Secrets of a Successful Marriage/Quotes

Okay, the first thing they told me to do was to make sure everyone's in the right class.
 * [Someone in the class spits tobacco at him]

Down the hall. Room 12.

Alright, here's the 441, folks; say some gangsta is dissin' your fly girl. You just give 'em one of these. [Moe starts a break (with a rap beat); flips back] Ooh-ae-ah-ooh – [grabs shotgun; blast three times at the roof]

Um, I was married once, but, er ... I just didn't know how to keep it together.
 * [dissolve into black and white flashback ...]

Hah ... Come on, Waylon ... make love to me the way you used to. [pours liquor] No. It's that horrible Mr. Burns, isn't it? 'YOU LEAVE MR. BURNS OUT OF THIS!!!! *GAHN!!' [*smashes liquor with his crutch] Smithers! [a smiling Smithers walks out to the deck to see Burns downstairs] Smitheerrrs!

Wow, I've never seen Mom so mad at Homer before. I'll tell you a secret, Bart – every time I'm worried about Mom and Dad, I go to the attic and add to my ball of string.
 * [said ball is huge; Snowball II touches the string –]

Raow! [ball crushes her with a crack]

[visiting Homer in the treehouse] Here, Dad. I brought you some nice ... aah!
 * [Homer has made a model of Marge; a tall plant to match her hairstyle, with a paper plate face stuck to it]

Good news, Lisa. I don't need your mother anymore. I've created a replacement that's superior to her in almost every way! Dad, that's just a plant. Lisa! You will respect your new mother. Now, give her a kiss! KIIIIISS HER!
 * [Homer thrusts the plant in Lisa's face and accidentally drops it out of the treehouse, where it breaks on the ground below]

Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God! Okay, let's get our story set. She tripped, right?