Stealing First Base/Quotes
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- Bart: I'm sorry!
- Nikki: Ugh! You're always apologizing.
- Nikki: What do you mean about 'us'?
- Bart: Well, like, uh, aren't you my girlfriend now?
- Bart: I'm not gonna let you hurt me anymore.
- Skinner: Any physical contact violates our school's no-touch policy.
- Skinner: I prefer dead child to a lawsuit from your parents.
- Kevin: Let's me touch your face. That's way, I can see you with my finger. Eww! I said your face, not your butt!
- Bart: You're hot, You're cool. What is your deal?!
- Nikki: Bart, you have some things to learn about women.
- [Shuts locker door.]
- Nikki: And I'll never tell you what they are.
- Skinner: So the lesson is children-
- Michelle Obama: I'll tell them what the lesson is.
- Chalmers: He's our Joe Biden.
- Michelle Obama: Understood.
- [Homer and Marge enter Skinners office where two people in suit are waiting.]
- Skinner: Marge, Homer, this is Brody and Madison McKenna. Bart has been sharing a desk with their daughter, Nikki.
- Madison: Earlier today, your son engaged in inappropriate mouth-on-mouth contact with our daughter.
- Marge: You mean, he kissed her?
- Brody: On the top of the slide.
- Homer: That's all that happened? And I got to miss work?! Oh, I could kiss you.
- Madison: Mr. Simpson, I'm an attorney, and my husband is a federal prosecutor, And neither of us is happy.
- Homer: Well, maybe you guys should look for easier jobs.
- Madison: Unless you make this an affection-free environment, We will sue this school for its last dime.
- Skinner: All right, here it is.
- Madison: And we will make you regret the day your son was born.
- Homer: You're halfway home, lady.
