Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore/Quotes

I'm honored to drink to Apu and… Apulina.

Then, let's just say, I don't care what people think of me anymore. You mean, up until now you did care? Then why did you wear that tutu to school last week? What about all the times I didn't wear a tutu?! Nobody ever brings those up!

[to Milhouse] Wander away from the group? Man, you been huffin' from the Bart bag?

[sprays Bart with the hose] Hahaha! You wet your pants! [appears at the door with wet pants] Shut up, it's a serious problem!

It won't last; brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots, or Welshmen and Scots, or Japanese and Scots, or Scots and other Scots. Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!

Homie? I'd like to know what you've been doing after work. Marge, I'm not gonna lie to you… (pauses then goes back to reading the newspaper)

[thinking to herself] Oh, my God! My brother's my best friend! [thinking to himself] Oh, my God! My sister's my best friend! [thinking to herself] Diamonds! I still can't believe he gave me diamonds! [thinking to himself while looking in the mirror] Mirror, mirror on the wall... who's the baldest of them all?

When a woman says nothing's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off.

[after receiving the diamond earrings] Now we finally have something to put in the wall safe! [opens up the safe, and pulls out a Twinkie] Huh? A Twinkie? I heard if you aged them for 10 years, they turn into liquor!

[to a bum] Hey, I know you. We met in a police lineup. Oh yeah, yeah. You know number 2 and number 4 are an item now. You don't have to tell me, I was number 3.

Coke and Pepsi are the same thing! Wake up, people! [laughs crazily]

[taunting Bart] Springfield baby in a diaper, poked his eye with a windshield wiper.

[to Milhouse] I thought your mom took you away forever. I got a court order bringing him back. The judge said I was the most pathetic person he'd ever seen in court. Pity custody! Boo-yeah!

Since he's been back, Milhouse has had three bloody noses and stepped in dog doo. It's always a party with that guy.


 * [Homer, Lenny and Carl are rolling barrels of nuclear waste]

[singing] Rolling, rolling, rolling! Toxic barrel rolling! [singing] They're so hot and glowing! [singing] We'll die!

Lise, you are so dead. [splashes Lisa and she sprays Bart in the face and he picks up the car sponge] I'm gonna hit you so hard I'll kill your whole family. Bart, you're in my family. Shut up! [throws the car sponge at Lisa and they start laughing and begin splashing each other]