Wikisimpsons - User contributions [en]

Kearney Zzyzwicz

2011-12-17T14:10:27Z

Iamred: /* Trivia */

''For Kearney, the dwarf in a story based on {{W|Snow White and the Seven Dwarves}}, see: [[Kearney (Four Great Women and a Manicure)]]''.
{{Character
|name = Kearney Zzyzwicz
|image = [[File:Kearney Zzyzwicz.png|200px]]
|gender = {{Male}}
|hair = Buzz cut (Shaved)
|age = 23
|status = Alive
|job = School bully
|relatives='''Son:''' [[Kearney, Jr.]]<br>'''Father:''' [[Kearney, Sr.]]<br>Unknown wife
|appearance = "[[The Telltale Head]]"
|voiced by = [[Nancy Cartwright]]
}}

'''Kearney Zzyzwicz''' is one of the school bullies of [[Springfield Elementary]]. He appears to be the ugliest and toughest of the bullies, and is very easily distracted.

== Biography ==
Kearney is 23 years old. He has a father named [[Kearney, Sr.]], a mother named [[Mrs. Zzyzwicz]]. Although he looks (and sounds) to be around [[Jimbo]] or [[Dolph]]'s age, Kearney has a young son named [[Kearney, Jr.]] (it is not known who the mother is), he is the only present Springfield Elementary School student that celebrated the United States Bicentennial (that is, was alive in 1976) and shaves his beard. Strangely, he once needed a fake ID to purchase beer.

Kearney drives a Hyundai Stellar. Skinner tried to take off the H to replace the 'H' logo stolen from [[Superintendent Chalmers]]' Honda Accord. Kearney catches him in the act, forcing Skinner to flee. Kearney is also seen driving an orange Volkswagen Beetle

Kearney is seen smoking in the room where [[Bart Simpson|Bart]], [[Nelson Muntz|Nelson]], Jimbo, and Dolph are trapped in, during Superintendent Chalmers's visit.

[[Otto Man|Otto]] once stated that he and Kearney both went to Springfield Elementary School together, only for Kearney to reply that they are unable to teach him, which is his reason for why he is still in the school despite being 23. Kearney needs glasses but doesn't use them.

=== Family ===
[[File:KearneyJr.png|thumb|200px|Little Kearney]]
==== Son ====
{{main|Kearney, Jr.}}
Kearney's son looks exactly like him, though younger and sounding like [[Ralph Wiggum]]. He was able to overcome his parent's divorce by sleeping in a drawer at night. He is also considered smarter than Kearney, since when he was sitting on [[Gil]]'s lap when he was dressed up as [[Santa Claus]], he believed he is the real Santa Claus and his son knew immediately he was a fake. Kearney's son seems to be a young child but Kearney says that is speaking "as a teenager and parent of a teenager" although he probably has some other child that he was talking about.

==== Wife ====
Kearney has been married to an unnamed (and unmentioned) wife. The only details given though were that he had to divorce with her, because Kearney didn't want his parents to find out. Kearney has said that he misses having sex with her, though it also mentioned in one episode that Kearney dated Jimbo's mother.

==== Father ====
{{main|Kearney, Sr.}}
Kearney's father does not interact much with [[The Simpsons]]. One time he attacked Homer in Moe's Tavern after he was trying to have their sons stop bullying his own son, Bart. He hits him with a pool stick at Homer's head, which has him stunned yet not knocked out (a condition that would have him become a boxer later). The bullies' father then leave at gunpoint by Moe to not hit Homer if not having two drinks minimum.

==== Mother ====
Kearney's mother is not seen but is said to suffer from clinical depression, for which she is being treated with medication. Kearney's points to the medication as the primary reason behind her recent weight gain. She is either in a mental clinic or jail.

== Non-Canon Appearance ==
{{Noncanon}}
It was revealed that Kearney, Jimbo, and Dolph were bullied by nerds. Bart then taught them that nerds are "all talk and no action" and they learned to "stand up" for themselves. Bart was later caught in the crossfire when his own creation backfired.

=== Future ===
Kearney becomes the Vice-Principal of Springfield Elementary (the principal is still Seymour Skinner), however none of his bullying traits are seen. He will also be [[Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]'s bodyguard when she becomes the USA president, saying his contract gives him three people to kill in each term.

=== The Simpsons Game ===
Kearney appears as one of the three museum thieves that Bart and Homer must defeat.<ref>[[Bartman Begins]]</ref> He also appears as one of the contestants in the Duff Ultimate Eating Challenge.<ref>[[Around the World in 80 Bites]]</ref>

== Behind the Laughter ==
Kearney was created from "Kearney Street" in {{W|Portland}}, {{W|Oregon}}, where [[Matt Groening]] grew up.

