The Heartbroke Kid/Quotes

Little kids aren't supposed to have heart attacks! They're supposed to skin their knees, or poke their eyes out, or get smothered by cats!

Homer, maybe you could ask Mr. Burns for a raise. Even better, I'll ask him for my job back!

It's not my birthday, Seymour. You know I'm a Sagittarius. Really? I'm a Libra. There's a lot of compatibility there. Skinner, be gay on your own time.


 * [After Bart collapses from his heart attack.]

Do the Bart Man! Do the Bart Man! [Bart groans] Why won't you dance? Dance!

Now when Bart goes home, he's going to have to follow a program of strict diet and exercise. Dammit, I will not bury another patient! Doctor, you're a pediatrician! Yeah, but my head's been somewhere else this year.

[to Homer] Mr. Simpson, you're suffering from PSI. Poor self esteem. That's not I! [yelling] Every sign is wrong!

[to Bart] Come on, let’s look for your dad. And if we have some time, maybe we'll look for mine.

Kent Brockman, Channel 6 News. I gorge on kettle corn during the sports and weather. We know. Your side fat's starting to spill over to channel 5 and 7. I hope you're getting 3 paychecks.

[to Bart] Son, I'm gonna tell you a story about a young man who came here and failed. Well, that is the story. I shouldn't call a sentence a story. Anyway, it's you!

Marge, can you cut back on your makeup budget? But I already use crayons for lipstick and fireplace soot for eyeliner. So that's where my soot went.

[to Bart] Young man, there's something I have to show you. In one hour. We have to drive there. No talking along the way, it'll hurt the drama. Can I just... Shh, drama!

[to the Simpsons] Folks, you have three weeks left on a non-refundable weight loss treatment, so if anybody else in the family wants to use it, use it now. But who else needs to lose weight? Maggie, Grampa, my seldom seen half brother, Herb? [the rest of the family looks at him] What are you all looking at me for?

I've learnt that even made up corporate shills can lie to you. [holds a stuffed fox animal] Did you hear that, Foxy, the Fox Network fox?

[to Homer] What are you eating now? Cheeseburger. You're a catastrophe. Let me have half of it. I don't wanna. I just want the cheese, I don't want the meat. I do want the meat. Here's a corner. Let me just bite it, don't rip it! Let me have the whole thing, you'll get some later. You're a selfish jerk. I've smelled it, it has to be eaten! But it's my burger! I'm driving. I'll kill us! Fine, I'd rather die!