The Death of Comic Book Guy! (Part One)/Quotes


 * Comic Book Guy: If you are watching this, then you are about to see me [CHOKE!] die! This is my attempt to break the world record for recreating the most awesome fictional deaths of all time in one minute!


 * Comic Book Guy: Foolish mortals, the prize will be mine!
 * Graphic Novel Kid: I say thee nay!
 * Comic Book Guy: And you are...?
 * Graphic Novel Kid: I go by many names, but you may call me... ...The Graphic Novel Kid!
 * Comic Book Guy: So, we finally cross paths!
 * Graphic Novel Kid: Indeed! This is like meeting my Bizzaro clone! A sad copy!
 * Comic Book Guy: You're the copy!
 * Graphic Novel Kid: Perhaps we should settle this like men!
 * Comic Book Guy: A message board flame war?
 * Graphic Novel Kid: Unless you haven't got the emoticons!


 * Krusty: And the winner and future Lard Lad is... ...The Graphic Novel Kid!
 * Comic Book Guy: Noooooooooooo!
 * Graphic Novel Kid: Was that an impression of Darth Vader rom Revenge of the Sith?
 * Comic Book Guy: Technically, it was an impression of the Star Wars fans who sat through Revenge of the Sith!
 * Krusty: Not only do you get to be Lard Lad until your inevitable coronary... ...but you also win this company car! The new custom-built Lard-Astin Martin! And get this! It runs entirely on donut grease!
 * Graphic Novel Kid: Huzzah!
 * Comic Book Guy: I curse that car! I curse it with every fiber of my being!


 * Bart: Man, you're lucky!
 * Comic Book Guy: Lucky? How?
 * Bart: If you'd won the contest, you'd be dead by now!
 * Comic Book Guy: The boy is correct! Losing was a blessing in disguise! I have truly learned something today.
 * Lisa: To be kinder to your fellow man?
 * Comic Book Guy: [PFFFFFT] Yeah, right! Thank you, ghost of Christmas future!


 * Bart: Comic Book Guy, he's... dead!
 * : And this isn't a dream...
 * : A hoax...
 * : On an imaginary tale!
 * Gil: In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have put real rocket fuel in that prop. Oh well, live and learn.