X-MAS Marks the Spot!/Quotes


 * Homer: Too much Christmas! All around me... all around me... all around me...
 * Marge: Homie, what's wrong? I haven't seen you this uspet since they closed the wishing fountain at the mall! Thought I have to admit, it keeps your cuffs dryer!
 * Lisa: I think dad's having his annual Christmas meltdown!
 * Bart: Either that or something just explained his cholesterol count to him!


 * Homer: But how can I avoid it, Doc? It's Christmas everyone's got their hand out!
 * Dr. Hibbert: Which reminds me, you haven't settled up for your last visit when you got that turkey wish-bone lodged in your throat at thanksgiving!
 * Lisa: That's easy, dad! Attain the buddhist ideal of non-materialism! Let go of things, and they'll let go of you!
 * Bart: Hey! whoa! Hey! I'm all about non-materialism, but we all need to think about it for a while... like until after Christmas and after my birthday!
 * Marge: I think Lisa has fine idea.


 * Birch Barlow: Well, the liberal, lame-os have begun their war. No, their jihad on Christmas, my friends. I'm afraid forcing "Christmas Ape" to change his name to "holiday ape" was only their opening salvo... ..there's a man in this town calling heimself "The king of Christmas" Homer Simpson!
 * Homer: [HMMPH.] Probably sucking up for a free Christmas tree!
 * Marge: I don't hink he's complimenting you, Homer.


 * Amid bin Laden: Welcome to the Christmascorp store, where Krusty welcomes you. May I interest you in a Christmas tree?
 * Amid bin Laden: We wish to emulate our neighbors' customs, so yes. Ah, this one will do nicely.
 * Mina bin Laden: These ornaments will make it look quite festive!
 * Squeaky-voiced teen: Excellent choice, sir. And my I recommend... ...a Christmascorp manger scene? This is our most popular model, the baby Jesus glowns in the dark.
 * Amid bin Laden: Excellent quality, I am sure, but the tree will be sufficient, thank you.
 * Squeaky-voiced teen: Are you sure? You wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong idea about your loyalites, sir, or should i say... shaib?
 * Amid bin Laden: Call me either, if you like. But don't call me next time, we will do business with Homer Simpson.


 * Krusty: Everyone, stop! This is all getting pretty ugly... ...I mean, whoever thought relgion whould be the cause of so much bad feeeling? All Homer Simpson wanted to do is make an honest buck off of Christmas. And is that so wrong? His mistake was crossing guys who wnated to make even bigger bucks, less honestly... Christmascorp!