Dumbbell Indemnity/Quotes

[upon hearing his player's club card is maxed out] Well, that's it. It's over. Renee ain't gonna want to hang around with no Joe pinch-penny. Come on, Moe. Think of all the things you have to offer her besides money. I need cash, and fast!

It's been four years since my last date with a whatchoo-call-it, uh, woman.

Oh, Homer! I've been the world's biggest rat. Can you ever forgive me? Aww, I could never stay mad at you, Moe. After all, you get me drunk!

Renee, there's something I gotta tell ya. Oh no. You're gay, aren't you? Oh boy, Renee, you sure can pick 'em! Nah, it ain't that. What, so you're married? No, no! I--Hey, why did you say gay first?

Hmm, I don't know… I can just imagine what Marge would say! [In Homer's imagination] Homer, I insist you steal that car! I'll do it!

Really? You think I'm gorgeous? Yeah, well, the part that's showin'. Guess you could have a lotta weird scars or a fake ass or somethin'. You don't talk to a lot of women, do you?

No girl wants to end up with a Joe Pukepail like me. Now, now, I won't hear of it, Moe! You're a fabulous catch! Oh yeah? Well how come I ain't fending off movie starlets with a pointy stick? Oh, it's probably due to your ugliness, but that doesn't mean we can't find you a woman. C'mon! We're going to the darkest bar in town!


 * [Homer makes a toast.]

To Marge, and all the blissful years I spent hiding from her in this bar.