Laughter is the Worst Medicine/Quotes


 * Bart: Homer, I've never been producer of you than I am right now.
 * Marge: Bart, I wish you wouldn't encourage your father to entter binge-eating contests.
 * Bart: But his isn't just any eat-a-thon, mom. It's the triple crown!
 * Marge: Mmmmmmmm.
 * Bart: It's apple, hot dog and oyster shucking and eating contest.
 * Marge: Hrmmm. That means I'll be up all night. I know how Homer gets when he eats oysters.


 * Lisa: How's dad?
 * Dr. Hibbert: Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is the damage to the brain was isolated to a very small area. The bad news is that is seems Homer overloaded the food pleasure center of his brain.
 * Marge: Which means?
 * Homer: I'll never enjoy food again.
 * Lisa, Bart, & Marge: [GASP!]


 * Marge: Homer, did you want the regular or BBQ pork rinds?
 * Homer: Whatever.
 * Lisa: Look on the bright side, mom. Dad is slimming down.
 * Marge: Every pound he loses tells the whole town that I'm a wife who can't fulfil her husbands's needs. Look at all those judgemental gazes! Agnes Skinner. Helen Lovejoy. Maude Flanders. Maude Flanders?
 * Ned: What? Sometimes I like to dress in Maude's clothes to remember her better. There's nothing in the bible against it.


 * Hyman Krustofsky: So it is true.
 * Krusty: Papa!
 * Hyman Krustofsky: My son, the Doctor! You've made me the happiest Rabbi in all of Springfield and the greater tri-city area.
 * Krusty: It's just until Dr. Huxtable and Quacky von Malpractice are back on their feet.
 * Hyman Krustofsky: So if they don't make it, you'll never go back to clowing?
 * Krusty: I guess not.
 * Dr. Hibbert: Get him out of here! He was trying to pull the plug on us.
 * Hyman Krustofsky: It look frayed. I was just checking for faulty wiring.


 * Dr. Hibbert: Attention everyone! I'm back. And to a lesser extent, so is Dr. Nick.
 * Dr. Nick: Hi, everybody! All right, that's a little creept.
 * Dr. Hibbert: See here, we're the real doctors!
 * Ms. Hoover: Will you two keep it down? We're here to see Krusty. He's a better doctor than the two of you ever were!
 * Eddie: Yeah, you never even made me giggle once during my colonoscopy!
 * Dr. Hibbert: I... I guess we're not needed anymore.
 * Dr. Nick: Bye, everydoy.