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The Simpsons: Tapped Out A Simpsons Christmas Special content update/'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Gameplay

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Gameplay[edit]

Christmas is Canceled Intro[edit]

After the user logs in on December 5th:
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Homer! The Krusty Kristmas Special is starting, and we can't get the new TV to work.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Switch to HDMI 2. Or HDMI 5. It's one of those.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png We tried both! You set up the TV wrong, genius.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Aren't you kids supposed to be good with technology? That's the whole point of us making you.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png This TV uses apps, right? Maybe if I download one...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png For the love of God, don't!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png "Downloading. Time remaining: one hour, fifty-three minutes."Ew, boy.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Homer set up the Internet wrong.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png It's not my fault! I never asked to live in a smart home, surrounded by a million fragile devices I can't, and/or won't, learn to set up.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Well, who needs TV? Maybe we can sit around and tell each other Christmas stories.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png ...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Let's try HDMI 4. That might work...
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Who wants to go first?
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Christmas is Canceled Pt. 1[edit]

After completing Christmas is Canceled Intro:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Once there was an old billionaire who loved nothing but money, and thought Christmas was a humbug.
Task: Make Lisa Tell a Cliché Story (6s, Simpson House)
On job start:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Wait. Is this a take on "A Christmas Carol"?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Well, I'm going to update it. I'll make Mr. Burns the lead, and have all the ghosts and side characters played by Springfield regulars.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Lisa, sweetie, if Daddy has to sit through one more adaptation of "A Christmas Carol", Daddy will blow his brains all over the wall.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png You don't want that for Daddy, do you?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Not really, no.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Then let's all agree, as a society, that "A Christmas Carol" is a lemon that's been squeezed dry.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png It's given up everything it has to offer, and should be fed into the disposal and obliterated from memory.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Fine. I'll tell a different story.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Atta girl. And just a warning: at the mention of ghost one, or anything resembling a Tiny Tim, I run screaming from the room. 'Kay? Great.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Intro[edit]

After completing Christmas is Canceled Pt. 1:
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png This afternoon we will hold auditions for our annual Christmas Pageant! See you there, budding thespians!
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png As participation is mandatory for all students, we will see you bullies, jocks, and burnouts there, too.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Excuse me, Principal Skinner, but-
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png You object to the word "Christmas" because of its exclusionary religious connotations? Very well. We'll call it the "Holiday Pageant".
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Great. But--
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png The word "Pageant" evokes beauty pageants, which are sexist and outdated? Fine. Then we'll call it the "Holiday Thing".
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You fold pretty quick in the face of controversy, huh?
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png It's my main qualification for this job.
Task: Make Lisa Audition for the Holiday Thing (4h, Springfield Elementary or Brown House)
Task: Make Milhouse Audition for the Holiday Thing (4h, Springfield Elementary or Brown House)
If the user Ralph: Task: Make Ralph Audition for the Holiday Thing (4h, Springfield Elementary or Brown House)
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png The cast list will be posted later today. Your part will be assigned according to the degree of stink your parents will raise if you have few lines.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hello, sir. I am the handyman you hired to build your outdoor stage. My name is Roger.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Roger? I want a cool name!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Like I said, my name is Jackhammer Machinegun.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png What a very cool name. So have you finished building the stage?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png No. Instead of doing my actual job, I became a snow plow driver, or an astronaut, or something. Happens all the time.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Plus I lost the money you gave me for supplies.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Mr. Machinegun, how could you! The Holiday Thing is ruined!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 1[edit]

After completing 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Intro:
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Children, the play is canceled. We have no stage. And if I'm being honest, we never really found our Petey the Reluctant Elf, either.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png I'm doing the best I can. Petey is a complex character!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png We can't give up! If we need more money to finish the stage, there must be a way to get it!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Maybe we could hold a fundraiser. A winter carnival!
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Good thinking, Lisa! You truly are the hero of this story that you made up yourself.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Now go fold some programs while I ponder Lisa's amazing idea!
If the user has Skinner: Task: Make Skinner Brainstorm Moneymaking Schemes (4h, Springfield Elementary or Brown House)
Task: Make Homer Use a Saw Like a Hammer (4h, Springfield Elementary or Brown House)
Task: Collect Programs [x100]
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Lisa, your upbeat problem-solving has truly saved the day. Hooray for Lisa!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Oh, come on. Is this whole story nothing more than a love letter to yourself?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It's my story, I'll tell it how I want.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Sweetie, your brother's right. For a story to be interesting, the hero needs to experience setbacks.
Tapped Out Maggie Icon.png *agreeing sucking noises*
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Well, I LIKE stories where I'm doing amazing things and everyone says how great I am.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png ...
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Fine. One setback, coming up.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 2[edit]

