So Dumb (Homer's Lament)

"So Dumb (Homer's Lament)" is a track off of Dan Castellaneta's second album I Am Not Homer. It is the only track on the album that actually has anything to do with The Simpsons. It features a majority of the major characters that Castellaneta plays on the show including Homer, Grampa, Barney, Groundskeeper Willie and Krusty. The song was written by Castellaneta.

Lyrics

 * Curt:
 * Alright, Homer, studio's all yours.


 * Homer:
 * Thanks, Curt.


 * (cymbals are heard crashing)


 * Grampa:
 * Why did you take me out of the home? What is this place?


 * Homer:
 * It's a recording studio, Dad. I want you to sing on my record.


 * Groundskeeper Willie:
 * Don't play with those!


 * Barney:
 * I'm not playin', I fell backwards.


 * Groundskeeper Willie:
 * Oh, sorry.


 * Barney:
 * Uh-oh, some rock musician puked in here last night!


 * Grampa:
 * Ewww!


 * Groundskeeper Willie:
 * I'm not cleanin' it up.


 * Barney:
 * (sniffs) Wait, it's mine.


 * Homer:
 * Barney!


 * Krusty:
 * Hey, what's goin' on here?


 * Homer:
 * Oh, hi, Krusty. We're laying in the background vocals of my hit song.


 * Krusty:
 * Hey, I'm s'posed to have this studio to record my new doll, Talking Krusty.


 * Homer:
 * Oh, I'm sorry, Krusty, but we do have the studio from 8:05 to 8:10.


 * Groundskeeper Willie:
 * That's right, clown.


 * Krusty:
 * All right. I'm gonna be across the street banking a few business transactions and I'll be back.  And once I'm here, you're outta here.


 * Homer:
 * Okay, we better hurry up, guys. Now, let's hear your parts.


 * (everyone sings in imperfect harmony)


 * Homer:
 * Good...good...alright, well, when I put a reverb on it, it'll sound great. Hey, Barney, what are you doin'?


 * Barney:
 * Settin' up my tape recorder.


 * Homer:
 * What for?


 * Barney:
 * I'm gonna record this session.


 * Homer:
 * What?


 * Barney:
 * Yeah, I'm gonna bootleg the record.


 * Groundskeeper Willie:
 * Bootleg?


 * Homer:
 * No bootlegging!


 * Barney:
 * But—


 * Homer:
 * Turn it off!


 * Barney:
 * But, Ho—


 * Homer:
 * Turn it off!


 * Barney:
 * All right.


 * Homer:
 * Alright, now. I'm gonna go in the booth and when you guys hear the bass dealey, you start singing.


 * Barney:
 * Okay, Homer.


 * Groundskeeper Willie:
 * Alright, I understand.


 * Grampa:
 * What're we supposed to do?


 * Groundskeeper Willie:
 * Quiet.


 * Homer:
 * Okay, where's it? Oh, here it is.  This is "So Dumb: Background Vocals, Take One."


 * (bass plays and the boys start to sing)


 * Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
 * Aaaahhhhhhhhh...
 * Aaaahhhhhhhhh...


 * Homer:
 * The nuclear plant
 * Is the reason I can't
 * Make a baby with Marge anymore.


 * The reason I'm fat,
 * So they tell me, is that
 * I eat eight meals instead of just four.


 * Or because my children
 * Are loud and burdensome.


 * But somehow my brain's
 * At a loss to explain
 * The reason I've gotten so dumb.


 * Maybe it's beer
 * Ev'ry day of the year
 * That is killing the cells in my brain.


 * Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
 * Ooh-wah-ahhhh


 * Homer:
 * And if that is true,
 * Then what else can I do
 * If it's beer that is really to blame?


 * Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
 * Ooh-wah-ahhhh


 * Homer:
 * I have to stop beer drinking
 * And switch to gin or rum.


 * But if I could choose,
 * Forget brains! I'll take booze!
 * Tell me how have I gotten...


 * Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
 * So dumb!


 * Grampa:
 * Don't be so glum
 * About being dumb.


 * Homer:
 * My father told me once.


 * Grampa:
 * Son, it's okay,
 * Go out and play
 * With all the other runts.


 * You are just fine.
 * I really don't mind
 * All your stupid stunts.


 * Just wear a hat,
 * Your pointy hat
 * Indicating you're a dunce!


