• New article from the Springfield Shopper: Krusty’s aunt helps repair Homer’s relationship with Patty and Selma this December!
  • Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
  • Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
  • Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.
TwitterFacebookDiscord

D'oh-lice Academy/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
< D'oh-lice Academy
Revision as of 17:21, March 13, 2020 by SolarBot (talk | contribs) (→‎top: replaced: {{TabQ|gags=no}} → {{TabQ|nogags}})



Lisa: Mr. Hurlbut?! From the Springfield Historical Society?
Clancy Wiggum: What are you doing here?
Hollis Hurlbut: Congratulating Mr. Simpsons, cheif. You see, he has just broken a hundred-year-old record!
Homer: I did?
Hollis Hurlbut: Yes. While in that tank, you held your breath for seven minutes and one secnod!
Clancy Wiggum: Wonderful. Can I arrest him now?
Hollis Hurlbut: Mr. Simpson's feat is quite hisroric. Are you familiar with Obadiah "Cheeks" Wilmington?
Homer: Was he the lead singer for blues traveler?
Homer: Wow, Mr. Wolfcastle! I'm impressed at how fast you got this thing up to... 72 MPH! And in a school zone, no less!
Rainer Wolfcastle: My apologies. But I am late for a massage... for my pot-bellied pig.
Homer: Well, I still have to write you up.
Rainer Wolfcastle: But this will be my twenty-first strike! I will lose my license!
Homer: Isn't it just three strikes?
Rainer Wolfcastle: When you're a celebrity, tickets are counted like dog years.
Rainer Wolfcastle: You with the contraband! Freeze!
Fat Tony: It's the fuzz! But how did you know about my illegal ice-shaving racket?
Homer: We got an inside tip...
Fat Tony: Johnny Tightlips?!
Johnny Tightlips: Sorry, boss. But sometimes I just need to talk to some-body about my issues.
Lenny: And I'm a wonderful listener.
Fat Tony: Much like our illegal snow cones, my heart is chipping away into many broken pieces.
Lenny: There, there. Lenny's listening.
Waylon Smithers: I've got to say, Clancy, there have been no accident's since you've taken over! Nice work!
Clancy Wiggum: I guess I'm finally motivated! Unlike being police chief, a safety inspector can actually make a difference!
Homer: Well, I guess this town might be safer with you in charge, Wiggy. Just promise not to work too hard.
Clancy Wiggum: Easiest promise I ever made!
Waylon Smithers: But, chief! The plant has never been safer! You can't just walk away!
Clancy Wiggum: Sorry, Mr. Smithers. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you can't argue with an archaic statue from the town charter.
Retrieved from "https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=D%27oh-lice_Academy/Quotes&oldid=909137"
  • Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported
  • Powered by MediaWiki