Bard Boiled/Quotes


 * Lisa: Bart, do the right lines. You're ruining "Troilus and Cressida"!
 * Bart: C'mon, Lis, I'm just doing a little improv to lighten things up.


 * Juliet: Oh, Romeo, swear not by the moon. Swear not by the fence. Just stop swearing already! You'll wake up my parents!
 * Romeo: I stubbed by toe on your @#!! garden gnome!


 * Scratchy: You know Itchy, I like violence as much as the next guy, but whoever wrote this is really messed up.
 * Itchy: Word!


 * King Lear: Man, being a king is so boring. Goneril, Regan, Cordelia! We're going to play a game!
 * Regan: A game? What an excellent idea, father! Tag? Chess? Hunting peasants for sport?
 * King Lear: Better! This is a game called, "Who loves daddy best?"


 * King Lear: I must find my daguther. My sweet loving child!
 * Richard III: Some dogs were chewing on smoething in the bushes.
 * King Lear: Oh by, the gods, no! Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks, rage, blow--
 * Romeo: Hold it!
 * King Lear: What?
 * Romeo: She's totally faking to get attention! She did the same thing to me!
 * King Lear: Aaah!
 * Cordelia: Romeo! You shouldn't even be here!
 * Romeo: Told ya!
 * Cordelia: You are so rude... so rude... so rude...