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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Secret Agents and Easter 2017 content update/Secret Agents/Gameplay

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Act 1 Gameplay[edit]

The Man Who Knew Too Little[edit]

The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 1[edit]

After the user logs in on March 28th:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hey, look at this classified ad for the Arcturus Modelling Agency. I'm a shoo in!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png "Seeking fat, middle-aged, bald man with background in nuclear safety". Dad, don't you think this ad is suspiciously targeted at you?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Just because I have one of those things -- a background in nuclear safety?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Also, since when do we get the newspaper? When does ANYONE get the paper?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Well, I can't ignore a tiny ad in a dead paper. I'm off to catch my big break!
Task: Make Homer Try Out for the Modelling Gig (6s, Brown House)
Tapped Out STEM-antha Icon.png V'elcome, Mr. Simpson. Vee have been expecting you.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png How did you know vy name?!
Tapped Out STEM-antha Icon.png How many Mr. Simpsons can there be in the world?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Umm...
Tapped Out STEM-antha Icon.png You don't have to answer that.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 2[edit]

After completing The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 1:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png So what kind of nude modelling is this?
Tapped Out STEM-antha Icon.png No one said anything about nude: please put your pants back on.
Tapped Out Testost-Irene Icon.png Come with me, Mr. Simpson. We must get you in hair and makeup.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Good luck improving on this beefcake.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Mmm... beef cake.
Task: Make Homer Go to Hair and Makeup (6s, Brown House)
On job start:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Not that I'm not into it, but what's with all the restraints?
Tapped Out STEM-antha Icon.png Silence! Focus on the screen. Soon you will find yourself hypnotized against your own government...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Death to the G-men!
Tapped Out STEM-antha Icon.png I haven't started the hypnosis yet.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 3[edit]

After completing The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 2:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hair and muzzle makeup wasn't so hard – I don't see what all those models are complaining about.
Tapped Out Secret Voice Icon.png Homer, you must initiate Project Lazarus. Gather minions and form your own superpower.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Oh, no! I've developed a judgmental inner voice, like all models!
Tapped Out Secret Voice Icon.png The voice you hear is coming from the headset we gave you.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I THOUGHT you were different from the voices I usually hear.
Task: Make Homer Gather Minions (6s, Brown House)
Task: Trick Springfielders Into Being Brainwashed [x3] (6s, Brown House)
Characters: Apu, Cletus, Krusty, Skinner, Marge, Moe
Tapped Out Secret Voice Icon.png Well done. Now we will brainwash the masses into hating their own government.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Way ahead of you, creepy voice. I already told people postage stamps were going up two cents.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png The masses are collecting pitchforks and lighting torches now.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 4[edit]

After completing The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 3:
Tapped Out Secret Voice Icon.png It's time to establish a base of operations: somewhere to conduct our various acts of subterfuge.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png How 'bout Krusty Burger? They've got free WiFi and a new seven-patty burger, called the Widowmaker. It makes funerals fun again!
Tapped Out Secret Voice Icon.png This will be a brand new state-of-the-art facility, not some slop factory. I've set up an account for you with near-unlimited funds.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Thanks, but I'll just get Sky Finger to pay for it.
Task: Build Agency Headquarters
Task: Send Agents to Collect Intel on the Widowmaker [x3]
Unreleased text:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Not bad, but I'm not tasting seven patties.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png The meat plays tricks on your mind and in a few hours it'll play tricks on your digestive tract.

The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 5[edit]

After completing The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 4:
Tapped Out Secret Voice Icon.png You've done well, Homer. I think it's time we met. Look behind you.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png A talking car?! I knew they were real!
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png No, Homer, over here.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Mr. Scorpio? I thought you... you know... died.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png You can't kill an idea, Homer – just break many of its bones, collapse some of its organs and force it into hiding. But I'm back, and I want you to be my number two.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png A fella always dreams of meeting a number one who needs a number two!
Task: Tap the Men in Tan [x10]
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Look out, Martin Shkreli! I'll be back on top of Forbes Most Evil Employers list in a heartbeat.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png They just call that "Top CEOs" now.
Quest reward: XP.png10 and 100 Event Currency

