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Difference between revisions of "The Old Man and the "C" Student/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
< The Old Man and the "C" Student
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{{TabQ
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{{TabQ}}
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|episode=The Old Man and the "C" Student
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Mom and Pop Art|Monty Can't Buy Me Love}}
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}}
 
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:''[The mail carrier rings]''
 
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:'''[[Homer]:''' I'll get it! ''[laughs]''
 
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:'''Mail carrier:''' Package for Mr. Simpson.
 
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:'''Homer:''' ''[closes the door]'' Hmmm. Woohoo! My Springs! They finally came!
 
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:'''[[Marge]]:''' Homer, they just cut you off for Bart Simpson's comedy.
 
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:'''Homer:''' Not now, Marge.
 
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:'''Marge:''' But we lost the Olympics to Shelbyville.
 
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:'''Homer:''' But I'll have fun selling these springs.
 
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:'''Marge:''' To who?
 
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:'''Homer:''' Idiots. Ooh, these are fun!"
 
  
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{{qf|[[Mayor Quimby]]}} And we will do anything, including but not limited to anything, to make your stay here tolerable.
 +
{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} Yes, you'll be completely above the law. Uh, women, guns, cash, uh, whatever you need—it's yours.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I've never wanted a beer worse in my life. ''[Marge hands him a beer]'' I love you, honey.
 +
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Are you talking to me or the beer?
 +
{{qf|Homer}} To you, my bubbly, long-necked, beechwood-aged lover.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Superintendent Chalmers]]}} Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to my vacation at [[Lake Titicaca]]. Let's see you make a joke out of that, Mr. Smart Guy!
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Old Jewish man]]}} Hello, let's hear some numbers. I got a nice diagonal goin'.
 +
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} B-3.
 +
{{qf|[[Jasper Beardley]]}} You sunk my battleship!
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:''[seniors laughs]''
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{{qf|Lisa}} G-52.
 +
{{qf|Jasper}} You sunk my battleship!
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:''[seniors laughs]''
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Grampa]]}} Oh, I got a bingo! What do I win?
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} A banana!
 +
{{qf|Grampa}} A whole one?
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} Yep!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} That's the prize?! A banana?
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} Their natural mushiness prevents choking and promotes regularity.
 +
{{qf|Bart}} They're not babies, Lisa. Give 'em something fun, like cigars or booze.
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} We tried giving them eggnog at Christmas, but it led to widespread de-shawling.
 +
{{qf|Old Jewish man}} And that's what they get for wearing such tight little shawls.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Marge}} So, Bart, how was your first day of forced volunteerism?
 +
{{qf|Bart}} That place sucks! The nurses don't let Grampa do anything. They practically chew his food for him.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Lucky stiff. I'm working my ass off here.
 
----
 
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{{qf|Grampa}} If I get up, somebody'll take my chair.
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:''[At [[Moe's]]]''
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{{qf|Jasper}} Got that right. It's the only one left with padding.
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:'''Homer:''' Hey, Lenny, want some nuts? ''[shows a can]''
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{{qf|Seniors}} ''[rubbing the chair enviously]'' Padding...
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:'''[[Lenny]]:''' Hey, thanks. ''[Opens the can. Springs spring out and one stucks in Lenny's eye]'' Ow, my eye! ''[Homer laughs]''
 
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:'''[[Moe]]:''' Homer, get out of here.
 
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:'''Homer:''' Boy, Moe, you sure look angry. Want some nuts?
 
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:'''Moe:''' Thank you, I love nuts. ''[Opens the can and a spring stucks in Moe's eye]'' Ow! God, my eye!
 
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{{qf|Bart}} Full speed ahead! Damn the torpedoes!
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:''[At the Simpsons house]''
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{{qf|Grampa}} What did he say? Put on our tuxedoes?
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:'''Homer:''' Welcome to the kitchen of tomorrow, today! Marge, how much would you pay for a self flipping hamburger pan?
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{{qf|Old Jewish man}} I want some taquitos.
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:'''Marge:''' Nothing.
 
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:'''Homer:''' Don't ask yet! Watch how easy it is to flip hamburgers with the help of God's latest creation, the springs. ''[The casserole has springs under it. The burgers jump on the air and the oil burns Homer. He screams.]'' Some second-degree burns but some first class burgers!
 
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:'''Marge:''' Homer, get rid of these springs!
 
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:'''Homer:''' But you haven't seen the baby of tomorrow! ''[Maggie is full of springs]'' Now, if I drop her, no more tears! ''[He uses her as a basketball ball]''
 
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:'''Marge.''' Give me my baby!
 
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:'''Homer:''' Give it up, Marge, I'm coming through the hole!
 
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:'''Marge:''' Homer, I'm not sure that's a good idea. I want these springs out of our house ''today''!
 
