Thursdays with Abie/Quotes


 * Marshall Goldman: Sir, my name is Marshall Goldman. I'm a newspaper columnist specializing in human interest stories.
 * Grampa: You're in the newspaper business? Something that's gonna die before I do!
 * Marshall Goldman: You have any other stories you'd care to tell me?
 * Grampa: Someone's listening to me!
 * Marshall Goldman: Now I know how a radio feels!


 * Bart: Oh, not that stupid stuffed lamb again. This isn't learning!
 * Edna: Do you want to learn?
 * Bart: No, no, no. I'm just saying...
 * Edna: This weekend, Larry will go home with...
 * Nelson: Please, God, I need this.
 * Edna: ...Bart Simpson.
 * Martin: Oh, cruel irony!


 * Homer: How come Grampa never shared those stories with us?
 * Marge: He does all the time. You just never listen.
 * Homer: Marge, my brain is like a computer, and I file away Grampa's stories in a very special place.


 * Homer: Dad, I don't have the right words to say how I really feel about you, but at least I know how to beat up a guy who does.
 * Grampa: Well, at least you never tried to kill me.


 * Lisa: Bart! If you're not gonna take care of him right, then give him to me.
 * Bart: How come you don't get mad when I torment real animals?
 * Lisa: I do! It enrages me!
 * Bart: I thought you Hindus were supposed to love everybody.
 * Lisa: I'm a freaking Buddhist! A Buddhist!