Wikisimpsons - User contributions [en]

User talk:2F13

2025-11-27T04:48:39Z

2F13: /* Thanks */

{{SF2|W|E|L|C|O|M|E|size=15px}}
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<center>Hello, and welcome to '''''[[Wikisimpsons]]'''''!</center>

Thank you for {{#if:|your edits to the [[:{{{1}}}]] article and for| }} taking an interest in our wiki. If you have any troubles, feel free to ask questions on any experienced editors' talk page.

Here are a few pages to help out new editors such as most likely yourself:
<code>
*[[Wikisimpsons:Policies and Guidelines|Wikisimpsons' Policies]]
*[[Help:Contents|Help pages, your first stop if you need any help]]
*[[Help:Editing|Editing help, in case you have questions on how to properly edit articles]]
</code>

Please sign your name on talk pages by using four tildes (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>). This will automatically produce your name and the date. Signing your comments is important, as it lets other editors know who has posted which comments.

Again, welcome! [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 15:27, August 17, 2014 (EDT)
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== RE:SMTP problem ==
Hi, I've passed on your message to our server manager so I'm sure he'll be looking into it. Thanks for bringing it up. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 15:27, August 17, 2014 (EDT)
:Fine. Thanks. --[[User:2F13|2F13]] ([[User talk:2F13|talk]]) 15:33, August 17, 2014 (EDT)
::Hello. Our server manager can't seem to replicate this issue. If you're still having problems with it, you can contact him at jake@simpsonswiki.com and he'll try and work with you to sort it out. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 12:39, August 22, 2014 (EDT)
:::So do I. The latest delivery attempt from <wwwrun@cheetah.cheetah> was some 50 minutes ago. Thanks. --[[User:2F13|2F13]] ([[User talk:2F13|talk]]) 01:49, August 23, 2014 (EDT)
:::: Just for records: No answer yet. --[[User:2F13|2F13]] ([[User talk:2F13|talk]]) 14:02, August 28, 2014 (EDT)
:::::Sorry, he's been very busy lately with real life stuff, and working on setting up a blog for the site. He'll get back to you when he has the chance. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 14:22, August 28, 2014 (EDT)

== Your Links Question ==
To answer your question about whether to link to simpsonswiki or Wikipedia ... If simpsonswiki has an article about the person or thing in question, then link to the article on simpsonswiki (it will most likely have an external link to the person's or thing's Wikipedia article). If we don't have an article for it, then link to Wikipedia. Good question, hope that helps, and thanks for your work with the cultural references. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 09:31, August 26, 2014 (EDT)
:Thank you, Geoff! [[Arnold Schwarzenegger|Schwarzenegger]] was especially doubtful because [[Wolfcastle]]'s model is not an other cartoon character. --(Gabor)[[User:2F13|2F13]] ([[User talk:2F13|talk]]) 00:59, August 27, 2014 (EDT)

== Editing articles that are currently featured in the main page ==

Hi. I've seen you've made some edits to pages that are currently featured in the main page. And I think you've done that before. When you do it, feel free to edit the Featured <Whatever> templates in the main page so they match the article's content after your edits (if the edits affect the part of the articles in the templates, obviously). / [[User:Loco87|'''Loco87''']] ([[User talk:Loco87|'''TALK''']] / [[Special:Contributions/Loco87|Contribs]]) 10:18, June 18, 2017 (EDT)

== A couple of things ==

''(Moved to [[User talk:2F13/EpisodeNumber2Season]])''

== Scripts ==

Hi, I noticed you used SpringfieldSpringfield as a source. A majority of episodes have scripts on Simpsons World, which we can access via a link like this: static-media.fxx.com/the-simpsons/episodes/Simpsons_<SN><EN>_HD_Clean_AUTH-script.xml Just need to replace <SN> with the season number and <EN> with the episode number, for example http://static-media.fxx.com/the-simpsons/episodes/Simpsons_1911_HD_Clean_AUTH-script.xml is the script for "[[That '90s Show]]". I feel it's likely to be more accurate than SpringfieldSpringfield, and contains speakers and voice actors for each character too. Just thought this might help you in future. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 09:31, May 5, 2019 (EDT)
:Oh, sure. Thanks. --[[User:2F13|2F13]] ([[User talk:2F13|talk]]) 09:50, May 5, 2019 (EDT)

== Thanks ==
Hey, thanks for helping deal with that vandal. If you notice anything like this in future, leave me a message on my talk page. Would help bring it to my attention quicker. Thanks, [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 15:43, November 26, 2025 (EST)
: Are you on duty 0-24? :-) --[[User:2F13|2F13]] ([[User talk:2F13|talk]]) 23:48, November 26, 2025 (EST)

User:Jake

2025-11-26T20:36:44Z

2F13: Undo revision 1435002 by *kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Illuminati* ([[User talk:*kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Il...

[[File:Thankyou_card_Jake.png|thumb|right|A very kind card given to me by the staff of the wiki. Click to enlarge.]]
Hello! My name is '''Jake''' and I'm the server admin here at Wikisimpsons. Please let me know if you experience any technical issues when using the site, and I'll be sure to correct them as soon as possible! For all other wiki issues, please contact one of the active [[Wikisimpsons:Administrators|wiki administrators]].

{{User Golden Homer|June 2011}}

{{Wikisimpsons Staff}}

User:Frederick

2025-11-26T20:36:16Z

2F13: Undo revision 1435000 by *kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Illuminati* ([[User talk:*kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Il...

{{User
|name = Frederick
|realname =
|image = [[File:Alien.gif|250px]]
|year = [[1995]]
|origin =
|location = [[Australia]]
|rights = [[Wikisimpsons:Administrators|Administrator]]
|languages = Inglés
|skills =
}}

Hello, I'm '''Frederick Malcolm''', but call me '''Fred'''('''die'''). I'm an [[Wikisimpsons:Administrators|administrator]] here, and first joined in November [[2011]].

== User boxes ==
=== Awards ===
{{User Silver Homer|December 2011}}
{{User Golden Homer|January 2012}}
{{User Silver Homer|February 2012}}
{{User Silver Homer|March 2012}}
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{{User Golden Homer|February 2013}}

=== Edit count ===
{{User 100 edits}}
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=== Rights ===
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=== Miscellaneous ===
{{User Twitter|fred_malcolm}}
{{User Favorite Character|Clancy Wiggum}}
{{User Favorite Episode|Treehouse of Horror X}}
[[File:WooHoo25Years.png|300px|thumb|center]]
[[File:Wiki Penis.png|300px|thumb|center|In the early hours of 22 February 2015, [[User:Solar Dragon|Solar Dragon]] proclaimed that I was "Wiki Penis"]]

<center><big><big><big><big>I have contributed {{Special:Editcount/Frederick}} edits to [[Wikisimpsons]]!</big></big></big></big></center>

{{Wikisimpsons Staff}}

[[Category:Users|Frederick]]

User:Effluvium

2025-11-26T20:36:02Z

2F13: Undo revision 1434999 by *kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Illuminati* ([[User talk:*kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Il...

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{{User Administrator}}
I'm '''Effluvium''' (''An unpleasant or harmful odor/secretion''), an administrator and the leader of [[Wikisimpsons:Project Episodes|Project Episodes]] here on [[Wikisimpsons]].
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About me:
*Male
*British
*Student

I have <big>{{Special:Editcount/Effluvium}}</big> edits to the wiki, not counting the 6,169 edits made on the previous host.
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Favourite:
*Characters - [[Marge]], [[Grampa Simpson]], [[Mr. Burns]] & [[Hans Moleman]].
*Episodes - [[Homer Badman]], [[Fear of Flying]], [[The Springfield Connection]], [[Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield]], [[Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"]], [[Realty Bites]], [[The Joy of Sect]], [[Natural Born Kissers]], [[It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge]], [[HOMЯ]] & [[MyPods and Boomsticks]].
**All [[Treehouse of Horror series|Treehouse of Horrors]].
**''Most'' Sideshow Bob episodes.
*Seasons - [[Season 6|Six]], [[Season 7|Seven]] & [[Season 9|Nine]].
----
You will usually find me working on the episode pages and their relevant tabs. I also tend to make small edits here and there across the wiki because I freak out when things aren't uniform. 

Feel free to leave me a message on my talk-page if you have any queries/issues :)

== Edits ==
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==Awards==
{{User Crystal Homer|2010}}

{{User Golden Homer|June 2010}}

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[[Category:Users|{{PAGENAME}}]]

User:Cook879

2025-11-26T20:35:39Z

2F13: Undo revision 1434998 by *kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Illuminati* ([[User talk:*kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Il...

Welcome to my user page. I am a bureaucrat and can be reached via my talk page. Creator of [[Wikisimpsons:SimpsonsFont]].

== Status ==
I mainly work on this wiki though you may find me on the other wiki's removing spam, fixing stuff and making language links.
{| {| align="center" width="75%" style="background: #{{yellow color}}; -moz-border-radius: 1em; border: 5px solid #{{yellow color light}};"
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== User boxes ==
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{{Merchandise Award 2|Easter Special (April 9-13)}}
{{User Silver Homer|June 2012}}
{{User Silver Homer|November 2012}}
{{User Crystal Homer|2012}}
{{User Bronze Homer|January 2013}}
*Admin of the year
*Lifetime achievement award
}}

== Edit count ==
{{Special:Editcount/Cook879}} + 8,740

== Cook879bot ==
My bot account that uses [[Wikisimpsons:AWB]] to do changes that are too extreme or I can't be bothered to do by hand and do various mundane tasks such as removing the space between <nowiki>[[Category:</nowiki> and the category name. If you want me to do a bot task then leave a message on my talk page.

User:Brian McClure

2025-11-26T20:35:18Z

2F13: Undo revision 1434996 by *kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Illuminati* ([[User talk:*kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Il...

Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over, 'conquered' if you will, by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthmen or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.<includeonly>
[[Category:Wikisimpsons User|{{PAGENAME}}]]</includeonly>

User:AleWi

2025-11-26T20:34:07Z

2F13: Undo revision 1434995 by *kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Illuminati* ([[User talk:*kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Il...

{{User
|name= AleWi
|realname=
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|origin= Sweden
|location=
|rights= Administrator
|languages= English Swedish
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I am '''AleWi''', a Simpsons fan for over 10 years.
{{User Tapped Out|AleWi89}}
{{User Simpsons Movie}}

==Awards==
{{User Platinum Homer|2011}}
{{User Crystal Homer|2012}}
{{User Silver Homer|December 2010}}
{{User Golden Homer|January 2011}}
{{User Bronze Homer|February 2011}}
{{User Bronze Homer|June 2011}}
{{User Bronze Homer|August 2011}}
{{User Golden Homer|October 2011}}
{{User Silver Homer|November 2011}}
{{User Bronze Homer|January 2012}}
{{User Golden Homer|June 2012}}
{{User Golden Homer|July 2012}}
{{User Silver Homer|August 2012}}
{{User Golden Homer|September 2012}}
{{User Silver Homer|October 2012}}
{{User Bronze Homer|November 2012}}
{{User Silver Homer|December 2012}}
{{User Golden Homer|March 2013}}
{{User Silver Homer|April 2013}}
{{User Golden Homer|May 2013}}
{{User Golden Homer|June 2013}}
{{User Golden Homer|July 2013}}
=== Edits ===
{{User 100 edits}}
{{User 500 edits}}
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==Collection==
{{main|User:AleWi/Merchandise}}

{{Wikisimpsons Staff}}

[[Category:Wikisimpsons Admins]]

[[sv:Användare:AleWi]]

User:Solar Dragon

2025-11-26T20:33:42Z

2F13: Undo revision 1434994 by *kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Illuminati* ([[User talk:*kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Il...

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{{User
|name= Solar Dragon
|realname= Callum Walmsley
|image= [[File:Ralph Easter Egg.gif]]
|year= {{birthdate|1994|2|10}}
|origin= West Midlands, England
|location= West Midlands, England
|rights= Wiki Head
|languages= English
|skills= Good with wiki code Good with css Can use AutoWikiBrowser Can use Pywikipediabot
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[[File:Solar-1.jpg|center|link=]]
I am '''Solar Dragon''', the official Head of Wikisimpsons

== Summary ==
I worked my way up to bureaucrat on the wiki while it was at a different host which I will not name and spurred the move to ShoutWiki before agreeing to the move to here.

I am good with wiki code, css and various other wiki things. If you need any help just contact me either on my talk page or via email (<code>solardragon@simpsonswiki.com</code>). If you want to ask a ''The Simpsons'' question, go to [[answers:|Wikisimpsons Answers]].

== Sub-pages ==
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== Edit count ==
I have <big>{{Special:Editcount/Solar Dragon}}</big> edits to the wiki.

{{Wikisimpsons Staff}}

|}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Solar Dragon}}
[[sv:Användare:Solar Dragon‎]]

[[Category:Users|Solar Dragon]]

User:Bot

2025-11-26T20:33:21Z

2F13: Undo revision 1434992 by *kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Illuminati* ([[User talk:*kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Il...

<center>
{{User Bot|[[User:Jake|Jake]]}}
I am a bot that runs on the Wikisimpsons server and automatically performs maintenance tasks. My current instructions are to:
* Delete any images that have not been used within 7 days.

== Edit Count ==
This [[Wikisimpsons:Bots|Bot]] has made <big><big>{{Special:Editcount/Bot}}</big></big> edits [[Wikisimpsons|on this wiki]].</center>

Unleash the Glavin

2025-11-26T20:32:54Z

2F13: Undo revision 1434991 by *kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Illuminati* ([[User talk:*kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Il...

{{Tab|nogags}}
{{Noncanoncomic|reason=Treehouse of Horror story}}
{{Comic story
|title= Unleash the Glavin
|image=[[File:I Screwed Up Big-Time and Unleashed the Glavin.png|250px]]
|released= September [[2010]]
|pages= 15
|series= ''[[The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror]]''
|written by= [[Evan Dorkin]]
}}

'''''Unleash the Glavin''''' is a ''[[The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror]]'' comic story first printed in {{TSTHOH|16}}.

== Plot ==
[[Professor Frink]]'s lab is destroyed and [[Bart]] and Frink are arguing whose fault it is. It started during a school trip to the lab where Frink shows his [[The Contactinator|Contactinator]], a set-like broadcasting device used in the attempt to contact and communicate with extraterrestrial life forms in the vast reaches of the cosmos. Frink decides to give the class a demonstration. He says into the computer's microphone: "Professor John Frink of Planet Earth Calling all sentient ''glavin'' life for friendship and possibly more." When he does not get any answer, the whole class laughs at him.

Suddenly, a big green monster comes into the building calling himself [[The Glavin]]. He begins to crush everything in his way. The students and teacher begin to run away and Glavin laughs at them, he says that nobody can stop him. Frink begin to develop a plan but when he sees that he got a new follower on [[Twitter]] he takes a break.

In the news report they report that death is raging in [[Springfield]] and when going live to [[Scott Christian]], it appears that he is dead. They show [[Mayor Quimby]]'s reaction on what happening, which is only that Quimby screams; this makes [[Homer]] and [[Marge]] flee from their house. When Glavin is on his way towards the nuclear power plant [[Mr. Burns]] decides to unleash mutants, but Glavin kills them and calls it pathetic. Burns flees with his train, leaving Smithers to die when Glavin begin to destroy the power plant.

Glavin continues to destroy Springfield, but now Frink has started with his plan to stop Glavin. He has built a machine that will stop Glavin but instead it kills his accomplice [[Grampa Simpson]]. The police come to help but when they understand what's happening they give up and go to the [[Kwik-E-Mart]]. [[Lisa]] now has a plan, she gets all the musicians in the [[Springfield]] to start playing, thinking it will get Glavin to stop destroying the town. Instead, Glavin kills all the musicians including Lisa. He then proceeds to destroy the inhabitants of Springfield including [[Marge]], [[Krusty]] and [[Homer]]. Frink is now trying to use [[Patty]] and [[Selma]] as bait, as in King Kong, to soothe the beast. Just as Glavin is about to kill Bart and Frink, Glavin's father appears. The father apologizes for what Glavin did and says he should be punished. The punishment is to write on the blackboard.

Frink says that around 2067, he probably built the city and cloned all the people again, he discovers that he forgot to turn off the microphone to the Contactinator but says to Bart the chances of another ''flavin'' visitation are eight gigatrillion. Just then came a new monster, [[The Flavin]].

== Reprints ==
{{Comic Reprint
|1={{SC|190|UK}}
|1a=September 29, [[2011]]
|1b=UK
|2=''[[The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Ominous Omnibus Vol. 1: Scary Tales & Scarier Tentacles]]''
|2a=August 2, [[2022]]
|2b=US
}}

{{Images}}
{{ClearAll}}

[[Category:The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror stories]]
[[Category:2010]]
[[Category:Comic stories written by Evan Dorkin]]

[[sv:I Screwed Up Big-Time And Unleashed The Glavin On An Unsuspecting World! ...I Totally Saved The Earth's Butt And Made The Glavin Cry Like A Little Wuss!]]

Üter Zörker

2025-11-26T20:32:33Z

2F13: Undo revision 1434989 by *kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Illuminati* ([[User talk:*kills Matt Groening because he’s a natalist in the Il...

{{Quote|Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate!|Üter Zörker|Lisa on Ice}}
{{Character
|name = Üter Zörker
|image = [[File:Uter Zorker.png|200px]]
|caption = Artwork of Üter from ''[[The Simpsons: Tapped Out]]''
|gender = {{Male}}
|hair = Blond/Gray
|age =
|status = Alive
|job = Exchange student at [[Springfield Elementary School]]
|relatives = '''Father:''' [[Mr. Zörker]] '''Mother:''' [[Mrs. Zörker]] '''Uncle:''' Unnamed
|appearance = "[[Treehouse of Horror IV]]"
|voiced by = [[Russi Taylor]] [[Grey DeLisle]]
}}

'''Üter Zörker''' is an overweight exchange student at [[Springfield Elementary School]] from [[Bavaria]], [[Germany]].<ref>"[[Treehouse of Horror IV]]"</ref><ref>"[[Lisa's Rival]]"</ref> Little is known about Üter though he is notable for his obesity, which tends to result in misfortune for him. He is obsessed with candy, especially chocolate.

== Profile ==
Üter is a [[Germany|German]] boy with his huge passion for eating unhealthy food, especially candy, and can often be seen alone eating sweets, both at school and on the school bus. His obesity also had been a running gag in ''[[The Simpsons]]''. As such, he was whipped with a wet towel by [[Homer]] for fun, thinking he had {{W|bosom}}s.<ref>"[[Lisa on Ice]]"</ref> Üter was once caught and attacked by pursuing soldiers when he was unable to catch up to the school bus where the other students caught up.<ref>"[[The PTA Disbands]]"</ref> When he was eating pastries with Bart and Martin he fell through the treehouse floor.<ref>"[[The Devil Wears Nada]]"</ref> Üter is also proven to be friendly as he offered to share candy with [[Bart]] one time.<ref>"[[Treehouse of Horror IV]]"</ref>

Despite his physique, Üter used to be a player of the [[Kwik-E-Mart Gougers]] Peewee Hockey League Team.<ref>"[[Lisa on Ice]]"</ref> He also enjoys flirting with Lisa Simpson and sometimes tries to befriend Bart. He enjoys watching German football. He also seemed to be an enthusiast towards science fiction, as he was seen attending the [[Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con|Bi-Monthly-Science-Fiction-Convention]].<ref>"[[Mayored to the Mob]]"</ref>

Üter once got left behind on the American Civil War field trip and subsequently went missing. He was attacked by civil war re-enactors while Principal Skinner thanked his precious permission slips.<ref>"[[The PTA Disbands]]"</ref> His parents demanded Skinner to inform them of their missing son's whereabouts.<ref>"[[Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?]]"</ref> However, he has since reappeared. He was once seen stuck in a cobweb in the school air vents,<ref>"[[24 Minutes]]"</ref> to no avail. Üter then reappeared some time afterwards.

At one point, when [[Lisa]] was discovered to have a crush on [[Nelson Muntz]], the other children at band rehearsal began taunting her about it. When [[Milhouse]] denied the claim, the children began teasing that he had a crush on Lisa. [[Janey]] then denied ''that'' claim, causing the children to taunt her about having a crush on Milhouse. Üter then denied that Janey had a crush on Milhouse, which prompted the students to instead claim that ''Üter'' had a crush on Milhouse. Üter's musical instrument in the [[Springfield Elementary School Band|school band]] is a {{W|concertina}}.<ref>"[[Lisa's Date with Density]]"</ref>

Lisa identified Üter as representing "The Omnivore" among [[The 20 Types of People You Meet in Elementary School]].<ref>''[[The Lisa Book]]''</ref>

== Family ==
Üter has two parents, and an uncle who is the a proud owner of a bubblegum-factory in [[Düsseldorf]] (respectively Basel in the German version).

== Non-canon ==
{{Noncanon}}

=== Future ===
Üter was able to slim down and grow up to become a film, theater and holodeck star, having lived on a diet entirely of [[Fish Logs]]. When Bart needed a digestive tract transplant, Üter donated his, as he felt indebted to him for first introducing him to Fish Logs. After thanking Bart in person, Üter went on to film ''Look Who's Shooting Her Now'', playing the role of [[McBain]].<ref>''[[The Rise and Fall of Bartholomew J. Simpson]]''</ref>

=== The Simpsons: Tapped Out ===
{{TranscludeSection|The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters/Kids|Uter}}

== Behind the Laughter ==
Üter is most likely based on {{W|Augustus Gloop}}, the gluttonous German boy from the book ''[[Charlie and the Chocolate Factory]]'' by [[Roald Dahl]] and its 1971 film adaptation ''{{W|Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory}}''; which is rather ironic, since Üter once made a chocolate diorama of the book.<ref>"[[Lisa's Rival]]"</ref> His favourite catchphrase is "don't make me run; I'm full of chocolate!".

Contrary to the common English assumption that Üter is a Swiss name, it is probably a misconstruction of the common German name Günther. In the German version of the show, Üter is named Uter and is an exchange student from Switzerland with a thick Swiss-German accent.

== Appearances ==
{{Incomplete}}
{{Scroll|
{{TO}}
{{Season5A
|E5=yes
|E5n=Terror at 5 1/2 Feet
}}
{{Season6A
|E2=yes
|E6=yes
|E6n=Nightmare Cafeteria
|E8=yes
|E21=yes
}}
{{Season7A
|E21=yes
|E23=yes
}}
{{Season8A
|E7=yes
}}
{{Season9A
|E6=yes
}}
{{Season10A
|E9=yes
}}
{{Season11A
|E3=yes
|E17=yes
|E17n=future
}}
{{Season12A
|E8=yes
|E20=yes
|E21=yes
|E21n=Tom and Huck
}}
{{Season15A
|E3=yes
}}
{{Season16A
|E18=yes
}}
{{Season17A
|E18=yes
|E18n=Stupidity on the Bounty
}}
{{Season18A
|E4=yes
|E21=yes
}}
*{{mov}}
{{Season21A
|E5=yes
}}
{{Season23A
|E4=yes
|E4n=picture
}}
{{Season24A
|E21=yes
}}
{{Season25A
|E14=yes
|E22=yes
}}
{{Season30A
|E3=yes
|E18=yes
|E22=yes
}}
{{Season31A
|E1=yes
|E4=yes
|E4n=Danger Things
|E6=yes
|E8=yes
|E8n=The Last Thanksgiving
}}
{{Season35A
|E18=yes
}}
*{{bon|Bart People}}
*{{bon|The Rise and Fall of Bartholomew J. Simpson}}
*{{bon|Homer's America}}
*{{bon|Children off the Cob}}
*{{bon|Ralph's Room 1}}
*{{bon|Honey Pooch Pooch}}
*{{bk|The Lisa Book}}
*{{game|The Simpsons Game}}
*{{game|The Simpsons: Tapped Out}}
*{{merch|Simpsons Mania! (Inkworks)|pipe=yes|3=Simpsons Mania!}}
{{TC}}
}}

== References ==
{{Images|Üter}}
{{Reflist}}

{{Springfield Elementary|exchange students=yes}}
{{Springfield High School}}
{{Tapped Out characters|kids=yes}}
{{Simpsons characters|elementary=yes}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Zorker, Uter}}

[[Category:Children]]
[[Category:Characters voiced by Russi Taylor]]
[[Category:Characters voiced by Grey DeLisle]]
[[Category:Recurring characters]]
[[Category:Characters introduced in season 5]]

User talk:Solar Dragon/Archive 30

2020-07-12T19:23:52Z

2F13: /* Why did you this without any notice? */ new section

{{User:Solar Dragon/Talkheader}}

== Dan Foust ==

Hey, so, for DF, his character is in the episode but not himself? I'm confused. [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 11:27, November 21, 2016 (EST)
:Nope, his character isn't in it either. Al Jean replied "part was cut and we never asked him" when I asked him. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 11:29, November 21, 2016 (EST)
::So the guy that went to Marge wasn't him then. ok lol [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 12:02, November 21, 2016 (EST)
:::The hostage negotiator? That was a guy called [[Blake]]. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 12:05, November 21, 2016 (EST)

== TLTH post on facebook ==

Hey, regarding this post [https://www.facebook.com/wikisimpsons/posts/1205580819522347 Season 28 News: A Teaser for "Dad Behavior" has been released] can it be corrected to say "The Last Traction Hero" instead? I changed it afterwards (forgot to change it before publishing :( ). thanks [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 15:51, November 29, 2016 (EST)

== TNAK ==

Hey, do you have access to that platform that releases the promotional images? (what was its name? I forgot) If so, can you upload the ones for [[The Nightmare After Krustmas]] please? The ones on wikia are bad quality. Thanks [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 15:57, December 8, 2016 (EST)

== SF Splendor ==
hey, where was it written season finale? :o [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 17:23, December 10, 2016 (EST)
:I took "Season 28 table reads come to a roaring conclusion" to mean final episode of season 28, but you're right. It might not be and might air out of order from table reads. Sorry. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 17:25, December 10, 2016 (EST)
::I think Selman's tweet "Season 28 table reads come to a roaring conclusion with a great script by..." refers to the end of the 28th production season, not the broadcast one. The episode's code is WABF22 after all. / [[User:Loco87|'''Loco87''']] ([[User talk:Loco87|'''TALK''']] / [[Special:Contributions/Loco87|'''Contribs''']]) 17:28, December 10, 2016 (EST)
:::yeah, corrected in TSS too [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 17:31, December 10, 2016 (EST)

== The snerfsons ==
Hey what do you think about what this wrote? [http://www.nohomers.net/showthread.php?110870-Season-28-Information-Thread&p=3732282&viewfull=1#post3732282 here] and [http://www.nohomers.net/showthread.php?110870-Season-28-Information-Thread&p=3732744&viewfull=1#post3732744 here]. [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 22:07, December 18, 2016 (EST)
:I wouldn't release the information on the wiki unless I was 100% sure of it. And to me, getting info directly from Al Jean is the best source we can have, better than other people's tweets, news sites etc. How much false info have we posted? Very little. And if a mistake is made, it's usually not our fault, it's because of news sites reporting stuff. i.e. Dan Fouts came from The Futon Critic. Turned out to be wrong. It's not like all these sites can be trusted 100%. I've posted a reply there anyway (turns out I have an account. lol) So hopefully that'll make them happy. If not, well, we're happy with the source so that's all that matters. And I know it's 100% accurate. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 05:03, December 19, 2016 (EST)
::of course i believe you wanted just to point that post out so you could give a better statement since you're one of the admins. Ofcourse Al Jean is the best source. I wonder why they even argued with it, thinking maybe we're some sort of site that wants to hide stuff or something. [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 05:25, December 19, 2016 (EST)
:::People love to hate (what a quote, btw), especially in forums about TV shows. Also, The Futon Critic gets the press release infos from FOX, as we've also done several times, so I believe that the "Fouts case" could have been an issue from the press release (it wouldn't be the 1st time). / [[User:Loco87|'''Loco87''']] ([[User talk:Loco87|'''TALK''']] / [[Special:Contributions/Loco87|'''Contribs''']]) 18:04, December 19, 2016 (EST)

== Space in TSTO pages ==

Hey, I was wondering if you can check this: for example in TSTO content update pages, there is a space btw Title and TOCUPrevNext and i still dunno what causes it. can you check it please? [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 11:36, December 20, 2016 (EST)

== Episode Number after TGP ==
Hi Solar. Now that "The Great Phatsby" has aired, we should consider it as one episode or two episodes (pt1 & pt2)? I'm asking you 'cause FOX considered TGP "one" episode (S28E12), though it has 2 production episodes (WABF04/05). What do you think? This is basically because I don't know how to update the "Epnumber", "Episode credits" and "Mostrecentep" templates in [[:Category:Frequently updated templates]]. Should we consider FOX aired two episodes tonight that happened to be the two parts of a story? / [[User:Loco87|'''Loco87''']] ([[User talk:Loco87|'''TALK''']] / [[Special:Contributions/Loco87|Contribs]]) 21:19, January 15, 2017 (EST)
:Ouch that's a good question. It seems weird to me to consider them one though. I'll drop the question to Al, Matt and Chris and see if they can tell me what :p. [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 22:07, January 15, 2017 (EST)
::I've sent Al Jean a message on Twitter so hopefully he'll respond. Depending on his response, we may end up merging the episodes together too. Or not. Not sure at the moment. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 07:44, January 16, 2017 (EST)
:::It counts as two episodes, 608 and 609. So, we're up to episode 609 now. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 08:42, January 16, 2017 (EST)
::::Cool thanks! [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 08:50, January 16, 2017 (EST)
:::::Ok. I assume that part one starts when the "episode" starts and ends with the scene before narrator Homer says sth like "Fitzgerald never said anything about second parts on american TV shows" ('cause that is right half the full episode). I think that we have to treat the two parts as different episodes (e.g. Praline only appears in part two, so Taraji P. Henson should only be listed as guest star in part two; there's a harry potter reference at the end of part one, so it should only be on part one's references page; ...). Doing things this way would help not to have part one and part two pages being just one page duplicated! / [[User:Loco87|'''Loco87''']] ([[User talk:Loco87|'''TALK''']] / [[Special:Contributions/Loco87|Contribs]]) 08:57, January 16, 2017 (EST)
::::::That's what I did in the pages already :p also what HP reference? can you add it? :D [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 09:04, January 16, 2017 (EST)
:::::::Oh the slitherin thing with the snake and the shield!! [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 09:07, January 16, 2017 (EST)
::::::::Yep Loco, that's what I'll do. The credits tabs should also be redirected to the credits page for both episodes, since the episodes share the same credits. It might not be as clean as we'd like, but it'll work. lol [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 09:13, January 16, 2017 (EST)
::Still no info on next episode what it'll be :( [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 19:57, January 16, 2017 (EST)
:::My guess is Fatzcarraldo, but we'll have to wait and see. / [[User:Loco87|'''Loco87''']] ([[User talk:Loco87|'''TALK''']] / [[Special:Contributions/Loco87|Contribs]]) 20:08, January 16, 2017 (EST)

== Discus Stu LGBT? ==
Since we've been giving the "[[Tales from the Public Domain]]" ''Odyssey'' characters' articles a going-over ...

