Things To Do Before I Die

Things To Do Before I Die is a list of over things Grampa intends to do before he die.

Bucket List

 * Use binoculars to watch a friend or family member skydive (or watch their souvenir video).
 * Remove the tag from my mattress.
 * Put a pro-Republican bumper sticker on my car.
 * Get tickets to see alive taping of "The Mary Tyler Moore show."
 * Take a tour of locations in Bangor, Maine, where Stephen King's books take place.
 * Learn to spek Pig Latin fluently.
 * Watch that documentary about the ruining of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain.
 * Learn to play the prison blues on a harmonica.
 * Go swimmin' with bow-legged women.
 * Read Tuesdays with Morrie and find out what all the fuss is about.
 * Learn to dance the "Turkey Troy."
 * Ride on a bus that has a toilet.
 * Wear my hat at a jaunty angle.
 * Start a bolo tie craze.
 * Play in an all-girl jazz band.
 * Get my own catchphrase.
 * Increase my TV viewing by 10%
 * Spend some quality time with my son (the one who owned the car company).
 * Get elected neighborhood air raid warden.
 * Give garlic mashed potatoes a try.
 * Take at least one nap one every bench in Springfield.
 * Have a street named after me. ("Grampa Parkway" would be my preference).
 * Sue the guy who stole my idea to put peanut butter and jelly in one jar.
 * Organize my slipper collection.
 * Climn to the top floor of the Museum of Escalators.
 * Tighten down all the crews in the retirement home.
 * Grow a copstache.
 * Get through all the television shows on my DVR.
 * Read the entire Bible (of barbecue.).
 * Come up with a good deathbed confession.