The Simpsons: Tapped Out Itchy & Scratchy Land content update/Prizes and Craftable Gameplay

Itchy and Scratchy Helicopter

After unlocking Itchy and Scratchy Helicopter: Come on, Mom! Let's tour the park aboard the Itchy & Scratchy Helicopter! I don't know...some of those decorations seem slapped on without regard to aerodynamics. Aerody-what-ics? What a funny word! Did you just make that up? Must...abandon ship...seatbelt...won't unbuckle... Task: Tap the Itchy & Scratchy Helicopter That was definitely my last helicopter ride. And my first! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Roger Meyers Sr. Statue

After unlocking Roger Meyers Sr. Statue: The Roger Meyers Sr. Statue celebrates the life of America's most lovable entertainer. Lovable? Many of his movies used racial stereotypes for comic relief. And there was his collaboration with the House Un-American Activities Committee. Not to mention his relentless union-busting, which to this day leaves animators woefully underpaid for their work. ... Okay, take down the statue! No, no, leave it up. I'm just saying...

Making Frenemies and Inconveniencing People

Making Frenemies and Inconveniencing People Pt. 1

After tapping on Diane's exclamation mark: My job title may say I'm a network programming executive, but really, I'm the head of a family. I surround myself with extraordinary minds. Doers. People who actualize what others only ideate. And, most importantly, people who I can stick the blame on when our ratings are in the toilet. NO ONE thinks firing people isn't fun, but firing family? There's nothing quite like it. Task: Make Diane Go on a Firing Spree (8h) And...the town's unemployment rate creeps over 30%. Wonderful. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Making Frenemies and Inconveniencing People Pt. 2

After tapping on Diane's exclamation mark: Ahhhh...I love that post-firing-spree glow. Colors just seem brighter after you've crushed dreams. You ARE planning on filling those vacancies with other Springfielders, correct? Of course! But first, I have a drinks meeting scheduled with some of my subordinates. ...who you just fired... When you love meetings as much as I do, it doesn't even matter if you're alone. Task: Build Moe's Tavern Task: Make Diane Enjoy Cocktail Hour (4h, Moe's Tavern or Brown House) Eww. I thought I ordered a Manhattan. They have watered-down ethanol in Manhattan! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Making Frenemies and Inconveniencing People Pt. 3

After tapping on Diane's exclamation mark: A successful TV executive is ALWAYS on the hunt for original show ideas. Sometimes you'll be tempted to copy an idea from another network, and give it a twist. But that's a fool's errand: if the idea works, it doesn't NEED a twist. Duh! Just change the title, cast Matthew Perry in it, and you're good to go! Task: Make Diane Come up With "Original" Programming (4h) This fall, Matthew Perry IS... Danny Storm, Uncle of Dragons, in... "Contest of Chairs!" Genius! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Making Frenemies and Inconveniencing People Pt. 4

After tapping on Diane's exclamation mark: Now that I've created a sure-fire hit, it's time to hire some folks to blame it on when it bombs. Yes, good! New jobs I can take credit for creating! I need highly-qualified fall guys. Lady, that's all we got. Task: Make Diane Host Interviews (4h, Itchy & Scratchy Land Gate or Brown House) Task: Make Springfielders Apply for Jobs [x5] (4h, Itchy & Scratchy Land Gate or Brown House) Homer, why should I hire you for this job? Because this is one of only three jobs I've never had before. The others being lead gaffer and Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. Are you plugged in to the zeitgeist? How "up" are you on pop culture? Hmmm... I'd have to say "extremely". Quest reward: 100 and 10

Making Frenemies and Inconveniencing People Pt. 5

After tapping on Diane's exclamation mark: So Mr. Simpson, let me explain your responsibilities as my new V.P. of Current Programming. Oh, I wouldn't bother. How do you expect to do your job if you don't know what it is? I don't expect to do it at all. But don't worry. I always end up in the middle of the action. Often for really half-baked reasons. It's called lazy writing, and it seems to work to my benefit. Task: Make Homer Be in the Thick of Things, Somehow (4h, Itchy & Scratchy Land Gate or Brown House) Homer, you're fired. 'Bout time, idiot! Quest reward: 200 and 20

I'm Also Named Bort

I'm Also Named Bort Pt. 1

After tapping on Bort's exclamation mark: Look, Mommy! The gift shop has license plates with MY name on them! Can I have a "Bort" license plate, Mommy? Mommy? Where'd you go, Mommy? Task: Make Bort Cry for Mommy (4h, Shop) Hey, why are you crying, kid? I've lost my Mommy. And I really want her to buy me a Bort license plate. Yeah, you almost never see those in stock. There are so many people named Bort these days. Quest reward: 100 and 10

I'm Also Named Bort Pt. 2

After tapping on Milhouse's exclamation mark: Did you say your name is "Bort"? That's funny, because my best friend is named Bart. "Bart"? Is that even a real name? I 'unno. I'll admit, "Bort" seems like a hipper, fresher take on the whole "B*rt" genre. Maybe if we shop for Bort merch together, people will think I'm a Bort, too. I'd like that. Do you think your friend Bart will be jealous? Who? Oh, that guy. Ever since I met you, Bort, I'd kinda forgotten all about him. Task: Make Bort Get Bort Merch (4h, Shops) On job start: Dang it! They got a new shipment of "Bort" mugs in this morning, and they're already sold out. Kids, be careful. With all these Borts around and no Bort merch, we could be looking at a riot. We just can't keep up with the demand. Build another factory in China. Tell them to make nothing but Bort merch, twenty-four seven. Quest reward: 100 and 10

