Maggie Come Home/Quotes


 * Carl: Hey, Homer, what's going on? It's 100 degrees in here, and you're the only one not sweatin'.
 * Lenny: Yeah, normally by this time you're on your third shirt, and wer'e on our fifrth set of nose pluts.
 * Waylon Smithers: Simpson! Iron that shirt! It's all wrinkly and has entirely too much back hair!
 * Carl: [GASP!] That's it! Your shirt! It's painted on!
 * Homer: Heh, heh! I got the idea watching Bart white out that teacher's comment's on his report card.


 * : Hi, Lisa. I'm here as your union representative for a friendly surprise visit.
 * Lisa: Aaaaah!
 * : Excuse me?
 * Lisa: Uh... I just bit my tongue.
 * : So this is the young lady you're baby-sitting?
 * Lisa: Yes!
 * : You know, I just came from a house on Oak Street where one of our memebers was looking after her cousing and didn't have a contract.
 * Lisa: [GASP!] Shameful!
 * : Oh, don't worry! She'll never baby-sit on thie continent again.


 * Lisa: So you see, Ms. Sinclair, it was all a big misunderstanding. If I can just get my sister back, we'll be on our way.
 * Ms. Sinclair: I wish it were that simple. You see, your little lie has damaged all our computer records. All over town, children are being delivered to the wrong addresses. it's chaos! Even if I could help you, our records are only open to union memembers, and you, my little lying Lisa, are permanently drumemd out.
 * Marge: Listen to me! My daughter is out thre somewhere, helpless, hungry, alone...
 * Ms. Sinclair: Well, she's with the driver, and the limousine has an honor bar with snacks...
 * Lisa: Wait! Can my mom join the union? Then she could look at your records.


 * Moe: A baby? But I'm sure I ordered a new case of pickled clams!
 * Raphael: Look, we don't make mistakes. Er, aside from that one earlier today at the Wiggum place. Anyway, I was told to pick her up and bring her here.


 * Lisa: Maggie's gone, and it's all my fault! I can't get into the computer records because--
 * Bart: Wait! You're saying I'm 100% blame-free and you're the one in trouble?
 * Lisa: Yes, but...!
 * Bart: Wait! I'm savoring the moment!
 * Lisa: Bart!
 * Bart: Okay! Oaky! We can search for the info you need at Milhouse's dad's apartment. He's got a new computer!