Midday on the Midway/Quotes


 * Bart: Good afternoon, my good man. I'm here to outwit your robot.
 * Professor Frink: Oh, really?! So, you actually believe that you, a mere child, can defeat my all new, infallibily accurate, state of the art estimatron 3000 with it's inhuman ability to measure the desnity of a human molecule to within the weight of a single electro particle? [NG-HEY]
 * Bart: Sounds like a hunk of junk. How does it work?
 * Professor Frink: First, you simply stand in front of the robot and place your money in its hand. Within seconds it will scan your body and emit a ticker tape with your exact weight. Then you just step on this antique carnival scale and compare your weight with the print out from the Estimatron 3000.
 * Bart: Then what?
 * Professor Frink: If the weight from the scale matches the weight taken by the estimatron, and it will, then I take your money and buy a tasty lunch of cotton candy, corn dogs, and orange soda pop!
 * Bart: What if the weights don't match?
 * Professor Frink: Then I double your money and eat the boring lunch of soy protein patties and carrot stickes that my wife packed for me.


 * Bart: Check it out, Lisa. Who would have gussed that the Springfield Fair would turn out to be so dangerously cool?
 * Lisa: Believe it or not, Bart, the only thing truly dangerous at this fari is you!


 * Bart: [SIGH] I guess I'll never get to see any real side-show freaks here in Springfield.
 * Lisa: Oh, I don't know, Bart. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Who knows who you'll bump into next?


 * Bart: C'mon, Lisa. This is sooo boring. You've been riding that dumb old pony for over two hours now. How long do you plan to keep this up?
 * Lisa: What's the matter, Bart? Are your sorry you used all of your money to buy junk food and play games until you were completely broke and unable to do anything but sit there and whine you do every time we go to the fair?
 * Bart: Hey! Why don't you be the greatest sister ever and give your big brother some of your money? You always have plenty left over.
 * Lisa: Not this year, Bart. I spent it all here so I could ride continually until closing time. You know how much I love ponies!


 * Comic Book Guy: This year's award for best costume goes to Homer Simpson for his spectacular king Squealie outfit. If I didn't know better, I'd swer that our fair mascot was sitting right here just waiting to be turned into delicious pork productts. I award you this check for $500. Congratulations.
 * Homer: Huh?