All Singing, All Dancing/Quotes

We got the popcorn! Did you get Waiting to Exhale? Well, they put us on the Waiting to Exhale waiting list, but they said don't hold yer breath.
 * [Homer walks into the living room.]

Did you get Emma? Did you get Emma? Didja, didja, didja, huh? Whoa, whoa. Calm down, little lady. Take it easy, take it easy, heh, heh. No. What did you get? Something very close, exactly along those lines. A Clint Eastwood-Lee Marvin shoot-'em-up Western!
 * ''[Lisa and Marge share an annoyed murmur. Bart puts a tape in the VCR.)

So prepare yourself for the bloody mayhem and unholy carnage of Joshua Logan's Paint Your Wagon. With blood, I bet!
 * [Puts on tape.]

Hey, that's a pretty sorry-lookin' wagon you got there, mister. I reckon it could use a... coat of paint. [calling out happily] Well, what are we waitin' for?
 * [Music starts and the man and outlaw begin dancing.]

[singing] Gonna paint our wagon. Gonna paint it good. We ain't braggin'. We're gonna coat that wood! They're singing! They're singing, Marge! Why aren't they killing each other?
 * [Homer sees something on-screen.]

Wait, wait, wait! Here comes Lee Marvin! Thank God! He's always drunk and violent!
 * [He isn't this time.]

Who knew that Lee Marvin could do such marvelous splits? He's dreamy. Oh, why did they have to screw up a perfectly serviceable wagon story with all that fruity singing? I thought it was toe-tapping fun. Singing is the lowest form of communication. Homer, you sing all the time. No I don't. I hate to rhyme.
 * [Music starts and the family starts to sing.]

You like musicals... don't you, dad? No, I don't. I think they're bad! They're fake, and phony, and totally wrong! Wake up dad, you're singing a song! I wouldn't, I couldn't, I hate that stuff! Now, Homer, listen, I've had enough! In our family videos, we have plainly seen, you're a singing, dancing, entertainment machine.

[singing] Mom was right, you're singing's a sin. You're a Les Misera-blay as Lee Marvi-Ahh!
 * [Homer starts to strangle Bart.]

[singing] Sure, your dad singing could make your hair curl. But you, too, Bart, have sung and danced like a girl. Eep.

[singing] That was pretty bad, Bart, but it could have been worse. You could have been carrying a sequined purse! [singing] I hate to dance, and prance, and sing. That's really more of a Milhouse thing! [singing] I think you move like a young !
 * [Snake jumps in through the window and points a shotgun at the family]

[singing] Ha, nobody move, or I'll blow your heads off!


 * [Snake holds the family at gunpoint.]

[singing] It's a desperate criminal, on the run from the law. Please, spare my children... [singing] And their debt-trousered pa! [singing] A singing family! it's worse than I feared. For hostage purposes, you're just too weird! [spoken] Bye!


 * [Snake jumps back in through the window.]

[singing] Because of you all, I got a tune in my head. And the only way to stop it is to make you all dead! Ugh, I knew I should have shut that window.

[singing] All right, Marge! You've convinced me there are more terrible things than musical comedies where everyone sings!
 * [Lisa, Maggie and Bart form a kick line.]

[singing] There is something worse! [singing] And it really does blow! [singing] When a long-running series does a cheesy clip show!

[singing] I'm back to commit felonious assault. Because your infernal singing just would not halt! [spoken] Actually, we're done. [from now on, all spoken] Done, done. And not a moment too soon. Oh, okay then. Well, then I got no beef with you.
 * [He jumps out the window.]