Luca$/Quotes


 * Homer: But I did learn something from all this: The sprinklers in this park come on at 3:00 a.m.


 * Lisa: Hi, Dad.
 * Bart: Homer.
 * Homer: Hey, guys! Why are you ducked-down like that?
 * Bart: Don't want to be seen with you when you're hitting bottom.
 * Lisa: At least we hope it's bottom.
 * Homer: Don't worry, it's bottom, all right.


 * Milhouse: A fat kid with a dream? I can't compete with that.


 * Lisa: What does a competitive eater eat?
 * Lucas Bortner: All the glamour foods: Pizza, boiled eggs, chicken wings and the big enchilada, which is not enchiladas but hot dogs. 69 hot dogs is the current record. As the great Kobayashi says, (He show off his picture of Kobayashi was eating 2 hot dogs in his shirt) "Detekurutoki itaiyo."
 * Lisa: What does that mean?
 * Lucas: "That's gonna hurt coming out."
 * Lisa: Is Kobayashi the number one, um, uh...
 * Lucas: The correct term is "gurgitator."
 * Lisa: I won't be using the correct term then.


 * Lucas: Oh, hi. Is-is Lisa home?
 * Marge: Yes, she is. And who are you? [Lucas turn behind his sweater as the camera zoom in, "Luca$" was written in his back sweater] Lucas.
 * Lucas: [face front] It's pronounced "Luca-dollar." That's my competition name. I'm a competitive eater.
 * Homer: [off-screen] Competitive eater? Did I hear right? I could be a competitive eater?
 * Marge: No! You didn't hear anything!
 * Homer: Yes, I did! I heard "competitive eater"!
 * Marge: It's for people who haven't had heart problems.
 * Homer: Then that makes me the Jackie Robinson of the sport, and you are the racist Philadelphia manager!
 * Marge: Quit comparing me to Ben Chapman.
 * Homer: I will when you open your mind to change!
 * [Marge groans angrily as Homer walk away from her]


 * Selma: Hmm. Never saw the pork eat the beans before.
 * Marge: Actually, I'm a little surprised Lisa likes him.
 * Selma: Really! Justin Blobber over there doesn't remind you of anyone?


 * Patty: Women marry their fathers, Marge. So you just might be meeting your future "ton-in-law."


 * Homer: I'm sleeping on Flanders' couch tonight. Ours is crap.