Lisa's Wedding/Quotes

'Zounds, I did thee mightily smite-ly. "'Zounds" is a renaissance English word, short for "God's Wounds." But uh, "smite-ly," that's pure Flanders!

Yon meat 'tis sweet as summer's wafting breeze. Can I have some? Mine ears are open only to the pleas of those who speak ye old English. Sweet maiden of the spit, grant now my boon, that I mightst sup on suckling pig this noon. Whatever.

I can't believe how much we have in common. We're both studying the environment, we're both utterly humorless about our vegetarianism, and we both love the Rolling Stones. Yes, not for their music, but for their tireless efforts to preserve historic buildings.

And I love that painting. Judging by the clothes, I'd say seventeenth century. Actually, Lisa, it's just uncle Eldred. I get me brain medicines from the National 'Ealth.

Homer, don't take this personally, but I've obtained a court order to prevent you from planning this wedding.

Oh, Mr. Burns, we'll thaw you out the second they discover the cure for seventeen stab wounds in the back. How're we doing, boys? Well, we're up to fifteen!

Lisa, darling, don't worry. I'm sure I'll get along with your family. You've so thoroughly prepared me for the worst, as long as they're not squatting in a ditch poking berries up their noses... And if they are?

You can be the first to try out the new guest bedroom I built. Remember, if the building inspector comes by, it's not a room, it's a window box.

So, Hugh. Have you heard all the latest American jokes? Uh, here's a good one. Pull my finger. Yes, we have that one in England too, Mr. Simpson. I said, pull my finger.

You know, Fox turned into a hard-core sex channel so gradually, I didn't even notice.

I'm sorry I left you alone with Homer and Bart. No, no, honey. We had a fine time. How did you get that gash on your forehead? Oh, that was when we hid in the dumpster after the fire alarm went off in the pornographic magazine warehouse.

Wow, Lisa. Looking at you makes me want to get married for a third time. I met a really nice exotic dancer the other night at Hugh's bachelor party. Hugh didn't have a bachelor party. We had one in his honor. I had one in his honor. I went to a strip club.

Lisa, Lisa! Where were you!? You missed the most incredible thing! Hi, Dad. I ate seven pounds of fudge! Wow! The man at the stand said it was a record! Wow. What else did you do, Dad? I rode the teacups! Then I got a little sick and I had to sit down. But then I rode 'em again!