King of the Hill/Quotes

It's time for the church picnic. What? They had a picnic last week. No, they didn't. You just brought a bucket of chicken to church. If God didn't want us to eat in church, he would have made gluttony a sin.

Okay, Dad. They've got our flag guarded pretty good. I agree. Let's surrender. No, wait. I have a plan. But I'll need your underpants. Mmm, all right, but don't lose 'em. They're my only pair.

Okay, boy, I want you to keep this exercise thing under your hat. That way, I won't be embarrassed if I fail. [barks]
 *  [ Snowball II runs inside the house.]

Oh, great, now the cat knows!

What will it be Mr. Simpson? Your usual bucket of ice cream covered with miniature pies? Eh, don't you have anything healthy here? Ooh, well we do have some low-salt candy bars, and some reduced-fat soda. And our beef jerky is now nearly rectum free!

How can you put that filth into your bodies? My casserole is not filth. [to kids] Eat it! Look at you people! Bart's a tub, Lisa's weak as a little girl and Maggie doesn't seem to be growing at all! Now that's just not- You too, Marge. If you toned up a little, you'd probably get a lot more action.

Sorry, I only eat food in bar form. When you concentrate food, you unleash its awesome power, I'm told. That's why I'm compressing five pounds of spaghetti into a handy mouth-sized bar.

New angle. Joe Schlub eats Powersauce bar, becomes world's mightiest man. It's believable. That's what I like about it.

Son, don't go up that mountain! You'll die up there, just like I did!

I foresaw your death last night. Stop saying that.

Dad, wait. You're not risking your life just ti impress me, are you? Well, yeah. Oh, cool. Now get going, chop, chop.

Hey, you guys are dragging me up the mountain! Brad and Neil were quite insistent you not die. Frankly, we don't care.

Homer Simpson here. I've sent the Sherpas home and I'm heading for the top- solo. Are you crazy? You'll never make it! The hell I won't! You're forgetting I've got my Powersauce bars! Wake up, Homer! Those bars are just junk! They're made out of apple cores and Chinese newspapers!
 * [Homer looks at the bar he's eating.]

Hey, died.

I have mountaineered to the utmost, but the peak is unclimbable. Worse still, that treacherous skunk Abe Simpson stole my oxygen and tried to eat my left arm. Tell my beloved wife that my last thoughts were of her... blinding and torturing Abe Simpson. Cheerio.

Family to dad, family to dad, come in, Dad. Uh, I'm pretty sure he's dead, little girl. Here, have a Powersauce bar. It's on the house.