Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily/Quotes

Mom! You mother us too much! Enjoy it while you can kids! Because when you are grown up and I am dead, you will have no one to look after you!
 * [Bart and Lisa depart for school. Homer enters living room.]

Marge! A spider got near the car keys! You did the right thing in coming to me, Homie.

Papa Bear has a present for his Mama Bear.


 *  [ Springfield Elementary. Miss Krabappel's class is having their picture taken.]

Children, stop fidgeting! Bart Simpson, why are you scratching so much? Oh my goodness, you have head lice! How could this have happened?
 * [Flashback to Van Houten residence. A monkey is atop Bart's head.]

We found him asleep inside a wicker basket we bought at Pier One!
 * [Springfield Elementary.]

[to himself] Hey, how come I got lice and nothing bad happened to Milhouse?
 * [Milhouse has the, indicating he is sick and has a fever.]

[talking to himself while shivering] So cold... so very cold.

I don't judge Homer and Marge. That's for a vengeful God to do.

[upon learning that the Simpsons children were not baptized] Until this I never thought Homer and Marge were bad parents, but now I know you kids need a less-hellbound family.

I miss how Bart would say something and end with Dude.

Here you go, Todd, the city edition.

The bridal feast of Bethchedruharrezeb?

Everything has a Pat Booneish Quality.

Come on Bart, your younger sister is not complaining. The only reason Maggie is not complaining is because she cannot talk!
 * [Maggie removes her pacifier.]

Daddily doodily!

The only thing I am high on is love! Love for my son and daughters. Yes, a little L.S.D. is all I need!
 * [Homer is shocked by what Marge unitentionally said and ushers her out.]

Come on Marge, let us get out of here before they change their minds about us!