Pen Pals/Quotes


 * Seymour Skinner: Handwritten letters. A dead art? A remnant of obsolete technology? The past incarnate? Well, at Springfield Elementary they are today's education innovation! Each student will be assigned a foreign pen pal. Your assignment? Werite to them, ask questions, and learn about a different culture! At the end of the month, you will give a presenation on what you've learned!
 * Lisa: Ooh! A presenation!
 * Bart: Oh, brother!
 * Seymour Skinner: And while emails might faster, using the postal service adds a personal touch that you can't put a price on. Also, be aware that the school is not providing postage stamps.


 * Lisa: ...and Svetlana says that next week is the annual "Festival of Chafing" where Lichtenslavians only wear sandpaper!
 * Bart: Maybe you could [SNICKER!] wear a sandpaper dress for your presenation?
 * Lisa: Yes! Wearing traditional garb might get me a better grade! I'll go to the hardware store tomorrow.


 * Bart: Wow, The whole school is out here. You know, Lisa, you don't have to do this if you don't want to.
 * Lisa: Is there anything you want to tell me, Bart?
 * Bart: I... well... uh... I just want you to do a great job?
 * Seymour Skinner: And now, I'm proud to present Lisa Simpson!
 * Lisa: Okay then. Wish me luck!


 * Lisa: Ladies and gentleman, I give you my pen pal... Bart Simpson! Bart, did you really think I'd believe that the Lichtenslavian national dance is the macarena? A basic Google Search told me otherwise!
 * Bart: But how did you know it was me?
 * Lisa: Well, you kept misspelling the name of the country, also, there were Squishee stains on all the letters. The main tip-off was that you used our home adress on the return adress labe.
 * Bart: D'oh!
 * Seymour Skinner: Well, it look as though Lisa did, in fact, learn about a foreign culture that's much different than her own. "A" plus!


 * Bart: I'm sorry, Lis. I just wanted to mess with you.
 * Lisa: Well, you sure did. I hope it was worth it. I feel bad for your pen pal. You never wrote back! You should at least read the ltter they sent.
 * Bart: It's says he's a Nigerian Prince who needs my help getting his money out of the country. If i send him $500, he will give me a share of both his fortune and his undying friendshop. ugh. I guess you can even get scammed via snail mail these days.
 * Nigerian Prince: Why, oh why, doesn't anyone ever want to share in my fortune? I ask fo so little in return!