Flaming Moe's/Quotes

What do you offer in the way of salary? Minimum wage and tips. Of course, there are fringe benefits. Such as? An unforgettable weekend at Club Moe. I'd prefer to take my vacation somewhere hot. I like your moxie kid! You're hired. You won't regret this. Methinks I shan't.

Uh, yes. I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass, first name Hugh. Hold on, I'll check. [to crowd] Hugh Jass. Oh, somebody check the men's room for Hugh Jass.
 * [a man approaches Moe]

Uh, I'm Hugh Jass. Telephone.
 * [Moe hands Hugh the phone]

Hello, this is Hugh Jass. Uh, hi. Who's this? Bart Simpson. What can I do for you, Bart? Uh, look. I'll level with you, mister. This is a crank call that sorta backfired, and I'd like to bail out right now. All right, better luck next time.

Henceforth, this date shall forever be known as Flaming Moe's Day! Uh, sir, this is already Veterans' Day. It can be two things!

The Flaming Moe is not for sale. Do you know how much of my blood and sweat are in this drink? [everybody in the bar spits out their drink] Uh, figure of speech.

Homer, maybe you can take some consolation in the fact that something you created is making so many people happy.
 * Homer Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from Happyland in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane!
 * [Homer walks out the room then sticks his head back in again]

Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic. Well, duh.