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Difference between revisions of "Pranksta Rap/Quotes"

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< Pranksta Rap
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass|There's Something About Marrying}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass|There's Something About Marrying}}
  
−
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Rap music promotes violence and rudeness to hoes.
+
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} [[Alcatraaaz]] is wide spread! I'm talkin' da junk!
 +
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Just what we need. Another lame suburban kid who loves rap.
 +
{{qf|Bart}} So? You like the blues.
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} Yes, but the blues are unpopular.
 +
{{qf|Bart}} Man, are you illin'.
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} Rappers stopped saying "illin'" twelve years ago.
 +
{{qf|Bart}} I'm keepin' it real.
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} They stopped saying "keepin' it real" three years ago.
 +
{{qf|Bart}} Mom, Lisa's dissin' me!
 +
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} "Dissin'?" Do rappers still say that?
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} I lied about being kidnapped. The whole thing was a hoax.
+
{{qf|{{Ch|50 Cent}}}} Yo B, I heard you throw down on stage. Wanna join my world tour?
−
{{qf|[[Wiggum]]}} A hoax? A hoax!? Aw please, you can't takes this away from me! How would I explain it to [[Ralph Wiggum|Ralphie]]? That kid can't understand where the world goes when you close the drapes.
+
{{qf|Bart}} Sorry, Fiddy. I have school tomorrow.
 +
{{qf|50 Cent}} You're right—the more you know, the further you'll go. And that's one to grow on. ''[to his assistant]'' Does that count as community service?
 +
{{qf|Assistant}} No.
 +
{{qf|50 Cent}} All right. Take me to the park. We'll pick up some dog poo.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Bart's rap}}
+
{{qf|Bart}} Well, time to face my punishment like a man... Or, lie my way out of it like a kid.
−
:Don't critique my technique
 
−
:I'm no geek.<br />I make the principal nervous
 
−
:my friends can confirm this
 
−
:I'll bust a spitwad in your epidermis
 
−
:you can trace my remorse to its super-sized source
 
−
:a hungry, hungry hypocrite named Homer, of course
 
−
:my old man's pathetic
 
−
:damn is his head thick
 
−
:the gas from his ass is carcinogenic
 
−
:every day I pray his DNA ain't genetic.
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Bart}} Well, I paid for this ticket. That makes me an adult. I'm going! ''[Bart leaves for a second, then comes back, hugging his [[Krusty]] doll.]'' I wuv you Krusty, Wusty! ''[Bart kisses his doll and leaves]''
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} A flying rock! Call a geologist!
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[50 Cent]]}} Yo! B, I heard you throw down on stage, wanna join my world tour?
+
{{qf|Marge}} ''[reading]'' "We have kidnapped your son. Follow instructions and Bart will not be harmed."
−
{{qf|Bart}} Sorry, Fiddy, I have school tomorrow.
+
{{qf|Homer}} "Follow instructions?" He's doomed! ''[falls to his knees and starts sobbing]'' This'll be the worst Thanksgiving dinner ever.
−
{{qf|50 Cent}} You're right. The more you know, the further you go, and that's one to grow on. ''[turns to his assistant]'' Does that count as community service?
+
{{qf|Marge}} Thanksgiving's not for months.
−
{{qf|Assistant}} No!
+
{{qf|Homer}} The bad news keeps on coming.
−
{{qf|50 Cent}} A'ight take us to the park. We'll go pick up some dog poop.
 
−
{{qf|Assistant}} Yes, sir!
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} Are you mad at me?
+
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Tragedy climbed a ladder last night as ten-year-old Bart Simpson was snatched from his bed, his chocolate milk dreams cut short by kidnapping fiends. Mrs. Simpson, is the pain so unbearable you wish your son had never been born?
 +
{{qf|Marge}} Ooh, what a horrible thing to say to a mother.
 +
{{qf|Brockman}} Perhaps reading this message aloud will comfort you.
 +
{{qf|Marge}} ''[through tears]'' It's "Win a Hawaiian Getaway Week" on Channel Six. ''[sobs]''
 +
{{qf|Brockman}} So, mail in those pineapple stickers today! Aloha means "one entry per person."
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} Bart! Are the kidnappers after you?
 +
{{qf|Bart}} Well... some kidnappers might be after me. It's a big world. But in this case, I faked the whole thing.
 +
{{qf|Milhouse}} Why? Are you mad at me?
 
