Difference between revisions of "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer/Quotes"

Revision as of 13:49, August 17, 2010

Homer: Hey, someone cut out the ad section! Who could that have been.

Marge is holding scissors.

Homer: Marge, did you cut up the paper? Why are you holding scissors?

Marge{nervously}: Oh, these? I, uh, just felt the curtains needed trimming.

Marge cuts curtains.

Homer: I wonder why the Annual Chili Cook-Off has not advertised? Oh well, maybe they are just not having it this year.

Lisa: Mom? Are you smoking?

Marge is shown holding a cigarette.

Marge: Oh, just thought I would fill the house with the rich aroma of tobacco.

Phone rings. Homer answers.

Homer: Yello? Hey, Lenny!

Marge runs the vacuum cleaner.

Homer: Sorry Lenny, what was that about getting together? I cannot hear you. Marge, could you please hold off on the vacuum cleaner?

Marge rams vacuum cleaner into phone jack and disconnects Homer's conversation. Homer is out in front yard when he sees tents and signs advertising the Annual Chili Cook-off. He then catches on to the fact Marge has been keeping him away from finding out.

Homer: I am missing the Chili Cook-off! Marge, how could you hide that from me?

Marge: Oh all right, I kept it from you! But with good reason. Every time you go to that chili cook-off you get drunk as a sailor on liberty!

Flashback to last year's Chili Cook-off. People are shocked as a naked Homer is cavorting in the cotton candy machine.

Homer{slurred speech}: Look at me! Imma puffy pink cloud!

Return to present.

Homer: Oh well, of course everything looks bad when you remember it!

[Homer interrupts Marge while she's looking at Lenny's crafts booth.]

Homer: "Maaaaaarrge! We're missing the chili! Less artsy, more fartsy!"

Marge: "Homer, I happen to like handicrafts much more than stuffing my face."

Homer: "Fine, I'll come find you when I'm ready to stop having fun."

Smithers: "Evenin', little lady. Ya reckon a square could get a dance?"

Marge: "It looks so complicated. Do you know how?"

Smithers: "Ma'am, I wouldn't honk the honk if I couldn't tonk the tonk."

Chief Wiggum: "That Homer Simpson! He thinks he is the Pope of Chilitown!"

[His mouth protected by candle wax, Homer eats several Guatemalan Insanity Peppers while a shocked crowd watches.]

Mayor Quimby: "Good Lord, this can't be happening!"

Dr. Hibbert: "By all medical logic, steam should be shooting out of his ears."

Krusty: "His ears if we're lucky!"

Homer: [hallucinating] "I hope I didn't brain my damage."

Coyote: "There is a lesson you must learn."

Homer: "If it's about laying off the insanity peppers, I'm way ahead of you."

[In search for his soul mate, Homer calls a Personals ad.]

Homer: "Hello? Is this ..uh... G B M? Uh, yeah. I read in the personals you were seeking a soulmate. Well, I also like rainy days and movies. Uh-huh ... [apprehensively] uh, no, I don't like that ... or that ... No, it's not that I'm afraid. [now speaking very quickly] I'm gonna hang up now, bye-bye!"

[Homer is in the lighthouse, and his silhouette is being projected into the sky by the lighthouse's lamp.]

Bart: [looking out window and seeing silhouette] "Hey, look! Is that Dad?"

Lisa: "Either that, or Batman's really let himself go!"

[In the lighthouse, Marge catches up to Homer and they patch up their differences.]

Homer: "Wow, Marge, you really do understand me. See, I thought we weren't soulmates because ..."

Marge: [completing Homer's sentence] "We had a fight?"

Homer: "Right, and we don't like the same things. It's like you're from Venus ..."

Marge: "And you're from Mars."

Homer: "Oh, sure, give me the one with all the monsters."

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