Soccer Mummy

Soccer Mummy is an upcoming family film at Springfield Googolplex Theatres, starring Ed O'Neill in the title role.

Plot
The movie is the story of Justin's soccer team. The team was in last place, resulting in Justin being teased by other kids: "You suck! No wonder your parents are getting divorced." The team's fortunes changed completely when they dug up a new player, the Soccer Mummy. He made brilliant plays for the team, and taught Justin to believe in himself. The Soccer Mummy's only weakness (revealed when he saw a well-endowed woman in the stands cheering for him) was that his bandages ripped when he got a boner.