Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life/Quotes


 * Lisa: That school is so great. Teachers teach so much better when they're paid in money and not chickens.


 * Bart: You punch really good
 * Nelson: You think?
 * Bart: Oh yeah and you always avoid the face around picture day. People really appreciate that.
 * Nelson: Hey, those memories are forever.
 * Bart: You really care man. A lot of bullies just phone it in. *cough* Kearney *cough*


 * Lisa: I'll study so hard I'll make the old me look like Bart.
 * Homer: That'd be one weird looking kid.


 * Lisa: Lord Buddha, I know I'm not supposed to want stuff, but come on!


 * Bart: What's your note say?
 * Lisa: The seven of clubs?
 * Homer: Tada!


 * Principal Skinner: You yell at me for everything.
 * Superintendent Chalmers: Well I cant yell at anyone else. Teachers have unions. Students have parents.
 * Principal Skinner: What about Willie?
 * Superintendent Chalmers: I like Willie.


 * Principal Skinner: Lisa, one of the hardest jobs I have is throwing cold water on young children's dreams. Ralph, you're not a kangaroo.


 * Principal Skinner: Buying trophies from those cash-strapped schools really filled out the case.


 * Lisa: Someday when I'm a grownup, maybe I'll go back and look fondly at our house.
 * Bart: Well stop in and say hi to me because I'll still be there chilling in my basement bachelor pad.
 * Homer: Make sure to water my backyard grave.
 * Bart: As long as I can dig you up and stick you on the front porch every Halloween.
 * Homer: Just don't dress me up as a woman.
 * Bart: We'll see.


 * Selma: What a cheap date.
 * Moe: I'm not cheap baby. I'm embarrassed to be seen with you. There's a big difference.


 * Homer: No child of mine will go without anything. Ever. Except quality health care.


 * Krusty: Mousy and Catsy! Aren't they great?


 * Homer: You can't climb into the TV. If you could, I'd make Alex Trebek answer some questions.


 * "Raphael": How'd he get in?
 * "Texxon Worker": T'aint no glass
 * "Raphael": Did he take any money? (the worker shrugs) He did now (strays emptiying register)