Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes/Quotes

(Principal Skinner treats Superintendent Chalmers to dinner at his home.)
 * Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour, those string beans were cooked to perfection. After 20 years, I am finally starting to like you.
 * Principal Skinner: Just wait for dessert, sir. I made it with you in mind.
 * Superintendent Chalmers: Outstanding. I'll just shut my eyes and let you place it before me.

(Selma's erotic cake accidentally flies in through the window and lands on the table in front of Chalmers and Skinner and the two recoil in horror when they see it.)
 * Agnes: (from upstairs) Seymour! What's going on? I'm coming down there!
 * Superintendent Chalmers: Quick! We'll have to eat from each end. We'll know we're safe when our lips meet in the middle.


 * Judge Snyder: Bail is set at $25,000.
 * Homer: (scoffs) I make that in a year.


 * Marge: This was such a pleasant St. Patrick's day until the Irish people showed up.


 * Mayor Quimby: Greetings, fellow Irishmen and lady-Irishmen!
 * Ned Flanders: (finishes the last verse in the Old Testament while Homer looks very bored as they are stuck in the hardened cement) Whoo! I didn't know I had memorized the entire Old Testement! Well, you know what they say, out with the old and in with the new! Testament, that is! (begins to recite the New Testament when Chief Wiggum and the police show up)
 * Chief Wiggum: Well, Simpson looks like for you and you little friend's mayhem, you're going to jail for six weeks! (other police officers put handcuffs on Ned [who is still reciting the New Testament] and Homer and other officers get out jackhammers to get them out)
 * Homer: (nervously looks at Ned's reciting; begs) Make it a lifetime, and you got a deal!
 * Homer: (nervously looks at Ned's reciting; begs) Make it a lifetime, and you got a deal!