== Trivia ==
*He also owns his own tuxedo, although he isn't seen wearing it.
*Kearney needs to wear glasses.<ref>"[[Moms I'd Like to Forget]]"</ref>
*He may have Polish ancestry, due to his surname "Zzyzwicz".

== Appearances ==
{{Incomplete}}
{{Scroll|
*{{ep|The Telltale Head}}
*{{ep|Bart Gets an F}}
*{{ep|Dead Putting Society}}
*{{ep|Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment}}
*{{ep|The War of the Simpsons}}
*{{ep|Whacking Day}}
*{{ep|Kamp Krusty}}
*{{ep|Selma's Choice}}
*{{ep|I Love Lisa}}
*{{ep|This Little Wiggy}}
*{{ep|The PTA Disbands}}
*{{ep|A Milhouse Divided}}
*{{ep|The Homer They Fall}}
*{{ep|Lisa's Date with Density}}
*{{ep|Skinner's Sense of Snow}}
*{{ep|Bye Bye Nerdie}}
*{{ep|Special Edna}}
*{{ep|'Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky}}
*{{THOH|Treehouse of Horror XVI}}
*{{ep|Marge Gamer}}
*{{ep|The Mook, The Chef, The Wife and Her Homer}}
*{{ep|24 Minutes}}
*{{mov}}
*{{THOH|Treehouse of Horror XIX}}
*{{ep|I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings}}
*{{ep|The Great Wife Hope}}
*{{ep|Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou?}}
*{{ep|Moms I'd Like to Forget}}
*{{ep|Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts}}
*{{Ep|Replaceable You}}
*{{bon|Comic Fan No More}}
*{{bon|Spree For All}}
*{{bk|Simpsons World The Ultimate Episode Guide: Seasons 1-20}}
*{{game|The Simpsons: Hit and Run}}
*{{game|The Simpsons Game}}
}}

== References ==
{{Images|Kearney}}
<references/>

{{Simpsons characters}}
{{Simpsons World factfiles|4=yes}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Zzyzwicz, Kearney}}

[[Category:Recurring characters]]
[[Category:Male characters]]
[[Category:Adults]]
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Springfield Elementary School students]]
[[Category:Characters voiced by Nancy Cartwright]]
[[Category:Fathers]]

Lionel Hutz

2011-11-18T18:41:27Z

Iamred:

{{Character
|name = Lionel Hutz
|image = [[File:Lionel Hutz.png|200px]]
|gender = {{Male}}
|hair = Brown
|age =
|status = Alive
|job = Various
|relatives = '''Ex-Wife:''' [[Selma Bouvier]]
|appearance = "[[Bart Gets Hit By A Car]]"
|voiced by = [[Phil Hartman]]
}}

'''Lionel Hutz''' is a lawyer in [[Springfield]], an albeit and incompetent one who is always desperate for cases, few of which he wins. Hutz is financially unsound, extremely poor and willing to do nearly anything for cash.

== Character ==
He is an inept ambulance chaser and, to quote [[Lisa Simpson|Lisa]], a "shyster" whom the Simpsons nonetheless repeatedly hired as their lawyer (a fact remarked on by [[Marge Simpson|Marge]] in a typically self-aware aside) most likely because they can't afford a better lawyer. At one point, he claims to have graduated from Princeton school of law, although Princeton has never had a law school. His legal practice, located in a shopping mall, was named "[[I Can't Believe It's A Law Firm!]]". He often tried to entice potential clients with free gifts, including a "smoking monkey" doll and a business card that "turns into a sponge when you put it in water" to which [[Homer Simpson]] was impressed with. Lionel Hutz is an occasional person to appear in The Simpsons' lives and sometimes plays central roles in events involving them. Marge distrusts Lionel Hutz because he is an incompetent lawyer, even remarking once during a trial "We really should stop hiring him." Hutz was also briefly married to [[Selma Bouvier]], as when Homer asks her to marry Apu for his citizenship she says her name with 3 husband names added (Terwilliger, Hutz, McClure) and was long enough without Apu's long surname.

== Disabilities ==
Hutz is a recovering addict; also at one time he hastily left the courtroom after handling a bottle of bourbon in order to consult his sponsor, musician David Crosby. Also, Hutz referred to bourbon as "brownest of the brown liquors" and offered to share with Marge and Homer "a belt of scotch" at 9AM, explaining that he "hadn't slept in days."

== Jobs Oustside of Law ==
Beyond the law, he also tried his hand at selling real estate <ref>Episode ''[[Realty Bites]]''</ref>. When Homer hired him to babysit the Simpson children, he had renamed himself '''Miguel Sanchez''' following some trouble that prompted him to change his identity and burn all his personal papers, and he was also known as '''Dr. Nguyen Van Phuoc''', a Vietnamese name, in addition to Mr. Sanchez. He also won the role as 'Mitch' in the musical adaption of 'A Street Car Named Desire', whilst simultaneously suing the troupe on behalf of the people who were not cast. He may also be a drug dealer, as when Milhouse lands the role of Fallout Boy, Hutz barges up to him and one of the services offered was "drug deal- errrrrr.... keeper awayer". He has also attended an adult education course.

