Springfield's Typical Teen-Ager Homie in One Plus Two Equals Zero/Quotes


 * Homer: Check it out, Marge! I won two tickets for us to see the Larry Davis Experience in concert this Friday!
 * Marge: Oh, Homie! That's outtasight! Oh, but wait! My Junior Liberated Ladies Club is having a consiciousness raising at the Springfield High home economics kitchatorium on Friday!
 * Homer: D'oh! Can't you shine on your lady libbers and come to the concert with me?
 * Marge: I'm sorry, Homer, but I can't just break free from my liberation obligations.


 * Marge: Hi, Barney! Guess you're pretty excited about going to the concert.
 * Barney: I sure am! What concert am i going to?
 * Marge: Homer's got two tickets to see the Larry Davis Experience. I thought he asked you to go with him.
 * Barney: No, he didn't gummer! Now I'll never have a Larry Davis Experience.


 * Homer: And that's how I stupidly set myself up to be in two places with two differrent chicks at the same time!
 * Bart: Whoa! A ladie's man! Get down with your bad self, Homei!
 * Lisa: Gee, dad, it sounds like you were a real no-good two-timer.
 * Homer: Well, I never quite got the hang of it, so, technically, I was only a one time two-timer.
 * Bart: So then what happened? Was your shameful duplicity exposed? Did one of the dames have a gun? Where you shot? Where you killed? Did you die?
 * Lisa: Cool it, Bat. This is a lighthearted teeange farce, not film noir.


 * Mr. Burns: Egad! Another teenager! This place is being overrn by you blasted juvenile delinquents!
 * Victoria Burns: Oh, don't be so melodramtic, uncle Monty. He's just one of the local lads from the nearby village. Do come in, Homer.
 * Mr. Burns: Oh, yes! Do come in! I'll go down to the gate and let in the rest of the barbarians.


 * Artie Ziff: Did i hear your squares say "tringale"? Liste, Homer. Obviously even one lady lvoe is more than a dim bulb like you can handle. So let me take one of them off your hands.
 * Homer: Get lost, Ziff.
 * Barney: Artie's got a point there, Homer. This babe-balancing act is making you all uptight, man.
 * Artie Ziff: Aha! Here comes the hip, happenin' Ms. Bouvier now!
 * Barney: Uh-oh. And here comes the bodacious miss Burns!
 * Homer: D'oh! I wish there was two of me!