Lisa Simpsons's Sure-Fine, All Purpose, Feeble Yet Effective, Excuses for Getting Out of Gym Class

Lisa Simpsons's Sure-Fine, All Purpose, Feeble Yet Effective, Excuses for Getting Out of Gym Class is a list over excuses for getting out of gym class by Lisa from The Lisa Book.

List

• I am suffering from Athlete's Block
• I left my defibrillator at home
• I'm a devout anti-recreationist
• My right Kidney is on the fritz
• I have an hangnail
• The gym is built on an ancient Indian burial ground
• My arches have fallen, and I can't get up
• I wish to exercise my right not to exercise
• My get up and go got up and went
• My therapist says getting picked last for teams has irreparably damaged my self-esteem
• My kneecap is swollen from my nightly prayers for more school gym funds
• The maharishi advises retreat from the physical world
• I threw my back out doing mental gymnastics
• I have Tennis Elbow, Swimmer's Ear, Housemaid's Knee, and Athlete's Foot
• The bench needs warming
• My religious beliefs do not permit me to engage in self-gratifying competition
• I can't afford to be smarter and in better shape than the rest of my family. I'll never hear the end of it
• When the going gets tough, I get tachycardia