Love, Springfieldian Style/Quotes

For the next two hours, we'll be kid free. It'll be just like the time we lost them at the mall. Hee, hee, hee, hee! Heh, heh, that was the best Christmas ever.

Ah, the Tunnel of Love -- nothing gets a woman in your arms faster than scary robots and simulated privacy.

Okay... but if Dad kisses Mom too much, a stork will lay an angel egg in her tummy, and the next thing you know we find a baby brother in the cabbage patch!

They were the Bonnie and Clyde of their day. Their names were... Bonnie and Clyde.

Say, if you're so bad, you could go stick up that feed store over yonder. Unless you're... chicken. No one calls me "chicken" without goading me into doing something stupid!

Why are you shooting at us? We cooperated fully! It's a sex thing! Say no more!

To deal with the menace of Bonnie and Clyde, I am recalling all our air defense forces from Pearl Harbor. [the crowd cheers] Somebody please remind me to move them back. I would be honored to perform that duty.

Hey keep it down, will ya? The part where all my men get killed is comin' up. Listen Sheriff, I can help you take down Bonnie and Clyde. After the racially-insensitive cartoon.

She's so beautiful... Imagine what she looks like with her collar off... A mutt like you could never get a fancy dame like that. Even her fleas have more class than you.
 * [the camera zooms in on some upper class fleas]

Lady Bitington, will you be summering in the hindquarters again this year? Oh no. Chompy and I have taken a cottage in West Leg. It's where all the fleas are fleeing.

Oh, you poor thing! Is there anything I can do? You can have dinner with me. All right -- but keep your nose where I can see it.

You're pretty feisty for an upper class bitch. Ooh, I like that you use the technical term for a female dog.

Why didn't I listen to mama? "Serve food to humans!"

I have to admit, that was exciting. And... I am in heat. That's the safe time, right? Oh, the safest.

You strays are goin' straight to the pound, where you'll be put to sleep... by my boring stories. And then you'll be killed!

Gorsh, you can't kill me -- I'm half-human! Look, I wear clothes, I speak English! I'm speaking it right now! Sure you are...

This place is no picnic, but it sure beats workin' for Disney.

Nancy, what are the odds? You sign up for a semester at U. of London, then I immediately do the same. eah, I'm really lucky you saved me from meeting other people and having new experiences.

We're gonna go out and play our songs like we've never played 'em before: competently! Where's Sid? Sidney Sheldon Vicious! Where you been, chompin' Wonka? When I hired a guy named Sid Vicious, I assumed it would be a thirty-year business relationship. I told you to hire Tom Responsible.