Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington/Quotes

Mmmmmm… promo. EEWWW!!! Fox!!!!

You're watching Channel 6, Springfield's home for Krusty the Clown, now on 3 times a day. Because at Channel 6, we got nothin' else!

There has to be a solution that pleases everyone, from ducks and trees to you's and me's.

[pedaling a flying contraption in the air] If I stop pedaling, I'll die! But it still beats U.S. Air!

[moving across the floor on a toilet] I've had this dream before.

Krusty, I don't usually give advice to Republicans. But it would be nice to be on the winning side…for once.

Krusty, I thought you'd make a difference, that's why I voted for you! How could you vote? You're only 10! This is not about me, or how many times I voted.

I vow to reach out to the Latino community! [in Spanish] Voy a vomitar en la tomba de tu madre!
 * [The crowd gasps.]

Ay yi yi! What'd I say? What'd I say? You said you were going to vomit on their mothers' graves! Oh! So that's why my maid quit.

I could even tell the FCC to take a hike. Look at this list of words they won't let me say on the air.(hands Bart a piece of paper) Aww! All the good ones. Hmm, I never even heard of number nine. That's 2-ing 13 while she's 11-ing your 5. Can I keep this? Sure, no 12 off my ass.

I guess there's only one way out of our problems: a murder-suicide pact. How can you say that? It's just an expression, Marge.

Are you guys any good at covering up youthful and middle-aged indiscretions? Are these indiscretions romantic, financial, or treasonous? Russian hooker. You tell me. No problem, we'll just say you were on a fact finding mission. I did find out one fact, she was a guy! Well if Eddie Murphy can go on to play Dr. Dolittle I suppose we can make this work. Congratulations Krusty, you're running for congress!

This is Kent Brockman, with a special live report from the headquarters of Krusty opponent John Armstrong. How can I prove we're live? Penis! Now here's the candidate.

[to Homer] I'll give you a milk and 3 crayons for your house. It's a good deal. I advise you to take it. Make it a chocolate milk and you got a deal. I'm walking away. [walks away]

Welcome, fellow Republicans. To start with the old business, Brother Hibbert will read a report on our efforts to rename everything after Ronald Reagan. All Millard Fillmore schools are now Ronald Reagans, the Mississippi River is now the Mississippi Reagan... And my good friend Frankenstein is now Franken-reagan. Blah! Excellent!