Ring-a-Ding Springfield/Quotes


 * Clancy Wiggum: Venetian who? Listen, buddy, can I put you on hold for a sec? I'm on the other line... Otto, I'm putting the terroist back on the line! Whatever you do, do not let the bus drop below 50 miles per hour, or it'll explode!
 * Otto: This is not what I meant when I said I wanted to get bombed this morning!
 * Ralph: Daddy, why is the bus going so fast?
 * Clancy Wiggum: Uh... Otto's racing the other buses to see who can get you kids to school the quickest!
 * Ralph: What happens when there's no more road?
 * Clancy Wiggum: Don't worry, Ralphie, that could never happen.
 * Otto: Uh, actually, fuzzmeister, the little dude's on to something...


 * Ned: Hello? God, is it you?
 * Fat Tony: So we're goin' biblical with the code names now, 'zat it? Okay, I'll play along-- this is God calling to tell you that you are late with your tithe payment.
 * Ned: Uh.... I think you might have the wrong numberino there, omnipotent one!
 * Fat Tony: Unless you'd like a little "disco inferno" at your night club, you'd better pass us the collection plate immediately!
 * Ned: Uh, can I just put you on hold for a sec?


 * Moe: So, you need mo' of Moe... eh baby? Hahahaha! Get it? Mo' of Moe! Seriously, you wanna get married? 'cause If you ain't afraid of a man with chronic psoriasis and a manageable B.O. condition, then let's take the plunge!
 * Bart: Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
 * Moe: What's so funny? Oh great, you can hear how ugly I am, can't you?
 * Bart: Man, that prank call was too easy! HE made a jerk of himself before I could even say anything!


 * Professor Frink: I've finally invented a phone that can call alternate universes! Greetings, oh, mighty peer of parallel-attitude [NNG-HEY!] tell me, how is your universe different from mine? What makes it special?
 * Apu: Special? Well, for a limited time we are offering the Kwik-E Combo... a 72-ounce Squishee, A Kwik-E corn dog, and a dirty magazine of your choosing for only $9.99 plus tax!
 * Professor Frink: Kwik-E combo?! You're not from an alternate universe, are you?
 * Apu: Sir, you have obviously not been to Calcutta.
 * Professor Frink: What's the use? MY phone is a flop!


 * Cletus: Are you sayin' ifn'n I buy this here "science phone," I can talk to astronauts and aliens?
 * Nelson: Yeah, sure, whatever! IT's twenty bucks, take it or leave it.
 * Cletus: I don't know... how come it ain't in a box or got no storybook that shows you how to use it?
 * Nelson: Er, ah, there they are!
 * Nelson: Because it talks to you and tells you how to use it, all right?!
 * Joe Quimby: Those are the thugs that stole my cell phone!
 * Nelson: Uh-oh!
 * Cletus: Hey, what about my telly-phone?
 * Nelson: Run for it!