Everybody Hates Ned Flanders (Medley)

"Everybody Hates Ned Flanders (Medley)" is a track from The Simpsons: Testify. It is the seventeenth track on the album and consists of the songs "Christmas in December", "Flanders is His Name", "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders", "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders (William Shatner's version)" and "El Hombre Estupido" from the episode "Dude, Where's My Ranch?".

Christmas in December

 * Homer:
 * Christmas in December!
 * Wow, wow, wow!
 * Give me tons of presents
 * Now, now, now!


 * Ned Flanders:
 * Hey, hey, Homer! Writing a new Christmas carol?


 * Homer:
 * Maybe.


 * Flanders:
 * Well, the Bible says it's fun to do stuff together.


 * There's a stranger in the manger,
 * And his name is love.


 * Take it, Homer.


 * [Homer shoves Flanders outside]


 * Oh, I got it. You want me to stay out here and work on the chorus.


 * Homer:
 * Flanders, I am a patient, reasonable, handsome man. But even I have my limits.  Now beat it!


 * [Homer attempts to spray Flanders with water from the garden hose but the water ends up freezing]


 * Flanders:
 * Why, thank you, Homer. It's a Popsicle and my favorite flavor: plain.


 * [Flanders breaks off a piece and licks it, Homer gets furious and accidentally sprays and freezes himself]

Flanders is His Name

 * Homer:
 * Lousy no good—How'm I supposed to write a song with that stupid jerk bothering me all the time and—? Wait a minute.


 * [plays three notes on the piano]


 * Everybody in the U.S.A.
 * Hates their stupid neighbor,
 * He's Flanders and he's really, really lame.


 * Flanders tried to wreck my song,
 * His views on birth control are wrong.
 * I hate his guts and Flanders is his name.


 * Homer, Lenny and Carl:
 * F-L-A-N-R-D-S!


 * Homer:
 * He's the man that I hate best!
 * I'd like to see his house go up in flames!


 * [cheering]

Everybody Hates Ned Flanders

 * Excuse me, I've been researching indigenous folk music of Springfield, and I couldn't help overhearing your delightfully cruel hate song.
 * Excuse me, I've been researching indigenous folk music of Springfield, and I couldn't help overhearing your delightfully cruel hate song.


 * Carl:
 * David Byrne?!


 * Moe Szyslak:
 * Singer, artist, composer, director, Talking Head...


 * David Byrne:
 * And, I used to wrestle under the name "El Diablo."


 * Lenny:
 * I thought that was Philip Glass.


 * David Byrne:
 * Yeah, he wishes.


 * Homer:
 * Hey, Mister? If you like my song so much, would you like to buy a tape? It's already rewound.


 * David Byrne:
 * No thanks. But I would like to sing it with you and produce it.


 * Homer:
 * Fine.


 * Lenny and Carl:
 * F-L-A,


 * Homer:
 * His name is Ned!


 * Lenny and Carl:
 * E-R-S,


 * Homer:
 * That's a stupid name!
 * It's worse than Frankenstein,
 * Or Dr. No!


 * David Byrne:
 * You can't upset him even slightly,
 * He just smiles and nods politely,
 * Then goes home and worships nightly,
 * His Leftorium is an emporium of woe!


 * Lenny and Carl:
 * F-L-A,


 * Homer:
 * [mocking tone] Don't yell at Ned!


 * Lenny and Carl:
 * D-E-R,


 * Homer:
 * His wife is dead!
 * Everybody hates that stupid jerk!


 * David Byrne:
 * Springfield rocks with Homer's joyous loathing,
 * Filling clubs with angry Valentinos.
 * You don't have to move your feet,
 * Just hate Flanders to the disco beat.


 * Homer and David Byrne:
 * He's your perky, peppy, nightmare neighborino!


 * Homer, David and Ned:
 * If you despise polite left-handers,
 * Then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders
 * Or his creepy little offspring, Rod and Todd.


 * Audience:
 * F-L-A!


 * Apu:
 * His name is Ned!


 * Audience:
 * E-R-S!


 * Apu:
 * He is so white bread!


 * Homer and Choir:
 * The smiling moustache geek who walks with God!


 * Reverend Lovejoy:
 * Mass dismissed.

William Shatner's Version

 * We're half-way through our same song six-pack!
 * We're half-way through our same song six-pack!


 * Marty:
 * Now let's hear William Shatner's version of "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders"!


 * Marge:
 * Another cover? My God, let it die.


 * William Shatner:
 * Everybody...
 * In the U.S...
 * A...
 * Hates... their...
 * Stupid... neighbor...
 * He's the Flanders... man...
 * The Flanders, man...
 * Flanders...


 * Marge:
 * I am so sick of that song!


 * Homer:
 * Me too -- I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.

El Hombre Estupido

 * Homer:
 * This dude ranch is gonna be great. A whole week without hearing that stupid song.


 * David Byrne:
 * You won't think it's stupid when you hear the Extended Salsa Mix!


 * ¡No nos gusta Flanders!
 * ¡Es un hombre estúpido!
 * ¡No nos gusta Flanders!


 * Marge:'
 * Watch it, Mr. Byrne! You'll slip on the Simoniz!


 * David Byrne:
 * Simoniz?


 * Moe:
 * Woah. Woah!


 * David Byrne:
 * Can you take me to the hospital?


 * Moe:
 * Yeah, no problem.

Behind the Laughter
The track listing for The Simpsons: Testify has different names for the songs than the episode credits, missing out "Christmas in December" and calling "El Hombre Estupido" the Salsa Version.