- New article from the Springfield Shopper: Season 36 News: Promotional Images for “The Yellow Lotus” have been released!
- New article from the Springfield Shopper: Season 36 News: A Sneak Peek for “Bart’s Birthday” has been released!
- Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
- Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
- Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.
The Simpsons: Tapped Out Level 31 content update
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
Template:Semi
- Note: The following information comes from the game files. It may not be present in the released version of the update.
This is information about an upcoming update to The Simpsons: Tapped Out featuring Rainier Wolfcastle.
Buildings
- All Night Gym
- Film Set
- Radioactive Man Billboard
- Wolfcastle's Mansion
Characters
Name
|
Unlock message
|
Notes
|
McBain
|
I told you I'd be back!
|
Skin for Wolfcastle
|
Wolfcastle
|
I just had a nightmare that my every action was controlled by a nerd.
|
|
|
Quests
|
Work in Progress!
A work in progress is being carried out on this page by Cook879, and may undergo critical changes while this message remains in place.
As a courtesy, please contact the user before making edits on this page.
If this template has been on the page for over one week, it may be removed.
|
Celeb-o-mania
Part 1
|
Er, um, Mr. Burns, I'm worried that at the rate we're rebuilding, erm, Springfield is heading for social unrest.
|
|
We're running out of space to put our citizens. We keep building restaurants but we still don't have any garbage service.
|
|
And I receive a lot of complaints that it's too difficult to find people when they're walking around.
|
|
The Mayor may be right, sir. There already is a woman who keeps complaining about "something". Eventually that "something" could turn into something.
|
|
We need to scrounge up some celebrity pap to dangle in front of the town like shinny keys. Call Bumblebee Man and tell him we need a nip slip pronto!
|
|
I'm not sure he'll do another one, sir. He said he needed to stop bringing so much shame to his family.
|
|
Ugh. Catholics. If they're not denying shame, they're making it up.
|
|
A former political rival of mine has, uh, hit hard times. I would be happy to offer him up for ridicule as he tries to cling to his fame.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Did someone say fame? I must have it back! It is the only vay I can afford to do that thing where food goes in my mouth.
|
The task is Build Wolfcastle's Mansion.
|
|
Part 2
Wolfcastle
|
Thank you for building me this enormous mansion. After Maria told me to leave, I have been forced to wander from luxury hotel to luxury hotel.
|
Wolfcastle
|
The only bottles of alcohol I could get were very tiny.
|
|
That's not all we got you.
|
|
You're now hosting a reality TV show so your tremendous Teutonic talents can once again distract the good people of Springfield.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Distract?
|
|
Oh, that's just my way of saying "entertain".
|
Wolfcastle
|
TV for Wolfcastle. If I am to be in front of cameras, I must take this flabby coal body and turn it hard as a diamond.
|
The task is Make Wolfcastle Exercise.
|
|
Part 3
|
Excellent.
|
|
These celeb-fed nimrods are flapping their bleached gums about nonsensical drivel, while any issue of substance is as forgotten as that dance that preceded the Charleston.
|
|
Time to lighten my pockets on a little nuclear-fueled stroll.
|
The task is Make Burns Hide Nuclear Waste.
|
|
Part 4
|
Text not yet decided
|
|
Ah, you want to borrow my guy to spay your Norma Rae. Wolfcastle, come here a momentiola.
Template:Tapped Out Krabappel Icon
|
Skinner, I need real health insurance.
Template:Tapped Out Krabappel Icon
|
I'm tired of using anatomy lessons to crowd-source diagnoses from the students. And their prescriptions are never strong enough!
|
Wolfcastle
|
Ms. Krabappel, put down your protest sign, and behold human perfection! BEHOLD WOLFCASTLE!
|
The tasks are Make Wolfcastle Pose and Make Krabappel Go for a Smoke Break.
Template:Tapped Out Krabappel Icon
|
If this is the new health plan, I'll let this Austrian Adonis take my temperature any day. HA!
|
|
Part 5
|
Today's finally the day we stand up to Mr. Burns and demand a safer plant. And what perfect weather to picket for a strike.
|
|
Yeah, almost too perfect. Do we want to spend such a nice day all angry and yelling?
|
|
Especially when we might miss the latest gossip about this Wolfcastle/Brockman media feud! I'm Team Brockman…
|
|
and I'm Team Wolfcastle. Hey, instead of striking, let's go to Moe's and watch celebrities bicker on TV
|
The tasks are Make Carl Drink at Moe's and Make Lenny Drink at Moe's.
|
|
Part 6
|
Mr. Wolfcastle, Mr. Burns has another dignity-lowering assignment for you.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Vhat does that vithered pigeon tendon vant now?
