The Buck Stops Everywhere/Quotes
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- Mr. Burns: That's right, a fresh crisp $5 bill... ...to the employee who most improves the nuclear power plant by dad's end. Now, if you'll excuse me. I have a helicopter to catch. Smithers, you're in charge! Let's the contest begin!
- Lenny Leonard: Man that $5 would sure be sweet!
- Carl Carlson: And Carl Carlson's just the guy to get it.
- Lenny: That sounds like a contest!
- Carl: Of course, it's a contest Burns just said it was.
- Lenny: Touché.
- Carl: I'm just gonna get started now.
- Krusty the Clown: Hey! Hey! Five simoleons! Just enough to pay my lawyer.
- Gil Gunderson: Aw, thank you for this chance, Mr. the clown! Old Gil won't let you down like he did all those others.
- Milhouse Van Houten: I need a mask to hide my face. What have yo got for five dollars?
- Comic Book Guy: [SIGH!] for a paltry five dollars all I can offer is a mask from the discount bin. You have your choice of Richard Nixon or Bart Simpson.
- Milhouse: Why do you have masks of Bart?
- Comic Book Guy: One came free with every box of Bart Simpson action figures.
- Milhouse: Why does Bart have his own action figure?
- Comic Book Guy: They were a marketing tie-in with the comic book.
- Milhouse: Why does Bart have a comic book?!
- Abraham Lincoln: Hold on a minute! I think i blinked!
- Marge: I keep telling you, Mr. President, this is a painting, not a photograph.
- Abraham Lincoln: It's just that kids in school called me "Blinkin' Lincoln", and it took years to get rid of the nickname.
- Professor Frink: The Ford Theater! My calculations were correct. Now to sneak in and take the president's place.
- John Wilkes Booth: I am not going on stage!
