Battle of the 'Plexes!/Quotes


 * Marge: Kids! Stop!
 * Lisa: I was!
 * Bart: No, I was!
 * Lisa: No, I Was!
 * Bart: No, I Was!
 * Marge: What are you fighting over?
 * Lisa: Which one of us was adopted.
 * Bart: I was!
 * Marge: WNeither one of your we're adopted. But I couldn't love you more if you were!
 * Lisa: Moooommm!
 * Bart: Stop!


 * Mr. Burns: Blated... rag! Tougher than... toot's shor's... flank steak!
 * Waylon Smithers: Sir? I heard you'd be here, and well... I brought mother's pinking shears, just in case.
 * Mr. Burns: Then cut the miserable thing from and begone from my sight forever, you impertinent magpie!
 * Waylon Smithers: Yes, sir!
 * Mr. Burns: Now all of you inside! His infernal cermony is murdering my ticket sales!


 * Ms. Hoover: Turn it off! Turn it off! Your invention will destory us all!
 * Jonathan Frink, Sr.: I don't understand! According to my figures, this, ah, shouldn't be happening [GLAVIN!]


 * Homer: And surprise us they did! The end! Now go do your homework!
 * Lisa: What? You've not going to tell us what happend?
 * Homer: Oh, suddenly I'm a good storyteller?
 * Lisa: Yes! Finish it!
 * Bart: The supense is killing me! [GACK]
 * Marge: Homer... tell it.
 * Homer: Okay. When we boys showed up the next week, we beaved like perfect gentlemen.
 * Marge: No, you didn't! You smuggled in spray cheese and ruined all our clothes!
 * Homer: Marge, your mainstream spin only furthers the girl agenda! I'm switching from you to Fox News!


 * Marge: And from then on, all the boys did behave like perfect gentlemen.
 * Homer: Awww...
 * Lisa: What are we supposed to learn from that?
 * Marge: That you should get along!
 * Lisa: It sounds like the message is, girls should ask older people to fight boys for them!
 * Bart: No, I think it clearly means that girls will stop at nothing to be the boss of us.
 * Lisa: Nice story, mom and dad! Another marful lesson for you impressionable son!
 * Marge: [GROOANN] Why does every story have to tell you what to do? Can't you just enjoy the plot and dialogue?
 * Homer: Just stop fighting, okay? It's tearing this family apart! [SOB!]