Every Man's Dream/Quotes


 * Candace: I'm pretty fascinating myself. I'm an author.
 * Homer: I thought you were a pharmacist.
 * Candace: Tennessee Williams worked in a shoe factory.
 * Homer: You were pretty quick with that fact.


 * Homer: Marge, after all my divorce-worthy statements and actions-many of which you don't know about-how can you kick me out now that I'm sick?


 * Homer: You're pregnant? But I kept my shirt on!


 * Marge: Homie, you have no idea what it's like being married to you.


 * Marge: I know this marriage isn't perfect, or even great, but now I even treasure the moments where it's just so-so.


 * Marge: Dr. Hibbert called in a prescription for you to pick up.
 * Homer: Narcolepsy.
 * Marge: Yes, for narcolepsy, which you should get now.


 * Marge: I smell beer. Did you go to Moe's?
 * Homer: Every time I have beer on my breath, you assume I've been drinking.


 * Marge: Did you at least get the medicine?
 * Homer: I tried, and I failed. Miserably.


 * Therapist: Like all married women you're sick of your husband. But sometimes you're afraid of losing him.
 * Homer: And like all married men, I didn't hear that first thing and am overconfident of the second.


 * Homer: [to the Therapist] And you thought our only option was to break up.
 * Therapist: I never said that. If I told people that didn't belong together they shouldn't be together, I'd be out of a job.
 * Homer: Huh, I must have dreamed that, too.


 * Bart: [crying] Why is Daddy leaving? Is it all my fault?
 * [laughs]
 * Bart: Man, I've been waiting to do that for a long time.
 * [shouts]
 * Bart: All my problems are my parents' fault!


 * Candace: I'm just floating this, but have you ever thought it's a good thing that Marge dumped you? I mean, I've dated more girls than you.


 * Homer: I would love to get into snowman shape. I can’t even fit into my scarf anymore.