Lisa Simpsons's Sure-Fine, All Purpose, Feeble Yet Effective, Excuses for Getting Out of Gym Class

Lisa Simpsons's Sure-Fine, All Purpose, Feeble Yet Effective, Excuses for Getting Out of Gym Class is a list over excuses for getting out of gym class by Lisa from The Lisa Book.

List

 * I am suffering from Athlete's Block
 * I left my defibrillator at home
 * I'm a devout anti-recreationist
 * My right Kidney is on the fritz
 * I have an hangnail
 * The gym is built on an ancient Indian burial ground
 * My arches have fallen, and I can't get up
 * I wish to exercise my right not to exercise
 * My get up and go got up and went
 * My therapist says getting picked last for teams has irreparably damaged my self-esteem
 * My kneecap is swollen from my nightly prayers for more school gym funds
 * The maharishi advises retreat from the physical world
 * I threw my back out doing mental gymnastics
 * I have Tennis Elbow, Swimmer's Ear, Housemaid's Knee, and Athlete's Foot
 * The bench needs warming
 * My religious beliefs do not permit me to engage in self-gratifying competition
 * I can't afford to be smarter and in better shape than the rest of my family. I'll never hear the end of it
 * When the going gets tough, I get tachycardia