Take My Wife, Sleaze/Quotes


 * [Apu has just chased Homer's biker gang away with a broom.]

You promised me no more brooms. I know that is not your way, but we're in America now.

Doctors threw a party at the loony bin, You gotta be crazy if you want to get in,
 * Napoleon is playing his imaginary sax,
 * The dance floor's filling up with maniacs!
 * Let's rock. Do the Mental House rock!
 * Let's rock. Do the Mental House rock!
 * If you'll dance with the Doc,
 * He'll give you electro shock!
 * If you'll dance with the Doc,
 * He'll give you electro shock!
 * Slam! slam! slam!

Oh, I don't know what's the matter with Jimmy. He won't do his homework, he only salutes the flag with one finger, and he comes home every night with other peoples' blood on his shirt. He's a rebel, I tell ya – a rebel without a cause. Just like that boy in that boy in that we saw.

[reading the note from the biker gang] "We had a good time crashing at your pad." Awwww. "PS: We've taken your old lady." D'oh!

I'll show you... [enters Poppa Wheelie's, he picks a spoon and taps a beer glass] Ahem... Okay, we kind of got off on the wrong foot here. Long story short, my "old lady" was –
 * [Some time later...]

Uh –? What th –? Some people never learn. [whack] Ahh!!

Yeah, I did see some bikers drive by here with a blue-haired woman about ten minutes ago. Said they were gonna spend the night at that Crystal Lake camp ground. Section K, space 217. Yeah, I'm sorry I can't be of more help. I guess I'll never find her.

And when you get a job interview, try not to call your employer a punk or a skank. Makes sense. Ohh, don't call him skank. Mrs. Simpson, I killed my pencil. Broke. You broke your pencil. I... broke him. That's right. And what else have we learned? Oh oh, that violence is wrong. Excellent, Ramrod. Civilized people solve their disputes with words.
 * [Homer jumps in screaming and punching.]

Stop! You don't understand!
 * [Homer continues, attacking, punching, and throwing people.]

Marge, what do we do here? Marge, he's using violence. Talk to him. Use your words. Homer... Homer... stop. We've given up our violent ways. We just wanna live peacefully... with your wife. No! My wife is not a dooby... to be passed around! I took a sacred vow on my wedding day to bogart her forever. Oooooh, Homey. There's only one reasonable way to settle this... you and me, in the circle of death. Oh, I just swept the circle of death.