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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Homer vs the 18th Amendment and "Homer is Where the Art Isn't" episode tie-in content update/Gameplay

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Gameplay

Pass, Puff, Puff

Pass, Puff, Puff Intro

After the user logs in on March 7th:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Dad, today's the day, you get to participate in our country's greatest tradition!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png An All-You-Can-Eat Buffet? But I didn't line my pockets with plastic bags.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png No, it's a chance to shape the democratic path of our nation. Contribute to the great American experiment. Sew your own mark in the tapestry that is our--
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Unsubscribe!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I'm not an email newsletter, Dad. I just want you to vote! Because, despite how many petitions I've sent to the Governor, I still legally can't.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I'll only vote if it's something I care about, like whether monkeys can drive taxis.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png It's about booze...
Task: Make Homer Vote on Proposition (6s, Town Hall)
Task: Make Springfielders Vote on Proposition [x5] (6s, Town Hall)
On job start:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Aw, man. The last time I pressed a green yes button, a scientist gave me a bit of cheese. This time all I got was this dumb sticker.
On job end:
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Now before I deposit this bag of green from Big Green, I, uh, hereby legalize recreational marijuana and ban all other inebriants!
Tapped Out Homer Icon - WooHoo.png Woohoo! Drinks on me!
Tapped Out Judge Snyder Icon.png You just voted a measure that bans alcohol, but legalizes marijuana.
Tapped Out Nelson Icon.png Haw haw! You just voted against your own interests.
Tapped Out Judge Snyder Icon.png The measure also banned condescending laughter.
Tapped Out Nelson Icon.png Haw wha?
Quest reward: XP.png10 and Free Land Token.png1

Pass, Puff, Puff Pt. 1

After completing Pass, Puff, Puff Intro:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png No alcohol? What will I live for?
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Your family?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png This isn't a time for jokes, Marge. St. Patrick's Day is right around the corner. And everyone knows, if you don't drink on St. Patrick's Day, leprechauns will stab you in your sleep.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png I don't think that's right.
Tapped Out Barney Icon.png Homer, the measure doesn't kick in until midnight. There's still time to stockpile! I for one won't be stabbed by those little lucky leps.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png To the Kwik-E-Mart!
Task: Make Homer Buyout Kwik-E-Mart Alcohol Stock (3h, Kwik-E-Mart)
Task: Collect Drinks [x240]
On job start:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I need all your alcohol, and I need it now.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png I always knew this day would come. Ever since I heard the news this morning.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png And when I say all the alcohol, that means rubbing alcohol, ethanol, and hand sanitizer.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pass, Puff, Puff Pt. 2

After completing Pass, Puff, Puff Pt. 1:
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png This Duff Puff takes years of use before I'll have trouble remembering! I need beer to forget my life right now!
Tapped Out Barney Icon - Drunk.png I can't switch intoxicants – I already built a whole lifestyle around booze! I've even got a catchphrase: *buuuuuurp*
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png And I don't like change. It's why I've haven't changed my shirt in thirty years.
Tapped Out Barney Icon.png Homer, will you sell me a beer? I'll pay top dollar for it.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Top dollar? I've only ever been offered bottom dollar, or middle at best. I'll do it!
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Guys. I'm standing right here. At least do something covert like, I don't know, say you're selling tickets to tour your house.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Yeah! Let's break the law the way the Chief of Police recommends!
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Some days you really feel like you're making a difference.
Task: Make Homer Sell Tours (3h, Simpson House)
Task: Collect Drinks [x420]
On job start:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png The first and last stop of my home tour – the basement! Please help yourself to some “refreshments”.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Did you fill the washing machine with beers? I still had clothes in there.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Free shirt with every purchase!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pass, Puff, Puff Pt. 3

