A Brand New Burns, Part Two!/Quotes


 * Homer: As god is my witness... ...no matter where you are... ...no matter if it takes my entire life... ...I will find you, Mr. Burns!


 * Lisa: I hesitate to admit this, mom... ...but dad might be right about not involving the polce. This is a vast criminal conspiract. Going public with this could just endanger Mr. Burns and us.
 * Homer: Oh yeah! We could all be murdered in our sleep! And yoooooou wanted to go to the cops!
 * Marge: Hrmmm...
 * Lisa: It's up to us to rescue Mr. Burns and expose his doopelganger to the world before the fauz Burns takes all the money and leavs Springfield a ghost town!


 * Esteban: Señor! We are discovered!
 * Hank Scorpio: Sorry, Kim Jung... pressing business. Don't worry, Esteban... Hank Scorpio always has an exit strategy. Strap in. It's going to be a little rough until we achive escape Velocity.


 * Waylon Smithers: Mr. Burns!
 * Clancy Wiggum: Spare the tears, citizien! That guy was a phony. A fake. A fraud.
 * Waylon Smithers: I will not let you malign the most wonderful man I've ever known!
 * Clancy Wiggum: That's not C. Montgomery Burns under there!
 * Lou: Yeah, he was like an evil twin.
 * Eddie: Or like Spock when he had the goatee.
 * Waylon Smithers: [SOB!] You've made me so happy!
 * Clancy Wiggum: Uh... this is still about Burns beign alive, right?
 * Waylon Smithers: Then where is Mr. Burns?
 * Clancy Wiggum: The Mexican cops are all over it like jalapeños on a frijole.


 * Waylon Smithers: Oh, sir, how can you ever forgive me?
 * Mr. Burns: Oh, shut up, Smithers and pour in more bleach. I have to rid myself of this awful tan I got south of the border.
 * Waylon Smithers: Yes, sir!
 * Mr. Burns: All is as it was rhough I had to pay a premium to buy back my own assests. This will necessitate some momentary belt-tightening.