The Ten Commandments of Bart

"The Ten Commandments of Bart" is the fifth track on The Yellow Album. It is a rap song done by Bart with some help from Lisa, Maggie and Homer. The song was written by Simpsons creator Matt Groening and Greg Haver.

Lyrics

 * (Lisa plays a sax riff underneath low synth pads)


 * Bart:
 * Ha ha ha ha ha!


 * (piano comes in and the song begins in a mid-90s 'house' style)


 * Singers:
 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (If you wanna be happy!)


 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
 * Thou shall have fun!


 * Bart:
 * Ladies and gentlemen, hello, it's Bart again.
 * Here to mention rules that I'd like to recommend,
 * 'Cause like it or lump it, this is Simpson-style,
 * And this I demand: Don't touch that dial!


 * I got your attention, so you'd better listen up!
 * Dance if you must, but please don't interrupt!
 * 'Cause the singing I'm slayin' comes straight from the heart.
 * I call this little song "The Ten Commandments of Bart".


 * Singers:
 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (If you wanna be happy!)


 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
 * Thou shall have fun!


 * Bart:
 * Let us begin with commandment number ten:
 * Thou shalt be sure to shake your big rear end.
 * Shake it for your mama, and shake it for when
 * You wanna party-harty and get down in the den!


 * Getting funky in the rumpus room would be kinda hip.
 * You bring the chips, I'll bring the bean dip.
 * By this, I mean shake your bootius maximus,
 * Make everybody happy, give them satisfactimus!


 * Now comes a time for commandment number nine.
 * It's goes something like this: thou shalt always make rhymes.
 * 'Cause rhyming is a way, man, to make your own news.
 * Better than CNN, better than Family Values.


 * Don't get me misconstrued, I'm not tryin' to be crude,
 * But a bad attitude will put you in a good mood.
 * It ain't true that our culture's in a decline,
 * Just listen to the super-fine, spine-shaking bass line.


 * (bass synth solo)


 * Now you're itchin' and twitchin' to this mucho bewitchin',
 * The hip-hop tune that I'm presently hatchin'.
 * Hold on to your hats, because here come the scratchin'!


 * (dj does some scratching and the song stops abruptly)


 * Who did that?


 * (song immediately restarts)


 * Let's cruise, shall we now, to commandment number eight,
 * Goes exactly like this: Thou shall procrastinate!
 * Put another way, this means you must be late,
 * Whenever you can, make everybody wait.


 * When homework is due, don't give in to fate.
 * But do say: teacher, guess what, the dog ate it.
 * Of all the commandments, none can be greater...
 * If you want more details, come back later!


 * Singers:
 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (If you wanna be happy!)


 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
 * Thou shall have fun!


 * (song switches styles to Satanic heavy metal)


 * Bart:
 * Movin' right along, here's commandment number seven:
 * Thou shalt go wild, 'cause you'll never get to heaven.
 * You don't say "No," you do say "Yo!"
 * You hear bad songs, turn up the radio.


 * Then, when you're dead, Fred, where you gonna go?
 * You're going down low, where the rocks grow.
 * The whole scene looks like a heavy metal video
 * Except no guitars, 'cause, wouldn't ya know,
 * It's swell down in hell except...
 * The Devil plays the banjo.


 * (banjo solo!)


 * Ha ha ha ha ha!


 * (back to original house style)


 * Next up here is commandment number six,
 * It goes like this: Thou shalt dance like lunatics.
 * Try to get movin' and shakin' and groovin'
 * And hoppin' and moppin' and flippity-floppin'.


 * (the beat drops out)


 * Hey, what happened? Beat box is broke.
 * Maggie, come here quick, I'm starting to choke.
 * Come on girl, here's the deal, I'm really stuckin',
 * I need your help, so, Maggie, please start suckin'.


 * (Maggie sucks her pacifier rhythmically)


 * Oh, yeah, that's it, that's what I require,
 * An inspired baby sister with an ultra-hip pacifier.


 * (beat comes back in, but Maggie continues to suck)


 * And now we arrive to commandment number five.
 * Short and sweet: Thou shalt be alive.
 * Take off your pants, strut around in the nude.
 * If somebody sees you, say "What's happenin', dude?"


 * Oh, yeah, now we're starting to soar.
 * The countdown continues: commandment number four!
 * I say unto you: Thou shalt slam the door.
 * Wake up the neighbors, that's what it's for.


 * Slam it again. Slam it some more.
 * Now you got a beat that never happened before.


 * Singers:
 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (If you wanna be happy!)


 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
 * Thou shall have fun!


 * Bart:
 * Which brings us on to commandment number three:
 * Thou shalt question authority.
 * 'Cause authority hates curiosity,
 * Which leads straight to originality.


 * From there, my friends, spontaneity.
 * And the downward spots straight to mockery.
 * Then a hop and a skip to mutiny.
 * Then mutiny leads to anarchy.


 * Then a...


 * (Homer cuts Bart off)


 * Homer:
 * Bart! Knock it off! Turn it down!


 * Bart:
 * Okay, okay. Here's commandment number two:
 * Thou shalt do exactly what you wanna do.
 * Get a tattoo, eat a honeydew,
 * Raid a taboo, paint your head blue.


 * If you're bald, go buy a toupee.
 * If you're starved, go eat a souflee.
 * If you're crazy, get on the subway.
 * If you're bored, dance on the freeway.


 * If you're sexy, put on negligee.
 * 'Cause this is what I have to say:
 * Hurray for horseplay, gotta have horseplay.
 * Besides that, man, eh, what the hay!


 * And now, at last it's commandment number one.
 * Put quite simply,


 * Bart and Singers:
 * Thou shalt have fun!


 * Singers:
 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (If you wanna be happy!)


 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
 * Thou shall have fun!


 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (If you wanna be happy!)


 * Thou shall have fun!
 * (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)
 * Thou shall have fun!


 * Thou shalt have fun!


 * Lisa:
 * That was pretty cool, huh? (giggles)