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Grampa's Christmas Origins: Christmas Lights/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki



Bart: Grampa?! What are you doing in there??
Grampa: Trying to stop another war of the worlds, that's what! You see, putting lights on houses isn't a human custom... it's the work of aliens!

Grampa: It was Christmas Eve, 1947, in the desert town of Roswell, New Mexico...
Male Rigellian: After many months on this godforsaken planet, we finally have enough power to light out ship's S.O.S. beacon!
Female Rigellian: At last!
Male Rigellian: I am sending the signal! Cross your tentacles!

Male Rigellian: It is glorious! Our lights will be seen deep into the farthest reaches of the universe!
Neighbor: That's quite the holiday display you've got on the ol' homestead.
Male Rigellian: Yes... "Display"...

Female Rigellian: Why have our brethren not arrived yet?
Male Rigellian: Blazing barsoom! Look at that!
Female Rigellian: Oh no! Every house on the street is lit up!
Neighbor: In-diddly-deed! When we saw how nifty your place looked, everyone in town decided to do it as well!

Grampa: Coincidentally, the alien spaceship took out Santa's entire fleet of reindeer when it collided with his sleigh just above the North Pole. That's why, today, Santa makes his deliveries with a magical Volkswagen Microbus! Hey! Where'd everyone go? Guess I'll just wait for the aliens to come get me. I hear Mars is lovely this time of year. [Sigh]