Difference between revisions of "Simprovised/Quotes"

Revision as of 10:38, January 15, 2017

Chief Wiggum: [at the evidence locker] Let's see... Present for Ralph, present for Ralph... Ooh, what do we have here? [grabs a crossbow] Boy, Ralph would kill himself with this in two seconds. And somehow it'd be my fault.

[Chief Wiggum leaves the evidence locker whistling and encounters with Lou]

Chief Wiggum: Uh... You heard me whistling there, right? That indicates innocence.

Lou: Uh.. Proclaiming your innocence indicates guilt.

Chief Wiggum: Uh, yeah? Well, what does that mean?

[he runs outside the door, enters on a car and drives away]

Bart: Okay, so, at a Ralph party, always get to the cake before...

[they see the cake deformed as Ralph's face]

Lisa: Too late!

Bart: Oh my treehouse sucks.

Nelson: Haw-Haw! You have class envy!

Mrs. Muntz: Nelson, honey, I told you to stop sayin' haw-haw.

Nelson: Give me a dollar and I'll stop.

Mrs. Muntz: I don't got a dollar!

Nelson: Haw-Haw!

Marge: Do you want to practice your speech on me?

Homer: [chuckles] No need, honey! Same speech I give every year. The opening joke about Lenny's grandma always kills.

Marge: You can't joke about her. They just put her on life support.

Homer: What?! No! She's the linchpin!

Marge: It's okay, it's okay. Everyone is terrified of public speaking. But just in case, I'll defrost a failure ham.

Homer: You don't have faith in me! I have savers! If I get heckled, I'll say "Get a half-life!".

[Marge stares at him]

Marge: I'm sure that'll be funny to them.

[Marge gets near the treehouse and sees Bart]

Marge: Oh. Throwing away your "No Girls" sign? Is it time for you to have "the talk" with your dad? Because he's gonna have to read a few things first.

Bart: No! I'm tearing it down. Ralph has a cool treehouse, and mine sucks.

Marge: Well, Bart, your father built it, and he did the very best he could.

[a flashback shows Homer building the treehouse on a sapling]

Homer: I did my job. Now it's your turn, tree! Get growing!

Marge: I'll tell you what, why don't I spruce it up for you? Huh?

Bart: But you're an inside grown-up. Moms can't build treehouses.

Marge: You realize that saying that is gonna make this mom work her keister off to make you the best darn treehouse you ever saw!

Bart: Sounds good!