The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 6[edit]

After completing The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 5:
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png The key to any intelligence agency is the intelligence: you've got to have more eyes than Mississippi.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png That would be four. We'll need more than that.
Tapped Out Willie Icon.png Willie can hide cameras everywhere and watch 'em all from me custodian's closet.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png I appreciate the disturbing offer, but we need to think bigger. I'm talking global positioning satellite levels of peeping tomfoolery.
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png In my day, we used to just root through people's garbage.
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Hey, you're talkin' about my home there!
Task: Build the Surveillance Post
Task: Launch the Drone Scan
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Uh oh, I think I broke something.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png What, that flash? Drones have a tendency to overload like that.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Lucky for us, it also wipes the memory of anyone who looks at it and sends them packing.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png You did cover your eyes for that, didn't you?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Um... what answer doesn't make me look stupid...?
Quest reward: XP.png10 and 100 Event Currency

Pretty Fly for a WiFi[edit]

After completing The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 6:
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Someone has been trying to hack into our network, and I'm afraid I've discovered whom.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png That's good news. Is it the FBI? NSA? CIA? Please don't tell me... the WNBA?
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png I'm afraid it's YOU.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Oh, God: my only equal.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png I should say, alternate yous. Or is it parallel? Sorry, I was sick on review day at the university.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png We've got to beat me at my own game: it's hack or be hacked.
Task: Hack WiFi in a Friend's Town [x3]
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png So much data. I don't have to actually read through all this, do I?
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png The point of espionage isn't what you DO with the information, just that you HAVE it.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Woo-hoo! Just as I suspected: reading is for suckers.
Quest reward: XP.png10 and 100 Event Currency

The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 7[edit]

After completing Pretty Fly for a WiFi:
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png We're wasting too much time and energy on putting out fires.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png So we should be starting fires?
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png When the heat is on, one needs to be a master of disguise and hide in plain sight.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Way ahead of you.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Take that off, Homer.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Homer who? I'm Admiral Troutpuncher of Her Majesty's Royal Navy.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Oh, brother.
Quest reward: Schematic.png40
Task: Build the Hidden Research Facility
Task: Spend Schematics on Research
Quest reward: XP.png50 and 500 Event Currency

Eye Spy, You Spy[edit]

Eye Spy, You Spy Pt. 1[edit]

After completing The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 7:
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png NOW we're spying! Just remember the Six Sigma three C's: Collect, Consume, and Control.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png That's my goal for every meal.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Just look what Oogle pulled off: they turned harmless driving directions into global surveillance.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png And made me fall for a sexy computer voice that I can never have for my own.
Task: Make Homer Bug Houses (4h, Homes)
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Strong work, Homer. Where did you train to become such an expert in spying?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Years of practicing on Flanders. My motto: A bug in every Bible and a camera in every Christ on the cross.
Quest reward: XP.png10 and 100 Event Currency

Eye Spy, You Spy Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png You guys are going about this all wrong. Everyone already willingly shares their most intimate details on Springface. Get with the times, man!
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png I'm still partial to keistering microfilm. Nothin' beats the feelin' of knowing you got secrets in your bum.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Ignore the old man, but the boy is onto something. Social media is the modern spycraft and knowledge is more powerful than any gun...
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png ...except for ACTUAL guns, naturally.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Let's get creeping! I can't wait to pretend I still care about jerks I haven't seen since high school.
Task: Make Homer Signup for Springface (4h, Simpson House)
Task: Make Bart Hack Homer's Springface (4h, Simpson House)
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Homer! Why did you change your relationship status to "It's complicated"?!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I don't remember doing that. Maybe it was at the same time that I changed my name to "Anita Mann".
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png *chuckles*
Quest reward: XP.png10 and 100 Event Currency

