Krusty Gets Busted/Quotes

What's the matter sir? Never have I seen you look so unhappy while purchasing such a large quantity of ice cream! The reason I look unhappy is 'cause tonight I have to see a slideshow starring my wife's sisters! Or as I call them "The Gruesome Twosome!" [chuckles and accidentally steps on Krusty's foot] Ow! My foot you stupid lousy clumsy...! Sorry pal! [gasps in horror when he sports Krusty holding a handgun and dives head first into a potato chip display] [pointing gun a Apu] Hand over all your money in a paper bag! Yes, yes I know the procedure for armed robbery! I do work in a convenience store you know! [hands over paper bag afterwhich Krusty flees] [to Homer] You can emerge now from my chips. The opportunity to prove yourself a hero is long gone.
 * [Homer gasps with relief]


 * [ Springfield Courthouse. Krusty is being indicted.]

How does the defendant plead? I plead guilty, Your Honor.
 * [Entire courtroom gasps. Defense attorney looks annoyed.]

No, no!
 * [Defense attorney covers microphone and whispers to Krusty.]

Oops, I'm sorry. I plead not guilty, Your Honor. Opening night jitters!


 * [Krusty's trial. Judge Snyder is not yet a judge, instead he is the prosecution attorney. He is attempting to prove Krusty's motivation for robbing the Kwik-E-Mart]

Krusty, will you point out Exhibit B? Huh? Wh-What do you mean? The one with the "B". Uh...Uh... What is the matter, can't you read? [distraught] No, ok?! I'm illiterate!
 * [Courtroom audience and jury gasp]

I do not believe it: the king of children's literacy is himself illiterate! Is it a crime to be unable to read? Well, no, so I will point it out for you. OK, Krusty, this is a "B", and this is Exhibit B. Betting slips! Indicating to this court you have lost substansial amounts of money wagering on sporting games! Is it a crime to wager on sporting games? Yes it is.


 * [ Reverend Lovejoy spearheads a bonfire of all Krusty products]

Krusty dolls for sale, $2! Buy them and burn them!


 * [Homer has confiscated all of Bart's Krusty toys and loaded them in a wheelbarrow.]

Dad, you're giving in to mob mentality! No I am not, I am part of the mainstream, participating with the herd! So come on boy, join the winning team!