'Tis the Fifteenth Season/Quotes

Are you jealous of Brother Homer? Maybe just a little bit. I'm jealous of girls 'cause they get to wear dresses. One problem at a time, boy.

Now in the spirit of the holiday season, start shopping! And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, "sick kids" may include hookers with a cold.

Hey, Homer. I'm your secret Santa. Merry Christmas, big guy. [he hands Homer a DVD player] Oh, my god! A DVD player! And the first season of  [he shows him the DVD boxsets], with commentary by John Hillerman. Apparently, working in Hawaii was a pleasure. Oh, Carl, you remembered I like TV.