Alone Again, Natura-Diddily/Quotes

Now remember, we have to leave nature just the way we found it. Everything we pack in, we pack out. But what if I have to do my business? Use this plastic bag. [moans] How come bears can crap in the woods and I can't?

Oh my God, it's a racetrack! The Bird Sanctuary -- they ruined it! No they didn't. They just surrounded it with something wonderful -- like a raisin covered in chocolate, or a monkey in a cowboy suit.

Start your engines. Show us your boobs, show us your boobs. [nervously] Better do what he says, Marge.

Dang, Cletus, why'd you have to park by my parents? Now honey, they's my parents too.

Hmm, a Ford urinating on a Chevrolet. Don't you usually laugh at everything? [grimly] Yes. Yes, I do.

I need a shirt! Gimme a shirt! Mommy has bosoms like that! [sarcastically] Yeah, I wish.

Neddy, I've had about all I can take of Homer Simpson's torso. I'll get some hot dogs. No foot-longs! I know. They make you uncomfortable.

Why are you taping Flanders, Dad? You'll see... Do you even have a job anymore? I think it's pretty obvious that I don't.

Oh I would date Ned in a second, if I was a woman, or gay. He looks like a cuddler, that Ned. I, I like that. I like to be held. I like to be pampered.

Homer, I'm having second thoughts. This feels so disloyal to Maude. Oh, wake up, Ned. You think Maude isn't dating in Heaven? You think she would? How could she not? The place is full of eligible bachelors -- John Wayne, Tupac Shakur, Sherlock Holmes... Sherlock Holmes is a character. He sure is!

So how'd you do tonight, Romeo? Well, I just can't relate to the women of today, Homer. Ah, it's probably me. I'm about as exciting as a baked potato. You're darn right you are! And you've got lots of other great qualities, too. That's right, Ned. Those floozies we married in Vegas were crazy about you. What floozies? What are you talking... Marge, we're trying to help Ned.

Lord, I never question you...but I've been wondering if your decision to take Maude was, well, wrong... Unless this is part of your divine plan... Could you just give me some kinda sign? Anything? And after all that church chocolate I bought. Which, by the way, was gritty and had that white stuff on it. Well, I've had it.

Uh, that was a lovely song. It really got to me. Been through some rough times yourself? I-I recently lost my wife. I'm real sorry to hear that. We just lost our drummer to a Pentecostal ska band. I know it's not the same, but...