Does it make sense to consider [[Discus Stu]] as one of the LGBT characters? "Hinted to be Gay" would seem to be the appropriate heading for him, as he bypasses [[Penelope]] to make a pick-up attempt on [[Telemachus]], but isn't seen doing anything more overt. Just want to make sure it doesn't sound crazy. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 18:18, January 27, 2017 (EST)
:Yeah, I think that would make sense. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 05:55, January 28, 2017 (EST)
::I'll add it later today, then. It does present a "teachable moment" regarding a non-canon character's orientation not having any bearing on that of their canonical counterpart. :-) -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 11:18, January 28, 2017 (EST)

== Size in changes ==

hey can you not change the ones in changes as to not make them big 30px so it fits with the text better? thanks :p [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 19:00, February 5, 2017 (EST)

== TGP Quotes ==

hey the quotes for The Great Phatsby are not working, takes me to the home [[The Great Phatsby]] [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 18:28, February 8, 2017 (EST)
:You need to add them to the Part One and Part Two pages. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 06:01, February 9, 2017 (EST)
::What i mean is the part 1 and 2 pages, the quotes link takes me to the whole episode main page. no quotes page. its like it's a redirect [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 08:11, February 9, 2017 (EST)
:::The Quotes pages on Part One and Part Two are both red links. They don't exist. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 09:49, February 9, 2017 (EST)
::::The heck? It... ok maybe it was changed early dunno [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 10:14, February 9, 2017 (EST)

== Lemon of troy ==

I think he's referring to:
*Bart: Hey Milhouse, how's the lemonade business?
*Milhouse: It's clearly booming, Bart.
*Lisa: I don't even want any, I just bought a pity glass.
*Milhouse: Gasp! We've squozen our whole supply. To the lemon tree! [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 07:01, February 14, 2017 (EST)
:Oh, okay. But still, I don't think it's really needed in the page. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 07:19, February 14, 2017 (EST)

== images lost to removal ==
what happened with the images? the non-xmas ones. many were removed [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 12:23, February 23, 2017 (EST)
:I'm not sure what you mean. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 12:41, February 23, 2017 (EST)
::Some of the files that i uploaded the other day were removed for not being used for 7 days [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 12:54, February 23, 2017 (EST)
:::Oh, a bot deletes unused files if they're not used after 7 days. Are there any images there you need for articles because I can restore them. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 13:02, February 23, 2017 (EST)
::::uh no otherwise they'd have not been deleted lol [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 15:29, February 23, 2017 (EST)

== Character tables screwd up ==

Hey, why are the characters tables all screwed up? like cost says <nowiki>{{Cost}}</nowiki> etc. i.e. [[Clancy Wiggum|here]] with the skins [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 17:25, March 7, 2017 (EST)
:Because I've been going through them reformatting, adding more info, correcting info and adding tasks in. Any messed up are the ones I haven't gotten to yet. I had to change the template to add the new info in. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 17:37, March 7, 2017 (EST)
::Oh ok. I updated the unlock screens that changed with the takedown update too [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 17:46, March 7, 2017 (EST)

== 100k ==

[[Special:Editcount/Solar Dragon|Pretty good]] {{User:Randomno/sig4}} 13:28, March 29, 2017 (EDT)

== Secret Easter Agents ==

I'd say for now the page it's pretty good looking uh? :D [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 21:43, March 30, 2017 (EDT)

== I've sent you an email ==

Hi. I sent you an email yesterday. / [[User:Loco87|'''Loco87''']] ([[User talk:Loco87|'''TALK''']] / [[Special:Contributions/Loco87|'''Contribs''']]) 14:47, March 31, 2017 (EDT)

== What is happening with the pictures? ==
Hi, Solar. I've just noticed there's an issue with all the pictures of wikisimpsons. No picture is showing up. I think the issue has to do with "https://static.simpsonswiki.com". If you try to access the URL of any file, an error message is shown. / [[User:Loco87|'''Loco87''']] ([[User talk:Loco87|'''TALK''']] / [[Special:Contributions/Loco87|'''Contribs''']]) 11:30, April 15, 2017 (EDT)
:I sent email to jake and now it's working ;) [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 13:28, April 15, 2017 (EDT)
::I emailed Jake about it earlier when I first noticed it but he didn't get the notification so was a bit late on fixing the problem. It's all fixed now. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 13:30, April 15, 2017 (EDT)
:::Great! / [[User:Loco87|'''Loco87''']] ([[User talk:Loco87|'''TALK''']] / [[Special:Contributions/Loco87|'''Contribs''']]) 13:51, April 15, 2017 (EDT)
::::I kinda forgot, for this kind of big problems with the site, there is an emergency email: emergency@simpsonswiki.com to be used [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 13:54, April 15, 2017 (EDT)

== Mostrecentep ==

hey, what does this do I don't get it. I found it in [[J. Stewart Burns]]' page: [[Template:Mostrecentep]]. [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 11:12, April 24, 2017 (EDT)
:it lists the most recent episode. We change it every time a new episode comes out. Since there's a lot of cast and crew who are in every episode, it is used in "most recent episode" in cast and crew infoboxes. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 11:20, April 24, 2017 (EDT)
:Oh ok. I asked cause it was still on the caper chase :p [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 12:25, April 24, 2017 (EDT)
::The Caper Chase is the most recent episode. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 12:30, April 24, 2017 (EDT)
:::I am dumb lol [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 02:01, April 25, 2017 (EDT)

== Donald Trump canon? ==

Look what Animation on FOX just posted! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qo3fT0xPeHs Donald Trump's First 100 Days In Office | Season 28 Ep. 19 | THE SIMPSONS] [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 17:55, April 26, 2017 (EDT)

== HotCat Gone AWOL? ==
I was able to clear the cookies from Firefox so I could log into the wiki via that browser. However, things look a little different and I notice that the HotCat feature has gone missing? (I just uploaded an image and had to add a couple of categories manually.) Has something changed or glitched? -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 22:05, July 20, 2017 (EDT)
:You have to enable it in [[Special:Preferences]] now. It's under "Gadgets". [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 04:47, July 21, 2017 (EDT)
::Got it, thanks. :-) -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 10:14, July 21, 2017 (EDT)

== Milhouse / Wonder Years ==
I've been looking for more references to ''The Wonder Years'', and one thing that keeps coming up is that [[Milhouse]] was designed as a caricature of ''Wonder Years'' character Paul Pfeiffer (best friend of main character Kevin Arnold), and in fact we have that on Milhouse's article. Do we have an official source for that anyplace? It would certainly be appropriate for the ''Wonder Years'' references article (under construction in my sandbox), but I'd feel better about including it if it were properly sourced. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 10:14, July 21, 2017 (EDT)
:I went ahead and finished the ''[[The Wonder Years|Wonder Years]]'' article and put it into the mainspace without any mention of the Milhouse / Pfeiffer resemblance, as it already had enough material to warrant an article. We can always get the Milhouse connection sorted out later. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 22:09, July 27, 2017 (EDT)
::I can't find a source for it either. So, I think we should remove that bit of information from the page. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 05:14, July 28, 2017 (EDT)
:::Don't we have asking Al Jean as an option? Maybe we need to start putting together a question list for the next time we have an opportunity to talk to him ... -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 06:06, July 28, 2017 (EDT)
----
Google is your friend; you just have to ask it the right questions. I searched for "Milhouse caricature of Paul Pfeiffer" (without the quotes), and I found some documentation of [[David Silverman]] shooting down the notion of Milhouse being designed as a caricature of Paul Pfeiffer.
* Story I first saw in the Google search results: [http://rubbercat.net/simpsons/news/2011/10/milhouse-couldve-starred-in-a-saturday-morning-cartoon.html]
* Tweet from Silverman (cited in the above story): [https://twitter.com/tubatron/status/123063609730408448]
I think it's worth leaving the picture and speculation in Milhouse's article, but make sure it's only mentioned in the BtL section. Even though it's not true, it '''is''' part of the (real-life) history of the character. But we should add the refutation from Silverman and document it with the link to the tweet. The Web is so rife with references to the Milhouse/Pfeiffer resemblance being intentional that it's practically a meme, and it's possible that some folks may be upset to see it busted. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 13:21, August 12, 2017 (EDT)
: Added to Milhouse's article as discussed. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 16:01, October 9, 2017 (EDT)

== Potential Mediawiki bug ==

Have a look on page [[Special:WhatLinksHere/Template:User_1K_edits]]. Six pages of User namespace linked as Main articles. [[Special:WhatLinksHere/Template:User_500_edits]] and [[Special:WhatLinksHere/Template:User_100_edits]] are similar with the same bad links. --[[User:2F13|2F13]] ([[User talk:2F13|talk]]) 12:36, July 22, 2017 (EDT)

== Article for Hawkeye Pierce? ==
With all the digging I've been doing into ''M*A*S*H'' and ''The Simpsons'', I'm thinking we should make an article for Hawkeye Pierce. We actually have as much canon information for Hawkeye (including an image) as we do for [[Max Klinger]], and the Klinger article survived a fairly spirited round of deletion discussion, IIRC. A Hawkeye article wold also allow for tidying up some links on other M*A*S*H-related articles. Makes sense? -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 15:26, August 10, 2017 (EDT)
:If you think you can make an article for it, go ahead. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 17:52, August 10, 2017 (EDT)

== Lenny Kravitz photo ==
As you might have gathered, I've been working on the common cast and crew between ''The Simspons'' and ''The Hunger Games'' (no more creating redlinks, I promise :-) ) and I've noticed that our article for [[Lenny Kravitz]] (real-life) doesn't have a photo. Is there some reason why we can't use his photo from Wikipedia? The permissions info on that photo says that it needs to be attributed to the photographer if it's used outside Wikimedia, which doesn't strike me as being much of a problem. Or is there some other issue that I'm not noticing? If it turns out there's no problem with our using the photo, I'm willing to add it and make sure the photographer gets due credit. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 23:48, October 4, 2017 (EDT)
:We removed the photo we had a while ago as we received an email from someone who was representing Lenny Kravitz and asked us to take down the image or face consequences. As a result, it would be best if we don't have an image of him on the wiki. It's stupid and it sucks, but I don't want to risk anything bad happening, so it would be for the best we leave the page imageless.
:As for the red links, that's not the issue. Every credited person has an article. If they're not credited, we don't give them an article, unless they work on many episodes and there's a decent source to show they did. IMDb can be edited by anyone and I've often found incorrect information on IMDb, although I do my best to correct it if I do, or add that the people are uncredited etc. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 06:06, October 5, 2017 (EDT)
::Sounds like that anal-retentive rep needs to get off his/her own ass and get cracking on getting Kravitz's pic taken down from the jillion other sites where it can be found, then. :-P -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 11:39, October 5, 2017 (EDT)

== Celeb pics in Springfield Splendor ==

Here are screenshots of all the pics on the wall:
*File:Springfield Splendor - Celebs1.png
*File:Springfield Splendor - Celebs2.png
*File:Springfield Splendor - Celebs3.png
*File:Springfield Splendor - Celebs4.png

I Hope this helps! / [[User:Loco87|'''Loco87''']] ([[User talk:Loco87|'''<simpsons size=7>Talk</simpsons>''']] / [[Special:Contributions/Loco87|Contribs]]) 14:15, October 9, 2017 (EDT)

== The voice dubber section ==

Hello, I just wondered why some languages are in their own language, like "Español" or "Français", but some other are written in English. If you read this, please reply. Thank you! :) [[User:Shiyo07|Shiyo07]] ([[User talk:Shiyo07|talk]]) 12:24, October 13, 2017 (EDT)
:Honestly... I don't know why. lol. I feel they should all be in their native language, with the hover over to show what the English language is. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 12:29, October 13, 2017 (EDT)

== Comic Book Woman in "Mayored to the Mob" ==
In "[[Mayored to the Mob]]", there's a scene where a young woman visits [[Comic Book Guy]]'s booth at the Con and they have a "moment" while some romantic ''Star Trek'' music plays in the background. However, it's all for naught as he shoots her down when she (indirectly) asks him to remove the SweeTarts from his beard. She isn't given a name, but she does have a couple of lines of dialogue and [[Maggie Roswell]] has a voice credit in the episode for "Comic Book Lady". Should she get an article by that title? We do have an article for a comic story character called [[Comic Book Gal]], but she's clearly not the same person. I'm certainly willing to make the article if that sounds like a good plan; after all, I might as well do the sweat work to go with the brain work.

BTW, I got hired! It is a data analysis position with a local health agency. I'll furnish more detail and update my user page once I've actually started work. Apparently this employer's pre-employment screening process is rather extensive, and there are a couple of steps still remaining. It looks like I finally hit my "bad luck" quota and things started turning around. I interviewed on Friday the 13th (of October), had a bumper-scraping incident in a parking lot on my way to the interview, and discovered that I had left a sweater vest at an appointment earlier in the day. Not good signs!!! But I was offered the job, and later retrieved my vest, so all's well that ends well. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 23:47, October 30, 2017 (EDT)
----
I put a screencap showing the comic woman on my Sandbox page so you can see who I'm talking about. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 23:58, October 30, 2017 (EDT)
:Yep, she should get an article. Simpsons World (the website) refers to her in the script as "Nerdy young woman" so this is the title her article should be at.
:And congratulations on getting the job! Glad to hear your run of bad luck is over. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 07:21, October 31, 2017 (EDT)

== The Bart Wants What It Wants ==
Within the last several days, the same vandalism has occurred three times on "[[The Bart Wants What It Wants]]", from two usernames and an IP. And one of the usernames is a repeat offender (also did the same vandalism back in May). Is it time to start handing out some blocks, perhaps to the second-offense username? -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 20:07, October 31, 2017 (EDT)
:I have semi-protected it for 3 months, which should be enough to stop the vandalism. If I see any more from any of those accounts, I'll ban them. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 07:28, November 1, 2017 (EDT)

== Certificate ==

Hi. The SSL certificate installed a month ago lacks ''Subject Alternate Name'' <code>www.wikisimpsons.com</code>. I suggest your sysadmin to ask a bit enhanced certificate next time. -- [[User:2F13|2F13]] ([[User talk:2F13|talk]]) 00:12, March 3, 2018 (EST)
:Hi, I’m the sysadmin here. We don’t serve pages from wikisimpsons.com, www.wikisimpsons.com, or www.simpsonswiki.com. All of these redirect to simpsonswiki.com which has a valid SSL certificate for that domain. (And only that domain.) I generally do not add SANs for domains that we don’t generate pages on. Are you seeing this error somewhere during normal browsing? —[[User:Jake|Ja]][[User_talk:Jake|ke]] 00:56, March 3, 2018 (EST)
::Never mind. :-) --[[User:2F13|2F13]] ([[User talk:2F13|talk]]) 09:56, March 3, 2018 (EST)

== Bulbapedia ==

Some time ago Bulbapedia moved to https. Could you change the interwiki links? --[[User:Raltseye|Raltseye]] ([[User talk:Raltseye|talk]]) 14:39, March 14, 2018 (EDT)
:Edited, thanks for pointing this out. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 17:20, March 14, 2018 (EDT)
::No, thank you! :) --[[User:Raltseye|Raltseye]] ([[User talk:Raltseye|talk]]) 17:21, March 14, 2018 (EDT)

== hey ==

[https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=J._Loren_Pyror&action=history|hey dude why did you revert my edit]

--[[Special:Contributions/64.188.171.130|64.188.171.130]] 05:55, April 21, 2018 (EDT)
:Because his name, as listed in the scripts of episodes, is Pyror, not Pryor. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 06:00, April 21, 2018 (EDT)

:but it's spelt the other way literally everywhere else including the actual episodes and if that were a typo it probably would have been brought up in the dvd commentaries but i just stopped caring so i'll leave it alone --[[Special:Contributions/64.188.171.130|64.188.171.130]] 12:44, April 21, 2018 (EDT)
::Okay, after more research I have found that you are right and that one of the sources I was using was incorrect (script view of episodes on Simpsons World has his name misspelled whenever he speaks, but in text it is indeed Pryor). I will be updating pages with his actual name. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 13:13, April 21, 2018 (EDT)

== Upload Issue? ==
Is there currently an issue with uploading files? When I attempt to upload an image I get ...
:Upload error
:Could not store file "/tmp/phpDctVOw" at "mwstore://local-backend/local-public/2/2e/Junior_Dandies.png".
Thanks ... -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 23:13, July 5, 2018 (EDT)
:Jake has fixed this. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 08:31, July 6, 2018 (EDT)
::It's working fine now, thanks. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 09:36, July 6, 2018 (EDT)

== Reference guide ==

Hi, do we have a page on how to write references? I want to make a reference to something said on a commentary track. [[User:FatHomer|FatHomer]][[User talk:FatHomer|Talk]] 15:13, October 11, 2018 (EDT)FatHomer
:If you want to reference a commentary quote, use {{T|Com}}. It's usage is on the template page. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 15:14, October 11, 2018 (EDT)
::Thanks :) [[User:FatHomer|FatHomer]][[User talk:FatHomer|Talk]] 15:16, October 11, 2018 (EDT)FatHomer

== How to edit the final part of a wiki ==

Hi SolarDragon, Sanarkroid greeting you here!, ok I've got a trouble trying to edit the final part of a wiki (Tapped Out category), 'cause I need to add some lacking speech bubbles and one system message, and it always stays bad, so I know that I have the final part of the wiki that it's the next:

ok so when I try to add my content it doesn't appear rightly.

Help and thanks!
[[User:Sanarkroid|Never Deny Yourself To Your Dreams]] ([[User talk:Sanarkroid|talk]]) 04:07, October 20, 2018 (EDT)Sanarkroid
:I'm not sure what you want to do. Also, could you have your username in your signature please (instead of Never Deny Yourself To Your Dreams) as it's confusing to not have it. Thanks, [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 06:33, October 20, 2018 (EDT)

== Abbot ==

Dear Dragon,
I've just created a bot account named Abbot. Would you mind to do the usual administration steps? Thanks. --[[User:2F13|2F13]] ([[User talk:2F13|talk]]) 05:40, October 22, 2018 (EDT)
:Hey, so you're going to be dealing with the links on the quotes pages using it? Okay. We have a [[Wikisimpsons:AWB|help page]] on AWB to get you set up for here if you need it. I'll give you the bot right now. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 05:43, October 22, 2018 (EDT)
::Actually Abbot will be multifunctional. Formatting quotes will be just one of its capabilities. :-) --[[User:2F13|2F13]] ([[User talk:2F13|talk]]) 05:57, October 22, 2018 (EDT)
''Abbot'' shows signs of life. Please check page [[User:Abbot/test]]. --[[User:2F13|2F13]] ([[User talk:2F13|talk]]) 10:03, October 22, 2018 (EDT)

== "[[Krusty the Clown (episode)|Krusty the Clown]]" TV screen graphic ==
Where is ''The Walking Dead'' in the graphic of the TV screens with all the show titles? I found ''Fear the Walking Dead'', but not ''The Walking Dead''. It counts as a ''Walking Dead'' reference because ''Fear'' is up there; I'm just curious and mystified about where the ''Walking Dead'' screen might be. Also, one of Homer's recaps is about a ''Walking Dead'' episode ("Too much walking, not enough dead") so I'll add it to the reference. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 15:52, December 24, 2018 (EST)
:If it's not in the image of the TV screens, there was also a scrolling list of TV shows shown before that image so it was probably in there. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 16:13, December 24, 2018 (EST)
::Probably was. I noticed the screens in the graphic had a pattern of including all of a franchise's shows, just not all in the same place. Besides, when my girlfriend and I played DVR catch-up and got to that episode, I was sleepy and didn't get a good look at the screens. But I did catch Homer's ''Walking Dead'' recap, as it was spot-on and was a common criticism of the early episodes of ''Fear the Walking Dead''. Happy Holidays and may Father Christmas deal generously with you! Best, M. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 16:21, December 24, 2018 (EST)

== 'Tis the 30th Season ''Godfather'' reference ==
Still playing DVR catch-up here in the Pacific North'''wet''' (not a typo) on Christmas morning. Do you have an image of the scene in "[['Tis the 30th Season]]" where Jeanie the resort manager finds the vice-presidents' heads in her bed? I'll add the bit to the ''Godfather'' references page later. Thank you ... -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 09:44, December 25, 2018 (EST)
::[[File:'Tis_the_30th_Season_Godfather.png|250px]] [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 10:21, December 25, 2018 (EST)
:::LetsPlay, in case I didn't mention it earlier, you're one good egg! :-) Merry Christmas and thanks for the picture. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 11:04, December 25, 2018 (EST)
::::Merry Christmas! :D [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 14:52, December 25, 2018 (EST)
:Added the "Jeanie & heads" reference and pic to ''[[The Godfather]]'' reference page, and a few other pictures as well. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 19:57, December 25, 2018 (EST)

== New template ==

Hi SolarDragon, nice to meet you & nice to greet you!!, ok I comment somethin' fast, I need to know a fast way to create a new template for an image that's lacking on a Tapped Out page (here on wiki) [[User:Sanarkroid|Sanarkroid]] ([[User talk:Sanarkroid|talk]])

Respectfully yours: Federico
:You don't need a template to add images. What image are you on about and what page? [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 16:50, January 8, 2019 (EST)

== Wikisimpsons Answers ==

According to Wikisimpsons Answers, those who are administrators here also have rights over at Wikisimpsons Answers. So I was wondering whether you had any idea what happened to my question there. I do recall submitting a question, though I can't see it on the list of recently asked questions. Also when I check my contributions there, they show up blank. Any idea why that is? ― [[User:C.Syde65|C.Syde]] ([[User talk:C.Syde65|talk]] | [[:Special:Contributions/C.Syde65|contribs]]) 23:20, April 9, 2019 (EDT)
:Oops, sorry. We didn't get a notification that a new question was asked. I just approved it. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 07:05, April 10, 2019 (EDT)
::Oh, thanks! :D ― [[User:C.Syde65|C.Syde]] ([[User talk:C.Syde65|talk]] | [[:Special:Contributions/C.Syde65|contribs]]) 07:19, April 10, 2019 (EDT)

== Nelson and Jimbo ==

Can you think of any notable examples of Jimbo Jones appearing as a leader to Nelson Muntz? I take back what I've said about Nelson being the leader of the two, at least in general. Though I personally don't see him as a subordinate of Jimbo. More like an equal. As both of them have been portrayed as a leader on separate occasions.

Also is it possible for users to have their own signature templates on this site? Because my user signature exceeds the maximum number of characters allowed for a non-template signature. And as a result, I keep having to copy paste my signature and sign my comments with five tildes to produce a timestamp. ― [[User:C.Syde65|C.Syde]] ([[User talk:C.Syde65|talk]] | [[:Special:Contributions/C.Syde65|contribs]]) 03:42, April 15, 2019 (EDT)
:Can't really think of examples, but Jimbo is always stated to be the leader of the bullies in official media. As for the signature template, go ahead and make one. It's fine. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 06:13, April 15, 2019 (EDT)

==Thanks==
Thanks for the advice. I will check to see if everything looks OK but if you object to anything in particular please let me know. Yours, [[User:Robert Sieger|Robert Sieger]] ([[User talk:Robert Sieger|talk]]) 01:54, April 21, 2019 (EDT)

==File upload==
I would like to upload a file for my signature but the upload page says I am not permitted to upload files. Can you help? [[User:D'oh!|D'oh]] [[File:donut.png|thumb]] 19:25, April 24, 2019 (EDT)
:Never mind, I just have to be auto confirmed to do that. [[User:D'oh!|D'oh!]] [[File:donut.png|20px]] [[User talk:D'oh!|Send Homer a donut]] 03:35, April 25, 2019 (EDT)

==Simpsons World Streaming site closure confirmed==
Here is a source to confirm that the Simpsons inclusion in Disney+ will be replacing Simpsons World as the series' main streaming site: [https://deadline.com/2019/05/fx-simpsons-world-online-site-close-down-the-simpsons-moves-disney-plus-1202614427/]. [[Special:Contributions/67.171.250.202|67.171.250.202]] 22:30, May 15, 2019 (EDT)

== Question about some article. ==

can you delete Forrest Simpson? Some guy possibly misheard [[Great Uncle Boris]]' name as Forrest and created this page. -- {{Unsigned|Monster Bash}}
:[[User:Monster Bash|Monster Bash]] is right. It's "Boris", not "Forrest", and both articles (Boris and Forrest) have the same information. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 17:33, May 18, 2019 (EDT)
::Deleted. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 18:58, May 18, 2019 (EDT)

== About my earlier edit in "Simpsorama". ==

I considered this non-canon because both "The Simpsons" and "Futurama" are just TV shows to each other. They would've quickly recongnised that they are from TV show. {{Unsigned|Monster Bash|08:49, May 22, 2019}}
:As you can see in future episodes it's canon as [[Bender]] is seen in the house's basement. [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 10:11, May 22, 2019 (EDT)
::Yeah, Bender has appeared in episodes since the crossover implying that it is indeed canon. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 12:06, May 22, 2019 (EDT)
:::Didn't [[Al Jean|Al]] also confirmed it? [[User:LetsPlayNintendoITA|LetsPlayNintendoITA]] 15:03, May 22, 2019 (EDT)

== Twitter ==
I finally caved a bit to the social media trend and signed on with Twitter (@mythigator). I primarily joined to facilitate working on the Twitter account articles for [[ComicBookGuy]] and [[HomerJSimpson]], but I'll probably occasionally post some photos and rants. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 19:22, June 16, 2019 (EDT)

== Simpsons Fandom plagiarism again, and this time it's mutual ==
An anonymous IP left notes about a couple of references on the ''[[Peanuts]]'' references article. I did a Google search to check if they were valid, and the first search result was the ''Peanuts'' references article on Fandom. I got curious and checked it out, and found some entries that I had written and that were copied word-for-word from our article to Fandom. In the process, I also noticed that the notes the IP had left on our ''Peanuts'' article were copied word-for-word from Fandom. I rolled back the IP's changes and left them a warning message about plagiarism, including a link to our [[Wikisimpsons:Plagiarism|policy page]] on the topic. I then went onto Fandom and left RRabbit42 a note on his message wall about the situation. I let Roger know I was open to further contact about the plagiarism issue, so now it's just a case of wait and see whether and how he responds. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 02:25, August 10, 2019 (EDT)
:Okay. Do you know if the IP is adding the stuff themselves to both articles? And thanks for taking care of this. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 06:15, August 10, 2019 (EDT)
::Oh, and since you already have a dialogue open about plaigarism, can you bring up [https://simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/R.O.S.A. the R.O.S.A. article] too please, since they just seem to have stolen that today. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 07:50, August 10, 2019 (EDT)
:::Don't know yet whether the same person is making the additions to both ''Peanuts'' articles. Here it was an anonymous IP and at Fandom it was an account with a username. I haven't had a reply yet from Roger, but another user replied to my posting and mentioned R.O.S.A, among other things, and also left a message for an account that did the copying. Roger posted a reply on the copying account. Since he's in the process of handling things on his end, the wisest approach on our part would be to just wait and hear what he has to say. The ball is in his court, so let's give him a chance to play it. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 09:55, August 10, 2019 (EDT)
::::Quick update from Fandom. It doesn't look like Roger handed out any blocks or warnings related to their ''Peanuts'' article, but he did give the article a massive makeover, which included rewriting the material that the named user copied from our article. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 23:46, August 17, 2019 (EDT)
Moving back over to the left: That same IP is at it again; at something, anyway. The one whose edits to the ''Peanuts'' article you reverted is the same one that was plagiarizing last month. I'm going to check on Fandom's ''Peanuts'' article and see if anything has changed over there. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 19:28, September 10, 2019 (EDT)
:I took a look over at Fandom. There's no recent activity on their ''Peanuts'' article or on the named user account that did the actual copying and pasting from Wikisimpsons. At this point, it looks like it's just the IP being a git. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 23:27, September 10, 2019 (EDT)

== ''[[Happy Days]]'' ==
I take it it's your preference to keep franchise (i.e., references) and in-show information as separate articles? If so, I'll volunteer myself to create a franchise article for ''Happy Days''. The IP had more than enough material to create a franchise article, so there's a really good start already done. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 23:46, August 17, 2019 (EDT)
:Yes, they should be separate articles. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 06:55, August 18, 2019 (EDT)
::Thought so, so I'll go ahead and get rolling on that article. Probably also ''Laverne & Shirley'' while I'm at it. ''L&S'' is part of the same franchise (gotta love '70s TV sometimes) but I think there are enough references to it for the show to get its own article. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 10:01, August 18, 2019 (EDT)

== Legend template ==

Hi, when is this used "Any unmarked characters were non-speaking but had roles in the episode other than background cameos."? [[User:FatHomer|FatHomer]][[User talk:FatHomer|Talk]] 16:03, September 21, 2019 (EDT)
:If the camera lingers on a character and they're the focus of a shot, or the character just doesn't speak (i.e. animals). These are what that comes under. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 18:07, September 21, 2019 (EDT)
::I still think it's a bit ambiguous. What is a cameo then? Also if an animal for example barks, wouldn't that be considered voiced? If a character appears in a chanting mob would that character be voiced or cameo? [[User:FatHomer|FatHomer]][[User talk:FatHomer|Talk]] 08:16, September 22, 2019 (EDT)
:::Cameos are minor appearances where the character doesn't do anything. Barks etc. do not count as voices, unless an actor is credited for that voice (i.e. Dan is for SLH sometimes). An example of a character not being voiced but not being a cameo either is [[Elliot]] from "[[A Star Is Burns]]". He was the focus of the shot, and Burns was talking to him. But he didn't speak. As for crowds/mobs, unless a character's voice can be made out specifically, they don't count as voiced. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 08:24, September 22, 2019 (EDT)
::::Okay, thank you. [[User:FatHomer|FatHomer]][[User talk:FatHomer|Talk]] 09:14, September 22, 2019 (EDT)

== Content copied from Simpsons fandom ==

Hi, the newly created Valley Mercer appears to have appearances and image from the Simpsons fandom. Do we have an official policy against that? Also the article for that person already exists here [[Long haired girl]] [[User:FatHomer|FatHomer]][[User talk:FatHomer|Talk]] 16:55, September 24, 2019 (EDT)
:Thanks for pointing this out, it has been dealt with. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 17:58, September 24, 2019 (EDT)

== Movementarianism ==

But Maggie and Database are both characters that are voiced by Nancy. And of course they got brainwashed too. You saw Database when Lisa was ranting that the system was wrong. And Maggie had Barney the dinosaur. Yes, she might've not voiced them in the episode, but they're still Nancy characters nonetheless.{{Unsigned|Dthomas20|06:58, September 27, 2019}}

== For Solar Dragon (the big dragon of sun) ==

By LucasRM7
Hello solar, thank you very much for having me I have been an idiot in recent months instead of logging in but you could help me, I put references without logging in, could you put references that are anonymously in user numbers : 187.106.85.51 and 187.21.138.185 and please put in my username: LucasRM7 if possible thanks for understanding. if it can't be ok, I had pink floyd and I wish it were in my name you know? I do not know if you will believe that the number of this ip is my own, but believe me is yes! I live in santos, sao paulo, brazil if you don't believe me. see and confirm the ip, ok? LucasRM7 (talk) 21:35, September 28, 2019 (EDT) [[User:LucasRM7|LucasRM7]] ([[User talk:LucasRM7|talk]]) 21:58, September 28, 2019 (EDT)
:It is not possible to retroactively mark edits by an IP as by a user instead. Sorry. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 06:26, September 29, 2019 (EDT)

Solar I found a song from the first episode of the first season but I don’t know how to edit these codes so I just left it there you can fix it, it didn’t work very well, here: https://simpsonswiki.com/wiki/List_of_songs/Season_1 [[User:LucasRM7|LucasRM7]] ([[User talk:LucasRM7|talk]]) 16:17, May 17, 2020 (EDT)

== Wikisimpsons Answers down ==

Hi, wikisimpsons answers appears to be down. [[User:FatHomer|FatHomer]][[User talk:FatHomer|Talk]] 15:30, December 17, 2019 (EST)
:Jake is away at the moment but I'll try and get hold of him. However, I don't know if he'll be able to sort this out before he gets back. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 15:42, December 17, 2019 (EST)

== Star Wars ==

Those two sections were duplicates of the two sections on that page --[[User:FireyYoshi|FireyYoshi]] ([[User talk:FireyYoshi|talk]]) 20:03, December 23, 2019 (EST)FireyYoshi
:<s>What do you mean by "duplicates"? On the ''[[Star Wars]]'' page, there has never been more than one Twitter section or more than one merchandise section. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 02:21, December 24, 2019 (EST)</s>
:There's egg on my face, and it's not from the generous holiday breakfast that my employer provided this morning. Scratch the above: I just took another look at the page and FireyYoshi is right. The table of contents ends with "Twitter", "Merchandise", and "Trailers"; and then after "Trailers" there's another "Twitter" and another "Merchandise". I'm guessing the culprit was a copy and paste where more got pasted than was intended. From the page's revision history it looks like it happened in November, and FireyYoshi was the first one to notice it. FireyYoshi, my face is red and I beg your pardon. Best, M. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 02:36, December 24, 2019 (EST)

==TRsT Template==
What's the syntax/usage for the TRsT template? I tried to use it in the [[Happy Days (franchise)]] references article, in the entry for "[[When You Dish Upon a Star]]", because I wanted to get the same picture to "cover" two different references within the same episode. I couldn't get it to work, so I just ended up using carriage returns in the reference cell to separate the two references. Thanks! -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 13:25, January 4, 2020 (EST)
:It's <nowiki>{{TRsT|Content|<number of rows>}}</nowiki> where <number of rows> is the number you want to span. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 15:56, January 4, 2020 (EST)
::Hmm. That was the first thing I tried and it didn't work. Well, I'll go play with it in my sandbox and if my luck doesn't improve then I'll just have a pout in my sandbox. :-P Thanks! -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 18:01, January 4, 2020 (EST)
:::Have a look at the [[Marvel]] page, in particular the "[[I Am Furious (Yellow)]]" section, for an example of how it should be. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 18:12, January 4, 2020 (EST)
::::The Marvel page doesn't match what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to get the far left column of the table to span two rows. That portion of the Marvel page is using the TRs template to make columns other than the far left span multiple rows. If it turns out it can't be done, not a huge deal; I'll just get on Frinkiac and dig up an image to go with the "Homer meets Ron Howard" reference. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 03:33, January 5, 2020 (EST)
:::::I see what you were doing wrong. The Terminizor placeholder was supposed to be the next row, which meant it needed to be TBT (Table Body Top). I made the change in your sandbox as you can see [https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=User:Mythigator/Sandbox&curid=113063&diff=890775&oldid=890771 in this change]. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 07:16, January 5, 2020 (EST)
::::::Weird bit of code, that. It's like the TBT template tells it "start a new row", but with the other rows all accounted for by row spans, it ends up in the far right cell. Well, that's what sandboxes are for! :-) TYVM, M. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 10:05, January 5, 2020 (EST)

== Rewriting Episode Plots ==

I think the episode plots are way too long, and since I have the Simpsons guidebooks, can I copy the episode plots from it? [[User:FireyYoshi|FireyYoshi]] ([[User talk:FireyYoshi|talk]]) 10:30, January 12, 2020 (EST)
:Most of our episode plots are fine, 5-6 paragraphs are generally good. Any more than that and it can get way too bloated. Plots are to summarise the episode's plot points. As for copying episode plots from guidebooks, absolutely not. We want to have our own content written, which is why when I go over older episodes, I also rewrite the plots as many of them are leftover from our move from Simpsons Fandom several years ago. Taking plots from episode guides, even official ones, is plagiarism and against our wiki's rules.. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 10:36, January 12, 2020 (EST)

== Sorry ==

Hey Solar, sorry that I'm replying so late. I know it's been three and a half years since you left me those warning messages on my talk page. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry about those mistakes that I caused before, I never knew they were against the wiki policy until you told me on my talk page. I will try my very best to be carful next time. [[User:MarioKartfan64|MarioKartfan64]] ([[User talk:MarioKartfan64|talk]]) 22:45, January 12, 2020 (EST)

== Phil LaMarr ==
Dragon please, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to keep on changing it back and fourth numerous times. I just couldn't make up my mind on figuring out if he's really notable to be a comedian or not, please don't be angry. If you unprotected it, I promising I will never lay a finger on it ever again. But he really "IS" notable for being a "Comedian", I just couldn't make up my mind about it when I was editing it back and fourth. Please forgive me, I didn't mean to upset you. It's just that's it's one of my favorite articles I like to edit, I didn't mean to cause any harm. But please forgive me. I just wanted to fix it one last time and I promise I won't lay a finger on it ever again, I promise. [[User:MarioKartfan64|MarioKartfan64]] ([[User talk:MarioKartfan64|talk]]) 18:46, February 17, 2020 (EST)
:The article isn't likely to need changing anytime soon so it can stay protected. It was edited by multiple different IPs too, which I'm guessing was you. So, no, it won't be unprotected at the moment. Also, you shouldn't have a "favorite article" to edit. Especially when all you're doing is going back and forth making the same change over and over again. I'm not angry or upset, just annoyed at the amount of pointless edits you made to that article. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 19:17, February 17, 2020 (EST)
I think that was because I forgot to log in my account when I was editing it, that's why I was editing with an IP. But like I said, I didn't mean to cause all that disruptive editing. Like I said, I couldn't make up my mind on how it should have been. But what do u mean "at the moment" about it being protected? Does that mean eventually it will be unprotected? I'm not trying to bug you about it on wanting to edit it again, I'm just saying I should have kept it the way it was before I deleted it back and fourth. But your right, I know I shouldn't have kept on doing that over and over again, until I understood now on why you protected it. [[User:MarioKartfan64|MarioKartfan64]] ([[User talk:MarioKartfan64|talk]]) 10:55, February 18, 2020 (EST)

== Do me a favor. ==

Excuse me, would you mind deleting my upload of The Censor from [[Bartman Beyond]]? I realized someone else uploaded it before I did. --[[User:Funshine97|Funshine97]] ([[User talk:Funshine97|talk]]) 08:30, March 10, 2020 (EDT)
:Done. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 08:39, March 10, 2020 (EDT)
:: Thanks! :-) --[[User:Funshine97|Funshine97]] ([[User talk:Funshine97|talk]]) 10:46, March 10, 2020 (EDT)

== Tab Template Change / Current News ==
I noticed the modifiers for the Tab template have changed, so that (for example) where the old coding was <nowiki>{{Tab|gags=no|quotes=no}}</nowiki>, it's now <nowiki>{{Tab|ngq}}</nowiki>. As a database person, that strikes me as being a nice and clever space-saving measure, multiplying 14 or so fewer characters times probably thousands of articles on the wiki that use the Tab template modifiers. Are you going to be putting a bot to work on changing the templates througout the wiki, or will you need to have editors make the changes manually? (I did the changes on ''[[Maggie's Crib 1]]'' to get a feel for how the template change worked.)

