Barthood/Quotes


 * Bart: Why is the sky blue?
 * Homer: Hmm... I don't know. Just is.
 * Bart: Why are clouds white?
 * Homer: No clue.
 * Bart: Why are people yellow?
 * Homer: It's the way God made them.
 * Bart: Why is grass green?
 * Homer: So you can find your damn golf ball. Now I have a question for you. Why did you leave your toy car on the stairs?
 * Bart: Why is blood red?
 * Homer: Why do you ask?
 * Bart: It's coming out your ear.
 * Homer: D'oh!


 * Bart: How come she can read and I can't?
 * Frink: All right, calm down, young man. Not to worry, you won't need to read. You see, customers will just point to a picture of the burger that they want you to flip. (exclaims) Because you're not gonna have anything going.


 * : Bart's disruptive behavior is probably caused by his feeling that you think other children are more deserving of attention.
 * Homer: Mm, I see. And how can we help these other children?
 * Marge: We're here for Bart.
 * Psychologist: In a boy like Bart...
 * Homer: Yeah?
 * Psychologist: ...the attention he craves most is from his father.
 * Homer: Pfft. Good luck with that.
 * Psychologist: Take him camping!
 * Homer: I do want to help him, I do.
 * Psychologist: And your son is just looking for your love.
 * Homer: Geez. For a psychologist, you sure know how to get into people's heads.


 * Bart: (sniffs) Oh, weed. That can get me into a lot of trouble. Hey, idiots, the bong stays in the treehouse!
 * Homer: Hey, boy. (laughs)
 * Bart: Are you crazy? What if the cops come?
 * Chief Wiggum: (laughing, coughing)
 * Bart: You're here, too?
 * Chief Wiggum: Yeah, must be weird for you. And-and think about this, man-- the whole world is happening right now. I mean, India, China. It's crazy.
 * Bart: Can you just leave me here with my dad?
 * Chief Wiggum: All right, sure. I can fly! No, no, I can't! I can't!
 * Bart: Dad, why is it you and I are never on the same page?
 * Chief Wiggum: Officer down, man.


 * Bart: Why are clouds brown?
 * Homer: Pollution.
 * Bart: Why is the grass green?
 * Homer: 'Cause it's artificial.
 * Bart: Then why are the sprinklers coming on?
 * Homer: 'Cause I was too lazy to unhook them.
 * Bart: Why aren't we moving?
 * Homer: Because you're drunk and I'm stoned.
 * Bart: Why does beer taste so good?
 * Homer: 'Cause you've just had seven.