Eye Spy, You Spy Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Data is everywhere and it's ripe for the picking. The trick is in getting some, without people realizing they're giving it away.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Like prom night.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png We've got banner ads, malware, pop-ups, drop-downs, and freemium mobile games – all that's left is to spam people with phishing emails.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Aye-aye, Captain! I'm onboard hook, line, and sinker.
Task: Make Homer Spam Fishing Emails (4h, Simpson House)
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Soooo... I think my email got hacked.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png You made your password "password" didn't you?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I'm not an idiot. I made it "Homer Simpson's password". Much harder.
Quest reward: XP.png10 and 100 Event Currency

Eye Spy, You Spy Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png What were you thinking, using your personal email instead of the encrypted one I gave you?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png It was convenient – I've had ChunkyLover53 since college. It speaks more about me than me.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Well, now your identity has been stolen!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Can we go identity shopping? Can we?! Can we?! Ooo, I can be Hank Scorpio!
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png ...
Task: Make Homer Shop for a New Identity (4h, Kwik-E-Mart)
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png What happened to finding a new identity?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I got mine back, once the guy realized it wasn't worth stealing.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png AND he improved my credit score. Now I can go out and ruin it again!
System Message The story will continue in Act 2. Keep scanning for Agents and collecting Intel to get more prizes!
Quest reward: XP.png50 and 500 Event Currency

Act 2 Gameplay[edit]

The Worn Identity[edit]

The Worn Identity Pt. 1[edit]

After the user logs in on April 11th:
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png We can't keep up! For every enemy we know about, there are four more hiding in the shadows.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Like paternity suits!
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Or Mother's moles.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png What good are eyes everywhere, when half of them are lazy? What we need is a sleeper agent.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Did someone say "sleeper"? *Yawn* I might be able to help you out.
Task: Make Homer Become a Sleeper Agent (4h)
Tapped Out Man-in-Tan Icon.png Sir, are you alright?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Wha...?
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Homer, you did it: you exposed an enemy agent!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Woo-hoo! That's a lot less than I normally expose!
Quest reward: XP.png10 and 100 Event Currency

The Worn Identity Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png You're a natural covert agent, Homer. I'm sending you under cover.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ooh, "under covers"! Do I get pajamas? If not, I can sleep in the buff.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png What you get is this donut with a microscopic camera, so that you-
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png A micro-what?
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png That camera is lost forever.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png We can get it back when it comes out.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Like I said, "lost forever". We'll go with a second camera in a giant cowboy hat instead.
Task: Make Homer Go Undercover (4h)
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png How'd it go? Did you get some good footage?
Tapped Out Camera Hat Homer Icon.png I watched a plastic bag blow in the wind for hours.
Tapped Out Camera Hat Homer Icon.png That footage is still more exciting than Daniel Day Lewis' "Lincoln".
Quest reward: XP.png10 and 100 Event Currency

The Worn Identity Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Egahh!! Those are the most horrifying monsters I've ever seen!
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png This is the footage we recovered from your stomach.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Last night's pork chops don't look so pretty anymore.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png And why is your hat buzzing?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png That's probably the bee. I bugged it, just like you said.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Don't worry, I made sure it was a queen: I'm not an idiot.
Task: Make Homer Run From Bees (4h)
Tapped Out Camera Hat Homer Icon.png Soon I'll be more honey than spy!
Quest reward: XP.png10 and 100 Event Currency

No Rest for the Wicked[edit]

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Being an evil mastermind isn't all fun and games – except for Mastermind: the game, which is fun. We can play that after this.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png I can only imagine how much dust builds up in an underground volcano base.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png It's worth it for what I save on my heating bill, and nothing keeps the minions in line like being surrounded by molten lava.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png An evil mastermind isn't just evil laughs and Rube Goldberg death traps?
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png No. And it's not a one-man operation. One has to surround oneself with good henchmen like you, Homer.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png There's no "I" in Mastermind.
Task: Make Homer Practice His Evil Laugh (4h, Agency Headquarters)
Task: Make Sea Captain Feed the Mutant Sharks (4h, Agency Headquarters)
Task: Make Willie Clean the Death Traps (4h, Agency Headquarters)
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Muhahaha!
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Keep practicing – it's got to come from a deep dark place within you.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png It's coming from my gut.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png I meant your childhood.
Quest reward: XP.png10 and 100 Event Currency

