Eat the Pie Slowly/Quotes


 * Lisa: Mom, this is all so irresponsible! Giving "A", as a reward for ding nothing? And how could it be healthy for young bodies to overat like that? Also--
 * Marge: Look It's Bart! My special little winenr! Where should we celebrate? Krustyburger och Krustyburger Express?
 * Lisa: [SIGH] I'll be in the car.
 * Homer: [SIIIIIGH] Me, too.


 * Seymour Skinner: It is my sad duty to announce that Springfield Elementary's star eater, Uter Xorker, will miss the state finals. Why don't you tell the whole city. You're letting the down, Uter?
 * Uter: Uhh can nah taw.
 * Seymour Skinner: Oh, that's right. You can't talk. Your jaw's been wired shut. Did it cross your mind that your might be hurting your team when you were pigging out on hazardous jawbreakers?
 * Uter: Oo gafe emm to mee!
 * Seymour Skinner: It's a little late for apologies, son. Now let's forget about Uter forever and meet his replacement! He'sl half eater and two-thirds defeater! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you.... ...Wendell Borton!
 * Bart: Aye, carumba!


 * Dolph: Bart! We heard about uter!
 * Jimbo: You'd better carry the team now!
 * Kearney: Yeah! Mayor Quimby's promise gave us dreams for the future! When I grow up... ...I'm going to be an acturary!
 * Jimbo: I'm going to be a comptroller!
 * Dolph: I'm going to be an ombudsman!
 * Kearney: So get us those straight "A"s...
 * Jimbo: ...or else!
 * Dolph: Yeah! Or else!


 * Bart: No! I'm never eating food again!
 * Homer: There is much anger in you.
 * Bart: What the--?
 * Homer: You must unlearn all you have learned. The hour has come for the master to teach the apprentice the way of the food.
 * Bart: Really, dad?


 * Dolph: Straight "A"s! Ombudsman school hee I come!
 * Lisa: I got... straight asterisks?
 * Seymour Skinner: Don't tell anyone, Lisa! It's our new grading system. Asterisks replace "A"s and "A" is the new "D."
 * Homer: All "A"s? Let's celebrate, boy!