Mr. Plow/Quotes


 * [Homer totalled both cars. An insurance agent is looking over the loss.]

Now before I give the check, one last question. Uh, this place Moe's, you left just before the accident, this is a business of some kind? 'Don't tell him you were at a bar. [gasps] But what else is open at night?' It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography. 'Heh heh. I woulda never thought of that.'

'Fraid old Zeke, he rides up here with me. Can't trust a pig with watermelons, y'know.

We're not prisoners anymore! We're free! We can go anywhere we want!
 * [long beat]

I'm cold and frightened.


 * [Car show. An attractive, large-breasted, blond model in a sequin gown is standing next to a car.]

Do you come with the car? Te-he-he-he! You!
 * [Homer goes to look at other cars, another man looks at car.]

Do you come with the car? Te-he-he-he! You!

Adam West! Hey, kids! Batman!! Dad, that’s not the real Batman. Of course I’m Batman. See, here’s a picture of me with Robin. Who the hell is Robin? I suppose you’re only familiar with the new Batman movies. ? Ha! The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt. And I didn’t need molded plastic to improve my physique. Pure. West. And why doesn’t Batman dance anymore? Remember the Batusi? [starts dancing] Heh. Nice meetin’ ya... [tugging the kids back and whispering] Just keep moving, don’t make eye contact…


 * [Telephone rings and is answered by Homer.]

Mr. Plow, that name again is Mr. Plow. 'Hello, I'm calling from Delinquent Accounts at Kumatsu Motors.' Oh, you want the Mr. Plow who plows driveways. This is Tony Plow. You know, from Leave It To Beaver? [pause] Yeah, they were gay.

[Climbs out of his crashed car and the airbag activates.] D'oh! Well I got 'im as good as he got me. [Sees Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie at the front door shocked] D'oh!

Mr. West, you said there was a job for me! There was, when I called you 45 minutes ago. So long, Superman! You're secret identity is safe with me!

Hardest hit by the blizzard is Springfield's forbidding Widow's Peak. Our own Arnie Pie is on the scene. [live] Everything's snowed in! All I can see is white! Arnie, please, the ski conditions. [now upside-down] Mayday, mayday! I think I'm flying into a mountain! Tell my wife I love— Heheh, that's great, Arnie.

The snow is melted! We can go outside again!
 * [short beat]

Erh, I don't like the looks of those teenagers.