Homer's Phobia/Quotes
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- Homer: It's been two hours now. How do you feel?
- Bart: I dunno. I kinda want a cigarette.
- Homer: Good, let's buy you a pack. What brand?
- Bart: Anything slim.
- Homer: DANG!
- Marge: Homer, didn't John seem a little "festive" to you?
- Homer: Couldn't agree more, happy as a clam.
- Marge: He prefers the company of men!
- Homer: Who doesn't?
- Marge: Homer, listen carefully. John is a Ho - mo...
- Homer: Right.
- Marge: ...Sexual.
- Homer: AAAAHHH!
- Homer: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! I danced with a gay!
- Marge: I'm very sorry you feel that way, because John invited us out on a drive today, and we're going.
- Homer: Whoa! Not me. And not because John's gay, but because he's a sneak. He should have the good taste to mince around and let everyone know that he's... that way.
- Marge: What on Earth are you talking about?
- Homer: You know me, Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FA-LAMING!
- John: Oh don't you love those curtains? I have the same exact ones, but only in my bathroom. Didn't you just die when you found these?
- Marge: Not really. They just had corn on them. Kitchen, corn?
- John: Zzzzzap!
- Bart: Oh, Dad. You are the living end.
- Homer: You! I should have known.
- John: Good morning, sunshine.
- Marge: Homer, John brought us cactus candy.
- Homer: Look, John, you seem like a perfectly nice guy and all. Just stay the hell away from my family!
- John: Well, now you don't get any candy. No that's cruel. Just take a teensy piece.
- Homer: No.
- John: Homer, what have you got against gays?
- Homer: You know. It's not... usual. If there was a law, it would be against it.
- [Whistle goes off.]
- Homer: Oh my god! What's happening now?
- Roscoe: We work hard, we play hard.
- ["Everybody Dance Now" starts playing, as the whole room transforms into a Gay Nightclub.]
