A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love/Quotes

I love Chinatown, although I wish they'd stop picking on Tibet Town.


 * [Bart orders dinner at Bob's Big Buddah.]

[to waiter] Uh... yeah. I'll have the shark butt with butt sauce. Bart! Oh, excellent choice, sir.
 * [Marge realizes shark butt is on the menu.]

Oh.


 * [Lisa's order.]

Uh, how is the Feast of Twelve Delights with Triple Happiness Sauce? Very disappointing. Then I'll have the Sweet and Sour Rice. Oh, very good. Would you like that with the fragrant bee bellies or the cat noses? Neither, thank you. Is there any way we can enhance your dining experience by hurting an animal? No!


 * [Lenny reads his fortune.]

'You are a real winner.' Woo! That fortune really nailed me... and my winning ways.


 * [More fortune cookie fortunes by Homer:]
 * "You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial."
 * "The price of stamps will climb even higher."
 * "You will invent a humorous toilet lid."
 * "Your store is being robbed, Apu."


 * [Burns flirts with Gloria the meter maid.]

You can lift my wiper any day!

You're going to ask her to marry you? Isn't it wonderful? I'm head over heels in love! Are you sure you want to do this so fast? Yes, my biological clock is ticking. I could be dead again soon.

You're looking good, baby! Why did we ever break up? You pushed me out of a moving car. The cops were chasing us. I needed to lighten the load... and, um, protect you.


 * [Snake ties up his hostages. (Gloria and Homer)]

Let me guess. Now you're going to star working him over with the brass knuckles. You are so predictable. You know what would be surprising? A foot massage! Shut up! [he pistol-whips Homer]


 * [The police have surrounded Snake's hideout.]

We're in minute two of this stand-off. What's the situation, Chief? Well, we have an officer sneakin' around the house, Kent. So unless they have a television in there, or can hear my loud talking--
 * [A gunshot is heard. Officer Eddie runs away from the hideout, holding his arm in pain.]

Ow! Ow! Ow! Well, I guess that answers that, doesn't it?


 * [Kent Brockman interviews Gloria after her brush with death.]

I know you've been through a lot, ma'am, but we need you to stand in front of the burning house and say, 'Channel Six is hot, hot, hot!'