Difference between revisions of "Bart vs. Itchy & Scratchy/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 06:39, August 5, 2020

Nelson: You betrayed us, Bart. And worse, you betrayed your own wang.

Bart: You know what? Yes, I laughed at a cartoon. Why? Because it was funny. So what if Itchy and Scratchy are girls? I laughed, and you can't take back the laugh.

Jimbo: Girls aren't funny. They're hot, or moms.

Nelson: Or both.

Milhouse: Gentlemen, our way of life is under attack.

Kearney: Hear, hear!

Milhouse: Society is trying to erase boys. They give us drugs that make us do girly things, like pay attention.

Nelson: They're putting drugs in our medication?

Milhouse:We need to band together. Like a sorority, but for dudes. I give you the Boys Rights Association.

Boys: BRA!

Milhouse: B-R-A. Right now, we're just training BRAs.

Dolph: Mm-hmm.

Milhouse: But soon, we'll be the strongest, most supportive BRAs anyone has ever seen.

Boys: [chanting] We are BRAs! We are BRAs!

Lisa: Bossy Riot is so cool. We need fearless female activists to fight back against misogyny and man-spreading.

Bart: Well, whoever they are, they are the coolest badasses this town has ever seen, whoever they are.

Lisa: Bart, are you in Bossy Riot?

Bart: No way.

Lisa: Ah, good. Because if you were fighting for women's rights, it would destroy my entire vision of the universe.

Bart: Actually, I totally am.

Lisa: [shouts] You can't be an activist for women's rights. You don't know anything about the feminist cause.

Bart: Sure I do. Chicks get a raw deal. I'm a little fuzzy on the deets, but take my word for it.

Lisa: [groans] It's all about the deets. You're not a girl. You just want to spray-paint the world and watch it drip. You've never been called shrill just because you speak up. And-and girls' clothing has no pockets, while yours are lousy with pockets!

Bart: This is good stuff, I got to write it down.

Lisa: This is someone else's war, and you, y-you're just a mercenary.

Bart: Mercenaries are cool, like Boba Fett.

Homer: Oh, yeah, Boba Fett, great character.

Bart: Boba Fett's badass. He wears a jetpack and a cape.

Homer: Pick a lane, weirdo.

Lisa: Why does every discussion about feminism turn into an argument about Star Wars?

Homer: If Boba Fett's such a great bounty hunter, why is his armor all banged up?

Bart: [Sighs] It's a look, like distressed denim.

Lisa: You shouldn't be part of a protest if you don't care about the cause.

Bart: Well, you care. Why don't you come with?

Lisa: Maybe I will.

Bart: Great. Bring black gloves and no ID. You've been Tasered before, right? It only hurts until you pass out.

Lisa: I'm excited. I want to, I do, but... there's a part of me that's scared, and that part is my body and my head.

Bart: It's okay, I get it. There's nothing wrong with being all talk. Us feminists need cheerleaders, too.

[a pile of Krusty memorabilia is burning]

Milhouse: I told you not to light the toys yet!

Nelson: I didn't. They just burst into flames.

Nelson: Spill it, Simpson. You were on the inside. What's the deal with girls?

Bart: Well, check this out: they also burp.

Nelson: No way! From where?

Milhouse: Is that even allowed?

Bart: Let's see, what else? They're always telling each other they're pretty. Their bathroom candy tastes really weird. But there's one thing that really crushed me. I almost don't want to say it out loud. They don't envy us.

[the boys tear up]