Difference between revisions of "When Nelson Met Lisa/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 09:10, November 29, 2022

Lisa: What have you been doing since fourth grade?

Nelson Muntz: Very little. I tried sushi. Didn't like it. That's about it.

Nelson: [thinking] She's leaning in, and I'm not looking down her shirt. I must really respect her.

Nelson: So, have you been seeing anybody?

Lisa: Of course. [scoffs] You think I, Lisa Simpson, could go through four years of college without a single date? There's this amazing guy. Vegan but not, you know, "vegan." [chuckles] Majors in pony studies. [giggles]

Nelson: Sounds perfect. What's his name?

Lisa: Um... Fred. Fred Gormanshenlen. Gorm... Grim... Mm-hmm, Fred Gormanshenlen.

Marge: Bart! Did you find Lisa?

Bart: She's up there talking to the kid who used to beat me up all the time.

Homer: The vest one or the hat one?

Bart: Vest.

Homer: Always liked him.

Homer: Lisa, since you're moving to the big city, let me give you some very important advice: the police horses will not share their oats. I repeat: not share their oats.

Homer: What am I supposed to do? Narrate? What does that mean? [clears throat] It's "S" years later. Oh, wait, five years later. Oh! Narrating is hard. Lisa and Nelson have not seen each other since college, but five-uddenly, I mean, but suddenly...

Nelson: Remember that principal we arrested for matricide?

Lisa: [gasps] Skinner killed his mother?

Nelson: No, mattress-cide. He ripped the tag off his mattress.

Rottweiler: Your hand feels as soft as a baby's bottom.

Hubert Wong: And yours feels like a busted driveway.

Hubert and Rott: Thank you.

Rott: We met when I hauled his fat carcass in for the reward.

Nelson: I had an overdue library book. I got stuck on this one word: "new ants"?

Rott: Nuance! Nuance! Love you.

Nelson: Lisa, I'm tired of only seeing you every five years. I'd like to see you every three years or two or... or... on a weekly basis!

Lisa: Nelson Muntz, I would really like to get to know you better, too.

Milhouse Van Houten: What about Milhouse? If I'm a simulation, why am I so lonely? Who does that benefit?

Mrs. Muntz: They say if you love something, let it go. And if it loves you, it'll come back. Ex-Except for your turtle which got smushed by that mail truck.

Krusty the Clown: Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. And thanks to this hologram of my father who's about to perform this beautiful interfaith ceremony.

Rabbi Krustofsky: My son, you are a big needy nothing.

Krusty: Aw, his speech from my bar mitzvah. That always gets me.

Sophie: People ask me, "Why Jimbo?" And I say, "Screw you, mind your own business, Mom."