Beware My Cheating Bart/Quotes


 * Homer: Thank you all for coming to my Stranded discussion group.
 * Carl: Hey, I loved that show. Wasn't it awesome when Colonel Darkwater...
 * Homer: Spoiler alert! I've only seen up to season three, episode 17: "Coconut Cream Die."
 * Lenny: So you don't know that season five was a complete wank?
 * Homer: Spoiler!
 * Lenny: Homer, calm down. It's not like any of this stuff really took place.
 * Homer: Spoiler!
 * Marge: Homer, for God sakes, I'm trying to put Maggie to sleep.
 * Homer: I'm sorry, sweetie. It's a Strandie discussion group. Yes, it is! We discuss why airplane go crash-crash but people don't die-die.


 * Marge: Bart, you haven't touched your mashed potatoes.
 * Grampa: More breast?
 * Bart: What-- No!
 * Grampa: I'm offering you a chicken breast, you boob!


 * Lisa: I don't think Shauna should choose any of you. Shauna should choose Shauna.
 * Shauna: Your older sister's right, Bart.
 * Bart: You don't want me?
 * Shauna: I want to find out who I am. And that's something only an inappropriately older man can tell me.
 * Bart: Well, that is one lucky creepy guy.


 * Shauna: So, what do you want to do now?
 * Bart: What any boy would: push you in a puddle and run away.
 * Shauna: Maybe I should be faithful to Jimbo. He's bought me a lot of gum over the past couple months.
 * Bart: Listen... I could get wedgied for this, but Jimbo's a jerk. You can do better.
 * Shauna: Wow. You told me what's best for me... at risk to yourself.


 * Shauna: You just got yourself in a flame war with a teenage girl.
 * Comic Book Guy: Oh, flame on! Oh! Oh! You have cloven me from my ponytail to my slipper shoe! Get out! And never return! Oh, unless you want to buy old Archie comics. 20 Pound bricks are a dollar. (He notices that Bart and Shauna have left the store).