Homer's New Year's Resolutions/Quotes


 * Marge: Homie, I'm back from the Kwik-E-Mat. They didn't have that flavor of jerky to wanted Apu says they don't make "boysen-berry."
 * Homer: Can't talk, Marge. I making up my list of New Year's resolutions.
 * Marge: But, Homer, you never keep any of your resolutions.
 * Homer: What are you talking about? I've kept all of them!
 * Marge: Last year you promised to take me on a romantic trip to an exotic locale.
 * Homer: All except that one.
 * Marge: Then prove it.
 * Homer: "Remember when I vowed that I would lose eight?" Look, Marge! I lost two punds!
 * Marge: You dint' lose any wight. You just replaced your regular clotehs with clothes made out of paper.
 * Homer: "How about when I resolved to put a brand new blade on Flander's lawn mower. Boy! That worked great!"
 * Marge: Well, I guess that was nice. Did your return the lawn mower?
 * Homer: Yeah, yeah, yeah... I'll get to it. The point is I mowed the lawn.
 * Marge: We were talking about your resolutions.
 * Homer: But I'm telling you, I keep them, Marge! "I promised I'd spend more time with the kids."
 * Maggie: Suck Suck
 * Homer: "And I promised I'd drink fewer mugs of beer."
 * Moe: I gotta rethink this drink special.
 * Marge: Oh, Homer, all of a sudden i Don't fell so good. I think that chicken salad I ate earlier isn't sitting well.
 * Homer: [GASP!] You ate my chicken salad? But I was going to eat that when I finished my list!
 * Marge: Did you cook the chicken all the way through?
 * Homer: Oh, Marrge, don't be silly. You don't cook salads.
 * Marge: I think you'd better take me to the hostpital. I'm going... to...
 * Homer: Don't worry, Marge, I'll take care of every-thing!
 * Message: The next day in a hospital in Jamaica...
 * Marge: This is not what i meant by a romantic trip to an exotic locale.
 * Homer: These are my new years' resolutions, Marge. I get to decide how to keep them! Piña colada I.V., honey?