Simprovised/Quotes


 * Chief Wiggum: [at the evidence locker] Let's see... Present for Ralph, present for Ralph... Ooh, what do we have here? [grabs a crossbow] Boy, Ralph would kill himself with this in two seconds. And somehow it'd be my fault.


 * [Chief Wiggum leaves the evidence locker whistling and encounters with Lou]
 * Chief Wiggum: Uh... You heard me whistling there, right? That indicates innocence.
 * Lou: Uh.. Proclaiming your innocence indicates guilt.
 * Chief Wiggum: Uh, yeah? Well, what does that mean?
 * [he runs outside the door, enters on a car and drives away]


 * Bart: Okay, so, at a Ralph party, always get to the cake before...
 * [they see the cake deformed as Ralph's face]
 * Lisa: Too late!


 * Bart: Oh my treehouse sucks.
 * Nelson: Haw-Haw! You have class envy!
 * Mrs. Muntz: Nelson, honey, I told you to stop sayin' haw-haw.
 * Nelson: Give me a dollar and I'll stop.
 * Mrs. Muntz: I don't got a dollar!
 * Nelson: Haw-Haw!


 * Marge: Do you want to practice your speech on me?
 * Homer: [chuckles] No need, honey! Same speech I give every year. The opening joke about Lenny's grandma always kills.
 * Marge: You can't joke about her. They just put her on life support.
 * Homer: What?! No! She's the linchpin!
 * Marge: It's okay, it's okay. Everyone is terrified of public speaking. But just in case, I'll defrost a failure ham.
 * Homer: You don't have faith in me! I have savers! If I get heckled, I'll say "Get a half-life!".
 * [Marge stares at him]
 * Marge: I'm sure that'll be funny to them.


 * [Marge gets near the treehouse and sees Bart]
 * Marge: Oh. Throwing away your "No Girls" sign? Is it time for you to have "the talk" with your dad? Because he's gonna have to read a few things first.
 * Bart: No! I'm tearing it down. Ralph has a cool treehouse, and mine sucks.
 * Marge: Well, Bart, your father built it, and he did the very best he could.
 * [a flashback shows Homer building the treehouse on a sapling]
 * Homer: I did my job. Now it's your turn, tree! Get growing!


 * Marge: I'll tell you what, why don't I spruce it up for you? Huh?
 * Bart: But you're an inside grown-up. Moms can't build treehouses.
 * Marge: You realize that saying that is gonna make this mom work her keister off to make you the best darn treehouse you ever saw!
 * Bart: Sounds good!