McBain
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McBain is a movie action hero played by the actor Rainier Wolfcastle in the McBain movies. He is a parody of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis (his name is a play on the character of John McClane from the Die Hard movies) for their film personae. McBain movies feature many action movie clichés, such as a policeman being gunned down just before retirement, and one-liners before dispatching enemies. Some of his movies include, McBain: Let's Get Silly ("The entire movie is me standing against a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost 80 million dollars."), and the McBain films up to McBain V: The Final Chapter. His nemesis is Mendoza. This is not to be confused with the real-life action movie from 1991 of the same name.
Contents
Biography
McBain was a former cop. He eventually stumbled upon evidence that implicated Senator Mendoza of running a drug cartel. He then ran his limo off the cliff, snapped the necks of three of his body guards and drove a bus to his front door. He was reprimanded by his boss, the captain of the precinct, and he tried to explain that he had very good reasons to do that, due to his running a cartel. However, he would not hear him out, and he then decided to kick him out of the squad. McBain then punched the captain out of the window in retaliation. Sometime afterwards, McBain, alongside his partner and best friend Skowie, had began to track down evidence independent from the squad due to the fact that he was kicked off. However, during an evening at a Sloppy Joe's diner, a hitman, hired by Mendoza, posed as a waiter and attempted to gun down McBain. The hitman missed and Skowie took the bullets shortly after explaining that he is just two days from retirement, his daughter Suzie is going to graduate from college, and that after nailing Mendoza, he and his wife are going to sail around the world in their newly christened boat, "The Live-4-Ever". McBain attempts to stop the assassin by shooting at him, but the assassin manages to get away by crashing though a window on a motorcycle. As Skowie dies in his arms, McBain becomes more determined than ever to put an end to Mendoza's reign of terror. Later, McBain had presumably gotten his job back, and decided to try and avenge his partner, but his regulated gun is far too small for him to try and avenge Skowie, so he decides to use a much bigger gun. He is then reprimanded by the captain about the size of his gun being against regulations, as in the police department, they go by the book. McBain merely responds by using his gun to shoot and blow away the Police Manual. He then ambushes Mendoza during a meeting about his newest drug. However, Mendoza gets the better of him by feeding him a drugged salmon puff. Sometime later, Mendoza had hired another hitman to kill McBain, and again McBain survived. His final stand against Mendoza was at Mendoza's headquarters at the top of a skyscraper. McBain interrupts Mendoza's meeting and hurls him out of a window all the way down onto a parked Gas truck, which explodes on impact, stopping him once and for all. McBain then decides to sleep with his sexy female accomplice. After killing Senator Mendoza McBain decides to become a transport plane pilot. In one incident he was helping to deliver UNICEF-made pennies to children that needed them when he was suddenly attacked by a squadron of Commie-Nazis. In an attempt to save the pennie McBain leaps from his plane onto one of the Commie-Nazi jet fighters and kills the pilot despite his surrendering.
Later life
McBain later inspired the creation of the fictional character and governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger. McBain is also credited for the starring role in the Terminator films.
Movies
- McBain (1991) (not to be confused with the real-life film of the same name and year)
- McBain II (1992)
- McBain III (1994)
- McBain IV: Fatal Discharge (1996)
- McBain V: The Final Chapter (2000)
- McBain VI: You Have the Right to Remain Dead
- McBain VII: Let's Get Silly (cost $80,000,000)
Appearances
Episode – "The Way We Was" - Episode – "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"
- Episode – "The War of the Simpsons"
- Episode – "Saturdays of Thunder"
- Episode – "Last Exit to Springfield"
- Episode – "A Star Is Burns"
- Episode – "King of the Hill"
Comic story – O Bart, Where Art Thou?
