So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show/Quotes

The following is a public service announcement. Excessive alcohol consumption can cause liver damage and cancer of the rectum. Mmm... beer.

That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place. Forget it, that's two blocks away. Looks like there's beer coming out of the chimney! [gets up, exits] I am proceeding on foot – call in a code 8. We need pretzels; repeat, pretzels.

I brought you a little present. [gives Homer a can of beer] No. Beer bring pain. I can't stand to see him like this. ''[Shoves a pillow in Homer's face. He than lifts up a water fountain, throws it at a window, jumps out and runs away]'' He really needs a girlfriend.

Oh Marge. What if I wind up as some vegetable watching TV on the couch. My important work will never be completed.

You're going down, Homer. I'm gonna fool you! You talk better than you fool. I'll fool you up real nice. You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.

Mrs. Simpson, I'm afraid your husband is dead. [laughs] April Fools. He's very much alive, although I'm afraid he may never walk again.

Poor Homer. This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you. [gargles] Rrraaahhh ... Ah! Kill it! Kill it! Grampa, please, he's in a coma. Coma? Pfffft. Why, I go in and out of comas all the – [falls asleep] [wakes up] French toast, please.

Is a coma painful? Oh, heck no. You relive long lost summers, kiss girls from high school. It's like one of those TV shows where they show a bunch of clips from old episodes.

[bursts thru the ward] This man is costing my health plan $5000 a day! I demand that he die with dignity. [he plugs the plug] Now, look, I'm the doctor here. Well, I demand a second opinion. [pops in] Hi, everybody! Hi, Dr. Nick. [Nick pokes Homer's abdomen with a reflex hammer] [squeaks] Mrth. Oh dear, I see no signs of life. Just to be safe, we better pull the plug. Yoink!

You lost 5% of your brain. Me lose brain? Uh-oh! [Everyone including Homer laughs] Why I laugh?