Dial "N" for Nerder/Quotes

Homer: Oh, boy, dinnertime. The perfect break between work and drunk.

[While riding bikes in Springfield National Park, Bart and Lisa come across Martin, who is excavating for arrowheads.]

Lisa: May I join you?

Martin: Care to make it a trio, Bart? You can brush and I can blow!

Bart: Well, I agree you blow.

Martin: Then it's a plan!

Bart: A lot of people blow. But no one blows like you!

Martin: High praise indeed!

Bart: When you look up 'blow' in the dictionary ...

Lisa: [interrupting] Bart, he's not gonna get it.

[Now riding by himself, Bart sees a sleeping Sideshow Mel and decides to pull a prank ...]

Bart: The bone's the very thing, methinks, to prank my sister and the dink. [steals the bone from Mel's hair]

[Bart leaves the bone partially buried in the road for Martin to find.]

Martin: A bone! An unusual specimen, I wonder what it belonged to.

Bart: Maybe it's from a "dorkasaurus".

Martin: "Dorkasaur--" Well, that's an absurd proposition!

Bart: You're an absurd propo--

Lisa: [interrupting, sharply] Forget it!

[The Sneakers host has just set up Marge to confront Homer cheating on his diet, and Marge is winding up to deliver a roundhouse slap.]

Host: That's it, Marge. Slap him good.

[Marge slaps the host instead of Homer.]

Marge: Sick! You're not trying to help our marriage. You're trying to split us up! Well, I'd rather have a chubby hubby than a sexy exy.

Principal Skinner: Martin Prince was known by many names. Martin Priss, Martin Princess, Fartsin Prince, Martin the Brown-Nose Reindeer...

Dolph: That was mine.

(Marge is suspicious of Homer, who is wearing a fedora hat and a trench coat.)

Marge: Homer, where are you going?

Homer: Work.

Marge: It's 4 o'clock on a Saturday.

Homer: I, uh, have to... count the atoms at the nuclear plant. Conservation of mass! It's the law!

Lisa: Bart, Martin could be seriously hurt or worse! We have to do something!

Bart: You're right. Let's watch TV.

Bart: Usually when I do something bad, I feel good. But not this time. Martin was like Jesus... only real.

Bart: (about a school assignment) The Internet wrote it, I just handed it in.