The Burns and the Bees/Quotes


 * Homer: Marge, remember when we were talking about our worst fears?
 * Marge: Uh-huh.
 * Homer: And mine was snakes, and yours was...?
 * Marge: Never being a grandmother.
 * Homer: Really? I thought it was Lisa with a beard of bees. Well, whatever, brace yourself.


 * Lisa: Willie, I didn't know you were an apiarist.
 * Groundskeeper Willie: From context, I can tell that means beekeeper.


 * Mayor Quimby: First, one announcement: I regret to inform you we are not offering childcare tonight. I don't know who that guy was you were leaving your kids with.


 * Lisa: Dad, we have to do something all the bees are dying!
 * Homer: [sarcastically] Oh, no! No bees! Ooh, now who will sting me and walk all over my sandwiches?
 * Lisa: But, Dad! Bees pollinate flowers.
 * Homer: Pfft. Flowers, the painted whores of the plant world.


 * Moe: Listen, Homer: in the back room, I got these super-tough Africanized bees. I saw this ad in a gentleman's magazine for excited African honeys and that's what they sent me. If we could combine them with Lisa's bees, it would make them strong enough to survive any environment.
 * Homer: But how are we supposed to combine the DNA of two strains of the same species?
 * Moe: Actually, Homer... [whispers]
 * Homer: [gasps] You and me?
 * Moe: No, the bees!
 * Homer: Oh, yeah, yeah, that's what I meant, too. I... have no... inclination.


 * [When Lisa releases the bees into their sanctuary]
 * Lisa: Oh, I miss them.
 * Marge: Now you know how I'll feel when you go to college.
 * Lisa: You'll always have Bart! Always.
 * Marge: But he'll be gone a lot repairing refrigerators.
 * Lisa: Always.


 * [As Lisa's bees are swarming around the breakfast table]
 * Bart: Mom, maybe you shouldn't have put so much syrup on the pancakes.
 * Homer: The secret is not to swallow the stingers. [takes big bite of pancakes with bees on them, and spits stingers out into a glass]
 * Lisa: Dad, don't eat the bees!
 * Homer: They're just drones, Lisa, they only live for, like, 5 minutes anyway! And they only have haploid cells, not diploid like me and Bart!
 * Bart: Yeah! [high-fives Homer]


 * Jimbo: Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second grade babies.
 * Bart: Why would I want to?
 * Jimbo: Because I said "I dare you". Kearney, can you read it back?
 * Kearney: (reading) "Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second-grade babies. Bart: Why would I want to? Jimbo: Because I said 'I dare you.' Kearney, can you read it back? Kearney, reading: Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to.."
 * Jimbo: The point is, Simpson, a dare has been placed on your nards.
 * Bart: My nards accept.