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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Poochie's Dog Dayz content update/Gameplay

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Gameplay[edit]

Celebrate 636 Episodes[edit]

After the user logs in on July 11th:
System Message Maggie now has a special animated job to celebrate The Simpsons' 636th Episode!
Task: Make Maggie Celebrate Like It’s 1879 (4h)
Quest reward: Cash.png636 and XP.png636

Poorly Working Title[edit]

Poorly Working Title Intro[edit]

After the user logs in on July 11th:
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
Thanks for taking the time to meet with us, Krusty and Mr. Myers.
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png For my two biggest stars, Itchy & Scratchy?! Of course, anything I can do for you, just say the word.
Tapped Out Itchy Icon.png
We were wondering if we could scale back on the mallet-to-the-head bits?
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png Absolutely not, you scum-sucking weasels!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Without the constant threat of permanent memory loss, your cartoons are worthless!
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
But isn't there a way to... to... what was I saying?
Tapped Out Itchy Icon.png
What about bringing Poochie back to take some of the heat off us?
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png Bring Poochie back?! Kids hate him! He symbolizes when a game -- I mean SHOW -- has jumped the shark!
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
Until you bring him back, we're on strike!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png I don't need you! I can carry this show all by myself!
Task: Make Krusty Have a Comedic Panic Attack on Camera (6s, Brown House or Krustylu Studios)
Task: Make Springfielders Boo Krusty [x5] (6s, Brown House or Krustylu Studios)
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png I can't carry a show by myself! I need breaks to sit pantsless in my dressing room!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png For some reason the censors hate when I'm pantsless on the air.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png You've got to get Poochie back!
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png Hey Frink, you're a huge nerd, do you know how we can revive Poochie?
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png After that, how could I refuse? We'll need to get some scripts to feed into my re-animation machine.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png I'm not paying some jerk writers to sit around eating crappy Chinese food while they churn out lazy scripts.
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png Why pay professional writers when we can just hold a “Bring Poochie Back To Life” screenwriting contest for free?
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png Let's use our fans' passion against them!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Poorly Working Title Pt. 1[edit]

