There's No Disgrace Like Home/Quotes

I don't want to alarm anyone, but I think there's a li'l al-key-hol in this punch.

[Seeing a son kiss his father on the cheek] Awww... That's the kind of family unity I like to see. Smithers, get that man's name. I predict big things for him down at the power plant. Quick, Bart, give me a kiss. Kiss you? But, Dad, I'm your kid! Bart, please. Five bucks for a kiss.

I'm sorry, Marge, but sometimes I think we're the worst family in town. Well maybe we should move to a larger community. D'oh!

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!


 * [The Simpsons peer through a dining room window, watching another family happily eating dinner together.]

Look at that, kids! No fighting, no yelling. No belching. That dad has a shirt on! Look, napkins! These people are obviously freaks.