White Christmas Blues/Quotes


 * Mayor Qimby: Are you okay?
 * Chief Wiggum: I'll be fine. I'll be fine. God, I bent down to pick up a piece of candy and rolled down a hill. You always think it's the other guy that'll turn into a giant snowball. Never you. Have you seen Lou?
 * Lou: There's snow in my lungs!
 * Chief Wiggum: Lot of attitude in that hand, Lou. Lot of attitude.


 * Frink: Uh, do you have "Life of Pi?"
 * Apu: No, but I have some home movies of me on a canoe with a big dog. People who have never seen a movie say it is a good movie.


 * Marge: We can't afford Christmas. And when you can't afford Christmas, you've failed as a family. That's what all the big stores say.


 * Male Tourist: Excuse me, ma'am. I'm sorry to bother you but my kids are exhausted and the town is sold out. Is there any chance you'd have a spare room for us?
 * Marge: Well, there's a rec room off the kitchen but sometimes it's there and sometimes it isn't. Our house is very odd that way.


 * Homer:: (Looking at the the Simpsons Bed and Breakfast brochure) What the...? "The Simpson Bed and Breakfast"? (chuckles) I always wanted to stay in a place like this.


 * Homer: Well, this crazy scheme is kind of impulsive behavior I want to encourage in you. Mmm... I'm in! 100%!
 * Marge: Oh, thank you. Now, homie, Table 3 needs more bread.
 * Homer: I'm on a brake.
 * Marge: D'oh!


 * Lisa: But I'm gonna give gifts that aren't expensive and come from the heart.
 * Milhouse: I don't know. Christmas didn't get to be the number 1 holiday by being about love.
 * Lisa: Um, when a woman talks, she just wanna be heard.


 * Bart: I don't think you're giving them what they were promised, dad.
 * Homer: The secret is: Don't read the comment cards.


 * Marge: Not now. Take out that pillow and put it in room 3.
 * Homer: (Take off the pillow from his stomach then sighs) The pillow acted as a girdle.


 * Female Guest: Marge, the brochure promised us a happy Christmas.
 * Marge: My uncle died in your bed. Merry Christmas!