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The Last Temptation of Homer/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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090
"The Last Temptation of Homer"
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- [Bart paints parking space lines in the Springfield Elementary School car park.]
- Bart: The beauty of it is each parking space is a mere one foot narrower. Indistinguishable to the naked eye. But therin lies the game.
- Milhouse: I fear to watch, yet I cannot turn away.
- [All the teachers pull into the car park and no one can open their doors]
- Principal Skinner: [to Edna Krabappel, banging his door into her car] You blasted woman! You parked too close! Move your car!
- Edna: I'm in the lines! You got a problem, go tell your mama.
- Skinner: Oh, don't worry, she'll hear about this.
- Ms. Krabappel: Is it possible all your misbehavior and miserable grades have been caused by a simple vision disorder?
- Bart: You mean, it ain't me noggin'; it's me peepers? Oh, well that's just luverly!
- Charlie: Well, sir, I won't bore you with the details of our miraculous escape, but we desperately need a real emergency exit.
- Mr. Burns: Why, that's a fabulous idea. Anything else you'd like? How about real lead in the radiation shields? Urinal cakes, maybe? Smithers, throw this at him.
- Lenny: Oh, if they hire a woman, we won't be able to spit on the floor.
- Carl: And we can't take our pants off when it gets real hot.
- Homer: And we won't be able to pee in the drinking fountain!
- [Carl and Lenny look at each other concerned.]
- Homer: Ya... I mean... not... you know, if we wanted to, not that I ever... did.
- [Bart walks into the classroom looking like a nerd.]
- Sherri and Terri: Nice glasses, four-eyes!
- Nelson: Yeah, nice shoes... uh... two-feet.
- Martin: Your appearance is comical to me.
- [Bart sees his reflection in Milhouse's glasses.]
- Bart: [gasps] I'm a nerd!
- [Milhouse sees his reflection in Bart's glasses.]
- Milhouse: [gasp] So am I!
- Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
- Moe: Yeah.
- Homer: See, I've got this friend named... Joey Jo-Jo... Junior... Shabadoo?
- Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
- [A man at the end of the bar gets up and runs out crying.]
- Barney Gumble: Hey! Joey Jo-Jo!
- Homer: Uh... so, let's have a conversation. Uh, I think we'll find we have very little in common.
- Mindy: Can't talk... eating.
- Homer: Hey, my favorite, raspberry swirl with a double glaze.
- Mindy: Double glaze. [begins to drool]
- Homer: D'oh! Okay, so we have one thing in common. But you know what I hate? Drinking beer and watching TV.
- Mindy: Oh, not me. That's my idea of Heaven.
- Homer: D'oh! Me too.
- Mindy: Really? I'm can see I'm gonna love working with you. Well, gotta go. [whispers] I wanna sneak in a quick nap before lunch.
- Homer: Foul temptress. I'll bet she thinks Ziggy's gotten too preachy, too!
- Homer: Hello, hotline? I'm very tempted by another woman!
- Ned Flanders: Homer Simpson! That's a dilly of a pickle. Hey, let's conference you with Marge, huh?
- Homer: [hangs up] NOOOOOOO!!!!
- Homer: Colonel Klink! Did you ever get my letters?
- Angel: I'm not actually Colonel Klink. I'm just assuming his form.
- Homer: Hee, hee, hee! Did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your camp?
- Homer: Lisa! Look out behind you!
- Lisa: Dad, I'm not gonna fall for that.
- Homer: No, Lisa, I swear to you! I'm one hundred percent completely serious. You've gotta turn around right now before it's too late!
- [Lisa turns around.]
- Lisa: Huh?
- Homer: [running away] Sucker.
- Marge: Good news, honey! Two weeks are up! You don't have to wear your glasses any more. And your scalp and posture seem fine!
- Bart: Yes!
- [He kicks his shoes through the window and they smash through the Flanders' living room window.]
- Ned Flanders: Kids, did anyone pray for giant shoes?
- Rod Flanders: [raises his hand] I did!
- Ned: Okilly-dokilly!
- Mindy: What's wrong?
- Homer: Oh yeah, like you don't know! We're gonna have sex.
- Mindy: Oh... well, we don't have to.
- Homer: Yes, we do. The cookie told me so.
- Mindy: Well, deserts aren't always right.
- Homer: But they're so sweet.
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