After completing Pass, Puff, Puff Pt. 2:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Dad! Your “refreshments” are almost gone!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Sweetie, that's the same thing you said about the ozone layer. And yet here we are, totally fine, on another beautiful sweltering March day.
Tapped Out Barney Icon - Drunk.png Another three tours please!
Tapped Out Carl Icon - Drunk.png Yeah, tours all around!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hmm, not to worry - we'll just follow in the proud tradition of rum-runners, frat boys, and bored hipsters…
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Home Brew!
Task: Make Homer Brew Refreshments (3h, Simpson House)
Task: Collect Drinks [x420]
On job start:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png The first batch is done. It's an IPA – improvised potable ale substitute. The S is silent. Like the strangely still lab mice Lisa tested it on.
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Mmm, it's got a rich smoky flavor with herbal overtones.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Probably because I accidentally poured in grass trimmings and then it caught on fire.
Tapped Out Barney Icon - Drunk.png I don't care - give me another!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I can only make them one at a time, because each beer is crafted with love. And because I only have the one bottle.
On job end:
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Dad, the mobs are dangerously sober and they are starting to get ideas – good ones!
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png Man, I love being drunk. But I wish there was something else that wouldn't make me so nauseous.
Tapped Out Hans Moleman Icon.png Now that I can't drink to forget about my glaucoma, how else will I cure it?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I can't let these respectable town drunks become a bunch of high hippies. It's my job to bring back the high BACs.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pass, Puff, Puff Pt. 4

After completing Pass, Puff, Puff Pt. 3:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I need some help smuggling booze into Springfield.
Tapped Out Meathook Icon.png You've come to the right place. Unlike that guy.
Tapped Out Smithers Icon.png This is not the type of leather bar I was hoping for.
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png Hell's Satans have experience smuggling items across the Canadian border. Drugs, people, maple syrup candy.
Task: Make Homer Smuggle Alcohol From Canada (3h, Canadian Crossing)
Task: Collect Drinks [x420]
On job start:
Tapped Out Border Agent Icon.png Welcome to Canada, eh? Home of the constant apology. We're sorry for having such a lame motto.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png You can make it up to me by not checking my trunk.
Tapped Out Border Agent Icon.png Sounds fair to me!
On job end:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Marge! Kids! I'm back from Canada, so help me unload this illegal booze!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png *sigh* And that's only the third craziest thing he's said this week.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Thanks to those bikers, our basement brewery is back in business!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Fourth craziest…
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pass, Puff, Puff Pt. 5

After completing Pass, Puff, Puff Pt. 4:
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png Wow, business is so dead that it must be time for its reincarnation.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png Who knew that people only wanted to buy my overpriced greasy and sugary foods when they were intoxicated?
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png What about the munchies? I was promised munchies!
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png I wonder if the CEO of Duff can help me.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png Good thing I still have his phone number from that time he needed my help with a plot device.
Task: Make Apu Call Duff CEO (1h, Kwik-E-Mart)
Task: Collect Drinks [x420]
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon - Phone.png How did you get this number? And can I have it too? I'm tired of handing out blank business cards!
Tapped Out Apu Icon - Phone.png The Internet.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon - Phone.png Yes, the Internet. I've heard good things about it.
Tapped Out Apu Icon - Phone.png My business is failing. It turns out booze made up 99.99% of my income.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon - Phone.png I know what you mean. Sales have slumped since it became illegal to sell booze.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon - Phone.png Even our beer koozie and novelty hats-with-straws subdivisions have taken a hit. Who would've guessed?!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pass, Puff, Puff Pt. 6

After completing Pass, Puff, Puff Pt. 5:
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Apu, I think we've got a new marketing direction: “Now introducing Duff Puff – reinventing intoxication! Instead of drinking fermented plants in a can, you'll drink plants in a can!”
Tapped Out Barney Icon.png I don't want to trade hops for hemp!
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png Then why did you vote to ban all alcohol?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I thought I was entering a raffle.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Hmm, how to sell Duff Puff? I never needed marketing before. Probably because I was selling an addictive intoxicant, unlike this stuff.
Task: Make Howard K. Duff Brainstorm Marketing Ideas (3h, Brown House)
Task: Collect Drinks [x420]
On job start:
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Wow, this is hard. I brought in a dozen Harvard interns, but their best idea was to hire a consulting firm of Harvard grads.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Maybe a search on the Internet will increase my productivity.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Those four hours just flew by. And I've still got nothing. You know what, I'll just use an oldie but a goodie: free stuff!
Homer vs the 18th Amendment End.png
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pass, Puff, Puff Pt.7

