The Man Who Grew Too Much/Quotes

(At the church entrance, Marge's look through the church bulletins that is taken)
 * Marge: Bake sale-- taken. Candle snuffing-- taken. Baby shusher, miscellaneous choir support. Everything's taken! All that's left is...
 * Ned: Teen abstinence counseling. You get to pass out abstinence pledges and make sure the kids sign their John Han-bleeps.
 * Marge: But, Ned, saying nay is your thing.
 * Ned: Not this month. Edna signed us up for a tango class. It was the only way I could avert... wine-tasting.
 * Marge: Look, I'm really not comfortable talking about S-E-X with K-I-D-S.
 * Reverend Lovejoy: (walking passby) Language.
 * Ned: Oh, it's not that hard. Just tell them that God wants them to ignore everything in their bodies that God is making happen.
 * Todd: We took the pledge!
 * Rod: We won't have sex until we're married!
 * Todd: To each other!

(Rod and Tood are skipping out together as they humming tune happily)
 * Ned: Mm, their skipping lessons are really paying off.


 * Lisa: (to Marge) Mom, can I visit Sideshow Bob?
 * Bart: Why would you want to do that? He's tried to kill us!
 * Lisa: You. He tried to kill you. And I refuse to concede a mind that thinks so much like mine can be all bad.
 * Marge: Don't you think the parts that aren't evil are a little, pretentious?
 * Bart: Absolutely. We're talking about Lisa, right?
 * Lisa: Shut up!
 * Bart: You shut up!
 * Lisa: This is the pinnacle of conversation around here!
 * Homer: Fine, I'll take you. They have this cool psych class at the campus I sat in on.
 * Marge: Uh, that was a sexual harassment seminar.
 * Homer: It doesn't matter. I'm taking it pass-fail.


 * Lisa: Dad! You already ate all the chocolate bars.
 * Homer: That's why I got to get the marshmallows down fast.


 * Homer: (reading Tweeter's Digest) I like how they cut them down from 140 characters to a more manageable 20 characters.
 * Marge: (worry about the next seminar) Oh, another seminar tomorrow. I just wish I could connect with those teenagers, since it seems like we'll never have any.
 * Homer: Oh, Marge, teens can't control their urges. It's why there's never been a teenage president.
 * Marge: Are you saying I'm wasting my time?
 * Homer: No. I'm saying you're wasting everyone's time. But it's a church thing, so that's a given.


 * Bart: Jig's up, Bob! Return the spear to the Homo erectus. Homo erectus? Where has that word been all my life?


 * Sideshow Bob: Now, Bart, I promised I wouldn't hurt you.
 * Bart: You did that for me?
 * Lisa: More for Mom, but yes.


 * Lou: Uh, Chief, we got a report of a disturbance at the Met.
 * Chief Wiggum: We got bigger problems, Lou. Horny teens who should be out having bad sex, but instead somebody made them take an abstinence pledge.


 * Lenny: I don't get it. There are taboos about premarital sex in the Middle East, and you don't see those people getting all violent.


 * Ned: I told you, the only dancing I like is square.
 * Edna: Hey, I let you pay for those boys' skipping lessons.


 * Marge: If you defeat this madman, I'll release you from your pledge and teach you other fun ways not to get pregnant.
 * Shauna: I think I might be pregnant already.
 * Marge: Well, that's one of them.