Waiting for Duffman/Quotes


 * Homer: Night gathers and now my Duff-Watch begins. It shall not end until my death, or my 12 week option is not picked up. I shall take no wife, hold no lands and father no children, except for the wife and house and kids I'm already stuck with. I shall wear no other beers' crowns'. I am the six-pack hidden in daddy's secret cabinet, I put the fest in Oktoberfest, and sell for eight bucks at ball parks. Though I have nothing to offer but my suds, head and beers, and promotional cosies, for this night and all nights to come.


 * Homer: I will do something no one has ever done, be fun sober!


 * Lisa: I'm not sure how many more times we can watch dad chased down by an angry crowd before it affects us psychologically.
 * Dr. Schulman: As a family therapist, I can assure you that you have all the coping skills you need.
 * Marge: Why is Lisa talking to an empty seat?
 * Lisa: See you next Tuesday Dr. Schulman! Oh right, you're in Maui.


 * Marge: These reality shows really leave you no privacy.


 * Homer: [after finding out his Duffman duties mean he can never drink again] You wouldn't tell Batman he can't eat bats!