The Bids Are All Right/Quotes
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- Marge: Guess what today is, Homer? It's the day you promised to help me paint the living room!
- Homer: Uh-huh.
- Marge: I've covered everything with plastic and masked off the woodwork! Let's take this room from dreary salmon to soothing morning rose!
- Homer: Yeah, yeah... as soon as my show's over, Marge. Why don't you get started in the kitchen add we'll catch up with you.
- Marge: Well, I suppose I could do that. When will your show be over!
- Lisa: Tomorrow.
- Bart: It's a marathon.
- Marge: Hrmmm...
- Expert: A most unusual item you have here. Unusual and rare. It's carved from hickory with ivory inlays. This looks like the work of the mad clockmaker, Otto von Schlichtarber! It was thought that there was only in existence in the possession of a private collector.
- Homer: I'm not here to learn anything, pal. What's it worth?
- Expert: Well, frankly it's priceless.
- Homer: You're telling me it's worth nothing? Why, you little... [Homer strangles the expert] I pay your salary! Well, I would if I paid taxes!
- Expert: [AGHK]
- Lisa: Think of it, Bart this is what Springfield was like a hundred thousand years ago.
- Bart: Look at that really ugly one. He looks just like Moe!
- Moe: It is me. It's part of my community service... y'know, for that thing a couple months back.
- Bart & Lisa: Ahhh!
- Homer: So, how much is the museum willing to fork over for this thingamjaig?
- Museum attendant: Well, our budget is expended for the year, but your would have the gratitude of the entire community if you were to donate it:
- Homer: I knew it!
- Museum attendant:' Mr. Simpson, please reconsider!
- Homer: Reconsider my butt!
