Saint Joseph

Saint Joseph is a figure in the Gospels, the husband of the Virgin Mary and the earthly step father of Jesus Christ.

History
When Homer refused to let her and Joseph into their house when Mary was pregnant, Joseph told Mary to curse them.

Non-canon
After his girlfriend, Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, even though she's a virgin. The angel appears to them and explains that Mary is going to give birth to the Son of God.

At the Bethlehem Inn, the innkeeper tells Mary and Joseph that he has plenty of rooms available with brand new carpeting. However, when Mary's water breaks, he forces them to stay in the barn. Mary successfully gives birth to the baby, and the three wise men, along with the two shepherds come to see Jesus. Joseph is upset because he isn't Jesus' father, and when he drinks some wine, the baby turns it into water.

When Jesus keeps crying, Mary gives him to Joseph. He entertains him by hurting himself and one of the wise men. When Jesus finally falls asleep, Herod and his troops find the manger that they're staying in. They escape and trick the soldiers by putting Jesus' halo on a duck. On top of the hill, Joseph cuts down a pine tree, and as it rolls down, the soldier gets caught in it. The soldiers, along with Herod, are arranged like ornaments on the tree, and the duck, still wearing the halo, stands on top of the tree. Mary calls it a Christmas tree.