Difference between revisions of "Game Over/Quotes"

Revision as of 19:41, November 2, 2024

[Introduction Cutscene]

Mr. Sparkle: The dirt has prevailed. I have dishonored my ancestors!

Bart: The Springfield portal is the only one that's holding. Come on, everyone, back to Springfield!

Private First Class Burns: Hang on. I'll be right back!

Morc: For the love of Sauron will ya...aww...

Morc: Crap.

Homer: Ohh! Well, I'm glad that's over. What's for dinner, Marge?

Mario: I hope-a it's-a spaghetti! Here we go!

Bart: Uh, Homer, we're still under attack.

Marge: I guess all that's left to do is pray that God saves us.

Lisa: That's it, Mom! We have to talk to God!

Marge: Lisa, what are you doing?! It's not safe out there!

Lisa: I'm going to use my Buddha Hand Powers to build a tower to heaven out of Springfield buildings, then we can get to the only authority who outranks Matt Groening. God!

Homer: Lisa, everyone knows God only helps the mighty.

Lisa: Come on, everyone. I've built a stairway to heaven.

Skeleton Otto: Awesome! I hope the stores aren't all closed!

William Shakespeare: Who's there? Stand and unfold yourself!

Homer: Hey, what's the big idea? Let us through!

Lisa: Uh, Dad, I think that's Shakespeare, you know, the Bard of Avon!

Marge: Ooo! I love Avon!

William Shakespeare: I pray thee cease thy counsel, which falls into mine ears as profitless as water in a sieve.

Bart: Enough of the John Grisham fancy-talk, mustachio!

William Shakespeare: Meet Yorick! A fellow of infiniteªDEATH!

[Homer and Bart fighting Shakespeare]

Homer: You're an iambic jerk!

Homer: I'm going to mock you in your lame ass style!

Homer: I should be fighting Francis Bacon! He's the one who wrote your plays!

Homer: What else did you write that I can make into an insult?

Homer: You've got nothing on Tom Clancy!

Homer: You can write, but you can't fight!

Homer: Here's Midsummer Night's ass-kicking!

Homer: Your plays are indulgent and unfunny!

Homer: Write a sonnet about that!

Homer: See you in Hell, Shakespeare!

Homer: Here's a soliloquy: you suck!

Bart: More like the 'tard of Avon.

Bart: Even your Cliff's Notes are boring!

Bart: If not for the vanity of actors, your work would be long forgotten!

Bart: Write a joke, loser!

Bart: Only Lisa likes you!

Bart: Shakespeare in love? Shakespeare in pain!

Bart: Nice neck-ruffle, you tool!

Bart: That which we call a fart by any other name would smell like your butt!

Bart: I never did any of my homework about you!

Bart: Hey fat ass, knock him off his cloud.

[William Shakespeare fighting Bart and Homer]

William Shakespeare: A plague on both your asses!

William Shakespeare: My Kingdom for a horse -- did I write that?

William Shakespeare: I wish I could have written more limericks!

William Shakespeare: I'm gonna go all Macbeth on your asses!

William Shakespeare: Why does no one perform "The Winter's Tale?"

William Shakespeare: I'll tame your shrew!

William Shakespeare: Get ready to see "Shakespeare in Hate!"

William Shakespeare: I pity the fool who fights Will Shakespeare!

William Shakespeare: Alas, Horatio, I kicked your butts!

William Shakespeare: All the world's a stage -- for me to whup your asses!

William Shakespeare: What has thou jerks done?

William Shakespeare: The Bard of Avon hath fallen on his tuchis!

William Shakespeare: Great Greymalkin that hurt!

William Shakespeare: That was the unkindest cut of all!

William Shakespeare: Ow -- I sat on my hemroids!

William Shakespeare: To be or not to be, that is the -- ow ow ow dead.

[The Simpsons reacting to heaven]

Bart: Hey... heaven smells like lotion.

Bart: Heaven is fancy. Hope I don't have to tip the angels.

Bart: I feel a little underdressed in shorts.

Lisa: Heaven is zen -- I love it!

Lisa: I wonder if I have time for a quick hot rock massage?

Lisa: I hope the heavenly spa menu is vegan.

Lisa: Damn you, Alexei Pajitnov!,

Lisa: Ugh, I can't believe I helped build another Starbucks.

[The Simpsons reacting to re-used enemies]

Homer: Oh no, not these jerks again.

Bart: Aliens in heaven? Maybe this place isn't so lame.

Bart: Ha, ha! You loggers are de-ad!

Bart: Sweet -- more dolphins for me to kill.

Bart: I knew heaven would be filled with jerks, but this is ridiculous.

Lisa: Aliens? I thought you would have your own heaven!

Lisa: Loggers! The same loggers that I killed and or got fired!

