The Beer Boys/Quotes


 * Homer: I'm feeling low, Apu. Give me a pepperoni-flavored skinny tinny, pepperoni-flavored sheep rinds, some pepperoni nuggets, and a slice of plain cheese pizza.
 * Apu: I am afraid I cannot honor that request.
 * Homer: But... you... me... hungry.
 * Apu: If we do not exercise our rights, we lost the. So, I periodically refuse to serve riff-raff.
 * Homer: I'm not riff-raff.
 * Apu: Riffy-raff, sad-sack, goose egg--- it its a matter of semantics.


 * Marge: You're going to run a bar? I'm not sure I want you doing that.
 * Homer: All right, that does it...


 * Lenny: Remember when we used to be the ones pulling the beer tap, fellas?
 * Barney: Those were the best days of my life.
 * Carl: Maybe those days don't have to end. I've got an idea....
 * Homer: I'm way ahead of you. We kidnap Moe, keep him in a tiny, underground cage, feeding him tiny pellets of vegetable protein... ...just enough to keep him alive, and we continue running his bar!
 * Carl: Actually, I was thinking of opening our own bar, but your idea's good too, Homer.
 * Moe: They're both stupid ideas. If you guys opened a bar, you'd lose your shirts. And as for kidnapping me. The cage hasn't been built that can hold Szyslak... ...as I Think both the Vietcong and the Canadian customs service can testify.


 * Moe: Hey, Homer, nice place you got here. Nobody's passed out in their own sick or nothin'.
 * Homer: Well, well, if is isn't Moe. The guy who said I'd lose my shirt. I still have my shirt, Moe,. and I'm going to but more shirts. I'm going to buy a shirt made of solid gold. And gold moth balls, to keep it nice.
 * Moe: Ah, it's great to see you doing so will, Homer. It's obvious you've never been so happy or fulfilled in your entire life. And what I'd like to suggest is that you quit it.
 * Homer: Oh, I get it. Sunning scared, eh?
 * Moe: Scared? I ain't never been scared in my life.. Except by those stick people in "Blair Witch," and I was gonna throw those pants away, anyhow. But if you don't want to quit all nice and peaceful-like, I can play it that way, too.


 * Moe: It worked like a charm, Marge. We just had to remind him how much he loves this place, and he came crawling back.
 * Marge: I'm not completely happy that he'll be spending all his time here gain, but at least he'll be back to his old self. Just promise me that you'll send him home occasionally.
 * Moe: I will, Marge. I will.