After completing Pass, Puff, Puff Pt. 6:
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png We'll sponsor a St. Patrick's Day parade and give out free samples of Duff Puff. Perhaps through a fountain of some sort.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png I just had the weirdest sense of déjà vu… Huh, guess this Duff Puff really works.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Well, I've put in my two day work week! Now off to spend my twenty million quarterly bonus.
Task: Make Howard K. Duff Give Out Samples (8h, Duff Float)
On job start:
Tapped Out Barney Icon - Drunk.png Hey! That float is giving out free Duff Puff! This is even better than that time the gutter gave out free water!
Tapped Out Otto Icon.png Whoa! I guess dreams really do come true. Except for that one where I'm being chased by a giant lobster I hope.
On job end:
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png It seems the mob has gotten so drunk they're rioting, and so high they can't remember which businesses not to loot.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png At least St. Patrick's Day has finally brought people together to discover their true shared passion: property damage.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Can't there be one national holiday that doesn't end in rioting?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Arbor Day? No, wait, last year there was a riot at the toothpick factory.
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

In It to Win It

In It to Win It Pt. 1

After the user logs in on March 15th:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Marge! Where's my ping pong paddle and top hat?
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Homie, the last time you tried to get gerbils to canoe in the bathtub, we all got lice.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png No, silly. I'm using the ping pong paddles to bid at Gavelby's Auction House. It's B-Y-O-P. The P stands for "Please bring your own paddles."
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Bid? Bid on what?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I don't know, just as long as I outbid Ned Flanders. Now help me find those paddles. They say "Property of Ned Flanders" on them.
Task: Build Gavelby's Auction House
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

In It to Win It Pt. 2

After completing In It to Win It Pt. 1:
Tapped Out Auctioneer Icon.png Welcome to Gavelby's. Where every accidental twitch can lose you millions of dollars.
Tapped Out Auctioneer Icon.png Our first item up for sale is this pair of vintage soundproof headphones. Do I hear twenty dollars? No, I hear nothing at all!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Lisa, watch your daddy outbid all these other bidders.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Dad, you do know that if you win you have to pay for it, right?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png That's not how auctions work, sweetie. You bid, then you go over the rapids, and then you pay for the photo.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I'm 85% sure you're describing a flume ride.
Task: Make Homer Bid on Items (6h, Gavelby's Auction House)
Task: Make Springfielders Bid on Items [x5] (6h, Gavelby's Auction House)
Tapped Out Auctioneer Icon.png Going once! Going twice! Going three times! Going four times! Oh, sorry, I forgot what I was doing.
Tapped Out Auctioneer Icon.png Sold! To the dapper young man in the front row.
Tapped Out Casino Boss Bart Icon.png
Thank you, my good man.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png How are you going to pay for that?
Tapped Out Casino Boss Bart Icon.png
I've got Dad's credit card.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hehe, that well-dressed small man's father is going to be awful upset.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

In It to Win It Pt. 3

After completing In It to Win It Pt. 2:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Bart, you should keep those antiques you bought in a locked room devoid of oxygen or light. That's how items appreciate in value.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png But what's the point of owning something if you don't use it?
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png I believe I can field this one. The point isn't to use it, it's to lord your ownership over your fellow man. That's the enjoyment.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ugh, I probably shouldn't have bid on and then eaten Marie Antoinette's cake. But why would I have it if I can't eat it too?
Task: Make Springfielders Regret Purchases [x5] (8h, Gavelby's Auction House)
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Lisa really got me thinking about all the junk I've been holding onto.
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png Oh my God, are you dropping me as a friend? Is it because I ask too many questions? Am I doing it again?
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png No, I mean we can put some of my junk up for auction. And then use the money to buy cooler, newer junk online.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

In It to Win It Pt. 4

After completing In It to Win It Pt. 3:
Tapped Out Auctioneer Icon.png Today's first item up for auction is a vintage Krusty Olympics video game. Famous for its aggressively pro-USSR stance, it was pulled from shelves after tainted copies spread both Red Scare and Scarlet Fever.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I put that up for auction! I'll miss the dreams about murdering capitalists, but the money will be worth it.
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png It must be mine! One hundred dollars!
Tapped Out Auctioneer Icon.png We have an online bidder. The new bid is one hundred and one dollars.
Tapped Out Comic Book Guy Icon.png Foiled by a computer yet again! This is Chessbot Amateur Setting all over!
Task: Make Springfielders Auction Items [x5] (4h, Gavelby's Auction House)
Task: Make Springfielders Lose Auctions to Mystery Bidder [x5] (4h, Gavelby's Auction House)
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I wonder who this mystery online bidder is…
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Whoever it is must be loaded! They bought everything! Vintage, tech, you name it.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Ooh, sounds like a rich nerd…
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Aww, it's never a rich juvenile delinquent.
System Message Who is buying up everything on auction in Springfield? Tune in Sunday on FOX to find out!
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