After completing 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 1:
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png I've found the perfect centerpiece for our winter carnival fundraiser -- a roasted chestnuts cart!
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Oh, how the children will line up for the earthy, mild flavor of warm chestnuts!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Uh, kids today don't really think of chestnuts as "yummy". Or even as "food".
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Nonsense! Chewy, nondescript chestnuts are the ultimate holiday treat!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png We could coat them in sugar, I guess. And serve them on a bed of sugar, with sugar sauce on the side...
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Fine. Yes. Do that. And ruin my delightfully bland chestnuts.
Task: Place Hot Roasted Chestnuts Cart [x3]
Task: Make Children Sell Chestnuts [x3] (4h, Hot Roasted Chestnuts Cart)
Task: Collect Programs [x300]
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png In a development no one could have possibly predicted, today's children have zero interest in hot chestnuts.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png ...
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png It's time to give the kids the Christmas treats they crave -- figgy pudding and steaming bowls of wassail.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Sir, that's a horrible idea.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png I've spent the last thirty Christmases alone with my elderly mother. I THINK I know what kids want!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 3[edit]

After completing 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 2:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Ralph, have you been working on your line for the play?
Tapped Out Ralph Icon.png I like pretending where I'm a Dracula driving a bulldozer.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Me too, Ralph. Me too. But in THIS play, you're playing a mouse, right? And when you come on stage, your line is...?
Tapped Out Ralph Icon.png "Hello! I have pointy teeth and a cape and have you seen my bulldozer?"
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Focus, Ralph! It's a very important line. You explain the true meaning of Christm-- I mean, the Holidays -- to everyone. Try again...
Tapped Out Ralph Icon.png "A robber who doesn't like Draculas stole my bulldozer and now I'm sad."
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Okay, everybody. Take five. I need to think. Let's all... ride the carousel... or something.
Task: Make Lisa Ride the Carousel (8h, Christmas Carousel)
If the user Ralph: Task: Make Ralph Ride the Carousel (8h, Christmas Carousel)
Task: Make Milhouse Ride the Carousel (8h, Christmas Carousel)
Task: Make Homer Ride the Carousel (8h, Christmas Carousel)
Task: Collect Programs [x300]
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png This whole play is riding on Ralph! If he doesn't explain the true meaning of the Holidays, it's ruined!
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png I'm confused. What exactly IS the meaning of the Holidays?
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png I mean, I get what Christmas is about. But "the Holidays" just seems kind of... nonspecific.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I've never been entirely clear on that, myself. Something about brotherhood and good will?
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png No, that's Christmas.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It can be the meaning of non-denominational, inoffensive pseudo-celebrations as well!
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png You know, we could just cancel the--
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png We're not canceling the Holiday Thing! The holidays aren't the same without the Thing!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Let's just do another dress rehearsal. I'm sure all our problems will be solved through some inexplicable, non-denominational holiday miracle.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 4[edit]