{{qf|Bart}} No, it's not about you.
 
{{qf|Bart}} No, it's not about you.
−
{{qf|Milhouse}} ''[disappointed]'' Oh, it's never about me!
+
{{qf|Milhouse}} ''[sadly]'' It's never about me.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Bart}} Man, are you illin'.
+
{{qf|Bart}} ''[disguising his voice]'' This is the kidnapper. Do what I say and Bart won't get hurt.
−
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Rappers stopped saying "illin'" twelve years ago.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Oh yeah? Send a finger wrapped in today's paper to prove you have him.
−
{{qf|Bart}} I'm keepin' it real!
+
{{qf|Marge}} Homer!
−
{{qf|Lisa}} They stopped saying "keepin' it real" '''''three''''' years ago.
+
{{qf|Homer}} I know what I'm doing. ''[into phone]'' You can use any section of the paper. Except Metro. It's a big snooze.
−
{{qf|Bart}} Mom! Lisa's dissin' me!
+
----
−
{{qf|Marge}} "Dissin'"? Do rappers still say that?
+
{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} All right, boys. Let's get this tape back to the lab for analysis.
 +
{{qf|[[Lou]]}} We have a lab?
 +
{{qf|Wiggum}} Yeah, it's that room we keep the Christmas decorations in.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Apu]]}} Oh, [[Chintzy-Pop]] is the worst legal popcorn. Many of the kernels are baby teeth.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Oh son!... Taking your tombstone back to the store will be the happiest thing I've ever done.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Eddie]]}} Chief, we're sorry we didn't have faith in you.
 +
{{qf|Lou}} And I'm sorry I wrote those letters to the editor calling for your ouster.
 +
{{qf|Wiggum}} You're "Worried In West Springfield?"
 +
{{qf|Lou}} Not any more, Chief. Not any more.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Bart}} Milhouse, if you tell anyone, I'll tell the world you wet your pants watching ''[[Harry Potter]]''.
 +
{{qf|Milhouse}} I wasn't scared, I was just peeing.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Wiggum}} Boys, even though I've been made Police Commissioner, don't think I've forgotten you. Lou, you're promoted to chief of police.
 +
{{qf|Lou}} Sweet.
 +
{{qf|Wiggum}} And Eddie, you're promoted to Lou.
 +
{{qf|Eddie}} Nice. And uh, who's gonna be Eddie?
 +
{{qf|Wiggum}} We don't need an Eddie.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Wiggum}} ''[reads headlines to self]'' "Wiggum Sleeps Through Riot", "Top Cop Surrenders to Backfiring Car", "Firemen Rescue Police Chief from Tree", "Commission: Wiggum Sucks" Wow I should have read these headlines a long time ago. Together they really paint a picture... a failure. And now, my only friend is the bottle ''[pulls out bottle of maple syrup and pancakes]''
+
{{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} A chance to bring down Bart Simpson? Our school's second most-wanted criminal after the mysterious [[El Barto]]? Hmm... sign me up!
−
{{qf|[[Barney Fife]]}} ''[later]'' Rise and shine, Chief Wiggum. This pity party is over.
 
−
{{qf|Wiggum}} ''[startled]'' Wha?! Officer down! ''[sees Fife on the TV]'' Barney Fife?!
 
−
{{qf|Barney}} Y-E-S spells "you got it, buster!" and I wanna tell you that the feelings you have are common for every ''[sniff]'' brother of the badge.
 
−
{{qf|Wiggum}} Yeah, well my fat grew over my badge.
 
