From Here to Infirmity

"From Here to Infirmity" is an old black-and-white commercial starring Itchy & Scratchy. Homer and Marge watched it at the Totally Sick, Twisted, F***ed-Up Animation Festival.

Plot
Itchy and Scratchy are making out on the beach (with Scratchy dressed as a 1940s-style bathing beauty). Itchy drags a shark out of the water and puts it on top of Scratchy. Unaware of the switch, Scratchy continues with the make-out session, eyes closed as he passionately kisses the shark. Scratchy happens to touch the shark's teeth, opens his eyes, sees the shark, and starts screaming. The shark then attacks, tearing Scratchy apart, and the director calls out "Aaaaaannnnnnddd ... Cut!"

The cartoon-in-progress then segues into a commercial, with Itchy and Scratchy plugging Laramie Extra-Tar cigarettes. A voice-over narrator asks, "After a tough day on the set, how do Itchy and Scratchy relax?" Itchy answers, "With Laramie Extra-Tar cigarettes!" as his Rochester-esque butler Louie gives him a cigarette. Itchy starts smoking and is quickly joined by Louie and a mutilated Scratchy. Smoke seeps from the stump of Scratchy's left arm as he says, "And now there's more nico-glycerol!" Louie says, "I don't know what's in 'em; I just know I can't stop smokin' 'em!" The trio then have a loud laugh, but are quickly wracked by a smokers' cough and hack up their lungs.