Difference between revisions of "For a Limited Time Only/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 17:21, August 8, 2021

Bart: Well, what about those comics under that table?

Comic Book Guy: I don't like to talk about those. These are all the coverless, damaged comic books people have brought in over the years. They'd be real classics... if only their owners had taken care of them. The state should've taken their comics away! I can't bear to look at them... Not even to study the statements of ownership, management, and circulation! I was going to dispatch them on a Jedi funeral pyre, but my tears kept putting out the match.

Bart: I'll give you a quarter for the box.

Comic Book Guy: Fine. Just take them away. And leave me with my memories of what might have been.

Milhouse Van Houten: Hey! Look at this! It's a coupon where you can mail away for a free comic book, Radioactive Man Meets Captain Code!

Bart: The zip code awareness crossover comic with the postal service? That book must be decades old!

Milhouse: Whoa! It's listed in this price guide for a hundred bucks! What were those people decades ago thinking? They don't even have a website in their ad!

Bart: [reading] "Dear kid. Are you kidding? We don't even have this comic book anymore! P.S you must be stupid, stupid, stupid!"

Larry H. Lawyer, Jr.: Sue, you say? Larry H. Lawyer here. Normally you have to say my name three times for me to appear, but I lost track of the ambulance I was chasing. Here's my card, young man!

Bart: You can sue over an insulting letter?

Larry H. Lawyer: I don't know... But I saw it done in a John Grisham film once. If it worked for Matt Damon, it can work for us!

Comic publisher: But, your honor! We didn't keep any copies of that book!

Judge Snyder: Your company should have thought of that before you lost my copy in the mail years ago. Find them a copy! Revenge is adjourned!

Bart: But there are more ads in those old comics, Larry! Can we do it again?

Larry H. Lawyer: Of course, Bart! The judge has ruled. It's a precedent! At least, I think it is. I'll have to go back and watch some more movies!

Bart: I think we're back past the Civil War, now. The ads are starting to list things in half pennies!

Milhouse: I wonder what a truss is?

Cletus Spuckler: More gas cans, kids! We can finally afford to drive our home out of the swamp!

Milhouse: I guess it's all over, then. We still have these coupons for Krusty Cakes... But they'll only buy ones made twenty years ago!

Apu: Not to worry, my young friends! Twenty-year-old merchandise is the life's blood of the Kwik-E-Mart!