Home Away from Homer/Quotes

[to Flanders] You wear a bathing suit in the bathtub? Yeah! So I can't see my own shrinky-dink! Makes sense.

You softcore sophomores took advantage of my trustful nature! And sullied the Internet by putting pornography on it! Get out!

I feel so much empathy for those villagers. They had to drink their own tears. I was so bored, I cut the ponytail off of the guy in front of us. [holds it to the back his head] Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and made $600 last year. Bart! Don't make fun of grad students. They just made a terrible life choice.

Mom, I don't want to read, it's the weekend.

I know what we can “Ask Jeeves.” Why does he suck?

Don't worry, I'll straighten things out with Coach Clay. We're good buddies. We play this game called who can punch the softest and he always lets me win.

And the best part is stupid Flanders doesn't even know it's happening in his stupid house; hence my nickname, stupid Flanders.

You've totally humiliated the best friend the Simpsons ever had. You're right, but you know who the real victim is here? Ned. That's what we've been trying to tell you!

Winner of the Romanian Film Festival's Prestigious Golden Bucket... Holy crap, someone's actually calling!

Homer's the one what wised us up to the sexy goings-on. Homer, is this true? Ned, I had no choice. It was just so funny.

Last-diddly-ast? Oh he's gone! And it's all someone's fault!