Everybody Hates Ned Flanders
Everybody Hates Ned Flanders is an Emmy-nominated song from the episode Dude, Where's My Ranch?. In the episode, it was written by Homer Simpson. It was supposed to be a Christmas carol, but when Flanders interrupted Homer's writing of it, he decided to make a hate song about him. After hearing it in Moe's Tavern, guest star David Byrne decided to make it into a CD and have it play all over Springfield on radios, church choirs and karaoke bars. However, after hearing several knock-offs, Homer gives up on the song. The music was written by Alf Clausen and Ken Keeler and the lyrics by Ian Maxtone-Graham and Keeler. It is part of the seventeenth track on the album The Simpsons: Testify. It was nominated for an Emmy award for Outstanding Individual Achievement in Music and Lyrics in 2003. It lost to "Aren't They All Our Children" from the television special The Concert for World Children's Day.
Lyrics
- David Byrne:
- Excuse me. I've been researching indigenous folk music of Springfield and I couldn't help overhearing your delightfully cruel hate song.
- Carl:
- David Byrne?
- Moe:
- Singer, artist, composer, director, Talking Head...
- David Byrne:
- And I used to wrestle under the name El Diablo.
- Lenny:
- I thought that was Philip Glass.
- David Byrne:
- Yeah, he wishes.
- Homer:
- Hey, mister, if you like my song so much, wouldja like to buy a tape? It's already rewound.
- David Byrne:
- No thanks, but I would like to sing it with you and produce it.
- Homer:
- (groans) Fine.
- Lenny and Carl:
- F-L-A,
- Homer:
- His name is Ned!
- Lenny and Carl:
- E-R-S,
- Homer:
- Ned's a stupid name!
- It's worse than Frankenstein
- Or Dr. No!
- David Byrne:
- You can't upset him even slightly,
- He just smiles and nods politely,
- Then goes home and worships nightly,
- His Leftorium is an emporium of woe!
- Lenny and Carl:
- F-L-A,
- Homer:
- Don't yell at Ned!
- Lenny and Carl:
- D-E-R,
- Homer:
- His wife is dead!
- Everybody hates that stupid jerk!
- David Byrne:
- Springfield rocks with Homer's joyous loathing,
- Filling clubs with angry Valentinos.
- You don't have to move your feet,
- Just hate Flanders to the disco beat.
- Homer and David Byrne:
- He's your perky, peppy, nightmare neighborino!
- If you despise polite left-handers,
- Then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders
- Or his creepy little offspring, Rod and Todd.
- Audience:
- F-L-A!
- Apu:
- His name is Ned!
- Audience:
- E-R-S!
- Apu:
- He is so white bread!
- Homer and Choir:
- The smiling moustache geek who walks with God!
- Reverend Lovejoy:
- Mass dismissed.
Other versions
William Shatner's cover
"Sung" by William Shatner (guest voice Maurice LaMarche). This is a parody of Shatner's infamous interpretation of "Rocket Man."
- DJ:
- We're halfway through our Same Song Six-Pack! Now let's hear William Shatner's version of "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders!"
- Marge:
- Another cover?! My God, let it die!
- William Shatner:
- Everybody...
- In the U.S...
- A...
- Hates...their...
- Stupid...neighbor...
- He's the Flanders...man...
- The Flanders, man...
- Flanders...
- (Marge turns off the radio)
- Marge:
- I am so sick of that song!
- Homer:
- Ugh, me, too! I've come to hate my own creation! Now I know how God feels.
Extended salsa mix
- Homer:
- This dude ranch is gonna be great. A whole week without hearing that stupid song.
- David Byrne:
- You won't think it's stupid when you hear the Extended Salsa Mix!
- (gets out of the car and starts dancing on the hood)
- ¡No nos gusta Flanders!
- ¡Es un hombre estupido!
- ¡No nos gusta Flanders!
- Marge:
- Watch it, Mr. Byrne! You'll slip on the Simoniz!
- David Byrne:
- Simoniz?
- (Byrne slips on the Simoniz and lands in Moe's car.)
- Moe:
- Woah. Woah!
- David Byrne:
- Can you take me to the hospital?
- Moe:
- Yeah, no problem.
