Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart/Quotes

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Quotes

	Season 23 Episode Quotes
← 500 "At Long Last Leave"	501 "Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart"	"How I Wet Your Mother" 502 →

Lisa: It's time to start your annual mad dash around town to get her a present that's not completely insulting.

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Bart: [referring to Swapper Jack's] It's like going to Hawaii without the murderous locals!

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Nelson: [holding a ciggarette] You sell ciggaretes to kids.

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Apu: I have also considered you cash given cows to be my friends.

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Apu: Convienence forever! Freshness never!

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Paula Paul: Y'know, while I was signing this for your wife, I just cook up... [Homer pants excitedly] ...a great idea!

Homer: [slightly sadly] Oh.

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Bart: [referring to his present] Open mine, quick, before it suffocates!

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Homer: A pity kiss?! THAT TEARS IT!

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Homer: [checking the phone wire] Normal, normal, normal, normal, nor— UNCHARACTERISTIC!

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Homer: Awww. I mean, RAARRGH!

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Homer: No, Homer, you can't strangle a boy on his mother's birthday. Juries hate that.

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Homer: [lying in rabbit cage] This isn't comfortable at all. I don't see how a rabbit could possibly— [snores]

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Moe: Woh, woh, woh, woh. There's a white wine? And, what, and a Swiss cheese? And... a peanut butter? And a potato chip? And toilet paper? W-Wh-What?!

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Shepard Fairey: Hold it right there!

Bart: The jerk in the glasses did everything!

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Bart: Hey, I got an "F" in art. Mainly so it would say "Fart" on my report card.

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Bart: ...he might realize Mr. Fatso is him.

Homer: What the?

Homer's brain: You idiot. Mr. Fatso is you!

Homer: What? No! It can't be!

Homer's brain: That's right, numbskull. You're son's made a foll of you in front of the whole town!

Homer: Shut up! I'll fix you! [drinks a can of Duff]

Homer's brain: Well, I'll fix you! Go drive a car!

Homer: Yes, master. Here car, here boy!

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Bart: I wanna show you how I feel. And they a say a picture's worth a thousand words. [graffitis "I'm sorry" on the bonnet of Homer's car]

Homer: [sadly] You just ruined my car!

Bart: Correction: it's worth ten times as much.

Homer: $500?! Woohoo!

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Charles Montgomery Burns: ..now, if I can get my $3,000,000 dollars dack?

Ron English: No refunds [points at no refunds sign]

Waylon Smithers: But he just said that the show was a sham.

Ron English: Oh, it is, and I'm just a guy sitting at a table. The only thing that's real, is a sign that says "no refunds".