St. Patrick's Day

After the user logs in on March 17th:
System Message Happy St. Patrick's Day! We've added a free St. Patty's Banner to your inventory, to honor the saint who introduced Ireland to alcohol.
Quest reward: St. Patrick's Day Banner

Prizes Gameplay

Unruly Crowd

After unlocking Unruly Crowd:
Task: Tap Unruly Crowd [x3]
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Right Duff

The Right Duff Pt. 1

After tapping on Howard K. Duff's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Well, I've done a mediocre job that resulted in massive layoffs. Time for my bonus.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Maybe I'll see if they can add another corner to my corner office.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Or, better yet, a day at the spa. With clean pores, who needs a clean conscience?
Task: Make Howard K. Duff Spend the Day at the Spa (8h, Exclusive Resort, Health Spa, Rancho Relaxo or Brown House)
On job start:
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon - Spa.png Exfoliating mask… hot rocks… pedicure. What more could a beer company CEO ask for?
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon - Spa.png Every day, I thank my Grand Pa-Pa for changing our name from Duffledump to Duff at Ellis Island.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon - Spa.png Since I got my job at Duff, no one knew I wasn't related to the family, so I just kept getting promoted.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon - Spa.png But I earned all those unearned promotions. Having a coincidental last name isn't easy, after all.
On job end:
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Vacation was fun and all but now it's time to plug back into the old stock market.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Our stock is down?! Why didn't anyone warn me so I could offload some stock before?
Tapped Out Duffman Icon.png Because your Duff is not up to snuff! Oh yeah.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Right Duff Pt. 2

After tapping on Howard K. Duff's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Hold on, I need to look that up in my Duffman to English dictionary…*GASP* They discovered I'm not a real Duff.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Who told?
Tapped Out Lindsey Naegle Icon.png As a subcontractor for ‘Just the Messenger, LLC', it is my job to tell you – it was you.
Tapped Out Lindsey Naegle Icon.png Your pedicurist heard you muttering to yourself and tweeted about it.
Tapped Out Lindsey Naegle Icon.png
  1. DuffGate is trending, Sir. The think pieces are flooding in and the Russian trolls have already co-opted it.
Task: Make Howard K. Duff Take Crash Course in Social Media (4h, Duff Stadium, Marketing Agency or Brown House)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Right Duff Pt. 3

After tapping on Howard K. Duff's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png This was all started by one pedicurist? How can corporations squash the competition if one person can yield so much power?
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Surely, I could use this so-called social media to my advantage…
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png I need a young person, a lawyer, and a better writer to figure out a punch line for this joke!
Task: Make Howard K. Duff Save His Job (4h)
On job start:
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon - Phone.png This is ridiculous. Don't you remember your Business School Shakespeare: a rose by any other name would cost as much.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon - Phone.png I refuse to resign! If you kowtow to this outrage, what's next? The workers use social media to demand a living wage? It's a slippery slope!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Right Duff Pt. 4

After tapping on Howard K. Duff's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png There's no way that I'm resigning. Duffledumps don't quit!
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png I just need to change the narrative. Get my fans to rally around the classic underdog narrative of a CEO not getting his way.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png I think I know just the way…
Task: Make Howard K. Duff Use Social Media to His Advantage (4h, Duff Stadium, Marketing Agency or Brown House)
On job start:
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png Guys! Howard Duff says he's being forced to resign because he lied about his identity for years.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Is that really so awful? It's often more complicated than that. Let's listen to his side of the argument.
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png He says if he's fired they'll send the company overseas.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png NO! I can't drink imported beer. I hated that Düff Moe sold me. It tasted like socialism.
On job end:
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png Profits are up, the board asked me to stay, and I'm now a meme apparently. Take that, Grumpy C. Catsworth – CEO of CatSip, the beer for cats.
Tapped Out Howard K. Duff Icon.png What a successful twenty-four hours. I think I'll go on another vacation.
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Premium Gameplay