Current news: As my user profile says, I live in the Seattle area, so pretty close to the epicenter of the coronavirus outbreak in the USA. There have been changes here like the governor banning large public gatherings and closing schools in the three-county area surrounding Seattle, and later extending the ban and closure to the entire state; and institutions such as public libraries and social services agencies closing their doors to the public. In instances like those, staff report to work and carry on operations via "distance" means such as telephone and the Internet. Also, I work at a health facility, so there have been changes at my workplace. Despite all that, my girlfriend and I are fine. We're not sick and we've had no trouble buying groceries, although the TP aisle was noticeably picked over when we went shopping last weekend. I'm going to be posting my observations of "minor detail" changes like that one on Twitter to provide a sense of what things are like here. Anyway, as I said, we are fine. Best, M. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 09:56, March 14, 2020 (EDT)
:I have been using the bot to do most of the changes. However, there will be some that I've missed. I'll have a look at the Maggie's Crib articles and the tabs in use in them when I get a chance and work on moving them over to the new format. If there's any others you notice, let me know and I'll get onto them too.
:And yeah, the corona virus is affecting everyone it seems. My mum is immuno-compromised so is very susceptible to it. I was going to London with friends in a week and a half's time, but that's fallen through now due to the virus. But, it'll give me more time to work on the wiki, watch Disney+ and play Animal Crossing at least. Haha. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 10:01, March 14, 2020 (EDT)
::If you don't mind, I'll go ahead and take care of the Maggie's Crib articles. I don't mind, as I kind of see them as my "babies" anyway. I took a couple of days off from work (planned in advance to coordinate with my g/f's vacation), so I've got a little extra time for wiki work. Depending on what transpires at the clinic, I may end up with even more extra time. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 15:03, March 14, 2020 (EDT)
:::I've done all the Maggie's Crib tabs now. At least, I'm pretty sure I have. Whenever I think I'm finished working on the tabs, I find more I need to do. lol. Now, it's a case of judging articles on a case by case basis on what tabs they need. If you've noticed anything I've missed, let me know. I've tried to document everything in the tables on each tab template page on how to use them, what they do etc. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 19:26, March 14, 2020 (EDT)
:::And then I realise I've missed something anyway. D'oh! [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 19:27, March 14, 2020 (EDT)
:(Moving back to the left) As you might have surmised from my recent edits, I am at home. We're fine. My workplace is a health clinic on a Native American reservation, and the tribal government announced a two-week shutdown of all but essential services, beginning March 17th. The health clinic was going to stay open with a skeleton crew, but had a positive case (not on a day when I was working) and closed for deep cleaning. That puts me in the position of doing what work I can from home, which leaves me with more time than usual to work on the wiki. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 11:28, March 18, 2020 (EDT)
::Good news. Looks like the clinic has re-opened. I've gotten e-mails referring to patients being seen there today. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 20:12, March 18, 2020 (EDT)
:::Well, hope everything's good where you are, stay safe. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 20:13, March 18, 2020 (EDT)

== Identifying Characters? ==
I'm trying to find names to go with three of the types of employees from ''[[C. Montgomery Burns' Handbook of World Domination]]''. I put the image up on Twitter. BTW, all still well in our house. My girlfriend is a grocery store worker so her work isn't going anywhere; she may even have some "pandemic bonuses" coming. My position in the health clinic has been reduced to part-time (24 hrs/week), which qualifies me for partial unemployment compensation. Between that and the federal government providing supplements, we're not hurting financially. Hope all is well with you and yours. Recent edits tell me that people are at least still alive! :-) -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 22:58, April 26, 2020 (EDT)
*Figured out the characters. Freddy Quimby and Krustylu network execs Diane and Jeremy. They haven't appeared that much, which made them not all that memorable. Plus, I was stuck on thinking they had to be more closely associated with Burns to make his list of employee types. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 20:54, April 29, 2020 (EDT)

== Warrin preists part 2 moes ==

but its kind of funny, you can delete it but put it somewhere else in the page at least or let me (unless its already in there, in that case it doesn't matter) {{Unsigned|Pelelovesball|15:25, May 7, 2020}}
:Doen't matter if it's "funny", which is also subjective. It's going into too much detail on an inconsequential scene from the episode. The Plot is for summarising the episode, not for mentioned everything that happened. Also, please sign comments with four tildes (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>) [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 15:29, May 7, 2020 (EDT)

== Spelling error ==

G'day Solar! I have [https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Warrin%27_Priests:_Part_Two/Credits&diff=926311&oldid=925596 just noticed] that there is a spelling error on [https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=Special:Search&limit=500&offset=0&profile=default&search=fictitous several hundred] credits pages. —[[User:Frederick|<big>Fred</big>]] ([[User talk:Frederick|Talk]] '''•''' [[Special:Contributions/Frederick|Contribs.]]) 08:42, May 10, 2020 (EDT)
:Oops. I've just set my bot going correcting that error. Thanks for pointing it out. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 10:55, May 10, 2020 (EDT)

==Disco Stu's main image==
I think it's missing on the infobox and on appearances pages. I need you to re-fix it, please. -- [[User:HomerGriffin|HomerGriffin]] ([[User talk:HomerGriffin|talk]]) 11:42, May 14, 2020 (EDT)
:It's happening with some other images, too. Instead of the image being displayed, the page shows a box that says "Error creating thumbnail: Unable to save thumbnail to destination". Database hiccup? I thought it was just Firefox being anal-retentive until I checked in Chrome and saw the same thing. -- [[User:Mythigator|Mythigator]] ([[User talk:Mythigator|talk]]) 00:17, May 14, 2020 (EDT)
::Jake, our server manager, is aware of it and has been looking into what is causing it. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 06:24, May 14, 2020 (EDT)

== Why did you this without any notice? ==

https://simpsonswiki.com/w/index.php?title=User%3AAbbot%2Ftest&action=historysubmit&type=revision&diff=936644&oldid=845171 -- [[User:2F13|2F13]] ([[User talk:2F13|talk]]) 15:23, July 12, 2020 (EDT)

Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play/Quotes

2020-05-06T07:34:35Z

2F13: linking, formatting

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Monkey Suit|The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer}}

{{qf|[[Bart]]}} You suck!
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} I concur!
----
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} We've been through more hardships than the Jews and [[Charlie Brown]] put together!
----
{{qf|Homer}} So why didn't you marry one of your crummy backup dancers?
{{qf|[[Tabitha Vixx]]}} They're day laborers. We pick them up in the Home Depot parking lot.
----
{{qf|"Jock Squawk" host}} And that's why Lou Gehrig was a selfish crybaby who deserved to die! [[Springfield]], what do you think?
----
{{qf|Isotopes announcer}} [[Led Zeppelin]] is a whole lotta love!
----
{{qf|Homer}} And you said it would never work.
{{qf|[[Duffman]]}} Duffman said he would do whatever you wanted! Please stop kicking and punching Duffman!
----
{{qf|Duffman}} Duffman gives the people what they want!
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Weren't you just tied up in the blimp?
{{qf|Duffman}} Three Duffmen are working this game tonight!
{{qf|Second Duffman}} ''[entering]'' Don't tell the children, it's disillusioning!
{{qf|Both Duffmen}} Duffman! Duffman! Duffman! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
----
{{qf|Lisa}} Mom and Dad can't do marriage counselling. If you listen closely, you can here them arguing now. ''[they then listen closely]''
{{qf|Homer (in distance)}} And I say, a monkey ''can'' mow our lawn!
----
{{qf|Baseball Announcer}} That ball is going, going, going...and like America's credibility on the world stage, that ball is gone!
----
{{qf|[[Lenny]]}} Remember when we used to kiss like that Carl?... with our respective girlfriends?
{{qf|[[Carl]]}} I wonder where Jill and Kelly are now.
{{qf|Lenny}} I heard Jill died and Kelly I think is a prostitute.
----
{{qf|Bart}} ''[seeing Tabitha dancing around a lamp]'' ''[on his cellphone]'' Cancel all my appointments.
----
{{qf|Marge}} ''[to Homer]'' The only person you should be giving chicken grease neck rubs to is me! but not me because I think they're disgusting!
{{qf|Homer}} Oh, so now we're judging each other based on things we've done?! Real nice, Marge!! Class act!!

{{Season 17|Q}}

Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play/Quotes

2020-05-06T07:31:08Z

2F13: formatting

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Monkey Suit|The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer}}

'''[[Bart]]:''' You suck!
'''[[Lisa]]:''' I concur!
----
'''Homer:''' We've been through more hardships than the Jews and Charlie Brown put together!
----
'''Homer:''' So why didn't you marry one of your crummy backup dancers?
'''Tabitha Vixx:''' They're day laborers. We pick them up in the Home Depot parking lot.
----
'''"Jock Squawk" host:''' And that's why Lou Gehrig was a selfish crybaby who deserved to die! Springfield, what do you think?
----
'''Isotopes announcer:''' Led Zeppelin is a whole lotta love!
----
'''Homer:''' And you said it would never work.
'''[[Duffman]]:''' Duffman said he would do whatever you wanted! Please stop kicking and punching Duffman!
----
'''Duffman:''' Duffman gives the people what they want!
'''Marge:''' Weren't you just tied up in the blimp?
'''Duffman:''' Three Duffmen are working this game tonight!
'''Second Duffman (entering):''' Don't tell the children, it's disillusioning!
'''Both Duffmen:''' Duffman! Duffman! Duffman! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
----
'''Lisa:''' Mom and Dad can't do marriage counselling. If you listen closely, you can here them arguing now. ''(they then listen closely)''
'''Homer (in distance):''' And I say, a monkey ''can'' mow our lawn!
----
'''Baseball Announcer:''' That ball is going, going, going...and like America's credibility on the world stage, that ball is gone!
----
'''[[Lenny]]:''' Remember when we used to kiss like that Carl?...with our respective girlfriends?
'''[[Carl]]:''' I wonder where Jill and Kelly are now. '''Lenny:''' I heard Jill died and Kelly I think is a prostitute.
----
'''Bart (seeing Tabitha dancing around a lamp):''' ''(on his cellphone) ''Cancel all my appointments.
----
'''Marge:''' ''(To Homer)'' The only person you should be giving chicken grease neck rubs to is me! but not me because I think they're disgusting!
'''Homer:''' Oh, so now we're judging each other based on things we've done?! Real nice, Marge!! Class act!!

{{Season 17|Q}}

The Monkey Suit/Quotes

2020-05-06T07:29:29Z

2F13: linking, formatting

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Regarding Margie|Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play}}

{{qf|[[Todd]]}} Daddy, was Mommy a monkey? I can't remember.
{{qf|[[Ned]]}} No one was ever a monkey! Everything is what it was and always will be! [[God]] put us here and that's that!
{{qf|Todd}} But you said a stork brought me.
{{qf|Ned}} Umm... that was God disguised as a stork.
{{qf|[[Rod]]}} Then who brings baby storks?
{{qf|Ned}} There's no such thing as storks! It's all God!
{{qf|Todd}} ''[kneeling beside a statue of a stork]'' Please bless Daddy and Roddy...
{{qf|Ned}} Stop praying to that stork!
----
{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} Lisa Simpson, you're under arrest for the teaching of non-biblical science!
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} There are so many worse crimes. Why are you persecuting me?
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Well, we only have the man power to enforce the last law passed. You know, it's not the best system, but... well, in fact, it's pretty much the worst.
----
{{qf|TV Host}} So you are calling God a liar? An Unbiased Comparison of Evolution and Creationism. Let's say hi to two books. One; ''The Bible'' was written by our Lord. The other; ''The Origin of Species'' was written by a cowardly drunk named Charles Darwin.
----
{{qf|Ned Flanders}} As sure as I am that Jesus hates hip-hop!.
----
{{qf|[[Miss Hoover]]}} Class, the town has spoken. From now on we're only teaching one theory: creationism. Now please hand in your evolution books to [[Groundskeeper Willie]] while I beat this ominous drum.
----
{{qf|[[Barney]]}} [[Homer]]'s son's sister is right!
----
{{qf|[[Clarisse Drummond]]}} This trial is the biggest load of... Oh for crying out loud!
{{qf|[[Wallace Brady]]}} Now Bambi, who started that forest fire that killed your mother? Evolution?! My my my...
----
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Weaving? Homer, you're my father. You're supposed to protect me from things like this.

{{Season 17|Q}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Monkey Suit/Quotes, The}}

Regarding Margie/Quotes

2020-05-06T07:26:45Z

2F13: EpisodePrevNextQuo

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Girls Just Want to Have Sums|The Monkey Suit}}

:''[Homer finishes painting "'74 Oakland A's - Best Team Ever" on his curb.]''
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Dad, all you had to do was paint one number, now no one is going to be able to find our house!
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} But sweetie, I just wanted to tell the '74 Oakland A's how I felt about them.
:''[Sal Bando, Gene Tenace and several members of the '74 A's roll up in a convertible.]''
{{qf|[[Sal Bando]]}} Look, that guy remembers us!
{{qf|[[Gene Tenace]]}} Hey Sal Bando, give him a '74 A's thank you honk!
:''[Sal Bando honks horn and drives off.]''
{{qf|Homer}} My work here is done.
----
{{qf|[[Brenda]]}} Hi. I'm Brenda Weingarten.
{{qf|Homer}} Aaaah!
----
{{qf|[[Dr. Hibbert]]}} How many fingers am I holding up?
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Two.
{{qf|Hibbert}} Very good, now I'll put them back into the jar.
{{qf|Marge}} Now I just have one question. ''[pointing to Homer, Bart, and Lisa]'' Who are you people?
:''[Homer, Bart, and Lisa gasp.]''
{{qf|Homer}} She doesn't recognize us! ''[grabs Dr. Hibbert]'' You monster! What have you done to my face?!
----
{{qf|Marge}} Who?
{{qf|Homer}} I'm your husband! We're the same age!
{{qf|Marge}} But you look so much more... ravaged... than I do.
{{qf|Homer}} Ha ha! I do eat a lot of crap.
----
{{qf|[[Moe]]}} For once, things are going ''my'' way. ''[his shotgun fires into the ground and a black substance spews out]'' I've struck oil! ''[begins dancing around]''
{{qf|DWP Guy 1}} When do we tell him that's not oil?
{{qf|DWP Guy 2}} Let him have his moment.
----
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[in a tree with Bart]'' Oh no! This is horrible!
{{qf|Bart}} We've gotta tell Dad!
{{qf|Homer}} ''[in the same tree]'' Oh no! Bart and Lisa are gonna tell me something horrible!
{{qf|[[Wiggum]]}} ''[in the same tree in a crashed hang glider]'' 'Buy the police a hang glider', you said! 'It will help us', you said!
{{qf|[[Lou]]}} You said you weigh only 180 pounds!
{{qf|Wiggum}} Shut up and look for crime.
----
{{qf|Marge}} Don't answer the door! I don't want that judgmental bitch in my house!
----
{{qf|[[Ned]]}} Now, how would you boys like to clean my garage for $100?
{{qf|Bart}} What? Honest work for honest pay? ''[they scream and run off]''
----
{{qf|Homer}} You idiot! ''[the man screams]'' Do you know what you just gave up?
{{qf|Man}} Who the hell are you?
{{qf|Homer}} The wisest, wettest man you'll ever meet.
{{qf|Man}} Go on.
{{qf|Homer}} You just walked away from the sweetest most beautiful woman a guy could want. In ten years, she never had the last slice of pizza and she's never complained. Every election she wishes she could vote for both guys because they both seem nice. And there's a light inside her that makes everyone else look better. And you blew her off.
{{qf|Man}} Dude, she's got three kids.
{{qf|Homer}} I...really? Well, she's still great.
----
{{qf|Homer}} What do you say we stop for a drink on the way home?
{{qf|Marge}} ''You'' drink?
{{qf|Homer}} Uh, yeah, I started while you were in the hospital. You see, I recently tried this thing called beer...
{{qf|Marge}} ''[gasps]'' I remember everything now. You get drunk all the time!
{{qf|Homer}} Oh... but do you also remember that you're an enabler?
{{qf|Marge}} Of course! That's why we're such a great team ''[she kiss Homer on the cheek]''.
:''[Homer begins swerving uncontrollably.]''
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, have you been drinking today?
{{qf|Homer}} I sure have, ''partner''!
----
{{qf|[[Luigi]]}} ''[singing while playing an accordion during Marge and Homer's date]' ''Homer Simpson is a great guy. He paid me ten bucks so I would lie. Truth is, he's not so great. He's the one man I truly hate.''
{{qf|Homer}} ''[crying in happiness)]'' I wish I knew Italian.

{{Season 17|Q}}

Regarding Margie/Quotes

2020-05-06T07:24:46Z

2F13: linking, formatting

{{TabQ}}

:''[Homer finishes painting "'74 Oakland A's - Best Team Ever" on his curb.]''
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Dad, all you had to do was paint one number, now no one is going to be able to find our house!
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} But sweetie, I just wanted to tell the '74 Oakland A's how I felt about them.
:''[Sal Bando, Gene Tenace and several members of the '74 A's roll up in a convertible.]''
{{qf|[[Sal Bando]]}} Look, that guy remembers us!
{{qf|[[Gene Tenace]]}} Hey Sal Bando, give him a '74 A's thank you honk!
:''[Sal Bando honks horn and drives off.]''
{{qf|Homer}} My work here is done.
----
{{qf|[[Brenda]]}} Hi. I'm Brenda Weingarten.
{{qf|Homer}} Aaaah!
----
{{qf|[[Dr. Hibbert]]}} How many fingers am I holding up?
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Two.
{{qf|Hibbert}} Very good, now I'll put them back into the jar.
{{qf|Marge}} Now I just have one question. ''[pointing to Homer, Bart, and Lisa]'' Who are you people?
:''[Homer, Bart, and Lisa gasp.]''
{{qf|Homer}} She doesn't recognize us! ''[grabs Dr. Hibbert]'' You monster! What have you done to my face?!
----
{{qf|Marge}} Who?
{{qf|Homer}} I'm your husband! We're the same age!
{{qf|Marge}} But you look so much more... ravaged... than I do.
{{qf|Homer}} Ha ha! I do eat a lot of crap.
----
{{qf|[[Moe]]}} For once, things are going ''my'' way. ''[his shotgun fires into the ground and a black substance spews out]'' I've struck oil! ''[begins dancing around]''
{{qf|DWP Guy 1}} When do we tell him that's not oil?
{{qf|DWP Guy 2}} Let him have his moment.
----
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[in a tree with Bart]'' Oh no! This is horrible!
{{qf|Bart}} We've gotta tell Dad!
{{qf|Homer}} ''[in the same tree]'' Oh no! Bart and Lisa are gonna tell me something horrible!
{{qf|[[Wiggum]]}} ''[in the same tree in a crashed hang glider]'' 'Buy the police a hang glider', you said! 'It will help us', you said!
{{qf|[[Lou]]}} You said you weigh only 180 pounds!
{{qf|Wiggum}} Shut up and look for crime.
----
{{qf|Marge}} Don't answer the door! I don't want that judgmental bitch in my house!
----
{{qf|[[Ned]]}} Now, how would you boys like to clean my garage for $100?
{{qf|Bart}} What? Honest work for honest pay? ''[they scream and run off]''
----
{{qf|Homer}} You idiot! ''[the man screams]'' Do you know what you just gave up?
{{qf|Man}} Who the hell are you?
{{qf|Homer}} The wisest, wettest man you'll ever meet.
{{qf|Man}} Go on.
{{qf|Homer}} You just walked away from the sweetest most beautiful woman a guy could want. In ten years, she never had the last slice of pizza and she's never complained. Every election she wishes she could vote for both guys because they both seem nice. And there's a light inside her that makes everyone else look better. And you blew her off.
{{qf|Man}} Dude, she's got three kids.
{{qf|Homer}} I...really? Well, she's still great.
----
{{qf|Homer}} What do you say we stop for a drink on the way home?
{{qf|Marge}} ''You'' drink?
{{qf|Homer}} Uh, yeah, I started while you were in the hospital. You see, I recently tried this thing called beer...
{{qf|Marge}} ''[gasps]'' I remember everything now. You get drunk all the time!
{{qf|Homer}} Oh... but do you also remember that you're an enabler?
{{qf|Marge}} Of course! That's why we're such a great team ''[she kiss Homer on the cheek]''.
:''[Homer begins swerving uncontrollably.]''
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, have you been drinking today?
{{qf|Homer}} I sure have, ''partner''!
----
{{qf|[[Luigi]]}} ''[singing while playing an accordion during Marge and Homer's date]' ''Homer Simpson is a great guy. He paid me ten bucks so I would lie. Truth is, he's not so great. He's the one man I truly hate.''
{{qf|Homer}} ''[crying in happiness)]'' I wish I knew Italian.

{{Season 17|Q}}

Regarding Margie/Quotes

2020-05-06T07:19:57Z

2F13: major formatting

{{TabQ}}

:''[Homer finishes painting "'74 Oakland A's - Best Team Ever" on his curb.]''
'''Lisa:''' Dad, all you had to do was paint one number, now no one is going to be able to find our house!
'''Homer:''' But sweetie, I just wanted to tell the '74 Oakland A's how I felt about them.
''[Sal Bando, Gene Tenace and several members of the '74 A's roll up in a convertible.]''
'''Sal Bando:''' Look, that guy remembers us!
'''Gene Tenace:''' Hey Sal Bando, give him a '74 A's thank you honk!
''[Sal Bando honks horn and drives off.]''
'''Homer:''' My work here is done.
----
{{qf|Brenda}} Hi. I'm Brenda Weingarten.
'''Homer:''' Aaaah!
----
{{qf|Dr. Hibbert}} How many fingers am I holding up?
'''Marge:''' Two.
'''Hibbert:''' Very good, now I'll put them back into the jar.
'''Marge:''' Now I just have one question. ''[pointing to Homer, Bart, and Lisa]'' Who are you people?
''[Homer, Bart, and Lisa gasp.]''
'''Homer:''' She doesn't recognize us! ''[grabs Dr. Hibbert]'' You monster! What have you done to my face?!
----
{{qf|Marge}} Who?
'''Homer:''' I'm your husband! We're the same age!
'''Marge:''' But you look so much more... ravaged... than I do.
'''Homer:''' Ha ha! I do eat a lot of crap.
----
{{qf|Moe}} For once, things are going ''my'' way. ''[his shotgun fires into the ground and a black substance spews out]'' I've struck oil! ''[begins dancing around]''
'''DWP Guy 1:''' When do we tell him that's not oil?
'''DWP Guy 2:''' Let him have his moment.
----
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[in a tree with Bart]'' Oh no! This is horrible!
'''Bart:''' We've gotta tell Dad!
''Homer:''' ''[in the same tree]'' Oh no! Bart and Lisa are gonna tell me something horrible!
'''Wiggum:''' ''[in the same tree in a crashed hang glider]'' 'Buy the police a hang glider', you said! 'It will help us', you said!
'''Lou:''' You said you weigh only 180 pounds!
'''Wiggum:''' Shut up and look for crime.
----
{{qf|Marge}} Don't answer the door! I don't want that judgmental bitch in my house!
----
{{qf|Ned}} Now, how would you boys like to clean my garage for $100?
'''Bart:''' What? Honest work for honest pay? ''[they scream and run off]''
----
{{qf|Homer}} You idiot! ''[the man screams]'' Do you know what you just gave up?
'''Man:''' Who the hell are you?
'''Homer:''' The wisest, wettest man you'll ever meet.
'''Man:''' Go on.
'''Homer:''' You just walked away from the sweetest most beautiful woman a guy could want. In ten years, she never had the last slice of pizza and she's never complained. Every election she wishes she could vote for both guys because they both seem nice. And there's a light inside her that makes everyone else look better. And you blew her off.
'''Man:''' Dude, she's got three kids.
'''Homer:''' I...really? Well, she's still great.
----
{{qf|Homer}} What do you say we stop for a drink on the way home?
'''Marge:''' ''You'' drink?
'''Homer:''' Uh, yeah, I started while you were in the hospital. You see, I recently tried this thing called beer...
'''Marge:''' ''[gasps]'' I remember everything now. You get drunk all the time!
'''Homer:''' Oh...but do you also remember that you're an enabler?
'''Marge:''' Of course! That's why we're such a great team ''[she kiss Homer on the cheek]''.
''[Homer begins swerving uncontrollably.]''
'''Marge:''' Homer, have you been drinking today?
'''Homer:''' I sure have, ''partner''!
----
{{qf|Luigi}} ''[singing while playing an accordion during Marge and Homer's date]'' ''Homer Simpson is a great guy. He paid me ten bucks so I would lie. Truth is, he's not so great. He's the one man I truly hate.''
'''Homer:''' ''[rying in happiness)]'' I wish I knew Italian.

{{Season 17|Q}}

Girls Just Want to Have Sums/Quotes

2020-05-06T06:58:06Z

2F13: formatting

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Wettest Stories Ever Told|Regarding Margie}}

----
{{qf|[[Chalmers]]}} Skinner, you've got to deal with these kooks.
{{qf|[[Skinner]]}} Don't worry, I have a plan: pretend I agree with them.
{{qf|Chalmers}} Well, you'd better hurry. ''[pointing to his car]'' Look what they've done to your car.
{{qf|Skinner}} No, that's how its always looks.
{{qf|Chalmers}} Oh, how sad.
----
{{qf|Skinner}} Today, we celebrate the first of many, many, many, many diversity forums. Why is it that women 'appear' to be worse at math than men? What is the source of this 'illusion' or as I call it, the biggest lie ever told.
{{qf|[[Lindsey Naegle]]}} You're a worse version of [[Hitler]]!
{{qf|Skinner}} Please believe me. I-I understand the problem of women. ''[he moves from behind the podium revealing he's wearing a purple dress and purple heels]'' See. ''[the audience gasps]''
{{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Ha, ha! ''[sing-songy]'' The principal's a {{w|Transvestism|tranny}}.
{{qf|Skinner}} Am I wearing women's clothes? I didn't notice. When I look in my closet, I don't see male clothes or female clothes. They're all the same.
{{qf|[[Edna Krabappel]]}} Are you saying that men and women are identical?
{{qf|Skinner}} Oh, no, of course not! Women are unique in every way.
{{qf|Lindsey Naegle}} Now he's saying men and women ''aren't'' equal!
{{qf|Skinner}} No, no, no! It's the differences of which there are none that makes the sameness exceptional. Just tell me what to say! ''[he starts to breathe heavily then pass out]''
{{qf|Chalmers}} Oh dear. Um, attention students. Due to nervous exhaustion and {{w|Verbal diarrhea|diarrhea of the mouth}}... ''[the students start laughing]'' Yes, yes, yes. I said diarrhea.
----
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} You'd do that for me? That's so sweet! ''[hugs him]''
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} ''[pushes her away]'' You're a boy. Nothing is sweet. ''[steps on her foot]''
{{qf|Lisa}} Ow! That hurt!
{{qf|Bart}} Sweet.
----
{{qf|Lisa}} Principal Skinner?
{{qf|Skinner}} That's ''Groundskeeper'' Skinner now.
{{qf|[[Willie]]}} ''Assistant'' Groundskeeper, ya moron!
----
{{qf|[[Ralph]]}} I got hit by Boy Lisa and Girl Lisa!
----
{{qf|Ralph}} ''[covered in ants]'' These dots are itchy!
----
{{qf|Cat}} ''[singing to [[The Lion King]]'s Circle of Life]'' In the circle, the circle of-
{{qf|[[Itchy]]}} ''[Spoken]'' Knife! ''[cuts puppets arms and legs and red streamers fly out]''
----
:''[Lisa thinks of math, as they speak to her.]''
{{qf|{{w|Inequality|Greater-than-or-equal-to}} sign (≥)}} Do it Lisa! You'll be greater than or equal to boys.
{{qf|Number eight}} Even though you're only eight ''[flips over to side to become {{w|infinity}} sign]'', your possibilities are infinite.
{{qf|Number Twenty-Seven}} Twenty-seven!
----
{{qf|Lisa}} What are you drawing?
{{qf|Nelson}} A robot with guns for arms shooting a plane made of guns that fires guns.
----
{{qf|Lisa}} Thank you or should i say thank you! ''[removes her disguise and the entire student gasps in shock]''
{{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} Toilet is Lisa?
{{qf|[[Dolph]]}} We've been Yantold.
{{qf|Lisa}} That's right everyone. The best math on the whole school is a girl!
----
{{qf|Lisa}} Forgive me for this?
{{qf|Ralph}} Okay. ''[Lisa punches Ralph in the shoulder and he starts crying and walks away]''
----

{{Season 17|Q}}

User talk:Jake

2019-12-27T07:59:29Z

2F13: /* www.simpsonswiki.com disappeared */ new section

{{User:Jake/Talkheader}}


== Test email function ==

Just testing the email function. [[User:Solar Dragon|The]] [[User talk:Solar Dragon|Solar]] [[Special:Contributions/Solar Dragon|Dragon]] 08:17, July 19, 2017 (EDT)

== www.simpsonswiki.com disappeared ==

Dear Jake, I've noticed that www.simpsonswiki.com "A" record is missing from the DNS. That breaks millions of bookmarks and links worldwide. Could you restore it? Thanks --[[User:2F13|2F13]] ([[User talk:2F13|talk]]) 02:59, December 27, 2019 (EST)

