The Italian Bob/Quotes

A new car? May I suggest an
 * [Silence.]

Mr. Burns sucks!
 * [Everyone laughs.]

- You're sending me to Italy? Yes. Can I take my family? Sure. Do I have to hang out with them? It would be nice.
 * [Homer groans.]

- Why can't you people learn to speak my language? I learned to eat your food! - [sees a man in first class on the plane] Hey, that man has a TV in his seat. I wonder what I got.
 * [Rips off the top of the armrest.]

Oh, just a bunch of stupid wires.
 * [Homer rips off some of the wires and one of the engines falls off, landing in Cletus' front yard.]

Hey, Brandine! The kids just gots themselves a new playpen! Cletus, you're the most wonderful husband and son I ever had. - [at the airport] What's up with the Canadian sticker on your backpack? Well, some people in Europe think that America has made some stupid choices for the past, oh, five years. So for the next week, I'm from Canada. Uh, I think Dad may blow your cover. [pushing through the crowd] That flag is mine! [takes an American flag off the conveyor belt and stands on top of suitcases, waving the flag around] Don't mess with Texas! Shock and awe, losers! Shock and awe! - Excuse me, Mr. Mayor. They say you speak English. Indeed I do.
 * [Man turns around to reveal that he is Sideshow Bob.]

Sideshow Bob! The Simpsons!
 * [They all scream.]

- Yes, tell us your story. But it better have a beginning, a middle, and an end. - Mi arrendo. Questo è troppo difficile. Piedini. -
 * [Homer gestures like Mussolini on the balcony]

[whispering] Dad, don't act like Mussolini. Ooh, I thought I was doing. - This is my bride, Francesca, and my son, Gino. Holy moley! I always thought that you were, you know, out loud and proud. Well, I experimented in college as one does. Yeah. I never went to college. [sarcastically] Stop the presses. - [to Francesca] Hello. I'm Marge. This is my husband, Homer, my daughters, Lisa and Maggie, and my son, Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson? The name Roberto cries when he has the bad dream? [making stabbing motions with his hand] Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! I make-a like my daddy! - We are here to honor my old friends, the Simpsons. Tomorrow they return to America, taking with them my gratitude, my friendship, and my heartfelt wish that they never return. - [looking in an Italian to English Dictionar]] Vendetta means...vendetta! [all the Simpsons scream]

Boy, that Sideshow Bob goes from zero to murder awfully fast. At least this time it was Lisa who ruined Bob's life. [groaning] Oh, I feel so sick! [chuckle]] It's called a hangover, sweetie. And it's an unavoidable part of life. - Please help us, Krusty. We don't want to be the first Christians to die at the Colosseum! - Here's a cute fact. This sausage shop has been grinding the same family of pigs for six hundred years. Sono abitato dai fantasmi di diecimila maiali morti. - Oh, he makes love like a man who just got out of jail. - Hey, Krusty's in an opera here in Rome! He can save our lives! Come on, let's go! [groans] Opera? They have that here too? - You have to help us! Sideshow Bob has sworn a vendetta against us! Vendetta? What's that, an Italian vending machine? [the Simpsons stare at him for a few seconds before Krusty bursts into tears] Aw! That's my opening joke! And my closer, and my saver, and my topper! - Put on these costumes and mix in with the crowd scenes. He won't kill you in front of all those witnesses! Can I be the Phantom of the Opera? Dad, the Phantom isn't in this. But I do such a great impression of him! [turns around and turns back to them with his hand covering one of his eyes] Ooh, I am the gayest supervillain ever! Beware my scented candles! Ooh, scented! - I can't believe what that clown is doing to ! And they call me a murderer! - Krusty, you saved us! Yeah, well, I need someone to help me smuggle antiquities back to America. Take a piece and hide it on your person. Hide it well. - [on an ancient Roman aqueduct; to Homer] Dad! You're driving on an ancient Roman aqueduct! [to Lisa] Well, what am I supposed to do about it? Transport water from distant cities? - [about to drive off an end of an unfinished aqueduct] Lazy Romans! - [stomping grapes to the tune of "These Boots Are Made for Walking"] "These feet are made for stomping, and that's just what they'll do. One of these days these feet will make Chianti out of you!" - We're in a foreign city with no car, being stalked by a killer. I feel like I'm. - [talking to the audience at the Colosseum] So, I had this beautiful tour guide, right? And I tell her "I want to see your Naples!" She slaps me! [he laughs but the audience is silent] We call it "Napoli"! Yeah, well it sounds like you're all taking a Napoli! I know you're out there, I can hear you being greasy! -
 * [in Venice, the Simpsons take a gondola ride]

Oh, Homie, isn't Venice romantic? This gondola ride was a wonderful idea! [singing to the tune of That's Amore] ''When a wife looks like that and her husband's so fat, that's immoral. When she kisses that jerk while I do all the work, that's im...'' Hey, knock it off! Excusi, no speak-an English. [resumes singing] When that big tub of lard... - Dad, cheese truck!
 * [They scream.]

[gasps] Mozzarella! Parmigiano! Provolone! Pecorino! Gorgonzola! Fontina! Taleggio! Bocconcini!
 * [Bocconcini drops onto the windshield.]

[screaming] MORTADELLA!