Difference between revisions of "Marge the Sellout/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 07:09, May 15, 2021

Marge: Homer! You have to get rid of all your old "TV Guides"!

Homer: Oh, here we go. First we had to get rid of Grampa, then we had to get rid of that rabid squirrel in the basement, and now this!

Marge: do you even keep these?

Homer: I don't like to throw until I've finished the crossword puzzles.

Homer: Why are you blocking the door?

Marge: Well, um... you see... I got a little carried away with the whole eBuy things and...

Bart: Mom sold all our stuff!

Homer: Let's stay calm. I'm just going to get a beer out of the fridge. We'll all sit on the couch, watch a little TV, and figure this out.

Lisa: There's no fridge, no beer, no couch, and no TV!

Lisa: I checked the records for mom's sales. Almost everything was purchased by the same buyer!

Bart: What are the odds?

Homer: 3456.5 to I if you carry the long division!

Bart: Homer? Why are you here?

Homer: It's Opposite day, children! Today I'm Professor Homer Simpson P.H.N.Y.P.d! Now if you'll excuse me! I have to help some college kids with their homework!

Artie Ziff: Homer Simpson! I challenge you!

Homer: I accept!

Artie Ziff: You idiot! Yo don't even know what I'm challenging you to!

Homer: I'm hoping it's a pie-eating contest!

Artie Ziff: [SIGH] We'll have a quiz about your family! Win and you'll get your things back!

Homer: And if I win?

Artie Ziff: Are you even listening? That's what you get if you win. Now if you lose --

Homer: I accept!

Artie Ziff: [ARRGH] If you lose I get a date with Marge.

Marge: No.

Artie Ziff: Fine. Then a date with your sister patty. Can we just get started?

Homer: I accept!

Lisa: Mr. Ziff, what does it feel like to be part of the Simpson family?

Artie Ziff: I... er... well, that is... I don't know.

Lisa: Dad?

Homer: It feels like home.

Artie Ziff: You win!

Homer: Ha! In your face, loser!