−
{{qf|Barney}} Oh, sour mash. You just gotta pull together and get the old ''[sniff]'' crime-sniffer out on the street.
 
−
{{qf|Wiggum}} You're right! It's time I buckle down and really do some police work!
 
−
{{qf|Barney}} Now that's the can-do attitude that puts dudes in the can! Ha, ha, ha. Well, I'm wanted back on the set.
 
−
{{qf|Wiggum}} Set? Are you the character or the actor who plays him?
 
−
{{qf|Barney}} ''[ghost-like voice]'' Now, I must goooooo!
 
−
{{qf|Wiggum}} What a minute. Now you're a ghost?
 
−
{{qf|Barney}} Avenge meeee!
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Alcatraaaz]]}} ''[throws Bart a Murder 4 Life jersey]'' Here ya go ya little yellow cracka. ''[to driver]'' Now let's go murder our enemies. ''[to Bart]'' Peace!
+
{{qf|Wiggum}} All right, people, we got a situation here. Your daughter's gonna blow our whole deal sky high.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} You leave Maggie to me
 +
{{qf|Wiggum}} No, Lisa!
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Not her! She'll hunt us down relentlessly—like a bloodhound mixed with a student loan officer!
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Bart's gone! I checked everywhere.
+
{{qf|Skinner}} Bingo! Thank you, Mr. Alcatraaaz.
−
{{qf|Marge}} That little sneak disobeyed us and went to that hip hop festival!
+
{{qf|Alcatraaaz}} Ain't nothin'.
−
{{qf|Homer}} If that's true he's gonna be like N.W.A: Not Without Ass-welts!
+
{{qf|Skinner}} Ah, ah, ah. "It is nothing."
 +
{{qf|Alcatraaaz}} It's idiomatic, biatch.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Kirk]]}} Oh baby, what could be better than video poker and Chintsy-Pop? ''[takes a handful of popcorn]'' Wow! I'm lookin' at an inside straight! ''[presses a button, which replaces the ace with a five. The word "LOSER" appears with the losing music]'' Someday I'll hear the winning music. Someday.
+
{{qf|Skinner}} Do you think there's a place in the hip-hop world for a forty-something elementary school administrator?
 +
{{qf|Alcatraaaz}} Hell yes.
 +
{{qf|Skinner}} Hmm.
 +
{{qf|Alcatraaaz}} But I'm already payin' a guy for that.
 +
{{qf|[[Superintendent Chalmers]]}} Skinner! I order you to step off, dog. ''[to Skinner]'' I think they're making fun of me, but my wife is very sick.
  
 
{{Season 16|Q}}
 
{{Season 16|Q}}

Latest revision as of 09:39, March 8, 2020


Season 16 Episode Quotes
← 343 "Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass"
344
"Pranksta Rap"
"There's Something About Marrying" 345 →


