Difference between revisions of "Warrin' Priests: Part Two/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 20:14, December 14, 2021

Fat Tony: This is the first time I've come to church when it's not part of a big montage of my enemies being whacked.

Louie: Whoa! Hey! Whoa!

Julio Franco: Way to preach, bitch.

Ned Flanders: I'm gonna pretend I heard "amen".

Julio: Oh, relax, bitch.

Dr. Nick: They don't teach you that at medical school.

Dr. Hibbert: Yes, they do.

Dr. Nick: Well, I learn from my mistakes. Malpractice makes malperfect.

Ned: This church has gone from a place of warm, awkward silence into a gooey lovefest run by a narcissistic kum-bah-yo-yo, and I will not stand for it.

Bode Wright: You and I believe in the same God. I just believe that that God loves everyone. You don't agree with that, Ned?

Ned: Sir, we are not on a first-name basis.

Bode Wright: Mr. Flanders.

Ned: You may call me New Evangelical Deacon, or Ned for short.

Todd Flanders: Daddy, we can't leave before the pastor says so.

Ned: Who told you that?

Rod Flanders: You did.

Todd: You call it "Homer Simpson-ing".

Ned: [groans]

Homer: Yeah, don't Homer Simpson, you jerk.

Preacher Mac: I would go on, but I am down to my last vocal cord. Even for a pastor, I've taken way too long to make a simple point.

Helen Lovejoy: Timothy, I've never seen you like this. Maybe I'll do some defrocking, too.

Reverend Lovejoy: In the choo choo room?

Helen: Okay, mood's gone.

Luann Van Houten: I know this is a weird thing to say in church, but we need proof.

Kent Brockman: The crisis of faith grows as support for im-preach-ment is now at 52%. Can you fight fire with firing? What should we do with this Judas priest? This has been Kent Brockman talking, saying nothing.

Moe Szyslak: We've mobbed for less, people.

Lenny Leonard: Yeah, remember the guy with the two different-colored socks?

Carl Carlson: Ran his ass right out of town.

Lenny: Banish him!

Bode Wright: Dear God, please let the Simpsons never end.

Everyone: Amen!

Lisa: Why would you burn a Bible? Why couldn't you burn Bill O'Reilly's books? There are so many.

Chief Wiggum: Just when I understood that guy, when I believed again, when I believed in people, they took him away. I've lost my faith, Lou.

Lou: Come on, Chief, you got a beautiful wife [begins laughing] and kid... I can't... I'm sorry, I can't say that with a straight face.

Chief Wiggum: Well, you could try.

Lou: [still laughing] I am. I-I'm trying, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll maybe try again. You got a beau... [laughs some more] ...tiful wife and kid.