Difference between revisions of "Mobile Homer/Quotes"
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{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Haven't we all. | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Haven't we all. | ||
{{qf|Insurance Rep}} Strokes? | {{qf|Insurance Rep}} Strokes? | ||
− | {{qf|Homer}} | + | {{qf|Homer}} None... no wait, three. ''[chuckles]'' Since the last one I don't remember so good. |
{{qf|Insurance Rep}} Are you a smoker? | {{qf|Insurance Rep}} Are you a smoker? | ||
{{qf|Homer}} Yes I am. | {{qf|Homer}} Yes I am. |
Latest revision as of 16:51, March 7, 2020
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- Insurance Rep: Mr. Simpson before we can insure you we need to ask you some questions. Have you ever had a heart attack?
- Homer: Haven't we all.
- Insurance Rep: Strokes?
- Homer: None... no wait, three. [chuckles] Since the last one I don't remember so good.
- Insurance Rep: Are you a smoker?
- Homer: Yes I am.
- Marge: You don't smoke!!
- Homer: Shhh!! [whispering] I want her to think I'm cool.
- Marge: Is there anything more fun than a nice Sunday drive?
- Bart: Oh yeah, it's great. Why don't we top it off by reading to old people?
- Lisa: Well, I think, in these days of petro-terrorists and ozone depletion, a Sunday drive reeks of bio-hubris.
- Homer: You can't enjoy money when you're dead so why not have fun now!!
- Marge: Don't you think you've had enough fun? Last year you spent $5,000 on donuts, $2,000 on scalp massages, $500 on body glitter.
- Homer: Hey, I earned that money. While you lounge around here doing laundry and putting up drywall, I'm at work busting my hump.
- Marge: Oh, please. From what I hear, you waltz in there at 10:30, take a nap on the toilet, then sit around Googling your own name until lunch.
- Homer: (gasping) Who told you that?!
- Marge: You shouted it while we were making love!! Now look here, mister, I pay the bills, I do the budget and I'm in charge of the money. Hmmm!
- Homer: [pretending] Oohhh! I'm Marge Simpson! Don't eat off the floor. Oohhh!
- [Bart and Lisa go outside into the backyard after Homer's bad impression of Marge.]
- Marge: And I am so sick of that story about finding an onion ring in your French fries! It was 20 years ago!
- Homer: That was my Woodstock!
- [The 2 kids then get into the RV.]
- Bart: You know what started this trouble? This motorhome! How could a vehicle this cool destroy a marriage that crappy?
- Lisa: Hey, I know this is a crazy idea, but hear me out. What if we... (gasps)
- Bart: [driving the RV out of the lawn] Take this back to the dealer?
- Lisa: Well, I was gonna say "Call Reverend Lovejoy," but I guess this could work.
- [Bart and Lisa drive it out onto the road while Homer and Marge are still arguing.]
- Homer: Oh yeah, Marge? [the kids turn the RV around the corner] What about MY womanly needs? [wails]