Burns' Bucket List

Burns' Bucket List is a list of thirty things Mr. Burns intends to do "before I depart this earthly realm".

Bucket List

 * 1) Have a hurricane named after me.
 * 2) Develop a fragrance that smells like condescension.
 * 3) Get a tan.
 * 4) Make my first gazillion dollars.
 * 5) Own exclusive rights to the word "excellent."
 * 6) Dance the "Grizzly Bear" with ZaSu Pitts one more time.
 * 7) Discover a way to genetically modify nuclear power.
 * 8) Complete my collection of every existing copy of .
 * 9) Burn every existing copy of Action Comics #1 in front of an audience at San Diego's annual comical booklet convocation.
 * 10) Write a children's book about Loafo, the little circus bear who was shipped for not giving his trainer a full forty hours of adorable bear antics per week.
 * 11) Find a way around the minimum wage.
 * 12) Run with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, carried on piggyback by Smithers.
 * 13) Buy the phrases "global warming" and "climate change" and prevent anyone from using them ever again.
 * 14) Come up with a "Burnsie scheme" to supplant the popular "Ponzi scheme."
 * 15) Enter into a wagering compact with a fellow billionaire to ruin Smithers and elevate a common hoodlum to his position in order to prove something or other.
 * 16) Clone the extinct Tasmanian tiger from DNA, hunt it, kill it, and have its head mounted and hung on my wall.
 * 17) Buy the Environmental Protection Agency and rename it the Environmental Profit Administration.
 * 18) Exact my revenge on Maggie Simpson.
 * 19) Declare the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant a right-to-work state.
 * 20) Have my spine taken out and oiled.
 * 21) Say "Release the hounds!" over the public address system at the start of the Belmont dog races.
 * 22) Get one of my lackeys to go slumming for me.
 * 23) Set up a puppet regime somewhere.
 * 24) Produce a remake of the film  that shows the positive side of a near nuclear meltdown.
 * 25) Have my caricature done by "Vitch" and displayed on the wall of the Brown Derby eatery.
 * 26) Donate $50 million to fund a study on why ppor people are staving.
 * 27) Have my middle name legally changed to "Warbucks."
 * 28) Nail the euphonium solo from the "Shoe Tickler Rag."
 * 29) Keep a meal down completely.
 * 30) Determine once and for all how many houses I own.