Artists

"Artists" is a song sung mainly by Kurt Hardwick and Ethan Ballantyne.

History
The original version of "Artists" is sung when Flynn asks Kurt and Ethan what they do for a living. They sing the song, with input from Lisa Simpson, and a cow. The song makes out what a great life they lead as artists.

The reprise of the song was sung when Lisa went to visit Kurt and Ethan at their apartment and found out they were poor and had lied about how glamorous their lives were. They told Lisa the truth about their lives through song. Krusty the Clown also sang some lines.

Original

 * Kurt:
 * We spend our days acting and painting...


 * Ethan:
 * Dancing and sculpting...


 * Kurt:
 * Playing my Gibson.


 * Ethan:
 * Rehearsing my Ibsen.


 * Kurt:
 * Because you see, young artists...


 * Ethan:
 * Artists are the people who hold up a mirror.


 * Kurt:
 * Artists make society see its faults clearer.


 * Ethan:
 * Artists help stamp out oppression and wars.


 * Kurt:
 * And when we camp outdoors...


 * Kurt and Ethan:
 * We make the best s'mores.


 * Kurt:
 * Three layers, mother nature.


 * Ethan:
 * Mmm...


 * Kurt:
 * Yeah, yeah.


 * Ethan:
 * Mmm...


 * Kurt and Ethan:
 * Artists end poverty with music and dance.
 * Artists make art on the beaches of France.


 * Lisa:
 * I never knew artists were all so amazing!


 * Kurt:
 * Excuse me while I talk to this cow that is grazing.
 * I give art like you give milk.


 * Cow:
 * Moo.


 * Ethan:
 * Everyone listens when artists are talking.


 * Kurt:
 * Cause artists are smarter than Mr..


 * Stephen Hawking:
 * Oh yeah. Break it down for me, fellas.
 * A brief history of rhyme.


 * Lisa:
 * Do you think that I could be an artist in the city?


 * Ethan:
 * Hold on Lisa, let me check with the committee.
 * So what do you guys think?


 * Stephen Hawking:
 * Yes.


 * Cow:
 * Moo.


 * Kurt:
 * I agree.


 * Kurt and Ethan:
 * Yes, Lisa, you could be an artist in the world.
 * So move to the city when you're less itty-bitty girl!
 * To the gritty city when you're less itty-bitty, girl!
 * The city's pretty gritty for an ity-bitty, pretty girl!

Reprise

 * Kurt and Ethan:
 * Artists are the least important people in the world!
 * So whatever you do, don't be an artist, girl.


 * Ethan:
 * Artists make a living, dressing up like a falafel.


 * Kurt:
 * Artists shed a tear when they're called something awful.


 * Schoolboy:
 * You ain't no falafel!


 * Krusty:
 * Artists sit in jail, on a lifetime hitch...
 * The only way out is become a prison snitch.
 * Oh why did I sing that out loud?


 * Lisa:
 * What I don't get is, why all the lies?


 * Kurt and Ethan:
 * We wanted you to think we were happening guys.

Behind the Laughter
The music was written by Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie and the lyrics by Tim Long. Mickey Petralia served as a producer for the song. Parts of the original version play over the end credits of the episode.