- New article from the Springfield Shopper: Season 36 News: Promotional Images for “The Yellow Lotus” have been released!
- New article from the Springfield Shopper: Season 36 News: A Sneak Peek for “Bart’s Birthday” has been released!
- Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
- Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
- Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.
Difference between revisions of "The Simpsons: Tapped Out New Year New You content update/Gameplay"
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| {{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>fires gun<nowiki>*</nowiki> Storm the kitchen!}} | | {{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>fires gun<nowiki>*</nowiki> Storm the kitchen!}} |
| <!--{{Tapped Out Camera Man Icon}} | | <!--{{Tapped Out Camera Man Icon}} |
− | {{TB|-->{{Tapped Out Camera Man Icon}} | + | {{TB|-->{{TBT|Camera Man}} |
| {{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>attacking noises<nowiki>*</nowiki>}} | | {{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>attacking noises<nowiki>*</nowiki>}} |
| <!--{{Tapped Out Tab Spangler Icon}} | | <!--{{Tapped Out Tab Spangler Icon}} |
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| {{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}} | | {{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}} |
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| ===Survival of the Wellest Pt. 3=== | | ===Survival of the Wellest Pt. 3=== |
| {{Table| | | {{Table| |
Revision as of 13:11, January 20, 2021
The Post-Holiday Expansion
After the user logs in on January 20th:
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The Holy Trinity of Leftovers: Christmas dinner mixed with Thanksgiving scraps and topped with all the worst Halloween candy!
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Oh man, another round of Christmas ham with Jolly Ranchers on top and you'll be muumuu-level fat!
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Oooh, muumuu-level! Last time I wore one of those, I got to work from home!
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So? Isn't the whole world already working from home?
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Nope, we have to keep going into the plant. Mr. Burns convinced the Mayor that the radiation protects us. *takes bite of leftovers*
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Homer, stop eating that tri-holiday heart attack!
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But if I get fat enough, I could start the New Year with courtside seats next to the leftover dispenser. *looks at fridge*
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You have to start losing weight. Don't you want to be around to see the kids grow up?
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Not really.
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Well, how about this: if you lose ten pounds, I'll put my special Santa outfit on for you.
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*intrigued noise*
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Mom! Gross!
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Task: Make Homer Agree to Lose Weight (6s, Simpson House)
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Okay, fine. It's a deal. I'll lose ten pounds...
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Yay!
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...after I finish eating these leftovers. *eating noises*
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Look, I'm sure it'll be a challenge, but with hard work and discipline I know you can do it!
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*stuffing face with leftovers* I need to gain as much as possible now before I'm officially weighed in.
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Where are we going to find a big enough scale?
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You might be laughing now, but once I'm ultra-fat, it'll be so easy to slim down to normal fat.
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You know, you'll still have to work out to lose weight.
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Or...Dr. Hibbert can surgically remove the ten pounds out of me.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Survival of the Wellest
Survival of the Wellest Pt. 1
After completing The Post-Holiday Expansion:
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Hmm. Protracted gut, excessive sweating, the tub of gravy filled with candy corn you're eating...
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My diagnosis: you are experiencing a momentary spike of obesity...caused by the mass consumption of holiday leftovers.
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All true! So, what wonders of medical science are available for a super overweight person who wants to effortlessly shed a few pounds?
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Homer, I can't staple your stomach for a third time. It would kill you.
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*moans* Now how am I going to cash in my "buy two get one free" stomach stapling card?
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*chuckles* You're holding a Krusty Burger punch card — which as your doctor, I can't allow you to cash in. *takes card*
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Well, if you won't help me, maybe Dr. Nick will.
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Homer, my solution is for you to go on a strict diet eating only these experimental meal replacement packs.
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How's eating going to help me lose weight?
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They're full of untested chemicals!
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Can't argue with chemicals!
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Task: Collect Dumbbell [x125] Task: Make Homer Gorge Himself on Meal Replacement Packs (4h, Simpson House)
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Must gorge to lose weight!
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Dad, these meal pack labels are just taped on with Band-Aids. *peels off label*
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I don't feel so good.
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That's because you've been eating US Army cavalry horse feed from the Spanish-American War!
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*horse neighs* No wonder I've been neighing so much!
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No, you can't eat any more of those!
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Haven't you always wanted a pony? *neighs*
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Survival of the Wellest Pt. 2
After completing Survival of the Wellest Pt. 1:
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Hey Homer, I have to give you a ticket...for speeding!
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Man, this day can't get worse...
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Well, why are you in such a rush?
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I've tried every get-thin-quick scheme I could think of: stuffing myself with diet horse feed on the couch while watching endless reruns of the NHL All-Star Skills Challenge...
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So, now I'm on my way to Moe's because he does backroom liposuction before noon.
