Scared Straight... To Jail/Quotes


 * Homer: I can't take it any more!
 * Marge: You can't take what any more, Homer?
 * Homer: You know, Marge... Bart! I'd swear that little monster is out to kill me!
 * Marge: Oh, Homer, you're exaggerating! Bart may be a bit overenthusiastic, but he'll always be my special little guy!


 * Kent Brockman: This is Kent Brockman with a special report from state prison, where young lawbreakers get a startling dose of life behind bars!
 * Homer: Oooh, it's one of those "scared straight" programs! I just love seeing young hoodlums get intimidated by hardened prision inmates!
 * Kent Brockman: Although the youngsters haven't actually been arrested, "operation: tough love" intends to discourage them from following a life of crime!
 * Homer: This is way more entertainging than Marge's stupid ol' magazine!


 * Bart: This is totally bogus! I demand to talk to a lawyer!
 * Lou: Calm down, kid! I don't wanna have to get out the taser!
 * Bart: Hey, don't tase me, bro!
 * Eddie: After all, this whole thing was arranged by your father here!
 * Bart: It was?!?!
 * Homer: That's right, boy! Like it or not, you're gonna see the bad stuff that happens to troublemakers first hand!
 * Marge: I certainly don't recall "brainfood" magazine suggesting this method of correcting children!


 * Clancy Wiggum: Get that Simpson kid! He's the one behind this whole riot!
 * Eddie: Yeah! [Gasp!] [Gasp!] I only gave up smoking last month!
 * Clancy Wiggum: Boys, the next time Homer Simpson calls and asks me for a favor, remind me to hang up!
 * Bart: You'll never take me alive, coppers!
 * Lou: Aw c'mon kid, give us a break and give up!


 * Homer: B-but pointy-haired kid, you weren't due back home yet for another two hours!
 * Eddie: Hey, that kid's not scared of anyone... or anything!
 * Homer: And he looks awfully chipper! I thought he was gonna be scared to death!
 * Bart: Hiya, Homer!
 * Lou: Yeah if anyone was scared, it was us! Your son nearly organized a hostile takeover of the jail by our inmates!
 * Bart: Yeah, better watch out, Homer... I might decide to organize a takeover right here!
 * Homer: Why, you little--! Maaarge?!! Where'd that copy of "Brain-Food" magazine go?
 * Marge: Oh, Homie did you finally change your mind about using its advice to deal with Bart?
 * Homer: No, I'm gonna swat him with it! Repeatedly!