Fraudcast News/Quotes

All my daughter ever did was tell people to think for themselves. I may be her father, but when I grow up, I wanna be just like her, except still a dude.

Now get out! I can't! My mom's not picking me up for an hour.
 * [Long pause.]

So, what do you think of today’s popular music scene. I think it distracts people from more important social issues. My god, are you always on!?

The town still mourns the loss of its venerable old man. Here it comes. Beloved by children. Ah yes, the little ones. Thought to be thousands of years old. I have been 89 for a while now. We'll miss you, Geezer Rock.

Well, I guess it's impossible for one man to control all the media. Unless, of course, you're Rupert Murdoch. [looks at camera] He is one beautiful man.

Ah, it's as easy as crushing an ant! [sees ant] You know? [tries to crush it but it knocks him over] AARRGGHH!!! Oh! Take my wallet and leave me alone!

Nelson, what journalistic skills do you have? I dunno, making nerds cry? Great, you'll be our TV critic.

What's the big deal about a rock that looks like a dude? I've got a dad that looks like a monkey!
 * [Homer is humped over, scratching his crotch and eating a banana.]

(Scoffs) Bart! You promised you'd stop making that comparison! [grabs Bart to strangle him]

I'm gonna pull an all-nighter for my daughter! Marge! Go put on a pot of coffee! Drink it. And start making hamburgers!