Simpson Safari/Quotes

"Olive oil?" "Asparagus?" If your mother wasn't so fancy, we could shop at the gas station like normal people.

I need this candy for school. Candy Class. Well, okay, but get five bags in case we eat four on the way home. My teacher said I need cupcakes. Cupcakes to learn. In the cart. I'm out of wine. Cart.

Wait, I changed my mind. Stack it in the order I'll eat it driving home. Sir, please. I've already bagged it by color, and in order of each item's discovery by man. The customer's always right. That's what everybody likes about us. Now mush!

You tell 'im, Jumbo! And you, start over. I want everything in one bag. Yes ma'am. But I don't want the bag to be heavy. I don't think that's possible. What are you, the Possible Police? Just do it!

So hungry... There's gotta be some food left. Sulfur jerky... Cream of toast... Where did we get all this crap? Most of it was sent by relatives who couldn't see very well.

And on my free African safari, I want to do everything on this box. I want to shoot a lion in the face, fight Muhammad Ali, and ride in a convertible with two happy zebras.

What is it, Ngongo? Evil is coming. What shall we do, Ngongo? Eh... [panicky] You are Ngongo now.

Attention, passengers. Please prepare for our landing in Tanzania. [gets handed a note] I'm sorry, it is now called New Zanzibar. [gets handed another note] Excuse me. It is now called Pepsi Presents New Zanzibar.

Who's Muntu? He is our leader. He seized power in a bloodless coup. All smotherings. Just like Jimmy Carter.

This is the earliest known fossil of a human being. It's over two million years old. Pfft, I've got more bones than that guy. If you're trying to impress me, you've failed. It's not the number of bones, sir, it's the... You. Have. Failed.

Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep... in a giant blender.

Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? I told you, yes. Now Bart, go to the top of that hill and see if you can spot our hotel. Mt. Kilimanjaro? Go!

So, I notice your home smells of feces. Yes. And not just monkey feces either. Could we talk about something else?

Every day I get up at five-thirty, watch the chimps, eat a quick lunch of roots and water, then more chimp-watching. After dark I come home and think about chimps until it's time for bed. You must be the most boring woman on earth. Possibly, but... I mean I knew scientists wasted their lives, but geez.