When Flanders Failed/Quotes

We practice karate, so that we never need use it. Excuse me. I already know how not to hit a man. Can I practice with nunchucks?

Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister!"

Hey, I hear you validate parking tickets without purchase. Oh, right as rain! Or, as we say around here, `left as rain', heh heh. Just stamp the ticket. Oh, okay.

Listen to that singing. Those poor fools. Homer, I'm ruined. I know. You know, at times like these, I used to turn to the Bible and find solace, but even the Good Book can't help me now. Why not? I sold it to you for seven cents. Oh. You know, ever since that barbecue, nothing's gone right. It's like there's been a curse on me.
 * [Homer bursts into tears.]

It's all my fault! No, it's not! Yes, it is! No! You tried to warn me about gambling my family's future on some pig in a poke! I didn't listen! Homer, you were a true friend! No, I was a swine! [He and Ned hug and cry] Listen, Flanders, you still have that store? For two more days. Then it becomes Headquarters. I hope they have better luck than I did. Flanders, you open that store tomorrow. Homer, there's no point! I said do it!


 * [Homer is on the phone.]

Hello Jerry? This is Homer Simpson. Remember last month when I paid back that loan? Yeah, well now I need you to do a favor for me!