After completing Poorly Working Title:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Oh brother, they're having a “Bring Poochie Back To Life” script contest. Could they be any more desperate?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I agree. I never think about Poochie anymore. Not Poochie's face, not Poochie's irreverent in-your-face attitude, not Poochie nothin'.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Poochie.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png What's this file on your computer labeled “POOCHIE FAN FICTION”?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png It's, uh, an elaborate plan to kill your mother and collect the insurance money!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png It's not a plan to kill me. You talk about Poochie in your sleep.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png This could be your chance to bring YOUR version of Poochie to life.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Don't egg him on, Mom!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Yes, DO egg me on, because I will need several omelets to fuel me on as I write a Poochie script!
Task: Make Homer Submit Script to Itchy & Scratchy Studios (4h, Simpson House)
Task: Make Springfielders Submit Poochie Scripts [x5] (4h, Simpson House)
Task: Collect Poochie Scripts [x200]
On job start:
Tapped Out Sea Captain Icon.png Yarr! In my version of Poochie, he's a LAKE captain, who's got TWO squinty eyes, and he's a misunderstood genius. Also, I based it on myself.
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png In my script, Poochie is bitten by radioactive Peter Parker and gets the ability to take competent photographs.
Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon.png This just in... my Poochie script! It even has a punny title: “Death To Poochie”!
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png The scripts are supposed to be about Poochie coming back to life.
Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon.png What about “Life To Poochie”?
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png Now your pun has lost its whole frame of reference!
On job end:
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png There's hundreds of these script contest entries!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png I haven't seen stacks of paper this high since I made all that money licensing my name to that paper company.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Who's gonna read through these?
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png I assumed you were...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Um, excuse me? Have you picked a winner yet?
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png We haven't even looked at--
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png As a matter of fact, we just picked the winner... and it's you!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Me?!
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png Your script was so good, we're making you head writer!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png But the only thing I've ever written is a Grammy-winning album and a movie starring Mel Gibson!
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png Don't worry, kid, you'll do great. You can start by reading all these scripts to pick out the best parts.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Poorly Working Title Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Poorly Working Title Pt. 1:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png *rips script* This is garbage! How can these amateur contest entrants call themselves professional writers?!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Character development! Story arcs! Drama! ...are all things that are too old-fashioned!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I need to tap into what KIDS like!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Also, it's pretty impressive that I was able to rip an entire script in half...
Task: Make Youngsters Give Feedback [x5] (4h, Audience Research Table)
Characters: Nelson, Milhouse, Bart, Lisa, Ralph
Task: Collect Poochie Scripts [x200]
On job start:
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Talking cartoon dogs can't skateboard... it's just not believable.
Tapped Out Nelson Icon.png Poochie's funny “ha-ha”, not funny "Haw haw!"
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Please don't make him rap again. Pleeeease don't make him rap again. And no buzzwords!
Tapped Out Ralph Icon.png When I'm a good boy, my daddy lets me stick my head out the car window.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Find the comedic premise, heighten it three times, and get out!
On job end:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Okay, I've gone through all the scripts, listened to today's youth, included all the latest slang...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png ...drank six beers, and written the most perfect Poochie script there could ever be!
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png *flips to back page* Looks to be about the right length. I'm satisfied.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Woo hoo!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Poorly Working Title Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Poorly Working Title Pt. 2:
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png All right, Frink, are we ready to bring back Poochie now?
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Yes, the script appears to be roughly the correct amount of pages, which is all that ever mattered...
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png The only thing left is to record some sample voice over...
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png ...which I will do myself, because people love hearing my voice for extended periods of time...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Not so fast! If Poochie's known for one thing, it's his signature sunglasses. Do you know where I could get a pair?
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png Wait a minute Homer, YOU should record Poochie's voice!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Yeah, I guess since I was his voice last time it only makes sense. Now are you gonna make with the sunglasses or not?!
Task: Make Homer Record New Poochie Voice-Over (4h, Network Headquarters)
If the user has Roger Myers Jr.: Task: Make Roger Myers Jr. Begrudgingly Give Homer Poochie Sunglasses (4h, Network Headquarters
Task: Collect Poochie Scripts [x400]
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png You used your Weird Science machine, Frink, so where's Poochie?
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Oh yes, I believe he's doing what cool guys do and waiting to make a dramatic entrance... any minute now.
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Yo, yo, yolo, bruh! Poochie in da house, squad-fam! We gonna get it lit in here?!
Tapped Out Bart and Lisa Icon.png Ahhhh! He's trying to relate to us!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Poorly Working Title Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Poorly Working Title Pt. 3:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Kids, put that stupid homework down and come watch this cartoon right now!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Dad, I'm happy that Itchy and Scratchy are back, but why do they have to jam Poochie down our throats again?
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Seriously, when they killed him off the first time, they gave us the day off from school to celebrate.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Because Poochie has been retooled to be super modern...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png ...so you better watch or you're gonna get beaten up at school for not knowing what the dealio is.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png A guy who just said “what's the dealio” is lecturing me on being cool.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Shhh! Poochie's about to make a slam dunk!
Task: Make Homer Laugh at All His Own Jokes (4h, Simpson House)
Task: Make Poochie Dunk a Basketball (4h, Bicycle Basketball Ramp)
Task: Make Youngsters Hate-Watch Poochie [x5] (4h, Brown House)
Task: Collect Poochie Scripts [x300]
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Did you see him going up and down on that ramp? Wasn't it great?!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png He literally jumped a shark, Dad. My childhood is over.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It was good while it lasted...
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I guess now all we'll care about are consumer reports, keeping our sneakers really clean, and which fruits are in season.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Poorly Working Title Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Poorly Working Title Pt. 4:
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png It's four o'clock, I don't know what to do with myself. Usually I'd be watching Itchy and Scratchy right now.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Stupid Poochie ruined everything, with his lame backwards hat, and his in-fashion-again leather jacket, and his jump-cut editing.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png He's so dumb. Hey, what if we watched his show just to goof on it!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Yeah, we can scoff at all the parts where he does stuff that's so stupid it's actually enjoyable, but we'll feel smart because we know it's lame.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png And we'll stay tuned for all the commercial breaks!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Yeah, in case those are stupid too!
Task: Make Youngsters Watch Poochie Ironically [x5] (4h, Brown House)
Task: Collect Poochie Scripts [x500]
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Oh man, so dumb. I can't wait to bash it at school tomorrow.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I'm gonna break it down beat by beat and mock it as if it were literature!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ah-ha! So you do like it after all!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png We're watching it ironically.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png We were laughing at the parts you're not supposed to laugh at.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png But you were still laughing and enjoying yourselves, right?
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Yes. Ironically.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png ...?
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Poorly Working Title Pt. 6[edit]

