Judge Marge/Quotes


 * Judge Julie: To the gallows, Kirk van Houten! From there you will be drawn and quartered... ...any body parts still alive will then face three consceutive life sentences. That's whte sentence I wish I could give you deadbeat dads! But since this is a small claims TV court, I fine you $400.
 * Bart: Heh, heh! I love how Judge Julie goes after lousy fathers who don't give their kids what they need.
 * Kirk: I still get the $500 fee for appearing on the show, right?
 * Judge Julie: Ix-nay on the ee-fay!


 * Seymour Skinner: So a man can't even get justice in this town anymore?
 * Clancy Wiggum: Guess not.
 * Seymour Skinner: Well, this wil no stand! I want you to take this chalk and write "I will be a better Drive" one hundred times on the road.
 * Ned: Okilly dokilly!
 * Carl: Did you see that?
 * Lenny: What deciseive action!
 * Barney: Hey, hey not let him be the new judge!
 * Seymour Skinner: Me,? Well, I..
 * Clancy Wiggum: Will ya, Mister? We really need to start prosecuting again.


 * Marge: Bart!
 * Bart: [GULP!]
 * Marge: You stop bothering Judge Skinner, right now!
 * Bart: Or, what?
 * Marge: Or, I'll show your baby pictures to the TV cameras until you stop!
 * Bart: Noooooo! It's over! I'm done! I apoligoize for this horrible misunderstanding just put the pictures away!
 * Lindsay Naegle: Well done, well done. Humilation, justice, plus a touch of nudity; I love it! I want to offer you your own show as a TV judge.


 * Bart: Hey, Homer. You ever notice when mom gets a job things fall apart here at home?
 * Homer: Yes, yes I have I mean, normally Lisa helps out as the voice of reason, but lately...
 * Lisa: I'm taking your piggy bank and going shopping. Any objections?
 * Bart: No, Lisa.
 * Lisa: Good. Carry on.
 * Bart: Anyway, I felt we could use and authority figure, so the hourse doesn't get acondemend again.
 * Homer: But who, Bart? Who?
 * Bart: Judge Snyder! he's healthy again, and now that mom's taken over. He's out of work.
 * Homer: How did I miss him standing right there?
 * Judge Snyder: I've been a family court judge for twenty years. I'll work for food.
 * Homer: You're hired. Now quit blocking the TV, your honor!


 * Marge: You know, I really would like to get out of here early and get my grocery shopping done. Whould you mind confessing? It'd really help me out.
 * Jimmy the Scumbag: I don't wanna.
 * Marge: Can you really look Bailiff Maggie in the eye and say you didn't rob that bank?
 * Jimmy the Scumbag: I id it! I did it!
 * Clancy Wiggum: Using babies for confessions. When I think of all the time I wasted with phonebooks, rubber hses, and pillow casses full of sopad bars.