Breaking Bart/Quotes


 * Marge: We're so proud of you, sweetie! What a wonderful evening!
 * Homer: Yeah, if it wasn't for these school events, I'd never get as many naps in!
 * Lisa: The best part is... now I get to go to the out-of-state semifinals!
 * Seymour Skinner: Yes, about that...
 * Agnes: What Seymour's trying to say is that he's about to disappoint you. Welcome to my world!
 * Seymour Skinner:Lisa, the school just doesen't have the money to send you to the semifinals.
 * Lisa: But we've been doiung those bake sales and can drivers all year!
 * Seymour Skinner: We needed a tax rebate and ended up donating that money to a chairty that sends overprivileged children to camp.


 * Bart: Check it out! Apu's busy taking the prizes out of cereal boxes to sell separately. Quick! Let's make an all-syrup squishee.
 * Milhouse: What a minute didn't we have an all-syrup squishee before? And then bad things happened?
 * Bart: Thanks to the Internet, my long-term memory is pretty much gone. I'll look it up later and see if we did it before.


 * Apu: Here comes a regular customer. Whatch as I try to upsell him.
 * Clancy Wiggum: Hey, Apu, have you got any of those big chocolate bars they sell in movie theaters?
 * Apu: Indeed. In aisle three and...
 * Bart: ...and we're having a special! Buy five and get the sixth one for the regular price!
 * Clancy Wiggum: Sold!
 * Apu: You have impressed me with your deceptive salesmansship.
 * Bart: I have a fat dumb guy I practice on at home.


 * Professor Frink: Lisa Simpson, you have met your match with my mighty math-bot! It can answer any question [Ga-hoy!]
 * Lisa: Very well math-bot, what is love?
 * Mighty Math-Bot: Math-bot does not understand love! Shutting down! Shutting down!
 * Professor Frink: Sweet neil degrasee tyson!


 * Lisa: I'm giving up math club. My only regret is that I was so close to having enough money for my trip to the semifinals!
 * Bart: Maybe it's the sleep deprivation talking, but you can have whatever's in this envelope.