Fund-Razing/Quotes


 * Lisa: I can't believe we have to hear about another fund-raiser. This is the eleventh one this year!
 * Nelson: I'll take any excuse to get out of class... but this is the worst! Can't somebody get us out of this thing?
 * Bart: Have no fear... Bart Simpson is here! Let's see if I can liven things up.


 * Lisa: You should be ashamed of yourself, Bart. You little prank has ruined this man!
 * Bart: Hey, you were the one who wanted out of the assembly. I can't be responsible for collateral damage!
 * Lisa: And you should be ashamed, too. You get kids to guilt people into buying overpriced, second rate products... ...and the school and the kids don't get anything!
 * Gil: I'm sorry! I only took the job to get my dear aunt a new iron lung! The roof leaked in the old folks' home... ...and now she's developed a case of premature rust! You've got to help me!


 * Moe: Sure, kid. These guts will buy everything you've got. I forgot to pick up my government cheese doodles this month!
 * Lisa: Oh, hi, Milhouse! I'm glad to see you're selling to these nice men.
 * Milhouse: What's up, Lisa?
 * Lisa: I commend you on the choice you're making, Moe. This is a super-healthy, zero-cal mix of organic lagumes!
 * Moe: Legumes? I thought this was good old American junk food! You can keep 'em! C'mon, guys... there's stil some chip gut at the bottom of the snack machine!


 * Bart: We're just trying to stop you from making a terrible mistake! The ten thousand-dollar pize is baloney! They're raising money for Springfield Elementary's secret plan, not school renovations. They want to expand school to six days a week with no summer vacations!
 * Sherri/Terri: Six days?!
 * Nelson: No vacations?!


 * Seymour Skinner: This is the worst fundraiser ever! We brought in only five dollars... and that was what I sold to my mother! The school's cut is only a dime. That won't buy any toilet seats. It might get you into a pay toilet... in 1950!
 * Gil: [GULP!]
 * Gary Chalmers: Don't let it worry you, Seymour! I've just signed a contract with the mayor to put the kids to work.
 * Joe Quimby: It's good yo see our city's... er, ah... young people willing to lend a hand after the recent... er, ah... unpleasantness. Especially when they work cheaper than the sanitation union!
 * Nelson: This is all you fault, Simpson.
 * Bart: Hey, you're the ones who wanted out of class! You just didn't say how!
 * Lisa: Oh, Brother!