The Purple Prose of Springfield/Quotes


 * Bart: I'm in! My mission - should I care to accept it - is to find and destory evil Lisa Simpson propganda. Must work fast... encylopedia - usless... saxopone-annoying... Malibu Stacy dolls - disturbingy fun to play with when no one is looking... hold it, what's this?


 * Bart: Woha... "Springfield Publishing Contest! allt entries pesonally evaluted by editor-in-chief Seymour Skinner..." Wow! What could be more himilating for Lisa than a rejection letter personally signed by principal Skinner? But maybe that's too cruel... Actually, I think this will stop just short of the crule. Where's that address?


 * Marge: Hmmm... Lisa, it's your diary, so it's up to you do you wnat it published?
 * Lisa: What -- and join the ranks of Isaak Dinesen and Beryl Markham? You bet!
 * Seymour Skinner & Lionel Hutz: Yay!
 * Lisa: This is the happiest day of my life.
 * Bart: Wow -- did this plan backfire or what?


 * Marge: Lisa, this diary is filled with insults, scandal and lies!
 * Homer: Yeah! You say I eat too much and sometimes I have beer breath. Now, obviosuly no one would ever believe that! It's hearsay, I tells ya!
 * Marge: Actually, I was referring to the numerous references to affairs, fights, and particualary to the jewel heist in chapter 12.
 * Lisa: But, mom, I swear, I didn't write those parts. You've got to belvie me.
 * Marge: Well, then principal Skinner is going to have a hefty lawsuit on his hands.
 * Lionel Hutz: Did someone say, "law-suit"?


 * Lionel Hutz: Your honor, Lisa Simpson is a charming, hard-working young girl... objection -- prejudical. Allow me to restate... ...Lisa Simpson is an unreprentant theif of my client's creativity! I object he's badgering my client. Back off, slim -- you're way out of your leage.
 * Lisa: Excause me, your honor? I'd like to fire him.
 * Female Judge: Good move.
 * Lisa: ...and replace him with my brother, Bart.
 * Female Judge: Not so smart. But I'll allow it.
 * Lionel Hutz: Thank you. That makes my job infinitely easier.