'Tis the 30th Season/Quotes

Say, Lis, I couldn't help but notice you're holding a piece of paper. Oh, this piece of paper? Why, it's just my Christmas list, is all. What a coincidence. I also have my Christmas list right here in my hand. Oh, you selfish little gangsters. There's always another shakedown, isn't there? What do you know, Bart? There's only one present on my list. My word, that's reasonable. I, too, only found one present to be list-worthy. Oh, give me the lists.

Our TV may not be smart, but it's street smart.

Why do we have an antenna on an HDTV? I thought it looked cool.

You want a Cup O' Noodles to chase away the chill? How sweet. It's just water. I can't afford the real thing, but if you stare at the label while you drink it, you'd swear there was real chicken powder in there.

Hoy, hoy, hoy. I ride on a pig Don't forget to leave me porridge! Ugh, I've got it set on Norwegian.

Can we please get to our room? We just drove 2,000 miles in four hours. Of course. And thank you for reminding me why I never had kids.

There's no bathtub. Just a combo shower and toilet. We call it a shoilet.

This is cool. Cartoon characters no one's ever heard of. That's Mulberry Mutt, Tremendous Boar and Thelonious Skunk. Does somebody want a hug? No. Oh, I think you do. Really, I don't. Hug the bull, boy. That's right, kid. Legally, you have to initiate it.

Oh, boy. You kids are up early. Bart and I are going to engage in perhaps the most popular Florida tradition... complaining to the manager.

This place is nothing like it looked on the Internet. We can't compete with the big boys. Disney's already laying ground for a new Family Guy World.

Aw. Are you really having a great time? Really? Because I sure as heck am not. No, I'm FaceTiming Milhouse 'cause it's more fun. Whassup? Milhouse, give me something. I'm trapped in The Hall of Vice Presidents. Well, I'm kind of the vice president of us.

Oh, my God. Moe serves Christmas dinner to the old and needy. Yeah, look, it's the one nice thing I do. Ha. Guess old Moe's got a heart. Also, if I turn the rummy away, they might wind up in church. That could turn their life around. That's bad for business.

Dear Lord, we didn't get the gift we wanted, a GL50 9K Smart TV. The place we went was a dump. But isn't Christmas really about being with your family and your bartender? We have traveled many miles to learn there's no place like Moe's. {[qf|Homer}} Amen.