Let's Get Ready to Bumble!/Quotes


 * Homer: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best ideas of all?
 * Marge: Homer?
 * Homer: That's right, me! Because only I would think to palce this mirror so I can fix a snack and watch TV... and see if Marge is coming, Marge? D'oh!
 * Marge: Homer, you've started A grease fire! What are you doing with all this food?
 * Homer: I'd thought I'd make you a special breakfast, honey!
 * Marge: Homer, it's 3:30 A.M.!
 * Homer: That's why it's special! Because I made it really, really early. Mmm. It's extra crispy!


 * Gary Saltzman: Well, Mr. Burns, I've come to let you know I plan to announce my retirement. As of this moment I'm saying, "Good-bye!," to Captain Slamtasic, UWA Champion and, "Welcome back," to the real me, Gary Saltzman, PTA chairman. I've decided to leave behind the glamour of car shows and mall openings. You can send my last few checks to my place in the Hamptons, where I'll be working on my topiary art. So long.
 * Waylon Smithers: I'm afraid this leaves us in a bit of a spot, sir.
 * Mr. Burns: Nonsense, Smithers. Just call up one of these other roustabouts and we shall champion him for awhile.


 * Mr. Burns: You're an excellent tussler, Mr. Simpson. You looked very convincing. You'll make a very believable pony with which to pull our golden cart. One could hardly tell that the Pilgrim's Palms were "greased," so to speak.
 * Homer: I certainly couldn't tell, but maybe that's because my hands were so sweaty.
 * Waylon Smithers: What Mr. Burns is saying is that we knew with the outcome of the fight would be before you even entered the ring.
 * Homer: You believed in me! Thank you, thank you!
 * Mr. Burns: Smithers! Get this blubbering beast off of me.


 * Moe: Homer, I gotta tell ya, I hear a lot of bull flyin' around. This bar, but that takes it, heh, heh, you... a professional wrestler?!?!
 * Barney: First, you tell us you're a safety inspector at the power plant and now this! What kind of idiots do you takes us for? [BUUURRRP!]
 * Homer: I'm telling you, that's me!
 * Moe: That ain't you, Homer, that's Captain Slamastic.
 * Homer: That's what I'm trying to tell you, I'm Captain-- Hey!
 * Moe: Sorry, Homer, but you've obviously had too much to drink. You're getting' delusional.
 * Homer: First, Moe. Don't come running to me for a celebrity endorsement when I'm rich and famous.


 * Homer: You've gotta help me, Barney. I can't let Mr. Burns down-- he actually believes in me.
 * Barney: Homer, how can I, your friend, contribute in good conscience to your delusion of being Captain Slamastic?
 * Homer: I'll pay you in Duff.
 * Barney: Deal! C'mon Homer, we've got a lot of work to do!