Treehouse of Horror XXIV/Quotes

Oh The Places You’ll D’oh

 * Marge: Now, I'm off to a party, my outfit is chic. It's a Catwoman costume, I'm sure is unique.
 * Comic Book Guy: Wait a second... It's Halloween?
 * Marge: Just rest on the sofa, I'll be home by 10:00.
 * Bart: Can we have some candy?
 * Marge: Just one M&M.


 * Abe: You should not be here when their mother's away!
 * Homer: And you should be dead, you're so wrinkled and gray!
 * Abe: I'll give you the business, you yellow sea cow! This go-getting oldster will... Where am I now?


 * Borax: I am the Borax. I speak for the woods. But I've plastered my likeness on consumer goods.
 * Homer: Sellout!


 * "'Mr.Burns:"' Let this be a lesson to those who love cash; your nice stash of cash could be gone in a flash, if you are awful and nasty and cruel-
 * "'Homer:"' Enough with the lessons, this isn't a school.


 * "'Moe"': I ain't got no candy, I only serve beer. And who said that you could bring minors in here?
 * "'Homer"':Your peanuts are paw through, your beer smells like skunk, and you just pissed off the wrong fat furry drunk!
 * "'Moe"':Hey, hey hey! This is supposed to be a children's story!
 * "'Homer"':Now grab all his money and vodka and gin, and I'll knit a nice nord from his leathery skin.


 * "'Lisa"': We thought we escaped from our psychotic guide, but when we got home he was waiting inside!
 * "'Homer"':I'm staying forever and your stuck with that, 'cause I'm your new daddy, so fatten the ca-oooh
 * "'Homer"':I'm frightened of nothing, not even hell's fires. Just don't let me ever be played by Mike Myers!

Dead and Shoulders

 * Milhouse: Bart, isn't it dangerous to fly your kite by the airport?
 * Bart: Hey, if they get on an airbus, they know they're taking their chances.


 * Bart: I'm alive! All patched up! End of story.
 * Lisa: Actually, there's a little more.
 * Bart: Ay, caramba!


 * Homer: Hey, boy, since you don't need a bedroom anymore, I finally get my man cave.


 * Ralph: That was gonna be my show-and-tell!


 * Therapy teacher: I think we've made some progress here.
 * Homer: Great... Oh, and I have this "two heads for one" coupon.
 * Therapy teacher: Well, that's for lettuce.
 * Homer: How about this one? "One random disorder free with every schizophrenia."
 * Therapy teacher: That's mine, but it's expired.
 * Homer: D'oh!


 * Bart: Now I'll just cut off her annoying head and this body will be all mine. Or we both die. Not really sure what the rules are.


 * Lisa: Why, Bart? I thought we were friends.
 * Bart: A brother can never be friends with his sister.
 * Lisa: Are you really, really sure?
 * Bart: I'm afraid I am.


 * Lisa: I feel your pain, brother.
 * Krusty: Now, I need you to memorize these 10,000 setups by next week.
 * Lisa: Help me, Doctor.
 * Dr. Nick: So this is what successful post-op looks like.

Freaks no Geeks

 * Moe: Hey, torso!
 * Barney: Huh?
 * Moe: What's with the cookies? Even the human snail would've been done by now.
 * Comic Book Guy: I am so sick and tired of people assuming that the human snail is, in some way, slow. Good day!


 * Marge: Mr. Burnsum! You should treat these poor people with respect!
 * Homer: Marge! Get away from those freaks. You belong to me! The dumb, hairless brute.


 * Moe: Excuse me, ma'am, but, uh, I ain't never seen a normal stand up for us.
 * Marge: (sighs) I, too, am a freak. One eye is blue, and the other a pale brown.


 * Homer: And that, kids, is how I met your mother.