Moaning Lisa/Quotes

I didn't do it. No one saw me do it. No one can prove anything.

Lisa, there's no room for crazy bebop in "My Country 'tis Of Thee!" But, Mr. Largo, that's what "My Country" is all about. What? I'm wailing out for the homeless family living out of its car. The Iowa farmer, whose land has been taken away by unfeeling bureaucrats. The West Virginia coal miner, coughing up his... Well, that's all fine and good, but Lisa, none of these unpleasant people are going to be at the recital next week.

It doesn't matter how you feel inside, you know. It's what shows up on the surface that counts. Take all your bad feelings and push them down, all the way down, past your knees, until you're almost walking on them. And then you'll fit in, and you'll be invited to parties, and boys will like you... and happiness will follow.

Lisa, I apologize to you, I was wrong, I take it all back. Always be yourself. If you want to be sad, honey, be sad. We'll ride it out with you. And when you get finished feeling sad, we'll still be there. From now on, let me do the smiling for both of us.
 * [The two smile and embrace.]

Okay, mom. I said you could stop smiling, Lisa. I feel like smiling!

In the red trunks, with the record of 48 wins and no losses, the undisputed champ of this house, battling Bart Simpson! Whoopee! Woo-woo-woo! And, in the lavender trunks, with a record of zero wins and 48 defeats, oh, correction: humiliating defeats - all of them by knockout... Must you do this every time? Homer "The Human Punching Bag" Simpson.

[in a dream] What the?!?! [Homer is a video boxing character] [his opponent] Put up your dukes, Homer. Agggh! Bart! Go easy on me! I'm your Dad! I am going easy on ya. [pow] You're so old, [pow] and slow, [pow] and weak, [pow] and pathetic. [winds up for the kill] No! Son! No! [the fist impacts, [wakes up screaming] Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!

Is Jock there? Who? Jock, last name Strap. Hold on. [calling out] Jock Strap! Hey, guys, I'm looking for a Jock Strap!

My friends call me "Bleeding Gums." Eugh! How'd you get a name like that? Well, let me put it this way. You ever been to the dentist? Yeah. Not me. I suppose I should go to one, but I got enough pain in my life as it is.

The blues isn't about making yourself feeling better, it's about making other people feel worse.

You know you play pretty well for someone with no real problems.

Lisa, get away from that jazzman! [to Bleeding Gums] Nothing personal. I just fear the unfamiliar.


 * [Lisa is singing a blues song she wrote.]
 * I got a bratty brother
 * He bugs me every day
 * And this morning my own mother
 * She gave my last cupcake away
 * My dad acts like he belongs
 * He belongs in the zoo
 * I'm the saddest kid in grade number two

Sorry Dad, women and children first [slams door] What?! [keeps pounding door as Bart laughs]