A Baseball Moment from the Simpsons/Transcripts

Transcripts for A Baseball Moment from the Simpsons.

Baseball Short 1

 * Narrator: And now, a Baseball Moment from the Simpsons!
 * [Lisa and Homer are in the family room, sitting on the couch, watching TV.]
 * Homer: The World Series. If you don't watch this, you don't deserve to be an American.
 * Lisa: Yes, it's like voting in next month's election.
 * Homer: What election?
 * [They both stare blankly at each other.]

Baseball Short 2

 * Narrator: And now, a Baseball Moment from the Simpsons!
 * [Homer, in his vest, is watching TV. Marge is washing a plate, while Santa's Little Helper rests next to the TV.]
 * Homer: Cal Ripken Jr., he played over 2300 games and never missed a day. My hero.
 * Marge: Aren't you supposed to be at work?
 * Homer: I called in sick.
 * Marge: Uh-huh...
 * [Homer gulps down beer.]

Baseball Short 3

 * Narrator: And now, a Baseball Moment from the Simpsons!
 * [Homer is sitting in a hammock in the backyard, drinking lemonade.]
 * Voice: If you build it, they will come.
 * Homer: Huh?
 * ["Later that day..." appears on the screen, and Homer is hammering together pieces of wood on a poorly-constructed bleacher. Another poorly-constructed bleacher appears at the other end of the backyard.]
 * Homer: Well, where are they?
 * Voice: They went next door.
 * [Homer looks over the fence, and sees a stadium, with "Flanders Field" on the wall. Baseball players are lined up to enter the stadium, while noises of the crowd and cracks of baseball bats can be heard from the stadium.]
 * Homer: D'oh!

Baseball Short 4

 * Narrator: And now, a Baseball Moment from the Simpsons!
 * [Homer is on the couch watching TV, and Bart enters with his cap on, baseball glove and holding a baseball.]
 * Bart: Dad, do you remember where you were when Kurt Gibson hit his famous homer?
 * Homer: Do I ever!
 * [Homer flashbacks, to when he and Barney were drunk on the sofa.]
 * Homer: I bet you $200 he strikes out.
 * [Crowd cheering noises are coming from the TV.]
 * Homer: D'oh!

Baseball Short 5

 * Narrator: And now, a Baseball Moment from the Simpsons!
 * [The family and loads of other people are sitting in seats watching a baseball game. Homer gulps down food.]
 * Bart: When I grow up, I want to be a baseball player. I'm paid $7,000,000 a year to sit and scratch myself.
 * Homer: God bless a little boy's dream.
 * [Homer lifts a tear from his eye.]

Baseball Short 6

 * Narrator: And now, a Baseball Moment from the Simpsons!
 * [Lenny, Moe, Barney, Homer and Carl are in the living room. Homer enters a VHS tape into the TV. Marge enters.]
 * Marge: Homer, what are you doing?
 * Homer: Oh, just re-broadcasting a telecast without the express written consent of major league baseball.
 * Marge: Oh, I don't like the sound of that.
 * Homer: Peh, what are they gonna do?
 * [Police officers and SWAT teams break into the house through the doors and the windows and point their guns at Homer.]
 * Homer: She made me do it!
 * [Homer points at Marge.]