Radio Bart/Quotes


 * [Looking for a snack, Homer finds several containers of in the freezer.]

[in anticipation] Mmmm... chocolate!


 * [Homer opens the container and the chocolate ice cream is all gone. The strawberry and vanilla, however, are completely untouched.]

D'oh! [tries another container] Mmmm... chocolate! [same results] D'oh!


 * [Homer checks the rest of the containers and they're all the same: Chocolate all gone and strawberry and vanilla untouched.]

[hollering] Marge! We need some more vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream!


 * [Bart plays his first prank with the Superstar Celebrity Microphone. The victim is Homer.]

[on radio] People of Earth, this is Bartron, commander of the Martian invasion force. Your planet is in our hands. Resistance is useless. We have captured your President. He was delicious!


 * [Homer screams, runs out of the kitchen, and fetches a shotgun.]


 * [Bart and his microphone strike again. This time the victims are Rod and Todd Flanders.]

[on radio] Rod! Todd! This is God! How did you get on the radio? Whaddya mean, 'How did I get on the radio?' I created the universe! Stupid kid.


 * [Rod and Todd quickly fall to their kness and clasp their hands.]

Forgive my brother, we believe you! Talk is cheap. Here is a test of your faith. Walk through the wall; I will remove it for you!


 * [Rod makes the attempt and walks into the wall.]

Later. [laughs] What do you want from us? I got a job for you. Bring forth all the cookies from your kitchen and leave them on the Simpsons' porch. But those cookies belong to our parents! [grumbles] Look, do you want a happy God or a vengeful God? [quickly] Happy God! Then quit flapping your lip and make with the cookies! Yes, sir!


 * [After hearing Timmy O'Toole's voice in the well, Groundskeeper Willie leaps onto his tractor and drives to town for help.]

[cutting several cars off] Outta my way! Look out, ya horse’s ass!


 * [In an interview with Kent Brockman, Krusty the Clown tells the story of the making of "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well."]

I called my good friend Sting. He said, 'Krusty, when do you need me?' I said, 'Thursday.' He said, 'I'm busy Thursday.' I said, 'What about Friday?' He said, 'Friday's worse than Thursday.' Then he said, 'How about Saturday?' I said, 'Fine.' True story!


 * [After falling into the well, Bart confesses his prank to Springfield Police officers Lou and Eddie.]

Look, I'll level with you. There is no Timmy O'Toole. It was just a prank I was playing on everybody. Well you sure fooled us, kid. Hey, I've got an idea for a prank. Let’s go home and go to sleep.


 * [They laugh and walk away, leaving Bart in the well.]


 * [On Channel 6 News, Kent Brockman interviews Homer and Marge about Bart's being stuck in the well.]

The time has come for finger-pointing, and most of them are squarely aimed at the boy's parents. It's not our fault! We didn't want the boy, he was an accident! [indignantly] Homer!!! Uh ... Could you edit that last part out? Mr. Simpson, we're live, coast-to-coast! D'oh!


 * [Led by Homer, a group of townspeople work to dig Bart out of the well after the city of Springfield refuses to help.]

The canary! Gas!! Out of the hole!


 * [Everyone runs out of the well in panic. Dr. Hibbert performs a quick autopsy on the dead canary.]

Gentlemen, this canary died of natural causes. Back in the hole!


 * [Also joining in the effort to rescue Bart is Sting.]

Sting, you look tired. Maybe you should take a rest. Not while one of my fans needs me. Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play one of your albums. [shushing Marge] Sssshhhh!! Marge, he's a good digger!

Dad, can I have some money to buy Bart a birthday present? Here you go. [counts the money] Dad, this is $110! Oh, sorry. [gives her his wallet]

Grasping the child firmly in his talons, Socrates here will fly him to safety! Just watch. [The falcon is released and flies away.] I don't think he's coming back.

I'm afraid we've got a budget problem, Marge. Your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well. If he had done it at the beginning of the fiscal year, no problemo.

That little Timmy is a real hero. What makes him a hero, Dad? Well, he fell down the well and ... can't get out. How does that make him a hero? Well, it's more than you did!

[at the barber shop, getting a shave] Digital audio tape, my butt! When I was a kid, we had compact disks, and I don't recall no one complaining. Damn right.

Don't worry, son. Just 'cuz you're trapped in a hole doesn't mean you can't live a rich and full life.