Homer Sucks!/Quotes


 * Superintendent Chalmers: Skiinnnnerr!
 * Seymour Skinner: Yes, superintendent Chalmers?
 * Superintendent Chalmers: Why are we in a bouncy castle?
 * Seymour Skinner: Someone release a stink bomb in my regular office!


 * Gil: Hello, ma'am, would you like to buy a top-of-the-line vaccum... aw, it's on fire again!
 * Homer: Hey, pal... could you help me sell a new type of vacuum cleaner?
 * Gil: Mister, you're talking to the best man for the job! As long as you don't look into my references. Please don't call my references!


 * Ralph: Ground beef keeper Willie! You're not our school mommy!
 * Willie: Miss Hoover is taking care of a cavity at the dentist. I did the same thing last month with a woodpecker and some tin foil and no one gave Willie the day off!
 * Lisa: Mr. Willie, are you sure you can teach this class?
 * Willie: I dinna know, Lass. You're supposed to learn math today... How many of ya think Willie can't teach you what a fraction is? Okay, that's fourteen out of twenty! Now your ain't just learning math! Ye are math!
 * Lisa: [GASP!] Willie didn't just teach us what a fraction is, he made the class into one!


 * Dr. Nick: You're allergic to success! If you keep doing well, you'll die!
 * Gil: Homer! Looks like you'll have to take over the business! I'm so sorry!
 * Homer: So I won't have to split all that money with you or anyone else?
 * Homer: I'll never forget your, Phil!
 * Gil: That's Gil!


 * Lisa: Dad, your vacuum is sucking up all the pollen in the area!
 * Professor Frink: And if the bees can't pollinate the plants, it'll lead to ecological tragedy!
 * Homer: Lisa honey, don't worry. Nature only bothers people who are poor. We're going to be rich!
 * Lisa: But the world...
 * Homer: If it get too hot, we'll move somewhere cold. If it gets too wet, we'll move somehwere dry! That's what people with money do!
 * Lisa: But bees are our friends!
 * Homer: So why did they always fly in my mouth and sting me when I was riding my bike as a kid? Nature's a jerk, and It can solve it's own problems for once!