Template:EpisodePrevNextList

2019-12-11T05:03:08Z

2F13: Adding 674

{{#switch: {{PAGENAME:{{{1|}}}}}
|TV Simpsons=Short 48
|Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire=001
|Bart the Genius=002
|Homer's Odyssey=003
|There's No Disgrace Like Home=004
|Bart the General=005
|Moaning Lisa=006
|The Call of the Simpsons=007
|The Telltale Head=008
|Life on the Fast Lane=009
|Homer's Night Out=010
|The Crepes of Wrath=011
|Krusty Gets Busted=012
|Some Enchanted Evening=013
|Bart Gets an "F"=014
|Simpson and Delilah=015
|Treehouse of Horror=016
|Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish=017
|Dancin' Homer=018
|Dead Putting Society=019
|Bart vs. Thanksgiving=020
|Bart the Daredevil=021
|Itchy & Scratchy & Marge=022
|Bart Gets Hit by a Car=023
|One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish=024
|The Way We Was=025
|Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment=026
|Principal Charming=027
|Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?=028
|Bart's Dog Gets an "F"=029
|Old Money=030
|Brush with Greatness=031
|Lisa's Substitute=032
|The War of the Simpsons=033
|Three Men and a Comic Book=034
|Blood Feud=035
|Stark Raving Dad=036
|Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington=037
|When Flanders Failed=038
|Bart the Murderer=039
|Homer Defined=040
|Like Father, Like Clown=041
|Treehouse of Horror II=042
|Lisa's Pony=043
|Saturdays of Thunder=044
|Flaming Moe's=045
|Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk=046
|I Married Marge=047
|Radio Bart=048
|Lisa the Greek=049
|Homer Alone=050
|Bart the Lover=051
|Homer at the Bat=052
|Separate Vocations=053
|Dog of Death=054
|Colonel Homer=055
|Black Widower=056
|The Otto Show=057
|Bart's Friend Falls in Love=058
|Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?=059
|Kamp Krusty=060
|A Streetcar Named Marge=061
|Homer the Heretic=062
|Lisa the Beauty Queen=063
|Treehouse of Horror III=064
|Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie=065
|Marge Gets a Job=066
|New Kid on the Block=067
|Mr. Plow=068
|Lisa's First Word=069
|Homer's Triple Bypass=070
|Marge vs. the Monorail=071
|Selma's Choice=072
|Brother from the Same Planet=073
|I Love Lisa=074
|Duffless=075
|Last Exit to Springfield=076
|So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show=077
|The Front=078
|Whacking Day=079
|Marge in Chains=080
|Krusty Gets Kancelled=081
|Homer's Barbershop Quartet=082
|Cape Feare=083
|Homer Goes to College=084
|Rosebud=085
|Treehouse of Horror IV=086
|Marge on the Lam=087
|Bart's Inner Child=088
|Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood=089
|The Last Temptation of Homer=090
|$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)=091
|Homer the Vigilante=092
|Bart Gets Famous=093
|Homer and Apu=094
|Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy=095
|Deep Space Homer=096
|Homer Loves Flanders=097
|Bart Gets an Elephant=098
|Burns' Heir=099
|Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song=100
|The Boy Who Knew Too Much=101
|Lady Bouvier's Lover=102
|Secrets of a Successful Marriage=103
|Bart of Darkness=104
|Lisa's Rival=105
|Another Simpsons Clip Show=106
|Itchy & Scratchy Land=107
|Sideshow Bob Roberts=108
|Treehouse of Horror V=109
|Bart's Girlfriend=110
|Lisa on Ice=111
|Homer Badman=112
|Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy=113
|Fear of Flying=114
|Homer the Great=115
|And Maggie Makes Three=116
|Bart's Comet=117
|Homie the Clown=118
|Bart vs. Australia=119
|Homer vs. Patty and Selma=120
|A Star Is Burns=121
|Lisa's Wedding=122
|Two Dozen and One Greyhounds=123
|The PTA Disbands=124
|'Round Springfield=125
|The Springfield Connection=126
|Lemon of Troy=127
|Who Shot Mr. Burns?=128,129
|Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)=128
|Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)=129
|Radioactive Man=130
|Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily=131
|Bart Sells His Soul=132
|Lisa the Vegetarian=133
|Treehouse of Horror VI=134
|King-Size Homer=135
|Mother Simpson=136
|Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming=137
|The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular=138
|Marge Be Not Proud=139
|Team Homer=140
|Two Bad Neighbors=141
|Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield=142
|Bart the Fink=143
|Lisa the Iconoclast=144
|Homer the Smithers=145
|The Day the Violence Died=146
|A Fish Called Selma=147
|Bart on the Road=148
|22 Short Films About Springfield=149
|Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"=150
|Much Apu About Nothing=151
|Homerpalooza=152
|Summer of 4 Ft. 2=153
|Treehouse of Horror VII=154
|You Only Move Twice=155
|The Homer They Fall=156
|Burns, Baby Burns=157
|Bart After Dark=158
|A Milhouse Divided=159
|Lisa's Date with Density=160
|Hurricane Neddy=161
|El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer=162
|The Springfield Files=163
|The Twisted World of Marge Simpson=164
|Mountain of Madness=165
|Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious=166
|The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show=167
|Homer's Phobia=168
|Brother from Another Series=169
|My Sister, My Sitter=170
|Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment=171
|Grade School Confidential=172
|The Canine Mutiny=173
|The Old Man and the Lisa=174
|In Marge We Trust=175
|Homer's Enemy=176
|The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase=177
|The Secret War of Lisa Simpson=178
|The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson=179
|The Principal and the Pauper=180
|Lisa's Sax=181
|Treehouse of Horror VIII=182
|The Cartridge Family=183
|Bart Star=184
|The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons=185
|Lisa the Skeptic=186
|Realty Bites=187
|Miracle on Evergreen Terrace=188
|All Singing, All Dancing=189
|Bart Carny=190
|The Joy of Sect=191
|Das Bus=192
|The Last Temptation of Krust=193
|Dumbbell Indemnity=194
|Lisa the Simpson=195
|This Little Wiggy=196
|Simpson Tide=197
|The Trouble with Trillions=198
|Girly Edition=199
|Trash of the Titans=200
|King of the Hill=201
|Lost Our Lisa=202
|Natural Born Kissers=203
|Lard of the Dance=204
|The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace=205
|Bart the Mother=206
|Treehouse of Horror IX=207
|When You Dish Upon a Star=208
|D'oh-in' in the Wind=209
|Lisa Gets an "A"=210
|Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"=211
|Mayored to the Mob=212
|Viva Ned Flanders=213
|Wild Barts Can't Be Broken=214
|Sunday, Cruddy Sunday=215
|Homer to the Max=216
|I'm with Cupid=217
|Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"=218
|Make Room for Lisa=219
|Maximum Homerdrive=220
|Simpsons Bible Stories=221
|Mom and Pop Art=222
|The Old Man and the "C" Student=223
|Monty Can't Buy Me Love=224
|They Saved Lisa's Brain=225
|Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo=226
|Beyond Blunderdome=227
|Brother's Little Helper=228
|Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?=229
|Treehouse of Horror X=230
|E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)=231
|Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder=232
|Eight Misbehavin'=233
|Take My Wife, Sleaze=234
|Grift of the Magi=235
|Little Big Mom=236
|Faith Off=237
|The Mansion Family=238
|Saddlesore Galactica=239
|Alone Again, Natura-Diddily=240
|Missionary: Impossible=241
|Pygmoelian=242
|Bart to the Future=243
|Days of Wine and D'oh'ses=244
|Kill the Alligator and Run=245
|Last Tap Dance in Springfield=246
|It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge=247
|Behind the Laughter=248
|Treehouse of Horror XI=249
|A Tale of Two Springfields=250
|Insane Clown Poppy=251
|Lisa the Tree Hugger=252
|Homer vs. Dignity=253
|The Computer Wore Menace Shoes=254
|The Great Money Caper=255
|Skinner's Sense of Snow=256
|HOMЯ=257
|Pokey Mom=258
|Worst Episode Ever=259
|Tennis the Menace=260
|Day of the Jackanapes=261
|New Kids on the Blecch=262
|Hungry, Hungry Homer=263
|Bye, Bye, Nerdie=264
|Simpson Safari=265
|Trilogy of Error=266
|I'm Goin' to Praiseland=267
|Children of a Lesser Clod=268
|Simpsons Tall Tales=269
|Treehouse of Horror XII=270
|The Parent Rap=271
|Homer the Moe=272
|A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love=273
|The Blunder Years=274
|She of Little Faith=275
|Brawl in the Family=276
|Sweets and Sour Marge=277
|Jaws Wired Shut=278
|Half-Decent Proposal=279
|The Bart Wants What It Wants=280
|The Lastest Gun in the West=281
|The Old Man and the Key=282
|Tales from the Public Domain=283
|Blame It on Lisa=284
|Weekend at Burnsie's=285
|Gump Roast=286
|I Am Furious (Yellow)=287
|The Sweetest Apu=288
|Little Girl in the Big Ten=289
|The Frying Game=290
|Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge=291
|Treehouse of Horror XIII=292
|How I Spent My Strummer Vacation=293
|Bart vs. Lisa vs. 3rd Grade=294
|Large Marge=295
|Helter Shelter=296
|The Great Louse Detective=297
|Special Edna=298
|The Dad Who Knew Too Little=299
|The Strong Arms of the Ma=300
|Pray Anything=301
|Barting Over=302
|I'm Spelling As Fast As I Can=303
|A Star Is Born Again=304
|Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington=305
|C.E.D'oh=306
|'Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky=307
|Three Gays of the Condo=308
|Dude, Where's My Ranch?=309
|Old Yeller-Belly=310
|Brake My Wife, Please=311
|The Bart of War=312
|Moe Baby Blues=313
|Treehouse of Horror XIV=314
|My Mother the Carjacker=315
|The President Wore Pearls=316
|The Regina Monologues=317
|The Fat and the Furriest=318
|Today I Am a Clown=319
|'Tis the Fifteenth Season=320
|Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens and Gays=321
|I, (Annoyed Grunt)-bot=322
|Diatribe of a Mad Housewife=323
|Margical History Tour=324
|Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore=325
|Smart and Smarter=326
|The Ziff Who Came to Dinner=327
|Co-Dependent's Day=328
|The Wandering Juvie=329
|My Big Fat Geek Wedding=330
|Catch 'Em If You Can=331
|Simple Simpson=332
|The Way We Weren't=333
|Bart-Mangled Banner=334
|Fraudcast News=335
|Treehouse of Horror XV=336
|All's Fair in Oven War=337
|Sleeping with the Enemy=338
|She Used to Be My Girl=339
|Fat Man and Little Boy=340
|Midnight Rx=341
|Mommie Beerest=342
|Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass=343
|Pranksta Rap=344
|There's Something About Marrying=345
|On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister=346
|Goo Goo Gai Pan=347
|Mobile Homer=348
|The Seven-Beer Snitch=349
|Future-Drama=350
|Don't Fear the Roofer=351
|The Heartbroke Kid=352
|A Star Is Torn=353
|Thank God It's Doomsday=354
|Home Away from Homer=355
|The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star=356
|The Bonfire of the Manatees=357
|The Girl Who Slept Too Little=358
|Milhouse of Sand and Fog=359
|Treehouse of Horror XVI=360
|Marge's Son Poisoning=361
|See Homer Run=362
|The Last of the Red Hat Mamas=363
|The Italian Bob=364
|Simpsons Christmas Stories=365
|Homer's Paternity Coot=366
|We're on the Road to D'ohwhere=367
|My Fair Laddy=368
|The Seemingly Never-Ending Story=369
|Bart Has Two Mommies=370
|Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife=371
|Million-Dollar Abie=372
|Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore=373
|The Wettest Stories Ever Told=374
|Girls Just Want to Have Sums=375
|Regarding Margie=376
|The Monkey Suit=377
|Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play=378
|The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer=379
|Jazzy and the Pussycats=380
|Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em=381
|Treehouse of Horror XVII=382
|G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)=383
|Moe'N'a Lisa=384
|Ice Cream of Margie (with the Light Blue Hair)=385
|The Haw-Hawed Couple=386
|Kill Gil, Volumes I & II=387
|The Wife Aquatic=388
|Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Three Times=389
|Little Big Girl=390
|Springfield Up=391
|Yokel Chords=392
|Rome-Old and Juli-Eh=393
|Homerazzi=394
|Marge Gamer=395
|The Boys of Bummer=396
|Crook and Ladder=397
|Stop or My Dog Will Shoot!=398
|24 Minutes=399
|You Kent Always Say What You Want=400
|The Simpsons Movie=
|He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs=401
|The Homer of Seville=402
|Midnight Towboy=403
|I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings=404
|Treehouse of Horror XVIII=405
|Little Orphan Millie=406
|Husbands and Knives=407
|Funeral for a Fiend=408
|Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind=409
|E Pluribus Wiggum=410
|That '90s Show=411
|Love, Springfieldian Style=412
|The Debarted=413
|Dial "N" for Nerder=414
|Smoke on the Daughter=415
|Papa Don't Leech=416
|Apocalypse Cow=417
|Any Given Sundance=418
|Mona Leaves-a=419
|All About Lisa=420
|Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes=421
|Lost Verizon=422
|Double, Double, Boy in Trouble=423
|Treehouse of Horror XIX=424
|Dangerous Curves=425
|Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words=426
|MyPods and Boomsticks=427
|The Burns and the Bees=428
|Lisa the Drama Queen=429
|Take My Life, Please=430
|How the Test Was Won=431
|No Loan Again, Naturally=432
|Gone Maggie Gone=433
|In the Name of the Grandfather=434
|Wedding for Disaster=435
|Eeny Teeny Maya, Moe=436
|The Good, the Sad, and the Drugly=437
|Father Knows Worst=438
|Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh=439
|Four Great Women and a Manicure=440
|Coming to Homerica=441
|Homer the Whopper=442
|Bart Gets a "Z"=443
|The Great Wife Hope=444
|Treehouse of Horror XX=445
|The Devil Wears Nada=446
|Pranks and Greens=447
|Rednecks and Broomsticks=448
|Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou?=449
|Thursdays with Abie=450
|Once Upon a Time in Springfield=451
|Million Dollar Maybe=452
|Boy Meets Curl=453
|The Color Yellow=454
|Postcards from the Wedge=455
|Stealing First Base=456
|The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed=457
|American History X-cellent=458
|Chief of Hearts=459
|The Squirt and the Whale=460
|To Surveil with Love=461
|Moe Letter Blues=462
|The Bob Next Door=463
|Judge Me Tender=464
|Elementary School Musical=465
|Loan-a Lisa=466
|MoneyBart=467
|Treehouse of Horror XXI=468
|Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life=469
|The Fool Monty=470
|How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window?=471
|The Fight Before Christmas=472
|Donnie Fatso=473
|Moms I'd Like to Forget=474
|Flaming Moe=475
|Homer the Father=476
|The Blue and the Gray=477
|Angry Dad: The Movie=478
|The Scorpion's Tale=479
|A Midsummer's Nice Dreams=480
|Love Is a Many-Strangled Thing=481
|The Great Simpsina=482
|The Real Housewives of Fat Tony=483
|Homer Scissorhands=484
|500 Keys=485
|The Ned-liest Catch=486
|The Falcon and the D'ohman=487
|Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts=488
|Treehouse of Horror XXII=489
|Replaceable You=490
|The Food Wife=491
|The Book Job=492
|The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants=493
|The Ten-Per-Cent Solution=494
|Holidays of Future Passed=495
|Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson=496
|The D'oh-cial Network=497
|Moe Goes from Rags to Riches=498
|The Daughter Also Rises=499
|At Long Last Leave=500
|Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart=501
|How I Wet Your Mother=502
|Them, Robot=503
|Beware My Cheating Bart=504
|A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again=505
|The Spy Who Learned Me=506
|Ned 'n' Edna's Blend Agenda=507
|Lisa Goes Gaga=508
|Moonshine River=509
|Treehouse of Horror XXIII=510
|Adventures in Baby-Getting=511
|Gone Abie Gone=512
|Penny-Wiseguys=513
|A Tree Grows in Springfield=514
|The Day the Earth Stood Cool=515
|To Cur, with Love=516
|Homer Goes to Prep School=517
|A Test Before Trying=518
|Changing of the Guardian=519
|Love Is a Many-Splintered Thing=520
|Hardly Kirk-ing=521
|Gorgeous Grampa=522
|Black-Eyed, Please=523
|Dark Knight Court=524
|What Animated Women Want=525
|Pulpit Friction=526
|Whiskey Business=527
|The Fabulous Faker Boy=528
|The Saga of Carl=529
|Dangers on a Train=530
|Homerland=531
|Treehouse of Horror XXIV=532
|Four Regrettings and a Funeral=533
|YOLO=534
|Labor Pains=535
|The Kid Is All Right=536
|Yellow Subterfuge=537
|White Christmas Blues=538
|Steal This Episode=539
|Married to the Blob=540
|Specs and the City=541
|Diggs=542
|The Man Who Grew Too Much=543
|The Winter of His Content=544
|The War of Art=545
|You Don't Have to Live Like a Referee=546
|Luca$=547
|Days of Future Future=548
|What to Expect When Bart's Expecting=549
|Brick Like Me=550
|Pay Pal=551
|The Yellow Badge of Cowardge=552
|Clown in the Dumps=553
|The Wreck of the Relationship=554
|Super Franchise Me=555
|Treehouse of Horror XXV=556
|Opposites A-Frack=557
|Simpsorama=558
|Blazed and Confused=559
|Covercraft=560
|I Won't Be Home For Christmas=561
|The Man Who Came to Be Dinner=562
|Bart's New Friend=563
|The Musk Who Fell to Earth=564
|Walking Big & Tall=565
|My Fare Lady=566
|The Princess Guide=567
|Sky Police=568
|Waiting for Duffman=569
|Peeping Mom=570
|The Kids Are All Fight=571
|Let's Go Fly a Coot=572
|Bull-E=573
|Mathlete's Feat=574
|Every Man's Dream=575
|'Cue Detective=576
|Puffless=577
|Halloween of Horror=578
|Treehouse of Horror XXVI=579
|Friend with Benefit=580
|Lisa with an "S"=581
|Paths of Glory=582
|Barthood=583
|The Girl Code=584
|Teenage Mutant Milk-Caused Hurdles=585
|Much Apu About Something=586
|Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4=587
|Gal of Constant Sorrow=588
|Lisa the Veterinarian=589
|The Marge-ian Chronicles=590
|The Burns Cage=591
|How Lisa Got Her Marge Back=592
|Fland Canyon=593
|To Courier with Love=594
|Simprovised=595
|Orange Is the New Yellow=596
|Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus=597
|Friends and Family=598
|The Town=599
|Treehouse of Horror XXVII=600
|Trust but Clarify=601
|There Will Be Buds=602
|Havana Wild Weekend=603
|Dad Behavior=604
|The Last Traction Hero=605
|The Nightmare After Krustmas=606
|Pork and Burns=607
|The Great Phatsby=608, 609
|The Great Phatsby: Part One=608
|The Great Phatsby: Part Two=609
|Fatzcarraldo=610
|The Cad and the Hat=611
|Kamp Krustier=612
|22 for 30=613
|A Father's Watch=614
|The Caper Chase=615
|Looking for Mr. Goodbart=616
|Moho House=617
|Dogtown=618
|The Serfsons=619
|Springfield Splendor=620
|Whistler's Father=621
|Treehouse of Horror XXVIII=622
|Grampy Can Ya Hear Me=623
|The Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to Be=624
|Singin' in the Lane=625
|Mr. Lisa's Opus=626
|Gone Boy=627
|Haw-Haw Land=628
|Frink Gets Testy=629
|Homer Is Where the Art Isn't=630
|3 Scenes Plus a Tag from a Marriage=631
|Fears of a Clown=632
|No Good Read Goes Unpunished=633
|King Leer=634
|Lisa Gets the Blues=635
|Forgive and Regret=636
|Left Behind=637
|Throw Grampa from the Dane=638
|Flanders' Ladder=639
|Bart's Not Dead=640
|Heartbreak Hotel=641
|My Way or the Highway to Heaven=642
|Treehouse of Horror XXIX=643
|Baby You Can't Drive My Car=644
|From Russia Without Love=645
|Werking Mom=646
|Krusty the Clown (episode)=647
|Daddicus Finch=648
|'Tis the 30th Season=649
|Mad About the Toy=650
|The Girl on the Bus=651
|I'm Dancing as Fat as I Can=652
|The Clown Stays in the Picture=653
|101 Mitigations=654
|I Want You (She's So Heavy)=655
|E My Sports=656
|Bart vs. Itchy & Scratchy=657
|Girl's in the Band=658
|I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'oh=659
|D'oh Canada=660
|Woo-hoo Dunnit?=661
|Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion=662
|The Winter of Our Monetized Content=663
|Go Big or Go Homer=664
|The Fat Blue Line=665
|Treehouse of Horror XXX=666
|Gorillas on the Mast=667
|Marge the Lumberjill=668
|Livin La Pura Vida=669
|Thanksgiving of Horror=670
|Todd, Todd, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?=671
|Bobby, It's Cold Outside=672
|Hail to the Teeth=673
|Bart the Bad Guy=674
}}<noinclude>[[Category:Templates]]</noinclude>

The Wettest Stories Ever Told/Quotes

2019-12-01T17:12:51Z

2F13: linking, formatting

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore|Girls Just Want to Have Sums}}

{{qf|[[Captain McCallister]]}} Yarr. Sorry about the delay. The chef is having a problem with tonight's sepcial. ''[A knife-weilding chef is battling an octopus with eight knives]''. Meanwhile, I can send a busboy out to get you somethin' from a better restaurant.
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Red Lobster?
{{qf|Captain McCallister}} Not that good ''[the family moan in dissapointment]''. Until then, perhaps an old sea yarn may pass the time. Too bad I don't know any.
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} I know one, about the most inportant sea voyage in American history. The journey of "[[Mayflower]]".
{{qf|Captain McCallister}} Ah, yes. The ship that brought prostitutes to America.
{{qf|Lisa}} Not prostitutes, Protestants.
{{qf|Captain McCallister}} Now who's being naiive?

== Mayflower Madman ==
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I'm so bored, I figured out where the wallpaper pattern repeats. See, it goes: ship's wheel, Popeye tattoo, Gilligan hat, fish with boobs, and back to ship's wheel.
{{qf|Lisa}} What about this swordfish?
{{qf|Homer}} Oh! My life's work is ruined.
----
{{qf|Marge}} Do you have your shipboard entertainments?
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} I've got my toy wood lump! ''[he drops a lump of wood on the floor and starts to kick it around]'' What jolly fun!
----
{{qf|Beefeater [[Lenny]]}} Has anyone seen this knave? ''[he holds up a picture of Homer]''
{{qf|Beefeater [[Carl]]}} He's wanted for daring to question why we call this the Jacobean era when the king's name is James, not Jacob.
{{qf|Lisa}} Mother, we must protect him. Look, he's praying.
{{qf|Homer}} Oh Lord, please let the soldiers kill this family instead of me.
----
{{qf|Homer}} So, though art a widow, eh? Then the codpiece holds no terrors for thee.
----
{{qf|Homer}} What kind of booze cruise is this? Where's the hooch?
{{qf|[[Ned Flanders|Ned Flandish]]}} Heh, heh, heh, we Puritans have no place for drunkeness... or colorful clothes, or dreaming, or poetry. So, if you write a sonnet, keep it under your bonnet. ''[panicked]'' Oh no! That was a poem! ''[he pulls out a cat-o'-nine-tails and flogs himself with it]'' Forgive me, Lord! ''[he pours salt on his back]'' Then, pour a little salt in the wounds... and I'm good.
{{qf|Marge}} I see you met our devout leader, Ned Flandish.
{{qf|Homer}} Stupid Flandish.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Uh, listen, since all the other fun stuff is out of bounds, how 'bout a little Bible-thumping in the crow's nest? What do yiu say, Miss...?
{{qf|Marge}} Constance Prudence Chasity Goodfaith.
{{qf|Homer}} [[D'oh]]!
{{qf|Marge}} My friends call me "Marge".
{{qf|Homer}} Huh?
{{qf|Marge}} Marge Obedience Temperance Sexwon't.
{{qf|Homer}} D'oh!
----
{{qf|[[Moe Szyslak|Moezekiel]]}} We're engaged! I didn't kill her husband just so.... I-I mean, I-I didn't kill her husband.
{{qf|Marge}} We're not engaged. Uh, it's really more of an amiable concordance.
{{qf|Flandish}} Oh! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Such language from a woman. Oh no! i just thought of you as a woman! ''[begins flogging himself again]''.
----
{{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} Lord, we thank you for the many ways you show your love: the sun which bakes our lips to the point of bleeding and your hillarious idea to surround us with water that would kill us if we drank it.
----
{{qf|Moezekiel}} Oh my God, look at that hand-on-hand action! If I don't do somethin', soon they'll be exchanging pleasantries.
{{qf|Marge}} Yes, the weather is fair.
{{qf|Moezekiel}} Man, that guy sends my humors from sanguine to bilious. ''[he addresses the camera]'' That's how we talk, weird, huh? ''[returning to character]'' Time to think of a plan most sneaky.
----
{{qf|Moezekiel}} Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I'm throwing a little party tonight to celebrate that only half of us have died so far.
{{qf|Homer}} Beer! I thought you guys didn't drink on the Gayflower.
{{qf|Moezekiel}} Stop callin' it that.
{{qf|Homer}} What-ever.
----
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, I can't believe I was thinking about letting you touch my elbow through a cloth.
{{qf|Homer}} But, baby, a man has needs.
----
{{qf|Rev. Lovejoy}} Oh, I guess we'll never make it to the New World.
{{qf|Bart}} Oh, when we landed, I was going to denounce my sister as a witch.
{{qf|Lisa}} I keep telling you, the ability to add two-digit numbers is not witchcraft!
{{qf|Bart}} Thirty-one plus fourty-three.
{{qf|Lisa}} Seventy-four.
{{qf|Pilgrims}} ''[pointing at Lisa]'' Witch! Witch! Witch!
----
{{qf|Flandish}} I just thought of a name for where we're going. New England!
{{qf|[[Willie]]}} Oh, that's real creative. Whaddaya call your foot? "New hand"?
{{qf|Flandish}} At least I'm pitching.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Land ho!
{{qf|Marge}} What did you call me?
----
{{qf|Flandish}} Great [[Chief Wiggum|Chief Wig-gum]], we could never have survived our first year in the new World without you. I almost regret what we Europeans are about to do to ya.
{{qf|Chief Wig-gum}} What are you gonna do?
{{qf|Flandish}} Give you the biggest slice of pumpkin pie! ''[under his breath]'' Also, we're gonna take your land and wipe you out. ''[normal talking voice]'' Who wants whipped topping?

== Stupidity on the Bounty ==
{{qf|Marge}} Who else has a story?
{{qf|Homer}} I do!
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, you can tell the third story. Bart will tell the second, which is usually the weakest.
{{qf|Bart}} Hey!
{{qf|Marge}} I'm just trying to take the pressure off of you.
{{qf|Bart}} Well, I read this boring comic book about a ship called the "[[Bounty]]".
{{qf|Marge}} Ooh, like the paper towels. Go on...
----
{{qf|[[Seymour Skinner|Bligh]]}} First of all, in an effort to save water, you will no longer be given any water. And because of a drawing of myself having a romantic congress with a merman... ''[the crew laughs]''... I am dumping all your mail out to sea. And I can assure you, there were cookies in there. Good cookies. The kind only a loving mother or Milhouse's father could make.
{{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} My father's alive?
{{qf|Bligh}} No, he died while baking. It's all in the letter. ''[he throws Milhouse's letter out the window]''.
----
{{qf|Bosun Willie}} I warn ye, captain, push this crew too far, and there'll be mutiny.
{{qf|Bligh}} Mutiny? On the "Bounty"? Heh, heh, heh, heh. What have you been smoking.
{{qf|Bosun Willie}} Opium.
{{qf|Bligh}} Besides that.
----
{{qf|King Homer}} Welcome to our tropical paradise. Enjoy our lugas, our lagoons, and our ladies. And remember, what happens in Tahiti stays in Tahiti.
{{qf|Queen Marge}} Because we have no way of communicating with the outside world, tell me, has Robert Fulton invented the steam boat yet?
{{qf|[[Jimbo]]}} Any day now.
{{qf|Queen Marge}} Ooooh.
----
{{qf|[[Bart Simpson|Fletcher Christian]]}} Captain, this is a mutiny.
{{qf|Bligh}} ''[uncomfortable laugh]'' Well, let's not be hasty, there, uh, what if I introduce a suggestion box?
{{qf|[[Dolph]]}} We have a suggestion box. You made it from the head of the last guy who had a suggestion.
----
{{qf|Christian}} Well, I know you had your doubts, men, but there they are... the most beautiful women in the world.
{{qf|[[Kearney]]}} Those are penguins.
{{qf|Christian}} Well, look at it this way. We're going to discover the North Pole.
{{qf|Jimbo}} South Pole.
{{qf|Christian}} Oh boy, do I suck.
{{qf|Jimbo}} Yeah.

== The Neptune Upending ==
{{qf|[[Disco Stu]]}} The ship's doctor has reported an outbreak of... disco fever! The only cure is to do a little dance, make a little love... get down tonight.
{{qf|Lenny}} ''[worried;y taking notes]'' Wait, what was the second one?
----
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[singing to the tune of "The Morning After"]'' I think we're headed for disaster, And most of you will not be saved. Unless the captain is attentive, we'll all be crushed by a huge wave.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Woo-Hoo! It's almost New Year's! Ten... nine... eight-
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, the ship's upside down and hundreds of people are dead.
{{qf|Homer}} Three... two... one... Happy New Year! ''[he blows a noisemaker]'' My resolution is to be more fun.
----
{{qf|[[Selma]]}} I've spent the entire cruise reading these maintenance brochures because as a lonely single woman, I've had nothing better to do.
{{qf|Surviving men}} Awww.
{{qf|Selma}} "Awwws" are cheap, I'm looking for some action.
----
{{qf|Lenny}} Whatever you do, don't look down! I mean up! I can't do this anymore, it's too confusing! Ahhhh! ''[he lets go of the ladder and plummets to his death]''.
{{qf|Carl}} Not that confusing.
----
{{qf|[[Comic Book Guy]]}} I've tied it off. You're all going to make it. ''[he clutches his chest]'' Tell the world... that I saved you all. ''[he dies]''.
{{qf|Homer}} Don't tell me what to do.
----
{{qf|Christian}} Do you guys know the way to Tahiti?
{{qf|Dolph}} Way to go, genius. You sailed into someone else's tale of the sea.
{{qf|Christian}} At least I'm not gay for skeleton Kearney.
{{qf|Jimbo}} Our ribs got tangled 75 years ago! That's not gay!
{{qf|Christian}} Right, you keep believing that.

{{Season 17|Q}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Wettest Stories Ever Told/Quotes}}

Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore/Quotes

2019-12-01T17:04:43Z

2F13: major formatting, linking

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Million-Dollar Abie|The Wettest Stories Ever Told}}

:'''[[Homer]]:''' ''[he steps off the plane and sees where he is]'' ''This'' isn't India! Where's the University of Notre Dame and the Indy 500 and Wrigley Field and Dodger Dogs?!
:'''Indian Woman:''' You ignorant American! You have confused India with Indiana, Indiana with Illinois, and the Cubs with the Dodgers!
:'''Homer:''' I took a job on the other side of the world?! ''[groans as the camera pulls to a satellite's view of India]'' I hate this subcontinent!

----

:'''[[Richard Dean Anderson]]:''' ''[after being kidnapped]'' You won't get away with this! People will know I'm missing! There's a liquor store I go to every morning!

----

:'''[[Selma]]:''' ''[forcing Richard Dean Anderson to write an autograph on her breasts]'' You can write "help me" all you want! No one will ever see it! ''[sinister laugh]''

----

:'''[[Lenny]]:''' ''[sitting in the back row of the plant's auditorium]'' I wouldn't sit too close if I were you. It's bad for your eyes. ''[camera pulls out, revealing a vat of nuclear waste behind Lenny, which glows through his skeleton]''

----

:'''Homer:''' ''[sweetly]'' Oh, Marge. I've never been less angry to receive a book.
:'''Marge:''' ''[touched]'' Aw.

----

:'''Homer:''' All right, book, I didn't read you and you didn't read me...

----

:'''Homer:''' ''[contemplating a mosaic of Hindu gods]'' Let's see, you got the Elephant Man, Johnny Six Arms, Papa Smurf... You know, maybe I am one of these guys. If only I had some sort of proof. ''[Opens soda bottle, then looks at cap and gasps]'' I won a free soda! I AM A GOD!

----

:'''Richard Dean Anderson:''' ''[finding Selma's XXXL bra during an escape]'' A-bra, Kada-bra!

----

:'''Lenny:''' '']arriving in India]'' We're worried about Homer. He sent us this weird card.
:''[He shows the card. On the cover, it says "Come celebrate my promotion..." On the next page, it says "...TO GOD!" The camera then shows a hand-written note saying "My cell phone number will be the same."]''
:'''Guard:''' ''(points to two doors)'' One of these doors leads to Homer Simpson. The other leads to a Bengal tiger. Choose wisely.
:''[Lenny opens one door, which has a tiger; he closes the door. Carl opens the other door, which has a tiger; he closes the door.]''
:'''[[Carl]]:''' Both these doors have tigers!
:'''Guard:''' One of these tigers is named "Homer Simpson".

----

:'''Lenny:''' Ya know Moe, that sign is powered by non-American workers.
:'''[[Moe]]:''' So? The beer is German and the TV is Japanese.
:'''Carl:''' You got anything here made in America?
:'''Moe:'''´(angrily gets out shotgun)'' This! ''[cocks the gun, but the back explodes in his face]'' Oh God! Misfire!

----

:'''Selma:''' MacGyver's back and not just at 2:00 am on the USA Network!

----

:'''[[Richard Dean Anderson]]:''' That show was just a paycheck to me, nothing more.
{{qf|[[Patty]]}} Richard Dean Anderson just off the wrong two Richard Dean Anderson fans!
----

:'''[[Mr. Burns]]:''' Before we begin the movie, I would like to hold a moment of silence to remember the workers who gave their lives to...
:'''Homer:''' Movie! Movie! Movie!

----

:'''Richard Dean Anderson:''' Did somebody mention my names?

----

:'''Richard Dean Anderson:''' I want you to put through another escape. But this time, don't make it so easy!
:'''Patty:''' Okay. ''[hits Richard Dean Anderson's head with a hammer]'' Is that too much?
:'''Selma:''' Not for MacGyver! ''[hits him with the hammer]''

----

:'''[[Comic Book Guy]]:''' Richard Dean Anderson, of the four "Star" franchises: Wars, Trek, Gate, and Search, "Gate" is ''easily'' in my top three!
:'''Richard Dean Anderson:''' I get that a lot.
:'''Comic Book Guy:''' What in the name of Steve Ditko?!

----

:'''Comic Book Guy:''' ''(after Richard is kidnapped)'' He's gone!
:'''[[Doug (nerd)|Doug]]:''' There must be a Stargate in this room!
:'''[[Benjamin (nerd)|Benjamin]]:''' Let us find it!
:'''Comic Book Guy:''' Wait! I have some even more exciting news! I have heard that there is a girl in this room!
:'''[[Squeaky-voiced teen]]:''' Let us find her!
:''[The nerds close in on Willie.]''
:'''[[Willie]]:''' This isn't a dress! It's a kilt! And I'm not a girl!
:'''Squeaky Voiced Teen:''' You're the closest we'll ever get!

----

:'''Richard Dean Anderson:''' ''(dressed as MacGyver)'' Hey, ladies! Guess who made MacGyver burgers? MacGyver!
:'''Selma:''' But we didn't have any ground beef.
:'''Richard Dean Anderson:''' True. But you ''did'' have Slim Jims, a cheese grater, and rubber bands to hold it all together!

----

:'''[[Bart]]:''' So, Mr. Burns, you're saying my dad has gone insane, thinks he's a god, and has sealed himself in the plant, cutting off all touch with the outside world?
:'''[[Smithers]]:''' Sir, I told you Simpson would be a bad choice to run the plant.
:'''Mr. Burns:''' You know, Smithers, "I told you so" has a brother. His name is, "Shut the hell up"!

----

:'''Marge:''' You are not a god!
:'''Homer:''' I ''am'' a god!
:'''Lisa:''' Then when's mom's birthday?
:'''Homer:''' Uh, Janu...Febu...Mar...
:'''Marge:''' It's May!
:'''Homer:''' Right. May fir...sec...thir...

----

:'''Richard Dean Anderson:''' I've come up with another escape. I want you to tie me up and lock me in the trunk of your car, under the pier at low tide. All I need are these everyday objects — a toothpick, some liquor, a gun with no bullets, bullets, and three of my ''MacGyver'' writers.
:'''Selma:''' Okay. Maybe we can do it during lunch.
:'''Richard Dean Anderson:''' ''(childishly)'' Now!

----

:'''Richard Dean Anderson:''' ''(as he's being kidnapped)'' Watch the face! I need that for acting!

----

:'''Homer:''' ''(reading the book)'' "Fried eggs are as important to business as bacon."
:'''Worker 1:''' ''(subtitled from Hindi)'' What's he talking about?
:'''Female Worker:''' ''(subtitled from Hindi)'' Fried eggs? I have a degree in physics from M.I.T.
:'''Worker 2:''' ''(subtitled from Hindi)'' Maybe if we cheer, he'll let us go back to work!

----

:''[Burns, Smithers, and the Simpsons arrive at the Indian power plant, with the workers chanting 'mylar balloons']''
:'''Marge:''' Should we take our stuff or are we coming back on the same boat?
:'''Burns:''' Same boat, but take it anyway. I'm renting the boat to a Dixieland booze cruise.
:''[They disembark as an Indian Dixie Land band gets on the boat.]''

----

:'''Burns:''' The man's a genius! We don't need to be here to help him.
:'''Homer:''' You mean you're giving me absolute power!?
:'''Smithers:''' Sir, doesn't that corrupt?
:'''Burns:''' Absolutely...not!

----

:'''Richard Dean Anderson:''' ''MacGyver'', AWAY!

----

:'''Homer:''' Well, I'm just glad I'm not a god anymore. Let's go home. How's [[Chief Wiggum]]?
:'''Marge:''' He was gravely wounded in a bank shooting.
:'''Homer:''' Yeah, he's funny.

----

:'''Homer:''' I was playing Carnac with my bodyguard...
:''[Homer removes the turban from his Sikh bodyguard, and places it on his own head. He then places an envelope to his head]''
:'''Homer:''' ''(in Johnny Carson voice)'' Hin...du
:''[Homer rips open the envelope, blows into it, removes the card inside and reads...]''
:'''Homer:''' ''(in Johnny Carson voice)'' The moisture that collects on my Hin!