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You know, me and some of the other…robust fellas in town are heading over to Tab Spangler's Serenity Ranch.
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*chuckles* Robust.
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He's running a "New Year, New You" weight loss special. You should join us!
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Fat Camp? No thank you!
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There's a free all-you-can-eat "welcome guests" buffet tonight…
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Mmm...fat camp buffet.
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Task: Collect Dumbbell [x125] Task: Make Homer Rush to Serenity Ranch (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes) Task: Make Gluttons Head to Serenity Ranch [x3] (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
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Tab Spangler
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Thank you for your patience while filling out these fourteen-page liability release forms.
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So that's what I signed!
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I believe we were promised a free all-you-can-eat buffet?
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Yeah, where's my free grub?!
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Tab Spangler
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Don't worry, at Serenity Ranch we deliver on our promises! So let this magnificent feast start you on your road to wellness.
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This isn't a feast! It's a bunch of plants...
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It's all so green and leafy...
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I detect a distinct lack of protein, which leads me to ask: what kind of FAT CAMP IS THIS?
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A healthy one!
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*fires gun* Storm the kitchen!
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Camera Man
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*attacking noises*
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Tab Spangler
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This may be harder than I thought.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Survival of the Wellest Pt. 3
After completing Survival of the Wellest Pt. 2:
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You know I don't feel so good. I'm not sure I can handle more wellness training this morning.
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Maybe I could just call my wife to come get me…or at least bring me a burger or pizza.
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Tab Spangler
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No dice. The registration forms you signed give me full legal authority to keep you here until you are the peak of physical perfection!
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Tab Spangler
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God I love fine print.
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You sir, are worse than Loki the trickster god himself!
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Tab Spangler
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Them's the rules and you all signed on the dotted line.
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*gasp* He can't imprison us! Can he, Chief…?
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Well, he did say both "legal" and "authority" in the same sentence, and the DA tells me that's the magic word combo that lets me do whatever I want...
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Tab Spangler
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Calm yourselves! Torturing people into shape is a thing of the past. Here at Serenity Ranch, we take a holistic approach to wellness!
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I take a holistic approach to eating whatever I want and where I want!
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Tab Spangler
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Well, not anymore.
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Task: Collect Dumbbell [x125] Task: Make Homer Drink a Green Juice (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes) If the user has Sakatumi: Task: Make Sakatumi Meditate on Weight Loss (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes) If the user has Wiggum: Task: Make Wiggum Strike a Yoga Pose (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes) If the user has Quimby: Task: Make Quimby Learn Pilates (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
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Am I doing this "downward dog" thing right? I wish the police dog was here to show me how.
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Ow! I don't think my back bends this way. Or at all.
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Shavasa-whaa?
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It's "Shavasana". And yes, it's a subpar catchphrase!
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Yoga is for moms to meet other moms and show off. We fat dudes should be doing push-ups and karate kicks!
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Tab Spangler
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Since I have the legal authority to keep you all here, you better start learning to love our new wellness program...and that means yoga every morning.
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*out of breath* Yoga is so much harder than anything I did at the Police Academy! And I had to do that twice!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Survival of the Wellest Pt. 4
After completing Survival of the Wellest Pt. 3:
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This is all a waste of time! Plus Lard Lad just released a new bacon donut sandwich! It's two bacon donuts with a bacon donut in the center!
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The premiere of a new donut and I am missing it! *angry noise*
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We've gotta escape this "Serenity" Ranch! If you're with me, put your fat fingers in.
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Homer, maybe you should just relax and get with the program. All this yoga is making me too tired to fight.
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The cop guy is right. Plus, at least we have a steady stream of kombucha to keep us just as drunk as ever. *kombucha belch*
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Homer, how do you know you don't like wellness, unless you try it?
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*short shriek* You're all traitors to the big and tall!
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Task: Collect Dumbbell [x125] Task: Make Homer Convince Fellow Gluttons to Escape (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes) If the user has Barney: Task: Make Barney Have Another Juice (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes) If the user has Wiggum: Task: Make Wiggum Almost Stretch His Back (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
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Guys, this is just a big scam! We're wasting time and not losing any weight while we keep paying Tab Spangler to live here on this picturesque ranch!
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Hmm, I wish scamming were illegal, but it's not — so we can't do anything.
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What about you, Comic Book Guy? Don't you want to go back home and run your shop?
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I bet Bart is stealing all your comics as we speak.
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Kumiko runs a pretty tight ship thank you very much. But I do miss reading the comics and lamenting about how bad they've all become.
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And Sakatumi…wait, why are you even here? Isn't being big kind of your job?
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I was disqualified from the tour when they found out my sumo diaper was really two sumo diapers tied together!
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Alright, Simpson, you've sold us on the need to get out of here. What's your plan?
