Lisa the Drama Queen/Quotes


 * Bart: Why do we have to go to the Rec Center? I wanna play with my friends!
 * Homer: When you're older, you'll miss these fun activities.
 * Lisa: You're older. Why don't you do these fun activities?
 * Homer: Uh, 'cause no one's making me. Buh-bye.


 * Comic Book Guy: Welcome to Shaolin Kung Fu. Ten thousand years of knowledge will be passed along to those whose parents have signed a permission slip. The rest of you have just purchased very expensive pajamas.


 * Lisa: I need some candy for a first playdate, but I don't want to come on too strong.
 * Bart: M&M's?
 * Lisa: Well... if I pick plain, she'll think I'm cheap, but if I pick peanut, she may have an allergy. You just killed her, Bart!
 * Bart: How about ?
 * Lisa: What is this, Brooklyn in the '50s? Don't just say stuff.
 * Bart: You ask for my help, then you don't want it.
 * Apu: Excuse me, but why not consider an Almond Joy? It looks like you bought something for yourself, but then you just happen to have two pieces.
 * Lisa: Finally, a real suggestion.
 * Bart: If she doesn't like coconut, you're screwed!


 * Juliet Hobbes: So, what do you want to do?
 * Lisa: I don't know, it's been so long since I've had a playdate. Not that I couldn't get one if I wanted.
 * Juliet: My parents bought me a membership card to the Folk Art Museum.
 * Lisa: Does it get you into special exhibits?
 * Juliet: On Wednesdays.
 * Lisa: [gasps] That's today!


 * Lisa: Hey, mom, can Juliet sleep over?
 * Marge: Are your parents okay with that? They've never met us.
 * Bart: We could be murderers.
 * Homer: Could've been. If we hadn't had kids.


 * Marge: Now remember, Juliet's family is very classy, so be on your best behavior.
 * Homer: Use as many big words as possible. I call "computer". Bart, you can have "doorbell".


 * Professor Hobbes: Homer, isn't it wonderful that my Juliet and your Lisa have become such fast friends?
 * Homer: Heh, heh. If you say so, M'lord.
 * Mrs. Hobbes: Dinner's ready!
 * Homer: If you'll show me to your bathroom, I'd like to pretend to wash my hands.


 * Homer: Hey, could you take a look at this lump on my back?
 * Professor Hobbes: I'm not that kind of doctor!
 * Homer: Oh, I get it. Here's ten bucks.
 * [Professor Hobbes takes the money then looks at Homer's back]
 * Professor Hobbes: That's chewing gum.
 * Homer: [bitter] What a racket.