Lard of the Dance/Quotes

[complaining that Apu cleaned the hot-dog machine] Without the grease, all you can taste is the hog anus.

This is where all the hard work, sacrifice and painful scaldings pay off.

I've been muscled out of everything I've ever done, including my muscle-for-hire business.

Hey, blindy, have a nice trip! [trips Ralph in the hallway] Aaahh! Ha-ha!!

Alright, son, we're about to embark on our most difficult mission. Let's bow our heads in prayer.
 * [Bart and Homer close their eyes, bow their heads, and clasp their hands.]

Dear Lord, I know you're busy, seeing as how you can watch women changing clothes and all that, but if you help us steal this grease tonight, I promise we'll donate half the profits to charity. [looks at Homer] Dad, he's not stupid. Alright, screw it! Let's roll!

[grabs Homer, crawling in the air ducts] Not so fast, boyo. Well, if it was up to me, I'd let you go... [looks at his fists] but the lads have a temper, and they've been drinking all day! [starts to beat Homer] Stop pummelling me! It's really painful! Alright. I'll strangle you for a while!

Calm down, Lisa. DMY. What's DMY? Don't mess yourself. Eeew! Yeah, that's why we changed it to DMY.

Ooh, which one is the evil one? [on Sherri and Terri]

Unbelievable! Whoooa! [falls off her shoes and lands on the ground with a thud, while Nelson and the others look on.]