Homerpalooza/Quotes

So how 'bout those rainbow suspenders, huh? Dad? Pretty cool way to keep your pants up, eh? Dad! I see these kids now with "jive" printed on their shirts. Now, I can teach you how you're supposed to say "jive"... Dad? Please just drive the car, Dad.

Nobody knows the band, Grand Funk? The wild shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner? The bong-rattling bass of Mel Schacher? The competent drumwork of Don Brewer? Oh, man.

And when I listen to a really good song, I start nodding my head, like I'm saying "yes!" to every beat. "Yes, yes, yes this rocks!" And then sometimes I switch it up like "No, no, no, don't stop a-rockin'..." Dad, please. You're embarrassing us. No, I'm not. I'm teaching you about rock music.

Dad! No one cares about any of your stupid dinosaur bands! You have the worst, lamest taste in music ever!

Why do you need new bands? Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. It's a scientific fact.

What the hell are you two doing? It's called rocking out. You wouldn't understand, Dad. You're not with it. I used to be "with it." But then they changed what "it" was. Now what I'm with isn't "it," and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you. No way, man. We're gonna keep on rocking forever... forever... forever...

That's fine for you, Marge. But I used to rock and roll all night and party ev-a-ry day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky. I've got to get out of this rut and back into the groove!

Wow, it's like Woodstock. Only with advertisements everywhere and tons of security guards.

Dad, you cannot wear that! That's a Rastafarian hat! Hey, I've been safari-in' since before you were born. Wearing a Jamaican hat makes a bold statement about your connection to reggae music. Well, excuuuuuuse me! You know what, Dad? Maybe we'll go exploring on our own for a while.

Cool concert, am I right? Yeah, nice try, narc! Where's the Narc? Who? That fat Jamaican guy. What did I say? What's going on? Hey, we're just trying to have a good time, narc. Why do you want to destroy us? Don't commit your hate crimes here. Hate crime!

It may be bleak, but this music is really getting to the crowd. Aw, making teenagers depressed is like shootin' fish in a barrel.

Oh man, there goes Peter Frampton's big finale. He's gonna be pissed off. You're damn right I'm gonna be pissed off. I bought that pig at Pink Floyd's yard sale.

So you want to go on tour with a traveling freak show. I don't think I have a choice, Marge. Of course you have a choice. How do you figure? You don't have to join a freak show just because the opportunity came along. You know, Marge, in some ways you and I are very different people...

Hey, Cannonball -- I like your statement: When life takes a cheap shot at you, you stand your ground. Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins. Homer Simpson, smiling politely.

Oh, here comes that cannonball guy. He's cool. Are you being sarcastic, dude? I don't even know anymore.

My God. Those cannonballs have practically demolished your stomach. From now on, no cannonballs, no spicy foods, and when you lie in a hammock, please -- rest your beer on your head or your genitals.

So what's it like being famous, Dad? People know your name, but you don't know theirs. It's great. Dad, do you wear boxers or briefs? Nope. What religion are you? You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life -- Christianity.

Hello, bands. Who is playing with the London Symphony Orchestra? C'mon, people, somebody ordered the London Symphony Orchestra... possibly while high. , I'm looking in your direction. [whispering among themselves] Hey, man, did we order an orchestra? Uh, I don't know... I think we gotta do somethin'. Uh, uh, yeah, yeah, we think we did. Uh, do you know "Insane in the Brain"? We mostly know classical. But we could give it a shot.

And to think, Smithers -- you laughed when I bought Ticketmaster. "Nobody's going to pay a 100% service charge." Well, it's a policy that ensures a healthy mix of the rich and the ignorant, Sir.