After completing 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 3:
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Behold! An angel has appeared to tell us all the meaning of the Holidays!
Tapped Out Angel Lisa Icon.png Lo! I bring tidings unto thee! But to clarify, I'm not comfortable with the word "angel". Think of me as a non-religious "spirit".
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png So... you're a g-g-g-g-ghost?!
Tapped Out Ralph Icon.png I'm a Dracula!
Tapped Out Angel Lisa Icon.png Forget it. Call me an angel if it's so important to you. Just shut up and harken to my stupid message of hope.
Task: Make Angel Lisa Give Proclamations on High (4h)
Task: Collect Programs [x300]
Tapped Out Angel Lisa Icon.png Hear me, Springfield! We celebrate the Holidays because on this day a child was born.
Tapped Out Angel Lisa Icon.png A child who, depending on your belief system, was either the son of God, or a prophet, or just a really nice guy.
Tapped Out Angel Lisa Icon.png And either to celebrate his birth, or because it's Hanukkah, or maybe the Winter Solstice is important to you, we should all be nice to one another right now.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png That's it! The angel has saved the play! She's a hero!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png She sure is! What a gal, reminds me of that amazing sister of mine!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Whoa, whoa! Hold on a minute. In what universe would I ever say anything nice about you?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Yeah, I'm not buying it, Lis.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It's my story! Let me tell it how I want.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Lisa, you can't just change an established character's personality whenever you want. It's sloppy writing.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png The point of the story is, a holiday miracle saved the play.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Phew. I am so relieved. I was really worried the boring children's play would have to be cancelled.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 5[edit]

After completing 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 4:
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Lisa, the play's message has been saved, and it's sure to be a colossal smash. But we still don't have a stage.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I'm working on it!
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Are you?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png No. But I AM swinging this hammer, which sure makes it LOOK like I'm working. To me, at least.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Lisa, we need more money, which necessitates a large Christmas Market, which you are now in charge of setting up.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Hah! That'll teach that do-gooder to do good!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png So Little Miss Perfect gets her comeuppance. I take back what I said, Lisa. This is a great story!
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png I know it's a lot to ask, but you ARE, strangely, the only character in this tale with any intelligence. So...
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png *sigh* Okay fine, I'll see what I can do.
Task: Place Fair Booth [x4]
Task: Make Lisa Setup Fair Booths (8h, Fair Booth)
If the user has Ralph and Milhouse: Task: Make Ralph Ride the Carousel (8h, Christmas Carousel)
If the user has Ralph and Milhouse: Task: Make Milhouse Ride the Carousel (8h, Christmas Carousel)
Task: Make Homer Ride the Carousel (8h, Christmas Carousel)
Task: Collect Programs [x300]
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Good news, I got the stage all fixed. I'll just be taking my last paycheck.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png He's lying! The stage has been fine all along, he's just been spending all our money on eggnog!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png *burp* I have no idea what he's *buuuurp* talking *buuuuuuuurp* about.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png The curtain goes up in five minutes, children. I hope you all remember your lines?
Tapped Out Ralph Icon.png Hello! I am not a Dracula, and I don't have a bulldozer!
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Better, Ralph. Still terrible, but better.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 6[edit]

After completing 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 5:
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Now Lisa, when we do our kiss scene, make sure you don't get TOO caught up in it, okay?
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Because I have a feeling I'm a really good kisser. That's what Puppy Goo Goo says.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png WHAT kiss scene? I'm playing a ballerina, and you're a soldier.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Love can blossom in the strangest places, huh?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png If you try to kiss me, I'll push you off the stage.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png How did you know that was one of my recurring nightmares?!
Task: Make Children Act in an Ensemble (12h, Pageant Stage)
Tapped Out Sideshow Mel Icon.png I declare Lisa's Holiday Thing the finest theatrical event ever!
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Thank you all for your three-hour-long standing ovation. We owe everything to Lisa Simpson! Let's hear it for her!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Boo! Boooooo!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Bart, be nice. The story's almost over. It IS almost over, isn't it, Lisa?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png No. Next, the play goes to Broadway, sweeps the Tonys and goes on tour.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png ...
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png ...but I guess we can safely skip that part.
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Christmas is Canceled Pt. 2[edit]

After completing 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas Pt. 6:
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png What a lovely, interesting, un-tedious story! Don't you agree, Homer?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png *banging on the TV* Work, damn you! Show me a show! I don't care which one! Anything is better than this family sharing and caring!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Homer!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png What? Oh, uh right. Loved your story, Lisa. Five stars. I laughed, I cried... I somehow got through it...
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I'm afraid Dad is right, Lisa. Your story was objectively awful. Christmas may never recover.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Like you could do better?
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Naturally. Because I know the three elements of a good story: action, violence, and mild cursing.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Gather round, chumps, as I spin a tale of such Christmas delight, you'll throw Lisa out on the street and forget she ever existed.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Hmm. I hope it's not THAT good.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10