Bart: Alcatraaaz is wide spread! I'm talkin' da junk!
Lisa: Just what we need. Another lame suburban kid who loves rap.
Bart: So? You like the blues.
Lisa: Yes, but the blues are unpopular.
Bart: Man, are you illin'.
Lisa: Rappers stopped saying "illin'" twelve years ago.
Bart: I'm keepin' it real.
Lisa: They stopped saying "keepin' it real" three years ago.
Bart: Mom, Lisa's dissin' me!
Marge: "Dissin'?" Do rappers still say that?
50 Cent: Yo B, I heard you throw down on stage. Wanna join my world tour?
Bart: Sorry, Fiddy. I have school tomorrow.
50 Cent: You're right—the more you know, the further you'll go. And that's one to grow on. [to his assistant] Does that count as community service?
Assistant: No.
50 Cent: All right. Take me to the park. We'll pick up some dog poo.
Bart: Well, time to face my punishment like a man... Or, lie my way out of it like a kid.
Homer: A flying rock! Call a geologist!
Marge: [reading] "We have kidnapped your son. Follow instructions and Bart will not be harmed."
Homer: "Follow instructions?" He's doomed! [falls to his knees and starts sobbing] This'll be the worst Thanksgiving dinner ever.
Marge: Thanksgiving's not for months.
Homer: The bad news keeps on coming.
Kent Brockman: Tragedy climbed a ladder last night as ten-year-old Bart Simpson was snatched from his bed, his chocolate milk dreams cut short by kidnapping fiends. Mrs. Simpson, is the pain so unbearable you wish your son had never been born?
Marge: Ooh, what a horrible thing to say to a mother.
Brockman: Perhaps reading this message aloud will comfort you.
Marge: [through tears] It's "Win a Hawaiian Getaway Week" on Channel Six. [sobs]
Brockman: So, mail in those pineapple stickers today! Aloha means "one entry per person."
Milhouse: Bart! Are the kidnappers after you?
Bart: Well... some kidnappers might be after me. It's a big world. But in this case, I faked the whole thing.
Milhouse: Why? Are you mad at me?
Bart: No, it's not about you.
Milhouse: [sadly] It's never about me.
Bart: [disguising his voice] This is the kidnapper. Do what I say and Bart won't get hurt.
Homer: Oh yeah? Send a finger wrapped in today's paper to prove you have him.
Marge: Homer!
Homer: I know what I'm doing. [into phone] You can use any section of the paper. Except Metro. It's a big snooze.
Chief Wiggum: All right, boys. Let's get this tape back to the lab for analysis.
Lou: We have a lab?
Wiggum: Yeah, it's that room we keep the Christmas decorations in.
Apu: Oh, Chintzy-Pop is the worst legal popcorn. Many of the kernels are baby teeth.
Homer: Oh son!... Taking your tombstone back to the store will be the happiest thing I've ever done.
Eddie: Chief, we're sorry we didn't have faith in you.
Lou: And I'm sorry I wrote those letters to the editor calling for your ouster.
Wiggum: You're "Worried In West Springfield?"
Lou: Not any more, Chief. Not any more.
Bart: Milhouse, if you tell anyone, I'll tell the world you wet your pants watching Harry Potter.
Milhouse: I wasn't scared, I was just peeing.
Wiggum: Boys, even though I've been made Police Commissioner, don't think I've forgotten you. Lou, you're promoted to chief of police.
Lou: Sweet.
Wiggum: And Eddie, you're promoted to Lou.
Eddie: Nice. And uh, who's gonna be Eddie?
Wiggum: We don't need an Eddie.
Principal Skinner: A chance to bring down Bart Simpson? Our school's second most-wanted criminal after the mysterious El Barto? Hmm... sign me up!
Wiggum: All right, people, we got a situation here. Your daughter's gonna blow our whole deal sky high.
Homer: You leave Maggie to me
Wiggum: No, Lisa!
Homer: Not her! She'll hunt us down relentlessly—like a bloodhound mixed with a student loan officer!
Skinner: Bingo! Thank you, Mr. Alcatraaaz.
Alcatraaaz: Ain't nothin'.
Skinner: Ah, ah, ah. "It is nothing."
Alcatraaaz: It's idiomatic, biatch.
Skinner: Do you think there's a place in the hip-hop world for a forty-something elementary school administrator?
Alcatraaaz: Hell yes.
Skinner: Hmm.
Alcatraaaz: But I'm already payin' a guy for that.
Superintendent Chalmers: Skinner! I order you to step off, dog. [to Skinner] I think they're making fun of me, but my wife is very sick.
Season 16 Quotes
Treehouse of Horror XV • All's Fair in Oven War • Sleeping with the Enemy • She Used to Be My Girl • Fat Man and Little Boy • Midnight Rx • Mommie Beerest • Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass • Pranksta Rap • There's Something About Marrying • On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister • Goo Goo Gai Pan • Mobile Homer • The Seven-Beer Snitch • Future-Drama • Don't Fear the Roofer • The Heartbroke Kid • A Star Is Torn • Thank God It's Doomsday • Home Away from Homer • The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star
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