After completing Poorly Working Title Pt. 5:
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png Great work, Homer. The numbers are through the roof!
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Today's show had the most viewers since that episode where I accidentally aided, abetted and then interviewed El Chapo.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Are we sure our viewers are laughing at the right stuff though?
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png They could be crying for all I care, as long as they don't change the channel! Now what ideas do ya got for the next episode?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Um, okay, what if Poochie stole a car, but it turned out to be an Uber, so he had to keep picking people up.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png *laughs* That's funny.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Wait, are you ACTUALLY laughing, or are you laughing at the idea that I pitched it with the intention of making you laugh?
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png Enough with the philosophy lesson, just get Poochie in the car and make with the silly taxi rides!
Task: Make Homer Fret Over What People Are Laughing at (4h, Simpson House)
Task: Make Poochie Pretend to Be in a Car Chase (8h, Brown House or Poochie's Car)
Task: Make Youngsters Ironically Watch Poochie [x5] (4h, Brown House)
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Well? What'd you kids think?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It was actually pretty funny.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png The parts that were supposed to make us laugh made us laugh.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Phew!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Which makes it lame.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png No one likes a lame thing that knows it's lame. That'd be like if Tim Allen started mocking himself.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Yeah, the smugness factor for us is gone. You screwed up, Dad -- you made the show sorta okay.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png ...
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Poorly Working Title Pt. 7[edit]

After completing Poorly Working Title Pt. 6:
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png Have you seen the numbers, Homer? It's not looking good for our old friend Poochie.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Or for you -- you're fired.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Are you firing me "ironically"?
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png No.
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png Also, you never signed your contract, so you're not getting paid. That's sorta ironic.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png It is??
Tapped Out Roger Myers Jr. Icon.png No. It's just stupid. Now get out.
Task: Make Homer Openly Weep Into a Bowl of Popcorn (4h, Simpson House)
Task: Make Youngsters Watch Itchy & Scratchy Sincerely [x5] (4h, Brown House)
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Well, it was fun while it lasted.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Except all the tons of hard work I had to do and the gut-wrenching stress of wondering if people legitimately liked it.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png What'll happen to you, Poochie? Will they ship you back to your home planet?
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png No, I'll just stick around here. This planet's actually pretty cool... NOT!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png *wipes away tear* Never gets old.
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Recycling to the EXTREME![edit]

