Jazzy and the Pussycats/Quotes

[Bart practices his new drum set all over town and accidentally crashes into the band White Stripes.]



Bart: "Sorry, White Stripes. No hard feelings?"

[Meg and Jack White look at each other.]



Homer: "Boy, get dressed! You’re going to a jazz brunch as punishment for all the racket you’re making."

Bart: "I thought you wanted me to drum?"

Homer: "Hmph. I’m sending you mixed messages. Now get the hell out of here!" [slams door then opens it again] "I love you so much. Damn you!"

Defonzo Palmer: "We were about to play a quick set and we were wondering if you…"

Lisa: "Yes?"

Defonzo 'Skinny' Palmer: "Lisa Simpson…"

Lisa: "Yes?"

Defonzo 'Skinny' Palmer: "Would do us the honor…"

Lisa: "Yes!"

Defonzo 'Skinny' Palmer: "Of sitting in…" [Lisa gasps] "that chair in the audience. We wanna jam with your brother."

Lisa: "All I wanted was to save those animals while Bart became a drummer, but I never thought the two stories would intersect!"

Bart: "I need you to teach me all about the world of juzz."

Lisa: "It's jazz! Jazz! You don't even know the name of the thing you're stealing from me!"

Jazzy Goodtime's waiter: "What it is, hip cats? Would you like me to scat-sing the menu?"

Bart: "Hell, no."

Jazzy Goodtimes waiter: "Oh, god bless you, sir!"

Bart: "So how did Malt Liquor Mommy die?"

Marge: "Stop calling her that!"

(Marge is stressed about the possible doom of Lisa's animals.)

Bart: "Oh, this benfit concert is gonna be Scooby Dooby!"

Marge: "I'm very happy for you, Bart." [Sighs]

Bart: "Why are you sad? Thinkin' about your marriage?"

[The dog Lisa didn't pick at the Animal Shelter comes back to haunt her in her sleep.]

Dog Spirit: "Lisa Simpson, you've doomed me."

Lisa: "Me? How?"

Dog Spirit: "By choosing the cuter puppy. You picked looks over personality, youth over experience, no history of rabies over unknown rabies status. And now I'm going to die!"

Lisa: "I never wanted that to happen!"

Dog Spirit: "You suuuck, You suuuck!"

[The Dog Spirit scratches on Lisa's door to get out and Lisa opens it.]

Dog Spirit: "Ah, thanks, sweetie. You suuuck!"

Dr. Brentano: "First, let me assure you that Bart's antics are perfectly normal for a seven-year-old."

Marge: "Actually, he's ten."

Dr. Brentano: "Oh, dear. Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear."

[Lisa spots Bart and his Blues muscian friends hanging out in the attic.]

Lisa: "Bart! What are you doing here?"

Bart: "Uh," [stammers] "not smoking reefer."

Blues Musician: "Uh, that's right. We—we all not smokin' reefer."

[Lisa picks out a dog at the Animal Shelter.]

Lisa: "Okay, this little guy's comin' home with me. (Pets the dog) Ooh! Who's going to get neutered tomorrow? You are! Oh, yes you are!"

[Marge takes away Bart's laser pointer.]

Marge: "Bart! Do you want to leave the funeral early? Do you?"

Bart: "Yes! Of course."

Bart: "My arm! It hurts where the tiger’s biting it!"