The Great Phatsby: Part One/Quotes


 * Homer: [narrating] In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice. He said, "The laziest way to tell a story is through voice-over narration."


 * Mr. Burns: [To Smithers] Now, you head up to Northern Canada and get me a quarter ton of lake ice. Hand-sawn and tong-carried.
 * Smithers: Risk my life in the arctic wilderness just to bring you some ice. It would be an honor.


 * Smithers: I have 45 close friends who are all pretty amazing party planners.


 * Chief Wiggum: Hey, everyone, hey! I'm off-duty, so please don't feel weird doing drugs in front of me, or with me.


 * Mr. Burns: A charge plate? But I've never had one of those newfangled swipe-a-ma-jigs!
 * Jay G: It's an Obsidian Card, the most exclusive. No spending limit, no store has ever heard of it. But they have to accept it.


 * Homer: [narrating] The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.


 * Homer: [narrating what Burns does] The loneliest moment in someone's life is watching their whole world fall apart. And all they can do is stare blankly. Oh no—wait, he's crying now. That's worse... Oh, he tripped over a dog!