To Heir I$ Homer/Quotes


 * Homer: Marge, we're home. Is dinner ready?
 * Marge: Just about. Homey, that's not Grampa!
 * Homer: This is Sam.
 * Marge: Homer this was supposed to be family dinner.
 * Homer: But, Marge, they're both old! What's the difference?
 * Marge: [MOAN]
 * Samuel T. Duff: Something sure smells good.
 * Bart (whisper): It sure isn't Sam.


 * Bart: Hey! They're interrupting the clowniest clown on Earth for some lousy grown-up story.
 * Lisa: Be quiet, Bart. Special reports herald monumental occasions in one's life. It could be an an-nonucment of a precedent-setting change in foregin policy, the discovery of a cure for a previously incurable dsease, or..
 * Kent Brockman: We interrupt this program quite frankly... Heh, heh because we can!
 * Lisa: ...a flagrant display of the news media's totalitarian grip on the airwaves.
 * Kent Brockman: Our top story this morning concerns Samuel T. Duff, reclusive billionaire founder of the Duff Beer empire!
 * Lisa: Look, it's Sam!
 * Marge: Oh, my good-newss!
 * Bart: Wow! Who'd'a thoguht that hitch-hiking hobo would turn out to be a billionaire? I sure didn't see that coming!


 * Mr. Burns: Hmmmm, makes you wonder if that's what the founding fathers really had in mind when they came up with that whole "freedom" concept. Who is the Homer Simpson?
 * Waylon Smithers: He's one of our safety inspectors.
 * Mr. Burns: Well, he's fired! Now let's see him try to live on a measly billion dollars!


 * Homer: Mr. Burns! What are you doing here?
 * Mr. Burns: Surprise, Simpson. Meet the proud owner of forty-nine percent of Duff industries.
 * Homer:Who?
 * Mr. Burns: Me, you idiot!
 * Homer: Oh, what a minute... let's see, forty-nine percent... out of one hundred percent.... carrty the one...
 * Homer (whisper): Marge, if he owns forty-nine per...
 * Marge (whisper): You own fify-one percent.
 * Homer: D'oh! I knew it was too good to be true.
 * Sound: WAP!
 * Lisa: Dad, you own more.
 * Homer: Woo hoo! I own more! I own more!


 * Marge: Three hundred dollars is a lot of money, Homey. We can still carpet the basement.
 * Homer: It's not the money, Marge. It's that I failed.... again! And at something as simple as running a billion dollar beer empire.