 * (Grampa, Barney and Willie vocalize)


 * Homer:
 * I am so stupid!...I said, "I am so stupid!"...You're supposed to say, "How stupid am I?"...I'll wait...Did you say, "How stupid are you?"...I am so stupid that if I ever had a...Whenever I would...D'OH!


 * I have to say, "D'oh!"
 * 'Cuz I really don't know
 * Who my congressman is to this day.


 * Hate that it's sad,
 * But, hey, it's not so bad,
 * 'Cuz I really don't vote anyway.


 * I can't think of the lyrics.
 * I guess I'll have to hum.


 * La da dee da da da
 * I forgot to wear pants
 * Tell me da da da dee dee...


 * Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
 * So dumb!


 * Homer:
 * My kids are all smart,
 * Maggie, Lisa and Bart
 * And the dog and the cat laugh at me.


 * Well, they really don't laugh.
 * I just made that part up.
 * So forget what I said. Nevermind.


 * Now what was I just singing?
 * I know it rhymes with "dumb".


 * Was it crumb, was it bum,
 * Or about bubblegum?
 * I forgot. Now sometimes I'm...


 * Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
 * So dumb!


 * Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
 * Eat donuts, eat donuts,
 * Eat donuts, eat donuts, etc.


 * La, la la, la, la, la
 * La, la la, la la, etc.


 * Krusty:
 * All right, I'm back from the off track betting place. Are you finished?


 * Homer:
 * I'm almost finished, Krusty. Gonna fade out right here.


 * Krusty:
 * Well, hurry up, I haven't got all day!


 * Homer:
 * (trying to get Willie, Grampa and Barney's attentions) Okay, guys, that's enough! Wait a minute!  How come they can't hear me?


 * Krusty:
 * Press the talkback button.


 * Homer:
 * Which one is it?


 * Krusty:
 * Do I look like an engineer?


 * Homer:
 * I'll try this one. Guys, guys!


 * Krusty:
 * Try that button.


 * Homer:
 * Guys! Guys, can you hear me? How about this button?


 * Krusty:
 * No, that's not workin', they can't hear ya. Hey!  Hello!


 * Homer:
 * What does this knob do?


 * Krusty:
 * You mean the one that says, "Don't Touch"?! Don't touch it!


 * (too late because the tape starts speeding up)


 * Homer:
 * What happens if I do? It—Wait a minute!  Stop it!  Stop the tape machine!!


 * Krusty:
 * I dunno how to stop it!


 * Homer:
 * It's eating up the tape!!! Oh!


 * (Willie, Grampa, and Barney are still singing)


 * Guys...Guys! I just ruined the tape!


 * Barney:
 * Homer's wavin' at us! What is it, Homer?  Quiet, guys!


 * Groundskeeper Willie:
 * Quiet, guys! Shut it!


 * (they stop singing)


 * Grampa:
 * What th—?


 * Barney:
 * What's wrong, Homer?


 * Grampa:
 * What's going on?


 * Groundskeeper Willie:
 * What's wrong?


 * Homer:
 * Oh, Barney, I ruined the tape. (everyone groans) The machine ate up all the tape.


 * Groundskeeper Willie:
 * Well, that's it for me.


 * Barney:
 * Don't worry, Homer.


 * Grampa:
 * I could've been home watching Matlock.


 * Homer:
 * Why?


 * Barney:
 * 'Cause I never turned off my tape recorder. I have it all on my own tape recorder!


 * Groundskeeper Willie:
 * Ach! He's right!


 * Homer:
 * Oh, Barney, thank goodness for you!


 * Groundskeeper Willie:
 * Thank goodness for you!


 * Homer:
 * Sometimes I'm so dumb!


 * Grampa:
 * You got that right!


 * Barney:
 * Aw, Homer, you're not dumb. You wrote the song, didn't ya?


 * Homer:
 * Yeah.


 * Barney:
 * And you got a record company to release it.


 * Groundskeeper Willie:
 * That's right.


 * Homer:
 * Hey, you're right.


 * Barney:
 * And you're gonna get a lot of royalties from it.


 * Homer:
 * Royalties?


 * Barney:
 * You know, money. Homer?


 * (pause)


 * Homer:
 * D'OOOOHHHH!!!


 * Grampa:
 * I'm gonna take a nap.