Secret Agent Moe[edit]

After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png It's time we fought fire with its mortal enemy: more fire!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Didn't the Cold War teach you anything about world-devastating weapon one-upmanship?
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png That's a great idea: an endless cycle of fear!
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png I got just what you guys need: a jar of pickled eggs that's been sitting by the radiator since I first opened shop.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Do we dare cross the line into biological warfare?
Task: Make Moe Retrieve Preserves of Mass Destruction (4h, Moe's Tavern)
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png No one will mess with you, so long as you've got these rancid bomb shells!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hey Moe, your eggs are bursting with flavor!
System Message The story will continue in Act 3. Keep scanning for Agents and collecting Intel to get more prizes!
Quest reward: XP.png50 and 500 Event Currency

Act 3 Gameplay[edit]

Mission Unpossible[edit]

Mission Unpossible Pt. 1[edit]

After the user logs in on April 25th and tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png I don't like the look of this chatter. We may have a mole among us.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png At the risk of thinking way outside of the box, I accuse Moleman!
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png You're going to need to go deep, deep under cover, Homer. A doub- trip- no, a DODECA agent.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png I'll fix him up so hoyvin-glayvin much Homer'll be more mole than man.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ooh... some sort of super secret, special training?
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png No time for that.
Task: Make Homer Receive Shock Therapy (4h, Frink's Lab or Agency Headquarters)
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Does everything taste purple to anyone else?
Quest reward: XP.png10 and 100 Event Currency

Mission Unpossible Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Homey, I'm worried: you're barely eating eight meals a day, and last night I caught you interrogating yourself on the toilet.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I was just yelling at the toilet paper. It knows why.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png You're clearly overdoing it for Mr. Scorpio.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Marge, you knew what you were getting into when you married a spy.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png I didn't marry a spy! Just promise me you'll take some time off.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Fine, but if Mr. Scorpio calls, I'm busy carrying out his nefarious directives.
Task: Make Homer Take Some Time Off (4h, Simpson Home)
Task: Make Homer's Alter Ego Work a Double Shift (8h, Agency Headquarters)
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Homer, where have you been?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Where am I NOW?
Quest reward: XP.png10 and 100 Event Currency

Mission Unpossible Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hank, I think I need to get out of the spy game.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png What's the trouble, Homer? Losing your identity? Can't take all the lying and backstabbing?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png No, I love those parts. I'm too confused by the spoons that are also forks, or pens with invisible ink.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png It's not invisible ink – you left the cap on.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png And I suppose my shoe phone is just a shoe?!
Task: Make Homer Get Out of the Spy Game (4h, Agency Headquarters)
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Sorry to let you down, Hank. I know you saw something special in me.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png That's okay, Homer. I only chose you because we have the same initials: it saved me a buttload on monogrammed office supplies.
Quest reward: XP.png10 and 100 Event Currency

Mission Unpossible Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I'm here to turn in my badge, Hank.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png I never gave you a badge.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Oh, right. That's a mustard stain.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Look, Homer, what if instead of getting out of the spy game, you do one last job?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png You mean like the "one last job" that's suppose to make me set for life, but instead gets me killed or imprisoned?
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Well... yes.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png A job offer is a job offer!
Task: Make Homer Do One Last Job (4h, Agency Headquarters)
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png That's it, Hank: I'm out – and I burned off my fingerprints.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png You didn't have to do that.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png It wasn't on purpose. I tried to pull bacon out of a deep fryer with my bare hands.
Quest reward: XP.png10 and 100 Event Currency

Mission Unpossible Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Where do you think YOU'RE going?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png We had a deal: one more job, then I'm out.
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png I can't just let you go back to walking around town with all those secrets in your head.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Are you here to... KILL ME?
Tapped Out Hank Scorpio Icon.png Only the parts you won't need anymore.
Task: Make Homer Receive More Shock Therapy (4h, Frink's Lab or Agency Headquarters)
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Nigerian inheritance? I'm rich!
Quest reward: XP.png50 and 500 Event Currency