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I don't have a plan! I'm just the guy who rallies everyone together so that someone else can come up with the plan.
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Worst. Leader. Ever.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Survival of the Wellest Pt. 5
After completing Survival of the Wellest Pt. 4:
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Look, Homer, we all want to get out of here now, but face it: we're all too fat and slow.
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Yeah, Homer, we're not Thors, we're Fat Thors!
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The only way out of here is to train until we're all able to climb over that wall and escape.
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Hmmm…that's it, Barney! We'll get in shape. And there's only one way to do that...
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Stick with the wellness program?
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No, a training montage!
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Task: Collect Dumbbell [x125] Task: Make Homer Put Together a Training Montage (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes) Task: Make Gluttons Train in a Training Montage [x3] (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
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*montage music plays* Whoa, look at me dragging giant tires around! I don't even know where those came from!
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I think I just did a hundred thousand jumping jacks without breaking a sweat!
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*lifting weights* They're going to have to start calling me LEAN TONY!
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*stops montage music* Alright, former fatsos, now we're in the best shape of our lives and all it took was 8 minutes of montaging!
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Let us climb over the wall like Wildlings invading Westeros!
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Tab Spangler
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*slow clap* Excellent work, men! I never wavered from my belief that you'd finally realize what it takes to get in great shape.
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Tab Spangler
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You had to hate being here so much that you'd lose weight just to escape!
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So he's not a scammer — he's a genius!
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Worst. Twist. Ever.
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Tab Spangler
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Hey, I still made a buttload of money off you sorry lot.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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The Post-Holiday Contraction Expansion
After completing Survival of the Wellest Pt. 5:
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Honey! Kids! I'm home!
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You probably didn't hear me walk in because I'm so light on my feet!
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Oooh, Homie! I've never seen you look this thin!
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I'm so proud of you, Dad!
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Since you're all good and healthy now, I guess we can throw out our St. Patrick's Day leftovers.
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Wait, I was gone for three months?!
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Yeah, how long did you think you were gone?
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Okay, throwing out the leftover corned beef and cabbage.
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Gimme that festive fridge food! *takes food*
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Now, there's only one thing to do with a tub full of leftovers: eating montage! *eating noises*
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Task: Make Homer Gorge Himself Back Into Homer Shape (4h, Simpson House) If the user has Marge: Task: Make Marge Enjoy Buff Homer While She Can (4h, Simpson House) Quest reward: 200 and 20
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The Nature to Nurture
The Nature to Nurture Pt. 1
After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark:
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Mrs. Frink
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For cryin' out glayvin! Give me back that test tube!
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Vicious Monkeys
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*monkey noises*
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Quick everyone, clear out! Ned Flanders is here!
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No — Not — That guy.
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He's leading his biweekly "crimes against nature" crusade!
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Mrs. Frink
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Now?! But I had that in my calendar for next week!
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I'm afraid even we scientists don't understand the meaning of "biweekly"!
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Vicious Monkeys
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*shrugging noises*
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Ok, I'll take the Monkeys and the Super Soldier Squirrels and you get rid of…you know…THAT.
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Octoparrot
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*croak*
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Mrs. Frink
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Octoparrot?! I'm not going to let them harm a feather on your head.
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Octoparrot
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Or tentacle!
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Task: Make Mrs. Frink Rescue Octoparrot (1h, Screaming Monkey Medical Research Center, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research, Frink's Lab, Frink's House or Homes) If the user has Sebastian Cobb: Task: Make Sebastian Cobb Wrangle the Monkeys (1h, Screaming Monkey Medical Research Center, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research, Frink's Lab, Frink's House or Homes) If the user has Ned: Task: Make Ned Harass Scientists (1h, Screaming Monkey Medical Research Center, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research, Frink's Lab, Frink's House or Homes)
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Mrs. Frink
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Hey honey, I'm home — and I've got a surprise.
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Flayvin do I like a good surprise.
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Octoparrot
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Flayvin!
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Hoyvin!
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Octoparrot
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Hoyvin!
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What is with the flipping and the flapping and the repeating—
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Mrs. Frink
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I have to keep Octoparrot hidden in our house for a while.
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But where the glayvin will we put this ink-shooting copy-cat?!
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Mrs. Frink
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The guest bedroom?
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Octoparrot
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*brawk* Master bedroom!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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The Nature to Nurture Pt. 2
After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark:
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By my calculations, this parrot doesn't just display repetitive behavior, but communicates with advanced avian intelligence.
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Octoparrot
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Duh! *sprays ink*
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Mrs. Frink
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His octopus DNA makes him smarter than your average bird.
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I still don't recognize his scientific purpose.
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Mrs. Frink
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Octoparrot is just Phase One in our mission to one day merge the DNA of humans and parrots.
