Mayored to the Mob/Quotes

Homer... Use the for-- The Force? The forks! Use the forks!

[to his publicist, regarding his lack of popularity at the convention] This is one small stop towards firing your ass!

You call yourselves bodyguards? You're fired! Fired, huh? Who else you gonna find to take a bullet for ya? Or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery? I'll tell ya who! Him! [points to Homer, standing with his family] Woo-hoo! Homer, I don't think you were listening to what he just-- [sternly] I said, woo-hoo.


 * [Leavelle pretends to fire a rifle at a watermelon on a podium. Homer dives in front of the bullet's path.]

Nooo!
 * [Homer tumbles to the ground and Leavelle walks over.]

Well. your dive wasn't bad, but I just didn't believe your "Nooo!" You gotta sell it! Remember, your "Nooo!" is what gets you your next job. Now drop and give me twenty. [dramatically] NOOOOOO!!!! Better.

Oh, for Pete's sake. [into walkie-talkie] The pig is in the poke. You know, I really don't care for that code-name. Look out, Marge! Cat! [tackles Marge to the ground, sending oranges rolling] I know you're excited about starting a new job, but could you just... relax for now? [to Bart and Lisa] Hold it, What's your clearence? We just wanna get a snack Access denied. But dad-- [Homer pinches Bart and Lisa in the shoulder and sending into the floor asleep] Homer, I don't wanna you using your new sleeper holder on the children. They'll be fine in half an hour. [scoffs] That's not the point that's not the point. And another thing, I asked you to take out the garbage three days ago, and you still haven't--- [Homer pinches her in the shoulder sending her into the floor asleep] [looking at a sleeping Marge, Bart and Lisa and looks at his watch] Hmm. Still half an hour till dinner. Oh well. [pinches himself in the shoulder and fells into the floor and hits the table] OW!


 * [Homer slaps the milk out of Bart's hands.]

Hey my Milk! I traded my math book for that! Dad what a nice surprise [attempts to kiss him] Get that away from me! Kids i don't wanna you drinking anymore milk! Ever!