|
|
I booked you for an interview with Kent Brockman!
|
|
I haven't seen a public quarrel with this rancorous since the front-page feud between an aging Douglas Fairbanks and that upstart Rin Tin Tin.
|
|
We must keep this vapid controversy at full boil.
|
|
Between that and the hoopla over your brainless show, no one has time to pay attention to anything important.
|
Wolfcastle
|
If that is vhat you vant, then that is vhat Volfcastle vill do.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Ugh. I should really try to word my sentences without so many W's in them.
|
The task is Make Wolfcastle Appear on a Talkshow.
|
|
Part 7
Wolfcastle
|
I vas vonce the greatest movie star in the vorld. Now I am a henchman for that brittle nuclear baron, Mr. Burns.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Have I become as delusional as the vimps and veakoids on my pathetic unscripted program, clutching at celebrity?
|
Wolfcastle
|
Comic Book Person imagines an audience for "Comic Book Man" vhere a nerd talks nerd-talk.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Elderly Skinner lady believes her attitude vould make "Sassy Mamas" a hit.
|
Wolfcastle
|
That Viggums boy doesn't get that on "Little Wiggy Poo Poo" he vould just be showing off that he is a tubby idiot.
|
Wolfcastle
|
All dream people vant to see their sad lives. Yet do I act any wiser?
|
Wolfcastle
|
I am being mocked across entertainment platforms.
|
Wolfcastle
|
I have become a rock hard, finely sculpted punchline! Rainier Volfcastle: that is the joke.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Ugh, vhy Volfcastle, vhy are you doing these hollow, vorthless jobs? I must go home and hide from my disappointments.
|
The task is Make Wolfcastle Relax in his Mansion.
|
|
Climbing Up To The D-List
Part 1
|
Thanks you kindly for visitin' my humble, alcohol-growing farm. I think you'll find lots of that ratin' generatin' drama 'round here.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Vhite trash are good for funny laugh at. It is the comedy of knowing I am better than you.
|
|
Follow me around, and yud get the reals story… on things ya don't care about. I call the show "What Dat Badger Doin' Dere?"
|
Wolfcastle
|
I enjoy this, because your accent is veird and your physical appearances bizarre. That statement carries no irony.
|
The tasks are Make Wolfcastle Shoot Show at Cletus's Farm and Make Cletus Yokel It Up at His Farm.
|
|
Part 2
|
Excuse me, sir, but we've received a report of a 5-22 in this area…
|
|
That's the crime of not putting the chief of police on your TV program.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Police Person Viggums, I like how you are a police person who plays by his own rules. It reminds me of me when I am McBain!
|
Wolfcastle
|
Is your idea for "America's Laziest Premises" about a gritty, violence-packed law show?
|
|
I was thinking more like a gritty, violence-packed food show.
|
|
I actually got my idea while sleep eating! It's literally the food show of my dreams.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Another cooking competition… I already like how lazy it is.
|
|
It would be like Top Chef meets Survivor meets the chili cook-off I always win.
|
Wolfcastle
|
This sounds great, especially the part you did not think of. I will shoot this at El Chemistri.
|
Wolfcastle
|
For what is the point of having a reality show, if I can't get important chefs to feed me free food.
|
The task is Make Wolfcastle Shoot Show at El Chemistri.
|
|
Part 3
|
Hideous fat man, come back with my dinner!
|
Wolfcastle
|
But this is my idea for "America's Laziest Premises." It's a prank show where every prank is that I steal someone's meal and eat it.
|
|
I warn you, that chili pepper is Wolfcastle strength. An average lard ball like yourself won't have the intestinal strength to survive.
|
Wolfcastle
|
I've eaten a whole saltlick before in one sitting at that stable. I think I can handle one little pepper.
|
The task is Make Homer Eat The Chief's Famous Guatemalan Insanity Pepper Chili.
|
|
Part 4
|
Thanks so much for having me on your show, Mr. Wolfcastle. Usually, I'm told cameras can't take the exposure to the ol' Szyslak kisser.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Don't worry. We set up a system of mirrors to protect our equipment. Now tell us your idea, so we may film you, and judge you later.
|
|
The title of my show is "The Sleezeball." It'd be a dating show where I date any lady willing to sign the release forms.
|
|
I figure their craving to be on TV will work like a legal roofie.
|
Wolfcastle
|
You disgust me, but in a vay I vant to vatch. But I use my "Vild Card" to change the idea so we get fewer lawsuits.
|
Wolfcastle
|
You'll scare couples on a date by being you, and document yourself doing it.
