No Such Thing As a Free Comic/Quotes


 * Squeeky-Voiced Teen: How can Krusty put a smile on your face today?
 * Bart: Two Krustymeals, my good man.
 * Squeeky-Voiced Teen: Coming right up.


 * Comic Book Guy: Excuse me, gentlemen...
 * Bart: What do you, want?
 * Comic Book Guy: I was wondering if I might interest either of you in selling me one of your comic books?
 * Bart: Get your own.
 * Comic Book Guy: Those happen to be the last ones.
 * Bart: Then you'd better get in your geekmobile.
 * Milhouse: Y-yeah, there's a Krusty Burger in Shelbyville.
 * Comic Book Guy: You toy with my ire, halflings.


 * Krusty: The Krusty kids command!
 * Johnny Buns: We got your call, dude!
 * All-American Fry: Is there some danger you need to be rescued from, Krusty!
 * Patty Crisp: Or maybe you have a joke to share?
 * Onion Jack: G'day, mate!
 * Krusty: None of that mishegas, Patty. Step into my office, folks. Our profit margins are heading for toiletville. We have to make some cuts and I'm not talking sliced gerkins here. SO one of you has to go!


 * Krusty: You all made it!
 * Johnny Buns: So which one of us is fired?
 * Onion Jack: Who, mate?
 * Krusty: All of you! Wha-hey! Krustyburger has merged with Lard Lad Donuts to form a mega-chain! There's no room in the budget for any of you!
 * Lard Lad: Hit the bricks, losers!


 * Bart: What a rip! This comic wasn't about Krusty! Just some dumb menu items skateboarding for eight pages!
 * Milhouse: No spoilers! I haven't finished it yet!
 * Bart: And Sideshow Mel wasn't even in it.
 * Milhouse: I heard he wanted creative control.