Much Apu About Something/Quotes


 * Jay: [To Apu] That's exactly what I'm talking to you about. You're my uncle and I love you, but you're a stereotype, man. Take a penny, leave a penny. I'm Indian, I do yoga. Why don't you go back to the Temple of Doom, Dr. Jones!


 * Apu: This stereotype will no longer be a troublesome potato in your spicy vindaloo!


 * Jay: I was kind of a douchewheel.
 * Apu: Even your way of apologizing offends me.


 * Lisa: Bart, wait! I like the new you. Listen, before you flip those circuit breakers, look deep in your sister's eyes and tell me what you see.
 * Bart: I see love.
 * Lisa: Unconditional love.
 * Bart: Which means I can so whatever I want!
 * Lisa: D'oh!


 * Mayor Quimby: Springfield has more handicapped parking spots for fat guys than any other non-Chicago city


 * Apu: [reads a Playdude magazine] Before I die, I would like to know just what is in these nudie magazines.
 * Sanjay: What is it, brother?
 * Apu: An interview with... Jim Gaffigan.


 * Apu: Quick & Fresh? Who spells "quick" with a "Q"?


 * Marge: Oh, Apu, it's good to see you doing so well. I know you can't turn your head, but you've got a great view.
 * Marge: Oh! Are you okay?
 * Homer: Marge, he's got nine lives.
 * Apu: I am a Hindu, sir, not a cat. I have infinite lives during some of which I may be a cat. In those I do have nine.