The Way We Weren't/Quotes

[walking funny] I used to walk like this until my tendons snapped. They heard it in Shelbyville.

I'm Elvis! Elvis Jagger. Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar.

Dad, how could you? Because he's the kind who kisses and leaves you!

Men are dogs, the worse we treat you, the more you want us. That's not what dogs do. Lisa said, "Dog doo!"

Let me get this straight. When you were my age, you had the hots for Mom and didn't even know it? That's cool! Or is it lame? I guess I'll go with lame. You're lame! Why, because I've only kissed one girl in my whole life? That's still one more than you. I've kissed 3 girls. [crying] I'm so lame!

[while playing "Spin the Bottle"] Round and round the bottle twirls, I hope it stops on one of the girls. [the bottle lands on Sherri and Terri's cousin] I hope you like the taste of ringworm medicine.

You won't be kissing anyone for a while. Well, that stinks, but I'll still get to kiss you, right?