The Joy of Sect/Quotes


 * [Homer and Bart arrive at the Springfield International Airport.]

Thanks for letting me skip school to see the team come back from the championship, dad! I always say, a boy can learn more at an airport than he can in any school.


 * [Homer and Bart continue their walk through the airport. They pass some religious people.]

Have you heard of Krishna Consciousness? This, Bart, is a crazy man!
 * [They move on.]

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. [sarcastic] Right, that'll work.
 * [They move on.]

A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet, Blisstonia. Hmmm, makes sense!


 * [Hans Moleman enters "Just Crichton and King Bookstore".]

Do you have anything by ? [sinister] Get out.

Homer no function beer well without.

Out of my way, Jerk Ass!

Nobody can brainwash Bart Simpson. Nothing that I can't handle.
 * [Movementarian pulls out a briefcase labeled "Lil' Bastard Brainwash" and Bart enters a room. He reappears a few seconds later.]

I love The Leader.

When we got married, you promised me my harvesting days were over.

Your family will be housed here for the first 100,000 years, then something might open up in a double. Why even unpack?

Marge, when I join an underground cult I expect a little support from my family.

Dad, do you think you might have been brainwashed? I have not been brainwashed! Kill the girl.

Watch yourself, Dad - you're the highly suggestible type. Yes, I am the highly suggestible type.

Church, cult, cult, church. So we'll get bored someplace else every Sunday. Does this really change our everyday lives?


 * [Lovejoy begins to spill gasoline all over the church.]

I never thought I'd have to do this again.

This new so-called religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate.


 * [The Leader drives past in a Rolls-Royce.]

We toil in the fields and he drives around in a Rolls-Royce? Yes, it would be nice if he'd buy American, but what are you going to do?

It's great that we can all think for ourselves again.
 * [Family returns to watching TV.]

You are watching FOX. [Robotically] We are watching FOX.