The Pen Is Mightier

The Pen Is Mightier Pt. 1

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png You know who I was just thinking about?
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png I'm hoping the raccoon squatting in the guest bath and how to get rid of it.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png No, Meathook! Remember the man who kidnapped you?
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Yes, Homie. I think I'd remember a man who kidnapped me.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Let's track him down and see what Meathook's up to. It will be fun. You did say you wanted more couple activities.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png I was thinking more like square dancing. But tracking down the motorcycle gang who abducted me could be fun too.
Task: Make Meathook Enjoy Another Simpson-Free Day (8h, Circle of Death)
Task: Make Homer Find Meathook (8h, Simpson House)
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Meaty, old boy. Remember me?
Tapped Out Meathook Icon.png Oh god. It's that voice that haunts my dreams. Those abnormally loud sweat drips. That powerful odor. Please don't let that be who I think it is.
Tapped Out Meathook Icon.png Hey… you. So good to see you…
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Pen Is Mightier Pt. 2

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png It's so crazy we found you. I was just thinking about all the wild adventures we had as fellow Hell's Satans and I wanted to say hello.
Tapped Out Meathook Icon.png We were never fellow Hell's Satans but, sure, rewrite history.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png What illegal hijinks are you up to? What are we smuggling? Is it Mexican Jumping Beans?!?!
Tapped Out Meathook Icon.png No, Homer. We're only doing the darkest, soul-wrenching activity there is.
Task: Make Meathook Recite Poetry (4h, Circle of Death)
Task: Make Homer Have His Expectations Dashed (4h, Circle of Death)
Task: Make Marge Be Moved by Poetry (4h, Circle of Death)
On job start:
Tapped Out Meathook Icon - Poetry.png And I realized my true enemy-
Tapped Out Meathook Icon - Poetry.png -was me… And the U.S. Postal Service.
Tapped Out Meathook Icon.png I've committed a lot of mail fraud.
Tapped Out Marge Icon - HappyTears.png So moving! Was that a haiku?
Tapped Out Homer Icon - PassedOut.png *snores*
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Pen Is Mightier Pt. 3

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I can't believe I sat through that entire thing and my children weren't even in it.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png How come they didn't do any bad stuff? Did someone at least pickpocket my wallet while I slept?
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png No, actually Meathook found your wallet in the bathroom and returned it with more cash in it than before.
Tapped Out Meathook Icon.png We no longer express our anger physically, Homer. We get all of our aggression out in lyrical expression now.
Task: Make Homer Insist on Illegal Activities (1h, Circle of Death)
Task: Make Meathook Insist on Peaceful Activities (1h, Circle of Death)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Pen Is Mightier Pt. 4

After tapping on Meathook's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Meathook Icon.png We've changed our image, Homer. We only wish you could do the same. Why after all these years, you still seem exactly the same.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I get it. You are under surveillance and can't talk about it. Just wink if you are doing bad stuff.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I saw a wink! I knew it!
Tapped Out Meathook Icon.png That wasn't a wink! You just brought back my stress twitch!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Oh come on. Little poet can't handle a little stress?
Tapped Out Meathook Icon.png It took me years to get rid of this twitch! I'll kill you!
Task: Make Meathook Duel Homer (3h, Circle of Death, Homer)
On job start:
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Oh my. Two men battling for my affection.
Tapped Out Meathook Icon.png I'm battling out of anger.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png And I'm battling for reasons I forget... like all of my battles.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png You couldn't let me spin this one, could you guys? I ask for so little.
On job end:
Tapped Out Meathook Icon.png Can't go on… poetry has made me weak.
Tapped Out Homer Icon - Sleepy.png I…win…
Tapped Out Homer Icon - PassedOut.png *snores*
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Pen Is Mightier Pt. 5

