Mr. Burns to the Rescue/Quotes


 * Mr. Burns: Hmmm. Dinner seems to be noticeably absent tonight. Smithers? Rigorous bathtime exfoliations arent's forthcoming. Smithers? [TCCH!] The hounds aren't going to releaes themselves! Smiiitherrrs!
 * Mr. Burns' hounds: Woo! Woooo!


 * Mr. Burns: What is Samuel Hill...? Smithers! This bacon is too curly! You know I like my cured met's stretched flat! Take this away!
 * Waylon Smithers: Of course, sir.
 * Mr. Burns: Go down to the basement and fetch my left-handed bacon streatcher! You can use it to re-prepare this travesty tou call breakfast.
 * Waylon Smithers: [Cuckle!]
 * Mr. Burns: Cease your cacophound giggles and guffaws, you lackwit! Did I say something humorous?
 * Waylon Smithers: Welll... er... No, sir, it's just that... a left-handed bacon stretcher doesn't actually exist. When I was a boy at camp, we used to send the younger kids out looking for one as a joke. Kind of like a snipe hunt... you know, a fool's errand.
 * Mr. Burns: Banana oil! That bacon stretcher is a Burns family heirloom! Now cease your lollygagging and go find it!
 * Waylon Smithers: Eeep! Yes, sir!


 * Mr. Burns: Mr. Smithers may have been my lackey for years... ...but even he doesn't know all the secrets of stately Burns manor!


 * Waylon Smithers: I assure you, this is just a misunder---
 * Monster: Silence! All trepassers must be dealt with your punishment is... ...death!
 * Mr. Burns: What in the name of Al Jolson is going on here? I say, you there!
 * Monster: Who dares...?! I don't know how you got in here, but you wont't be leaving prepare to die!!
 * Waylon Smithers:Nooo! Mr. Burns!
 * Monster: Mr. Burns?! I'm so rorry, sir! I didn't recognize you. My eyes aren't what they used to be... it's the blasted light down here. Heh, heh! Please don't fire me.


 * Mr. Burns: I need my left-handed bacon streatcher. Fetch it posthaste!
 * Monster: Right away sir! I just ssaw it here the other day, you know... oh, this place is such a mess... why is it always the last place you look... I'm sure it's around here somewere...