Bart's Beard/Quotes


 * Lisa: Dad! You can't seriously be considering letting Bart have that.
 * Marge: Let Bart have what?
 * Lisa: A video restricted to those seventeen and older.
 * Homer: D'oh!
 * Marge: Oh, Homer.


 * Bart: How much for "Clowns Gone Wild!"?
 * Comic Book Guy: I am selling that video at cover price. $29.95 plus state tax.
 * Bart: $29.95?
 * Comic Book Guy: Plus state tax. And a state of denial is what you are in, young Jedi, if you believe I will unlawfully sell that age-restricted video to a minor.


 * Milhouse: Is the video really worth all this trouble?
 * Bart: Of course! Now help me find a disguise.
 * Milhouse: Bart, I don't think we're gonna find the answer to our problem here.
 * Bart: Eureka!
 * Bart: Ah, ha! Homer's Dimoxinil hair growth tonic! There may be just enough left!
 * Milhouse: Even if this works, where are you gonna get the $29.95?
 * Bart: That's the easy part. Meet me tomorrow morning at the Springfield Retirement Castle.


 * Bart: Thank you so much for all the silk flowers, teeth, and frilly unmentionables. But I'm here for the, uh, the 'under-privileged child's video fund.' Won't you please help?


 * Bart: Man, what a gyp! After all I went through! This tape is lame-o.
 * Lisa: I don't know, Bart. The deep emotional scars that force a man to seek a life wearing a false smile is a fascinating topic.
 * Milhouse: There's nothing sadder than the tears of a clown.