The Monorail Song

"The Monorail Song" is sung by Lyle Lanley and the people of Springfield. This song is sung during a town meeting when trying to discuss what to do with some money the town got from Mr. Burns.

Lyrics

 * Lyle Lanley:
 * You know, a town with money's a little like the mule with the spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it.


 * [everyone laughs except Homer who at first doesn't get the joke]


 * Homer:
 * Heh-heh, mule.


 * Lyle Lanley:
 * The name's Lanley, Lyle Lanley. And I come before you good people tonight with an idea.  Probably the greatest—Aw, it's not for you. It's more a Shelbyville idea.


 * Mayor Quimby:
 * Now, wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it.


 * Lyle Lanley:
 * All right. I'll tell you what I'll do.  I'll show you my idea.  I give you the Springfield Monorail!


 * (everyone gasps)


 * I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and, by gum, it put them on the map!


 * Well, sir, there's nothin' on earth like a genuine bona-fide electrified six-car monorail! What'd I say?


 * Ned Flanders:
 * Monorail!


 * Lyle Lanley:
 * What's it called?


 * Patty and Selma Bouvier:
 * Monorail.


 * Lyle Lanley:
 * That's right!
 * Monorail!


 * Cast:
 * Monorail... monorail... monorail... (continue over the following lyrics)


 * Miss Hoover:
 * I hear those things are awfully loud.


 * Lyle Lanley:
 * It glides as softly as a cloud.


 * Apu:
 * Is there a chance the track could bend?


 * Lyle Lanley:
 * Not on your life, my Hindu friend.


 * Barney Gumble:
 * What about us brain-dead slobs?


 * Lyle Lanley:
 * You'll be given cushy jobs.


 * Abraham Simpson:
 * Were you sent here by the devil?


 * Lyle Lanley:
 * No, good sir, I'm on the level.


 * Clancy Wiggum:
 * The ring came off my pudding can.


 * Lyle Lanley;
 * Take my pen knife, my good man.


 * I swear, it's Springfield's only choice!
 * Throw up your hands and raise your voice!


 * All:
 * Monorail...
 * Lyle Lanley:
 * What's it called?
 * Monorail...
 * Once again!
 * Monoraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail!


 * Marge:
 * But Main Street's still all cracked and broken.


 * Bart:
 * Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!


 * All:
 * Monorail...
 * Monorail...
 * Monoraaaaaaaaail!
 * MONORAIL!!


 * Homer:
 * Mono—D'oh!

Behind the Laughter
It is a parody of songs such as "Rock Island" and "Ya Got Trouble" from the musical , where instead of lyrics being sung, they are spoken in a kind of crazy version of Gilbert-and-Sullivan-esque patter.