The Purple Prose of Springfield/Quotes

Quotes

Bart: I'm in! My mission - should I care to accept it - is to find and destroy evil Lisa Simpson propganda. Must work fast... encyclopedia - usless... saxophone-annoying... Malibu Stacy dolls - disturbingy fun to play with when no one is looking... hold it, what's this?

Bart: Woha... "Springfield Publishing Contest! allt entries pesonally evaluted by editor-in-chief Seymour Skinner..." Wow! What could be more himilating for Lisa than a rejection letter personally signed by principal Skinner? But maybe that's too cruel... Actually, I think this will stop just short of the crule. Where's that address?

Marge: Hmmm... Lisa, it's your diary, so it's up to you do you want it published?

Lisa: What—and join the ranks of Isaak Dinesen and Beryl Markham? You bet!

Principal Skinner & Lionel Hutz: Yay!

Lisa: This is the happiest day of my life.

Bart: Wow—did this plan backfire or what?

Marge: Lisa, this diary is filled with insults, scandal and lies!

Homer: Yeah! You say I eat too much and sometimes I have beer breath. Now, obviously no one would ever believe that! It's hearsay, I tells ya!

Marge: Actually, I was referring to the numerous references to affairs, fights, and particualary to the jewel heist in chapter 12.

Lisa: But, mom, I swear, I didn't write those parts. You've got to belvie me.

Marge: Well, then principal Skinner is going to have a hefty lawsuit on his hands.

Lionel Hutz: Did someone say, "law-suit"?

Lionel Hutz: Your honor, Lisa Simpson is a charming, hard-working young girl... objection—prejudical. Allow me to restate... ...Lisa Simpson is an unreprentant thief of my client's creativity! I object he's badgering my client. Back off, slim—you're way out of your league.

Lisa: Excause me, your honor? I'd like to fire him.

Female judge: Good move.

Lisa: ...and replace him with my brother, Bart.

Female judge: Not so smart. But I'll allow it.

Lionel Hutz: Thank you. That makes my job infinitely easier.