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Octoparrot
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I'm hungry! I'm hungry! I'm hungry!
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He sounds pretty human to me.
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Task: Make Mrs. Frink Try to Feed Octoparrot (4h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes) If the user has Octoparrot: Make Mrs. Frink Try to Feed Octoparrot (4h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes, Octoparrot) If the user has Professor Frink: Task: Make Frink Clean Up Ink-Stains With Lasers (4h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes) Quest reward: 100 and 10
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The Nature to Nurture Pt. 3
After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark:
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Octoparrot
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*burps*
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Well, we've learned that this invertebrate bird likes to eat fish.
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Mrs. Frink
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I'm growing to like him as a pet.
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Octoparrot
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I'm hungry! I'm hungry! *ink spray*
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Well, he's good practice before we create our own children.
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Mrs. Frink
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Children... Miniaturize some of your clothes. I have an idea!
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Miniaturize them? But that technology is far too advanced!
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Mrs. Frink
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We get it. You invented the Shrink Ray...
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I did! But my shrink ray is very sensitive. If you shrink something, you can't just zap it back and make it big again.
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Mrs. Frink
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Now that would be something worth investing in.
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*zaps his clothes*
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Task: Make Mrs. Frink Disguise Octoparrot (2h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes) If the user has Professor Frink: Task: Make Frink Miniaturize Clothes (2h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes) Quest reward: 100 and 10
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The Nature to Nurture Pt. 4
After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark:
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Welcome to the Childrarium. How can I help you?
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Mrs. Frink
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I would like to drop my son off to be nurtured and educated while I go get a mani-pedi and feel smugly superior to other parents because I'm paying to give my child a head start.
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We really appreciate that kind of honesty here at the Childrarium.
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Mrs. Frink
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I just want the best for my child, Octoparrot.
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His name is Octoparrot?
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Mrs. Frink
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Well, we prefer to call him by his nickname: Octo.
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All right, Octo. Time for a fun-filled day at the Childrarium!
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Octoparrot
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*ink spray*
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My eyes!
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Mrs. Frink
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He, uh, likes black licorice and sometimes spits at strangers. Sorry.
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Task: Make Mrs. Frink Get a Mani-Pedi (8h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes) If the user has Squeaky Voice Teen: Task: Make Squeaky Voice Teen Watch ViewTube While Kids Run Wild (8h, Childrarium, Springfield Gymdandee or Homes)
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Welcome back, ma'am. Here's your son and— Oh, one of his mittens came off and OH MY GOD, IS THAT A TENTACLE?!
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Mrs. Frink
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Let's just put that mitten back on and no it wasn't.
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I'm pretty sure it was!
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Mrs. Frink
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*zaps with shrink ray* Sorry, but you know too much.
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I'm as small as the toddlers now!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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The Nature to Nurture Pt. 5
After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark:
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Mrs. Frink
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I'm tired of putting in all the work to raise our 8-tentacled crime against nature while you futz around trying to generate cold fusion in your lab!
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I knew Octoparrot would create a divide between us!
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Octoparrot
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*brawk* I choose neither of you in the divorce!
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I never wanted a genetically-engineered faux-child. That was all you. You HAD to have one, and I supported you in that, but you always knew that I have very important science work.
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Mrs. Frink
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Yeah, doing what? Robotics?
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Robots are the future!
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Mrs. Frink
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You just built another robot bartender didn't you?
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Yes! And Charles can make ice AND serve drinks, thank you very much.
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But by Glayvin's ghost, I can't get him to stop crushing the ice cubelets!
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Robot
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*crushing noises* Here's your margarita, sir.
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Octoparrot
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Can I get seven more for each of my tentacles?
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ould you like them with salt, sir?
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Task: Make Mrs. Frink Complain About Frink (5h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes) If the user has Professor Frink: Task: Make Frink Work on Robot Bartender (5h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes)
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Hi-diddly-ho, science-a-reenos!
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Mrs. Frink
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Ned Flanders! Uh, what are you doing here?
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Everyone in town knows you and Frink are hiding some sort of lab-grown monster.
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Mrs. Frink
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But how? I've been so careful!
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Well, your octoparrot has been spraying ink all around town.
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But you can all relax. Some archaeologists just discovered a new stash of early Christian manuscripts — the Deader Sea Scrolls.
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And in it, there's a new gospel that says abominations are okay as long as they're cute!
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Mrs. Frink
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So our little Octo is safe?
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Who's the cute little octoparrot, who?
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Octoparrot
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*brawk* Get me away from this weirdo! And from all of you!
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Mrs. Frink
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Octo's right. You belong in this world. Go and be free, little Octo!
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So long, son.
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Octoparrot
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*brawk* I'll send you a postcard from Rio! *flies away*
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Quest reward: 200 and 20
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