Recycling to the EXTREME! Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Poochie's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Wazzzzap?! How's it hanging Itchy & Scratchy?
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png You dudemeisters wanna shred some gnarly waves?
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
That sounds...um, totally tubular, but we were just about to rehearse a scene...
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png How do you rehearse a scene where Itchy douses you in acid?
Tapped Out Itchy Icon.png
We're, uh, method actors.
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Too busy to put your life on hold to admire your best bro?! I see how it is...NOT!
Task: Make Poochie Pout Like a Too Cool for School Teen (4h, Brown House)
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png I guess now you want me to get off your set so you can do your "actor" thang!
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Must be nice not to be canceled. Not like I care. *barking laugh*
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
Aw. Don't give up, Poochie! I'm sure you'll be back on TV soon.
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png You're right! Once I'm back on, my new show will make yours look like it's for babies. Uncool babies!
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Poochie out! *nunchuck drop*
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Recycling to the EXTREME! Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Recycling to the EXTREME! Pt. 1:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Bart, bring me another beer.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I'll get it!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Why're you so eager to enable Dad?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Because I'm making a fortune returning his empty cans to the recycling center -- five cents a pop.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I can see how that could add up.
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png They give you money just to throw these cans away?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It's not just throwing them away, it's recycling. They take the cans and melt them down and make new things out of them.
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png So they take an old useless thing and mold it into something new and cool, huh? Tell me more...
Task: Make Lisa Explain Recycling to Poochie (4h, Simpson House)
Task: Make Poochie Daydream About His TV Comeback (4h, Simpson House)
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png "Poochie Saves the Planet"! Just the kind of publicity I need to reboot my image and get back on TV.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png So this is all just a ploy to fulfill your own goals?
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Of course! Is that a problem?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Not at all, as long as it gets people to recycle more! I mean, why do I do it? Smug satisfaction isn't that different than wanting to be on TV.
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Do you think my catch phrase should be "Bro, do you even recycle?" or "Recycling stinks, just do it!".
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Recycling to the EXTREME! Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Poochie's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png What's shaking, kids? It's ya boy, Poochie, and I'm here to teach you about recycling!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Why does he think we don't know what recycling is?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png It's really not that complicated. You put the empty can in the recycling bin. That's it!
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png I know what'll convince you Poochie is always in your COURT -- an edgy yet educational rap interlude while I dunk a basketball!
Task: Make Poochie Dunk a Basketball (4h, Bicycle Basketball Ramp)
On job start:
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png My name's Poochie D and I'm here to say…
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png That it's a good rule of thumb to start your raps this way…
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Let ‘em know who you are, and what you're gonna do…
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png That way there's no confusion when the song is through!
On job end:
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png See kids, Poochie knows how to get down. Word up!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png He looks like he's about to start rapping again. SCATTER!
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png P to the O to the O to the C...
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Why can't I ever get the kids to just like me?
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Recycling to the EXTREME! Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Poochie's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Give it to me straight fellas, how do you get the kids to like you so much?
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
Maybe if you try, you know...trying a little less hard the kids will come around.
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Me? Try hard?! I'm the king of not caring. I do everything I can to show how little I care.
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
Um...well, maybe do the opposite then?
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Great idea! I'll double down on recycling. Then they'll have to like me!
Task: Make Poochie Film a Recycling PSA (8h, Krustylu Studios or Brown House)
Task: Make Youngsters Rebel Against Recycling [x5] (8h, Businesses or Houses)
On Poochie's job start:
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png *dramatic voice* The earth stands on the brink of extinction. Landfills overflowing, pollution clogging the skies...
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Little Jenny meant to recycle her soda can, but she's still too young to read the signs...
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png She threw her future away with one mindless act, tossing that soda can straight into the trash.
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Don't be like Little Jenny, kids. Recycle before it's too...late. *softly cries*!
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png *triggers explosions*
On job end:
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Booyah! Thanks for having my back bros, showing everyone how much I could care felt really good.
Tapped Out Itchy Icon.png
Kids trashed the town.
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png What have I done?!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Recycling to the EXTREME! Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Recycling to the EXTREME! Pt. 4:
Tapped Out Helen Lovejoy Icon.png There he is, Chief Wiggum! The bad dog that convinced all the children littering was cool!
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png All right pup, come along quietly now...I find barking very jarring.
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png The fuzz! Nuh-uh man, I can't go to the pound. Time to bounce!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Wait! Poochie, where are you going? You left all this trash behind that I'll have to clean up if you don't...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png D'oh!
Task: Make Poochie Pretend to Be in a Car Chase (8h, Brown House or Poochie's Car)
Task: Make Homer Clean up Springfield (6s, Debris)
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png I think I lost them.
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Guess I'll go back to my home planet now.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Uh, Poochie, this is your home planet.
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png You're right, little girl. In a manner of speaking, it's EVERYONE'S home planet.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png No, it literally is.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Hold it right there, Poochie! I've got a whole slew of tickets with your name on ‘em -- littering, accessory to littering, and MURDER!
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Oh wait, that last one is also littering. You have thirty days to pay these off, now sign here.
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png Wait, you want my autograph?!
Tapped Out Poochie Icon.png I'm back!!!
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Premium Gameplay[edit]

Scratching the Seven Year Itch[edit]