|
Wolfcastle
|
It will be like Ghost Hunters, except you are your own ghost that you hunt.
|
|
Eh, that sounds fine too. Either way, I'll meet new people.
|
The tasks are Make Wolfcastle Shoot Show at The Pimento Grove and Make Moe Spook Patrons at The Pimento Grove.
|
|
Part 5
|
Mom, you've got to help me find a way to get you on Wolfcastle's reality show!.
|
|
I'm sorry, Bart. But I'm very busy today.
|
|
What are you talking about? You're a mom -- you're never busy.
|
|
Hmmmm. Maybe if you saw a day in my life, you'd understand how difficult being a mom really is.
|
The task is Make Marge Walk Maggie.
|
|
Wow. Real housewives are a lot more boring than Real Housewives.
|
|
Part 6
Wolfcastle
|
Text not yet decided
|
Wolfcastle
|
How could all the footage be unusable? I am screaming in more than 80% of it! THAT ALWAYS VORKS!
|
Wolfcastle
|
*click*
|
Wolfcastle
|
They hung up on me.
|
Wolfcastle
|
I vill take out my fury on the iron I pump. For I swear vengeance on you, TV netvorks of Springfield! This is not the end of VOLFCASTLE!
|
The task is Make Wolfcastle Exercise.
|
|
Egoin' Crazy
Part 1
|
Hey Brockman, you better not be here for "America's Laziest Premises". Hosting a reality competition was the crap job I was born for.
Template:Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon
|
I don't know anything about that terrible reality program where ordinary people are judged on who has the best idea for a terrible reality program.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Oh hello there, Krampy and Vhite-Haired Guy.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Have you come to audition for my fantastic new unscripted series? We are still looking for desperate contestants to exploit.
|
|
You're the host?! I'm six times the star as Steroid Hitler! Looks like I have to remind Springfield who's the true big shot in this 'burg.
|
The task is Make Krusty Inflate His Own Importance.
|
|
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Wolfcastle
|
I see you are trying to cyber-bully me, Brockman. So I am here to real-bully you.
Template:Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon
|
*gulp* I'm sure we can settle this dispute with a peaceful dialogue.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Yes, we could. But what is the fun in that? I recommend taking a calcium supplement now, so your bones heal faster.
Template:Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon
|
By any chance, you wouldn't once again fall for the old "your laces are untied" bit, would you?
|
Wolfcastle
|
Vhut about my laces?
|
The task is Make Wolfcastle Go in for a Closer Inspection of his Laces.
|
Wolfcastle
|
On closer inspection, these still are loafers.
|
|
Level 31: Egoin' Crazy Pt. 5
Wolfcastle
|
I told you that vas not the end. And vant to tell you, Mr. Burns, I am done being your lackey!
|
|
What are you going to do, you jobless, slab-necked oaf? Go into politics so you can freeload off the government?
|
Wolfcastle
|
The publicity from Brockman has made me famous again. And vith no TV show, I am free to do films.
|
Wolfcastle
|
My agents already set me up to direct and star in "Death Grandpas."
|
Wolfcastle
|
I play a former Navy SEAL who must protect a retirement community from terrorists and long-haired teenagers.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Text not yet decided
|
The task is Make Wolfcastle Shoot Action Footage.
|
|
McBain
Scene 1: Vengence, Thy Name Is McBain
McBain
|
SKOWIE! They killed my band leader Skowie! And I know who they is. Mendoza.
|
McBain
|
MENDOZA!!!!
Template:Tapped Out Icon Mayor Quimby
|
Senator Mendoza? He has, er, many powerful friends because he is, um, so corrupt.
Template:Tapped Out Icon Mayor Quimby
|
Which is not necessarily a bad thing in all cases, but is bad in this, erm, specific one.
|
McBain
|
I note your concern, Mayor, but I am a loose cannon.
|
McBain
|
And this cannon smells trouble at the race track. There I'll find Mendoza's cronies and make them talk.
|
McBain
|
I can be very persuasive. Because I threaten injury by physical violence.
|
The task is Make McBain Find Intel at the Track.
|
|
OLD
McBain, Scene 1: Prologue
Wolfcastle
|
Okay, I am ready to film my newest high-budget action blockbuster. It vill go beyond cutting edge 3D and into... the fourth "D".
|
|
Actually, the fourth dimension is impossible to apply to present day video viewing methods and should be considered a misnomer in this context.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Impossible is just one more obstacle to crush...
|
McBain
|
...for McBain!
|
The task is Make McBain Shoot an Action Scene
|
|
McBain, Scene 2: Prologue
McBain
|
Ack! My flawlessly developed body needs sustenance!
