Henry VIII

"My whole life I was looking for that one woman whose execution could bring me happiness. Now I realize I was just beheading myself for divorcing you."

- Henry VIII, talking to Margarine of Aragon

Henry VIII was the King of England and Ireland.

History
King Henry VIII desperately wanted a son to be his heir. He spoke about this to his wife, Margarine of Aragon, in front of the royal court. That night, Henry VIII dreamed of Prince Bart, the son he wanted. One day at court, Henry VIII met Anne Boleyn, who told him that she had child-bearing hips. After a trip to a marriage counselor, Henry VIII decided to get a divorce from Margarine to marry Anne Boleyn in an attempt to have a son. However, Sir Thomas More, the lord chancellor, told him that the church wouldn't allow that. So, Henry VIII decided to make his own church that would allow it.

After getting a divorce, and losing control of Ireland in the process, Henry VIII got married to Anne Boleyn and had sex on the floor of the church with her. Nine months later, Anne Boleyn had a daughter so Henry VIII had her executed. Later, he met Jane Seymour and got married to her. However, after hearing her voice he also had her executed. Henry VIII then went through at least two other wives before getting married to Anne of Cleves for her track record of producing sons. He then soon had her executed too.

On his death bed, Margarine of Aragon went to see him one last time. Henry VIII told her that he felt bad for divorcing her and wanted her back. Margarine then grabbed his pillow and suffocated him to death.

Mr. Burns lists Henry VIII as one of the authority figures whom he likes to portray in costume.