Scratching the Seven Year Itch Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Mrs. Scratchy's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Happy anniversary, Scratchy. I made a special dinner, and maybe after we can get into some catnip.
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
It looks great, but I'm not really that hungry.
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
Itchy made me a pretty big lunch of carbolic acid, which is pretty filling, plus it dissolved my entire midsection...
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png It's always work, work, work with you, isn't it?!
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Well, work on this!
Task: Make Mrs. Scratchy Serve Scratchy a “Dynamite” Dessert (4h, Brown House)
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png I've had it with this marriage! I took our wedding vows seriously, but "till death do us part" never lasts long with you!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Scratching the Seven Year Itch Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Mrs. Scratchy's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Scratchy's such a jerk! First he doesn't eat my dinner, then he allows himself to be blown up!
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Well I'm not gonna sit around in a black veil waiting for him to come back to life!
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png I'm young, my whiskers aren't grey yet.
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png I'm getting on that new dating app called “Swiper”.
Task: Make Mrs. Scratchy Fill Out a Dating App Profile (4h, Brown House)
On job start:
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Okay, profile pictures: the only photos I have of myself are me holding a book I never read, at a concert of a band I don't like...
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png ...and one from three years ago that looks nothing like me. They're perfect!
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Interests: Food, travel, and living my best life!
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png ...unlike Scratchy.
On job end:
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Ooh, I already got some matches on my dating app!
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Fat Tony... maybe he means Cat Tony?
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Moleman... seems like a furry creature indeed...
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png And Bumblebee Man... no mistaking what his deal is -- a Mexican actor who dresses in a bee costume.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Scratching the Seven Year Itch Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Mrs. Scratchy's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png I'm so nervous, I haven't been on a first date since I met Scratchy.
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png It was so romantic. He took me to the purr-fect restaurant... picked up the “tabby”... used a bunch of cat-puns...
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png *flashback harp*
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png No, don't go into a flashback! Even on our first date, Itchy was the waiter and served him coq au BLAM and blew him up! It's time for me to move on.
Task: Make Mrs. Scratchy Go on a Bad Date [x3] (8h, Eatery or Bars)
On job 1st time started:
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png So, have you ever been on a date with a cartoon cat?!
Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon.png No, but I sold cartons of RAT milk to schoolchildren. Does that count for anything?
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png ...!
On job 2nd time started:
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png This is my first time using online dating. What about you?!
Tapped Out Hans Moleman Icon.png I've only used Swiper, Matchr, AlrightValentine, eChoir, FarmhandsExclusive, Swingin'Christian, and m-date -- an app for dating Moleman.
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png ...!
On job 3rd time started:
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png I don't know what I'm doing... I'm not cut out for the dating world. I've been a wife for too long...
Tapped Out Bumblebee Man Icon.png ...
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Sorry to go on and on... you're such a good listener.
Tapped Out Bumblebee Man Icon.png Que?
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Scratching the Seven Year Itch Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Mrs. Scratchy's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Is this what I have to look forward to? Meeting that string of weirdos has really helped me put my marriage in perspective.
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png So what if I'm a widow more often than a wife? At least I love my husband!
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png And it's really not Scratchy's fault.
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png He's just trying to make an honest living, but that horrible Itchy keeps making him an honest corpse!
Tapped Out Itchy Icon.png
Hi-ya, Mrs. Scratchy! Looks like Scratchy's still in cat-heaven, so I'll come back later.
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Not so fast, you murderous mouse!
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png You and I need to have a heart to heart -- if you don't lay off my husband a little, I'm going to chop you in half and make your heart TWO hearts!
Task: Make Mrs. Scratchy Scratch Out Her Itchy Aggression (8h)
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Have I made myself clear?
Tapped Out Itchy Icon.png
Whatever you say! You're the boss!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Scratching the Seven Year Itch Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Mrs. Scratchy's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Scratchy? Oh good, you're waking up.
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
Hey honey, was I out for long? What did I miss?
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Nothing, I was just packing us a nice picnic. Let's go!
Task: Make Mrs. Scratchy Go on a Picnic (4h, Picnic Spot)
If the user has Scratchy: Task: Make Scratchy Go on a Picnic (4h, Picnic Spot)
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png *happy sigh* Thanks for making this such a special day, sweetheart.
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
It was wonderful! I can't remember the last time I felt so relaxed.
Tapped Out Mrs. Sdratchy Icon.png Alright, he's all yours, Itchy.
Tapped Out Itchy Icon.png
Picnic much more fun with flesh-eating ants!
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
*screams*
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

For Real, Roy?[edit]

