Sales lady

"Your baby is dead! That's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of deathtraps lurking in the average American home."

- Sales lady

The sales lady (real name not known; also called the Baby-Proofing Saleswoman) is a salesperson who works for Springfield Baby-Proofing. She visited the Simpson home and gave her presentation to Homer and Marge, but failed to make a sale.

History
The Sales Lady relies on shock value and role-playing to make her pitch, as seen during her visit to the Simpson home. When Marge and Homer answered the door, the Sales lady greeted them by saying, "Your baby is dead!" Marge and Homer gasped in shock, and the Sales Lady added, "That's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of deathtraps lurking in the average American home."

After Marge and Homer recovered from the shock, the Sales Lady gave them her business card and apologized for scaring them. But she repeated the "shock pitch" by saying, "Your baby, Maggie Simpson, is dead! Dead tired of baby-proofers who don't provide a free estimate. Let's start in the kitchen." She then walked right in, without waiting for an invitation. When she got to the kitchen, the Sales Lady put on a baby bonnet and started crawling around on the floor, pretending to be a baby exploring. Her performance prompted Homer to observe, "That's a pretty big caboose for a baby." Marge started to shush Homer, but after taking a look for herself, she agreed with him.

Meanwhile, the Sales Lady opened the cupboards under the sink, said "Pwetty colors!" and grabbed a plastic bottle, intending to show how a baby would be attracted to something hazardous. After a long struggle (during which she had to stand up, turn on the faucet and run water over the bottle in the sink to loosen the cap), she finally got it open, only to find that the "hazard" was infant formula. Marge then looked dubious, but Homer was still impressed until she gave him her estimate. When the Sales Lady totaled up the figure on her clipboard, she exclaimed, "Wow! I'm rich!" Homer grabbed the clipboard from her to see the amount for himself. The figure wasn't revealed, but when Homer saw it, he bodily kicked the Sales Lady out of the house, telling her, "We don't need your high-priced safety junk!" He remained unmoved, even when the Sales Lady caught Maggie when she fell from an upstairs window.

Even though Homer didn't make a purchase, the Sales Lady's presentation made an impression on him. He decided to baby-proof the Simpson home himself, and was so pleased with the results that he decided to go into business on his own as a baby-proofer.