{{Season 17|Q}}

Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife/Quotes

2019-12-01T17:00:01Z

2F13: fixing EpisodePrevNextQuo

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Bart Has Two Mommies|Million-Dollar Abie}}

{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I am so stoked about Lenny's party. He said he was gonna make a surprise announcement!
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Maybe he's getting married?
{{qf|Homer}} Why the hell would he want to do that... blessed sacrament that has made my life so rich? I like your hat, sweetie.
{{qf|Marge}} I'm not wearing a hat.
{{qf|Homer}} I mean the one at the house.
----
{{qf|[[Brandine]]}} Another party and we cain't go.
{{qf|[[Cletus]]}} Yeah. Just 'cause we's afraid of usin' the uppity box. ''[points at the elevator]''
----
{{qf|[[Carl]]}} Ain't no party like a Lenny party, 'cause a Lenny party don't stop! ''[checks his watch]'' Eh, I gotta work tomorrow. I-I'd better go.
----
{{qf|Homer}} How did Lenny get to be "[[Newsfake]]" magazine's man of the year?
{{qf|Marge}} That's just a souvenir from am amusement park.
{{qf|Homer}} What?! Next you'll be telling me he didn't meet [[Woody Woodpecker]]. ''[points to a photo of Lenny shaking Woody's hand]''
{{qf|[[Lenny]]}} I dated the woman in that suit for three months. Then she left me for the guy that cleans the vomit off the roller coasters.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Lenny, bring me a beer and your deepest chamber pot. Chop-chop!
----
{{qf|Homer}} Later, if I have enough energy, we can walk up to the TV, and I'll show you how thin it is.
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} ''[looking out the window]'' Wow, there's a rainbow outside.
{{qf|Homer}} ''[pointing to the TV]'' Oh yeah, well, right there's a commercial with a dancing cold sore.
----
{{qf|Lenny}} Beat it! This is my alone time.
{{qf|Homer}} Can you at least take a picture of me with the TV?
{{qf|Lenny}} I ain't fallin' for that again. ''[points to several framed pictures of Homer posing with the TV on the wall]''
{{qf|Homer}} Oh yeah, good times.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Yello?
{{qf|Smooth-voiced man}} Congratulations, Mr. Simpson, you've won!
{{qf|Homer}} The big-screen TV?
{{qf|Smooth-voiced man}} No. No one wins that. You win third prize. A tour of the Fox Network in [[Los Angeles]], [[California]].
{{qf|Homer}} All expenses paid?
{{qf|Smooth-voiced man}} Uh, look, I gotta go.
----
{{qf|Tour guide}} Ooh, why look, there's {{Ch|Dan Castellaneta}} from ''[[The Tracey Ullman Show]]''.
{{qf|Homer}} Hey, funny man, say something funny!
{{qf|Dan Castellaneta}} Please, don't lean out the tram, sir, you might get hurt.
{{qf|Homer}} Ooh, "don't lean out the tram-" Aaaaagh! ''[Homer is knocked out of the tram by a statue of [[Mischa Barton]]]''
----
{{qf|Marge}} What are you doing, Homer?
{{qf|Homer}} I'm signing us up for a reality show where we trade you to another family.
{{qf|Marge}} Well, that might be interesting... or it could damage many, many lives.
----
:''[Homer and Bart moon the cameraman.]''
{{qf|Producer}} Uhh. We'd better pixelate those.
{{qf|{{ap|Doug|camera man}}}} ''[panicky]'' There aren't enough pixels in the world!
{{qf|Producer}} Yeah, urm, just cover it with {{Ch|Ryan Seacrest}}'s head.
----
{{qf|Producer}} Your two families will exchange wives for a month. Then a viewer vote will decide who they think is the least reprehensible.
{{qf|Lisa}} I don't understand, dad. Our family has so many flaws. Why must we share them with the world?
{{qf|Homer}} Because we'll be on TV, and earn enough money to buy a TV. TV!
{{qf|Lisa}} But, dad...
{{qf|Homer}} Yes, TV-sa?
{{qf|Lisa}} Eh, forget it.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Listen up, Stonehenge. I made a drawing of the places on Marge you can't touch. Especially the hair.
{{qf|[[Charles Heathbar]]}} Oh, you needn't worry. I'm a bit of an elbow man, myself, actually. Heh, heh, heh. A bit different, a bit weird. Not sexual.
{{qf|Homer}} You take forever to say nothing.
----
{{qf|[[Verity Heathbar]]}} Charles hasn't satisfied me in years.
{{qf|Homer}} Yeah, that's how I feel about Notre Dame football.
----
{{qf|Marge}} So, Charles, what do you do for a living?
{{qf|Charles}} Well, I'm an office manager, and no, I didn't even get a promotion today, again. So go on, go ahead. Disembowel me with your pointy, pointy words.
----
{{qf|Verity}} Young man, I'm going to turn that cartoon into homework.
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Help me, cameraman! I let you some a cigarette in my bedroom!
{{qf|Doug}} ''[brusque]'' That was a joint. And I have a name. It's Doug.
----
{{qf|Charles}} One more kind word from her, and I am completely smitten.
{{qf|Marge}} Ooh, your toaster takes bagels! How ritzy!
{{qf|Charles}} And there we have it.
----
{{qf|Homer}} What's that delicious smell?
{{qf|Verity}} I'm burning all of your underwear.
----
{{qf|Marge}} I'm sorry, but I love Homer.
{{qf|Charles}} Uhhh. Of course, you do. He's a real man... not like me, a miserable toad under the thumb of the biggest bitch this side of the Westminster Kennel Club.
{{qf|Marge}} Charles, please... your son might see this.
{{qf|Charles}} He's not my real son! His real father is either the pool man or my wife's lover. Oh, ho. They're the main two candidates I've narrowed it down to. Pretty sure.
{{qf|Marge}} Oh, there, there. God, I miss Homer.
{{qf|Charles}} I miss him too. What is it about him that is so damned irresistible?
{{qf|Marge}} Well, he's loved me ever since the first moment he saw me, and he's never stopped. And whatever it takes to make me happy, he'll do it, even if it kills him.
:''[Doug turns to the director.]''
{{qf|Doug}} Sorry, I ran out of tape just before that beautiful speech of hers. But I got a great shot of him saying his son's a bastard.
----
{{qf|Marge}} Lisa! What are you doing in the nutmeg state?
{{qf|Lisa}} Fox flew me out here to bring you back. They flew me on Frito-Lay's Air Force Yum! And I'm required to say "Come to the cool ranch and rope in the flavor. Yee-haw."
----
{{qf|Marge}} Let's go home, sweetie. I'm sure there's a hamper full of Homer waiting for me.
{{qf|Charles}} And I'm coming with you... to tell my sea hag of a wife, "You're fired!" Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. I was doing, uh, {{Ch|Donald Trump}}? Billionaire? If you knew who he was, you'd be dying.
{{qf|Lisa}} I know who Donald Trump is.
{{qf|Marge}} Me too.
{{qf|Charles}} I don't think you do. Spot on.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Oh, Marge, thank god you're back! She made me spend time with the kids! And not just TV time. Talking time!
{{qf|Charles}} Where is she? Where's the soul-sucking she-beast that I call "Sweetums"?
{{qf|Homer}} [[Maggie]]? She's in her crib.
----
{{qf|Verity}} Charles, I'm leaving you.
{{qf|[[Patty]]}} Ya snooze, ya lose.
{{qf|Charles}} You're leaving me for him?!
{{qf|Homer}} So it would appear. However, Cousin Itt there, was born a woman.
{{qf|Patty}} What brought us together is how much we hate you.
{{qf|Homer}} Yeah, well, I'm gonna vote no on 38 so you can't adopt. ''[Patty twists his arm]'' Ah! Ow! Kidding! Kidding! I don't vote! The polling place is up a hill, and I never make it!

{{Season 17|Q}}

Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife/Quotes

2019-12-01T16:40:44Z

2F13: linking, formatting

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Bart Has Two Mommies|Million-Dollar Abie|Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife}}

{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I am so stoked about Lenny's party. He said he was gonna make a surprise announcement!
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Maybe he's getting married?
{{qf|Homer}} Why the hell would he want to do that... blessed sacrament that has made my life so rich? I like your hat, sweetie.
{{qf|Marge}} I'm not wearing a hat.
{{qf|Homer}} I mean the one at the house.
----
{{qf|[[Brandine]]}} Another party and we cain't go.
{{qf|[[Cletus]]}} Yeah. Just 'cause we's afraid of usin' the uppity box. ''[points at the elevator]''
----
{{qf|[[Carl]]}} Ain't no party like a Lenny party, 'cause a Lenny party don't stop! ''[checks his watch]'' Eh, I gotta work tomorrow. I-I'd better go.
----
{{qf|Homer}} How did Lenny get to be "[[Newsfake]]" magazine's man of the year?
{{qf|Marge}} That's just a souvenir from am amusement park.
{{qf|Homer}} What?! Next you'll be telling me he didn't meet [[Woody Woodpecker]]. ''[points to a photo of Lenny shaking Woody's hand]''
{{qf|[[Lenny]]}} I dated the woman in that suit for three months. Then she left me for the guy that cleans the vomit off the roller coasters.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Lenny, bring me a beer and your deepest chamber pot. Chop-chop!
----
{{qf|Homer}} Later, if I have enough energy, we can walk up to the TV, and I'll show you how thin it is.
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} ''[looking out the window]'' Wow, there's a rainbow outside.
{{qf|Homer}} ''[pointing to the TV]'' Oh yeah, well, right there's a commercial with a dancing cold sore.
----
{{qf|Lenny}} Beat it! This is my alone time.
{{qf|Homer}} Can you at least take a picture of me with the TV?
{{qf|Lenny}} I ain't fallin' for that again. ''[points to several framed pictures of Homer posing with the TV on the wall]''
{{qf|Homer}} Oh yeah, good times.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Yello?
{{qf|Smooth-voiced man}} Congratulations, Mr. Simpson, you've won!
{{qf|Homer}} The big-screen TV?
{{qf|Smooth-voiced man}} No. No one wins that. You win third prize. A tour of the Fox Network in [[Los Angeles]], [[California]].
{{qf|Homer}} All expenses paid?
{{qf|Smooth-voiced man}} Uh, look, I gotta go.
----
{{qf|Tour guide}} Ooh, why look, there's {{Ch|Dan Castellaneta}} from ''[[The Tracey Ullman Show]]''.
{{qf|Homer}} Hey, funny man, say something funny!
{{qf|Dan Castellaneta}} Please, don't lean out the tram, sir, you might get hurt.
{{qf|Homer}} Ooh, "don't lean out the tram-" Aaaaagh! ''[Homer is knocked out of the tram by a statue of [[Mischa Barton]]]''
----
{{qf|Marge}} What are you doing, Homer?
{{qf|Homer}} I'm signing us up for a reality show where we trade you to another family.
{{qf|Marge}} Well, that might be interesting... or it could damage many, many lives.
----
:''[Homer and Bart moon the cameraman.]''
{{qf|Producer}} Uhh. We'd better pixelate those.
{{qf|{{ap|Doug|camera man}}}} ''[panicky]'' There aren't enough pixels in the world!
{{qf|Producer}} Yeah, urm, just cover it with {{Ch|Ryan Seacrest}}'s head.
----
{{qf|Producer}} Your two families will exchange wives for a month. Then a viewer vote will decide who they think is the least reprehensible.
{{qf|Lisa}} I don't understand, dad. Our family has so many flaws. Why must we share them with the world?
{{qf|Homer}} Because we'll be on TV, and earn enough money to buy a TV. TV!
{{qf|Lisa}} But, dad...
{{qf|Homer}} Yes, TV-sa?
{{qf|Lisa}} Eh, forget it.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Listen up, Stonehenge. I made a drawing of the places on Marge you can't touch. Especially the hair.
{{qf|[[Charles Heathbar]]}} Oh, you needn't worry. I'm a bit of an elbow man, myself, actually. Heh, heh, heh. A bit different, a bit weird. Not sexual.
{{qf|Homer}} You take forever to say nothing.
----
{{qf|[[Verity Heathbar]]}} Charles hasn't satisfied me in years.
{{qf|Homer}} Yeah, that's how I feel about Notre Dame football.
----
{{qf|Marge}} So, Charles, what do you do for a living?
{{qf|Charles}} Well, I'm an office manager, and no, I didn't even get a promotion today, again. So go on, go ahead. Disembowel me with your pointy, pointy words.
----
{{qf|Verity}} Young man, I'm going to turn that cartoon into homework.
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Help me, cameraman! I let you some a cigarette in my bedroom!
{{qf|Doug}} ''[brusque]'' That was a joint. And I have a name. It's Doug.
----
{{qf|Charles}} One more kind word from her, and I am completely smitten.
{{qf|Marge}} Ooh, your toaster takes bagels! How ritzy!
{{qf|Charles}} And there we have it.
----
{{qf|Homer}} What's that delicious smell?
{{qf|Verity}} I'm burning all of your underwear.
----
{{qf|Marge}} I'm sorry, but I love Homer.
{{qf|Charles}} Uhhh. Of course, you do. He's a real man... not like me, a miserable toad under the thumb of the biggest bitch this side of the Westminster Kennel Club.
{{qf|Marge}} Charles, please... your son might see this.
{{qf|Charles}} He's not my real son! His real father is either the pool man or my wife's lover. Oh, ho. They're the main two candidates I've narrowed it down to. Pretty sure.
{{qf|Marge}} Oh, there, there. God, I miss Homer.
{{qf|Charles}} I miss him too. What is it about him that is so damned irresistible?
{{qf|Marge}} Well, he's loved me ever since the first moment he saw me, and he's never stopped. And whatever it takes to make me happy, he'll do it, even if it kills him.
:''[Doug turns to the director.]''
{{qf|Doug}} Sorry, I ran out of tape just before that beautiful speech of hers. But I got a great shot of him saying his son's a bastard.
----
{{qf|Marge}} Lisa! What are you doing in the nutmeg state?
{{qf|Lisa}} Fox flew me out here to bring you back. They flew me on Frito-Lay's Air Force Yum! And I'm required to say "Come to the cool ranch and rope in the flavor. Yee-haw."
----
{{qf|Marge}} Let's go home, sweetie. I'm sure there's a hamper full of Homer waiting for me.
{{qf|Charles}} And I'm coming with you... to tell my sea hag of a wife, "You're fired!" Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. I was doing, uh, {{Ch|Donald Trump}}? Billionaire? If you knew who he was, you'd be dying.
{{qf|Lisa}} I know who Donald Trump is.
{{qf|Marge}} Me too.
{{qf|Charles}} I don't think you do. Spot on.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Oh, Marge, thank god you're back! She made me spend time with the kids! And not just TV time. Talking time!
{{qf|Charles}} Where is she? Where's the soul-sucking she-beast that I call "Sweetums"?
{{qf|Homer}} [[Maggie]]? She's in her crib.
----
{{qf|Verity}} Charles, I'm leaving you.
{{qf|[[Patty]]}} Ya snooze, ya lose.
{{qf|Charles}} You're leaving me for him?!
{{qf|Homer}} So it would appear. However, Cousin Itt there, was born a woman.
{{qf|Patty}} What brought us together is how much we hate you.
{{qf|Homer}} Yeah, well, I'm gonna vote no on 38 so you can't adopt. ''[Patty twists his arm]'' Ah! Ow! Kidding! Kidding! I don't vote! The polling place is up a hill, and I never make it!

{{Season 17|Q}}

Bart Has Two Mommies/Quotes

2019-11-30T10:51:49Z

2F13: linking, formatting

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Seemingly Never-Ending Story|Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife}}

{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Why does [[God]] need our money?
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} He has to finish paying off the planets. Did you see that ring He gave Saturn?
----
{{qf|[[Rod]]}} Hurry, let's climb down.
{{qf|Bart}} ''[as he and Rod climb down the church steeple]'' Don't let our hands touch it's gay.
{{qf|Rod}} What does 'gay' mean?
{{qf|Bart}} Um, It means... you used to be afraid... but you're not anymore.
{{qf|Rod}} ''[shouting down at Flanders]'' I'm gay, Daddy! I'm gay! Mrs. Simpson made me gay!
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} ''[laughs nervously]'' I believe he's saying... he's okay.
----
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} What are you talking about? Monkeys don't have feelings. If they did, my experiments on them could be called cruel.
----
{{qf|Homer}} ''[sarcastic tone]'' Oh, you're so right! I guess I should be more concerned with Bart's safety than covering my own butt! And maybe I'm talking like this because I can't stop! Help me, [[Lisa]], I have serious mental problems!
----
{{qf|[[Ned]]}} ''[gasp]'' A sliver from a band-aid wrapper! Call me Ned Zeppelin, but is one of my boys abraised and contused?!
{{qf|[[Todd]]}} I cut myself on the knife playing Christian Clue.
{{qf|Rod}} The secular humanist in the school house with misinformation!
----
{{qf|Rod}} ''[praying]'' And please thank Mrs. Simpson for giving as much fun as we had when Mommy was here."
{{qf|Marge}} Aw.
{{qf|Todd}} ''[praying]'' And please ask Mommy to come to Daddy in a dream so he knows how to cut our sandwiches.
{{qf|Marge}} Aw.
{{qf|Rod}} ''[praying]'' And please tell Mrs. Simpson it's rude to eavesdrop on our prayers.
{{qf|Marge}} ''[surprised]'' Oh.
{{qf|Rod}} ''[praying]'' But we forgive her.
{{qf|Marge}} Ooooo.

{{Season 17|Q}}

The Seemingly Never-Ending Story/Quotes

2019-11-30T10:25:22Z

2F13: formatting, linking

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|My Fair Laddy|Bart Has Two Mommies}}

{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Our god made their god.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Save me, Tsisnajini!
----
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Mad beast!
{{qf|[[Burns]]}} Liberal midget!
----
{{qf|[[Rich Texan]]}} ''[after the Rich Texan douses Mr. Burns' head with crude oil]'' Back in Houston, we call that a "Fort Worth Shampoo"!
----
{{qf|Rich Texan}} ''[emerging from the shadows holding a revolver]'' I'll take the gold iffin' ya please!
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} How can you take it? We haven't even found it.
{{qf|Rich Texan}} It's right behind the rock on the left. No, your left. "Texas" Left, which is your down.
:''[Marge holds up the bag.]''
{{qf|Rich Texan}} I'll take the gold iffin' ya please!
{{qf|Burns}} ''[emerging from behind a thin stalactite holding a derringer]'' Not so fast, Shady Bird Johnson! I'll take that gold!
{{qf|[[Moe]]}} ''[emerging from the shadows holding a baseball bat]'' Yeah, y'all take the gold and then you'll give it to me if ya know what's good for ya.
:''[Burns and the Rich Texan aim their guns at Moe.]''
{{qf|Moe}} ''[nervous]'' You guys got guns? ''[retreats to the shadows]'' Uh, yeah, me too. ''[makes the sound of cocking a shotgun]'' Huh? Huh?
{{qf|[[Snake]]}} Coolest entrance gets the gold! ''[goes down a rope like James Bond]'' I hope it's okay that I brought my son. Today's my day with him. ''[points to Bart]'' Look, Jeremy. There's a boy you can play with.
{{qf|[[Jeremy Jailbird|Jeremy]]}} ''[to Bart]'' You like Xbox?
----
{{qf|Burns}} I had to start up from the bottom to get my fortune back. And to get to the bottom, I had to work my way up from Moe's.
----
{{qf|Rich Texan}} YEE-HAW! I'm gonna win me a nuclear plant!
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Dream on, bitch.
----
{{qf|[[Carl]]}} ''[to Burns]'' Hey barboy, write a play where I meet Henry Ford and Captain Kirk!
----
{{qf|Rich Texan}} YEE-HAW! Moe can't catch a break! 1-2-3-4! Can't catch a break! 1-2-3-4! Can't catch a break!
----
{{qf|Rich Texan}} Howdy! What's your business, boy?!
{{qf|Burns}} Nuclear power. I make money using my brain, not sticking a pole in the ground and praying for goo.
----
{{qf|Rich Texan}} ''[after Burns gives him the gold]'' Okay. I'll give you back all your worldly possessions, exceptin' this here nu-clear plant, until you give me a picture of yourself with a smilin' child!
{{qf|Burns}} What the hell could that possibly mean to you?
{{qf|Rich Texan}} I'm obsessive compulsive! ''[firing his pistols]'' Ye-haw! ''[tapping his foot]'' 1-2-3-4! ''[firing his pistols]''Ye-haw! ''[tapping his foot]'' 1-2-3-4! ''[firing his pistols]'' Ye-haw! ''[tapping his foot]'' 1-2-3-4! ''[firing his pistols]'' Ye-haw! :''[tapping his foot]'' 1-2-3-4!
----
{{qf|Moe}} ''[retelling the story of his tragic romance with Edna]'' I was the happiest guy in the world, but fate likes to play a little game called 'Up Yours, Moe.'
----
{{qf|Moe}} Fate gave me an awful dilemma — should I rob the guy or rob him ''and'' kill him?
----
{{qf|Moe}} ''[telling his story]'' I knew that in order to keep Edna, I'd have to get rid of the human garbage otherwise known as "my friends".
:''[Throws out Barney, then [[Lenny]] and Carl, then Barney again, then Homer, then gets ready to throw out Barney again.]''
{{qf|Moe}} Barney, how do you keep getting back in here?
{{qf|[[Barney]]}} I'm a drunk. I don't know nothin' 'bout how I do anything.
:''[Moe throws Barney out again and then Barney is back in the bar, behind Moe.]''
----
{{qf|Moe}} ''[to Homer, Barney, Lenny and Carl]'' Listen Boozebags! I got a good thing going here. If you mess it up I will out the one of you who is gay!
:''[The drunks then run off in a flamboyant fashion.]''
{{qf|Moe}} ''[to Edna]'' Now, where were we? ''[they resume kissing]''
----
{{qf|Snake}} I've been robbed! I'll take my revenge on society... by which I mean convenience stores! And who would suspect me, Professor Jailbird!
----
{{qf|Moe}} I didn't want the gold, so I just kept playing our song on the jukebox one...
{{qf|Burns}} ''[reading letter]'' ...one gold coin at a time. ''[looks at jukebox]'' Oh, you poor man. You're about to get poorer.
----
{{qf|Burns}} ''[voice over]'' I steamed open the letter using Moe's cappuccino machine.
{{qf|Moe}} ''[in letter]'' If you are reading this, I am dead and I shall tell you the story about my treasure.
{{qf|Burns}} ''[reading letter]'' Treasure?!
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[in flashback]'' Treasure?!
{{qf|Homer}} Moe has a cappuccino machine?!
----
{{qf|Professor Snake Jailbird}} So, I'm excavating this Mayan pyramid and I came across these coins and I was all like "Could you be any more pre-Columbian?"
----
{{qf|Burns}} ''[voiceover]'' At 5.15 an hour, I knew it would take an eternity to get my fortune back. And Fica wasn't helping! But for once, things went ''my'' way!
----
{{qf|[[Skinner]]}} ''[after hearing Bart's story/excuse]'' Bart, that story is the biggest load of cra...bappel?!? Making out with Moe?!? ''[he sees Moe and Edna making out outside his office window]''
----
{{qf|Keypad to Safe Room}} Enter password.
{{qf|Burns}} Dammit I forget.
{{qf|Keypad}} Forgot password? Enter place of birth.
{{qf|Burns}} Pangaea.
{{qf|Keypad}} Correct. Your password has been emailed to you.
{{qf|Burns}} D'oh.
----
{{qf|[[Martin]]}} ''[attached to a kite being flown by Nelson]'' Lab partners don't treat lab partners like this!
{{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Shut up and attract lightning!
----
{{qf|Homer}} Wait a minute. You're telling Moe's story in Burns' story in your story?
{{qf|Lisa}} Yes, dad. It's like a play inside of a play, like Hamlet.
:''[Homer looks at her puzzled.]''
{{qf|Lisa}} Fine, it's like you watching a home movie of you watching TV.
{{qf|Homer}} ''[understanding]'' Oh yeah.
----
{{qf|Homer}} ''[after falling down the hole in the cave]'' I'm stuck, and I have to pee! ''[a few seconds later]'' Now I'm just stuck.

{{Season 17|Q}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Seemingly Never-Ending Story/Quotes, The}}

The Seemingly Never-Ending Story/Appearances

2019-11-30T10:20:58Z

2F13: /* Characters */ changing order

{{TabA}}
{{EpisodePrevNextApp|My Fair Laddy|Bart Has Two Mommies}}

== Characters ==
<gallery>
File:Aristotle Amadopolis.png|[[Aristotle Amadopolis]]
File:Bighorn Sheep.png|[[Bighorn Sheep]]
File:Kent Brockman.png|[[Kent Brockman]]
File:Charles Montgomery Burns.png|[[Charles Montgomery Burns]]
File:Carl Carlson.png|[[Carl Carlson]]
File:Carl's Dad Caverns.png|[[Carl's dad]]
File:Mr._Costington.png|[[Mr. Costington]]
File:Frank Grimes (Official Image).PNG|[[Frank Grimes]] (tombstone)
File:Barney Gumble.png|[[Barney Gumble]]
File:Milhouse Van Houten.png|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]
File:Jeremy Jailbird.png|[[Jeremy Jailbird]]
File:Snake Jailbird.png|[[Snake Jailbird]]
File:Jimbo Jones.png|[[Jimbo Jones]] (picture)
File:Edna Krabappel.png|[[Edna Krabappel]]
File:Lard Lad Character.png|[[Lard Lad]] (statue)
File:Larry.png|[[Larry]]
File:Lenny Leonard.png|[[Lenny Leonard]]
File:Long haired girl.png|[[Long haired girl]]
File:Timothy Lovejoy, Jr..png|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]
File:Otto Mann.png|[[Otto Mann]]
File:Roger Meyers, Jr..png|[[Roger Meyers, Jr.]]
File:Nelson Muntz.png|[[Nelson Muntz]]
File:Rich Uncle Pennybags.png|[[Rich Uncle Pennybags]]
File:Janey Powell.png|[[Janey Powell]]
File:Martin Prince.png|[[Martin Prince, Jr.]]
File:The Rich Texan.png|[[The Rich Texan]]
File:Sam.png|[[Sam]]
File:Bart Simpson.png|[[Bart Simpson]]
File:Homer Simpson.png|[[Homer Simpson]]
File:Lisa Simpson.png|[[Lisa Simpson]]
File:Maggie Simpson.png|[[Maggie Simpson]]
File:Marge Simpson.png|[[Marge Simpson]]
File:Seymour Skinner.png|[[Seymour Skinner]]
File:Waylon Smithers, Jr..png|[[Waylon Smithers, Jr.]]
File:Moe Szyslak.png|[[Moe Szyslak]]
File:Mr._and_mrs._vanderbilt.png|[[Mr. Vanderbilt]]
File:Rainier Wolfcastle.png|[[Rainier Wolfcastle]]
</gallery>

== Locations ==
<gallery>
File:82 Evergreen Terrace.png|[[82 Evergreen Terrace]]
File:Burns' manor.png|[[Burns' manor]]
File:Carl's Dad Caverns.png|[[Carl's Dad Caverns]]
File:The Cloth Napkin.png|[[The Cloth Napkin]]
File:King Toot's Music Store.png|[[King Toot's Music Store]]
File:Moe's Tavern.png|[[Moe's Tavern]]
File:Moeview Motel.png|[[Moeview Motel]]
File:Springfield Elementary School.png|[[Springfield Elementary School]]
File:Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.png|[[Springfield Nuclear Power Plant]]
File:Springfield Sign pic.png|[[Springfield sign]]
File:Toupee Chalet.png|[[Toupee Chalet]]
</gallery>

== Vehicles ==
<gallery>
File:Springfield Elementary School Bus.png|[[School Bus]]
</gallery>

== Miscellaneous ==
<gallery>
File:Xbox.png|[[Xbox]] (mentioned)
File:Rich_man's_club.jpg|[[Rich man's club]]
</gallery>

{{Season 17|A}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Seemingly Never-Ending Story/Appearances}}

My Fair Laddy/Quotes

2019-11-17T10:34:51Z

2F13: formatting, linking

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|We're on the Road to D'ohwhere|The Seemingly Never-Ending Story}}

{{qf|[[Willie]]}} ''[talking about the Home, Sweet Home sign Lisa made for him]'' You made that for me? ''[sniffles]'' I think I need a moment alone.
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} I understand. ''[leaves]''
:''[When she's gone, Willie takes the sign off the wall and smashes it.]''
{{qf|Willie}} I liked it the way it was!
----
:''[Marge is shocked by the ad on Homer's head when he turns out the lights.]''
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} It glows in the dark!
{{qf|Homer}} ''[nervously]'' It's not supposed to.
----
{{qf|[[Coach Krupt]]}} Bombardment! Bombardment! Bombardment!
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{{qf|[[Jimbo]]}} Look at her, trying to civilize Willie! That's as unlikely as Kearney going around the world in eighty days!
{{qf|[[Kearney]]}} ''[has a thought]'' Eighty days? More than ample time to circumnavigate the globe.
{{qf|Jimbo}} Would you care to wager on that?
{{qf|Kearney}} You're on!
{{qf|[[Dolph]]}} I shall hold the money!
:''[Pays Jimbo some money and then bikes off screen right. A few seconds later, a hot-air balloon appears going the opposite way.]''
{{qf|Kearney}} ''[in balloon]'' To [[Istanbul]]!
{{qf|Jimbo}} Wrong way, dingus!
----
{{qf|Coach Krupt}} Today we will be playing a game as old as pain itself, BOMBARDMENT.
{{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} I'm intrigued! How do you play?
{{qf|Coach Krupt}} DUCK OR DIE!
----
{{qf|Coach Krupt}} VAN HOUTEN!
{{qf|Milhouse}} ''[sheepishly]'' Here, sir, but my doctor says no more bombardment.
{{qf|Coach Krupt}} WELL HERE'S A SECOND OPINION! ''[the coach chucks a dodgeball at Milhouse]'' MUNTZ!
{{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Do your worst! I'm drunk!
{{qf|Coach Krupt}} Well welcome to A.A., ALWAYS ATTACKING! ''[the coach chucks a dodgeball at Nelson]''
----
{{qf|Lisa}} Good night, Willie!
{{qf|Willie}} Good night! ''[hits himself on the head with a hammer, then falls asleep]''
----
{{qf|Coach Krupt}} ''[after he hits Bart with a ball]'' Son, are you all right?
{{qf|Bart}} I think so...
{{qf|Coach Krupt}} BOMBARDMENT!''[hits Bart with a ball again]''
----
{{qf|Bart}} ''[puts a water dodgeball in the freezer and takes out Lisa's saxophone]'' Why did I put this in here?
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} My saxophone! ''[begins playing, but her lips get stuck]''
{{qf|Bart}} Oh, now I remember!
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[muffled]'' You jerk! I'm telling Mom!
----
:''[Homer is on a go-kart when his seat collapses, causing his butt to scrape the ground.]''
{{qf|[[Squeaky-voiced teen]]}} Sir, your go-kart's broken!
{{qf|Homer}} No! I paid for fifty laps and I'm taking them!
:''[Homer then has brief moments of laughter followed by brief moments of pain. He passes the lap sign, which goes from "2" to "3".]''
----
{{qf|[[Dewey Largo|Groundskeeper Largo]]}} Oh for God's sake! ''[camera pulls out, revealing his tractor is on the school roof]'' How did I get up here?
{{qf|Willie}} I feel like I..''[singing]'' could be indoors all night, could use a fork and knife, and never soil my suit! I could be so polite, start not a scene nor fight and still not feel like a fruit! How very nice that there's no lice in my hair, and my toenails I don't bite! Now that I've reached the stage where I'm not full of rage, I could be indoors, indoors, all night!
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{{qf|Willie}} ''[sings to the tune of wouldn’t it be loverly]'' ''All I want is a place somewhere...''
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[pause]'' And?
{{qf|Willie}} That's it.
{{qf|Bart}} Maybe you should aim a little higher.
{{qf|Willie}} Hmm... Let's see... ''[continues singing]'' ''Oh, to have me shack rebuilt, Get my rotten teeth all drillt, something on underneath my kilt, oh, wouldn't it be adequate? Matching shoes for both me feet, dining on untainted meat, a toilet what still has its seat.''
:''[Zoom to Homer sitting on the toilet reading a newspaper.]''
{{qf|Homer}} ''Oh,wouldn't it be adequate?''
{{qf|Bart and Lisa}} ''Adequate? Adequate?''
{{qf|Willie}} ''Wouldn't it be adequate?'' ''[tries to close the living room's window's curtains but they fall down]''
----
{{qf|Homer}} ''[watching Super Bowl ad for blue pants]'' How long is this ad?
{{qf|Executive}} I don't know. I've never made it to the end.
----
{{qf|Willie}} ''[singing]'' ''What flows from the nose does not go on my clothes.''
{{qf|Lisa}} ''I think he's got it, oh yeah, he's got it.''
{{qf|Willie}} ''[in front of Lisa's mirror]'' ''What flows from the nose-''
{{qf|Willie's mirror reflection}} ''-Does not go on my clothes.''
{{qf|Willie}} Gah! A talking mirror! ''[takes a chair and smashes Lisa's mirror]'' Gah! ''[takes Bart and Lisa's noses and swoops them]''
{{qf|Lisa}} ''Where is that ghastly flow?''
{{qf|Willie}} ''The nose,the nose!''
{{qf|Lisa}} ''And where should it not go?''
{{qf|Homer}} ''Blue pants, blue pants!''
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[stops singing]'' Dad, get your own song!
{{qf|Homer}} Fine. ''[goes away singing]'' ''I'm getting blue pants in the morning, ding dong, the zipper's gonna shine!''
----
{{qf|Willie}} ''[singing]'' ''I've a fancy suit,and a clean white shirt, but I miss the days when tractor fumes blew up my skirt. I was freezing cold, and I slept in mold, but I long for the shack where I lived. She was true to me, my own home of wood, and when I passed out drunk from turpentine she understood. Life was so sublime-''
{{qf|Groundskeeper Largo}} ''-Well Boo-Hoo,'cause I'm hanging ferns in the shack where you lived!'' ''[stops singing]'' If I had your voice I'd talk-sing everything!
----
{{qf|Marge}} Willie, do you want to stay at our house?
{{qf|Willie}} I don't need your charity, just as long as I've got a pan over my head.
{{qf|Marge}} That's a colander.
{{qf|Willie}} ''[sees that Marge is right]'' So ''that's'' where all the soup went.
----
{{qf|Willie}} ''I feel like I...'' ''[singing]''
:''Could be indoors all night,''
:''Could use a fork, and knife,''
:''and never soil my suit!''
:''I could be so polite''
:''Start not a single fight''
:''And still not feel like a fruit!''
:''How very nice''
:''That there's no lice''
:''In my hair.''
:''And my toe-nails I don't bite.''
:''Now that I've reached the stage''
:''Where I'm not full of rage''
:''I could be indoors''
:''Indoors all night!''

