Gone Abie Gone/Quotes


 * Homer: A poker site is now safer than an American bank. Has our nation-- built on people suing because their onion rings were too hot-- come to this?


 * Marge: Homie, do you know what yesterday was?
 * Homer: Ha! Of course I do! Happy Anni...birth...tine's...shark week?


 * Homer: Hey, Lisa, check out your college fund!
 * Lisa: You put my college fund on a poker site?!
 * Homer: It's a classy operation. See? The little dealer's wearing a bow tie-- cute!
 * Lisa: Well...at least I have a college fund!
 * Homer: On a poker site!
 * Lisa: More importantly, it's a college fund.
 * Homer: On a poker site!


 * Homer: My dad was an aspiring songwriter like Charles Manson? I never knew that.


 * Marge: Hello? Rita Lafleur? Did you know a man named Abe Simpson?
 * Rita LaFleur: Know him? I'm married to him.
 * Marge: Homer, she's married to your dad!
 * Homer: Whoo-hoo! I get two Christmases!


 * Lisa: He didn't fold? But that's insane unless he has... Four threes?! Oh, no! No-no-no-no-no, no! I've lost, I've lost everything.


 * Lisa: Well, back to square one is a major victory in this house, but why did you help me? Come on! Tell me!
 * Bart: Because I actually like you and felt sorry for you.
 * Lisa: What?! You did?
 * Bart: Forget I said anything!
 * Lisa: Sure. I have the ending for my memoir!