Springfield Elementary (Simpsons Comics 242)/Quotes


 * Gary Chalmers: Skiinnner! It's happened again!
 * Seymour Skinner: You're dating mother?
 * Gary Chalmers: Yes, but that's not what I'm here about! Your school supply closet has been robbed! There's no more pencils, no more books!
 * Seymour Skinner: And the teacher's dirty looks?
 * Gary Chalmers: They're still here!
 * Mr. Largo: And they always will be!


 * Seymour Skinner: Detective and sidekick, your school needs you again!
 * Bartholomew Holmes: Let me duduce what's missing your dignity? The best years of your life?
 * Seymour Skinner: Correct as always! But also.
 * Lisa Watson: The school supplies have been stolen. Normally, you'd have written our assignment in a three-ring binder, but I see you're empty-handed.
 * Seymour Skinner: You're right Bartholomew. The school supplies are gone.
 * Lisa Watson: He's right? But I--


 * Bartholomew Holmes: Just as I deduced! All the school supplies were used to make an ar project!
 * Seymour Skinner: [GASP] This kind of thing isn't in our art curriculum! That's it! I'm cutting art class!
 * Lisa Watson: What? That's not fair! We don't even know who did it.


 * Lisa Watson: Willie couldn't have signed his name to the crimn. Willie can't read or write.
 * Seymour Skinner: That's true! He signs his paychecks by spitting on them! But if he didn't do it, then who did?
 * Lisa Watson: Was it you, Bart?
 * Bartholomew Holmes: Yes.


 * Seymour Skinner: Good work, Lisa!
 * Lisa Watson: Does this mean I move up from sidekick to actual school detective?
 * Seymour Skinner: No, but your do get to hire the new one.