|
McBain
|
No time to manufacture my usual ultra-protein-creatine-glutamine digestive cleanse, my hunger demands satisfaction.
|
McBain
|
I vill accept this "Gulp n' Blow" rather than face starvation ... this time.
|
The task is McBain Eat At Gulp 'N' Blow
|
McBain
|
Ack! The food, it sticks in my throat!
|
McBain
|
gulp... *shudder yech!
|
McBain
|
No need to vorry. The danger has passed. The only question vhich remains is…
|
McBain
|
Who is responsible?
|
Squeaky-voiced teen
|
Um, what are you talking about? You choked on a curly fry.
|
McBain
|
Only one man vould make an attempt on my life in broad daylight like this.
|
McBain
|
Mendoza!
|
|
McBain, Scene 3: Big Explosions
McBain
|
Mendoza and his army of Commie-Nazis have returned.
|
McBain
|
Who else would dare to employ the murderous curly fry against me?
|
Squeaky-voiced teen
|
Um, sir, I'm pretty sure that was just an accident.
|
McBain
|
It was clearly an attempt on my esophagus by lowlife scum, random bystander. Someone has to stop them.
|
McBain
|
And that someone... is me.
|
The task is Make McBain Battle Commie Nazis
|
|
McBain, Scene 4: Bad Cop, Bad Cop
McBain
|
The first thing I must do is find out who is backing Mendoza.
|
McBain
|
But it vill take forever to beat confessions out of all of his men.
|
McBain
|
I have to be villing to make that sacrifice.
|
The task is Make McBain Visit the Penitentiary
|
|
McBain, Scene 5: Undercover Showdown
McBain
|
Beating up prisoners didn't get me any clozer to Mendoza.
|
McBain
|
I need to get to him from the inside.
|
McBain
|
It is time for McBain to go undercover.
|
The task is Make McBain Go Undercover
|
McBain
|
MENDOZA!!
|
McBain
|
excessive pyrotechnics and gunfire*
|
McBain
|
Like the slippery eel, he has escaped again, leaving the storyline open for an inevitable sequel.
|
McBain
|
Ve vill meet again, Mendoza. Ve vill meet... again!
|
Director
|
Hold camera. And ... CUT!! That's a wrap everyone. Great scene, Rainier.
|
Wolfcastle
|
This may be the best McBain movie ever. I really feel I stretched my emotional range.
|
|
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 1
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 2
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 3
|
There's going to be a-uh lot of money floating around because of this, uh, reality TV show.
|
|
I'll have to, uh, make sure the production company is aware of all the new film tariffs I am now currently writing into law.
|
|
Springfield welcomes the entertainment with open palms, er, uh, I mean arms!
|
The task is Make Quimby Collect Bribes
|
|
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 4
|
Ohhhh! Why does that Wolfcastle get to be host?
|
|
This show was made for a blue collar everyman with questionable self-respect and a generous yet jolly waistline.
|
Wolfcastle
|
Dream on, dough boy. People don't want someone so pathetic it makes them feel better about themselves by comparison.
|
Wolfcastle
|
They want physical conditioning so perfect that it blinds them with shame. Let me show you.
|
The task is Make Wolfcastle Exercise
|
|
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 5
|
Hey, Wolfcastle, just because you're a big time celebrity, don't go thinking you can do whatever you want.
|
Wolfcastle
|
All film crew have been given full cooperation by local politicians, including minor human rights violations.
|
|
Oh, well, I guess there's not much I can do about that, then, is there?
|
|
But I'll have my eye on you. The second you step out of line I'll be on you like honey badger on a snake.
|
The task is Make Chief Wiggum Nap in the S.W.A.T. Van
|
|
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 6
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 7
Wolfcastle
|
Vhy is my TV show about loosers vith food phobias?
|
Wolfcastle
|
Vhy are there no guns? No explosions? No mahssive, flexing pectorals?
|
Wolfcastle
|
This pilot needs a hero. It needs . . . Volfcastle.
|
The task is Make Wolfcastle Shoot Action Footage
|
|
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 8
|
Hmmm, it's been two days since the last time I was subjected to the usual battery of wet willies, wedgies, and swirlies.
|
|
I think having a real live action hero in town has actually caused a downturn in schoolyard oppression.
|
|
Could this be the turning point I have been waiting for?
|
|
I think you may be right, Martin, my boy. Today is the day you walk tall with your head held high!
|
The task is Make Martin Try to be Cool
|
|
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 9
|
Good morning, internet. And what news, pray tell, do you have for me this fine afternoon?
|
|
What's this? "Generic Superhero Series Replaced By Local Reality TV Show"?
