Difference between revisions of "Homer the Moe/Quotes"
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{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Where's Bart? His Mountain Dew's getting flat. | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Where's Bart? His Mountain Dew's getting flat. | ||
| − | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} ''[ | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} ''[looking out the window]'' That's odd. He's outside, digging. |
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Probably digging for drugs. | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Probably digging for drugs. | ||
{{qf|Marge}} There's no drugs out there! | {{qf|Marge}} There's no drugs out there! | ||
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---- | ---- | ||
{{qf|Homer}} Geez, Moe, you've been a real crank lately. | {{qf|Homer}} Geez, Moe, you've been a real crank lately. | ||
| − | :''[Moe pulls a shotgun from behind the bar, cocks it, and points it at Homer]'' | + | :''[Moe pulls a shotgun from behind the bar, cocks it, and points it at Homer.]'' |
{{qf|Moe}} You take that back! | {{qf|Moe}} You take that back! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
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{{qf|Homer}} I don't get it. | {{qf|Homer}} I don't get it. | ||
{{qf|Bart}} Yell out, 'I'll eat a booger.' | {{qf|Bart}} Yell out, 'I'll eat a booger.' | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} "What's the gag?" | |
{{qf|Bart}} Oh, forget it! | {{qf|Bart}} Oh, forget it! | ||
:''[Bart hangs up in frustration.]'' | :''[Bart hangs up in frustration.]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[Homer's impromptu street song]'' | + | :''[Homer's impromptu street song.]'' |
:''I'm a walking down the street,'' | :''I'm a walking down the street,'' | ||
:''Gonna open [[Moe's Tavern|Moe's bar,]]'' | :''Gonna open [[Moe's Tavern|Moe's bar,]]'' | ||
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:''Hey, look at that dog!'' | :''Hey, look at that dog!'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[Moe's new tavern, 'M,' is open]'' | + | :''[Moe's new tavern, 'M,' is open.]'' |
| − | {{qf|[[Carl]]}} I don't get all this eyeball stuff. ''[ | + | {{qf|[[Carl]]}} I don't get all this eyeball stuff. ''[referring to giant close-ups of eyes on video screens]'' What are they supposed to represent? Eyeballs? |
{{qf|Moe}} It's 'Po-Mo!' | {{qf|Moe}} It's 'Po-Mo!' | ||
:''[Homer, [[Barney]], [[Lenny]] and Carl stare at him blankly.]'' | :''[Homer, [[Barney]], [[Lenny]] and Carl stare at him blankly.]'' | ||
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---- | ---- | ||
:''[Sung to the tune of {{w|Joan Jett}}'s "{{w|I Love Rock 'n' Roll}}"]'' | :''[Sung to the tune of {{w|Joan Jett}}'s "{{w|I Love Rock 'n' Roll}}"]'' | ||
| − | {{qf|Homer, | + | {{qf|Homer, Lenny, Carl and Barney}} ''I won't drink at Moe's. Homer's old garage is all I need!'' |
:''I won't drink at Moe's...'' | :''I won't drink at Moe's...'' | ||
{{qf|Homer}} ''...'cause Moe's a big jerk, and a she-male, too!'' | {{qf|Homer}} ''...'cause Moe's a big jerk, and a she-male, too!'' | ||
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:''I'm talkin' about you!'' | :''I'm talkin' about you!'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Homer}} Turkeys...the only animal smarter than man. | + | {{qf|Homer}} Turkeys... the only animal smarter than man. |
---- | ---- | ||
{{qf|Homer}} I'm sorry I shot you, Moe. | {{qf|Homer}} I'm sorry I shot you, Moe. | ||
Revision as of 07:17, May 4, 2019
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- Lisa: Where's Bart? His Mountain Dew's getting flat.
- Marge: [looking out the window] That's odd. He's outside, digging.
- Homer: Probably digging for drugs.
- Marge: There's no drugs out there!
- Homer: No. [suspiciously] Of course not.
- Marge: Bart, this is Dr. Kaufman. He's a special kind of talking doctor.
- Dr. Kaufman: Call me Bob. Well, that's quite a hole you're digging.
- Bart: Thanks, Bob.
- Kaufman: A-heh. You know, a hole's a great place to hide when people are fighting. Are there angry people in your house?
- Bart: My dad's always yelling that whitey's keeping him down.
- Kaufman: [writing notes] I see...
- [Moe interupts Homer's story about Bart digging.]
- Moe: That is the stupidest story I ever heard, and I've read the entire Sweet Valley High series.
- Homer: Geez, Moe, you've been a real crank lately.
- [Moe pulls a shotgun from behind the bar, cocks it, and points it at Homer.]
- Moe: You take that back!
- [Bartender Homer takes a prank call.]
- Homer: [phone rings] Yello?
- Bart: [on phone] Um, yeah, I'd like to speak to a Mr. Tabooger. First name Ollie.
- Homer: Ooo, Bart! My first prank call! What do I do?
- Bart: Just ask if anyone knows Ollie Tabooger.
- Homer: I don't get it.
- Bart: Yell out, 'I'll eat a booger.'
- Homer: "What's the gag?"
- Bart: Oh, forget it!
- [Bart hangs up in frustration.]
- [Homer's impromptu street song.]
- I'm a walking down the street,
- Gonna open Moe's bar,
- I'm a-singin' what I'm thinkin',
- Hey, look at that dog!
- [Moe's new tavern, 'M,' is open.]
- Carl: I don't get all this eyeball stuff. [referring to giant close-ups of eyes on video screens] What are they supposed to represent? Eyeballs?
- Moe: It's 'Po-Mo!'
- [Homer, Barney, Lenny and Carl stare at him blankly.]
- Moe: Post-Modern?
- [They continue to stare blankly.]
- Moe: Yeah, all right. 'Weird for the sake of weird.'
- Homer, Barney, Lenny and Carl: Ohh!
- [Sung to the tune of Joan Jett's "I Love Rock 'n' Roll"]
- Homer, Lenny, Carl and Barney: I won't drink at Moe's. Homer's old garage is all I need!
- I won't drink at Moe's...
- Homer: ...'cause Moe's a big jerk, and a she-male, too!
- [Homer's version of R.E.M.'s It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)]
- Leonid What's-his-name,
- Herman Munster, Motorcade,
- Birthday party, Cheetos,
- Pogo-sticks and lemonade,
- Symbiotic stupid jerks,
- That's right Flanders,
- I'm talkin' about you!
- Homer: Turkeys... the only animal smarter than man.
- Homer: I'm sorry I shot you, Moe.
- Moe: Aw, that's okay. It's like my dad always said, 'Eventually, everybody gets shot.'