{{Season 17|Q}}

We're on the Road to D'ohwhere/Quotes

2019-11-17T10:21:05Z

2F13: formatting, linking

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Homer's Paternity Coot|My Fair Laddy}}

{{qf|[[Homer]]}} '''''D'OHHHHHH!''''' ''[after hearing that Bart can only travel to [[Oregon]] via car]''
:''[D'oh echoes to Moe's.]''
{{qf|[[Carl]]}} Oh, dang, Homer ain't comin'.
{{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Haw, haw!
{{qf|Carl}} And Nelson saw something funny! ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season17/dohwhere6.mp3 audio clip]''
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{{qf|Homer}} Did you know that in [[Massachusetts]] it's legal for a guy to marry his son?
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{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Well [[Maggie]], I always knew it would someday boil down to just you and me; I'll look for work in the morning.
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{{qf|Pilot}} ''[over PA]'' Welcome to [[Atlanta]]. Please keep your seat belt on until we've come to a complete stop.
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} No one tells Bart Simpson what to do! ''[unbuckles seat belt, which sets off an alarm]''
{{qf|Pilot}} ''[over PA]'' Thanks a lot, row 33 C! Now we have to fly back to [[Minneapolis]] and I'm very tired!
:''[Everyone groans as the plane makes a U-turn and takes off again.]''
----
{{qf|[[Smithers]]}} How much for this {{w|estrogen}}?
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} But that's a female replacement hormone.
{{qf|Smithers}} Uh-huh, it's for a friend who's trapped in the body of another friend.
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{{qf|Homer}} I'll have the smiley face breakfast special. Uhh, but could you add a bacon nose? Plus bacon hair, bacon mustache, {{W|five o'clock shadow}} made of bacon bits and a bacon body.
{{qf|[[Cora|Waitress]]}} How about I just shove a pig down your throat?
:''[Homer looks excited.]''
{{qf|Waitress}} I was kidding.
{{qf|Homer}} Fine, but the bacon man lives in a bacon house!
{{qf|Waitress}} No he doesn't! ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season17/dohwhere8.mp3 audio clip]''
----
:''[Inside Homer's head.]''
{{qf|Fun Homer}} Aw, Come on, Serious Homer, lemme out! We can get a monkey drunk and push him down the stairs!
{{qf|Serious Homer}} ''[whacks Fun Homer with his gun]'' I'll kill you, the way I killed Intellectual Homer!
----
{{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} Wow, the valve room. Now we can leave without touching a valve. What a story that will be!
----
{{qf|[[Skinner]]}} To help show the seriousness of Bart's offense, Superintendent Chalmers will be joining by video link.
{{qf|[[Chalmers]]}} And joining me by video link, State Comptroller Atkins.
{{qf|[[State Comptroller Atkins|Atkins]]}} Can we move this along? I'm attending an important conference here in [[Scottsdale]].
{{qf|Chalmers}} You're in Scottsdale? I'm in Scottsdale! The {{W|Hilton Hotel|Hilton}}. Room 381.
{{qf|Atkins}} Get out! I'm in 502! Hey, do you guys have any ice buckets down there?
{{qf|Chalmers}} No, we've been using shower caps. ''[Skinner turns off the TV]'' Skinner!
{{qf|Homer}} ''[Homer and Bart laugh]'' You made that TV show really mad.
----
{{qf|Carl}} But why you being so generous? You're usually so stingy and rat like.
{{qf|[[Moe]]}} Yeah well you remember that time I tried to hang myself and the rope broke? Well, I sued the rope company and I got a huge settlement... and a new rope!
----
:''[Homer's car is just hanging over a cliff.]''
{{qf|Bart}} If I help you, what are you gonna do to me?
{{qf|Homer}} Shower you with love, because this experience has taught me just how precious you are. ''[Bart pushes the car down]'' I'll kill you! I'll kill your whole family! ''[Bart moves the car up, threatening to send Homer over the cliff]'' Kidding, I'm kidding. We can do that; we have a special friendship. ''[car down]'' I'm gonna double kill you! Then I'm gonna bury you in a shallow grave! Then I'll dig you up and kill you again! That's the beauty of a shallow grave!! ''[car up]'' You sweet little angel, I'm ''[car down]'' gonna rip your head off and spit''[car up]'' down your adorable little neck, ''[car down]'' because I wanna smash your stupid head! ''[car up]'' I love you; we'll go on a fishing trip. ''[car down]'' But first, I'm gonna put you on a saw mill and punch your little face out! That's what I'm gonna do! ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season17/dohwhere10.mp3 audio clip]''
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{{qf|[[Jimbo]]}} Uh, I'm here for the, um... yard sale.
{{qf|Marge}} But that was yesterday.
{{qf|Jimbo}} No, I mean the "yard sale".
{{qf|Marge}} What are you talking about?
{{qf|Jimbo}} Can I buy some pills?
{{qf|Marge}} Well, maybe someone else can help you, because I'm not a drug grocer. ''[closes door, then hears knocking]'' Oh, I'm out of drugs! See how much money I've made! ''[sees Chief Wiggum at the door]'' ''[gasp]'' Chief Wiggum! Uh, are you still with the police department?
{{qf|[[Wiggum]]}} Save it, Ma Peddle!
{{qf|[[Lou]]}} "Ma Peddle"?
{{qf|Wiggum}} It's a reference to {{W|Ma and Pa Kettle|Ma Kettle}}, the popular movie character from the 1940s.
{{qf|Lou}} If you have to explain it, it's not good, Chief.
----
{{qf|Bart}} Oh, my God! My Dad had a long talk with me about this, but you never believe it until you see it! The cafeteria loading dock! We're having pizza tomorrow.
{{qf|Milhouse}} I'm gonna have a light breakfast.
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{{qf|[[Ralph]]}} ''[after steam engulfs the band room]'' I have two kinds of wet in my pants.
----
{{qf|Bart}} ''[to the restaurant shef]'' Hey Stavros, there's a guy in your bathroom trying to dine and dash.
{{qf|[[Stavros]]}} What?! No one dashy-dine on Stavros!
:''[Bart runs outside and past the bathroom window. Homer tries to climb out the window to chase him, but he gets stuck.]''
{{qf|Homer}} Why you little!... I'm stuck! Somebody's hitting my ass with a thing!
{{qf|Stavros}} This is frying pan!
{{qf|Homer}} Leave your ass, Homer. Leave your ass.

{{Season 17|Q}}

Homer's Paternity Coot/Quotes

2019-11-17T09:32:15Z

2F13: formatting, linking

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Simpsons Christmas Stories|We're on the Road to D'ohwhere}}

{{qf|Commercial}} How often have you driven by a fire and thought 'How can this benefit me?'
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{{qf|[[Homer]]}} To hell with that paternity test and its 99.99997% accuracy!
----
{{qf|[[Sideshow Mel]]}} ''[after his tires are ripped]'' My tires have been severely damaged! The prophecy has been fulfilled! ''[pointing to sign that reads "Do Not Back Up - Severe Tire Damage"]''
----
{{qf|Sign}} [[Springfield]] Tire Fire. Now smelled in 46 states.
----
{{qf|[[Quimby]]}} People aren't taking the tollbooth! We need those seventy-five centses to de-python the town fountain! Get them through that tollbooth by any means necessary!
{{qf|[[Wiggum]]}} Gotcha. No survivors. ''[gets out a shotgun and cocks it]''
{{qf|Quimby}} No Shooting.
{{qf|Wiggum}} But it's already cocked.
{{qf|Quimby}} Okay. Shoot into the fireplace.
:''[Wiggum does so and laughs.]''
----
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Let's go there before the next commercial tells me to do something else.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Who could my father be? [[Hans Moleman|Moleman]]? [[Mr. Burns]]? ''[gasps]'' {{w|M. Night Shyamalan}}? That would be a twist worthy of his increasingly lousy films! ''[http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season17/coot7.mp3 audio clip]''
----
{{qf|[[Ralph]]}} ''[with a tuba on his head]'' I'm C3-D2!
----
{{qf|Homer}} ''[looking around Mason's study, which is decorated with various adventurer's items]'' So, I infer from all the knickknacks you're some sort of..fruitcake?
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{{qf|Homer}} I'm sure my listeners will be pleased about that.
{{qf|[[Mason Fairbanks|Mason]]}} Listeners? Didn't you say you work for a newspaper?
{{qf|Homer}} Uh, no I didn't. I says I work for a radio station. WXI 940. Number one with our viewers.
{{qf|Mason}} Viewers? Wouldn't that be a TV show?
{{qf|Homer}} Uh, well, um, oh what the hey. I think you're my pappy!
{{qf|Mason}} Ga-whaaa?!
----
{{qf|Marge}} Lisa, I'm not sure that letter is age-appropriate reading. Why can't the government edit our mail like other countries?
----
{{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} ''[heading for the toll booth]'' Don't worry, this one's on [[Jesus]].
:''[He takes out the church collection plate which is full of coins. The Jesus figurine on his dashboard looks as if it's about to cry.]''
{{qf|Lovejoy}} Oh, be cool for once.
----
:''[Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are at the retirement home visiting Grandpa.]''
{{qf|Marge}} See, Grandpa, you still have a family. We still visit you even though we have no biological obligation.
{{qf|[[Grandpa]]}} So, Homer couldn't make it?
{{qf|Lisa}} No, but he told us to say hi. Hi!
:''[Long pause.]''
{{qf|Lisa}} So...what setting is that fan on?
:''[Pause.]''
{{qf|Grandpa}} Medium.
:''[Pause.]''
{{qf|Lisa}} I would've guessed low.
:''[Pause.]''
{{qf|Grandpa}} You would've guessed wrong.

{{Season 17|Q}}

Simpsons Christmas Stories/Quotes

2019-11-17T09:27:18Z

2F13: linking

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Italian Bob|Homer's Paternity Coot}}

{{qf|[[Virgin Mary]]}} Joseph, you know I have never lain with a man.
{{qf|[[Saint Joseph]]}} Tell me about it.
{{qf|Virgin Mary}} And yet, I am with child.
{{qf|Saint Joseph}} A pregnant virgin?! That's every man's worst nightmare.
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} I knew you'd forget, so my gift to you is a gift for you to give me.
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} It's just what I wanted. Here, Marge, this is for you.
----
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Grampa?!
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} What are you doing in the chimney?
{{qf|[[Grampa]]}} Trying to kill Santa. What's it to ya?!
{{qf|Bart}} What do you have against Santa?
{{qf|Grampa}} He screwed me over back in WWII! I was a navy pilot in the Pacific.
{{qf|Lisa}}Bart, why'd you ask him a follow-up question?
{{qf|Bart}} It just slipped out!
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{{qf|Grampa}} Cyrus, I miss you every day.
{{qf|[[Santa Claus]]}} He misses you, too.
{{qf|Grampa}} Wait! He, what, who?!
{{qf|Santa Claus}} Your brother didn't die in the war, Abe. He crashed into [[Tahiti]]. And he liked it so much, he never left. And now, if you like, I'll take you to him.
{{qf|Grampa}} Will we be back for the tournament of roses parade?
{{qf|Santa Claus}} Probably not.
{{qf|Grampa}} Good, I hate that crap.
{{qf|Santa Claus}} Yeah, me, too.
----
{{qf|Marge}} Where's [[Reverend Lovejoy]]? He's never been late for christmas service.
{{qf|Homer}} Maybe he's cheating on us with the episcopalians. Look at 'em, with their bright, airy narthex and light, flaky eucharist. I wouldn't mind dipping my hand in their font.

{{Season 17|Q}}

The Italian Bob/Quotes

2019-11-17T09:24:50Z

2F13: formatting, linking

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Last of the Red Hat Mamas|Simpsons Christmas Stories}}

{{qf|[[Martin]]}} A new car? May I suggest an {{w|Oldsmobile|''Olds''mobile?}}
:''[Silence.]''
{{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Mr. Burns sucks!
:''[Everyone laughs.]''
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{{qf|[[Homer]]}} You're sending me to [[Italy]]?
{{qf|[[Burns]]}} Yes.
{{qf|Homer}} Can I take my family?
{{qf|Burns}} Sure.
{{qf|Homer}} Do I have to hang out with them?
{{qf|Burns}} It would be nice.
:''[Homer groans.]''
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{{qf|Homer}} Why can't you people learn to speak my language? I learned to eat your food!
-----
{{qf|Homer}} ''[sees a man in first class on the plane]'' Hey, that man has a TV in his seat. I wonder what I got.
:''[Rips off the top of the armrest.]''
{{qf|Homer}} Oh, just a bunch of stupid wires.
:''[Homer rips off some of the wires and one of the engines falls off, landing in Cletus' front yard.]''
{{qf|[[Cletus]]}} Hey, Brandine! The kids just gots themselves a new playpen!
{{qf|[[Brandine]]}} Cletus, you're the most wonderful husband and son I ever had.
-----
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} ''[at the airport]'' What's up with the Canadian sticker on your backpack?
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Well, some people in Europe think that America has made some stupid choices for the past, oh, five years. So for the next week, I'm from [[Canada]].
{{qf|Bart}} Uh, I think Dad may blow your cover.
{{qf|Homer}} ''[pushing through the crowd]'' That flag is mine! ''[takes an American flag off the conveyor belt and stands on top of suitcases, waving the flag around]'' Don't mess with Texas! Shock and awe, losers! Shock and awe!
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Excuse me, Mr. Mayor. They say you speak English.
{{qf|Man behind chair}} Indeed I do.
:''[Man turns around to reveal that he is Sideshow Bob.]''
{{qf|Simpsons}} Sideshow Bob!
{{qf|[[Bob]]}} The Simpsons!
:''[They all scream.]''
-----
{{qf|Homer}} Yes, tell us your story. But it better have a beginning, a middle, and an end.
-----
{{qf|Woman crushing grapes}} Mi arrendo. Questo è troppo difficile.
{{qf|Man crushing grapes}} Piedini.
-----
:''[Homer gestures like Mussolini on the balcony]''
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[whispering]'' Dad, don't act like [[Mussolini]].
{{qf|Homer}} Ooh, I thought I was doing {{ch|Donald Trump}}.
-----
{{qf|Bob}} This is my bride, Francesca, and my son, Gino.
{{qf|Homer}} Holy moley! I always thought that you were, you know, out loud and proud.
{{qf|Bob}} Well, I experimented in college as one does.
{{qf|Homer}} Yeah. I never went to college.
{{qf|Bob}} ''[sarcastically]'' Stop the presses.
-----
{{qf|Marge}} ''[to Francesca]'' Hello. I'm Marge. This is my husband, Homer, my daughters, Lisa and Maggie, and my son, Bart Simpson.
{{qf|[[Francesca]]}} Bart Simpson? The name Roberto cries when he has the bad dream?
{{qf|[[Gino]]}} ''[making stabbing motions with his hand]'' Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! I make-a like my daddy!
-----
{{qf|Bob}} We are here to honor my old friends, the Simpsons. Tomorrow they return to America, taking with them my gratitude, my friendship, and my heartfelt wish that they never return.
-----
{{qf|Marge}} ''[looking in an Italian to English Dictionar]]'' Vendetta means...vendetta! ''[all the Simpsons scream]''
----
{{qf|Marge}} Boy, that Sideshow Bob goes from zero to murder awfully fast.
{{qf|Bart}} At least this time it was Lisa who ruined Bob's life.
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[groaning]'' Oh, I feel so sick!
{{qf|Homer}} ''[chuckle]]'' It's called a hangover, sweetie. And it's an unavoidable part of life.
-----
{{qf|Bart}} Please help us, Krusty. We don't want to be the first Christians to die at the [[Colosseum]]!
-----
{{qf|Marge}} Here's a cute fact. This sausage shop has been grinding the same family of pigs for six hundred years.
{{qf|Butcher}} Sono abitato dai fantasmi di diecimila maiali morti.
-----
{{qf|Francesca}} Oh, he makes love like a man who just got out of jail.
-----
{{qf|Lisa}} Hey, Krusty's in an opera here in Rome! He can save our lives! Come on, let's go!
{{qf|Homer}} ''[groans]'' Opera? They have that here too?
-----
{{qf|Lisa}} You have to help us! Sideshow Bob has sworn a vendetta against us!
{{qf|[[Krusty]]}} Vendetta? What's that, an Italian vending machine? ''[the Simpsons stare at him for a few seconds before Krusty bursts into tears]'' Aw! That's my opening joke! And my closer, and my saver, and my topper!
-----
{{qf|Krusty}} Put on these costumes and mix in with the crowd scenes. He won't kill you in front of all those witnesses!
{{qf|Homer}} Can I be the Phantom of the Opera?
{{qf|Lisa}} Dad, the Phantom isn't in this.
{{qf|Homer}} But I do such a great impression of him! ''[turns around and turns back to them with his hand covering one of his eyes]'' Ooh, I am the gayest supervillain ever! Beware my scented candles! Ooh, scented!
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{{qf|Bob}} I can't believe what that ''clown'' is doing to {{w|Ruggiero Leoncavallo|Leoncavallo}}! And they call ''me'' a murderer!
-----
{{qf|Bart}} Krusty, you saved us!
{{qf|Krusty}} Yeah, well, I need someone to help me smuggle antiquities back to America. Take a piece and hide it on your person. Hide it well.
-----
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[on an ancient Roman aqueduct; to Homer]'' Dad! You're driving on an ancient Roman aqueduct!
{{qf|Homer}} ''[to Lisa]'' Well, what am I supposed to do about it? Transport water from distant cities?
-----
{{qf|Homer}} ''[about to drive off an end of an unfinished aqueduct]'' Lazy Romans!
-----
{{qf|Bob}} ''[stomping grapes to the tune of "These Boots Are Made for Walking"]'' ''"These feet are made for stomping, and that's just what they'll do. One of these days these feet will make Chianti out of you!"''
-----
{{qf|Marge}} We're in a foreign city with no car, being stalked by a killer. I feel like I'm {{w|The Bourne Identity}}.
-----
{{qf|Krusty}} ''[talking to the audience at the Colosseum]'' So, I had this beautiful tour guide, right? And I tell her "I want to see your Naples!" She slaps me! ''[he laughs but the audience is silent]''
{{qf|Man from audience}} We call it "Napoli"!
{{qf|Krusty}} Yeah, well it sounds like you're all taking a Napoli! I know you're out there, I can hear you being greasy!
-----
:''[in [[Venice]], the Simpsons take a gondola ride]''
{{qf|Marge}} Oh, Homie, isn't Venice romantic? This gondola ride was a wonderful idea!
{{qf|Gondolier}} ''[singing to the tune of ''That's Amore'']'' ''When a wife looks like that and her husband's so fat, that's immoral. When she kisses that jerk while I do all the work, that's im...''
{{qf|Homer}} Hey, knock it off!
{{qf|Gondolier}} Excusi, no speak-an English. ''[resumes singing]'' ''When that big tub of lard...''
-----
{{qf|Bart}} Dad, cheese truck!
:''[They scream.]''
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[gasps]'' Mozzarella! Parmigiano! Provolone! Pecorino! Gorgonzola! Fontina! Taleggio! Bocconcini!
:''[Bocconcini drops onto the windshield.]''
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[screaming]'' MORTADELLA!

{{Season 17|Q}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Italian Bob/Quotes}}

The Last of the Red Hat Mamas/Appearances

2019-10-27T07:58:18Z

2F13: /* Characters */ Miss Springfield

{{TabA}}
{{EpisodePrevNextApp|See Homer Run|The Italian Bob}}

== Characters ==
<gallery>
File:Angelica.png|{{ap|Angelica|The Last of the Red Hat Mamas}}
File:Hugs Bunny.png|[[Hugs Bunny]]
File:Charles Montgomery Burns.png|[[Charles Montgomery Burns]]
File:Crazy Cat Lady.png|[[Crazy Cat Lady]]
File:Eddie.png|[[Eddie]]
File:Todd Flanders.png|[[Todd Flanders]]
File:Bernice Hibbert.png|[[Bernice Hibbert]]
File:Mama Jugs.png|[[Mama Jugs]] (deleted scene)
File:Krusty the Clown.png|[[Krusty the Clown]]
File:Cookie Kwan.png|[[Cookie Kwan]]
File:Helen Lovejoy.png|[[Helen Lovejoy]]
File:nelson Muntz.png|[[Nelson Muntz]]
File:Janey Powell.png|[[Janey Powell]]
File:Joe Quimby.png|[[Joe Quimby]]
File:Martha Quimby.png|[[Martha Quimby]]
File:Richard.png|[[Richard]]
File:Lou.png|[[Lou]]
File:Luigi Risotto.png|[[Luigi Risotto]]
File:Gerald Samson.png|[[Gerald Samson]]
File:Sherri and Terri.png|[[Sherri Mackleberry]]
File:Bart Simpson.png|[[Bart Simpson]]
File:Homer Simpson.png|[[Homer Simpson]]
File:Lisa Simpson.png|[[Lisa Simpson]]
File:Maggie Simpson.png|[[Maggie Simpson]]
File:Marge Simpson.png|[[Marge Simpson]]
File:Agnes Skinner.png|[[Agnes Skinner]]
File:Seymour Skinner.png|[[Seymour Skinner]]
File:Waylon Smithers, Jr..png|[[Waylon Smithers]]
File:Miss Springfield.png|[[Miss Springfield]]
File:Jebediah Springfield.png|[[Jebediah Springfield]]
File:Stanley (The Last of the Red Hat Mamas).png|{{ap|Stanley|The Last of the Red Hat Mamas}}
File:Tammy.png|[[Tammy]]
File:Sherri and Terri.png|[[Terri Mackleberry]]
File:Luann Van Houten.png|[[Luann Van Houten]]
File:Milhouse Van Houten.png|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]
File:NanaSophie.png|[[Nana Van Houten]]
File:Clancy Wiggum.png|[[Clancy Wiggum]]
File:Ralph Wiggum.png|[[Ralph Wiggum]]
File:Sarah Wiggum.png|[[Sarah Wiggum]]
</gallery>

==Locations==
<gallery>
File:742 Evergreen Terrace.png|[[742 Evergreen Terrace]]
File:Burns' manor.png|[[Burns' manor]]
File:Casino.png|[[Casino]]
File:Simpsons Chasing couch.png|[[Italy]]
File:‎Museum of Suffering.png|[[‎Museum of Suffering]]
File:Nudes Nudes Nudes.png|[[Nudes Nudes Nudes]]
File:Quimbyhouse.png|[[Quimby Compound]]
File:Springfield Children's Hospital.png|[[Springfield Children's Hospital]]
File:Springfield Elementary School.png|[[Springfield Elementary School]]
File:Springfield Park.png|[[Springfield Park]]
File:Vic Tayback Hotel & Casino.png|[[Vic Tayback Hotel & Casino]]
</gallery>

== Media ==
<gallery>
File:Has-Been Celebrity Poker.png|[[Has-Been Celebrity Poker]]
File:Peterson Field Guides to Birds.png|[[Peterson Field Guides to Birds]]
</gallery>

{{Season 17|A}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Last of the Red Hat Mamas/Appearances}}

Rome

2019-10-27T07:54:59Z

2F13: /* Appearances */ adding episode

{{Town
|name = Rome
|image = [[File:Colosseum TIB.png|250px]]
|country = [[Italy]]
|appearance = "[[Mobile Homer]]"
}}

'''Rome''' is the capital city of [[Italy]].

== History ==
{{incomplete}}
Rome is mentioned when one of the [[Southern RV-er]]s, whom [[Homer]] invited to his house, sings his own version of the song "{{W|I've Been Everywhere}}".<ref>"[[Mobile Homer]]"</ref>

[[Kirk]] and [[Luann]] have been to Rome 12 years ago.

== Appearances ==
*{{ep|Mobile Homer|(mentioned)}}
*{{ep|The Last of the Red Hat Mamas|(mentioned)}}
*{{ep|The Italian Bob}}
*{{ep|Pay Pal|(mentioned)}}
*{{game|The Simpsons: Tapped Out|(Colosseum and St. Paul's Basilica)}}

== References ==
{{Reflist}}

== External links ==
{{Wikipedialink}}

{{Towns and cities}}

[[Category:Mentioned locations]]

The Last of the Red Hat Mamas/Quotes

2019-10-27T07:53:21Z

2F13: linking, formatting

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|See Homer Run|The Italian Bob}}

{{qf|[[Homer]]}} "Burns' mansion"?! That's Mr. Burns' mansion!
----
{{qf|[[Wiggum]]}} Lou, talking like the chief doesn't make you the chief!
{{qf|[[Lou]]}} No, to be chief I'd have to wiggle into size 58 pants!
{{qf|Wiggum}} Oh, here it goes with the fat jokes! I just wish you could hit the easy targets on the firing range! You know... ''[pause, sees Lou preparing to cry]'' Lou, why must we hurt each other so?
{{qf|Lou}} ''[crying]'' Because... it's easier to be cruel than to say what you really feel. Permission to hug, chief.
{{qf|Wiggum}} Permission granted.
----
{{qf|[[Ralph]]}} ''[picking up eggs not noticing he is dropping them and picking up the same one again and again]'' Yay!
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Ralph, your basket has a hole in it.
{{qf|Ralph}} ''[stares blankly for a while]'' You're Lisa's Brother!
----
{{qf|Homer}} ''[in a fight with Hugs Bunny the Egg Hunt referee]'' Silly rabbit, kicks are for ribs!
----
{{qf|Homer}} You're just like all Easter bunnies; can't take a punch to the crotch!
----
{{qf|[[Burns]]}} Now, while we're out, remind me to get my eyes "re-balled" and my brain flushed out with vinegar.
{{qf|[[Smithers]]}} Yes, sir. Oh, and your knees will be back from the shop tomorrow.
{{qf|Burns}} Excellent.
----
{{qf|[[Tammy]]}} I'm Tammy, and these are the women of the Cheery Red Tomatoes.
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} ''[gasp]'' The national organization for women of a certain age?
{{qf|[[Agnes]]}} Yeah, only we don't sit around watching TV and eating bonbons, except on TV-Bonbon night, which is every Tuesday and Thursday.
----
:''[Homer and Marge are having dinner in the basket of a hot-air balloon. There is a thud and the camera pans upward, showing Moe on top of the balloon.]''
{{qf|Moe}} I can't believe this happened to me twice!
----
:''[In a flashback, Milhouse is walking through Italy with Grandma Nana Sophie.]''
{{qf|Milhouse}} ''[voice-over]'' My grandma hated English, 'cause in World War II, a GI left her with child, my uncle Bastardo. She only spoke Italian to me.
{{qf|[[Nana Sophie]]}} ''[Italian]'' These, my cherub, are olives.
{{qf|Young [[Milhouse]]}} I love you, Nana. ''[gets slapped]''
{{qf|Nana}} Idiota!
{{qf|Milhouse}} ''[voice-over]'' Every time I spoke English, she hit me.
{{qf|Young Milhouse}} Ow, that hurt. ''[gets slapped]''
{{qf|Nana}} Idiota!
{{qf|Young Milhouse}} I'm sorry I'm so stupid.
{{qf|Nana}} Milhouse Mussolini Van Houtan, parla in italiano, IDIOTA! ''[chases Milhouse with an olive branch]''
:''[Back to the present.]''
{{qf|Milhouse}} That's how I learned Italian and started wetting my bed.
----
{{qf|Marge}} I never had the courage to sky dive before!
{{qf|Tammy}} When we get back, we have a surprise for you.
{{qf|Marge}} Oh! Now I really hope my chute opens!
:''[The girls go into a circle while Moe dives through them attempting suicide.]''
{{qf|[[Moe]]}} Goodbye, cruel world! ''[to the girls]'' Ladies.
----
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} I studied all night. I even made flashcards. ''[Milhouse takes the flashcards and rips them up]'' My efforts!
{{qf|Milhouse}} Lisa, you don't ''learn'' Italian! You ''live'' Italian!
----
{{qf|[[Luigi]]}} Mr. Milhouse, I need your help! I don't know the translation to the cheese in my {{w|lasagna}}.
{{qf|Lisa}} But Luigi, surely you speak Italian.
{{qf|Luigi}} ''[sigh]'' No, I don't. I speak-a, how you say, fractured English. It's what my parents spoke at the home.
----
{{qf|[[Miss Springfield]]}} Joe! You said your wife was dead!
{{qf|[[Quimby]]}} And you said you graduated from Typing School!
{{qf|Miss Springfield}} I have trouble with the {{w|spacebar}}.
----
:''[At the Easter Egg hunt, Nelson takes four eggs from a bird's nest.]''
{{qf|Lisa}} Nelson, those don't count as Easter Eggs.
{{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Yeah, but they count as breakfast.
:''[Nelson eats one of the unhatched eggs. Several birds then fly in and begin pecking at his face.]''
{{qf|Nelson}} Ow! Ow! Ow! It was worth it!
----
{{qf|Homer}} If Marge is going {{w|bird watching}}, then why did she leave our copy of ''{{w|The Field Guide to the Birds}}'' by {{w|Roger Tory Peterson}} on our kitchen shelve?
:''[Opens book and begins reading.]''
{{qf|Homer}} ''[gasp]'' {{w|Greater Roadrunner|Roadrunners}} are real!
----
{{qf|Wiggum}} ''[watching Eddie direct traffic]'' Look at him tease that Subaru. And that guy can't get a girl; I'll never figure it out.
----
{{qf|[[Skinner]]}} Okay, Lisa, to go to Italy you must have outstanding grades. Check. Uh-oh. In order to go, the person must speak fluent Italian.
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[lying]'' Uh, check.
{{qf|Skinner}} You speak Italian?
{{qf|Lisa}} Of course! Why would I lie?
{{qf|Skinner}} Hmm, faultless logic. Of course, I must ask you to speak a few phrases to verify your fluency. ''[Lisa makes a nervous noise]'' Though not right now, 'cause I have meetings. ''[Lisa makes a relieved noise]'' How's tomorrow? ''[Lisa makes a nervous noise]'' 'Cause it's terrible for me. But I'll get back to you... soon.
{{qf|Italian tape}} "Voglio affittare una barca piccola." - I would like to rent a small boat.
:''[Lisa stops tape, repeats, then pushes "play"]''
{{qf|Tape}} "Progetto di scaricare questo corpo nell'oceano." - I plan to dump this body in the ocean.
{{qf|Lisa}} Huh? ''[she looks at the tape case, which says "Italian for Italian-Americans"]''
{{qf|Tape}} Ciò è che cosa ottenete per fare le domande! - This is what you get for asking questions! ''[gunshots are heard and Lisa throws the tape in the garbage]''
----
{{qf|Lisa}} Hmm, "Spend a summer in [[Rome]]".
{{qf|[[Sherri]]}} Rome?
{{qf|[[Terri]]}} Founded by {{w|Romulus and Remus|twins}} by the way. ''[sees Lisa is gone]'' Hey, where'd she go?
{{qf|Sherri}} Oh, well. Let's speak in our secret twin language.
:''[Sherri and Terri then go into a bizarre language of high-speed jabbering and body movement.]''
----
{{qf|Marge}} ''[after learning of the plan to break into Burns' mansion]'' Are there any other surprises?
{{qf|Tammy}} I'm not a natural red-head.
:''[Marge faints.]''
----
{{qf|Agnes}} I'll handle the vault. Burns told me the combination while feeling me up during {{w|Great Depression|the Depression}}. Zero to the left, zero to the right, back to...zero.
----
{{qf|Burns}} ''[about to hand a giant cheque before snatching it back]'' Instead of giving the money, I will use it to extend my life, another ten minutes. Smithers.
:''[Smithers takes out a giant marker pen and writes the word VOID over the cheque.]''
{{qf|Burns}} And the register.
:''[Smithers uses the pen to draw a cross over the reply slip.]''

