Twenty-Four Hours a Day

"Twenty-Four Hours a Day" is the fourth track of The Yellow Album. It is sung by Apu and The Squishees. The song was written by John Boylan, Jeff Martin, Mike McKnight, and Jai Winding.

Lyrics

 * Apu:
 * Hello, baby. It is Apu to whom you are speaking. What's that, baby? You are proposing we have a cookout at the beach then tear a page from the Kamma Sutra 'til the sun rises over the Eastern Sea?  Sorry, baby.  That's impossible.  I run a convenience store, and baby, you know what that's like.


 * Got to sell the road maps,
 * Got to move the twelve packs.
 * I'm printing out the tickets for the lottery.


 * Move out all the Trail Mix.
 * Make room for the beef sticks!
 * Informing all the punks: "This is not a library!"


 * Hey! Yes, we have some string cheese!
 * I'll have to check those ID's!
 * We're running out of Half-n-Half and Sweet 'n' Low! Oh!


 * Would you like some jerky?
 * It comes in beek or turkey!
 * You see what I am up to baby; I can't go!


 * I'm working


 * Apu and Back-Up Singers:
 * Twenty-four hours a day!
 * That don't leave no time left to play!
 * We're open twenty-four hours a day!
 * That don't leave no time left to play!


 * Apu:
 * No! No! No!


 * Hey, if I deserted my post, who would be refilling the jalepeno receptor? You? I don't think so.


 * I make coffee for the riff-raff:
 * Regular and decaf;
 * 8 ounce, 12 ounce, 20 ounce.
 * One for the road, sir?


 * Heat-lamp dogs and Cheetos,
 * Microwave burritos!
 * Obey the printed warning, or it's sure to explode!


 * I sit out front the magazines
 * In which the subject matter's clean,
 * Behind the counter, the adult variety!


 * Back-Up Singers:
 * Ay-yah!


 * Apu:
 * Heh! It won't help to make a fuss,
 * I do not make change for the bus.
 * To use the restroom, you must be an employee!


 * I'm working


 * Apu and Back-Up Singers:
 * Twenty-four hours a day!
 * That don't leave no time left to play!
 * We're open twenty-four hours a day!
 * That don't leave no time left to play!


 * Apu:
 * No! No! No!


 * Apu and Back-Up Singers:
 * Twenty-four hours a day!
 * That don't leave no time left to play!


 * Apu:
 * No, it don't.


 * Apu and Back-Up Singers:
 * Twenty-four hours a day-ay!
 * That don't leave no time left to play!


 * Apu:
 * No! No! No! Yes! Yes! No!


 * (music becomes slower)


 * I came to this country
 * From a far away subcontinent
 * With dreams to make a fortune
 * In the movie industry!
 * But instead, I'm making Squishees
 * In a checkered dress.
 * Oh, how I wish the camera on the ceiling
 * Wasn't just there for security!


 * (tempo increases to original)


 * Oh, oh! Alright, I feel much better now! I felt a little sad there; now I'm very happy again. Oh. Oh, this is good. Yes, I like this, this is my favorite part of the song! Yes, my great-aunt Pirani used to dance to this. She used to work it on out. This is very funky part now.


 * I'm working.


 * Apu & Back-Up Singers:
 * Twenty-four hours a day!
 * That don't leave no time left to play!
 * We're open twenty-four hours a day!
 * That don't leave no time left to play!


 * Apu:
 * No! No! No! No! No! No!


 * (back-up singers repeat chorus over the following)


 * Hello, steady customer! Okay, let's see...that's..one packet of potency vitamins, three tins of smokeless tobacco and one box of honey-glazed popcorn clusters. That'll be...nothing because you're carrying a gun! Oh, here we go again. Please, sir, I ask that if you tie me up, you use the nylon rope; it feels so much softer against my skin than the other kind. Yes, you'll find it in back between the video games and the non-dairy creamer. Please, sir, oh, thank you very much. Okay, have a nice day! Come again!