After tapping on Meathook's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Meathook Icon.png I can't believe that happened. If I were the old me, I would hit the road with my gang and light a police cruiser on fire.
Tapped Out Meathook Icon.png But instead, I'm going to put these emotions to paper and touch people instead of torch people.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Come on, Homie. Let's go home and write our own poetry.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Awww, man.
Tapped Out Marge Icon - Wink.png *whispers*
Tapped Out Homer Icon - WooHoo.png Woo Hoo!
Task: Make Meathook Write Down His Emotions (4h, Circle of Death)
Task: Make Homer Take Marge Home (4h, Simpson House, Marge)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Let the Good Times Roll

Let the Good Times Roll Pt. 1

After tapping on Ramrood's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png "Closing Time" wasn't just Semisonic's hit from the nineties. It's also what's happening now.
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png Hmm. That sounded cooler in my head.
Tapped Out Herman Icon.png But where else can I hide out from the liberals?
Tapped Out Snake Icon.png And where will I hide from the law?
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png Meh, it's Springfield! No one's looking.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon - Drunk.png If you drive me home, I'll clear you of one crime each. Your choice.
Task: Make Ramrod Clean Up (8h, Poppa Wheelie's)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Let the Good Times Roll Pt. 2

After tapping on Ramrood's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png How did my life end up this way? Sweeping up cigarettes, clearing out broken bottles, and forced to make a sacrifice to the Queen of the Sewer Rats every day in order to keep them at bay.
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png It wasn't so long ago that I smoked the cigarettes, broke those bottles, and awoke the long dormant rat queen from her decade long slumber.
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon - Phone.png Meat, my man! Want to bust some heads like old times?
Tapped Out Meathook Icon - Phone.png Nah, I've got to slam-
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon - Phone.png *gasp*
Tapped Out Meathook Icon - Phone.png -poetry tonight down at the Circle. I'm supposed to bring the berets this week.
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png *sigh* I wonder what the old gang is up to?
Task: Make Ramrod Check Friends on Facelook (4h, Poppa Wheelie's)
On job start:
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png Roadrash has twins. Cutthroat is now Dr. Cutthroat.
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png And Ladykiller married ChickMagnet and opened up a B&B in New Hampshire!
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png My motorcycle gang is now all riding Vespas.
On job end:
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png Ugh, look at yourself, Ramrod.
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png You've spent all night in front of the computer drinking an off-brand soda.
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png And you feel bad doing it because Dr. Shapiro told you to watch your sugar intake!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Let the Good Times Roll Pt. 3

After tapping on Ramrood's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png I can't just sit here and surf the informational highway. I need to hit the actual highway.
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png There's nothing like the wind in your hair and the bugs in your mustache to remind you that you're alive!
Task: Make Ramrod Hit the Open Road (4h)
On job start:
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon - Riding.png Fresh air, straddling a hog. This is the best feeling-
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon - Trash.png
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Let the Good Times Roll Pt. 4

After tapping on Ramrood's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png Has the open road always been this terrible?
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png If I'm not getting almost hit by a distracted driver, I'm being hunted down by a vindictive driverless car.
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png They view motorcycles as their prey…
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png You know what? Maybe spending time in the bar isn't so bad.
Tapped Out Ramrod Icon.png I'll just live vicariously through the fights that break out.
Task: Make Ramrod Return to Mundane Life (4h, Poppa Wheelie's)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Rough Crowd

After unlocking Bootsie, Sludge and Mumbles:
Tapped Out Bootsie Icon.png Well, what do you guys want to do today?
Tapped Out Sludge Icon.png We might've lost our hangouts, but it WAS fun to harass the town.
Tapped Out Mumbles Icon.png *mumbles excitedly*
Tapped Out Bootsie Icon.png You're right! Everyone just walks around all day. It IS like the whole town is homeless.
Tapped Out Sludge Icon.png Let's harass 'em!
Task: Tap Bootsie
Task: Tap Mumbles
Task: Tap Sludge
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Hooch City

After completing :
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png A Hooch City finally landed in Springfield! I can finally use all those coupons.
Tapped Out Bernice Hibbert Icon.png I have always wanted to try the fill-your-own-box boxed wine.
Tapped Out Lindsey Naegle Icon.png As the president of the AA, I should probably scout this place out…for research, of course. Sweet, delicious research.
Task: Make Wine Enthusiasts Shop at Hooch City [x5] (1h, Hooch City)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Glum-Shoe