I'm Also Named Bort Pt. 3

After tapping on Milhouse's exclamation mark: Bart, meet Bort. "Bort"? Did the nurse misspell your name on the birth certificate? Bort is the single most popular boy's name in America. And the third most popular girl's name. Want proof? I've got tons of stuff with my name on it. Task: Make Bort Proudly Display Bort Merch (4h) On job start: If Bort is so popular, name me ONE famous Bort. Okay... there's Packers legend Bort Starr, gymnast Bort Conner, linebacker Bort Scott... Those are all Barts! They WERE. But when Bort totally blew up, they all had their names legally changed. Get with the times, man. Quest reward: 100 and 10

I'm Also Named Bort Pt. 4

After tapping on Willie's exclamation mark: Somebody burned the word "Bort" into the school lawn! There's "El Borto Was Here" graffiti all over town! Do you know how many Borts there are in Springfield? It could be any one of thousands of suspects! See, Bart? Your time is past. The Age of Bort is here! Task: Make Bort Throw His Name Around (1h) There never has been, and never will be, anyone named "Bort". Actually, as of this morning, Seymour Skinner is no more. Call me Bort. And me! And me. Obviously, that means I'm going with Bort as well. Quest reward: 100 and 10

I'm Also Named Bort Pt. 5

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark: Okay, fine! I'm a dinosaur! A relic of a Bart-friendly world that no longer exists. Don't feel too bad, Bart. You never really had a chance. Not when there's a name out there that's as beautiful, as evocative, as "Bort". Task: Make Bort Hug Bart (1h, Simpson Home, Bart) On job start: Simpson, get your hands off Bort. Whatever you say, Bort. Bort? Oh, yes, I was briefly named Bort. But that name is soooo uncool now. Now everyone's going with Birt. Bort is uncool? On job end: Blow up the "Bort" factory and open two new ones dedicated to the hottest license plate name out there, Birt. I can't believe it. The Age of Bort is over. Well, you made the most of it: you were a real jerk while you could be. I respect that. I just met this AWESOME kid named Birt. He's so freaking cool. Later, losers! Quest reward: 200 and 20

Child Care Center

After building Child Care Center: Ball pit! Let's do it! *suck* *suck* Homer, there's a sign on the wall which reads: "CHILDREN ONLY". Which you've just removed... Wee-hee! Task: Make Homer Test Ball Room in Child Care Center (4h, Child Care Center) Quest reward: 100 and 10

Comedic and Unusual Punishment

Comedic and Unusual Punishment Pt. 1

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark: SIR! YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, SIR? Corporal, I like you. You work cheap. More importantly, you don't seem to REALIZE you work cheap. I want you to be my new sidekick. WOULD THE CLOWN LIKE ME TO "ELIMINATE" SIDESHOW MEL? Ew, no. Not yet, anyway. Maybe later. Almost certainly later. Anyway, let's see a smile there, soldier. Task: Make Corporal Punishment Struggle to Smile (4h, Krustylu Studios or Brown House) On job start: Oh God, that was horrifying! Why did I hear creaking and popping noises when you tried to smile? SIR, I HAVE NEVER USED MY SMILING MUSCLES BEFORE, SIR! Can we turn down the volume, please? Sir, yes, sir. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Comedic and Unusual Punishment Pt. 2

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark: You've obviously forgotten what it's like to be a kid. Let's practice. Play with these hand puppets. How shall I play with the puppets, sir? Just make up a scene: a tea party, a ball game, or a silly cowboy adventure! Making up scene now, sir. "Captain Puppet, sir! The Nazis have broken through our lines! They're using some kind of chemical weapon!" "It's eating my skin! Auugghh! Auuugghhhh! Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!" ... Task: Make Corporal Punishment Play With Hand Puppets (4h, Krustylu Studios or Brown House) "Dead. All dead. These men were the only family I've ever known, and those Nazi SCUM took them from me." "I want BLOOD." Am I playing with puppets correctly, sir? Sure. The kids in my audience love stories about the horror and futility of war. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Comedic and Unusual Punishment Pt. 3

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark: I'll make you an entertainer yet, Corporal. Let's try some stand-up comedy. Every great stand-up has a funny stage persona. What do you think your persona should be? Humorless giant who considers comedy a waste of time? Well, I haven't seen it before... Task: Make Corporal Punishment Practice Stand-up Comedy (8h, Visible or Visible at Krustylu Studios) On job start: I gotta tell ya, the fastest way to clear a village of armed insurgents is to ask them to take a BATH. That, or call in a coordinated strike of Boeing AH-64 Apache ATTACK HELICOPTERS. Ughhhhh... Quest reward: 100 and 10

Comedic and Unusual Punishment Pt. 4

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark: You're the worst stand-up I've ever seen. You've got no talent, no material, and no timing. As far as I can see, there's no aspect of entertainment you do well. Which makes you the perfect clown. Trust me on this. Task: Make Corporal Punishment Try to Clown Around (8h) Clowning mission successful, commander. All japes and gags present and accounted for. Actually, that was pretty good. Which makes you a threat to me. If you ever pick up a pie again, you're fired. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Comedic and Unusual Punishment Pt. 5

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark: I've got it! You're not funny, Corporal, but you ARE funny-looking. Sir, thank you, sir! Imagine a hunk of vibranium like you petting an adorable little kitten, and saying: "I wuv my wittle kitty." It'll kill! My mission is to kill a kitten? No, that's probably a downer. Let's try it first without the killing. Task: Make Corporal Punishment Cuddle a Kitten (2h, Krustylu Studios or Brown House) I wuv my wittle kitty. Aww, the kids love you! I'm a genius! When do I terminate the kitten? Never! Never kill a bit that's working. Just keep doing it over and over, for years, and years, and years... Quest reward: 200 and 20

Roller Coaster Weirdos

After placing Roller Coaster Weirdos: Task: Tap Roller Coaster Weirdos Quest reward: 100 and 10