Lisa: Oh, kind and noble dolphins, don't make me kick your ass again!

Lisa: I knew we hadn't seen the last of these guys -- (SHEEPISH) I looked ahead in the manual.

Marge: Oh, how nice. Everyone we defeated went to heaven!

[Heavenly Spa Announcements]

Heavenly Spa: All treatments must be cancelled two hours in advance or your credit card will be charged.

Heavenly Spa: Don't forget to visit our classic arcade game room.

Heavenly Spa: God smiles upon those who tip the staff.

Heavenly Spa: Towel fee, fifteen dollars.

Heavenly Spa: Sandals must be worn at all times in heavenly showers.

Heavenly Spa: Movie titles do not appear on the bill.

Heavenly Spa: God's Choice massage oils available for sale in gift shop.

Heavenly Spa: Triple-A members get a fifteen percent discount.

Heavenly Spa: Remember, God loves you. And video games.

Heavenly Spa: No dolphins allowed in the hot tubs.

Heavenly Spa: No outside food in heaven.

Heavenly Spa: The spa is not liable for any injuries suffered on property.

Heavenly Spa: Aliens must shower before entering pool.

Heavenly Spa: Warning: Satan sometimes appears in steam room.

Heavenly Spa: Don't forget -- April is Lobsterfest in the Heavenly Dining Room!

[The Simpsons meeting Benjamin Franklin]

Lisa: Wow, Benjamin Franklin! You're my intellectual hero! Please please let us pass so we can talk to God.

Benjamin Franklin: No way, Lisa. You're a bigger butt-kisser than Thomas Jefferson! Up here, I'm judge, jury and executioner. It's time you all learned that heaven can be a hell of a place!

[The Simpsons fighting Benjamin Franklin]

Homer: I've never heard of you!

Homer: You look like you're on money but I'm nut sure!

Homer: You're balder than me, Franklin!

Homer: You smell like French ladies!

Homer: Big deal, you invented electricity, like any one needs that!

Bart: This is from Bart Simpson's almanac -- get bent!

Bart: I can't believe you wanted the national bird to be a turkey!

Bart: I'll frame your Constitution!

Bart: Those half-glasses make you look old!

Lisa: I forgot what I leanred about you in school!

Lisa: You're one of history's greatest sexists!

Lisa: You're no Thomas Jefferson!

Lisa: Those hippie half-glasses are lame!

Lisa: The turkey as the national bird? That's insane. An entrée can't be a national bird!

Lisa: You should use electricity for good, not evil!

Lisa: You may have been wise, but you were also sexist!

Lisa: Many of your proverbs are obvious!

Lisa: You were never president! You were never president!

Lisa: Michael Bolton called, he wanted his haircut back!

[Benjamin Franklin fighting the Simpsons]

Benjamin Franklin: Early to bed for you kids!

Benjamin Franklin: There was never a good war -- except this one!

Benjamin Franklin: All the world's a stage -- wait, that's Shakespeare. Sorry.

Benjamin Franklin: Haste makes me wasting you!

Benjamin Franklin: It's all about the Benjamin Franklins!

Benjamin Franklin: I'm gonna make you turkeys the national dead birds!

Benjamin Franklin: Eat kite!

Benjamin Franklin: Live free and DIE!

Benjamin Franklin: I'm fat but I'm quick!

Benjamin Franklin: I wish I was back in Tony Hawk Underground 2!

Benjamin Franklin: I was ambassador to France! Uwahahahaha!

Benjamin Franklin: I'm flatter than a $100 bill.

Benjamin Franklin: Ow -- my giant ass!

Benjamin Franklin: I sat on my bifocals!

Benjamin Franklin: Poor Richard's lower back!

Benjamin Franklin: My GOUT! My GOUT!

Benjamin Franklin: Early to bed, and early to rise, makes a man healthy and -- ow ow ow dead!

[The Simpsons meeting God]

Marge: Oh my. God's not setting a very good example.

Homer: No wonder you never hear about God having a girlfriend.

God: (AFRAID) Is someone there?! I don't have any money!

Lisa: God, it's the Simpsons here. You've been playing with our lives and we'd like you to stop. Our home, family and friends are all suffering.

Bart: Yeah, God, you used to be cool.

God: (OFFENDED) Just because I'm a gamer doesn't mean I'm not cool.

God: Your uneasy looks have brought my disfavor! You buncha jerks!

[The Simpsons fighting God]

Homer: Snoopy dances better than you!

Homer: Ha! You dance as bad as me!

Homer: Hahaha, I wish the other religions could see how lame you dance!

Homer: Hey -- creator of all things -- you're weak!

Homer: You call yourself a gamer?

Homer: In the beginning... you suck!

Homer: And what's the deal with platypuses, anyway?

