The Fabulous Faker Boy/Quotes


 * Marge: So, how much are lessons?
 * Slava: I give you something you want... you give me something I want. I'm sorry, did my voice go all evil? It is common with Russian accent.
 * Marge: You'd better be asking for something PC: pie or cake.
 * Slava: Here's my offer: my daughter give lessons, you teach me to drive car.
 * Marge: There might be some nagging involved.
 * Slava: Deal! Now we toast with vodka.


 * Bart: Uh, Mom? I'm sorry I pretended to be good at piano. And I'm really ashamed that I lied.


 * Marge: Well, I'm glad your side of the deal worked out.
 * Slava: What are you talking about? Your boy is genius!
 * Marge: No, he cheated.
 * Slava: Marge, in Russia, everyone succeeds by cheating. Even Russian dressing is just Thousand Island.
 * Marge: (gasps)
 * Slava: But your son is a good boy. He cheated for love, and he cheated for you.
 * Marge: Thank you!


 * Bart: That is so beautiful. Did you write it?
 * Zhenya: These are scales. Now, memorize: Every good Boris deserves farm.
 * Bart: Let me try. Every good booger deserves flicking.
 * Zhenya: Your tongue is nimble, unlike sausage fingers.
 * Bart: Sausage fingers!
 * Zhenya: Do what I do.


 * Bart: TV's gotten so lousy.
 * Milhouse: Did you ever wonder if hippopotamuses think that rhinos are unicorns?
 * Bart: TV's not so bad.