Glum-Shoe Pt. 1

After tapping on Manacek's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Ahh, another morning in Springfield.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png The combination of burning tires, nuclear waste, and obesity sweat in the air does make for a beautiful sunrise.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Now it's time for this fox to get into a hen house.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Wait, that sounds gross.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Now it's time to hit on some unsuspecting women. Much better.
Task: Make Manacek Take a Stroll (4h)
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Hey sugar lips, want to stroll back to my place?
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Uh, no?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Don't reduce my mother's existence to a single part of her body! She deserves more than your synecdoche!
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Metonymy-oh-my, this one's got some spunk!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Glum-Shoe Pt. 2

After tapping on Manacek's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Nine AM and I haven't found a willing woman yet. What could be wrong?
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Could it be me? Could I unwittingly be a relic from a bygone era? Could my aggressive flirtation in actuality make women feel uncomfortable or even threatened?
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Nah, I probably just didn't put on enough cologne.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Everyone knows that delight is best found in the afternoon!
Task: Make Manacek Take a Stroll (4h)
On job start:
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Hello there, darling. I was hoping you could teach me a lesson, if you catch my drift.
Tapped Out Miss Hoover Icon.png Well I am in the middle of class, and I'm not quite sure how you got in here.
Tapped Out Miss Hoover Icon.png But then again my union contract does allow one fling per semester…
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You again! First you hit on my mom and then my teacher. What female role model will you hit on next? Sheryl Sandberg?
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Wait til you see how far I can lean in…
On job end:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Stop objectifying women. They're just like you – fully two dimensional!
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png I'm not objectifying them! If anything I'm subjectifying them.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Show some class, you disgusting pig.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Excuse me, do pigs wear a jacket and turtleneck? Well, except for that one on the news, but he's a special case.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Glum-Shoe Pt. 3

After tapping on Manacek's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Harruph. That meddlesome midget really got under my skin.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png But I know just how to clear that eight-year-old out of my head.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png With the help of another eight-year-old.
Task: Make Manacek Clear His Head With a Whiskey Bottle (8h, Brick Townhomes)
Tapped Out Manacek Icon - NecklessSad.png Ugh, rough night. I'm late for work and my mouth tastes like wool.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon - NecklessSurprised.png Speaking of which, where are all my turtlenecks?
Tapped Out Manacek Icon - NecklessConfused.png My god, my neck's unturtled! I'm exposed, like a turtle without his…his… I don't know, favorite galoshes?
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Glum-Shoe Pt. 4

After tapping on Manacek's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Manacek Icon - NecklessSad.png My turtlenecks were my secret weapon, my armor, my confidence.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon - NecklessSad.png Without them, I'm a mess around women! Vulnerable. Open. Sometimes I even listen!
Tapped Out Manacek Icon - NecklessAnnoyed.png I must track down the Jason who fleeced this Golden Ram!
Task: Make Manacek Look in a Panic (8h)
On job start:
Tapped Out Manacek Icon - NecklessSad.png Whoever took them had access to my house. So that narrows it down to anyone who can look under my doormat.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon - NecklessSurprised.png A clue! A trail of lint! It leads out of the house!
On job end:
Tapped Out Manacek Icon - NecklessSurprised.png The trail leads to a clothing donation center? No!!
Tapped Out Manacek Icon - NecklessSad.png Farewell my precious companions. I hope the throats you warm realize how fortunate they truly are.
Tapped Out Squeaky Voiced Teen Icon.png Did you come back for your weird sweaters? They're still here. Even the raccoons refused to nest in them.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon - NecklessSurprised.png So they're too good for a sweater, but will still wear gloves and a mask?
Tapped Out Manacek Icon - NecklessConfused.png Wait, I dropped the turtlenecks off?
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Glum-Shoe Pt. 5

After tapping on Manacek's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Why would I give away my turtlenecks?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Maybe donating your turtlenecks was a symbolic gesture of you turning over a new leaf and learning to respect women? A chance to bare your neck and bare your soul.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Out of the mouths of babes…
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Sorry, I meant to say, that babe out there has got a sexy mouth.
Task: Make Manacek Continue His Misogynist Behavior (8h, Homes)
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Well I got fired from work for creating a “hostile” “work” “environment” and for not knowing what “quotes” are for. I might be more of a sleaze than I thought.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png On the upside, now I have more time to cruise the streets…
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20