Homer: Nice robes, hippie!

Homer: Ha! I can't believe it! God sucks at videogames! Ah-hahahaha!

Homer: Now you're obsolete! That's a next-generation butt kicking!

Bart: You can't dance in sandals!

Bart: You dance like grampa at a wedding!

Bart: Face it -- you have no moves!

Bart: I pray to Santa Claus!

Bart: God, I've never forgiven you for inventing school!

Bart: I bet you play every game on "easy."

Bart: Your robes have Cheeto dust on them!

Bart: I don't worship you -- I worhip Crom! Hail Crom!

Bart: Milhouse is better at videogames than you!

Lisa: You got served!

Lisa: Your dance like my mom!

Lisa: Billy Mitchell is the God of video games, not you!

Lisa: You blow more than Dig Dug!

Lisa: Santa never gave me a pony!

Lisa: Eww, It smells like Otto's jacket in here.

Lisa: You were a real jerk in the Old Testament!

Lisa: You should stick to Infocom games like Zork!

Lisa: You're omniscient -- I call that cheating!

Lisa: Those who don't learn from past levels will be forced to repeat them.

Marge: I honor you, oh lord, but you are not good at videogames.

Marge: Thou art father of all things, except video game skills.

Marge: You giveth of life, but sucketh at games.

Marge: Maybe Jesus could give you some game pointers.

Marge: Even God magic can't make you good!

Marge: I prayed for new curtains -- where are they?

Marge: God is love! And love is bad at video games!

[God fighting the Simpsons]

God: Prepare to meet your maker!

God: I'm gonna make heaven seem like hell!

God: Immortal combat!

God: It's not gonna take six days to whomp you!

God: You ugly, you ugly, yo momma says you ugly!

God: Here comes the flood -- of pain!

God: You better pray!

God: That Lovejoy is a loser -- just like you!

God: The one true faith... is video games!

God: God's got game!

God: Don't hate the maker, hate the game!

God: God got mad skills!

God: God is great -- at gaming!

God: Worship my amazing abilities!

God: I'm like the Michael Jordan of video games!

God: If you can't take the heat, stay out of the heavens!

God: Ssssmokin!

God: Beard power -- activate!

God: Me, I'm good!

God: First original sin -- now this!

God: Great, way to hurt God's feelings.

[Ending Cutscene]

Bart: Alright, loser! You stop the destruction of our town and give us some answers... or these save games go in the drink!

God: No! My save games! Stop! I'm on the final boss fight in Oblivion. I can't start again from the beginning! OK. I'll do whatever you want.

Bart: I thought so.

God: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Homer: Alright, uhh, God, God, is it? It's time for some answers! Who...are we?

God: Here's the bad news. You're video game characters. You were designed by computer geeks in cubicles to run around and be controlled by other computer geeks in their bedrooms.

Bart: We knew that, Birkenstocks.

Lisa: Yeah -- explain to us the meaning of life!

God: Okay... those computer geeks who control you, thing is, they're part of a videogame too. You see, "The Planet Earth" is my most immersive, detailed video game yet. And I play it 24-hours a day. It's great -- you can get out of your car, have a family, I even put in a complete and wholly consistent fossil record, for the nerds. So, "The Simpsons Game", your game, is really nothing but a mini game inside my Earth game, if you think about it.

Lisa: So not only are we not real, we're characters inside a mini-game inside another game? And the people playing us right now are the characters inside the big game that you're playing.

God: Well... you're not inside just any game. "The Planet Earth" got a score of 96 on Meta-meta-critic.

Bart: But why did you let me find the instruction book back in Springfield? Doesn't that mess up your whole system?

God: Oh, totally! That was like a complete accident...

God: Here I am, rock you like a hurricane...How do you control the camera in this thing? Is it the L and R button or what? Screw this, I'm getting a beer.

God: (LONG EXPLETIVE BEEP NOISE)

Bart: The Simpsons Game?

God: So, yeah. You see? Oops.

Homer: Oops isn't gonna cut it, Mister glowing-visage-beautiful-beyond-all-description! You gotta make this right!!!

God: Relax, relax! God! I feel really, really super bad about all of this and I seriously want to finish Oblivion so I can get started on something else. So, what do you want?

Marge: Put Springfield back the way it was!

Bart: And let us keep our awesome powers!

Lisa: Improve the working conditions of all video game characters!

Homer: Grant me three wishes!

God: Fine, fine. I'll do all that stuff, even make games less dangerous for the characters. I guess games have been getting too violent.

Lisa: God there is one thing...Do you ever wonder if you're a character in a video game?

God: Pshhh. That's, that's just dumb. I mean, stop being dumb.

Ralph: Whoa.

Ralph: Daddy, someone's lookin' at me!