Homie the Clown/Quotes


 * [Homer cannot get the image of Krusty's Klown Kollege out of his mind. He sees a clown that looks like Lenny dancing to circus music.]

Hey, Homer: the section you're supposed to be monitoring is on fire.
 * Four clowns tumble into room to clown music.

Clowns are funny.
 * [Performing clowns transform into Carl, Charlie, and two other men who are aflame.]

AUGH! HELP US!


 * [Homer has completed all his courses at Krusty's Klown Kollege and is dressing in a Krusty costume for his commencement.]

Wow, I'm sorry I doubted you before, Dad. If there had to be a bastardized version of Krusty, I'm glad it's you. Thanks, honey. Bank shot! [bounces seltzer off Bart's cheek and onto Lisa] Wow! That's good aim, Dad. Well, it was my major.

OK, we'll start off with the baggy -- wha? [sees Homer] Those are supposed to be baggy pants! Baggy! Ooh. I've never had a pair of pants that fit this well in my life.

OK, memorize these funny place names: Walla Walla. Keokuk. Cucamonga. Seattle -- [laughs] Stop it, you're killing me! [laughs more] Seattle.

Welcome to the noble family of skilled Krustaceans. You will now go back to your home towns and do kids' parties, swap meets, and all the other piddling crap I wouldn't touch with a ten foot clown pole. Now, come and get your catskins -- er, I mean, sheepskins.

You don't want to sit with the rest of this scum.
 * [People get mad.]

I only consider you scum-a compared to Krusty.
 * [People forgive him.]

Yeah, you see how you scum.


 * [Homer gets abducted by Fat Tony due to his resemblance to Krusty.]

But wait... you can't kill me for being Krusty the Klown. I'm not him... I'm Homer Simpson! The same Homer Simpson who crashed his car through the wall of our club? Uh, actually, my name is Barney. Yeah, Barney Gumble. The same Barney Gumble who keeps taking picture of my sister? Uh, actually, my real name is, uh -- think, Krusty, think! -- Joe Valachi! The same Joe Valachi who squealed to the Senate Committee about Organized Crime? Benedict Arnold! The same Benedict Arnold who plotted to surrender West Point to the hated British?