Difference between revisions of "Bart the Murderer/Quotes"
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| − | + | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|When Flanders Failed|Homer Defined}} | |
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| − | {{ | + | :''[A press conference about a hijacked Laramie Cigarettes truck, to which Fat Tony is considered the chief suspect.]'' |
| − | [[ | + | {{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} Fat Tony is a cancer upon Springfield! And I am the, uh, whatever cures cancer. |
| + | {{qf|Reporter}} People have been demanding to know what will happen about the resulting tobacco shortage in Springfield. | ||
| + | {{qf|Chief Wiggum}} I will now turn it over to a spokesman from Laramie Cigarettes. | ||
| + | {{qf|Laramie Spokesman}} I am sorry to hear of the hijacking. To make up for this Laramie Tobacco has sent a new truck to Springfield, and the driver has been specifically instructed to ignore all stop signs and crosswalks. | ||
| + | {{qf|Audience}} YAY! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Uh, say, are you guys crooks? | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Fat Tony|(Fat) Tony]]}} Bart, um, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family? | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} No. | ||
| + | {{qf|Tony}} Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread to feed them? | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Uh uh. | ||
| + | {{qf|Tony}} And, what if your family don't like bread? They like... cigarettes? | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} I guess that's okay. | ||
| + | {{qf|Tony}} Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime, Bart? | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Hell, no! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :''[Bart's nightmare. Bart is running in an open field. An undead Skinner comes out of his grave.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Skinner]]'s Ghost}} You killed me Bart! | ||
| + | :''[Bart runs to a shack near a cliff and opens the door. There he sees an undead Skinner who was lynched.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Skinner's Ghost}} You killed me Bart! | ||
| + | :''[Bart then finds himself in an unnamed prison, which has a neon sign that flashes like a discotechque.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Sign}} DEATH HOUSE. | ||
| + | :''[A mob of angry people have come to see Bart's execution, among them Homer.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Yeah! Fry my boy! | ||
| + | :''[Cell. In the only quiet part of dream, a prison guard lets Reverend Lovejoy into Bart's cell.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Reverend Lovejoy? Have you come to give me my condolences? | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} As a matter of tradition more than anything. | ||
| + | :''Reverend Lovejoy pats Bart's shoulder ½-heartedly.'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} ''[wooden]'' There, there. There, there. | ||
| + | :''[Electric chair. Bart is strapped to electric chair and executioner pulls switch. The horror of being executied sufficienly scares Bart awake.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} AAAUUUGH! | ||
| + | |||
| + | {{Season 3|Q}} | ||
Latest revision as of 08:33, November 11, 2018
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- [A press conference about a hijacked Laramie Cigarettes truck, to which Fat Tony is considered the chief suspect.]
- Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer upon Springfield! And I am the, uh, whatever cures cancer.
- Reporter: People have been demanding to know what will happen about the resulting tobacco shortage in Springfield.
- Chief Wiggum: I will now turn it over to a spokesman from Laramie Cigarettes.
- Laramie Spokesman: I am sorry to hear of the hijacking. To make up for this Laramie Tobacco has sent a new truck to Springfield, and the driver has been specifically instructed to ignore all stop signs and crosswalks.
- Audience: YAY!
- Bart: Uh, say, are you guys crooks?
- (Fat) Tony: Bart, um, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family?
- Bart: No.
- Tony: Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread to feed them?
- Bart: Uh uh.
- Tony: And, what if your family don't like bread? They like... cigarettes?
- Bart: I guess that's okay.
- Tony: Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime, Bart?
- Bart: Hell, no!
- [Bart's nightmare. Bart is running in an open field. An undead Skinner comes out of his grave.]
- Skinner's Ghost: You killed me Bart!
- [Bart runs to a shack near a cliff and opens the door. There he sees an undead Skinner who was lynched.]
- Skinner's Ghost: You killed me Bart!
- [Bart then finds himself in an unnamed prison, which has a neon sign that flashes like a discotechque.]
- Sign: DEATH HOUSE.
- [A mob of angry people have come to see Bart's execution, among them Homer.]
- Homer: Yeah! Fry my boy!
- [Cell. In the only quiet part of dream, a prison guard lets Reverend Lovejoy into Bart's cell.]
- Bart: Reverend Lovejoy? Have you come to give me my condolences?
- Reverend Lovejoy: As a matter of tradition more than anything.
- Reverend Lovejoy pats Bart's shoulder ½-heartedly.
- Reverend Lovejoy: [wooden] There, there. There, there.
- [Electric chair. Bart is strapped to electric chair and executioner pulls switch. The horror of being executied sufficienly scares Bart awake.]
- Bart: AAAUUUGH!
