Homer at the Bat/Quotes


 * [Jose Canseco is walking by a burning house when he hears a baby crying.]

My baby! Don't worry ma'am, I'll save your baby!
 * Jose Canseco runs into burning house and emerges with baby.

Thank you!
 * [Cat mewling is heard.]

My cat! Never fear ma'am, I'll save your cat!
 * [Jose Canseco runs into burning house and emerges with cat.]

Thank you Mr. Canseco!
 * ["Camptown Races" is heard.]

My player-piano! Oh, man!


 *  [ Springfield Hospital. Dr. Hibbert is using a Geiger counter on a sick Mike Scoscia.]

Er Mike try to lift your arm. Can't... lift arm... or speak... at... normal... rate Now son, it looks like you have acute radiation posioning. Will... I... be... able... to... play... softball... tomorrow? [laughs] No, by tomorrow you'll barely be able to breath! Oh...man... Doctor come quick! Ken Griffey Jr. needs your help immediately, it looks like an overdose of nerve tonic.
 * [Dr. Hibbert sees Ken Griffey Junior in a wheelchair with an enlarged cranium.]

Oh my lord, gigantism!


 * [Wade Boggs is arguing in Moe's Tavern with a drunken Barney Gumble.]

And I say England's greatest Prime Minister was ! ! Lord Palmerston! Pitt the Elder!! O.K. You asked for it Boggs!
 * [Barney knocks Boggs out.]

Yeah, that's showing him, Barney! Heh, Pitt the Elder. Lord Palmerston!!!
 * [Barney knocks Moe out too.]