Difference between revisions of "Take My Life, Please/Quotes"
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| + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Homer, that guy's your age? | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} ''[pouting]'' No, he's ten days younger. | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} So you're saying he'll look like you in ten days? | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} If he's lucky. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Principal Dondelinger]]}} I've never heard a speech so bad. Ten days detention! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Guys that popular and confident are never truly happy. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} He looks happy. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Tears of a clown. | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} He's not crying and he's not known for clowning. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Exception that proves the rule. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Listen, settle a bet: behind that smile you're dying, right? | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Vance Connor]]}} Behind this smile is a bigger smile trying to get out. Oh. Oh here it comes! Oh yeah! | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Please! You've gotta have some secret agony! I bet those fancy shoes hurt your feet. | ||
| + | {{qf|Vance Connor}} No, actually they're like two leather clouds! Got 'em from a buddy of mine with a store in [[Shelbyville]]. You want his number? | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} No. Yes. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Carl Carlson]]}} Lenny, uh, I think it's time for us to come clean. | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Lenny Leonard]]}} About how we give each other haircuts? | ||
| + | {{qf|Carl}} No, we'll take that secret to our graves. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Lenny! Wake up! | ||
| + | {{qf|Lenny}} Finally, you returned my shovel. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} That's not why I'm here. Get dressed. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Yes! I'm Senior Class President! I get a parking spot if the Assistant Principal isn't using it! Wait a second. If I'd been Class President like I was supposed to, I'd be the one with the big mansion and the color TVs and the hot wife! | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Hey! | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Marge, I still would be married to you, but you would just be hotter. | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} Ooh. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} Dad, just because you won a high school election doesn't mean your whole life would have been better. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} That's exactly what it means. And Dondelinger took that life away from me. And the taking of a life is murder. And the punishment for murder is... well, it varies from state to state and by race... but I'm gonna find Dondelinger and tell him I know what he did last summer... twenty-two years ago... in the winter! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} Homie, you're barely eating. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Yeah, I can actually see your hands. They're not just a blur. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Old Italian man]]}} Watch the sauce. You see what I see. | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} I see a hair. | ||
| + | {{qf|Old Italian man}} You see too much. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} I would've been a winner, instead of some idiot spending his Saturday night staring into a bowl of sauce. Why did fate do this to me? | ||
| + | {{qf|Old Italian man}} Ask-a the garlic bread. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Why? Why? | ||
| + | {{qf|Old Italian man}} ''[scoffs]'' Hey everyone! The stupid fat man's talking to garlic bread! ''[cackles]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Teenage [[Selma]]}} Who's that side of beef munchin' on our sister? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Teenage [[Patty]]}} I don't know, but in this reality, I am not gay! Hubba hubba! | |
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---- | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Now let's get something to eat. | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} How 'bout Italian? | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} God no! | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} I hear there's a Korean barbeque place where the beef spells out the date of your death. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Ooh, that sounds like fun! | ||
| − | + | {{Season 20|Q}} | |
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| − | {{Season 20 Q}} | ||
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Latest revision as of 12:50, April 25, 2024
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- Bart: Homer, that guy's your age?
- Homer: [pouting] No, he's ten days younger.
- Lisa: So you're saying he'll look like you in ten days?
- Homer: If he's lucky.
- Principal Dondelinger: I've never heard a speech so bad. Ten days detention!
- Homer: Guys that popular and confident are never truly happy.
- Bart: He looks happy.
- Homer: Tears of a clown.
- Lisa: He's not crying and he's not known for clowning.
- Homer: Exception that proves the rule.
- Homer: Listen, settle a bet: behind that smile you're dying, right?
- Vance Connor: Behind this smile is a bigger smile trying to get out. Oh. Oh here it comes! Oh yeah!
- Homer: Please! You've gotta have some secret agony! I bet those fancy shoes hurt your feet.
- Vance Connor: No, actually they're like two leather clouds! Got 'em from a buddy of mine with a store in Shelbyville. You want his number?
- Homer: No. Yes.
- Carl Carlson: Lenny, uh, I think it's time for us to come clean.
- Lenny Leonard: About how we give each other haircuts?
- Carl: No, we'll take that secret to our graves.
- Homer: Lenny! Wake up!
- Lenny: Finally, you returned my shovel.
- Homer: That's not why I'm here. Get dressed.
- Homer: Yes! I'm Senior Class President! I get a parking spot if the Assistant Principal isn't using it! Wait a second. If I'd been Class President like I was supposed to, I'd be the one with the big mansion and the color TVs and the hot wife!
- Marge: Hey!
- Homer: Marge, I still would be married to you, but you would just be hotter.
- Marge: Ooh.
- Lisa: Dad, just because you won a high school election doesn't mean your whole life would have been better.
- Homer: That's exactly what it means. And Dondelinger took that life away from me. And the taking of a life is murder. And the punishment for murder is... well, it varies from state to state and by race... but I'm gonna find Dondelinger and tell him I know what he did last summer... twenty-two years ago... in the winter!
- Marge: Homie, you're barely eating.
- Bart: Yeah, I can actually see your hands. They're not just a blur.
- Old Italian man: Watch the sauce. You see what I see.
- Marge: I see a hair.
- Old Italian man: You see too much.
- Homer: I would've been a winner, instead of some idiot spending his Saturday night staring into a bowl of sauce. Why did fate do this to me?
- Old Italian man: Ask-a the garlic bread.
- Homer: Why? Why?
- Old Italian man: [scoffs] Hey everyone! The stupid fat man's talking to garlic bread! [cackles]
- Teenage Selma: Who's that side of beef munchin' on our sister?
- Teenage Patty: I don't know, but in this reality, I am not gay! Hubba hubba!
- Homer: Now let's get something to eat.
- Lisa: How 'bout Italian?
- Homer: God no!
- Bart: I hear there's a Korean barbeque place where the beef spells out the date of your death.
- Homer: Ooh, that sounds like fun!
