A Tale of Two Springfields/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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"A Tale of Two Springfields"
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- Bart: Come on, Lis', there's gotta be a way to lure that badger out.
- Lisa: Well, according to 'whatbadgerseat.com', Badgers subsist primarily on a diet of stoats, voles, and marmots.
- Bart: Hmm, stoats, stoats..
- Lisa: Stoats are weasels, Bart. They don't come in cans.
- Bart: Oh yeah, then what's this? [shows Lisa a corn can]
- Lisa: That says corn, Bart.
- Homer: I think we should call a doctor about this [lifts his shirt, revealing all his internal organs on the outside]
- Lisa: How did the Badger do that without ripping your shirt!?
- Homer: What am I, a tailor?
- Homer: Area code!? But it's a local call.
- Marge: The phone company ran out of numbers, so they split the city into two area codes. Half the town keeps the old 636 area code, and our half gets 939.
- Homer: 939!!!?? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!? Oh my life is ruined.
- Marge: Geez, you just have to remember three extra numbers.
- Homer: Oh if only it were that easy Marge.
- Kent Brockman: Scientists say they're also less attractive physically, and while we speak in a well-educated manner they tend to use lowbrow expressions like "Oh Yeah" and "C'mere a Minute".
- Homer: Oh yeah? They think they're better than us? Bart, C'mere a minute!
- Bart: You c'mere a minute!
- Homer: Oh yeah?
- Homer: But those Old Springfield squares are just going to make you cut your hair, turn down your music, and wear frilly shirts like Keith Partridge.
- Roger: Keith Partridge? Who huddle.
- [The band huddles to talk things over.]
- John: We'll do it!
- Bart: Yeah! [Homer and Bart high-five]
- John: Just send the car for us.
- Homer: What, something wrong with your legs?
- Roger: You're right. The walk will do us good
- Kent Brockman: The Who will be playing tonight at Springfield's historic Yahoo Search Engine Arena.
- [Armed with a bottle of chloroform, Homer approaches a security guard.]
- Homer: I'll give you this bottle of chloroform if you take us to The Who!
- Homer: Badger my ass, it's probably Milhouse.
- Krusty: I opened for The Who at Woodstock. I came out with a Beatle wig and a ukulele. Hendrix said he almost plotzed. His exact words.
- Sideshow Mel: [sarcastically] I never tire of THAT story.
- Moe: Enough chit-chat, let's see how you like flaming garbage!
- Moe: Homer's right! We're gettin' the Joan Collins special!
- Homer: I can't believe all those rats fled my town. Guess it's just us and the tumbleweed...
