Difference between revisions of "Kirk Van Houten"

Latest revision as of 13:10, November 20, 2024

Kirk Van Houten Artwork of Kirk from The Simpsons: Tapped Out

Character Information Gender: Male ♂ Status: Alive Hair: Blue, balding Occupation: Unemployed Formerly: See previous jobs Relatives: Son: Milhouse Van Houten Wife and cousin: Luann Van Houten Brother: Norbert Van Houten Mother: Unnamed Father: Unnamed Great-grandfather: Eustace Van Houten First appearance: "Bart's Friend Falls in Love" Voiced by: Hank Azaria v • d • e • h

Kirk Evelyn Van Houten^[1] is the unemployed father of Milhouse and the re-married husband of Luann.

Biography[edit]

Kirk's middle name "Van" suggests he is of Dutch descent. Kirk is one of two sons to Grandma Van Houten and Grandpa Van Houten. He has a brother, Norbert Van Houten and is confirmed to be of Dutch descent whilst fighting with his brother.^[2]

Early life and marriage[edit]

Kirk graduated from Gudger College. Whilst he was here, he was a star lacrosse player for his college's team, close to becoming professional. Before he could sign the contract, he broke his wrist high fiving the college's mascot, Sir Gudge-A-Lot, and he lost his chance to play professionally.^[3] He worked at his father-in-law's cracker factory, Southern Cracker (the Dryyyyy Cracker), in middle management, but when Luann left him, he was fired from the factory. According to Luann, Kirk was not a very good provider, and she had to borrow money from her sister and steal clothes from the church donation box.^[4]

After divorce[edit]

After the divorce, Kirk was a stereotypical middle-aged male loser and deadbeat father, with extreme emotional depression due to his divorce.^[4] He had been seen with a few girlfriends since: Starla, a chainsmoking alcoholic who stole Kirk's car. Kirk was also seen holding hands with Edna Krabappel on a police department cruise.^[5] Kirk also went on a date with Miss Hoover.^[6] Luann got custody of Milhouse when they divorced, but Kirk had visiting rights. Much to his displeasure, Milhouse often addressed him as his "weekend dad". Kirk suffered from the need to cry all the time after his divorce, even in good times. He once cut his foot off to try and get his wife back.^[7]

When he was falsely arrested for Bart's kidnap, Kirk had conjugal visits with Ruth Powers, Agnes Skinner, Miss Hoover, Lurleen Lumpkin, Cookie Kwan and Starla.^[8]

Jobs[edit]

After being fired from the Southern Cracker, he struggled to hold down a job. He was once employed as an assistant to the guy who puts fliers under people's windshield wipers.^[9] Kirk also had a job standing on the curb holding a sign directing people to a condo development and worked as a scarecrow protecting a soy-bean crop, which resulted in his eye being gouged by a crow. Since being fired from the cracker company, Kirk seems to be unable to maintain a steady job. He atteneded Leavelle's Bodyguard Academy and he was also was a singer who sold his tapes from the trunk of his car. His song was titled "Can I Borrow A Feeling" and the album featured a picture of Kirk on the front in a robe, which he was using in an attempt to be a smoking jacket. He was also unemployed at some point, surviving on alimony payments and unemployment benefits.

Arrest[edit]

He was once arrest for kidnapping. When Bart went to a concert his parents banned him from, he hides at Kirk's apartment which leads to his arrest. Despite liking the attraction from the ladies outside the prison, he is released when Alcatraaz, Lisa, and Principal Skinner found out Bart was lying.^[8]

Remarriage to Luann[edit]

Kirk and Luann later remarried and while on honeymoon, were presumed dead. They were later found on a desert island when Milhouse's uncle Norbert's balloon crashed.

Non-canon[edit]

The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened or existed.

Treehouse of Horrors[edit]

Kirk died when Homer became Death and touched him at a baseball match, killing him.^[10]

The Simpsons: Tapped Out[edit]

Kirk[edit]

This section is transcluded from The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters/Van Houtens. To edit it, please edit the transcluded page.

Kirk Image Cost Unlock method Unlocks with Unlock message 77,700 Level 37 Bachelor Arms Bachelor Arms Technical Information ID Groups Internal Name 4000 Regular Characters, Regular Male, Parents, Adult, Lackeys, Normal Springfielders, LARPers Kirk Permanent Tasks Task Time Reward Requires Quest with the task Animated? Go Skating 10m 17, 5 Simpsons' Skating Rink Eat at Krusty Burger 30m 40, 10 Krusty Burger Weekend Dad Pt. 1 Weekend Dad Pt. 16 Borrow a Self Help Book 60m 70, 17 Springfield Library Hardly Kirk-Ing Pt. 3 Give a Terrible Job Interview 3h 135, 35 Van Brunt & Churchill Ad Agency Cry Sitting Down in the Shower 4h 175, 45 Bachelor Arms Weekend Dad Pt. 2 Overpay for Sex on the Beach 4h 260, 70 Smooches on the Beach Stay at the Swelldorado 4h 260, 70 Swelldorado Get Career Hypnosis 4h 260, 70 Master Hypnotist Tent Try to Win at Blackjack 4h 175, 45 $ Casino Enjoy a Night Without Kids 4h 175, 45 Resort Hotel Drink and Babysit 4h 175, 45 The Boiled Potato Spy on Kids 4h 260, 70 Giant Ferris Wheel Attend Parenting Seminars 4h 260, 70 Universal Panacea Establish Squatter's Rights 4h 175, 45 Parasite House Shop for Cider 4h 260, 70 Mt. Swartzwelder Historic Cider Mill Obtain Anxiety Medication 6h 225, 55 Springfield Medical Center Run the Cracker Factory 8h 420, 105 Cracker Factory Hand Out Fliers 8h 275, 70 Dance the Señor Burns 8h 420, 105 Chez Guevara Hire a Private Eye 8h 275, 70 Private Investigator Office Advertise Condos 12h 420, 100 Weekend Dad Pt. 8 Enjoy a Night at the Theater 12h 420, 100 Springfield Playhouse Complain About Electric Buzzing 12h 420, 100 The Buzzing Sign Diner Protect Crops 16h 500, 125 Cletus's Farm Weekend Dad Pt. 9 Collect Unemployment Check 24h 600, 150 Office of Unemployment Weekend Dad Pt. 15 Buy Groceries at a Kindling Store 24h 600, 150 Kevin's Kindling Animated Tasks Hand Out Fliers Advertise Condos Protect Crops

Costumes[edit]

• 

  Acorn Kirk

• 

  Hero Kirk

Trivia[edit]

• His arm was once cut off by wire that Snake planted to kill Homer.^[11]

Behind the Laughter[edit]

Foreign dubs[edit]

Language Voice dubber Čeština Milan Slepička Italiano Silvio Anselmo (S03 - 07) Maurizio Reti (S08 - 30) Nicola Marcucci (since season 31)

Appearances[edit]

This article or section is incomplete. Please improve the article, or discuss the issue on the talk page.

References[edit]

Wikisimpsons has a collection of images related to Kirk Van Houten.

view • talk • edit • past The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters
view • talk • edit • past Van Houtens Kirk Luann Norbert Nana Sophie Mussolini Annika Grandma Van Houten Grandpa Van Houten
All characters