My Mother the Carjacker/Quotes

Mona, I'll always remember raspberry trolley cars, because my mind is shot.

Homer, it's 2:00 in the morning. I couldn't sleep because I thought there might be a sign of my mom in one of these articles. They never did find her body. Then what was in the coffin? Last week's garbage. I missed the pickup date.

You gotta say something. She's looking at 20 years! And my legal license expires in 15 minutes. I barely know my mother. And every time I see her, she's taken away again. And when a man doesn't have his mother, he winds up like me.

To reach you, I called up my friends in the liberal media and planted that story about the giant pizza. You sure know me, Mom. Pizza was the first food he choked on. Aw So why are you back in town? I saw this macaroni pencil holder Homer made me, and I realized how much I missed him. I made this when I was five. I had to do something. Your pencils were all over the place. Hey, it was the '60s.

What happened to Grandma is an outrage. How do you figure? She was acquitted! Then they put her back in jail on a technicality! You're right. People should only be let out of jail on technicalities. Well, they're transferring Grandma to a federal prison tomorrow. I say we hit 'em where they live with a candlelight vigil. Candlepin bowling? That's a great idea. We'll play right after I break your grandmother out of prison.

I never want this trip to end. Because I'm getting executed when we stop.