Little Big Mart/Quotes

Quotes

Jamshed: Uncle Apu, due to your high level of anziety, you appear to have broken rule number twenty-serven of the Kwik-E-Mart handbook: "never scare off the portly customers--the heavy-set are you best bet!" is something wrong?

Apu: To say the leats! MY mind is bubbling over with insecurites, self-doubt, and poorly timed unemploy-ment concerns. The truth is, I have not been this unsure of my store's future since old Buzz Cola was reapleaced by new Buzz Cola back in '85!

Jamshed: A terrifying time in Kwik-E-mart history! What is happening?

Apu: Springfield's very own Montgomery Burns has announced that his multi-billion dollar conglomerate is about to acquire the entire Kwik-E-Mart franchise!

Mr. Burns: How are you feeling, Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon?

Apu: The chloroform headache is a mother-grabber and I can no longer see in color, but surprisinly, my sinuses are clearer than they have been in years.

Mr. Burns: I'm sorry about the unpleasntness involved in prying you from your post, but I felt it was most urgent that I speak with you. This is the beginning of a spectular relationship, Apu. The truth is, I see a bit of myself in you-thrifty, eager. A young Monty Burns before he made his first milion!

Apu: Funny, most people tell me I remind them of Eric Estrada.

Mr. Burns: Just stick with me my Hindu friend, and together we'll build a Kwik-E-Empire!

Apu: Excellent!

Mr. Burns: Excellent, indeed!

Marty: Well Billy Boy, is this new mega Kwik-E-Super store something else or what?! I haven't seen this many cars fighting for parking spots since the Springfield Shop 'n Scrounge put up that signg adverstising "ladies underwear--half off!"

Bill: You're killin' me here, Marty. An don't call me Billy Boy!

Marty: Rock-a-doodle-doo!

Mayor Quimby: Good... eh... evening, ladies and gentlemen. Settle down! In an effort to... eh... stem the flood of angry letters to my office, I've invited you all here to... eh.... voice your opions on our town's latest business venture—the Mega Kwik-E-Super store! You heard the man, people! The forum is open! If anybody has an y apricot preserves, he or she may ask the first question!

Sea Captain: Aahrr! I got somethin' to say, ye bottom suckin' sea urchin! My seafood steam table can't keep up wit the mega mart's calamari samosas counter! I'm goin' under and darn quick!

Krusty the Clown: You? I haven't sold a Krustyburger in weekws! Apu's Nahasapeemapetipatties are wipin' me out!

Kearney Zzyzwicz: The store's not even open twenty-four hours! Where's a kid to go after the symphony lets out?

Jimbo Jones: Frankly, I'm kinda disapoointed by the less-than-chaellenging shoplifting!

Mayor Quimby: All right, that's enough! Now I'm perfectly aware that although the mega Kwik-E-Superstore is bring tremendous tax dollars into Springfield [AHEM]... thus paying for my sumemr vacation in Fiji, it's also decimating the morale of our established small business owners and... [AHEM]... others. Therefore, I'm going to do something about it!