A Star Is Torn/Quotes

Quotes

Bart: From now on, I'm only eating food that I know had a soul.

Homer: He's about to learn the most important lesson in the music business: don't trust people in the music business.

Homer [to Lisa]: Do you know how many hours I had to work? How many people I had to yell at? How many tires I had to slash?

Lisa: No one told you to yell and slash!

Homer: It's called schmoozing!

Homer: We're going to write and sing our way out of this God-forsaken hell hole.

Marge: But your song said you liked Springfield?

Homer: I wrote it about Shelbyville, then changed the names.

Homer [to Lisa]: The song I wrote for you is so schmaltzy it makes "Moon River" sound like a farting orangutan.

(While Apu is being robbed)

Apu: Call the police.

Homer: I need change for a dollar.

Apu: No change without purchase.

Homer: What's the cheapest thing you've got.

Apu: A 2-ounce pack of chips. $5.99.

Homer: $5.99, what a rip-off! Someone should shoot you.

Krusty: Every week, we eliminate one contestant based on the votes cast by you, the audience.

TV announcer: Disclaimer: All ballots were lost and vote totals made up.

Lil' Starmaker commercial announcer: We're not affiliated with American Idol. We've never even heard of American Idol.

Lisa: That's Cameron. Girls go crazy over him. He's cute, unthreatening, and his smile brought a puppy back to life.