Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo/Quotes
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- Lisa: "Hey! Look, there's a cyber-café opening here in Springfield. Will you take me, Dad, please? I'll show you how to order pizza over the Internet."
- Homer: "The Internet? Is that thing still around?"
- Bart: "I know a website that shows monkeys doing it."
- Lisa: "Bart, the Internet is more than a global pornography network; it's --"
- [Lisa is cut off by the horn honking in the driveway. Homer and Bart are already in the car.]
- Homer: "Come on, Lisa -- monkeys!"
- [At the cyber-café, Homer Net-surfs on two computers at once.]
- Lisa: "Wow, Dad, you're surfing like a pro!"
- Homer: "Oh, yeah! I'm betting on Jai-alai in the Cayman Islands, I invested in something called 'News Corp' --"
- Lisa: "Dad! That's FOX!"
- Homer: [shrieks] "Undo! Undo!"
- Bart: I'm still checking japensse TV isn't it that cartoon that causes seizures (bart having a seizure)
- marge: bart what are you doing (marge having a seizures)
- lisa:hey what the (liza having a seizure)
- [The Simpsons eat at a USA-themed restaurant called "Americatown." Each table is shaped like a state, and the Simpsons are seated at Massachusetts.]
- Homer: "I can't believe they stuck us at Taxachusetts! Hey, you know, I once knew a man from Nantucket."
- Bart: "And?"
- Homer: "Let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated."
- [A waiter approaches the Simpsons' table.]
- Waiter: "Howdy, gangstas! I'm average American Joe Salaryman waiter."
- Bart: "These prices suck! Ten thousand yen for coleslaw?"
- Lisa: "Don't you serve anything that's even remotely Japanese?"
- Waiter: "Don't ask me; I don't know anything! I'm product of American education system. I also build poor-quality cars and inferior-style electronics."
- Homer: [chuckling] "Oh, they got our number!"
- [After losing their money, the Simpsons work in a fish-processing plant to try to earn their fare home.]
- Marge: [cheerfully] "Every truckload of fish we gut brings us thirty-one cents closer to those tickets home."
- Bart: "And I think I've finally found what I was put on this earth to do. [starts gutting fish] Knife goes in, guts come out. Knife goes in, guts come out."
- [Bart pulls a talking fish out of the pile.]
- Fish: "Spare my life and I'll give you three wish ... [knife goes in, guts come out] ... gaah!"
- Bart: "Knife goes in, guts come out."