For Real, Roy? Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Roy's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png They're really scraping the bottom of the barrel for new characters in this game. Wonder who the next nobody will be.
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png Hey, Bart-man! I'm sure the next new character they unlock will be totally far-out and hip!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Roy's right, Bart. I bet they'll even have a catchphrase.
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png Pow-bazow, Mrs. S., pow-bazow. Well, until the next new character is unlocked, I guess I'll continue filming my reality show “Roy Will Be Roy”!
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png Everyone smile for the cameras!
Task: Make Roy Mug for the Cameras (4h, Simpson House)
Task: Make the Simpsons Look Blankly Straight Into the Cameras [x5] (4h, Simpson House)
Characters: Marge, Homer, Bart, Lisa, Maggie
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png What's gotten into you guys? You're usually so natural and effortlessly hilarious!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I am acting in a perfectly normal manner, much in the way that I always do. D... oh.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png It's kind of hard to act normal when they keep hitting my hair with the boom mic.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png In their defense, Mom, the boom guy had to stand on another guy's shoulders.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

For Real, Roy? Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Roy's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png I don't know, Roy, this whole “reality TV” thing seems a little out there, and, dare I say, desperate?
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png Whoa, whoa, whoa! Save it for the confessional, Mrs. S!
Task: Make Roy Tape a Confessional (4h, Simpson House)
Task: Make the Simpsons Tape Confessionals [x5] (4h, Simpson House)
Characters: Marge, Homer, Bart, Lisa, Maggie
On Simpsons' job start:
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png I don't know if my family's going to be any good at this... I've always taught them not to speak ill of others.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Don't get me started on Flanders! Does he really have to rhyme all the time?!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Oh no, I'm doing it too! I'm screwed!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Interviews are for suckers, man. Unless you want to film me hocking loogies off the overpass... no?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I am so annoyed...
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png ...that everyone expects me to be anti-everything. I like reality TV! Especially the sassy ladies of “The Real Home Wives of Ogdenville”. It's great!
On Roy's job started:
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png I'm really sick of Mrs. S. trying to express her feelings about people to their faces...
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png ...instead of behind their back to the camera for all the world to see. Who does that?!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

For Real, Roy? Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Roy's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png Thanks for trying S. family, but the show's still feeling a little flat...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Sorry, Roy. I guess our family's just too perfect for reality TV.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Bart, get your old man a beer, and grab one for yourself, why don'tcha?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png If I've learned anything from watching Real Home Wives, it's that every good show has a great villain!
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png What do you mean?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Are you really that dumb?!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Lisa! Don't talk to Roy like that!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png No, Mom, I'm teaching him how to be a villain for the show! You blue-haired bozo.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Was that for the show too?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Sure...
Task: Make Roy Pick an Over the Top Fight (8h)
On job start:
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png Hey man, why you looking at my lady?!
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Smithers, is this young hoodlum addressing me?
Tapped Out Smithers Icon.png Don't worry, Mr. Burns. I'll defend your honor.
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png Whoa, wait man! I was just trying to fight the old guy.
On job end:
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png *groans of pain*
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Excellent work, Smithers. I daresay this rapscallion will think twice before issuing me any more challenges.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Wow, Roy, you took quite a beating! It came out great on camera!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Unfortunately, Smithers was singing LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out” as he was pummeling you and we can't clear the song, so the footage is useless.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

For Real, Roy? Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Roy's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png I think I have to retire from the reality TV business, I had no idea it could be so dangerous!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Nonsense. There are as many types of reality TV as there are flavors of ice cream...*mmmm* ice cream.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png We just have to find a type of show that's a better fit for you. How about a dating show?!
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png Like one where I date a bunch of ladies who are super into me even though I don't have a job?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Right! We'll tell them you're in "real estate”, and at the end you'll get married after knowing each other for two weeks!
Task: Make Roy Try to Romance the Ladies (4h)
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png I don't get it, why wouldn't any of those ladies accept a rose from me?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png You know, when a whole bunch of women with their own unique thoughts and opinions all don't want to date you, I say...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png It's them, not you! Here, have some ice cream.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

For Real, Roy? Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Roy's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png So Marge, in this scene Roy is going to grab your butt, then I'll walk in and accuse you of cheating.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Homer, I really wish you would stop suggesting scenarios where your friends try to grab my butt.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png And I don't have time for the show right now, I need to take care of the kids.
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png Plus, you should really get your hair done before you go on camera again. No offense, no offense.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png That's it! I've had it with you two!
Task: Make Roy Hide From Marge (8h, Businesses, Homes or Bars)
Task: Make Homer Hide From Marge (8h, Businesses, Homes or Bars
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Calm down, Marge. He said no offense, that means you can't get offended.
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png That was great, Mrs. S. The camera loves you, you're the show's new star!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Me, a star? That makes me so happy!
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png Annnnd you ruined it. No one likes a happy, well-adjusted reality star.
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png The show's over, which means Roy's movin' out!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png You moving in with some sexy babes?!
Tapped Out Roy Icon.png No, with my mom and step-dad...
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

