American History X-cellent/Quotes


 * Lisa: Such an intricate formicarium. I'm the proudest myrmecologist on the block. Hey, they're not eating.
 * Bart: Don't worry. I gave 'em a Pop-Tart. The healthy kind strawberry-frosted.
 * Lisa: Bart, that Pop-Tart wasn't locally farmed or sourced.
 * Bart: Oh, Lisa, you take the fun out of everything. I am so glad I am not your kid.
 * Lisa: Well, I'm so glad I'm not your mom.
 * Bart: You should be. If I was in your tummy, I'd poo in your throat.
 * Lisa: Ew. Ew. Ew. I'll never get that image out of my head.


 * Homer: Smithers, what a marshmallow. I don't have a thing with my kid tomorrow.
 * Carl: You told me you did.
 * Homer: I do, but I'm not going to it.
 * Carl: To Smithers, the world's dumbest loser.
 * Lenny: There'nothing sweeter than being nice to a guy's face and then stabbing him in the back the minute he walks away.
 * Waylon Smithers: All right, that's it. You know, I used to wonder why Mr. Burns hated humanity. Now I know. You open your heart and they mock your very decency.
 * Homer: Ooh, we mock your very decency.


 * Homer: I'm pounding Melchizedeks.
 * Carl: Homer, that's a $60,000 bottle.
 * Homer: Whoo-hoo. I'm drinking my salary.
 * Lenny: Yeah, but don't some of that go to income tax?
 * Homer: Yeah, you're right. The government... taking my hard-earned stolen wine and spending it on that no-good floor.
 * Lenny: I hear that.


 * Mr. Burns: Is it a crime to want nice things, and then to steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not!


 * Bart: Who's carrying 50 times her weight? Ooh, you are.
 * Lisa: Bart! She's only carrying 30 times her weight. Our girl is slowing down.
 * Bart: Oh, my God. That is so sad.
 * Lisa: It's the natural order of things. I'm afraid she's got another two, maybe three days, tops.
 * Bart: Do we let her spend the rest of her life in the wild? Or let her die in captivity, like Grampa?
 * Grampa: Hey, in my mind I'm free.