Patty & Selma's Ill-Fated Romance: My Sister, My Homewrecker!/Quotes


 * Marge: My husband is doing what with who?
 * Patty: You heard me. Homer is having an affair with Selma!
 * Marge: I can't belive it. My husband and my own sister? [COKE] Why, i've never head of such a thing.
 * Kent Brockman: It's happening everythwere... husbands cheating with their sisters-in-law! Are you the next victim?


 * Patty: What's all the hubbub, bub?
 * Selma: Patty, I give up I've dated very bachelor in the tri-country area and none of them measures up to the impssibly high standards I've set for myself. i guess I'll have to move to antoerh state-- --or start dating married men.


 * Marge: Well, I still can't believe it. Homer may have an unbelievably long list of faults, but deception isn't on it.
 * Patty: Oh, yeah? Well, where is the big choir boy now?
 * Marge: He said he was going to Moe's Tavern!
 * Patty: Fine. let's call him.
 * Moe (by phone): Hello, Moe's Tavern.
 * Marge: This is Marge Simpson, is Homer there?
 * Moe (by phone): I'm sorry, ma'am. I haven't seen your husband all night.
 * Patty: Well?
 * Marge: He's not there.
 * Patty: Ha! Er, I mean... I'm so sorry, dear.


 * Marge: Homer J. SImpson, how could ou? And with my own sister!
 * Selma: Marge! Wait -- I can explain!
 * Marge: I'll deal with you later, you homewrecker. Take that, Homer! [GASP!] Oh my lord! I knocked Homer's head off! I-i've killed my husband!
 * Selma: Not a jury in the world will convict you, Marge.


 * Marvin Monroe: Selma was just about to dump this fake Homer and complete her therapy when you interrupted us. I'm afraid it may take years of expensive treatment to undo the damage to Selma's psyche.