard Check Out Wares (4h, Herman's Military Antiques)
Task: Make Herman Display Arms (4h, Herman's Military Antiques)
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png Good God! I be one of history's bloodiest pirates, and even I be horrified by the cannons these people carry around.
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png What kind of lunatic needs a semi-automatic rifle? No wonder these trigger-happy madmen aren't scared of ol' Blackbeard!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

No Leg to Stand On Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Blackbeard's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png No one here understands me. I be obsolete. A dinosaurrrrrrrr.
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png I like the cut of your "arrrrrrrrrrrs", stranger.
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png Do me ears deceive me? Be you a fellow pirate?
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png No. But for some reason, I talk like one. Point is, matey, you arrrrrre not alone.
Tapped Out Blackbeard Icon.png Take me to sea, or lose me forever!
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png Step right this way. Me ship awaits!
Task: Make Sea Captain Join the Crew (4h, Ghost Pirate Airship)
Task: Make Blackbeard Pour Mugs O' Rum (4h, Ghost Pirate Airship)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20