A Tough Nut to Crack[edit]

A Tough Nut to Crack Pt. 1[edit]

After unlocking Disapproving Squirrel:
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Homer, what happened to your head?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Oh, it's nothing. Maggie dropped a bowling ball on my head.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png What?!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png It was an accident -- it rolled off the shelf. I mean, Maggie had to take it out of the bag and push it, but I blame the laws of gravity.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png This was no accident! Bringing all these cartoon characters to life is a bad influence on the kids!
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Don't you worry, Marge. I'm way ahead of you on this and I have the perfect solution.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png You're going to get rid of the cartoons you brought to life?
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Don't be SILLY. I'm going to bring another character to life: Disapproving Squirrel!
Task: Make Disapproving Squirrel Silently Judge Springfielders (1h, Homes)
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png See? Disapproving Squirrel's not very funny, or friendly, but she proves you don't have to be violent just because you're a cartoon.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png And she kept everyone on their best behavior.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Yes, in many ways, the judgmental stare is even more cutting than an axe to the cabeza, as it were.
Tapped Out Disapproving Squirrel Icon.png ...!
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png See what I mean?
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

A Tough Nut to Crack Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Disapproving Squirrel's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Itchy Icon.png
Hey Scratchy, now that I've fed your eyeballs to that bird, you're... EAGLEY blind!
Tapped Out Disapproving Squirrel Icon.png Don't do that!
Tapped Out Itchy Icon.png
But that's in the script.
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
Believe me I don't like it either, but we're professionals.
Tapped Out Disapproving Squirrel Icon.png No, no, no! No more violence!
Tapped Out Itchy Icon.png
Step aside, squirrel, we've got a very important job to do. Now where's my mallet so I can play croquet with Scratchy's eyes.
Task: Make Disapproving Squirrel Picket Disapprovingly (4h)
Tapped Out Itchy Icon.png
You ruined the scene!
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
And you scared away the eagle. Now I'm never gonna find my eyes!
Tapped Out Disapproving Squirrel Icon.png No! No violence!
Tapped Out Itchy Icon.png
Cartoons with no violence are no fun! I'm gonna go stab ketchup bottles in my trailer and pretend it's blood.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

A Tough Nut to Crack Pt. 3[edit]

After completing A Tough Nut to Crack Pt. 2:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png *groans* These new Itchy & Scratchy cartoons are boring! Where's Itchy?!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png That Disapproving Squirrel isn't that bad, is she?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png She's worse than Poochie! All she does is scold Scratchy to balance his check book and clean the lint out of his dryer...
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Why does a cat have a dryer?!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I don't know, it is kind of funny to see her boss Scratchy around like that.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png See? She doesn't ruin the show.
Task: Make Disapproving Squirrel Ruin the Itchy & Scratchy Show (4h, Krustylu Studios or Brown House)
On job start:
Tapped Out Disapproving Squirrel Icon.png Your sock drawer is a mess, Scratchy!
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
I don't wear socks.
Tapped Out Disapproving Squirrel Icon.png Before you go out to play, I want you to iron and fold every pair, twice.
Tapped Out Disapproving Squirrel Icon.png A well-starched pair of socks is a step in the right direction.
Tapped Out Scratchy Icon.png
*laughs* ...That was a cue for me to laugh at your joke, right?
Tapped Out Disapproving Squirrel Icon.png Less laughing, more starching!
On job end:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Well, that didn't take long. How many times can one show get ruined?
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png It was funny when she made him iron his socks at least.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png *gasp* I was hoping a good role model would help you shape up, not turn you into a completely different person.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png That squirrel has got to go before you turn into *shudder* the Flanders kids!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

A Tough Nut to Crack Pt. 4[edit]

