Miracle on Evergreen Terrace/Quotes

...aren't we forgetting the true meaning of this day? The birth of Santa.

[to Homer] I know you're used to getting hate mail, but I'm not!

In my long career, I've seen some pretty shabby things. But this putrid fraud out stinks them all. Aaaaaaand cut. I just wanna thank you folks so much. This has turned out to be a really great story for me!

Kent Brockman here for a follow-up with Springfield's favorite hard-luck family, the Simpsons. Folks, any words for the Christmas thief if he's watching? Eh, yes… Kent. Uh, hello… jerk. We may never find you, and we should probably all stop looking. But one thing's for sure… you do exist. Strong words, strong bewildering words.

Is this car $15,000? [rubs off the $12,000 price tag] It is now. And because of your loss, folks, I'll throw in the undercoating for two hund---No, four hundred and ninety bucks! What a deal! I'd be a sucker not to get it! I don't know about this, dad, shouldn't we give the money to charity or some--Oww! Oh, I'm sorry, I jammed you with my pen. Oww! You're still doing it! I know.

Fifteen thousand mazoolians? Holy shlamola! Whaddya gonna do with all that kablingy?