Grampa Simpson's Great Sandwich Caper!/Quotes


 * Grampa: So where was I?
 * Lisa: [SIGH] You were telling us about a sandwich you ate back in 1956...
 * Grampa: Right! Well, I didn't have any money, so I traded my shoelaces for it! Granted, I wasn't wearing shoelaces at the time... ...so I borrowed some from a friendly hobo.
 * Bart: Ugh. When is mom going to pick us up?
 * Lisa: She's shopping for some skinny jeans that actually fit dad... sot it could be hours!


 * Grampa: And that ends the tale of the turkey sandwich. The end! [SNORE!]
 * Lisa: Guess he was destined to tell that sandwich story.
 * Bart: At least it's over!


 * Deondre the Giant: Abe, there are thing in life that are worth fighting for! Things like family! Not a sandwich!
 * Grampa: You're one wise giant, fella!
 * Deondre the Giant: [MUNCH!]
 * Grampa: And then i realized that a ham sandwich isn't worth fighting over. But a turkey sandwich definitely is.


 * Grampa: A lot of famous people came into the club my favorite was probably Cannonball Adderley!
 * Lisa: The famous Jazz saxophonist?! I never knew that!
 * Grampa: Oh, yes! Cannonball came in all the time!


 * Lisa: Enough! I can't take this anymore! Grampa, I appreciate that you want to share your history with us. But none of this ever happened!!
 * Grampa: [SIGH] You'r right, Lisa. I guess I tell stories to that maybe you'll stick around. I thought you kids would want to spend more time with me if I my stories were as entertaining as possible.