MyPods and Boomsticks/Quotes


 * [At the Mapple Store, an announcement comes over the speaker system.]
 * Announcer: [on speakers] "Attention, Mapple Universe. Prepare for a live announcement from Mapple founder and Chief Imaginative Officer Steve Mobbs."
 * People in Crowd: "Steve Mobbs!" -- "He's a genius!" -- "He's like a god who knows what we want!"
 * Steve Mobbs: [appearing on giant video screen] "Greetings! It is I, your insanely great leader, Steve Mobbs. I'm speaking to you from Mapple headquarters, deep below the sea, with an announcement that will completely change the way you look at everything. [The crowd gasps.] And that announcement is-"
 * [Seeing the opportunity for a prank, Bart plugs in a microphone and cuts into Mobbs' announcement. On the screen, Mobbs is now talking silently while Bart provides him with new material.]
 * Bart: "You're all losers! [The crowd gasps -- "Huhhhh??"] You think you're cool because you buy a five-hundred-dollar phone with a picture of a fruit on it? Well, guess what. They cost eight bucks to make and I pee on every one!"
 * Crowd: "Eeeeeewwwww!!" [They drop their MyPhones, MyPods and other Mapple merchandise onto the floor.]
 * Bart: [continuing] "I have made a fortune off you chumps and I've invested it all in Microsoft. Now my boyfriend Bill Gates and I kiss each other on a pile of your money!"
 * [The crowd gasps again. Comic Book Guy, carrying a large slegdehammer, charges the screen.]
 * Comic Book Guy: "Traitor! Your heart is blacker than your turtleneck!"
 * [Comic Book Guy hurls the sledgehammer into the screen, shattering it, and several Mapple Store employees wrestle him to the floor. Bart chuckles at the scene.]
 * Mapple Store Employee: "Who dares question the boss we fired ten years ago and then brought back?"
 * Lisa: [pointing accusingly] "It was my brother, Bart!"
 * Mapple Store Employee: "Flay him with your earbuds! Flay him, I say!"
 * [All the employees take their earbuds off, twirl them, and advance on Bart.]


 * Marge: "You're teaching Bart a terrible lesson of intolerance!"
 * Homer: "I'm sorry. It's just so fun and easy to judge people based on religion."


 * Kearney: "What's your name, sweat stain?"
 * Bashir: "Uh, Bashir?"
 * Kearney: "'Bash here?' I love a kid that comes with directions!"


 * [Beneath the sea, Lisa goes to Mapple headquarters to see Steve Mobbs about her MyTunes bill.]
 * Employee: "Mr. Mobbs, there's a surface dweller here to see you. MyTunes user JazzGal62."
 * Steve Mobbs: "Oh, Lisa Simpson. Send her in!"
 * [Lisa comes in.]
 * Steve Mobbs: "Lisa, it's insanely great to see you."
 * Lisa: [pleading her case] "Um, Mr. Mobbs, I sort of downloaded too many songs onto my MyPod and I don't have the money to pay for them. Do you think you could consider a reduced payment plan?"
 * Steve Mobbs: "I'm sorry. I know our posters say 'Think differently,' but our real slogan is 'No refunds.'"
 * Lisa: [tearfully] "Can't you open your Mapple menu and click on the compassion bar? Oh, please."
 * [Steve Mobbs thinks for a moment.]
 * Steve Mobbs: "Lisa, how would you like to work for Mapple?"
 * Lisa: [perking up] "Would I ever!"
 * [The scene shifts to a busy street corner. Lisa is wearing a MyPod costume and handing out flyers to passersby.]
 * Lisa: [blandly and unenthusiastically] "Think differently. Think differently. Think differently. [sighs] Think differently."