From the desk of Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: My Bottom 40

From the desk of Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: My Bottom 40 is a list featured in Simpsons Illustrated #9.

My Bottom 40

 * 1) Trying to stay awake 24 hours a day.
 * 2) Flesh wounds
 * 3) The screams of customers who burn their tongues on the microware bean burritos
 * 4) Refunds
 * 5) The annual two-week downturn in sales while Homer Simpson is away on vacation
 * 6) The lonely hours between 3 and 5.A.M.
 * 7) People who wish to get change without making at least a $10 puchase
 * 8) The unflattering manner in which the overhead scurity camera photographes my bald spot
 * 9) Wondering whether Squishees are as nutritious as they say
 * 10) Dairy-product expiration dates which are printed in non-erasable ink
 * 11) Wondering why the young hooligans are always nickering about thair "five finger discounts"
 * 12) Jimbo
 * 13) Dolph
 * 14) Kearney
 * 15) Bart Simpson
 * 16) Homer Simpson's complaints that my heavily salted snack treats are not salty enough
 * 17) Skateboard skidmarkes on my freshly waxed floors
 * 18) The eternal conflict between my immigrant work ethic and the allure of the local foxy ladies.
 * 19) The disappointing sales of my homemade curry-flavored crunch-treats
 * 20) The insulting Kwik-E-Mart employee burial plan
 * 21) The tempting lurid magazines that I sell my but must not look at, least my vigilance wander from the important duties of a convenience store clerk
 * 22) Sweaty customers fumbling through the jerky jar
 * 23) Eating meals from food bought in my own store
 * 24) The infernal way the door bongs every time a customer enters of exits
 * 25) Customers who wear pantyhouse over their heads
 * 26) Scrubbing the dumpster out back until it's springtime fresh
 * 27) TThe quie painful way the cash register drawer slams into my stomach every time I ring up a sale
 * 28) People who browse more than seven seconds before making a puchase
 * 29) The peristent stickness on the floor surrounding the Squsihee machine, no matter how hard I mop
 * 30) Having to mend my shirts every time I get shot
 * 31) Dodging bulets
 * 32) Finding half-eaten packets of cookies on the shelf and seeing suspicious crumgs on the chin of Bart Simpson
 * 33) The time I accidentally drank some concentrated Squishee syrup and had to go to the emergency room
 * 34) The bitter moans and curses of Homer Simpson every time he sees the numbers on his Scratch & Win lottery tickets
 * 35) Absent-midedley eating my own corn chips
 * 36) Trying to catch a quick nap in the coller
 * 37) The pungent aroma of a heat-lamp dog that's been cooking for two weeks
 * 38) Sleeping with my eyes open
 * 39) Robbers who are so rude!
 * 1) Robbers who are so rude!