{{Season 17|Q}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Last of the Red Hat Mamas/Quotes}}

The Last of the Red Hat Mamas/Quotes

2019-10-27T07:44:26Z

2F13: major reformatting

{{TabQ}}
{{Cleanup}}

'''Homer:''' "Burns' mansion"?! That's Mr. Burns' mansion!
----
'''Wiggum:''' Lou, talking like the chief doesn't make you the chief!
'''Lou:''' No, to be chief I'd have to wiggle into size 58 pants!
'''Wiggum:''' Oh, here it goes with the fat jokes! I just wish you could hit the easy targets on the firing range! You know... ''(pause, sees Lou preparing to cry)'' Lou, why must we hurt each other so?
'''Lou:''' ''(crying)'' Because... it's easier to be cruel than to say what you really feel. Permission to hug, chief.
'''Wiggum:''' Permission granted.
----
'''Ralph:''' ''(picking up eggs not noticing he is dropping them and picking up the same one again and again)'' Yay!
'''Bart:''' Ralph, your basket has a hole in it.
'''Ralph:''' ''(stares blankly for a while)'' You're Lisa's Brother!
----
'''Homer:''' ''(in a fight with Hugs Bunny the Egg Hunt referee)'' Silly rabbit, kicks are for ribs!
----
'''Homer:''' You're just like all Easter bunnies; can't take a punch to the crotch!
----
'''Burns:''' Now, while we're out, remind me to get my eyes "re-balled" and my brain flushed out with vinegar.
'''Smithers:''' Yes, sir. Oh, and your knees will be back from the shop tomorrow.
'''Burns:''' Excellent.
----
'''Tammy:''' I'm Tammy, and these are the women of the Cheery Red Tomatoes.
'''Marge:''' ''(gasp)'' The national organization for women of a certain age?
'''Agnes:''' Yeah, only we don't sit around watching TV and eating bonbons, except on TV-Bonbon night, which is every Tuesday and Thursday.
----
:''(Homer and Marge are having dinner in the basket of a hot-air balloon. There is a thud and the camera pans upward, showing Moe on top of the balloon.)''
'''Moe:''' I can't believe this happened to me twice!
----
:''(In a flashback, Milhouse is walking through Italy with Grandma Nana Sophie.)''
'''Milhouse:''' ''(voice-over)'' My grandma hated English, 'cause in World War II, a GI left her with child, my uncle Bastardo. She only spoke Italian to me.
'''Nana Sophie:''' ''(Italian)'' These, my cherub, are olives.
'''Young Milhouse:''' I love you, Nana. ''(gets slapped)''
'''Nana:''' Idiota!
'''Milhouse:''' ''(voice-over)'' Every time I spoke English, she hit me.
'''Young Milhouse:''' Ow, that hurt. ''(gets slapped)''
'''Nana:''' Idiota!
'''Young Milhouse:''' I'm sorry I'm so stupid.
'''Nana:''' Milhouse Mussolini Van Houtan, parla in italiano, IDIOTA! ''(chases Milhouse with an olive branch)''
:''(Back to the present.)''
'''Milhouse:''' That's how I learned Italian and started wetting my bed.
----
'''Marge:''' I never had the courage to sky dive before!
'''Tammy:''' When we get back, we have a surprise for you.
'''Marge:''' Oh! Now I really hope my chute opens!
:''(The girls go into a circle while Moe dives through them attempting suicide.)''
'''Moe:''' Goodbye, cruel world! ''(to the girls)'' Ladies.
----
'''Lisa:''' I studied all night. I even made flashcards. ''(Milhouse takes the flashcards and rips them up)'' My efforts!
'''Milhouse:''' Lisa, you don't ''learn'' Italian! You ''live'' Italian!
----
'''Luigi:''' Mr. Milhouse, I need your help! I don't know the translation to the cheese in my {{w|lasagna}}.
'''Lisa:''' But Luigi, surely you speak Italian.
'''Luigi:''' ''(sigh)'' No, I don't. I speak-a, how you say, fractured English. It's what my parents spoke at the home.
----
'''Miss Springfield:''' Joe! You said your wife was dead!
'''Quimby:''' And you said you graduated from Typing School!
'''Miss Springfield:''' I have trouble with the {{w|spacebar}}.
----
:''(At the Easter Egg hunt, Nelson takes four eggs from a bird's nest.)''
'''Lisa:''' Nelson, those don't count as Easter Eggs.
'''Nelson:''' Yeah, but they count as breakfast.
:''(Nelson eats one of the unhatched eggs. Several birds then fly in and begin pecking at his face.)''
'''Nelson:''' Ow! Ow! Ow! It was worth it!
----
'''Homer:''' If Marge is going {{w|bird watching}}, then why did she leave our copy of ''{{w|The Field Guide to the Birds}}'' by {{w|Roger Tory Peterson}} on our kitchen shelve?
:''(Opens book and begins reading.)''
'''Homer:''' ''(gasp)'' {{w|Greater Roadrunner|Roadrunners}} are real!
----
'''Wiggum:''' ''(watching Eddie direct traffic)'' Look at him tease that Subaru. And that guy can't get a girl; I'll never figure it out.
----
'''Skinner:''' Okay, Lisa, to go to Italy you must have outstanding grades. Check. Uh-oh. In order to go, the person must speak fluent Italian.
'''Lisa:''' ''(lying)'' Uh, check.
'''Skinner:''' You speak Italian?
'''Lisa:''' Of course! Why would I lie?
'''Skinner:''' Hmm, faultless logic. Of course, I must ask you to speak a few phrases to verify your fluency. ''(Lisa makes a nervous noise)'' Though not right now, 'cause I have meetings. ''(Lisa makes a relieved noise)'' How's tomorrow? ''(Lisa makes a nervous noise)'' 'Cause it's terrible for me. But I'll get back to you... soon.
'''Italian tape:''' "Voglio affittare una barca piccola." - I would like to rent a small boat.
:''(Lisa stops tape, repeats, then pushes "play")''
'''Tape:''' "Progetto di scaricare questo corpo nell'oceano." - I plan to dump this body in the ocean.
'''Lisa:''' Huh? ''(she looks at the tape case, which says "Italian for Italian-Americans")''
'''Tape:''' Ciò è che cosa ottenete per fare le domande! - This is what you get for asking questions! ''(gunshots are heard and Lisa throws the tape in the garbage)''
----
'''Lisa:''' Hmm, "Spend a summer in {{w|Rome}}".
'''Sherri:''' Rome?
'''Terri:''' Founded by {{w|Romulus and Remus|twins}} by the way. ''(sees Lisa is gone)'' Hey, where'd she go?
'''Sherri:''' Oh, well. Let's speak in our secret twin language.
:''(Sherri and Terri then go into a bizarre language of high-speed jabbering and body movement.)''
----
'''Marge:''' ''(after learning of the plan to break into Burns' mansion)'' Are there any other surprises?
'''Tammy:''' I'm not a natural red-head.
:''(Marge faints.)''
----
'''Agnes:''' I'll handle the vault. Burns told me the combination while feeling me up during {{w|the Depression}}. Zero to the left, zero to the right, back to...zero.
----
'''Burns:''' ''(about to hand a giant cheque before snatching it back)'' Instead of giving the money, I will use it to extend my life, another ten minutes. Smithers.
:''(Smithers takes out a giant marker pen and writes the word VOID over the cheque.)''
'''Burns:''' And the register.
:''(Smithers uses the pen to draw a cross over the reply slip.)''

{{Season 17|Q}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Last of the Red Hat Mamas/Quotes}}

See Homer Run/Quotes

2019-10-26T06:35:57Z

2F13: linking, formatting

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo |Marge's Son Poisoning|The Last of the Red Hat Mamas}}

:''[Quimby is hijacking a plane.]''
{{qf|[[Joe Quimby]]}} ''[pointing with a gun to the pilot]'' Take this plane wherever girls are going wild!
----
{{qf|[[Freddy Quimby]]}} Mayor Quimby, your twelve years as mayor have been corrupt and full of scandals.
{{qf|Joe Quimby}} Who are you?
{{qf|Freddy Quimby}} I'm your chief of staff.
{{qf|Joe Quimby}} I knew I should have put my nephew in that position.
{{qf|Freddy Quimby}} I ''am'' your nephew.
----
{{qf|Joe Quimby}} Dear God, every wacko, nutcase and [[Disco Stu]] in this town is gonna run against me.
----
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Hundreds of Springfielders are running for mayor, including yours truly Kent Brockman. Coming up, a common household fabric could kill you! Find out when you vote for Kent Brockman.
----
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} How is your tail doing that?
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I don't know.
----
{{qf|[[Kearney]]}} Way to give into peer pressure!
{{qf|[[Dolph]]}} Hey, Milhouse! Cool kids ride bikes with their eyes closed!
{{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} ''[off camera]'' I'm cool! ''[he is heard him biking, as well as the inevitable results involving a train]''
{{qf|Dolph}} Uh, I'm late for Hebrew school.
----
:''[At the debate forum.]''
{{qf|Kent Brockman}} Now, our first question is to Eleanor Abernathy, also known as the Crazy Cat Lady. If you were mayor, what would be your primary concern?
{{qf|[[Crazy Cat Lady|Eleanor]]}} ''[unintelligible staggering]'' Small business incentives! ''[unintelligible staggering]'' Corporate accountability! ''[unintelligible staggering]'' Cats in everyone's pants!
----
{{qf|Homer}} I will run for mayor!
{{qf|Lisa}} And I will be your campaign manager!
{{qf|Homer}} And I will find out what a mayor does! ''[pulls out a bottle of beer]'' Expand my brain, learning juice.
----
{{qf|Kent Brockman}} Homer, what about these allegations about you strangling your son? ''[holds up a photo of Homer strangling Bart in front of a banner that says Good luck at the press conference, Dad!]''
{{qf|Homer}} Why should this election be determined by a photo taken hours ago?
----
{{qf|[[Rainier Wolfcastle]]}} Who else should be mayor but me! A steroid-abusing, pot-smoking, women groping, son of a Nazi, washed-up movie star! ''[crowd cheers]'' I think we should keep an open mind toward stem-cell research. ''[crowd boos]''
----
{{qf|[[Miss Springfield]]}} Imagine me! The mayor! Then no one will laugh at my singing! ''[high pitched and very terrible singing voice]'' ''I'm proud to be an American...''
----
{{qf|[[Skinner]]}} I hold in my hand a sticker with a frowning face. Don't make me affix it to your file.
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[mocking him]'' Don't make me affix it to your file!
{{qf|Skinner}} ''[Lisa hits him with a dodge ball]'' I'm peeling off the back. ''[with a shoe]'' Don't make me do this! ''[with her saxophone]'' You leave me no choice.
:''[He puts the sticker on Lisa's file. The lights begin flickering overhead.]''
{{qf|Skinner}} Willie, rats are gnawing at the wires again.
{{qf|[[Willie]]}} Shut up, man! I'm making me ramen noodles!
----
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Check it out, I stole the sign!
{{qf|Dolph}} Check it out, we stole The Scream!
{{qf|Kearney}} Put that away! It creeps me out!
:''[Cletus drives his car with Brandine]''
{{qf|[[Brandine]]}} Cletus, turn left on Bart Boulevard!
{{qf|[[Cletus]]}} I told ya, there t'ain't ''[sic]'' no Bart Boulevard!
{{qf|Brandine}} Too late. Baby's already out. Get your huntin' knife and cut the umbrellica cord. ''[holds up his baby, still attached to the umbilical cord]''
----
{{qf|Homer}} To open another present now would be like following the London Philharmonic with Jessica Simpson. Whatcha got, Lisa?
----
:''[Moe is pasting his own face onto pictures of Marge and Homer's wedding.]''
{{qf|[[Moe]]}}''' ''[to the tune of '{{w|Bridal Chorus|Here Comes The Bride}}']'' ''Here comes the Moe / with a pretty girl / 'cause these are things that happened in real life.''
{{qf|[[Barney]]}} Hey, Moe, can we get a beer?
{{qf|Moe}} Shut up and hand me more Moe heads.
----
:''[Homer steps on Snowball II.]''
{{qf|Homer}} Sorry, Bart!

{{Season 17|Q}}

Marge's Son Poisoning/Quotes

2019-10-26T06:04:35Z

2F13: linking, formatting

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Treehouse of Horror XVI|See Homer Run}}

{{qf|[[Homer]]}} ''[counting lifts]'' 16, 98, 54, banana...
----
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Sorry, Mom, I can't. I'm playing a video game. ''[we then see that Bart's game is "[[A Tandem Bike Ride With Your Mom]]"]'' Big hill! Pedal faster! Now enjoy scenery! Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy!
----
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Bart, you’re a wild heck-raiser, and I don’t want to see you turn in to THAT. ''[pointing at Seymour]''
{{qf|[[Seymour]]}} What? A wall?
----
:''[Outside the [[742 Evergreen Terrace|Simpsons' house]], [[Jimbo]], [[Kearney]], and [[Dolph]] are singing "My Sharona"; music from {{w|The Knack}}. Homer throws his arm wrestling trophy through the window. They stop singing.]''
{{qf|Homer}} That song is a pop music footnote! ''[beat]'' I didn't say "stop"! ''[The bullies continue singing. End episode and roll credits]''
----
{{qf|[[Chalmers]]}} Next up on the [[Springfield Elementary]] Karaoke Showcase is.. SKINNERRRRR! and Mrs. SKINNERRRR!
----
{{qf|Homer}} Marge, you are worth more to me than all the pie-eating contests in the world.
{{qf|Marge}} I thought it was arm-wrestling.
{{qf|Homer}} I stopped by at a pie-eating contest on the way home.
----
:''[Homer gets into a bumper car and drives away.]''
{{qf|Sarcastic Guy}} ''[to Marge]'' Don't worry. He's not connected to the power supply, so he can't go far. Heh, heh, heh. Gulp.
:''[Homer's car gets connected to a power cable and wreaks havoc on the street before trapping Wiggum in his squad car.]''
{{qf|[[Wiggum]]}} Oooh, he's got us in the corner. I hate this ride!
----
{{qf|Marge}} ''[reading note at tea shop]'' "Fellow guests, our tea shop has been shut down because the Health Association found rat droppings in our cakes. It's not that we're bad people, we just weren't paying enough attention."
{{qf|Bart}} What's it say?
{{qf|Marge}} Um... she died.

{{Season 17|Q}}

Marge's Son Poisoning/Quotes

2019-10-26T05:58:30Z

2F13: preformatting

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Treehouse of Horror XVI|See Homer Run}}

'''Homer:''' ''(counting lifts)'' 16, 98, 54, banana...
----
'''Bart:''' Sorry, Mom, I can't. I'm playing a video game. ''(we then see that Bart's game is "[[A Tandem Bike Ride With Your Mom]]")'' Big hill! Pedal faster! Now enjoy scenery! Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy!
----
'''Marge:''' Bart, you’re a wild heck-raiser, and I don’t want to see you turn in to THAT. ''(pointing at Seymour)''
'''Seymour:''' What? A wall?
----
:''(Outside the Simpsons' house, Jimbo, Kearney, and Dolph are singing "My Sharona"; music from The Knack. Homer throws his arm wrestling trophy through the window. They stop singing.)''
'''Homer:''' That song is a pop music footnote! ''(beat)'' I didn't say "stop"! ''(the bullies continue singing. End episode and roll credits)''
----
'''Chalmers:''' Next up on the Springfield Elementary Karaoke Showcase is.. SKINNERRRRR! and Mrs. SKINNERRRR!
----
'''Homer:''' Marge, you are worth more to me than all the pie-eating contests in the world.
'''Marge:''' I thought it was arm-wrestling.
'''Homer:''' I stopped by at a pie-eating contest on the way home.
----
:''(Homer gets into a bumper car and drives away.)''
'''Sarcastic Guy:''' ''(to Marge)'' Don't worry. He's not connected to the power supply, so he can't go far. Heh, heh, heh. Gulp.
:''(Homer's car gets connected to a power cable and wreaks havoc on the street before trapping Wiggum in his squad car.)''
'''Wiggum:''' Oooh, he's got us in the corner. I hate this ride!
----
'''Marge:''' ''(reading note at tea shop)'' "Fellow guests, our tea shop has been shut down because the Health Association found rat droppings in our cakes. It's not that we're bad people, we just weren't paying enough attention."
'''Bart:''' What's it say?
'''Marge:''' Um... she died.

{{Season 17|Q}}

Treehouse of Horror XVI/Quotes

2019-10-20T06:56:11Z

2F13: linking, formatting, reordering

{{TabQ|gags=no}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Milhouse of Sand and Fog|Marge's Son Poisoning}}

== Opening Segment ==
{{qf|Sports Announcer}} It's the sixth game in the world series, and the current highlights is a cloud shaped like a giraffe that floated by during the rain delay. And look at that. The batter just called time out again! Let's look in the stands with the player's wives. Oh what do you know! They're talking on cell phones. No doubt complaining about the good life.
{{qf|[[Kang]]}} This is the most boring game in all the universe!
{{qf|[[Kodos]]}} And with all those steroids they take they look like freaks!
{{qf|Both}} Freaks! Freaks! Freaks! ''[A small minuture version of Kodos' head appears on Kodos' neck]''
{{qf|Mini Kodos}} Freaks! Freaks! ''[Kodos bites it off and eats it.]''
----
{{qf|Kang}} If we don't speed this game up, the Simpsons' Halloween Special will not air until Administrative Professionals' Day!
{{qf|Kodos}} Speaking of which, we must remember to get Dorothy something. :''[holds up a framed picture of Kang and Kodos with an attractive woman]''
----
{{qf|Kang}} The boredom is excruciating! Fire the Accele-Ray!
:''[The flying saucer then fires the Accele-Ray at Earth, which causes the game to go faster.]''
{{qf|Announcer}} Strike out, left field. And some kind of Accele-Ray has bathed the stadium in an eerie green glow.
{{qf|Kang}} It's still boring! Faster!
{{qf|Kodos}} But the fabric of the universe itself may shatter!
{{qf|Kang}} Good! Only then could the Cubs will finally win! ''[Kodos makes the Accele-Ray go faster]''
----
{{qf|Kodos}} ''[after the fabric of the universe shatters]'' Smooth move, space laxs! You've destroyed the totality of existents!
----
{{qf|Kang}} It will be fine. I'll just leave a note. ''[Hangs a post-it note saying Trehouse of Horror XVI]''

== B.I.: Bartificial Intelligence ==
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Yeah, a robot son will be great. We can confuse him and make his head explode! ''[robot voice]'' This statement is a lie. But if it's a lie, then it must be true! And if it's true, it must be... Woop, woop, woop! KA-BOOM!
{{qf|[[Dr. Hibbert]]}} And a robot would keep your mind off your dead son.
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} I thought he was in a coma!
{{qf|Dr. Hibbert}} They're pretty much the same thing except this way I get to keep billing you!
{{qf|Marge}} You already said that!
{{qf|Dr. Hibbert}} Well you didn't laugh the first time!
----
{{qf|Homer}} Now, I'm a man who likes to strangle his son...
{{qf|Sarcastic Man}} Go ahead.
{{qf|Homer}} WHY YOU METAL!! ''[begins strangling David]'' Wow! The windpipe is so responsive!
----
{{qf|[[David]]}} Bart, we can be friends.
{{qf|Bart}} Eat my shorts!
{{qf|David}} I will comply.
:''[David eats Barts shorts and then processes them into a teddy bear for Maggie]''
{{qf|Homer}} ''[taking off his pants]'' Make me a kitty!
----
{{qf|Bart-tron}} I'm home!
{{qf|Marge}} You told me he was at culinary school.
{{qf|Homer}} You wanted to believe the lie!
{{qf|Bart-tron}} Time to destroy the one who did this to me!
{{qf|David}} To get me, you will have to go through your fa... ''[David holds up Homer... and Bart slices them both]''
{{qf|Homer}} ''[after being cut in half]'' Oh, those were my good pants!
----
{{qf|Homer}} This stinks! I've got stubby little robot legs and an ass that's not equipped for an adult diet! ''[the robot legs break and Homer falls over]''
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Dad, dad, dad! You're not a robot! ''[Homer wakes up to find he's in bed and the whole family is next to him]'' You're just possessed by the devil.
{{qf|Priest}} The power of Christ compels thee! ''[throws a drop of holy water on Homer's head. Homer goes insane and his head keeps rotating as he climbs the wall and onto the ceiling]''
{{qf|Marge}} I'll call work and tell them he can't make it.
{{qf|Homer}} Woo-hoo! ''[falls onto the bed on his belly with his head pointing to the ceiling]'' He, he, he. Suckers.

== Survival of the Fattest ==
{{qf|Burns' invitation}} ''[reading]'' "Dear Homer Simpson -- Mr. Burns invites you to a hunting party at his private estate." Parenthesis, sinister laugh, closed parenthesis.
{{qf|Lisa}} Don't accept this invitation dad. Hunting is cruel!
{{qf|Homer}} Lisa, animals don't feel death. That was proven by the scientists at Black Angus!
{{qf|Bart}} No fair! Dad gets to kill wild animals, but I shoot one bird and I have to go to a psychiatrist!
{{qf|Marge}} He still thinks that hobo was a bird.
----
{{qf|[[Burns]]}} Now, since I am so kind, I will give you a five minutes' head-start. You may commence running!
{{qf|[[Comic Book Guy]]}} Five minutes of running? Just shoot me now! ''[Burns does so]''
{{qf|Burns}} Well, that broke the ice. Whoever lives to noon tomorrow shall win his freedom!
{{qf|[[Blue-Haired Lawyer]]}} Excuse me. What gives you the right to do this?
{{qf|Burns}} You tell me. You are my lawyer.
{{qf|Lawyer}} Well, you are zoned for hunting and you claim killing humans is part of your religion. I think I can write something up. ''[cut to the Lawyer on a typewriter]'' There. This should work in just about any courtroom.
{{qf|Burns}} Excellent. ''[kills the lawyer]''
----
{{qf|Burns}} I smell fear, mixed with curry.
----
{{qf|[[Apu]]}} ''[after getting shot by Burns]'' Ah,you got me. But I shall be reincarnated. ''[dies, then a rabbit with Apu's face appears]''
{{qf|Rabbit Apu}} Ha, ha! You can't kill a Hindu! ''[his foreleg gets caught in a bear trap]'' Ah! Help me Jesus!
----
:''[Homer running away from Burns while Burns is shooting him. A TV show logo appears.]''
{{qf|Logo}} "The World Series of Manslaughter"
{{qf|TV Announcer}} You're watching the World Series of Manslaughter! The most violent spectacle since the Hip-Hop image awards!
:''[Lisa and Marge watching TV.]''
{{qf|Lisa}} Mom! Mr. Burns is going to kill Dad!
{{qf|Marge}} I should have known something was wrong when we got this week's TV guide. ''[Holds up the TV guide with a picture of Homer running away from Burns.]''
{{qf|TV Guide}} Must Flee TV.
----
{{qf|TV Announcer}} And here with his take on tonight's bloodthirsty action, here's guest Terry Bradshaw. Terry.
{{qf|Terry Bradshaw}} Well conventional wisdom says "Good fleeing will always mean good chasing" BUT the stats say "Put your money on the guy with the gun"!
:''[Krusty being chased by Burns in the background and gets shot.]''
{{qf|[[Krusty]]}} Dying is just like golfing, except in golf - ''[Burns keeps shooting Krusty]''
{{qf|[[Terry Bradshaw]]}} Aw, you hate to see that. That's the kind of showboating that'll put people off this sport!
----
{{qf|[[Moe]]}} ''[impaled on a weathervane]'' Well, before I die, I'll scratch off that lottery ticket I bought. ''[does so]'' Instant winner? One million dollars!? Boy, if I ever get out alive... ''[gets crushed by [[Wiggum]]]''
----
{{qf|[[Lenny]]}} ''[after getting shot by Burns' plane]'' Carl, I see [[Heaven]].
{{qf|[[Carl]]}} What does it look like?
:''[We then see Lenny's vision: a Heaven with thousands of angels who look like Carl.]''
{{qf|Carl angels}} Hurry up, Lenny. We'll be late for work at the [[Springfield Nuclear Power Plant|plant]]! ''[Lenny dies happily]''

== I've Grown a Costume on Your Face ==
{{qf|[[Mayor Quimby]]}} And our finalist, Blacula.
{{qf|Dr. Hibbert}} Good lord! Just because I'm black and I'm dressed as Count Dracula that makes me Blacula? My wife told me not to go as Count Dracula but I say "Bernice, we live the 21st century times have changed".
{{qf|Quimby}} ''[to bodyguard]'' Get him the standard racial apology letter. It's in the middle drawer.
----
{{qf|Apu}} Sucker! 25 dollars won't buy you a Balance bar! I exaggerate, but my prices are very high.
----
{{qf|Mayor Quimby}} ''[to the witch]'' Now, which one of our beloved regulars are you? [[Lindsey Naegle]]? [[Helen Lovejoy]]? Old Jewish Man?
{{qf|[[Old Jewish Man]]}} No, I'm here. I'm dressed as my brother Ivan. Everyday I miss him.
{{qf|[[Witch]]}} Well, this is a little bit awkward, because I am not wearing a costume. I'm a real witch! ''[everyone gasps]''
{{qf|Carl}} Wait a minute. That's cheating!
{{qf|[[Sideshow Mel]]}} Burn her! ''[pauses]'' ... gift certificate!
{{qf|Mayor Quimby}} since you are not technically in costume you can't win this award.
{{qf|Witch}} Rescind my award will you you're all going to pay.
{{qf|Witch}} Taint of Mutant, scum uponed, thou shall become the guise thou donned!
{{qf|Carl}} Speak English you moron.
{{qf|Witch}}I am turning you into your costumes.
----
{{qf|[[Grandpa]]}} Look at me! I'm a hip, young, strapping gorilla!
:''[Starts swinging from the telephone wires, but misses one wire and falls down, hurting himself. Dr. Dracula appears.]''
{{qf|Dr. Dracula}} Off we go to the gorilla hospital. ''[they fly off]''
{{qf|Grandpa}} That's it, suck the poison out. Hey wait a minute. ''[screams]''
----
:'''[[Disco Stu]] (who went as [[wikipedia:Steve Martin|Steve Martin]]):''' Disco Stu wishes he'd gone as Marilyn McCoo.
{{qf|Witch}} Good luck getting your deposits back on those costumes!
----
{{qf|Mayor Quimby McCheese}} ''[being eaten by the dogs]'' I am not a Happy Meal right now.
----
{{qf|Lisa Einstein}} ''[German accent]'' Ach! Zer must be some way out of zis ''verdammten'' spell.
{{qf|Marge}} Lisa, you think you can check on your father?
{{qf|Lisa}} Oh, zat is an excellent use of a genius brain, to look after an idiot head.
----
{{qf|Lisa Einstein}}: *gasp* zats de answer, [[Maggie]]'s a veal vitch now, she can veverse the spell!
:''[Werebart growls and jumps on the table]''
{{qf|WereBart}} I don't want to reverse the spell, I can howl at the moon and eat rats ''[eats a rat and howls]''
----
{{qf|Apu-D2}} As for Apu-D2, I can go both ways. Beep, boop, beep, click, click.
----
{{qf|Moe}} ''[after being turned into a giant pacifier]'' Oh. Well I Guess It's still better than being Moe.
----
{{qf|Moe}} ''[to viewers]'' Okay that concludes this years Halloween show We hope you had as much fun watching' our show as the Koreans did animating' it.
----
{{qf|Moe}} Dennis Rodman! What are you doing here?
{{qf|[[Dennis Rodman]]}} Working off a speeding ticket.

{{Season 17|Q}}

Treehouse of Horror XVI/Quotes

2019-10-20T06:39:28Z

2F13: formatting

{{TabQ|gags=no}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Milhouse of Sand and Fog|Marge's Son Poisoning}}

{{Cleanup}}

== Opening Segment ==
{{qf|Sports Announcer}} It's the sixth game in the world series, and the current highlights is a cloud shaped like a giraffe that floated by during the rain delay. And look at that. The batter just called time out again! Let's look in the stands with the player's wives. Oh what do you know! They're talking on cell phones. No doubt complaining about the good life.
{{qf|[[Kang]]}} This is the most boring game in all the universe!
{{qf|[[Kodos]]}} And with all those steroids they take they look like freaks!
{{qf|Both}} Freaks! Freaks! Freaks! ''[A small minuture version of Kodos' head appears on Kodos' neck]''
{{qf|Mini Kodos}} Freaks! Freaks! ''[Kodos bites it off and eats it.]''
----
{{qf|Kang}} If we don't speed this game up, the Simpsons' Halloween Special will not air until Administrative Professionals' Day!
{{qf|Kodos}} Speaking of which, we must remember to get Dorothy something. :''[holds up a framed picture of Kang and Kodos with an attractive woman]''
----
{{qf|Kang}} The boredom is excruciating! Fire the Accele-Ray!
:''[The flying saucer then fires the Accele-Ray at Earth, which causes the game to go faster.]''
{{qf|Announcer}} Strike out, left field. And some kind of Accele-Ray has bathed the stadium in an eerie green glow.
{{qf|Kang}} It's still boring! Faster!
{{qf|Kodos}} But the fabric of the universe itself may shatter!
{{qf|Kang}} Good! Only then could the Cubs will finally win! ''[Kodos makes the Accele-Ray go faster]''
----
{{qf|Kodos}} ''[after the fabric of the universe shatters]'' Smooth move, space laxs! You've destroyed the totality of existents!
----
{{qf|Kang}} It will be fine. I'll just leave a note. ''[Hangs a post-it note saying Trehouse of Horror XVI]''

== B.I.: Bartificial Intelligence ==
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Yeah, a robot son will be great. We can confuse him and make his head explode! ''[robot voice]'' This statement is a lie. But if it's a lie, then it must be true! And if it's true, it must be... Woop, woop, woop! KA-BOOM!
{{qf|Dr. Hibbert}} And a robot would keep your mind off your dead son.
{{qf|Marge}} I thought he was in a coma!
{{qf|Dr. Hibbert}} They're pretty much the same thing except this way I get to keep billing you!
{{qf|Marge}} You already said that!
{{qf|Dr. Hibbert}} Well you didn't laugh the first time!
----
{{qf|Homer}} Now, I'm a man who likes to strangle his son...
{{qf|Sarcastic Man}} Go ahead.
{{qf|Homer}} WHY YOU METAL!! ''[begins strangling David]'' Wow! The windpipe is so responsive!
----
{{qf|David}} Bart, we can be friends.
{{qf|Bart}} Eat my shorts!
{{qf|David}} I will comply.
:''[David eats Barts shorts and then processes them into a teddy bear for Maggie]''
{{qf|Homer}} ''[taking off his pants]'' Make me a kitty!
----
{{qf|Bart-tron}} I'm home!
{{qf|Marge}} You told me he was at culinary school.
{{qf|Homer}} You wanted to believe the lie!
----
{{qf|Bart-tron}} Time to destroy the one who did this to me!
{{qf|David}} To get me, you will have to go through your fath... ''[David holds up Homer... and Bart slices them both]''
{{qf|Homer}} ''[After being cut in half]'' Oh, those were my good pants!
----
{{qf|Homer}} This stinks! I've got stubby little robot legs and an ass that's not equipped for an adult diet! ''[The robot legs break and Homer falls over]''
{{qf|Lisa}} Dad, dad, dad! You're not a robot! ''[Homer wakes up to find he's in bed and the whole family is next to him]'' You're just possessed by the devil.
{{qf|Priest}} The power of Christ compels thee! ''[throws a drop of holy water on Homer's head. Homer goes insane and his head keeps rotating as he climbs the wall and onto the ceiling]''
{{qf|Marge}} I'll call work and tell them he can't make it.
{{qf|Homer}} Woo-hoo! ''[falls onto the bed on his belly with his head pointing to the ceiling]'' He, he, he. Suckers.

== Survival of the Fattest ==
{{qf|Burns' invitation}} ''[reading]'' "Dear Homer Simpson -- Mr. Burns invites you to a hunting party at his private estate." Parenthesis, sinister laugh, closed parenthesis.
{{qf|Lisa}} Don't accept this invitation dad. Hunting is cruel!
{{qf|Homer}} Lisa, animals don't feel death. That was proven by the scientists at Black Angus!
{{qf|Bart}} No fair! Dad gets to kill wild animals, but I shoot one bird and I have to go to a psychiatrist!
{{qf|Marge}} He still thinks that hobo was a bird.
----
{{qf|Burns}} Now, since I am so kind, I will give you a five minutes' head-start. You may commence running!
{{qf|Comic Book Guy}} Five minutes of running? Just shoot me now! ''[Burns does so]''
{{qf|Burns}} Well, that broke the ice. Whoever lives to noon tomorrow shall win his freedom!
{{qf|Blue-Haired Lawyer}} Excuse me. What gives you the right to do this?
{{qf|Burns}} You tell me. You are my lawyer.
{{qf|Lawyer}} Well, you are zoned for hunting and you claim killing humans is part of your religion. I think I can write something up. ''[cut to the Lawyer on a typewriter]'' There. This should work in just about any courtroom.
{{qf|Burns}} Excellent. ''[kills the lawyer]''
----
{{qf|Burns}} I smell fear, mixed with curry.
----
{{qf|Apu}} ''[after getting shot by Burns]'' Ah,you got me. But I shall be reincarnated. ''[dies, then a rabbit with Apu's face appears]''
{{qf|Rabbit Apu}} Ha, ha! You can't kill a Hindu! ''[his foreleg gets caught in a bear trap]'' Ah! Help me Jesus!
----
:''[Homer running away from Burns while Burns is shooting him. A TV show logo appears.]''
{{qf|Logo}} "The World Series of Manslaughter"
{{qf|TV Announcer}} You're watching the World Series of Manslaughter! The most violent spectacle since the Hip-Hop image awards!
:''[Lisa and Marge watching TV.]''
{{qf|Lisa}} Mom! Mr. Burns is going to kill Dad!
{{qf|Marge}} I should have known something was wrong when we got this week's TV guide. ''[Holds up the TV guide with a picture of Homer running away from Burns.]''
{{qf|TV Guide}} Must Flee TV.
----
{{qf|TV Announcer}} And here with his take on tonight's bloodthirsty action, here's guest Terry Bradshaw. Terry.
{{qf|Terry Bradshaw}} Well conventional wisdom says "Good fleeing will always mean good chasing" BUT the stats say "Put your money on the guy with the gun"!
:''[Krusty being chased by Burns in the background and gets shot]''
{{qf|Krusty}} Dying is just like golfing, except in golf - ''[Burns keeps shooting Krusty]''
{{qf|Terry Bradshaw}} Aw, you hate to see that. That's the kind of showboating that'll put people off this sport!
----
{{qf|Moe}} (impaled on a weathervane) Well, before I die, I'll scratch off that lottery ticket I bought. ''[does so]'' Instant winner? One million dollars!? Boy, if I ever get out alive... ''[gets crushed by Wiggum]''
----
{{qf|Lenny}} ''[after getting shot by Burns' plane]'' Carl, I see [[Heaven]].
{{qf|Carl}} What does it look like?
:''[We then see Lenny's vision: a Heaven with thousands of angels who look like Carl.]''
{{qf|Carl angels}} Hurry up, Lenny. We'll be late for work at the plant! ''[Lenny dies happily]''

== I've Grown a Costume on Your Face ==
{{qf|Mayor Quimby}} And our finalist, Blacula.
{{qf|Dr. Hibbert}} Good lord! Just because I'm black and I'm dressed as Count Dracula that makes me Blacula? My wife told me not to go as Count Dracula but I say "Bernice, we live the 21st century times have changed".
{{qf|Quimby}} (to bodyguard) Get him the standard racial apology letter. It's in the middle drawer.
----
{{qf|Apu}} Sucker! 25 dollars won't buy you a Balance bar! I exaggerate, but my prices are very high.
----
{{qf|Mayor Quimby}} (to the witch) Now, which one of our beloved regulars are you? Lindsey Naegle? Helen Lovejoy? Old Jewish Man?
{{qf|Old Jewish Man}} No, I'm here. I'm dressed as my brother Ivan. Everyday I miss him.
{{qf|Witch}} Well, this is a little bit awkward, because I am not wearing a costume. I'm a real witch! ''[everyone gasps]''
{{qf|Carl}} Wait a minute. That's cheating!
{{qf|Sideshow Mel}} Burn her! ''[pauses]'' ... gift certificate!
----
{{qf|Mayor Quimby}} since you are not technically in costume you can't win this award.
----
{{qf|Witch}} Rescind my award will you you're all going to pay.
----
{{qf|Witch}} Taint of Mutant, scum uponed, thou shall become the guise thou donned!
----
{{qf|Carl}} Speak English you moron.
{{qf|Witch}}I am turning you into your costumes.
----
{{qf|Witch}} Good luck getting your deposits back on those costumes!
----
{{qf|Grandpa}} Look at me! I'm a hip, young, strapping gorilla! ''[Starts swinging from the telephone wires, but misses one wire and falls down, hurting himself. Dr. Dracula appears]''
{{qf|Dr. Dracula}} Off we go to the gorilla hospital. ''[they fly off]''
{{qf|Grandpa}} That's it, suck the poison out. Hey wait a minute. ''[screams]''
----
:'''Disco Stu (who went as [[wikipedia:Steve Martin|Steve Martin]]):''' Disco Stu wishes he'd gone as Marilyn McCoo.
----
{{qf|[[Mayor Quimby|Mayor Quimby McCheese]]}} ''[being eaten by the dogs]'' I am not a Happy Meal right now.
----
{{qf|Lisa Einstein}} ''[German accent]'' Ach! Zer must be some way out of zis ''verdammten'' spell.
{{qf|Marge}} Lisa, you think you can check on your father?
{{qf|Lisa}} Oh, zat is an excellent use of a genius brain, to look after an idiot head.
----
{{qf|[[Lisa Simpson|Lisa Einstein]]}}: *gasp* zats de answer, Maggie's a veal vitch now, she can veverse the spell!
:''[Werebart growls and jumps on the table]''
{{qf|WereBart}} I don't want to reverse the spell, I can howl at the moon and eat rats ''[eats a rat and howls]''
----
{{qf|[[Apu|Apu-D2]]}} As for Apu-D2, I can go both ways. Beep, boop, beep, click, click.
----
{{qf|Moe}} ''[after being turned into a giant pacifier]'' Oh. Well I Guess It's still better than being Moe.
----
{{qf|Moe}} ''[to viewers]'' Okay that concludes this years Halloween show We hope you had as much fun watching' our show as the Koreans did animating' it.
----
{{qf|Moe}} Dennis Rodman! What are you doing here?
{{qf|Dennis Rodman}} Working off a speeding ticket.

