The Springfield Connection/Quotes

I got a report on a domestic disturbance at this address. Yes, indeed there is. There's an inflatable bath pillow that Mother and I both enjoy. She claimed it was her day to use it. I maintained she was mistaken. We quarreled. Later, as I prepared to bathe, I noticed, to my horror, that someone... had slashed the pillow. Uh-huh. Who called the police? We both did. Look, why don't you two settle down? I'm sure you can get another pillow. Well, I could send it back to Taiwan for repair. But why should I have to?! I've done nothing wrong! And I don't give permission for my face to be on TV. I want it blurred! [his face is blurred]

All right, Hans. Time to go. But he ate my last meal. Well, if that's the worst thing that happens to you today, consider yourself lucky. [two guards enter] Are you really allowed to execute people in a local jail? From this point on, no talking.

Boy... when Marge first told me she was going to the police academy, I thought it'd be fun and exciting! You know, like that movie, ! But instead it's been painful and disturbing, like that movie . Hey, Homer. I'm worried about the beer supply. And after this case, and the other case, there's only one case left! [under his breath] "Yeah, yeah! Uh, Barney's right! Yeah, let's drink some more beer. Yeah! Hey, what about some beer? Yeah, Barney's right." All right, guys! Pipe down! I got some more in the garage. [Herman stands up] Uh, I'll-I'll-I'll get it for you, Homer. [walks off] Hmm... I wonder why he's so eager to go to the garage. The garage? Hey, fellas, the garage! Well, ooh-la-di-da, Mr. Frenchman. Well, what do you call it? A car hole.