Pranksta Rap/Quotes
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- Marge: Rap music promotes violence and rudeness to hoes.
- Bart: I lied about being kidnapped. The whole thing was a hoax.
- Wiggum: A hoax? A hoax!? Aw please, you can't takes this away from me! How would I explain it to Ralphie? That kid can't understand where the world goes when you close the drapes.
- Bart's rap:
- Don't critique my technique
- I'm no geek.
I make the principal nervous
- my friends can confirm this
- I'll bust a spitwad in your epidermis
- you can trace my remorse to its super-sized source
- a hungry, hungry hypocrite named Homer, of course
- my old man's pathetic
- damn is his head thick
- the gas from his ass is carcinogenic
- every day I pray his DNA ain't genetic.
- Bart: Well, I paid for this ticket. That makes me an adult. I'm going! [Bart leaves for a second, then comes back, hugging his Krusty doll.] I wuv you Krusty, Wusty! [Bart kisses his doll and leaves]
- 50 Cent: Yo! B, I heard you throw down on stage, wanna join my world tour?
- Bart: Sorry, Fiddy, I have school tomorrow.
- 50 Cent: You're right. The more you know, the further you go, and that's one to grow on. [turns to his assistant] Does that count as community service?
- Assistant: No!
- 50 Cent: A'ight take us to the park. We'll go pick up some dog poop.
- Assistant: Yes, sir!
- Milhouse: Are you mad at me?
- Bart: No, it's not about you.
- Milhouse: [disappointed] Oh, it's never about me!
- Bart: Man, are you illin'.
- Lisa: Rappers stopped saying "illin'" twelve years ago.
- Bart: I'm keepin' it real!
- Lisa: They stopped saying "keepin' it real" three years ago.
- Bart: Mom! Lisa's dissin' me!
- Marge: "Dissin'"? Do rappers still say that?
- Wiggum: [reads headlines to self] "Wiggum Sleeps Through Riot", "Top Cop Surrenders to Backfiring Car", "Firemen Rescue Police Chief from Tree", "Commission: Wiggum Sucks" Wow I should have read these headlines a long time ago. Together they really paint a picture... a failure. And now, my only friend is the bottle [pulls out bottle of maple syrup and pancakes]
- Barney Fife: [later] Rise and shine, Chief Wiggum. This pity party is over.
- Wiggum: [startled] Wha?! Officer down! [sees Fife on the TV] Barney Fife?!
- Barney: Y-E-S spells "you got it, buster!" and I wanna tell you that the feelings you have are common for every [sniff] brother of the badge.
- Wiggum: Yeah, well my fat grew over my badge.
- Barney: Oh, sour mash. You just gotta pull together and get the old [sniff] crime-sniffer out on the street.
- Wiggum: You're right! It's time I buckle down and really do some police work!
- Barney: Now that's the can-do attitude that puts dudes in the can! Ha, ha, ha. Well, I'm wanted back on the set.
- Wiggum: Set? Are you the character or the actor who plays him?
- Barney: [ghost-like voice] Now, I must goooooo!
- Wiggum: What a minute. Now you're a ghost?
- Barney: Avenge meeee!
- Alcatraaaz: [throws Bart a Murder 4 Life jersey] Here ya go ya little yellow cracka. [to driver] Now let's go murder our enemies. [to Bart] Peace!
- Homer: Bart's gone! I checked everywhere.
- Marge: That little sneak disobeyed us and went to that hip hop festival!
- Homer: If that's true he's gonna be like N.W.A: Not Without Ass-welts!
- Kirk: Oh baby, what could be better than video poker and Chintsy-Pop? [takes a handful of popcorn] Wow! I'm lookin' at an inside straight! [presses a button, which replaces the ace with a five. The word "LOSER" appears with the losing music] Someday I'll hear the winning music. Someday.