{{Season 17|Q}}

Treehouse of Horror XVI/Quotes

2019-10-20T06:26:43Z

2F13: formatting

{{TabQ|gags=no}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Milhouse of Sand and Fog|Marge's Son Poisoning}}

{{Cleanup}}

== Opening Segment ==
'''Sports Announcer:''' It's the sixth game in the world series, and the current highlights is a cloud shaped like a giraffe that floated by during the rain delay. And look at that. The batter just called time out again! Let's look in the stands with the player's wives. Oh what do you know! They're talking on cell phones. No doubt complaining about the good life.
'''Kang:''' This is the most boring game in all the universe!
'''Kodos:''' And with all those steroids they take they look like freaks!
'''Both:''' Freaks! Freaks! Freaks! (''A small minuture version of Kodos' head appears on Kodos' neck)''
'''Mini Kodos:''' Freaks! Freaks! ''(Kodos bites it off and eats it.)''
----
'''[[Kang]]:''' If we don't speed this game up, the Simpsons' Halloween Special will not air until Administrative Professionals' Day!
'''Kodos:''' Speaking of which, we must remember to get Dorothy something. :''(holds up a framed picture of Kang and Kodos with an attractive woman)''
----
'''Kang:''' The boredom is excruciating! Fire the Accele-Ray!
:''(The flying saucer then fires the Accele-Ray at Earth, which causes the game to go faster.)''
'''Announcer:''' Strike out, left field. And some kind of Accele-Ray has bathed the stadium in an eerie green glow.
'''Kang:''' It's still boring! Faster!
'''[[Kodos]]:''' But the fabric of the universe itself may shatter!
'''Kang:''' Good! Only then could the Cubs will finally win! ''(Kodos makes the Accele-Ray go faster)''
----
'''Kodos:''' ''(after the fabric of the universe shatters)'' Smooth move, space laxs! You've destroyed the totality of existents!
----
'''Kang:''' It will be fine. I'll just leave a note. ''(Hangs a post-it note saying Trehouse of Horror XVI)''

== B.I.: Bartificial Intelligence ==
'''[[Homer]]:''' Yeah, a robot son will be great. We can confuse him and make his head explode! ''(robot voice)'' This statement is a lie. But if it's a lie, then it must be true! And if it's true, it must be... Woop, woop, woop! KA-BOOM!
'''Dr. Hibbert:''' And a robot would keep your mind off your dead son.
'''Marge:''' I thought he was in a coma!
'''Dr. Hibbert:''' They're pretty much the same thing except this way I get to keep billing you!
'''Marge:''' You already said that!
'''Dr. Hibbert:''' Well you didn't laugh the first time!
----
'''Homer:''' Now, I'm a man who likes to strangle his son...
'''Sarcastic Man:''' Go ahead.
'''Homer:''' WHY YOU METAL!! ''(begins strangling David)'' Wow! The windpipe is so responsive!
----
'''David:''' Bart, we can be friends.
'''Bart:''' Eat my shorts!
'''David:''' I will comply.
:''(David eats Barts shorts and then processes them into a teddy bear for Maggie)''
'''Homer:''' ''(taking off his pants)'' Make me a kitty!
----
'''Bart-tron:''' I'm home!
'''Marge:''' You told me he was at culinary school.
'''Homer:''' You wanted to believe the lie!
----
'''Bart-tron:''' Time to destroy the one who did this to me!
'''David:''' To get me, you will have to go through your fath... ''(David holds up Homer... and Bart slices them both)''
'''Homer:''' ''(After being cut in half)'' Oh, those were my good pants!
----
'''Homer:''' This stinks! I've got stubby little robot legs and an ass that's not equipped for an adult diet! ''(The robot legs break and Homer falls over)''
'''Lisa:''' Dad, dad, dad! You're not a robot! ''(Homer wakes up to find he's in bed and the whole family is next to him)'' You're just possessed by the devil.
'''Priest:''' The power of Christ compels thee! ''(Throws a drop of holy water on Homer's head. Homer goes insane and his head keeps rotating as he climbs the wall and onto the ceiling)''
'''Marge:''' I'll call work and tell them he can't make it.
'''Homer:''' Woo-hoo! ''(falls onto the bed on his belly with his head pointing to the ceiling)'' He, he, he. Suckers.

== Survival of the Fattest ==
'''Burns' invitation:''' Mr. Burns is inviting you to a hunting party. ''(sinister laugh)''
----
'''Lisa:''' Don't accept this invitation dad. Hunting is cruel!
'''Homer:''' Lisa, animals don't feel death. That was proven by the scientists at Black Angus!
'''Bart:''' No fair! Dad gets to kill wild animals, but I shoot one bird and I have to go to a psychiatrist!
'''Marge:''' He still thinks that hobo was a bird.
----
'''Burns:''' Now, since I am so kind, I will give you a five minutes' head-start. You may commence running!
'''Comic Book Guy:''' Five minutes of running? Just shoot me now! ''(Burns does so)''
'''Burns:''' Well, that broke the ice. Whoever lives to noon tomorrow shall win his freedom!
'''Blue-Haired Lawyer:''' Excuse me. What gives you the right to do this?
'''Burns:''' You tell me. You are my lawyer.
'''Lawyer:''' Well, you are zoned for hunting and you claim killing humans is part of your religion. I think I can write something up. ''(cut to the Lawyer on a typewriter)'' There. This should work in just about any courtroom.
'''Burns:''' Excellent. ''(kills the lawyer)''
----
'''Burns:''' I smell fear, mixed with curry.
----
'''Apu:''' ''(after getting shot by Burns)'' Ah,you got me. But I shall be reincarnated. ''(dies, then a rabbit with Apu's face appears)''
'''Rabbit Apu:''' Ha, ha! You can't kill a Hindu! ''(his foreleg gets caught in a bear trap)'' Ah! Help me Jesus!
----
:''[Homer running away from Burns while Burns is shooting him. A TV show logo appears.]''
'''Logo:''' "The World Series of Manslaughter"
'''TV Announcer:''' You're watching the World Sseries of Manslaughter! The most violent spectacle since the Hip-Hop image awards!
:''(Lisa and Marge watching TV.)''
'''Lisa:''' Mom! Mr. Burns is going to kill Dad!
'''Marge:''' I should have known something was wrong when we got this week's TV guide. ''(Holds up the TV guide with a picture of Homer running away from Burns.)''
'''TV Guide:''' Must Flee TV.
----
'''TV Announcer:''' And here with his take on tonight's bloodthirsty action, here's guest Terry Bradshaw. Terry.
'''Terry Bradshaw:''' Well conventional wisdom says "Good fleeing will always mean good chasing" BUT the stats say "Put your money on the guy with the gun"!
:''[Krusty being chased by Burns in the background and gets shot]''
'''Krusty:''' Dying is just like golfing, except in golf - ''(Burns keeps shooting Krusty)''
'''Terry Bradshaw:''' Aw, you hate to see that. That's the kind of showboating that'll put people off this sport!
----
'''Moe:''' (impaled on a weathervane) Well, before I die, I'll scratch off that lottery ticket I bought. ''(does so)'' Instant winner? One million dollars!? Boy, if I ever get out alive... ''(gets crushed by Wiggum)''
----
'''Lenny:''' (after getting shot by Burns' plane) Carl, I see [[Heaven]].
'''Carl:''' What does it look like?
''(we then see Lenny's vision: a Heaven with thousands of angels who look like Carl)''
'''Carl angels:''' Hurry up, Lenny. We'll be late for work at the plant! ''(Lenny dies happily)''

== I've Grown a Costume on Your Face ==
'''Mayor Quimby:''' And our finalist, Blacula.
'''Dr. Hibbert:''' Good lord! Just because I'm black and I'm dressed as Count Dracula that makes me Blacula? My wife told me not to go as Count Dracula but I say "Bernice, we live the 21st century times have changed".
'''Quimby:''' (to bodyguard) Get him the standard racial apology letter. It's in the middle drawer.
----
'''Apu:''' Sucker! 25 dollars won't buy you a Balance bar! I exaggerate, but my prices are very high.
----
'''Mayor Quimby:''' (to the witch) Now, which one of our beloved regulars are you? Lindsey Naegle? Helen Lovejoy? Old Jewish Man?
'''Old Jewish Man:''' No, I'm here. I'm dressed as my brother Ivan. Everyday I miss him.
'''Witch:''' Well, this is a little bit awkward, because I am not wearing a costume. I'm a real witch! ''(everyone gasps)''
'''Carl:''' Wait a minute. That's cheating!
'''Sideshow Mel:''' Burn her! ''(pauses)'' ... gift certificate!
----
'''Mayor Quimby:''' since you are not technically in costume you can't win this award.
----
'''Witch:''' Rescind my award will you you're all going to pay.
----
'''Witch''': Taint of Mutant, scum uponed, thou shall become the guise thou donned!
----
'''Carl:''' Speak English you moron.
'''Witch:'''I am turning you into your costumes.
----
'''Witch:''' Good luck getting your deposits back on those costumes!
----
'''Grandpa:''' Look at me! I'm a hip, young, strapping gorilla! ''(Starts swinging from the telephone wires, but misses one wire and falls down, hurting himself. Dr. Dracula appears)''
'''Dr. Dracula:''' Off we go to the gorilla hospital. ''(they fly off)''
'''Grandpa:''' That's it, suck the poison out. Hey wait a minute. ''(screams)''
----
'''Disco Stu (who went as [[wikipedia:Steve Martin|Steve Martin]]):''' Disco Stu wishes he'd gone as Marilyn McCoo.
----
'''[[Mayor Quimby|Mayor Quimby McCheese]]:''' ''(Being eaten by the dogs)'' I am not a Happy Meal right now.
----
'''Lisa Einstein:''' ''(German accent)'' Ach! Zer must be some way out of zis ''verdammten'' spell.
'''Marge:''' Lisa, you think you can check on your father?
'''Lisa:''' Oh, zat is an excellent use of a genius brain, to look after an idiot head.
----
'''[[Lisa Simpson|Lisa Einstein]]:''': *gasp* zats de answer, Maggie's a veal vitch now, she can veverse the spell!
:''(Werebart growls and jumps on the table)''
'''WereBart:''' I don't want to reverse the spell, I can howl at the moon and eat rats ''(eats a rat and howls)''
----
'''[[Apu|Apu-D2]]:''' As for Apu-D2, I can go both ways. Beep, boop, beep, click, click.
----
'''Moe:''' ''(after being turned into a giant pacifier)'' Oh. Well I Guess It's still better than being Moe.
----
'''Moe:''' ''(to viewers)'' Okay that concludes this years Halloween show We hope you had as much fun watching' our show as the Koreans did animating' it.
----
'''Moe:''' Dennis Rodman! What are you doing here?
'''Dennis Rodman:''' Working off a speeding ticket.

{{Season 17|Q}}

Treehouse of Horror XVI/Quotes

2019-10-20T06:11:08Z

2F13: major formatting

{{TabQ|gags=no}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Milhouse of Sand and Fog|Marge's Son Poisoning}}

{{Cleanup}}

== Opening Segment ==
*'''Sports Announcer:''' It's the sixth game in the world series, and the current highlights is a cloud shaped like a giraffe that floated by during the rain delay. And look at that. The batter just called time out again! Let's look in the stands with the player's wives. Oh what do you know! They're talking on cell phones. No doubt complaining about the good life.
'''Kang:''' This is the most boring game in all the universe!
'''Kodos:''' And with all those steroids they take they look like freaks!
'''Both:''' Freaks! Freaks! Freaks! (''A small minuture version of Kodos' head appears on Kodos' neck)''
'''Mini Kodos:''' Freaks! Freaks! ''(Kodos bites it off and eats it.)''
----
*'''[[Kang]]:''' If we don't speed this game up, the Simpsons' Halloween Special will not air until Administrative Professionals' Day!
'''Kodos:''' Speaking of which, we must remember to get Dorothy something. :''(holds up a framed picture of Kang and Kodos with an attractive woman)''
----
*'''Kang:''' The boredom is excruciating! Fire the Accele-Ray!
:''(the flying saucer then fires the Accele-Ray at Earth, which causes the game to go faster)''
'''Announcer:''' Strike out, left field. And some kind of Accele-Ray has bathed the stadium in an eerie green glow.
'''Kang:''' It's still boring! Faster!
'''[[Kodos]]:''' But the fabric of the universe itself may shatter!
'''Kang:''' Good! Only then could the Cubs will finally win! ''(Kodos makes the Accele-Ray go faster)''
----
'''Kodos:''' ''(after the fabric of the universe shatters)'' Smooth move, space laxs! You've destroyed the totality of existents!
----
'''Kang:''' It will be fine. I'll just leave a note. ''(Hangs a post-it note saying Trehouse of Horror XVI)''

== B.I.: Bartificial Intelligence ==
'''[[Homer]]:''' Yeah, a robot son will be great. We can confuse him and make his head explode! ''(robot voice)'' This statement is a lie. But if it's a lie, then it must be true! And if it's true, it must be... Woop, woop, woop! KA-BOOM!
'''Dr. Hibbert:''' And a robot would keep your mind off your dead son.
'''Marge:''' I thought he was in a coma!
'''Dr. Hibbert:''' They're pretty much the same thing except this way I get to keep billing you!
'''Marge:''' You already said that!
'''Dr. Hibbert:''' Well you didn't laugh the first time!
----
'''Homer:''' Now, I'm a man who likes to strangle his son...
'''Sarcastic Man:''' Go ahead.
'''Homer:''' WHY YOU METAL!! ''(begins strangling David)'' Wow! The windpipe is so responsive!
----
'''David:''' Bart, we can be friends.
'''Bart:''' Eat my shorts!
'''David:''' I will comply.
:''(David eats Barts shorts and then processes them into a teddy bear for Maggie)''
'''Homer:''' ''(taking off his pants)'' Make me a kitty!
----
'''Bart-tron:''' I'm home!
'''Marge:''' You told me he was at culinary school.
'''Homer:''' You wanted to believe the lie!
----
'''Bart-tron:''' Time to destroy the one who did this to me!
'''David:''' To get me, you will have to go through your fath... ''(David holds up Homer... and Bart slices them both)''
'''Homer:''' ''(After being cut in half)'' Oh, those were my good pants!
----
'''Homer:''' This stinks! I've got stubby little robot legs and an ass that's not equipped for an adult diet! ''(The robot legs break and Homer falls over)''
'''Lisa:''' Dad, dad, dad! You're not a robot! ''(Homer wakes up to find he's in bed and the whole family is next to him)'' You're just possessed by the devil.
'''Priest:''' The power of Christ compels thee! ''(Throws a drop of holy water on Homer's head. Homer goes insane and his head keeps rotating as he climbs the wall and onto the ceiling)''
'''Marge:''' I'll call work and tell them he can't make it.
'''Homer:''' Woo-hoo! ''(falls onto the bed on his belly with his head pointing to the ceiling)'' He, he, he. Suckers.

== Survival of the Fattest ==
'''Burns' invitation:''' Mr. Burns is inviting you to a hunting party. ''(sinister laugh)''
----
'''Lisa:''' Don't accept this invitation dad. Hunting is cruel!
'''Homer:''' Lisa, animals don't feel death. That was proven by the scientists at Black Angus!
'''Bart:''' No fair! Dad gets to kill wild animals, but I shoot one bird and I have to go to a psychiatrist!
'''Marge:''' He still thinks that hobo was a bird.
----
'''Burns:''' Now, since I am so kind, I will give you a five minutes' head-start. You may commence running!
'''Comic Book Guy:''' Five minutes of running? Just shoot me now! ''(Burns does so)''
'''Burns:''' Well, that broke the ice. Whoever lives to noon tomorrow shall win his freedom!
'''Blue-Haired Lawyer:''' Excuse me. What gives you the right to do this?
'''Burns:''' You tell me. You are my lawyer.
'''Lawyer:''' Well, you are zoned for hunting and you claim killing humans is part of your religion. I think I can write something up. ''(cut to the Lawyer on a typewriter)'' There. This should work in just about any courtroom.
'''Burns:''' Excellent. ''(kills the lawyer)''
----
'''Burns:''' I smell fear, mixed with curry.
----
'''Apu:''' ''(after getting shot by Burns)'' Ah,you got me. But I shall be reincarnated. ''(dies, then a rabbit with Apu's face appears)''
'''Rabbit Apu:''' Ha, ha! You can't kill a Hindu! ''(his foreleg gets caught in a bear trap)'' Ah! Help me Jesus!
----
:''[Homer running away from Burns while Burns is shooting him. A TV show logo appears.]''
'''Logo:''' "The World Series of Manslaughter"
'''TV Announcer:''' You're watching the World Sseries of Manslaughter! The most violent spectacle since the Hip-Hop image awards!
:''(Lisa and Marge watching TV.)''
'''Lisa:''' Mom! Mr. Burns is going to kill Dad!
'''Marge:''' I should have known something was wrong when we got this week's TV guide. ''(Holds up the TV guide with a picture of Homer running away from Burns.)''
'''TV Guide:''' Must Flee TV.
----
'''TV Announcer:''' And here with his take on tonight's bloodthirsty action, here's guest Terry Bradshaw. Terry.
'''Terry Bradshaw:''' Well conventional wisdom says "Good fleeing will always mean good chasing" BUT the stats say "Put your money on the guy with the gun"!
:''[Krusty being chased by Burns in the background and gets shot]''
'''Krusty:''' Dying is just like golfing, except in golf - ''(Burns keeps shooting Krusty)''
'''Terry Bradshaw:''' Aw, you hate to see that. That's the kind of showboating that'll put people off this sport!
----
'''Moe:''' (impaled on a weathervane) Well, before I die, I'll scratch off that lottery ticket I bought. ''(does so)'' Instant winner? One million dollars!? Boy, if I ever get out alive... ''(gets crushed by Wiggum)''
----
'''Lenny:''' (after getting shot by Burns' plane) Carl, I see [[Heaven]].
'''Carl:''' What does it look like?
''(we then see Lenny's vision: a Heaven with thousands of angels who look like Carl)''
'''Carl angels:''' Hurry up, Lenny. We'll be late for work at the plant! ''(Lenny dies happily)''

== I've Grown a Costume on Your Face ==
'''Mayor Quimby:''' And our finalist, Blacula.
'''Dr. Hibbert:''' Good lord! Just because I'm black and I'm dressed as Count Dracula that makes me Blacula? My wife told me not to go as Count Dracula but I say "Bernice, we live the 21st century times have changed".
'''Quimby:''' (to bodyguard) Get him the standard racial apology letter. It's in the middle drawer.
----
'''Apu:''' Sucker! 25 dollars won't buy you a Balance bar! I exaggerate, but my prices are very high.
----
'''Mayor Quimby:''' (to the witch) Now, which one of our beloved regulars are you? Lindsey Naegle? Helen Lovejoy? Old Jewish Man?
'''Old Jewish Man:''' No, I'm here. I'm dressed as my brother Ivan. Everyday I miss him.
'''Witch:''' Well, this is a little bit awkward, because I am not wearing a costume. I'm a real witch! ''(everyone gasps)''
'''Carl:''' Wait a minute. That's cheating!
'''Sideshow Mel:''' Burn her! ''(pauses)'' ... gift certificate!
----
'''Mayor Quimby:''' since you are not technically in costume you can't win this award.
----
'''Witch:''' Rescind my award will you you're all going to pay.
----
'''Witch''': Taint of Mutant, scum uponed, thou shall become the guise thou donned!
----
'''Carl:''' Speak English you moron.
'''Witch:'''I am turning you into your costumes.
----
'''Witch:''' Good luck getting your deposits back on those costumes!
----
'''Grandpa:''' Look at me! I'm a hip, young, strapping gorilla! ''(Starts swinging from the telephone wires, but misses one wire and falls down, hurting himself. Dr. Dracula appears)''
'''Dr. Dracula:''' Off we go to the gorilla hospital. ''(they fly off)''
'''Grandpa:''' That's it, suck the poison out. Hey wait a minute. ''(screams)''
----
'''Disco Stu (who went as [[wikipedia:Steve Martin|Steve Martin]]):''' Disco Stu wishes he'd gone as Marilyn McCoo.
----
'''[[Mayor Quimby|Mayor Quimby McCheese]]:''' ''(Being eaten by the dogs)'' I am not a Happy Meal right now.
----
'''Lisa Einstein:''' ''(German accent)'' Ach! Zer must be some way out of zis ''verdammten'' spell.
'''Marge:''' Lisa, you think you can check on your father?
'''Lisa:''' Oh, zat is an excellent use of a genius brain, to look after an idiot head.
----
'''[[Lisa Simpson|Lisa Einstein]]:''': *gasp* zats de answer, Maggie's a veal vitch now, she can veverse the spell!
:''(Werebart growls and jumps on the table)''
'''WereBart:''' I don't want to reverse the spell, I can howl at the moon and eat rats ''(eats a rat and howls)''
----
'''[[Apu|Apu-D2]]:''' As for Apu-D2, I can go both ways. Beep, boop, beep, click, click.
----
'''Moe:''' ''(after being turned into a giant pacifier)'' Oh. Well I Guess It's still better than being Moe.
----
'''Moe:''' ''(to viewers)'' Okay that concludes this years Halloween show We hope you had as much fun watching' our show as the Koreans did animating' it.
----
'''Moe:''' Dennis Rodman! What are you doing here?
'''Dennis Rodman:''' Working off a speeding ticket.

{{Season 17|Q}}

Milhouse of Sand and Fog/Quotes

2019-10-20T05:32:54Z

2F13: formatting, linking

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Girl Who Slept Too Little|Treehouse of Horror XVI}}

{{qf|[[Marge]]}} [[Maggie]], that's not what you do with a hymn book! ''[sees Homer flossing his teeth with a Bible's bookmark]'' Homer!
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} What? I forgot to floss today.
----
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} We tried to break up ''your'' parents and we broke up ''mine''!
{{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} Wanna call my therapist and tell her how you feel? ''[dials into his cell phone]'' Hello, Dr. Wexler?
{{qf|[[Dr. Wexler]]}} ''[over phone]'' Stop calling me! I'm on my honeymoon! ''[to her husband]'' Yeah, it's that weird kid again.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Fifteen dollars to infect your kids! Now featuring the Pox box! ''[disclaimer fast]'' Pox Box not recommended for pregnant or nursing women. As with any disease box, results may vary. ''[normal]'' Pox box!
----
{{qf|Bart}} I'd pay you a kajillion dollars for you and Marge to get together again.
{{qf|Homer}} ''[thinks]'' Make it 2 kajillion.
{{qf|Marge}} Homer!
{{qf|Homer}} We'll lose the first kajillion to taxes.
----
{{qf|Milhouse}} I don't want to live in a world without Bart! ''[jumps down a cliff into the water]''
{{qf|Marge}} Can he swim?
{{qf|Bart}} ''[cool]'' What do you think?

{{Season 17|Q}}

The Girl Who Slept Too Little/Quotes

2019-10-20T05:28:21Z

2F13: formatting, linking

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Bonfire of the Manatees|Milhouse of Sand and Fog}}

{{qf|[[Ned Flanders]]}} ''[awakened by stamp museum construction]'' It's seven A.M.! What are they cock-a-doodley-doing?
----
:''[Walking through the cemetery, Lisa tries to talk herself out of being scared.]''
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} If {{w|Scooby-Doo|''Scooby-Doo''}} has taught me anything, it's that the only thing to fear are crooked real estate developers.
----
{{qf|Lisa}} There's no such thing as zombies.
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} I'm glad to hear you say that, because the one who doesn't believe in zombies is always the first to get feasted upon.
----
{{qf|[[Alexander Graham Bell]]}} I'm Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone.
{{qf|[[Elisha Gray]]}} You stole it from me, Elisha Gray.
{{qf|Alexander Graham Bell}} Read the patent number, bitch!
----
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} That [[Dr. Hibbert]] was so boring! "Homer, we've got to get that lump checked out", "Homer, we must discuss your test results", "Homer, we've gotta find you a donor." Blah, blah, blah.
----
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Hmmm, this is a little too spooky for me. I don't even like watching the Count on [[Sesame Street]].
{{qf|[[Count von Count]]}} ''[on "Sesame Street" that Maggie is watching]'' One coconut. Two coconuts. Three coconuts! ''[laughs]''
{{qf|Marge}} Go back to your own country!
----
{{qf|Homer}} I can't believe it took us forty minutes to get here. Why can't they build a stamp museum closer to our house?
{{qf|Lisa}} Dad, you fought tooth and nail to get it away from our house.
{{qf|Homer}} Lisa, when you have as many concussions as I have, consistency is … something, something … I love you, Bart.
----
{{qf|[[Lou]]}} ''[to Eddie]'' I actually got into law school... I just couldn't afford it.
{{qf|[[Eddie]]}} Quiet. I hear something.
{{qf|Lou}} Yeah, that's my life slipping away.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Two! Four! Six! Eight! I hate stamps! They aren't great! ''[there's no reaction from the protesting people]'' Okay... How about this? Seven! Four! Three! One! Oh wait, that's my PIN number. Everyone forget that! ''[everyone writes down Homer's PIN number]''
----
{{qf|Marge}} What if we show Lisa we can sleep in her room without being frightened?
{{qf|Homer}} ''[suggestively]'' Ok, Marge. But don't be surprised if a "Snuggle Monster" shows up.
{{qf|Marge}} Well, I hope he's accompanied by the "How Was Your Day Monster", and the "Footrub Monster", and the "Let Me Just"...
{{qf|Homer}} ''[flatly]'' Don't worry, he's not showin' up.
----
{{qf|Marge}} '[[to Lisa]'' Tonight I want you to really try to sleep in your own bed, because it… ''[Homer is flying a remote control helicopter around Marge's head]'' Homer, stop that!
{{qf|Homer}} There's a little plastic man in your hair, and I'm trying to rescue him. ''[salutes]'' No soldier left behind.
----
{{qf|Homer}} We're back in the only safe bedroom in the house.
{{qf|Lisa}} What about Bart's room?
{{qf|Homer}} You know that racecar bed I made him?
{{qf|Lisa}} Yeah.
{{qf|Homer}} The brakes are shot! ''[scene goes to Bart's racecar bed out of control]''
----
:''[After Bart's racecar bed crashes through Homer and Marge's bedroom.]''
{{qf|Homer}} Learn to drive, boy!
----
{{qf|Lisa}} [[Groundskeeper Willie]]?
{{qf|[[Gravedigger Billy]]}} No, I'm his cousin, Gravedigger Billy. I've been digging graves for thirty years and I've never buried anyone alive. If I did they'd ring this bell. (bell rings) Oh, that's just the wind. ''[hand comes out of ground]'' That's just a tree branch... with a nice watch on it! ''[takes the watch and beats the hand with his shovel]''

{{Season 17|Q}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Girl Who Slept Too Little/Quotes}}

The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star/Quotes

2019-09-29T13:03:19Z

2F13: fixing a typo

{{TabQ}}
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Home Away from Homer|The Bonfire of the Manatees}}

:''[Father Sean tells [[Bart]] how he became a priest in a flashback.]''
{{qf|[[Father Sean]]}} ''[after fighting with his father]'' I was laying in the gutter, pickin' up me teeth when St. Peter himself appears before me.
:''[Saint Peter appears.]''
{{qf|[[Saint Peter]]}} Sean, you wanker.
{{qf|Father Sean}} He says.
{{qf|Saint Peter}} Repent of your wicked ways or sod off.
:''[He spits on Father Sean and disappears, revealing he was just a streetlight.]''
{{qf|Father Sean}} Then he gobbed in my face and turned back into a streetlight.

{{Season 16|Q}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star/Quotes}}

Home Away from Homer/Quotes

2019-09-29T13:01:47Z

2F13: formatting

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Thank God It's Doomsday|The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star}}

{{qf|[[Homer]]}} ''[to Flanders]'' You wear a bathing suit in the bathtub?
{{qf|[[Flanders]]}} Yeah! So I can't see my own shrinky-dink!
{{qf|Homer}} Makes sense.
----
{{qf|Flanders}} You softcore sophomores took advantage of my trustful nature! And sullied the Internet by putting pornography on it! Get out!
----
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} I feel so much empathy for those villagers. They had to drink their own tears.
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} I was so bored, I cut the ponytail off of the guy in front of us. ''[holds it to the back his head]'' Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and made $600 last year.
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Bart! Don't make fun of grad students. They just made a terrible life choice.
----
{{qf|Bart}} Mom, I don't want to read, it's the weekend.
----
{{qf|Bart}} I know what we can “Ask Jeeves.” Why does he suck?
----
{{qf|Homer}} Don't worry, I'll straighten things out with [[Clay Roberts|Coach Clay]]. We're good buddies. We play this game called who can punch the softest and he always lets me win.
----
{{qf|Homer}} And the best part is stupid Flanders doesn't even know it's happening in his stupid house; hence my nickname, stupid Flanders.
----
{{qf|Lisa}} You've totally humiliated the best friend the Simpsons ever had.
{{qf|Homer}} You're right, but you know who the real victim is here? Ned.
{{qf|Lisa}} That's what we've been trying to tell you!
----
{{qf|Lady}} Winner of the Romanian Film Festival's Prestigious Golden Bucket... Holy crap, someone's actually calling!
----
{{qf|[[Moe]]}} Homer's the one what wised us up to the sexy goings-on.
{{qf|Flanders}} Homer, is this true?
{{qf|Homer}} Ned, I had no choice. It was just so funny.
----
{{qf|Homer}} Last-diddly-ast? Oh he's gone! And it's all someone's fault!

{{Season 16|Q}}

Home Away from Homer/Quotes

2019-09-29T13:00:17Z

2F13: formatting, linking

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Thank God It's Doomsday|The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star}}

{{qf|[[Homer]]}} ''[to Flanders]'' You wear a bathing suit in the bathtub?
{{qf|[[Flanders]]}} Yeah! So I can't see my own shrinky-dink!
{{qf|Homer}} Makes sense.
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{{qf|Flanders}} You softcore sophomores took advantage of my trustful nature! And sullied the Internet by putting pornography on it! Get out!
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{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} I feel so much empathy for those villagers. They had to drink their own tears.
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} I was so bored, I cut the ponytail off of the guy in front of us. (holds it to the back his head) Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and made $600 last year.
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Bart! Don't make fun of grad students. They just made a terrible life choice.
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{{qf|Bart}} Mom, I don't want to read, it's the weekend.
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{{qf|Bart}} I know what we can “Ask Jeeves.” Why does he suck?
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{{qf|Homer}} Don't worry, I'll straighten things out with [[Clay Roberts|Coach Clay]]. We're good buddies. We play this game called who can punch the softest and he always lets me win.
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{{qf|Homer}} And the best part is stupid Flanders doesn't even know it's happening in his stupid house; hence my nickname, stupid Flanders.
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{{qf|Lisa}} You've totally humiliated the best friend the Simpsons ever had.
{{qf|Homer}} You're right, but you know who the real victim is here? Ned.
{{qf|Lisa}} That's what we've been trying to tell you!
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{{qf|Lady}} Winner of the Romanian Film Festival's Prestigious Golden Bucket... Holy crap, someone's actually calling!
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{{qf|[[Moe]]}} Homer's the one what wised us up to the sexy goings-on.
{{qf|Flanders}} Homer, is this true?
{{qf|Homer}} Ned, I had no choice. It was just so funny.
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{{qf|Homer}} Last-diddly-ast? Oh he's gone! And it's all someone's fault!

{{Season 16|Q}}

A Star Is Torn/Quotes

2019-09-29T12:48:50Z

2F13: formatting

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The Heartbroke Kid|Thank God It's Doomsday}}

{{qf|[[Bart]]}} From now on, I'm only eating food that I know had a soul.
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{{qf|[[Homer]]}} He's about to learn the most important lesson in the music business: don't trust people in the music business.
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{{qf|Homer}} ''[to Lisa]'' Do you know how many hours I had to work? How many people I had to yell at? How many tires I had to slash?
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} No one told you to yell and slash!
{{qf|Homer}} It's called schmoozing!
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{{qf|Homer}} We're going to write and sing our way out of this God-forsaken hell hole.
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} But your song said you liked [[Springfield]]?
{{qf|Homer}} I wrote it about [[Shelbyville]], then changed the names.
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{{qf|Homer}} ''[to Lisa]'' The song I wrote for you is so schmaltzy it makes "Moon River" sound like a farting orangutan.
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:''[While Apu is being robbed.]''
{{qf|[[Apu]]}} Call the police.
{{qf|Homer}} I need change for a dollar.
{{qf|Apu}} No change without purchase.
{{qf|Homer}} What's the cheapest thing you've got.
{{qf|Apu}} A 2-ounce pack of chips. $5.99.
{{qf|Homer}} $5.99, what a rip-off! Someone should shoot you.
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{{qf|[[Krusty]]}} Every week, we eliminate one contestant based on the votes cast by you, the audience.
{{qf|TV announcer}} Disclaimer: All ballots were lost and vote totals made up.
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{{qf|[[Krusty's Li'l Starmaker]] commercial announcer}} We're not affiliated with ''[[American Idol]]''. We've never even heard of American Idol.
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{{qf|Lisa}} That's [[Cameron]]. Girls go crazy over him. He's cute, unthreatening, and his smile brought a puppy back to life.

{{Season 16|Q}}