Welcome to Moe's

"Welcome to Moe's" is a song sung by Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Moe when Marge was convincing Moe to change his bar into a British pub.

Episode version

 * Marge:
 * This place is a diamond,
 * But it's trapped in the rough.


 * Moe:
 * Yeah, well the sign still says "Moe's",
 * So enough of your guff.


 * Marge:
 * Here's my new idea
 * To sell both beer and grub:
 * We will turn this filthy dive
 * Into a proper old-time British pub.


 * Moe:
 * A British bar?


 * Bart and Lisa:
 * [to the tune of "Rule Brittania"]
 * Darts and meat pies,
 * And lager in pint glasses.
 * What a classy way
 * To get drunk off your asses!


 * Moe:
 * Hey, hold the phone! An English pub! That just might work!


 * All:
 * In song!


 * Moe:
 * Oh, my bar could be British instead of arm-pittish,
 * So why don't we all--
 * Ah, screw it, let's get renovating.

Album version

 * Marge:
 * Maybe some cheerier paint would make this place less of a "dive."


 * Moe:
 * Marge, my customers don't like themselves. Therefore, they seek the darkness.


 * [the patrons moan]


 * Marge:
 * Well... as fabulous as your regulars are, a remodel might bring in a higher class of lush.


 * Moe:
 * Look, I like Moe's the way it is, all right? And I ain't changin' it for any dame, skirt, Susie-Q, or face-macer.


 * Marge:
 * I had a feeling you'd say that. So I prepared something that might help you change your tune.


 * This place is a diamond,
 * But it's trapped in the rough.


 * Moe:
 * Yeah, well the sign still says "Moe's",
 * So enough of your guff.


 * Marge:
 * Here's my new idea
 * To sell both beer and grub:
 * We will turn this filthy dive
 * Into a proper old-time British pub.


 * Moe:
 * A British bar?


 * Bart and Lisa:
 * [to the tune of "Rule Brittania"]
 * Darts and meat pies,
 * And lager in pint glasses.
 * What a classy way
 * To get drunk off your asses!


 * Moe:
 * Hey, hold the phone! An English pub! That just might work!


 * All:
 * In song!


 * Moe:
 * Oh, my bar could be British instead of arm-pittish,
 * So why don't we all--
 * Ah, screw it, let's get renovating.

Behind the Laughter
It is the twenty-fifth track on the album The Simpsons: Testify. Part of the song is set to the tune of "" by.