Bart the Fink/Quotes


 * [The Simpsons each receive $100 in a bequest from Great-Aunt Hortense, who has recently passed away. Marge takes the kids to the bank to deposit their money.]

You'll feel better knowing your money's is in the hands of professionals. [wearing an ape mask] Uk, uk. Are you folks ready to go ape? [protesting] Mom... A professional in an ape mask is still a professional.


 * [In the Cayman Islands, a representative of the Cayman Islands Offshore Holding Corporation has just received a phone call, inquiring about Krusty the Clown's account.]

I'm sorry, I cannot divulge information about that customer's secret, illegal account.
 * [The representative hangs up the phone, then does a double take as he realizes what he just did.]

Oh crap, I shouldn't have said he was a customer. Oh crap, I shouldn't have said it was a secret. Oh, crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal! [sighs resignedly] Oh, it's too hot today.


 * [Thanks to Bart's alerting the bank about Krusty's Cayman Islands account, Krusty has been arrested. The bank clerk fills Bart in on what's happened.]

It turns out Krusty is one of the biggest tax cheats in history, and they nailed him, all thanks to you. Some might say you're a hero, kid. Not me, though. I love Krusty.
 * [Bart groans.]


 * [On the evening news, Kent Brockman reports on Krusty's arrest and Bart's role in it. Bart feels remorseful.]

Krusty's my hero. How could I do this to him? It's a tragedy for all us kids, but Bart, don't beat yourself up over it. Yeah. There'll be plenty of people to do that for me at recess tomorrow.