Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo/Quotes

Hey! Look, there's a cyber-café opening here in Springfield. Will you take me, Dad, please? I'll show you how to order pizza over the Internet. The Internet? Is that thing still around? I know a website that shows monkeys doing it. Bart, the Internet is more than a global pornography network; it's --
 * [Lisa is cut off by the horn honking in the driveway. Homer and Bart are already in the car.]

Come on, Lisa -- monkeys!


 * [At the cyber-café, Homer net-surfs on two computers at once.]

Wow, Dad, you're surfing like a pro! Oh, yeah! I'm betting on Jai-alai in the Cayman Islands, I invested in something called 'News Corp' -- Dad! That's FOX! [shrieks] Undo! Undo!

I'm still checking Japanese TV. Hey, isn't it that cartoon that causes seizures? [suddenly starts having a seizure)' Bart, what are you doing- [suddenly has a seizure] Hey, what the- [suddenly has a seizure as well]''


 * [The Simpsons eat at a USA-themed restaurant called Americatown. Each table is shaped like a state, and the Simpsons are seated at Massachusetts.]

I can't believe they stuck us at Taxachusetts! Hey, you know, I once knew a man from Nantucket. And? Let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated.
 * [A waiter approaches the Simpsons' table.]

Howdy, gangstas! I'm average American Joe Salaryman waiter. These prices suck! Ten thousand yen for coleslaw? Don't you serve anything that's even remotely Japanese? Don't ask me; I don't know anything! I'm product of American education system. I also build poor-quality cars and inferior-style electronics. [chuckling] Oh, they got our number!


 * [After Homer and Bart are released from the prison, the family is takes a walk in a park.]

Satori no himitsu oshieru no? (Should we tell them the secret of inner peace?) Dame yo! Are ha gaikokujin daro (No, they are foreign devils!)


 * [After losing their money, the Simpsons work in a fish-processing plant to try to earn their fare home.]

[cheerfully] Every truckload of fish we gut brings us thirty-one cents closer to those tickets home. And I think I've finally found what I was put on this earth to do. [starts gutting fish] Knife goes in, guts come out. Knife goes in, guts come out.
 * [Bart pulls a talking fish out of the pile.]

Spare my life and I'll give you three wish... [knife goes in, guts come out] ... gaah! Knife goes in, guts come out.

[turns on the TV and Homer appears in the screen] Mom, Lise check it out Dad's on TV. [Lisa and Marge watch] [unzips his pants and sits on the toilet] Oh yeah! [Marge, Bart, Lisa off screen screaming at what they see]