Little Orphan Bart/Quotes


 * Kent Brockman: Our top story tonight, it's officially the slowest news day in history! In our only other story, the tory factory that makes Radioactive Man action figures is offering a free tour...
 * Bart: Yes!
 * Kent Brockman: ...for the local orphanage!
 * Bart: D'oh! Those lucky orphans!
 * Lisa: Yeah, that's quite a stroke of good fortune they're all having. But what are you gonna do?


 * Mr. Burns: Hello, new orphan!
 * Bart: Aaaah! Mr. Burns? What are you doing here?
 * Mr. Burns: Oh, I own this orphanage! You see, young man, like many here, I too lost my parents to tragic accidents that I've legally never been connected to. It makes me feel good to give to those less fortunate.


 * Marge: Violet, you don't have to sleep on the floor. It's okay to use Bart's bed!
 * Poor Violet: Thank you, but no, ma'am! I tried it, but [COUGH] I've never slept on anything softer than a hard wooden board before. It make my back all twisty [COUGH]
 * Marge: Ewwww! You poor thing. Well, breakfast is ready when you feel straight enough to eat.


 * Marge: Have a good day at school, Lisa, and try to help Violet fit in!
 * Lisa: I've spent the last three years trying to get me to fit in.
 * Marge: Just try, Lisa. She's a nice little girl who really could use some friends.


 * Marge: Grampa? What are you doing here?
 * Grampa: I was looking for the bathroom at the home and got lost. Hey there, Lisa!
 * Poor Violet: [COUGH!]
 * Grampa: Wait a minute! I recognize that cough!
 * Marge: You do?
 * Grampa: It comes from years of neglect! Most of the folks at the home have got it!
 * Poor Violet: Is there [COUGH] a cure?
 * Grampa: Yep! You need attention, and plenty of it! Quick, tell me a long rambling story about how bad things were for you! WE need to get it out of your system! Stat!