After completing A Tough Nut to Crack Pt. 3:
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Order! We've had a number of complaints about this "Disapproving Squirrel”. All from the same person: Marge Simpson.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png I don't like the way that squirrel is making my kids act!
Tapped Out Helen Lovejoy Icon.png Really now Marge, I would have thought you'd be in favor of Disapproving Squirrel. The two of you could practically be twins.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png What? We have nothing in common.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png You do sorta have the same hair, and make the same face when you scold me.
Tapped Out Disapproving Squirrel Icon.png Don't do that!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png *chuckles* See? I almost kissed the squirrel thinking it was you! Do it again!
Task: Make Disapproving Squirrel Imitate Marge (4h, Town Hall or Brown House)
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Yes, I can, er, really see the resemblance. I don't know whose vote to solicit.
Tapped Out Artie Icon.png Is that squirrel single??
Tapped Out Dr. Hibbert Icon.png *holds up x-rays* Even the bone structure is the same!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png That squirrel and I are nothing alike! I'll prove it to you.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

A Tough Nut to Crack Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Disapproving Squirrel's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Disapproving Squirrel Icon.png Don't do that! Don't do that!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png No YOU don't do that! Don't tell me what to do!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Is this really what everyone thinks I'm like when I give them sensible advice?
Tapped Out Disapproving Squirrel Icon.png Don't do that!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png I am NOT some ridiculous, killjoy nag. And my hair looks nothing like yours!
Tapped Out Disapproving Squirrel Icon.png Your hair is the only thing about you I don't disapprove of.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png That does it! I won't be mocked by some demented cartoon. Get out! GET OUT!
Task: Make Disapproving Squirrel Get Chased Away by Marge (8h, Marge)
Note: The quest is bugged as it requires Family Fun Pt.1 to start Marge's job, a quest introduced in the Moe's Ark update.
Tapped Out Disapproving Squirrel Icon.png I don't need any of you! You're all beneath me, you don't even deserve my scorn.
Tapped Out Selma Icon.png Now there's a girl after my own heart. *smoker's cough*
Tapped Out Patty Icon.png I agree. How would you like a job over at the DMV? Best place in town to judge all the nuts.
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

The Reality Channel[edit]

After building The Reality Channel:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ooh, The Reality Channel! What better way to experience reality than by watching TV?
Tapped Out Duffman TV Icon.png Yes Guy and I have the best idea ever for a reality show!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png What is this crap?! A reality show about pitching reality shows?!
Task: Make Homer Try to Change the Channel (4h, The Reality Channel)
If the user has Duffman: Task: Make Duffman Pitch a Reality TV Show (4h, The Reality Channel)
On job start:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Can't change channel... show... too... stupid... and... enjoyable...
Tapped Out The Yes Guy TV Icon.png Our reality show is so brilliant, you'll forget all about my freakish face and obnoxious voice!
Tapped Out Duffman TV Icon.png Watch as contestants pitch us ideas for inventions and we decide whether to say YES and invest in them!
Tapped Out The Yes Guy TV Icon.png It's "Predatory Fish Aquarium"!
On job end:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hey, that stupid show I hate isn't on! What gives?!
Tapped Out The Yes Guy Icon.png We went broke. We were using our own money for the show's investments.
Tapped Out Duffman Icon.png Oh yeah! And would you have guessed we wouldn't be able to say NO to any of the inventions?
Tapped Out The Yes Guy Icon.png Yeeee-- no, I really thought we could be objective... We're ruined!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Fireworks Factory[edit]

After building Fireworks Factory:
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Bart, come quick! They just built a Fireworks Factory!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Seen a lot of factories, Milhouse.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Yeah, I guess an abandoned factory isn't that cool...
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Abandoned?! Why didn't you say so?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png I thought the exciting part was the fireworks.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png The word “abandoned” makes everything cooler: abandoned mine shafts, driving with reckless abandon... Let's check it out!
Task: Make Bart Set Off Fireworks in Fireworks Factory (4h, Fireworks Factory)
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Whoa! That was a ton of fireworks!
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png I still don't see why I couldn't go in with you...
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Because if you were in there with me, it wouldn't be ABANDONED anymore. And that would take away all the fun.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png So you're saying I'm the reason it was so cool???
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Yeah, sure... definitely didn't have anything to do with the awesome explosions.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Wow, I helped fulfill a criteria for Bart to be able to have fun!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10