Number One

"You have joined the Sacred Order of the Stonecutters who since ancient times have split the rocks of ignorance that obscure the light of knowledge and truth. Now let's all get drunk and play Ping-Pong!"

- Number One

"Number One" is the head of the Stonecutters. Not much is known about Number One, except that he is a loyal Stonecutter and rose above the ranks to lead the Springfield chapter. He gleefully subjects new recruits to tortures such as "the crossing of the desert", "the unblinking eye" and "the paddling of the swollen ass... with paddles". He also enjoys presiding over the club's many social gatherings, which include things like ping-pong, ribs, and drinking.

History
Number One oversaw Homer's initiation into the Stonecutters, but then expelled him for desecrating the club's sacred parchment (by using it as a napkin and blowing his nose on it). When Homer was later discovered to be the prophesied "Chosen One" of the Stonecutters, Number One quickly conducted the appropriate ceremonies for Homer's new status. However, Homer made changes which made the club no longer any fun for the other members. Number One then disbanded the Stonecutters and started a new club called "The Ancient Mystic Society of No Homers".

Simpsons Mania
He is security guard at Stark Trek Museum.

Behind the Laughter

 * Stewart's most famous character, Captain from , calls his First Officer  "Number One".
 * Number One received an action figure in World of Springfield: Series 12.