Smart and Smarter/Quotes

I'm tired. I'm hungry. Red plastic sandals are not good running-away footwear.

Just because Maggie can't talk doesn't mean she's dumb. Einstein didn't speak until he was 3. And even then he could only speak German.

I can't believe I'm jealous of a baby! Hey, so am I! When you're a baby, you can just spend all day rolling around on the floor. [sighs] I miss those days. Then roll, baby! [Bart rolls on the bus floor] Ha Ha! Floor Baby! You're laughing at him for something you made him do. Well… you're gay! People who call other people gay are often covering up their own latent homosexuality.
 * [Nelson panics and jumps out the emergency exit; he rolls and then gets back up.]

BULLIES RULE!

The pig says, "oink!" The chicken says.. Stop! I could go to any Chuck E' Cheese in America if I want to hear what animals say. You know what I say? I say next!
 * [The mother picks up the little boy and walks away.]

You're a poopie! [to the mother] Do you nurse with that mouth?

Look what they sent over. A talking dealy. His name is Phonics Frog. [presses A, B, and C] Ah-Buh-Cuh…
 * [Homer types his name.]

Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Ur That's me! Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Ur. [presses more buttons] This-Is-Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Ur-Dok-tor-Hee's-too-sick-too-urk-too-day.
 * [Homer laughs.]

Uh… I'll be right back. [runs to the phone]

[to Comic Book Guy] Sir, you can't take food into the theater. Search all you want. You'll never find it all. I'm baking muffins as we speak.


 * [Lisa tries to be a stand-up comedian.]

So... why do they call them field trips? We never go to a field! Not true! Last week we went to a battlefield. Uh, well I... I'm bem-barrassed for you! The following "Ha Ha" is not from amusement, but a sign of contempt. Ha Ha!

So Maggie's NOT a genius? Oh, she could be… at sweeping up hair! That's my baby, jerk! [punches Henry leaving him with a bruise on his nose] You call that a punch? I felt it, but it was like "so what"? [Homer punches Henry again leaving a nosebleed] Oh, again with the nose. I have a chin too, you know! [Homer punches Henry making him unconscious] [as the butler] Don't worry sir, the maid and I will take him out to the curb. Come on! [as the maid] You promised me no one would get hurt!


 * [When Lisa is dressed up as a goth.]

What are you now, Lisa? An Oakland Raiders fan?

We've all learned something today. Never be something you're not, namely food.

[after seeing his name in the ending credits] Now, there's a celebrity!

[when the "Gracie Films" woman shushes] Oh, shhh yourself!

She's as common as an angry woman in an play.