The Girl Who Slept Too Little/Quotes

[awakened by stamp museum construction] It's seven A.M.! What are they cock-a-doodley-doing?


 * [Walking through the cemetery, Lisa tries to talk herself out of being scared.]

If has taught me anything, it's that the only thing to fear are crooked real estate developers.

There's no such thing as zombies. I'm glad to hear you say that, because the one who doesn't believe in zombies is always the first to get feasted upon.

I'm Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone. You stole it from me, Elisha Gray. Read the patent number, bitch!

That Dr. Hibbert was so boring! "Homer, we've got to get that lump checked out", "Homer, we must discuss your test results", "Homer, we've gotta find you a donor." Blah, blah, blah.

Hmmm, this is a little too spooky for me. I don't even like watching the Count on Sesame Street. [on "Sesame Street" that Maggie is watching] One coconut. Two coconuts. Three coconuts! [laughs] Go back to your own country!

I can't believe it took us forty minutes to get here. Why can't they build a stamp museum closer to our house? Dad, you fought tooth and nail to get it away from our house. Lisa, when you have as many concussions as I have, consistency is … something, something … I love you, Bart.

[to Eddie] I actually got into law school... I just couldn't afford it. Quiet. I hear something. Yeah, that's my life slipping away.

Two! Four! Six! Eight! I hate stamps! They aren't great! [there's no reaction from the protesting people] Okay... How about this? Seven! Four! Three! One! Oh wait, that's my PIN number. Everyone forget that! [everyone writes down Homer's PIN number]

What if we show Lisa we can sleep in her room without being frightened? [suggestively] Ok, Marge. But don't be surprised if a "Snuggle Monster" shows up. Well, I hope he's accompanied by the "How Was Your Day Monster", and the "Footrub Monster", and the "Let Me Just"... [flatly] Don't worry, he's not showin' up.

'[[to Lisa] Tonight I want you to really try to sleep in your own bed, because it… [Homer is flying a remote control helicopter around Marge's head] Homer, stop that! There's a little plastic man in your hair, and I'm trying to rescue him. [salutes]'' No soldier left behind.

We're back in the only safe bedroom in the house. What about Bart's room? You know that racecar bed I made him? Yeah. The brakes are shot! [scene goes to Bart's racecar bed out of control]


 * [After Bart's racecar bed crashes through Homer and Marge's bedroom.]

Learn to drive, boy!

Groundskeeper Willie? No, I'm his cousin, Gravedigger Billy. I've been digging graves for thirty years and I've never buried anyone alive. If I did they'd ring this bell. (bell rings) Oh, that's just the wind. [hand comes out of ground] That's just a tree branch... with a nice watch on it! [takes the watch and beats the hand with his shovel]