|
|
This is an outrage! "Super Lawyers, Bikers, and 1950's Businessmen" may be the worst kind of shallow, trend-pandering tripe…
|
|
...but it's OUR shallow, trend-pandering tripe! The rabid vocal minority must hear of this. To the blogosphere!
|
The task is Make Comic Book Guy Visit the Java Server
|
Wolfcastle
|
The internet is on fire! Vhy do these pasty little nerds hate my show?
|
|
Lemme tell you something about modern showbusiness, pal.
|
|
You need an act with chutzpah! You need shock value.
|
Wolfcastle
|
I'll give them shock value! I vill stomp their pitiful series of tubes into the ground!
|
|
Or... you could just convince some local dope to do something dangerous, disgusting, and/or degrading and catch it on film
|
|
Just make sure you get a signed release form before you go to air.
|
|
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 10
Wolfcastle
|
Vhere can I find a no-life looser to do something stupid for my show?
|
|
Here at Moe's Tavern, we have a fine selection of morally bankrupt and destitute slobs. Take your pick.
|
Wolfcastle
|
I need someone who vill eat an alarming amount of something disgusting.
|
|
Ooh! Me! Me, me, me! Pick me!
|
|
Uh-un, Homer, no more pickled eggs and brine for you until you pay for the last three vats you inhaled.
|
Wolfcastle
|
I choose the little man.
|
|
Me? I just dropped in for an appletini. I don't even like pickles.
|
The task is Make Wolfcastle Host Live Show at Moe's and Make Smithers Eat Pickled Eggs and Brine at Moe's
|
|
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 11
|
Dad, I need a favor.
|
|
Whaaa-!
|
|
I gotta get on Wolfcastle's show. It's been my lifelong dream for almost a day now!
|
|
Wolf?! Where?!
|
|
Never mind. Just keep an eye on the kids for me while I go find Mr. Wolfcastle, okay?
|
|
Wolves?
|
The task is Make Grampa Babysit Bart and Lisa
|
|
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 12
|
Please, Mr. Wolfcastle, please let me be on your show. I'm sure I can do something stupid and dangerous enough to impress your viewers.
|
|
Just gimme a chance!
|
Wolfcastle
|
I admire your dedication. Your family vill be proud. Please sign this release form.
|
The task is Make Wolfcastle Host Live Show at Police Station and Make Homer Eat The Chief's Famous Guatemalan Insanity Pepper Chili
|
|
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 13
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 14
|
Wolfcastle's reality show keeps getting worse and worse, but people can't get enough of its cheap stunts and schadenfreude.
|
|
It is my nerd-given duty to defend shoddy, indie productions from the evils of mainstream corruption.
|
|
I may have never seen an episode of "Super Lawyers, Bikers, and 1950's Businessmen", but it deserves to keep its timeslot.
|
|
You've survived my scathing review blog, Mr. Wolfcastle, but let's see how you deal with... a Pointless Online Petition!
|
The task is Make Comic Book Guy Visit the Java Server
|
|
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 15
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 16
|
This new reality show is just terrible. How can they justify exploiting people for cheap ratings like this?
Template:Tapped Out Krabappel Icon
|
That's people for you, stab you in the back as soon as they think they can make a few bucks off you.
|
|
Someone needs to stand up for these people. Some of them are children!
Template:Tapped Out Krabappel Icon
|
Yes, and that child thing was my idea. Equal pay for equal input, I say!
|
The task is Make Marge Protest... Something
|
|
Food vs. Fear vs. Man Pt. 15
Wolfcastle
|
"Dear Mr. Volfcastle, Due to rock bottom ratings and minor public outcry, 'Food vs. Fear vs. Man' vill be taken off the air."
|
Wolfcastle
|
This is a tragedy! For the first time ever, the great Rainier Volfcastle is... unemployed.
|
Wolfcastle
|
I guess I must retire to my 15,000 square foot mansion and find comfort by counting my contractual earnings in the company of many beautiful ladies.
|
Wolfcastle
|
sigh
|
The task is Make Wolfcastle Relax in his Mansion
|
|
Up Late With McBain
McBain
|
No one is promoting my new movie. I vill revive my old talk show and show them how it is done.
|
McBain
|
The new "Up Late with McBain" vill change the landscape of late night TV forever.
|
McBain
|
I'll use the set of McBain: Let's Get Silly and leverage my background in zany comedy.
|
McBain
|
If Hollywood has taught me anything, it's that shoehorned comedy makes everything better.
|
McBain
|
...that's the joke.
|
The task is Make McBain Host Up Late With McBain
|
|
See also
References
|