Flaming Moe/Quotes
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- Homer: Oh no! I left a candy-bar in my desk!
- Late shift worker: That's funny, 'cause I found this candy-bar in my desk!
- [Late shift worker eats the candy-bar]
- Homer: Time to punch in.
- Smithers: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq!
- Mr. Burns: What?
- Smithers: Persia and Mesopotamia.
- Smithers: Sir, is that your will?
- Mr. Burns: It is. I know it's hard to see a young buck like me and think of a day when I'm no longer in the pink..
- [Mr. Burns sneezes, and the top of his skull flips open to reveal his brain. He quickly flips it back, closing his head]
- [Mr. Burns is riding on his lawyer's back, pretending he is riding a dinosaur. Homer walks into the room...]
- Homer: Ah! A dinosaur!
- [Homer runs out of the room screaming]
- [Smithers is secretly reading Mr. Burns will]
- Mr. Burns will: I, C. Montgomery Burns, hereby divide my estate and shares between the University Department of Applied Evil, Gary from Gary's Trap-Door Installation & Repair and finally, to my constant companion...
- [Cut to Smithers confronting Mr. Burns]
- Smithers: Your tortoise?
- [Smithers tries to persuade a group of Springfield's unattractive homosexuals to visit Moe's Tarvern]
- Grady: Ew! Isn't that the place where all those rats committed suicide?
- [Homer bumps into a Comic Book Guy look-a-like thinking it is him]
- Homer: Hey, I didn't know you were...urgh...you know...one of those...
- Comic Book Gay: I am not Comic Book Guy. I am his cousin, Comic Book Gay.
- Homer: But you do like comic books?
- Comic Book Gay: A certain kind.
- Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
- Moe: My scotch is a scotch and water.
- Moe: Not bad. Like Frisbee Golf, I'm glad I tried it once.
- Superintendent Chalmers: Willie, you're the new principal.
- Willie: Who's the new groundskeeper?
- Superintendent Chalmers: Also you. And you don't get more money.
Template:Season 22 Q
