Treehouse of Horror II/Quotes

Homer, where'd you get the monkey's paw? I got it from the stand... over... there.
 * [Points to an empty space. A gust of wind is blowing sand around.]

Oh, wait. It's over there. You will be sorry.

They constructed a board with a nail in it, but they won't stop there. They'll construct bigger boards with bigger nails, and then they'll construct a board with a nail in it so large, it will destroy them all...


 * [Mr. Burns has kicked the robot, causing it to fall and crush him.]

Have trouble breathing... organs leaking vital fluids... Smithers... I am going to die. No! Cannot anything be done?! We have one chance. Go to my office... open the desk... third drawer... there is some ether. [wakes up and screams] Did you have a nightmare, Homey? No, Bart bit me. Hey, man, you were crushing me. I tried to scream, but my was full of flab.
 * [Homer awakens and enters bathroom. He turns on light to see a scary reflection in mirror.]

AUGH! Perhaps you are curious as to why you have two heads. Well, my body was crushed, so I had my head grafted onto your, shall we say, ample frame. [trying to stay calm] I can wake up. It's all a dream. It's just a dream. Oh, that's right. It's all a dream... Or is it? [laughs diabolically] [Executive Producer credit appears]
 * [Fade to black, then Simpsons jingle plays.]

Next week, on The Simpsons...
 * [Kitchen. Simpsons family is eating breakfast.]

[puts down the newspaper] Don't forget, Dad, tonight my class is an all-you-can-eat spaghetti dinner. Mmm... spaghetti. [his head attached to Homer's shoulder] But Homer, tonight's reception for Queen Beatrix of The Netherlands! Oh, I hate having two heads.