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{{qf|Grampa}} Medication time? Hot dog! Gimme, gimme, gimme!
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:''[Inside the bathroom, Homer flushes the springs down the toilet]''
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:''[the old folks clamor around for their medication]''
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:'''Homer:''' ''[Singing]'' You flush one down, it swirls around. Nine hundred and ninety nine springs to flush down!
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{{qf|Bart}} But I've set you free. No more nap time, no more bingo. You can do whatever you want!
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:''Marge:''' ''[Knocks the door]'' You're not flushing those springs down our toilet, are you?
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{{qf|[[Sweet elderly lady]]}} Let's play bingo!
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:'''Homer:''' Of course not! Nine hundred and ninety six springs to flush down, nine hundred and ninety six springs!
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{{qf|Grampa}} Yeah, let's play bingo!
−
 
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{{qf|Jasper}} You sunk my battleship.
 +
:''[seniors laughs]''
 
----
 
----
 +
{{qf|Bart}} Oh, it's not fair. I'm not supposed to die now. I'm supposed to die in a foolish motorcycle stunt at the age of fifteen.
 +
{{qf|{{Ch|Jack LaLanne}}}} Ha, ha! You're not dead yet, you pudgy little pisher.
  
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:''[The boat, with all of the old people, Bart and Lisa, is sinking. When it does, it goes up again]''
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{{Season 10|Q}}
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:'''[[Bart]]:''' What the heck's going on?
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{{DEFAULTSORT:Old Man and the "C" Student/Quotes}}
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:''[The springs Homer flushes down the toilet come from a pipe and make the boat to spring back up]''
 
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:'''Homer:''' ''[heard singing]'' A hundred and thirty five springs to flush down, a hundred and thirty five springs!
 
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{{Season 10 Q}}
 

Latest revision as of 11:06, October 28, 2024


Season 10 Episode Quotes
← 222 "Mom and Pop Art"
223
"The Old Man and the "C" Student"
"Monty Can't Buy Me Love" 224 →


Mayor Quimby: And we will do anything, including but not limited to anything, to make your stay here tolerable.
Chief Wiggum: Yes, you'll be completely above the law. Uh, women, guns, cash, uh, whatever you need—it's yours.
Homer: I've never wanted a beer worse in my life. [Marge hands him a beer] I love you, honey.
Marge: Are you talking to me or the beer?
Homer: To you, my bubbly, long-necked, beechwood-aged lover.
Superintendent Chalmers: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to my vacation at Lake Titicaca. Let's see you make a joke out of that, Mr. Smart Guy!
Old Jewish man: Hello, let's hear some numbers. I got a nice diagonal goin'.
Lisa: B-3.
Jasper Beardley: You sunk my battleship!
[seniors laughs]
Lisa: G-52.
Jasper: You sunk my battleship!
[seniors laughs]
Grampa: Oh, I got a bingo! What do I win?
Lisa: A banana!
Grampa: A whole one?
Lisa: Yep!
Bart: That's the prize?! A banana?
Lisa: Their natural mushiness prevents choking and promotes regularity.
Bart: They're not babies, Lisa. Give 'em something fun, like cigars or booze.
Lisa: We tried giving them eggnog at Christmas, but it led to widespread de-shawling.
Old Jewish man: And that's what they get for wearing such tight little shawls.
Marge: So, Bart, how was your first day of forced volunteerism?
Bart: That place sucks! The nurses don't let Grampa do anything. They practically chew his food for him.
Homer: Lucky stiff. I'm working my ass off here.
Grampa: If I get up, somebody'll take my chair.
Jasper: Got that right. It's the only one left with padding.
Seniors: [rubbing the chair enviously] Padding...
Bart: Full speed ahead! Damn the torpedoes!
Grampa: What did he say? Put on our tuxedoes?
Old Jewish man: I want some taquitos.
Grampa: Medication time? Hot dog! Gimme, gimme, gimme!
[the old folks clamor around for their medication]
Bart: But I've set you free. No more nap time, no more bingo. You can do whatever you want!
Sweet elderly lady: Let's play bingo!
Grampa: Yeah, let's play bingo!
Jasper: You sunk my battleship.
[seniors laughs]
Bart: Oh, it's not fair. I'm not supposed to die now. I'm supposed to die in a foolish motorcycle stunt at the age of fifteen.
Jack LaLanne: Ha, ha! You're not dead yet, you pudgy little pisher.
Season 10 Quotes
Lard of the Dance • The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace • Bart the Mother • Treehouse of Horror IX • When You Dish Upon a Star • D'oh-in' in the Wind • Lisa Gets an "A" • Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble" • Mayored to the Mob • Viva Ned Flanders • Wild Barts Can't Be Broken • Sunday, Cruddy Sunday • Homer to the Max • I'm with Cupid • Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers" • Make Room for Lisa • Maximum Homerdrive • Simpsons Bible Stories • Mom and Pop Art • The Old Man and the "C" Student • Monty Can't Buy Me Love • They Saved Lisa's Brain • Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo
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