== Cases won ==
[[File:I can't believe it's a law firm.PNG|thumb|right|Hutz law firm [[I Can't Believe It's A Law Firm!‎]].]]
Although Hutz loses almost all of his cases, he did win several cases for the Simpsons, for instance representing [[Homer Simpson|Homer]] in his case against [[Captain McAllister]] and the Frying Dutchman restaurant over its "All You Can Eat" offer. While the [[Blue Haired Lawyer]] tried to show that Homer's eating was far beyond what could reasonably be expected out of an all-you-can-eat offer, Hutz won by putting Marge on the stand and having her reveal the desperate actions she and Homer took after they were kicked out of the restaurant. At Hutz´ urging, Marge tearfully admitted that after searching for another All You Can Eat fish restaurant until 3AM, Homer and Marge "went fishing." Considering Marge's honest nature, it is unlikely that she was lying. The case was helped by the fact that the entire jury was made up of obese jurors. Captain McAllister then struck a deal with Homer, offering him all he could eat in exchange for using him as a sort of freakshow attraction to get more customers.<ref>"[[New Kid on the Block]]"</ref>

Another case he won for one of the Simpsons was when [[Bart]] discovered that an old tramp named [[Chester J. Lampwick]] was the real creator of ''[[The Itchy & Scratchy Show]]'', which was proved by an old drawing by Lampwick. Roger Myers (who had falsely claimed credit for the creation) then had to pay him $800 billion, which forced the [[Itchy & Scratchy Studios]] to close down for a short time. Although this had nothing to do with Hutz's skills as a lawyer.<ref>"[[The Day the Violence Died]]"</ref>

Hutz also won another case when Bart sued Krusty after he got appendicitis after eating a piece of jagged metal that was being given away as a prize in his cereal that wasn't even in the safety package all prizes are held in. The case was won and Bart was given $100,000 in compensation. $99,500 of which was taken by Hutz who'd assembled a team of phony lawyers to make it seem to Bart that it was necessary.<ref>"[['Round Springfield]]"</ref>

=== Non-Canon ===
Hutz additionally represented Homer against the [[Devil]] ([[Ned Flanders]]). At issue was the rightful owner of Homer Simpson's soul. In a hastily assembled courtroom in the Simpsons' living room, before a jury of the damned, Hutz discussed competently the nature of a contract, although his argument ironically was harmful to Homer. Despite the fact that the contract between Homer and the Devil clearly awarded Homer's soul to the Devil upon Homer's consumption of the 'forbidden donut', the jury found a note from Homer to Marge sying that he pledged his soul to her for all eternity thus his soul was not to rightfully give up to the Devil causing them rule in favor of Homer. In retribution for losing the court case, Homer was cursed by the Devil and his head was turned into a giant donut. The case was not won so much for Hutz's skill as an attorney, but by Marge's introduction of the relevant evidence (the photo with a note from Homer on the back, granting his soul to Marge).<ref>"[[Treehouse of Horror IV]]"</ref>

==Behind the Laughter==
=== Retirement ===
The character was retired after [[Phil Hartman|Hartman's murder]] in 1998, as well as his other main character [[Troy McClure]]. Since the Simpson family frequently appears in court,<ref>Often enough for Lisa, in ''[[The Parent Rap]]'' to be on a first-name basis with a court officer.</ref> other characters have represented the Simpsons in legal matters since the retirement,  ranging from just as incompetent to actually knowing what they're doing. For example, in ''[[Sweets and Sour Marge]]'', the equally-incompetent [[Gil Gunderson|Gil]] stepped in. The [[Blue-Haired Lawyer]] has also served as the family's attorney, Lionel Hutz still appears infrequently in clip shows and flashbacks, as well as crowd scenes, but only in non-speaking roles. Hutz and McClure still appear in [[Simpsons Comics]], as a voice actor is not needed.

