Steffan August

"Why don't we put on some music?"

- Marge Simpson

"No! No! I need whale songs!"

- Steffan August

Professor Steffan August was a teacher at Springfield University and a love interest of a younger Marge Simpson.

History
Steffan August taught the Cultural History class at Springfield University, which Marge attended. He immediately took an interest in Marge, thinking that the semester got interesting due to her being in his class. When Professor August spoke to Marge outside of class, in front of Homer, Marge took an interest in him too. At home with Homer, Marge begun to imagine Homer as Steffan August, to her surprise. Marge's interest in August then put a strain on her and Homer's relationship.

Professor August then became Marge's advisor for Art History. Marge showed him her work and he told her it was impressive, then told her to call him Steffan. Marge dropped a note she received from Homer, telling her "I miss you". Steffan then tried to twist the meaning of the note, telling Marge that Homer was telling Marge that she was his object. He then told Marge to think about what he told her about her relationship before it's too late.

On a later day, Professor August was showing Marge his dreamcatcher. He told Marge that it had captured his dream, then started chanting. At that moment, Homer came into the office. Homer got annoyed at Marge's relationship with Professor August and left angrily. After this, Homer and Marge broke up. Marge and Steffan then started spending more time together, going on dates. Back at August's house, he showed Marge around. He then put on football and got upset at it, calling it genocide. Marge decided to put on some music to calm him down but August told her that he needed whale songs instead. After this, Professor August asked Marge if he could kiss her, to which she accepted.

On a date at the beach, Marge began to get annoyed at August after he thought lighthouses were bad as they were penis-shaped. They then saw a wedding on the beach, which August compared to slavery. He opposed marriage because he thought it oppressed women. When Marge told him that she would like to get married one day, August told her that statements like that made women seem stupid. August then told Marge he was trying to help her evolve as a person, which annoyed Marge. She called him "Associate Professor Jerk" and stormed off. August yelled after her, saying that he only got denied tenure as his department head was an idiot. Professor Moose then turned up, annoyed at Steffan's insult, and pounded him into the sand.

Personality
Steffan August considers himself very politically correct, thinking that women are oppressed by marriage and hating anything vaguely penis-shaped. He also thought the Founding Fathers were evil as they were all white, Protestant, property-owning males. He also was good at playing mind games, manipulating Marge into letting her think that her relationship with Homer was bad, implying that Homer thought he owned her. Professor August also gets overly emotional at small things, as seen when he thought the football match was "genocide" and started crying at that, needing whale songs to be calmed down.