I, (Annoyed Grunt)-bot/Quotes

Flame decal for the chain guard, Marine Corps tassels... bullet-proof seat... and a rub-on tattoo for that "special someone". That's me! [applies tattoo then reads it] Biker chick? [moans]

A ten-speed bike?! What did your mother say? She said yes. [from the other room] I said no! I'm confused! Which is it? It's no! His old bike is fine! Yeah, the kitchen lady's right -- no new bike while your old one still works.

Hey, boy, what do you say we build a robot? Face it, you're not the most mechanical guy in the world. But you're good at other things: like... eating while driving. That's somethin'... and nobody gets madder at the news.

Mom, I'm not sure I'm ready for a new cat. When Bad Things Happen To Cute Children says that a new pet will pull you out of your sorrow cycle. That book doesn't know how I feel. Oh, it's very wise. It's written by a rabbi -- who surfs!

There's nothing worse than the look on a boy's face when he says "Dad I don't think you can build a fully-functional robot."

It's Tuesday the first. If you live in Krusty Brand low income housing, your rent is due.

Oh, Lisa. Honey, it's okay. You're a Buddhist, so you know your cats are now reincarnated as a higher form of life. Like a dog. Or a snowman! Ashes to ashes... dust to dust... we've gotta go fight some robots.

Can robots feel pain? If so, we are horrible, horrible people. He's killing him softly with his saw! Killing him softly? With his saw!

Doin' it for the boy... doin' it for the boy... pain is love... to bleed is to care...

Mom, I'm not sure if I'm ready to open my heart again, but this kitten's name is Coltrane. Maybe it's a sign? Coltrane? Lisa, I'm glad you're ready to love again. But a kitty needs a proper name, like Whiskers. Or Paws Scaggs. Well, I think it's only fair I get to name him. You got to name me. You should be glad I did. Your father wanted to call you Bartzeena!

Well, if you ever want to see a mailbox shoot a boy, that's about as close as you're gonna get.

My job was to keep Lisa's hope alive. But instead, she's really depressed. You think you've got problems, look what I just pulled out of my arm! That's what we in the business call "a biggie." Business, what business? The business of being a Dad. Can you hand me that magnet?

I'm keeping you! You're Snowball Five, but to save money on a new dish, we'll just call you Snowball Two and pretend this whole thing never happened. That's really a cheat, isn't it? I guess you're right, Principal Tamzarian. I'll just be moving along, Lisa. Snowball II.

Bart, I'm sorry -- I could never build a robot this awesome. I'm a fraud. So, you fought all those robots? Affirmative. That is so cool You really think so? Yeah! Any Poindexter can throw some nuts and bolts together -- you risked your own life, even though you're the sole provider for a family of five! I am the luckiest kid in the world.

Son, did you ever suspect it was me? Well, you did disappear a lot, but I have gone whole summers without seeing you. [chuckles] Yeah, I'm pretty unreliable. I like you, son. I like you too, Dad.