Maximum Homerdrive/Quotes

Well son, I guess it's time to go home. Any thoughts on how we're going to get there? No, but I'm sure the good Lord will provide.
 * [Nearby an engineer argues with a man in a military uniform.]

Are you crazy? I'm not driving a trainload of napalm to Springfield. [throws his cap on the ground and walks off] Thank you.

Look, son. It's one of Nature's most beautiful sights… the convoy.
 * '[One of the trucks hits Homer's trailer]''

He hit us! Oh, I should have known. They're hazing us, to initiate us into the truckers' fraternity. [the truck is hit again] Thank you sir, may I have another? Dad, they're trying to kill us. Oh, why do all my trips end like this?

All right, pal, here's the deal. You stumbled on a secret that only truck drivers are supposed to know… [Homer giggles] … Hey, pay attention and stop looking at that squirrel. We get forty bucks an hour to drive these rigs. You think anybody'd hire us if they knew we weren't driving the trucks? Wow, you guys are even lazier than me. Well, don't worry, I'll keep your secret.

Uh, yeah. I need something that will keep me awake, alert, and reckless all night long. Well, Congress is racing back to Washington to outlaw these. [shows him a bottle of pills] Sold!
 * [Swallows the pills straight away.]

Hey, you can't take that many pep pills at once. No problem, I'll balance it out with a bottle of sleeping pills.