The Great Springfield Donut War!/Quotes


 * Abe: "Woodstock"? We already went to Woodstock! And don't you are use that "Spunky" routine on me!
 * Homer: Yeah, remember, pop? "Six days of peace, love, understanding"... and mud! Acres of mud!
 * Abe: Yeah, and I'm still plenty steamed that Sha-Na-Na never showed up! Anyway, I'll give you some "under-standing," you hopped-up hooligan!


 * Abe: The lawn's destroyed and the water bill is gonna be outrageous! I'll tell you one thing -- I'm not paying for this!
 * Homer: Uh, I will... if I can have an advance on the next 572 weeks on allowance.
 * Abe: Dream on, boy! It's up to you to raise up that cash!
 * Homer: But, Dad, I've never had a job before!
 * Abe: Well, it's high time you started learning to pull your weight around here!
 * Homer: (thinking) Hmm... Mom said the exact same thing... right before she walked out on us forever!


 * Homer: ('in Lard Lad costume) Hey, everybody! Eat Lard Lad donuts! They're the lardiest!
 * Man in car: Hey, that puts me in the mood for a Krusty Burger!


 * Homer: [PHEW!] That hot sun is brutal! I feel like gonna melt!
 * Eddie Muntz: (throws a soda can at Homer) Here. Have a cold drink! Haw-Haw!
 * Homer: Y'know, I hope that Muntz kid grows up to have son who's even more rotten than he is!


 * Homer: Y'know, I'm starting to think these "accidents" are no accident! Those guys from Keep on Dunkin' Donuts are trying to put Lard Lad Donuts out of business! And if Lard Lad goes out of business, then I'm out of a job! And if I'm out of a job, then my dad's gonna clobber me! I'm doomed!


 * Homer: So, didja remember to bring any insects?
 * Barney: Don't bug me, man! I bought 'em... and a whole lot more! See? We'll put Weevils in their flour, moths in their powdered suger, and cockroaches in their grease!
 * Homer: Wow! When the inspector from the board of health sees them, he'll flip!
 * Barney: If these guys thought their donuts were 100% organic before, wait until they find them full of this 100% organic vermin!
 * Homer: Hey, hold on a second Barney! Soemthings' not right here!
 * Barney: What are you talkin' about, Homey?
 * Homer: Take a look at these labels! This stuff isn't organic, it's completely synthetic! Wow, that means on Dunkin's Donuts are 100% phony!
 * Barney: (finds a toupee and fringe jacket in an open drawer) So is Jimmy Maplelog! Aren't these his hair and clothes?


 * Abe: What do you mean, your bonus was dozens of free Lard Lad donuts?
 * Homer: Yeah, and they wre delicious!
 * Abe: But you still owe me a small fortune!
 * Homer: Problem is, after eating all those donuts, I can't fit in that Lard Lad suit anymore, so I got fired!
 * Abe: Fired? Why I'll add some "fire" to your heinie, you lard-filled layabout!
 * Sound: Throttle!
 * Homer: Uh, t-take it easy, pop! [CHOKE!] Remember your blood pressure!

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