Lionel Hutz

Lionel Hutz is an incompetent but greedy lawyer in Springfield, desperate for cases, few of which he actually wins. He is financially unsound, extremely poor and willing to do nearly anything for cash.

Character
Hutz is an inept ambulance chaser and, to quote Lisa, a "shyster" whom the Simpsons nonetheless repeatedly hired as their lawyer (a fact remarked on by Marge in a typically self-aware aside) most likely because they can't afford a better lawyer. At one point, he claims to have graduated from Princeton school of law, although Princeton has never had a law school. His legal practice, located in a shopping mall, was named "I Can't Believe It's a Law Firm!". He often tried to entice potential clients with free gifts, including a "smoking monkey" doll and a business card that "turns into a sponge when you put it in water" to which Homer Simpson was impressed with.

Hutz only occasionally appears in The Simpsons' lives but sometimes plays central roles in events involving them. Marge distrusts Hutz, even remarking once during a trial, "We really should stop hiring him." He was once briefly married to Marge's sister, Selma Bouvier. He once claimed to be a user of women; dating them just for money. He then demonstrated this by hitting on Edna Krabappel. He was once seen with Ms. Albright.

Disabilities
Hutz is a recovering addict, who once hastily left the courtroom after handling a bottle of bourbon in order to consult his sponsor, musician David Crosby. Also, Hutz referred to bourbon as "brownest of the brown liquors" and offered to share with Marge and Homer "a belt of scotch" at 9AM, explaining that he "hadn't slept in days." He believes the American Bar Association is a drinking association, plus he uses a fork to comb his hair.

Career
Lionel got his lawyer degree from a garage sale at the Diddle Diddle Day Care Center. He specializes in the art of enhanced testimony, and uses dramatic effect to impress the judge and jury alike. He strongly believes that surprise witness make the most impact in court, so that he once called Abe Lincoln to the stand. Hutz is such a bad lawyer that on his worst case a client got the death penalty from a parking ticket dispute.

Beyond the law
Beyond the law, he also tried his hand at selling real estate. When Homer hired him to babysit the Simpson children, he had renamed himself Miguel Sanchez following some trouble that prompted him to change his identity and burn all his personal papers, and he was also known as Dr. Nguyen Van Phuoc, a Vietnamese name, in addition to Mr. Sanchez. He also won the role as 'Mitch' in the musical adaption of 'A Street Car Named Desire', whilst simultaneously suing the troupe on behalf of the people who were not cast. He may also be a drug dealer, as when Milhouse lands the role of Fallout Boy, Hutz barges up to him and one of the services offered was "drug deal- errrrrr.... keeper awayer". He also attended an adult education course.

Cases won
Although Hutz loses almost all of his cases, he did win several cases for the Simpsons, for instance representing Homer in his case against Captain McAllister and the Frying Dutchman restaurant over its "All You Can Eat" offer. While the Blue Haired Lawyer tried to show that Homer's eating was far beyond what could reasonably be expected out of an all-you-can-eat offer, Hutz won by putting Marge on the stand and having her reveal the desperate actions she and Homer took after they were kicked out of the restaurant. At Hutz´ urging, Marge tearfully admitted that after searching for another All You Can Eat fish restaurant until 3AM, Homer and Marge "went fishing." Considering Marge's honest nature, it is unlikely that she was lying. The case was helped by the fact that the entire jury was made up of obese jurors. Captain McAllister then struck a deal with Homer, offering him all he could eat in exchange for using him as a sort of freakshow attraction to get more customers.

Another case he won for one of the Simpsons was when Bart discovered that an old tramp named Chester J. Lampwick was the real creator of The Itchy & Scratchy Show, which was proved by an old drawing by Lampwick. Roger Myers (who had falsely claimed credit for the creation) then had to pay him $800 billion, which forced the Itchy & Scratchy Studios to close down for a short time. Although this had nothing to do with Hutz's skills as a lawyer, it was him who stalled for time for Bart to get the drawing during the trial, by calling his surprise witnesses once again.

Hutz also won another case when Bart sued Krusty after he got appendicitis after eating a piece of jagged metal that was being given away as a prize in his cereal that wasn't even in the safety package all prizes are held in. The case was won and Bart was given $100,000 in compensation. $99,500 of which was taken by Hutz who'd assembled a team of phony lawyers to make it seem to Bart that it was necessary.

Non-canon
Hutz represented Homer against the Devil (Ned Flanders). At issue was the rightful owner of Homer's soul. In a hastily assembled courtroom in the Simpsons' living room, before a jury of the damned, Hutz discussed competently the nature of a contract, although his argument ironically was harmful to Homer. Despite the fact that the contract between Homer and the Devil clearly awarded Homer's soul to the Devil upon Homer's consumption of the 'forbidden donut', the jury found a note from Homer to Marge saying that he pledged his soul to her for all eternity thus his soul was not to rightfully give up to the Devil causing them rule in favor of Homer. In retribution for losing the court case, Homer was cursed by the Devil and his head was turned into a giant donut. The case was not won so much for Hutz's skill as an attorney, but by Marge's introduction of the relevant evidence (the photo with a note from Homer on the back, granting his soul to Marge).

Retirement
The character was retired after Phil Hartman's death in 1998, as well as his other main character Troy McClure. As the Simpsons frequently appear in court, other characters have represented them in legal matters, ranging from just as incompetent to actually knowing what they're doing. For example, in Sweets and Sour Marge, the equally-incompetent Gil stepped in. The Blue-Haired Lawyer has also served as the family's attorney, Lionel Hutz still appears infrequently in clip shows and flashbacks, as well as crowd scenes, but only in non-speaking roles. Hutz and McClure still appear in Simpsons Comics, as a voice actor is not needed.