C.E. D'oh/Quotes

So, kids, it's Valentine's Day, and you know what that means! You get to stay downstairs watching TV with the sound turned way up! What about you and mom? Oh, we'll be upstairs in the bedroom, making love...ly...rope ladders, in case there's a fire.

You see this watch? It's jammed with so many jewels, the hands can't move. [to Homer] What kind of watch do you have? Uh, well, I drew it on. See? Uh-huh. You see that car out there? That's a Bentley Mark 12. They gave one to me, one to Steven Spielberg, then they shot the guy who made it! Wow, I'd hate to be in that union.

Listen up life obstacles! From now on, nothing's gonna stand in Homer Simpson's way! [to Bart] Do your homework! [to Lisa] Don't do so much homework! [to Maggie] Learn to talk! [to Marge] You! Let's love! Now! Sounds good to me! [tries to carry Marge up the stairs but runs out of breath] Go on ahead! I'll just slow you down!

Now, a few more details about this year's company picnic-it's at the plant, no food will be served, the only activity will be work, and the picnic is cancelled.

Mr. Burns' reign of terror is over. [the workers cheer] And today begins my reign of terr... [the workers gasp in fear] ...iffic management! [the workers sigh in relief] I thought he was gonna say 'terror.' Oh, I don't think he was going that way. Unlike Mr. Burns, I will respect you, the working-class slob, because we are all equals! And now, as I ascend this crystal staircase to my office, I say-avert your gaze!

Well, now that I'm forcibly retired, I feel I should give back to society and do some charitable work, but... first I want to take a lot of opium.


 * [In the Marrakesh marketplace.]

[to shopkeeper] Uh, excuse me! Do you know where I can buy some, uh... [whispers] drugs? [loudly] Drugs? Everything is drugs! Banana made of drugs! Monkey made of drugs! Look! All market made of drugs! [picks up a brick of hashish] I'd like to buy this. Only American money! [whispers] Our money is made of drugs.