== Appearances ==
{{scroll|
* {{ep|Bart Gets Hit by a Car}}
* {{ep|Old Money}}
* {{ep|When Flanders Failed}}
* {{ep|Bart the Murderer}}
* {{ep|Flaming Moe's}}
* {{ep|A Streetcar Named Marge}}
* {{ep|Marge Gets a Job}}
* {{ep|New Kid on the Block}}
* {{ep|Marge vs. The Monorail}}
* {{ep|Selma's Choice}}
* {{ep|Duffless}}
* {{ep|Marge in Chains}}
* {{ep|Rosebud}}
* {{ep|Marge on the Lam}}
* {{ep|Treehouse of Horror IV}}
* {{ep|Bart's Inner Child}}
* {{ep|The Last Temptation of Homer}}
* {{ep|Homer the Vigilante}}
* {{ep|The Boy Who Knew Too Much}}
* {{ep|Burns' Heir}}
* {{ep|Secrets of a Successful Marriage}}
* {{ep|Sideshow Bob Roberts}}
* {{ep|Homer the Great}}
* {{ep|'Round Springfield}}
* {{ep|The Springfield Connection}}
* {{ep|Who Shot Mr. Burns?}}
* {{ep|Radioactive Man}}
* {{ep|Lisa the Iconoclast}}
* {{ep|The Day the Violence Died}}
* {{ep|22 Short Films About Springfield}}
* {{ep|Much Apu About Nothing}}
* {{ep|Burns, Baby Burns}}
* {{ep|Bart After Dark}}
* {{ep|Hurricane Neddy}}
* {{ep|The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show}}
* {{ep|Brother from Another Series}}
* {{ep|In Marge We Trust}}
* {{ep|The Principal and the Pauper}}
* {{ep|Lisa the Skeptic}}
* {{ep|Realty Bites}}
* {{ep|Trash of the Titans}}
* {{ep|The Trouble with Trillions}}
* {{ep|Lost Our Lisa|(non-speaking)}}
* {{ep|The Joy of Sect}}
* {{ep|A Tale of Two Springfields|(non-speaking)}}
* {{bon|The Amazing Colossal Homer}}
* {{Bk|Simpsons World The Ultimate Episode Guide: Seasons 1-20}}
}}

== References ==
{{Reflist}}

{{Simpsons characters}}
{{Simpsons World factfiles|2=yes}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Hutz, Lionel}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Adults]]
[[Category:Retired Characters]]
[[Category:Characters voiced by Phil Hartman]]
[[Category:Recurring characters]]

User:Iamred

2011-11-18T18:39:19Z

Iamred: /* Favourite Quotes */

{{User
|name= Iamred
|realname= James
|image= [[File:England 5.PNG|250px]]
|year= {{birthdate|1997|8|19}}
|
|location= Essex, United Kingdom
|rights= None
|languages= English and Spanish
|skills= Good with wiki code, experienced editor. I also use a bot on IRC.
}}

Hi, I'm Iamred. I edit on various wikis.

==Favourite Quotes==

{{Quote|Not the Reichstag!|[[Homer Simpson]]}}

{{Quote|Pizza Pizza Pizza Pizza Pizza Pizza|[[Stephen Hawking]]}}

{{Quote|I'm a registered... something...|[[Moe Szyslak]]}}

{{Quote|I never knew mice lived such interesting lives!|[[Homer Simpson]]}}

{{Quote|Doctors are idiots!|[[Lionel Hutz]]}}

User:Iamred

2011-11-18T18:37:42Z

Iamred: /* Favourite Quotes */

User:Iamred

2011-11-17T18:46:20Z

Iamred: /* Favourite Quotes */

User:Iamred

2011-11-17T18:43:15Z

Iamred: /* Favourite Quotes */

{{User
|name= Iamred
|realname= James
|image= [[File:England 5.PNG|250px]]
|year= {{birthdate|1997|8|19}}
|
|location= Essex, United Kingdom
|rights= None
|languages= English and Spanish
|skills= Good with wiki code, experienced editor. I also use a bot on IRC.
}}

Hi, I'm Iamred. I edit on various wikis.

==Favourite Quotes==

{{Quote|Pizza Pizza Pizza Pizza Pizza Pizza|[[Stephen Hawking]]}}

{{Quote|I'm a registered... something...|[[Moe Szyslak]]}}

{{Quote|I never knew mice lived such interesting lives!|[[Homer Simpson]]}}

User:Iamred

2011-11-17T18:42:58Z

Iamred: Created page with "{{User |name= Iamred |realname= James |image= 250px |year= {{birthdate|1997|8|19}} | |location= Essex, United Kingdom |rights= None |languages= English and..."

{{User
|name= Iamred
|realname= James
|image= [[File:England 5.PNG|250px]]
|year= {{birthdate|1997|8|19}}
|
|location= Essex, United Kingdom
|rights= None
|languages= English and Spanish
|skills= Good with wiki code, experienced editor. I also use a bot on IRC.
}}

Hi, I'm Iamred. I edit on various wikis.

==Favourite Quotes==

{{Quote|Pizza Pizza Pizza Pizza Pizza Pizza|[[Stephen Hawking]]}}

{{Quote|I'm a registered... something...|[[Moe Szyslak]]}}

{{Quote|I never knew mice lived such interesting lives!|[[Hommer Simpson]]}}