Three Gays of the Condo/Quotes

I wonder what Mom came up with for this week's Family Wednesday? I hope it's as fun as Pictionary was last week! Dad, we weren't playing Pictionary. That was an intervention to stop your drinking.

The box says it's the perfect way to spend a day. And why would a box lie to a person? [she empties the puzzle onto the floor] The first step is the funnest - turning all the pieces face-up. Go crazy, dorks! I got better things to do. [he opens the door and Milhouse is there] [holding a rock tumbler] Hey, Bart! I fixed my rock tumbler! What do you say we turn this baby lose on some feldspar? [closing the door on Milhouse] I'm in.

[playing an arcade game while drunk] Marge, I need both hands for this game. Can you feed me nachos while I play? Why don't you stop playing? Tell that to the brave crew of the "S.S. Triangle"! [he is playing Asteroids] Evil rocks... take that! Homer, I really don't want to feed you. Come on! You're always saying we should do things as a couple.

Ooh... that's quite a thingama-jigsaw! But, it looks like your missing a piece. Looks like you're missing a wife. Heh-heh-heh. I walked right into that one.

I can't believe our family finished a project this complicated. It's the only worthwhile thing I've ever made that wasn't Lisa. [Maggie gives him a dirty look] Prove me wrong, !

Oh, so you don't like it when I drink? What other secrets have you been hoarding to use against me? Homer, let it go! It's not always going to be perfect. We've been married for ten years. Oh, I didn't realize you had been counting the years! Is it that horrible living with me?! Well, this morning isn't a barrel of laughs! It is to me! Marge, I can't live like this! I'm tired of walking around on eggshells! Maybe if you didn't throw them on the floor! [standing on scattered eggshells] Now you're just making up rules! Who made you Judge Judy and executioner?

Dad, where are you going? Kids, sometimes when a daddy learns that a mommy always hated him, he needs some time away to think. But, you're not going to get divorced like Milhouse's parents, are you? Oh-ho, no. This is nothing like Milhouse's parents. Now, if you need me, I'll be staying with Milhouse's father.

Are you trying to tell me that you guys are those guys that like guys? That's right, Homer. We're gay! You are? Hmm... Which will win out? My old-fashioned prejudices or the fact that I've already mixed my laundry with yours?

Uch. Where'd you buy this? From the guy at the exit ramp? This is disgusting! Calm down "Picky Ricardo". He made us a great breakfast, and you're just riding his butt... and not in the good way.

Grady, are jou sure jou want to live with him? It's either him or that girl who put "Mother Earth" as a reference. And with a male roommate, we can walk around naked. Way ahead of you! [he drops his robe and exits]

Mom, I know dad cares about you, but his feelings are really hurt. Why don't you just say you're sorry? Lisa, marriage is a beautiful thing, but it's also a constant battle for moral superiority. So I can't apologize. Couldn't you just say you're sorry and not mean it? I do it all the time! I don't think I've ever meant it. Bart, that's not right! [apologetically] Sorry, mom. [snapping his fingers] See, it's that easy.

I didn't think it was possible, but watching him makes me more lesbian. Lesbian? This isn't my army reunion. [dressed in military clothes] You're coming home with me. [saluting] Yes, colonel.

"Weird Al" Yankovic?! Homer, Marge wrote me about what happened. And, as soon as her check cleared, I was on the first reasonably priced flight here. Did you ever get those parody songs I sent you? [sighs] Yes. Which one was better? "Livin' La Pizza Loca" or "Another One Bites the Crust"? They were pretty much the same, Homer. [grumbling] Yeah, like you and.

Homer, weren't you supposed to meet your wife half an hour ago? D'oh! You guys don't have a gay time machine do you? Jes. It's called Grady's shoe closet. Hey, Julio? Ouch.

You know, Moe, I was just thinking. My problems with Marge started because I drink too much. And then tonight, alcohol only made things worse. Maybe all my problems are actually caused by... [showing a beer bottle down Homer's throat] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take ya medicine, ya lush ya.


 * [Marge kisses Homer.]

That was the best kiss I had tonight! [thought] Or was it? Homie? What are you thinking? [quickly] Manly thoughts.
 * [They kiss again.]