A Tree Grows in Springfield/Quotes


 * Lisa: I bought you a ticket for the myPad raffle, Dad.
 * Homer: Aw, that's Tooth Fairy money down the drain, sweetie. I never win anything. It's always some stupid jerk you've never heard of.
 * Seymour Skinner: And the winner is...
 * Homer: Here it comes...
 * Seymour Skinner: Homer Simpson!
 * Homer: Get him! I mean, woo-hoo!


 * Steve Mobbs: Greetings, I am Steve Mobbs, welcoming you from beyond the grave.
 * Homer: I left a half-eaten apple outside your store the greatest tribute of all.
 * Steve Mobbs: The product you hold is like a giant expensive smartphone that can't call anyone-- it's that incredible. Now press the "submit" icon, and agree to buy all our future products. And we're gonna be making a lot of stuff. Submit. Submit.
 * Homer: I don't know, I...
 * Steve Mobbs: Submit.
 * Homer: I don't want to.
 * Steve Mobbs: Or you could buy something from Hewlett-Packard.
 * Homer: I submit! I submit!
 * Steve Mobbs: Yes. Yes...


 * Marge: Homie, you want to read to Maggie before she goes to sleep?
 * Homer: A paper-based read-a-majig? What are we, cavemen? Sweetie, in the future all you'll need is this.
 * Marge: Homie... it looks like you're putting all your eggs in one basket.
 * Homer: What would you have me do? One basket for each egg?
 * Marge: Hmm, I guess you're right. I guess I'll have to scratch that off the list of things I say.
 * Homer: Now, Maggie, let's find a good game for us.


 * Dr. Hibbert: Homer, you're gonna be fine, but there's no hope for the myPad.
 * Homer: It still had 88% of its charge.
 * Dr. Hibbert: This is the part of the job I hate most. Talking to crazy people.


 * Marge: Who do you think painted the word on the tree?
 * Homer: No idea-- the important thing is that they did. Guess it must've been the person who knew I needed hope most of all.